How to swap teachers...diplomatically?

[MadamSamba]

Hi, folks. I've been dancing for little over a year and I've had only one instructor for private lessons. I like my instructor and while he's a beautiful and competant dancer of all styles, his strength is modern.

I've done a new vogue medal with him and am working on silver. The next lot I want to do is latin and there are other teachers at my studio who are better technically and aesthetically with latin and I'd rather do lessons with them. I can't afford two privates a week, so after I've done the silver new vogue medal, I intend to go straight into bronze latin, but with another instructor.

Any advice on how I can break the news to my teacher without looking disloyal or insulting him? We get on well, but I don't want it to look like I'm finished learning from him and am ditching him because I've found someone better. How have you swapped teachers in the past?

[DanceMentor]

Using the "One Minute Manager" technique:

Tell him how truly wonderful he has been in helping you with your dancing. maybe give him a small gift as a small token of your appreciation. Then let him know that you will be pursuing Latin dancing for a while. Maybe you could ask him which teacher he thinks would be best for you.

Keep in mind that losing students is part of being a dance teacher, and I'm sure he has dealt with similar situations in the past.

[pygmalion]

This is a tough one, MadamSamba. I have switched teachers a few times, but because I was taking multiple lessons, I just weaned one while increasing the other. The ugliness happened when I switched studios completely. The very nice people I used to study with just didn't want to let me go. The thing is, not only is ego involved, but livelihood is involved too. A lot depends on the personality of your instructor.

If you plan to stay at the same studio, your best bet is probably to sit down with your current instructor and tell the truth. Don't say that he's BAD at Latin. Maybe say he's known for smooth. Or something like that. But let him know in no uncertain terms that you have to move on, in order to reach your goals. If he's a good guy, he'll let you go

[Sagitta]

Accentuate the positive and it is difficult to go wrong. Make sure that there is nothing negative in the entire conversation. I've even said things like "I'm interested in trying out a different teaching style". [Talk of possible bad reactions to something like that!] However, this was to an instructor who said that one can always learn something new from different people; who noticed that I exhibited greater enthuisasam then the other people in my class for learning to dance, and even took the time to offer tips on how to improve before class, during breaks....I knew that this guy would not take what I said the wrong way, and anyway that wasn't the entire substance of our conversation. But, if you've been with an instructor that long you probably know what to say/do if you just trust yourself.

I've not had a problem personally. There are no studios in Ithaca, but I have taken some private lessons/group lessons with different instructors switching between them. One month I did latin with one and the next I did swing with the other. I have always made it clear that the switching was solely because of my changing focus. While the instructors all can do the various dances they acknowledge that there are others from whom it is better to learn as that is their primary dance, the one they love to danec and teach. Why should there be a problem in this case? I don't see any, never did, and never had!! I also dance with these instructors socially and haven't seen my switching around affect our social dances. Granted I've not been dancing for long so perhaps the instructors don't view me as that big a source of income, unlike doing dance with one instructor for as long as you have MadamSamba.

In fact I have switched to latin again, as I am finishing my lindy class, and just took a private with the latin instructor so that I could jump into the ongoing casino rueda class.

[pygmalion]

That's good advice, Sagitta. Keep it positive. But be prepared for any outcome. I've had a teacher get verbally abusive with me, I've had one act mortally injured, and I've had one who ignored me as much as possible until my lessons with him were done. People can get strange when their livelihood is involved.

[Adwiz]

Any advice on how I can break the news to my teacher without looking disloyal or insulting him? We get on well, but I don't want it to look like I'm finished learning from him and am ditching him because I've found someone better. How have you swapped teachers in the past?

We're going through the same thing. We have a terrific teacher who, as a 13-time regional champion, has been great for giving us rock solid technique, but we feel it's time to work with someone younger who can provide the high-energy look we want in our performances. So we decided to work with a second teacher at a different studio. One of the benefits is that we can try out the new teacher and see what the chemistry is like. It also lets us gradually move from the one, cutting down the number of lessons as we build up with the other. And the optics are good because it won't look as if we've dumped one teacher in the same studio in favor of a different one. As members of both studios we can practice in either location.

Whether a teacher feels insulted depends on the individual personality as much as how you handled it. No matter how nice and encouraging you are, some people find it hard to handle rejection of any type and will be unpleasant about it.

What counts is doing what you need to do for yourself, not doing something because of someone else's reaction.

[SDsalsaguy]

I'd also just like to add in that, as much as there may be some genuine affection between teachers and student(s) it is still, ultimately a business relationship. Yes, you may have got a lot from them... but that in no way means you shouldn't be able to move on if that entails getting more somewhere else.

As far as keeping it positive, I think that one good way to go about it entails saying that you just want a different perspective on dancing and, as long as you're starting up a new style, it seemed like a good opportunity to get two for the price of one.

[Vince A]

I can empathize with MadamSamba. I've been with the same Pro for a long while now, and even longer if I add in the years that she was our dance team coach.

I'm toying with the idea of trying someone new, just so I can get some "new stuff," etc.

I really feel like I will create friction, so it's a tough call, but I guess I need to keep as a business since it's not a realtionship! But . . . . . .

[pygmalion]

Yes. It's hard. Okay so bottom line it IS a business relationship, but it's also a very intimate relationship. Physically intimate (as in dancing in someone's embrace), and sometimes emotionally intimate (as in friendship) as well. One of the teachers I had to leave, the one who acted injured, has actually held me while I cried, listened to my stories, and been a truly good friend to me. For years. It was so hard to tell him I was moving on. But I had to, because I had grown beyond what he could teach me. It's not a cut and dried thing.

[Vince A]

Yes, very hard. I have genuine feelings for my dance partner (Pro). Not the "I love you" or "let's have an affair" kinda of feelings, but as very good friends. The laughs, the tears, the injuries, the sad stories, family good and bad talks, and thousands of dances with her, etc.

So, it's more than a business-like relationship . . . ???

[msc]

It is hard to switch. Like Jonathan said, though, you have to remember that it's a business relationship, first and foremost. It's especially hard when you realize you've "outgrown" a teacher, and need to move on. I'm lucky in that there's no way I could ever have that problem with my current instructor, but I have had that problem in the past, I know the feeling.

[DanceMentor]

I'm curious how the teacher swapping went.

I also wanted to add that sometimes it's good to alternate teachers and have one for Latin and one for smooth (for example).

[MadamSamba]

Oh, dear, DanceMentor...dare I admit that I read every word of everyone's advice then wussed out of telling him. It's not that I am too scared (I don't want to hurt him, though I know it's part of the job), it's that he is such a great teacher in his style, that I'm loathed to move to another style while still having sooooo much to learn from this one...while my love is salsa and latin, I adore modern and he's brilliant at it...arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I'll probably still be with him this time next year...dammit

[pygmalion]

Hug! I understand. It's not easy at all. *sigh* :?

