pygmalion
11-04-2003, 11:25 AM
Can you tell I've been web surfing again? I found this cool link which lists lots of AT etiquette tips.
http://www.tangocentral.com/usa/newyork/elchino/BSASCODE.HTM
I found this excerpt to be especially interesting -- using the eye/glance method for asking someone to dance. Do people actually do this?
Using the "Eye / Glance Method" (to ask a person to dance)
I have been told by friends who grew up in BsAs or who have visited Argentina that a social etiquette has developed there which allows men and women to ask each other, using a nonverbal method, to dance. The embarrassment of being turned down for a dance after walking up to a person and directly asking for a dance (see below) is eliminated. Some people feel this method is more civilized, polite, and dignified.
The technique can be called the "eye / glance" method. At a milonga if a man wants to get a woman to dance he will look at her and wait for her to look in his direction. After a woman realizes the man is looking at her she will allow their eyes to meet and "lock" only if she wants to dance with him. If she does NOT want to accept his request at that moment (for the reasons described above) or she NEVER wants to dance with the man (eg. if he is NOT respectful of the other women who have danced with him) she will look away.
However, a smile or a nod will indicate the woman's acceptance of the request and she will maintain the eye contact. This is very important, and men/women who are shy or have a tendency to look away may have difficulty with this technique. The man who initiated the request will then acknowledge in a similar way. Then the man and the woman will walk towards each other and meet on the dance floor, or the woman will wait for the man to walk and meet her where she is sitting or standing, before starting the first dance.
With this system, women can also ask men to dance by looking at men. However, I get the impression from friends who have visited Argentina that many Argentine men will NOT accept a dance if they do NOT "initiate" the first glance themselves. They may at first decline a woman's request to dance, but they might ask the same woman to dance later in the evening, perhaps after they have watched the woman dance with other men (whose dancing they respect).
http://www.tangocentral.com/usa/newyork/elchino/BSASCODE.HTM
I found this excerpt to be especially interesting -- using the eye/glance method for asking someone to dance. Do people actually do this?
Using the "Eye / Glance Method" (to ask a person to dance)
I have been told by friends who grew up in BsAs or who have visited Argentina that a social etiquette has developed there which allows men and women to ask each other, using a nonverbal method, to dance. The embarrassment of being turned down for a dance after walking up to a person and directly asking for a dance (see below) is eliminated. Some people feel this method is more civilized, polite, and dignified.
The technique can be called the "eye / glance" method. At a milonga if a man wants to get a woman to dance he will look at her and wait for her to look in his direction. After a woman realizes the man is looking at her she will allow their eyes to meet and "lock" only if she wants to dance with him. If she does NOT want to accept his request at that moment (for the reasons described above) or she NEVER wants to dance with the man (eg. if he is NOT respectful of the other women who have danced with him) she will look away.
However, a smile or a nod will indicate the woman's acceptance of the request and she will maintain the eye contact. This is very important, and men/women who are shy or have a tendency to look away may have difficulty with this technique. The man who initiated the request will then acknowledge in a similar way. Then the man and the woman will walk towards each other and meet on the dance floor, or the woman will wait for the man to walk and meet her where she is sitting or standing, before starting the first dance.
With this system, women can also ask men to dance by looking at men. However, I get the impression from friends who have visited Argentina that many Argentine men will NOT accept a dance if they do NOT "initiate" the first glance themselves. They may at first decline a woman's request to dance, but they might ask the same woman to dance later in the evening, perhaps after they have watched the woman dance with other men (whose dancing they respect).