[SDsalsaguy]

Definately not easy . . . :(

[DancingMommy]

Hi, folks. I've been dancing for little over a year and I've had only one instructor for private lessons. I like my instructor and while he's a beautiful and competant dancer of all styles, his strength is modern.

Any advice on how I can break the news to my teacher without looking disloyal or insulting him? We get on well, but I don't want it to look like I'm finished learning from him and am ditching him because I've found someone better. How have you swapped teachers in the past?

Well, our coach actually told us he wouldn't coach us for Latin. He said that his strength was standard/smooth and that he would give us a reference to a well-known latin coach when we were ready to switch. We've been with our coach for 4 years now (on and off) and we love him to death - he even came to our daughter's baptism with his wife....

But we all know that one day we have to move on. I second everyone's suggestions to be diplomatic and kind and just accentuate the positive while emphasizing your need to grow as a dancer. I like using the "experience different teaching styles" line the best.

[pygmalion]

Unfortunatley, I can't think of a way to keep it from hurting. Recently, when I was going through the worst of my burnout period, my coach though I was going to dump him. The look on his face! :? I mean, he said all the right things about wishing me well, but his feelings were really hurt.

[standardgirl]

I ran in to this problem lately, so I am wondering if anyone has any previous experiences with this.

I take standard and latin lessons with 2 different instructor but in the same studio. Since my standard instructor only teaches standard, there is no problem.
But, after having several lessons with my latin instructor (I started standard earlier), I don't like the way he teaches, and I don't think we go together. There is another instructor in a different studio who I want to try taking lessons from. BUT, if I tell my currently instructor the truth, it will be really weird when we see each other in the future (and we will see each other really ofter, considering I have standard lesson 3 times a week)...... So, what should I do? How should I tell him? I can't tell him I stop dancing latin either, since I will be competing pro/am, and he will most likely end up seeing me in the comp.....

Anyone came across the same problem? What did you do? or What will you do if you are in this situation?

[Laura]

One thing that helps is to remember that it's a business arrangement, that you're paying him to teach you to dance, and that you're always free to take your business anywhere you like. You have absolutely no reason to feel awkward. That said, it does feel a little weird to end things with a teacher, but why spend time and money when you'd rather be working with someone else?

I just stopped taking lessons from my Pro/Am teacher of 7 years. Three years ago he asked me how long I thought I'd do Pro/Am for, and I said that it all depended on how things went with my amateur partner at the time (they did't go well, by the way). Anyway, my teacher said to me "you'll know when the time comes." After my last Pro/Am comp a month ago I realized it was time. The next time I saw my teacher I said to him "remember when we had that conversation and you said I'd know when it was time? I think it's time now." He said he'd miss me. It was very sweet. I still see him around the studio and say hi but we're both so busy when we're there that we don't get to talk. But that's okay, I know I can catch up with him when I really have something big to tell him. And maybe in a month after my new(ish) amateur partner and I dance our first comp I will have something to tell :)

[Chris Stratton]

I think if it's not working for you should go ahead and switch teachers. Dance lessons cost enough money, and take enough out of both people, that you might as well find the ones that work best for you.

So just tell him you chose to study latin somewhere else. I personally tend to volunteer too much information about my reasons and end up only making things worse, so based on my past failings I'd suggets that unless you are really open to reconsidering it might be best to try not to get into a lengthy conversation or debate about it.

[KevinL]

If you aren't getting what you want from this teacher, move on to the teacher that you want. Presuamably the teacher is a respectful adult and will understand that it wasn't working out. If not, it's better to move on quickly...

KevinL

[pygmalion]

Amen to that, Kevin. If the teacher is territorial enough to try to hold you, you need to get away as fast as you can.

[standardgirl]

Amen to that, Kevin. If the teacher is territorial enough to try to hold you, you need to get away as fast as you can.

Ok...I will guess I will take lesson from both for another week, and see how things will go. Mostlikely, I will be quitting my old latin instructor. I agree with Kevin, but I just feel weird to tell him the truth especially since we will still be seeing each other.

[Gumby]

Hey chiwenl -

Just remember most teachers would rather have some of your money than none of your money and they know that if they act childishly the are likely to loose all. Also most teachers with any experience have seen students come and go - likely he.she has begun and ended relationships with his.her instructors. Odds are once the conversation has begun it will be easier than you think.

Good luck

[Big10]

Mostlikely, I will be quitting my old latin instructor. I agree with Kevin, but I just feel weird to tell him the truth especially since we will still be seeing each other.
If you need a "little white lie" to get you out of this situation, you can always allude to a change/conflict in your personal schedule....and that you found a different instructor who is available at more convenient times. 8)

I have had the scheduling conflict honestly arise for me, but it's still useful in a variety of situations....

[standardgirl]

If you need a "little white lie" to get you out of this situation, you can always allude to a change/conflict in your personal schedule....and that you found a different instructor who is available at more convenient times. 8)

I have had the scheduling conflict honestly arise for me, but it's still useful in a variety of situations....

I think this will work fairly well...since it's always hard for us to schedule the lessons, and he knows that. ^^

[ShyDancer]

You dont have to give reasons why you want to stop lessons, just tell teacher that you wont be having any more lessons. If they ask why you can either tell them the thuth or like Big10 said...allude to something else...you want to concentrate on standard and just go to the other studio..whatare the chances of this teacher finding out anyway?

Good Luck!

[Fretful_Porpentine]

I've been having some problems with my instructor lately, and I want to switch to the other male instructor at my studio. Here's a quick outline of why:

My instructor regularly spends huge chunks of my lesson time (read: 20-30 minutes) regaling me with stories of his most advanced student/partner. If it were some other time, I'd be ok with it, but since I'm paying by the hour, I feel really cheated. Also, he's not really teaching me anything. He's spent the month or so "reviewing" for my impending and long-awaited graduation from Bronze 1 (I'm at an AM studio, so the levels are kind of different, I think). This is completely ridiculous since the other instructor, who, frankly, is much better, says that I've been dancing at a full bronze level for several weeks now and should've graduated from Bronze 1 back in September or October! So naturally I'm feeling very aggravated and like I'm not making progress.

However, I feel kind of bad asking to switch my instructor for several reasons: My instructor is really a very nice guy, and I don't like hurting nice people's feelings. Also, I'm not very confrontational. Also, my instructor is the franchisee of the studio. Also, I kind of get the impression that he's the sort of person who harbors grudges, and I don't want things to be weird between us. Nevertheless, I'm determined to switch instructors in exactly 18 days.

Sooooo....what should I do? How do I break the news?

[mamboqueen]

Don't feel bad. The bottom line is it's your money and you're not paying to have a chat pal.

There is another thread around about this subject. Lemme see if I can dig it up.

[waltzgirl]

Without (I hope) turning this into another Arthur Murray pro and con debate thread, I'll venture to say that, though I haven't had personal experience with AM, I have heard and read of some things that might help explain your instructor's behavior. I have heard that some AM franchises deliberately keep students at a particular level until their current package runs out, so they have to buy another package to progress. I'm not saying that's what he's doing, but if he is the franchisee, maximizing income is going to be significant factor to him, one way or another.

As far as the story-telling during lessons goes, I wouldn't wait to say something to him about that. Next time it happens, smile and say "I like to hear your stories, but I really feel like I need to use the time to get ready for my graduation." Hopefully, he'll get the hint, but if he doesn't, say it again, as many times as necessary.

If you're going to change instructors anyway, is there a reason you want to stay at that studio? If there are other options where you live, I'd recommend shopping around and seeing what other studios and independent instructors have to offer. You could take sample lessons or intro packages to see who you liked best before making any major commitments.

By the way, I'm not sure he IS such a nice guy, if he wastes your time, tells stories that imply he prefers another student to you, and holds grudges. Maybe you don't need to feel so guilty!

[standardgirl]

Here is a thread that I started a while ago:
http://www.dance-forums.com/showthread.php?t=5307
Not sure if MQ is talking about the same one.

As you can see, a lot of us have had similar experience. After all, it's a business, and a free market. If you really don't want to hurt your teacher, you don't have to tell the true reason of switching.

[mamboqueen]

That's one; here's another, shorter one:

http://www.dance-forums.com/showthread.php?t=4630&highlight=changing+instructor

Another:

http://www.dance-forums.com/showthread.php?t=1089&highlight=changing+instructor

[Merrylegs]

I think that if you approached the franchisee/teacher A and said I am not happy with our lessons and was thinking about leaving the studio. When he starts to protest, hopefully in a begging tone, you might somehow suggest that you could have a go around with Instructor B. That way the franchisee will be glad he hasn't lost the business completely.

You could blame it on his lack of availability, i.e., you're so busy running your studio that you seem a bit distracted on our lessons.

Just one suggestion. I'm on the verge of another one, give me a little time and it will come to me.

Another one: The truth. Hey, Instructor A, dancing is really important to me and I want to get the most out of my lessons, do you think we could focus more on the physical part of dancing? I also don't like the comparisions between me and the other student.

Another one: When it comes time to rebook, call the front desk and book in with Instructor B. When Instructor A asks you about it, say that you wanted to try something new, say he's a better match for you height wise, etc.

[fascination]

I've been having some problems with my instructor lately, and I want to switch to the other male instructor at my studio. Here's a quick outline of why:

My instructor regularly spends huge chunks of my lesson time (read: 20-30 minutes) regaling me with stories of his most advanced student/partner. If it were some other time, I'd be ok with it, but since I'm paying by the hour, I feel really cheated. Also, he's not really teaching me anything. He's spent the month or so "reviewing" for my impending and long-awaited graduation from Bronze 1 (I'm at an AM studio, so the levels are kind of different, I think). This is completely ridiculous since the other instructor, who, frankly, is much better, says that I've been dancing at a full bronze level for several weeks now and should've graduated from Bronze 1 back in September or October! So naturally I'm feeling very aggravated and like I'm not making progress.

However, I feel kind of bad asking to switch my instructor for several reasons: My instructor is really a very nice guy, and I don't like hurting nice people's feelings. Also, I'm not very confrontational. Also, my instructor is the franchisee of the studio. Also, I kind of get the impression that he's the sort of person who harbors grudges, and I don't want things to be weird between us. Nevertheless, I'm determined to switch instructors in exactly 18 days.

Sooooo....what should I do? How do I break the news?this reminds me alot of what I said to boy next door in another thread....and dont think for one minute that you might not also be getting exploited b/c young ladies your age are usually just what you are, too nice to lay it on the line...just do it...it is a business....resist the guilt

[Lesh]

One of my buddies was having a similar issue in regards to the chatting and solved it in a way that didn't alienate the instructor but it might a bit forward for you. Simply determine how much it costs per minute and mention that.

For instance: "I enjoy learning more about your other student, but this is costing me a dollar twenty five a minute." If the guy is anywhere near as nice as you think he is he will apologize and not make the same mistake again. If he doesn't know it is an issue he might assume that it's fine with you. It could also be a misunderstanding, some people take dance classes to be more social and meet more people, for them I can see the socializing being an important part of the experience.

I wouldn't worry about him holding a grudge over you expressing that you came for lessons, anyone who would has a serious issue they need to resolve to remain professional.

In regards to being held back you may just want to ask what it is you need to do to progress to the next level and ask him how you can demonstrate that. If he skirts around the issue I wouldn't stick around, but he may have some actual reasons for keeping you in Bronze 1 that you are not aware of, or may simply be unaware of your goals.

Reading the issues at hand it is very easy to see him as taking advantage of you, and that is certainly the first impression I got - but more communication could show them as benign mistakes that are easily correctable.

And remember - this is a business for him, he is at work and you are paying for his services. If you were at work talking with your friends half the time and holding back a product from your employer and they called you on it you would have no right to hold a grudge or be angry - neither does he.

[Fedya]

Don't feel bad. The bottom line is it's your money and you're not paying to have a chat pal.

I agree. If you are really do what to stay with this guy, them tell him that it is your time to learn to dance and you are paying for that time. If he wants to talk to you after a lesson about other couple that is fine, but make it clear it is not acceptable during the time that you are paying for. If that does not help, or you really just want to switch to the other guy, try taking a lesson with him and see how you like it. If you find it more suiting to what you want then, don't be afraid to change instructors.

I understand getting attached to one instructor, but at the end of the day, if you are not happy with the services you are paying for, or lack of the service you as a consumer have every right to chose someone who will provide what you want for the money you are willing to pay.

[Joe]

Why don't you say, "How about we talk about [insert other student's name] after my lesson is over?"

[fascination]

Why don't you say, "How about we talk about [insert other student's name] after my lesson is over?"exactly....at my studio , 20 minutes is about 30 bucks....I need to work on my spin trun man...ya know how many spin turns you can do in 20 minutes(too many:rolleyes: )

[Joe]

Enough to make ya dizzy. ;)

[fascination]

hmmm, maybe thats my problem:rolleyes: (okay, part of my problem)

[Medira]

Just remember...spotting is your friend. :tongue:

[redhead]

can you do spotting in standard?????

[Medira]

can you do spotting in standard?????
I know it's the ballet training in me, but I spot every single turn I do, to some degree. Sometimes it's just the eyes that hold the spot as opposed to a full head turn, but it's just natural for me to do it.

[alemana]

"let's make a deal. i'll pay you 1.25 a minute (or whatever it is) to teach me my samba routine, and then after the lesson, YOU can pay ME 1.25 a minute to listen to stories about your other students! see that sounds PERFECTLY FAIR!"

[alemana]

also i think you should double the price for listening to him to make up for "lost income."

[HF]

"let's make a deal. i'll pay you 1.25 a minute (or whatever it is) to teach me my samba routine, and then after the lesson, YOU can pay ME 1.25 a minute to listen to stories about your other students! see that sounds PERFECTLY FAIR!"

:applause: :applause: :applause:

[SDsalsaguy]

also i think you should double the price for listening to him to make up for "lost income."
:uplaugh::uplaugh::rocker:

[Twilight_Elena]

Agree with all above. I'm at a franchise and my teacher (who also happens to be a good friend of mine) has told me that teacher changing happens all the time.

Twilight Elena

[Fretful_Porpentine]

Oh good!

Well, I had a trial lesson with the other instructor and it was absolutely fabulous! I actually noticed a lot of improvement in my cha cha and rumba after just one lesson! I asked him if he would be willing to take me as a student and he said yes (and he promised not to tell my instructor yet). I can't wait till I can start taking lessons with him!

[fascination]

can you do spotting in standard?????no way on the spin turn...I dont think so

[Medira]

no way on the spin turn...I dont think so
...spot with the eyes as opposed to the head. It isn't a full or true spot really, but it does help.

[fascination]

have you done a spin turn? it is just too weird for that...IMO

[Kitty]

I know it's the ballet training in me, but I spot every single turn I do, to some degree. Sometimes it's just the eyes that hold the spot as opposed to a full head turn, but it's just natural for me to do it.

you are not supposed to actually turn in a spin turn

[Kitty]

also i think you should double the price for listening to him to make up for "lost income."


haha that's great :-)
ballroom listening pro:-)

[fascination]

you are not supposed to actually turn in a spin turnno the real object is to suffer...

[fascination]

ya know , I dont sy much on a lesson but I do take stock of whether my pro is willing to talk with me on my dime or his...and whether or not there is a disparity....thankfully, I dont see one....but I would be disturbed if I did..imean I dont mind a chat from time to time on my dime as long as he doesnt mind one on his time from time to time

[deewoman]

I've been having some problems with my instructor lately, and I want to switch to the other male instructor at my studio. Here's a quick outline of why:

My instructor regularly spends huge chunks of my lesson time (read: 20-30 minutes) regaling me with stories of his most advanced student/partner. If it were some other time, I'd be ok with it, but since I'm paying by the hour, I feel really cheated. Also, he's not really teaching me anything. He's spent the month or so "reviewing" for my impending and long-awaited graduation from Bronze 1 (I'm at an AM studio, so the levels are kind of different, I think). This is completely ridiculous since the other instructor, who, frankly, is much better, says that I've been dancing at a full bronze level for several weeks now and should've graduated from Bronze 1 back in September or October! So naturally I'm feeling very aggravated and like I'm not making progress.

However, I feel kind of bad asking to switch my instructor for several reasons: My instructor is really a very nice guy, and I don't like hurting nice people's feelings. Also, I'm not very confrontational. Also, my instructor is the franchisee of the studio. Also, I kind of get the impression that he's the sort of person who harbors grudges, and I don't want things to be weird between us. Nevertheless, I'm determined to switch instructors in exactly 18 days.

Sooooo....what should I do? How do I break the news?


I had to do this last March. It was tough but you're the client. The dance instructors are paid to give you what you want--at least that's what one of my teachers always said. Good luck!

[anntennis]

It is very easy to get attached to one teacher and let it emotionally influence you; I take lessons from 3 different teachers now- Standard, Latin, and Swing/Hustle. At one point I found myself too attached to my Swing teacher, and I took 4 hours lessons a week with him, but I was not sure that my dance level was progessing that much though, so I researched 2 other wonderful instructors and start training with them as well to keep it all business and about my dance skills development, nobody should have an exlusive rights to your time and money in dancing, even if you chemistry with a teacher is very strong.

[fascination]

well it certainly is beneficial to get a wide angle shot from time to time....and if one can maintain more than one instructor without it being an issue for either/all...all the better...but not always possible

[mamboqueen]

I find it to be a terrific experience to sample teachers, or work with a few. I am thankful that my teacher is not remotely possessive or (I guess) insecure about it. He will encourage it, in fact. I will be working with a couple of different teachers while he is on vacation over the next few weeks. If I see someone whose dancing style I really like, I'll book a lesson and see if I can get it to click with me. I also like to take lessons on occasion with female teachers because they will add some stylistic touches that I feel best come from a feminine point of view. And sometimes another teacher will notice something that isn't quite right that perhaps my primary teacher either doesn't focus on (for whatever reason...probably his list of priorities) or doesn't particularly think looks bad.

Now, having babbled all of that, there definitely can be confusion getting information from another teacher -- things can be completely contradictory, in fact. So, I have to keep in mind that I'm dancing and competing with my primary teacher and I still have to do most things his way.

I do know of teachers in my area who will not take a student who dances with outside teachers and coaches on their own. I don't know what their reasoning is, but I just know I wouldn't work well with that type of teacher.

[BestTeacher]

My 2cents here:

As a teacher I think its all about the student at the end of the day. So we as teachers really shouldn't take it personally, although it may hurt, it actually at the end all about the student.... its their money, goal, perception, etc.

Sometimes, students "believe" they learned all that the teacher can teach them... not realizing how much more the teacher can give..... If known to the teacher that this is the reason they are leaving, it could really hurt the teacher. But at the end of the day its just the EGO that gets in the way, we must remember as teachers, we are here to "serve"...and be more than supportive when student feels he/she needs to move on... and also let them know if they wish to come back, they are totally welcome!

[dancingirldancing]

My current teacher does not seem to want to listen to me as far as what I want to learn and what my goals are.

I found another teacher in the same studio who I like very much after a few lesson.

I want to stop lesson with the first teacher.

How do I tell the first teacher that I want to change without creating any rift ?

a. Lie (make up some excuses)
b. Tell him the truth that may offends him
c. ???

[zp3929]

breaking up with a teacher is a lot like breaking up with a partner, you just have to tell them the truth and hope that the wound heals and hasn't cut to deep

[dancingirldancing]

Problem is they are teaching in the same studio.

Otherwise I can tell him I am moving houses or something.....LOL !

I dont want to break his heart but I dont want to spend hundreds of dollar of something that I think has no value either !

[Angel HI]

My current teacher does not seem to want to listen to me as far as what I want to learn and what my goals are.

I found another teacher in the same studio who I like very much after a few lesson.

I want to stop lesson with the first teacher.

How do I tell the first teacher that I want to change without creating any rift ???
Often I feel as though we do not agree on what I want to learn and what my goals are.

After a lesson, I found that I enjoyed dancing with _____ very much.

I would like to try that for a while, and see how it works.

Thanks so much for understanding.
I dont want to break his heart but ...It's a business...no heart is involved. If he is a good teacher, he will want for you what you want for you, and be there if/when you wish for help or to return.

[drsamba]

1st thank them for teaching you, then tell them you've decided you need a break from lessons and that you're going to try to take your dancing in a different direction. *Take a few weeks break* and then start w the other teacher (this is only necessary since you're in the same studio). You don't have to get into details about why, and if you do, it could start an argument. I also wouldnt mention that you plan on starting w/ someone else when you tell your current teacher. Last, if you are nervous and havent been taking from them for a really long time, I don't think it's out of line to do it over the phone, since it's just a business arrangement.

If they push you, you can just say you're not happy right now with your dancing but don't get into details! This is part of the dancing business and they should understand that.

[QPO]

Well we had something similar recently, as we had to tell our teacher we were also having lessons with another school. We found that very difficult,but in the end my DP did they were not happy but now are over it. We love their teaching but they did not have time to give us more. But we are also happy to have two different opinions. You are the customer and you can do want you want. it is about your journey not theirs. Be honest especially since both are in the same studio.

[samina]

No lying required, dancing girl. I suggest the same approach I'd use with dating experiences, which are a similar "try it on til you find one that fits" deal.

"I think you're an excellent teacher, but I just have better chemistry with this other instructor for some reason. I'd like to work with him, now. I hope you take no offense because I mean none!"

Don't burn bridges. It's possible you will later desire what your first instructor has to offer. If you lie, you harm your credibility and relationship.

Always best to be genuine, IMO. Even if the moment might feel awkward. :)

[suburbaknght]

By being honest: "______, I think you're a great teacher and I am learning a lot from you, but while I've made a lot of progress in some areas, my goals are ______. Unfortunately my budget/time doesn't allow me to pursue both right now so I'm trying another instructor who I think can help me focus on those goals. You'll still see me around the studio [at parties or group classes, as applicable]. Thank you for all the help you've given me."

No teacher's going to be happy about losing a student, even to a colleague, but any teacher worthy of the title will be professional about it and this explanation will set the tone for future interactions in group classes and parties.

[Joe]

If the teacher isn't listening to you, you might consider mentioning something like that, as it might encourage him to listen to other students in the future.

[elisedance]

breaking up with a teacher is a lot like breaking up with a partner, you just have to tell them the truth and hope that the wound heals and hasn't cut to deep

exactly - just about any other course will create long term problems.

[tanya_the_dancer]

I was in this situation a few years ago and I just told him that I will not be taking lessons from him anymore. Although back then I was still dancing with my husband and he did not like that teacher. So I used that as an excuse.

[Debra]

I went through this two months ago. The former pro is a younger man (just 30) and took it badly. I thanked him for what he taught me and whenever I see him in the studio I greet him with a smile and a hello. After two months, he is able to return the greeting. It is hard, but as with life, honesty is really the only way to go for each of you to develop.

[fascination]

part of being a grown up is having to be responsible for giving people information they aren't going to like...and part of doing it successfully is resisting the urge to feel guilty or look guilty when you haven't done anything wrong....it isn't fun, but the less rambling on about it the better....even if you feel all squirmy inside, you just pull him aside and say " I have to tell you that I will be switching instructors, I have nothing personal against you, I just think Bob and I will be a better match for various reasons...I hope you are okay with that because I would hate for there to be an awkwardness between us"...his heart will not be broken, though his ego might get slightly bruised...that is recoverable and not your issue

[elisedance]

nicely put F...

[fascination]

well thanks...unfortunately, I have far too much experience with the deilvery of bad news

[etp777]

as an aside, thank you for whomever fixed the title. :)

[fascination]

you are welcome...

[hereKittyKitty]

I went through this situation a few years ago. It was tough because I loved this teacher but I realized that he was not the best person for not only my dancing but my partners dancing as well.
We had reached a state where we had "grown up" and needed to move on. We started to not agree on certain aspect of dancing. He was very dogmatic in his approach and didn't accept certain ideas. Eventually we just didn't schedule with him and he didn't call us. We all got the idea.
When its time to leave, its time to leave. If your instructor is mature, he will understand. If not, then you really shouldn't be there anyway.

[Josh]

Problem is they are teaching in the same studio.

Otherwise I can tell him I am moving houses or something.....LOL !

I dont want to break his heart but I dont want to spend hundreds of dollar of something that I think has no value either !

This has already been mentioned, but I'm going to echo it again: people who lie, especially for the sake of their own comfort, are not mature, and do not consider lying as an option to get out of an uncomfortable situation. Be straight but kind, and face these kinds of situations, and you'll get run over less by others in life. People will respect you for being honest and if they do not, then they are themselves not yet mature adults.

[jophil28]

You could try the method that a couple of my ex students used ...Just do not show up for two back to back lessons, and then do not answer your phone...ha !

[fascination]

I think key here is that if the lessons are scheduled, you owe an explanation, if they aren't you don't neccessarily owe an explanation, but if you are going to be seeing the pro regularly, IMO, it is the decent thing to do

[nucat78]

Is the instructor likely to play the big green eyes and hurt look card? I've never been able to trump that, especially if there's a quivering lip.

[Laura]

Were you dating him? If not, then why the "broken heart?" It's a business, you're supposed to be adults. Be polite, be vague, be quick, get it done and move on.

Yes, I had to break up with a teacher once. I had been taking from him for 7 1/2 years and I decided after one comp that I really preferred to stop doing Pro/Am and just focus on Amateur. So I said exactly that, and that was that. I felt weird and shaky when I was doing it, but it was better to just get it done quickly and move on to the next phase of my dancing.

[fascination]

Is the instructor likely to play the big green eyes and hurt look card? I've never been able to trump that, especially if there's a quivering lip.
dude prolly ain't gonna do that:rolleyes:

[elisedance]

Sooner or later all of us are going to have to go through this I think. I also broke up with a teacher who had been very good to me - but he was 7 inches shorter and I could not compete with him (e.g. lesson: to get into position stick your butt out..). I was up front and told him before looking for a new pro (which was probably overkill but it certainly helped our relationship down the line). He was upset but now he has become one of my biggest dance supporters.

[Hi R, in case you are watching, :kissme: )

[Bella]

a. Lie (make up some excuses)
b. Tell him the truth that may offends him
c. ???

b. Tell the truth, but do so in a "save face" way.

[dancingirldancing]

My main problem with this teacher is not about his ability but I feel like he is witholding information from me. He used to win a lot of professional competition in his days.

The other teacher treats me like an advanced competitor when working very heavily on techniques.

This teacher just keeps on going about practising 'bronze' for at least 6 months without any substantial technique correction.

I have been doing gold and open routines for years now and I dont really know what is the purpose of doing bronze without significant technique improvements.

I just feel like there is no value in the lesson short of practising things over and over again.

I can do that by myself.

Hmm.....see if I have the gut to pull out soon.

[hereKittyKitty]

I've always heard that just because someone was or is a good dancer, that doesn't make them a good teacher and vice versa. It could be he needs a little more experience as a teacher. But if you feel he is holding you back then it really isn't necessary for you continue with him. Especially if you are not growing as a dancer. Thats my two cents...

[dancingirldancing]

Is the instructor likely to play the big green eyes and hurt look card? I've never been able to trump that, especially if there's a quivering lip.


Mine surely would ... that is the other thing everytime I tell him what I want he actually try to talk me out of it and make me do what HE wants in a very manipulative and patronizing way.

[Bella]

This teacher just keeps on going about practising 'bronze' for at least 6 months



Strong dancers repeatedly utilize their skills in basics during their lessons. There may be a purpose why he's drilling you on bronze figures. Remember, all dance instructors teach their skills differently... Some think they'll get you far only if you "cooperate" with their way...

[Laura]

If he's not giving her feedback and technique corrections/improvements then what's the point?

But yeah, working on the "bronze" stuff never ends. It was only today, after 11 years of dancing, after 3 years with the current teacher, that my Natural Spin Turn ("bronze" in Standard Waltz) was deemed "very good, we don't need to work on it" and we moved on to...the Turning Lock! A "gold" pattern. Woo!

[Bella]

I suppose it's worth sticking around if dancingirl finds the lessons still effective. If not, yes... what's the point?

[fascination]

My main problem with this teacher is not about his ability but I feel like he is witholding information from me. He used to win a lot of professional competition in his days.

The other teacher treats me like an advanced competitor when working very heavily on techniques.

This teacher just keeps on going about practising 'bronze' for at least 6 months without any substantial technique correction.

I have been doing gold and open routines for years now and I dont really know what is the purpose of doing bronze without significant technique improvements.

I just feel like there is no value in the lesson short of practising things over and over again.

I can do that by myself.

Hmm.....see if I have the gut to pull out soon.the distinction here...as Laura notes....isn't that he is having you work bronze patterns...but the absence of techincal info accompanying it...b/c I can tell you that I have done quite well in closed bronze pro/am at many of the major comps and I anticipate that ten years from now I will still be doing drills that are comprised of closed bronze steps...

[etp777]

heh, I spend half of every lesson with buddy teacher working rumb basic/cuban walk/rumba walks. but being drilled mercilessly on every bit of technique. well, every bit I can manage, sure she has all kinds of new things to add if I ever master those. :P

[dancingirldancing]

I dont mind doing a technical class but it goes like this.

Okay forget the bronze pattern. I have been learning new vogue from him.

I told him I want to learn body and hand movements etc but he just keep on walking the steps.

What ?

Now back to bronze my lesson will go like this:

Let's do the bronze waltz routine...

Okay let's do the tango.....

Now lets do the foxtrot......

Okay now lets go back to waltz......and so on and so forth

He does not even give me any corrections/feedback/tips for improvements etc.

So it is not the bronze move that I have problem with...

Also, even though I do not mind repeating the bronze moves over and over again dont you think we should occasionaly do the silver and gold ones as well considering I am an open routine dancer ?

[elisedance]

I'm not sure if you mentioned this above but how accomplished is this teacher? Has he competed himself and won at a significantly higher level than he is teaching you? It certainly sounds as if he has nothing to teach you and is simply spinning his wheels.

Whatever the reason - even if he really does have an insight into something that you need to learn - I'd have to agree that your teacher-student relation ship has broken down either because he can not teach you or because he can not communicate to you why he is doing what he is.

The main point is that its not his feelings you have to worry about. Its your future and more important its your money - he has no 'right' to it. I mean would you continue to pay a dentist if he is not fixing your teeth? Or your grocer for food that you can not eat? Think of it that way and then act according to your needs, not those of your dentist or grocer!

[Angel HI]

http://www.dance-forums.com/showpost.php?p=672411&postcount=74

Good post, Fasc. Or, perhaps i like it b/c it is exactly my sentiment in post #65. Great minds.... :)
I dont mind doing a technical class .....even though I do not mind repeating the bronze moves over and over again dont you think we should occasionaly do the silver and gold ones as well considering I am an open routine dancer ?
One has to consider that the guy is the teacher, and perhaps knows better than the student what the student needs. Having said that, and I believe that you know that I am not bashing at all, who decided that you are an open routine dancer, ....you or a teacher? Perhaps the teacher is accommodating you by allowing you to dance open routines while knowing that you still need to repeat bronze tech skills.

[dancingirldancing]

Well surely not him as I said above he never teach me other than bronze routine ! It is actually my other teachers that does open routines with me both Latin and Standard. I wanted to concentrate on new vogue with this one but he keeps on teaching me bronze standard and some walk here walk there new vogue. I am not delusional about what I can do you know !

[fascination]

i beleive OP has stated that the pro in question has some significant accomplishments to his credit....thus, I think the most appropriate course of action would be to question said pro as to precisely why he is choosing this particular course of action...and to insist if he is strong about integrating the bronze concepts more solidly, that he be more specific as to what is missing and what he would like to see more of...

[2totango]

Would it be insulting to the pro if you sat down with him and respectfully asked him what your roadmap was regarding your lessons? I feel if I don't know why I am doing something (what the purpose of the exercise or lesson is), that I cannot fully be "in" the lesson.

[elisedance]

thats a pretty good idea! 22T

[Warren J. Dew]

If he's not giving her feedback and technique corrections/improvements then what's the point?

He could be giving feedback physically, by dancing with her, rather than verbally.

On the other hand, if that's not the way she learns best - or even if it's just not the way she likes to learn - another instructor might be better for her.

[WaltzElf]

Well surely not him as I said above he never teach me other than bronze routine ! It is actually my other teachers that does open routines with me both Latin and Standard. I wanted to concentrate on new vogue with this one but he keeps on teaching me bronze standard and some walk here walk there new vogue. I am not delusional about what I can do you know !


It's hard to give sound advice as to which teacher is doing the correct thing by you when we haven't seen you dance. It may be the case that your teacher is not giving you enough, but then it might also be the case that you're simply not ready for the flowery parts of New Vogue - ie your basic technique isn't ready to support it.

But then, considering "walking" through the routines in New Vogue is still good enough for my partner and I, and we're way beyond the Australian medal system and in the middle of the competition levels, I imagine it's probably good enough for someone who is still doing medal technique.

[dancingirldancing]

My point is not why he made me do basic routines but the lack of everything else.

WaltzElf, are you just walking your steps everytime and all the time or is it an occasional thing ?

I have seen his 'best' students and they are not looking great either. Yet he pushes them through much more than me.

I think he is the sort of person who value tenure more than skills.

So if someone have been with him for a long time then no matter what she or he can actually do he will push them harder and give them a lot of information.

Just because I have not been learning from him for a long time, he could not see my years and years of prior training and treat me like a beginner. It just icks me.

Anyway, I made up my mind. I come back home from his lesson upset everytime because he always says something that belittles me and made me think that he does not think much of my dancing and it is just not worth dropping $350 a month to feel so upset all the time.

ETA: His comments are never constructive it goes like this 'I dont think that you will be able to do this step/comp for a long long time' (duh I have been DOING them for years). Instead of 'Let's see how we can work together to enable you to do this or that'.

[WaltzElf]

WaltzElf, are you just walking your steps everytime and all the time or is it an occasional thing ?

Unless we have a competition on the weekend, then yes, we walk our steps. Without precise footwork you're never going to be able to perform the arm movements or body lines properly anyway.

ETA: His comments are never constructive it goes like this 'I dont think that you will be able to do this step/comp for a long long time' (duh I have been DOING them for years). Instead of 'Let's see how we can work together to enable you to do this or that'.

We're also constantly pulling out figures that we can't do at our stage of development, and avoiding competitions we're not ready for. If we were messing around we could probably do a 10 pivot sequence for a waltz. It wouldn't be very good quality and it wouldn't win us competitions, though. Our teacher's told us that. We accept it.

Blunt "say it like it is" teachers are good.

[dancingirldancing]

But how do you tell the difference whether he meant well or he just wants to stunt your development ?

Especially when my other 2 teachers do not agree with him.

What makes HIM the right one ?

FYI, I never push my teachers to give me harder steps. They danced with me when they first take me then they assess where I was at.

They just happen to have different conclusion from this one.

I do a lot of coaching just on the basic but very productive and effective coaching not just literally walking the step.

I dont even mind not being let to do a competition or another but I absolutely hate to be pushed to do the ones I dont want which he does all the time.

Anyway, in short I am not happy and I think that is all that matter.

He may be GOD of dancing for all I know.

I don't want to be dead before I am even ready to attend some sort of decent comp.

[Josh]

Blunt "say it like it is" teachers are good.

Good for you maybe--good for me maybe--but teachers who always "say it like it is" and don't get the effect they want are not effective teachers. There are times to say it like it is, and times to not do that. Just trying to provide another perspective...

[fascination]

But how do you tell the difference whether he meant well or he just wants to stunt your development ?

Especially when my other 2 teachers do not agree with him.

What makes HIM the right one ?

FYI, I never push my teachers to give me harder steps. They danced with me when they first take me then they assess where I was at.

They just happen to have different conclusion from this one.

I do a lot of coaching just on the basic but very productive and effective coaching not just literally walking the step.

I dont even mind not being let to do a competition or another but I absolutely hate to be pushed to do the ones I dont want which he does all the time.

Anyway, in short I am not happy and I think that is all that matter.

He may be GOD of dancing for all I know.

I don't want to be dead before I am even ready to attend some sort of decent comp.
A) really...gold steps aren't harder than bronze ones...
B) a good dancer knows whether or not their teacher is a "God of dancing"...the fact that there are no technical details being elucidated here tells me that either he or you or both of you are missing something very important

[dancingirldancing]

He may be GOD of dancing for all I know.


Sarcasm ?

[fascination]

sarcastic or not, the fact that you don't know whether he is skilled or not says something about your skill...

[dancingirldancing]

Well, he is skilled alright .... just because someone knows something does not mean that he may want to share it with you ?

Oh GOD of dancing on the other hand is a whole different level IMHO.

Not sure about that....

[WaltzElf]

Good for you maybe--good for me maybe--but teachers who always "say it like it is" and don't get the effect they want are not effective teachers. There are times to say it like it is, and times to not do that. Just trying to provide another perspective...


I would agree 100% - sometimes blunt can hurt and stunt development. But we're not talking about something big here - if a teacher can't say "you're not ready for this step/ this comp" than either the teacher is severly socially stunted and should take some "bedside manners" classes (unlikely, in Australia at least, pro dancers have been dancers long enough that they are social critters), or (more likely) the student is being very sensitive.

I mean, one of my teachers has no qualms whatsoever about telling someone they're "too fat" or "dressing unattractively." If that hurt someone, I can understand, but "you're not ready for this?" That's the job of any good teacher, IMO.

[dancingirldancing]

Okay I dont want to start an argument.

Let's assume:

Me --> Crap beginner level dancer with no talent asking too much
Him --> Excellent teacher

Basic Point --> He made me miserable, dancing is supposedly making me happy

Conclusion --> Will find another teacher who will take crappy dancer like me and treat me with a little bit more respect

That is it.

I will call him today actually.

Thanks for the feedback.

[WaltzElf]

Okay I dont want to start an argument.

Let's assume:

Me --> Crap beginner level dancer with no talent asking too much
Him --> Excellent teacher

Basic Point --> He made me miserable, dancing is supposedly making me happy

Conclusion --> Will find another teacher who will take crappy dancer like me and treat me with a little bit more respect

That is it.

I will call him today actually.

Thanks for the feedback.


The question is - if he's a good teacher (and no one can say either way, since we've never seen you dance or him teach), which is more important to you? Dancing well, or being pandered to with an overly soft touch (again, making huge hypotheticals here and assuming you're being very sensitive about certain things).

I would argue that dancing well and watching yourself improve is where the happiness in dancing comes from (that and the relationship you have with your partner, but that's a personal point of contention for me). If I stopped improving, then, and only then, would I consider myself unhappy with my teacher, regardless of how hard they are on me.

[dancingirldancing]

Problem --> I am not improving

I used to be on gymnastic team so taking crap is my forte.

Not taking let down upon let down.

Maybe actually I can cope better if he is hard on me THEN tell me I am no good rather than never saying anything to me THEN tell me I am no good.

Eg. Your spin turn is crap you need to do this and that to correct it hence you are not ready for this comp.

I really dont want to start argument here.

[WaltzElf]

Problem --> I am not improving

I used to be on gymnastic team so taking crap is my forte.

Not taking let down upon let down.


So then the question becomes why are you not improving?

It might be the teacher, yes. However, there is still one other question - what is the calibre of the competition couples that he teaches? If he has level 4 or 5 couples who are loyal to him, then it's likely not. If however, he doesn't, then it's a good sign that his ability to teach to a high level of proficiency is limited.

It's not an absolute measure of a teacher, of course, but it's a good way to get a guideline.

[dancingirldancing]

His highest rated couple is a level 1 which he has about 2 of the rest he kept on medallist.

[WaltzElf]

His highest rated couple is a level 1 which he has about 2 of the rest he kept on medallist.

Ok, I think you should have the benefit of the doubt then. Can you PM me his name?

[dancingirldancing]

I would really want to keep it confidential. Ballroom scene in Australia is pretty small. I am sure he would hear about it eventually.

And considering I want to stay in the same studio with a different teacher I dont think it will be wise.

[etp777]

Whether he may be trying to help you or not, it clearly isn't helping you emotionally, etc. Definitely talk to him, and if things eithe rdon't change ,or he can't explain what he is aiming for to your satisfaction, should probably start looking elsewhere. I get frustrated with both my pros often, but I learn in every single lesson. My frustration is generally actually really frustration with myself, redirected to them (like when I hear for fifth lesson in a row that I need to use my sides, or keep tension on hands for lead, etc). It seems like this isn't case for you, it's just frustration, and it's coming to a boil.

[elisedance]

thats what I'm reading too etp - looks like the time for negotiation/discussion/polite talk may already have passed...

snd so to be...

[emeralddancer]

Maybe I am completely reading this wrong ... but DGD sounds like when she talks about walking thru steps, she is being literal. Walking thru steps with no idea if better or worse because teacher is not stating one way or the other and she sees he is teaching differently with other students. PLUS she is taking lessons also from another teacher(s) and they may be actually expounding on basics with techniques, etc. to make the basics stronger)

Like for instance.
DGD: basic box step over and over

Teacher: does not say anything

DGD: does basic box step over and over

Teacher:still says nothing

When it should be:
DGD: basic box step over and over

Teacher: OK you rise on the, lower on the... (waltz toe, heel, toe, toe heel, heel, toe, toe, toe, heel - or what have you) ... this much sway, head position, blah blah blah ...

DGD: same basic box step, improving on with compression or lowering on standing leg swing sway blah blah ...

Teacher: either works on same or adds component to get DGD to make the basic better.

I sorta feel like she is being slammed on whether she should judge if he is good or not. Ergo WHY (from my take on her posts) she is asking the question.

[dancingirldancing]

DGD: basic box step over and over

Teacher: does not say anything

DGD: does basic box step over and over

Teacher:still says nothing



Sounds like my lesson except sometimes he says 'Again'.

[elisedance]

I really think communication has broken down and also that you've already decided - try someone else....

[fascination]

Well, he is skilled alright .... just because someone knows something does not mean that he may want to share it with you ?

Oh GOD of dancing on the other hand is a whole different level IMHO.

Not sure about that....
again...you should be able to tell if he is withholding technical stuff, not just steps, or not...if you can't tell...you might not be where you think you are

[fascination]

Okay I dont want to start an argument.

Let's assume:

Me --> Crap beginner level dancer with no talent asking too much
Him --> Excellent teacher

Basic Point --> He made me miserable, dancing is supposedly making me happy

Conclusion --> Will find another teacher who will take crappy dancer like me and treat me with a little bit more respect

That is it.

I will call him today actually.

Thanks for the feedback.
no one knows what your skill is...crappy or not....but sometimes, to get from crappy to good, some short -term happiness has to be sacrificed...not sure how he treated you ...but you are right ...it is your decision...folks here just tried to provide input that you solicited...certainly you are entitled to assess the situation and make a switch

[fascination]

I really think communication has broken down and also that you've already decided - try someone else....
agree about the communication with the caveat that both persons are responsible for communication so DGD needs to make sure that she is not part of that break-down...or the process will repeat

[elisedance]

Absolutely F. That is surely a possibility - but if it is the case it will eventually become self-evident...

[Bella]

Chiming in to ease a bit of tension here, hopefully.

Problem --> I am not improving


Despite all the advantages of your pro, THIS is your answer. I know, I've been there... :)

Best of luck to you sweetie!!!

[fascination]

maybe...maybe not...I have seen alot of dancers drift from teacher to teacher and not improve b/c the problem wasn't the teacher...obviously, I don't know this dancer but it is a possibility...at a certain point learning slows if independent study isn't being done...

[Bella]

Well, considering I'm a better dancer now more than ever... I'd say it's worth a shot. You'll never know until you actually seek lessons with someone else. We can sit here and think "well maybe.. well maybe not.. or what if..." whatever, just do what YOU feel is right, dancingirl. :)

[fascination]

Mine surely would ... that is the other thing everytime I tell him what I want he actually try to talk me out of it and make me do what HE wants in a very manipulative and patronizing way.
here's the thing...if you have this low an opinion of him...just move on...

[Bella]

ps - Fasci I do agree with you :). It's not always the teacher, absolutely. But at the end of the day if your conclusion is "I'm not improving" the blame game becomes irrelevant. So, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

[fascination]

Well, considering I'm a better dancer now more than ever... I'd say it's worth a shot. You'll never know until you actually seek lessons with someone else. We can sit here and think "well maybe.. well maybe not.. or what if..." whatever, just do what YOU feel is right dancingirl. :)
sure that isn't up for debate...her first post wasn't whether or not she should punt him...but how...obviously she has no respect for the guy...and she may be right...but, one should always do a thorough soul search when a match goes afoul...in order to learn something

[fascination]

ps - Fasci I do agree with you :). It's not always the teacher, absolutely. But at the end of the day if your conclusion is "I'm not improving", DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
sure...but sometimes the answer is "practice more"...sometimes the answer is "stop sulking and ask questions and don't stop until they are answered"....all sorts of things...sometimes the answer is to move along...again, AFAIK, that was never up for debate

[fascination]

one certainly isn't going to hear me arguing that switching pros can't be a good thing...as it certainly has helped my dancing...but I also know my culpabilities...I also practice more now...I also know precisely what I am doing and why...and have always asked for that

[Bella]

one certainly isn't going to hear me arguing that switching pros can't be a good thing...as it certainly has helped my dancing...but I also know my culpabilities...I also practice more now...I also know precisely what I am doing and why...and have always asked for that

Right! :) And perhaps this is exactly the action dancingirl needs to take in order to discover this herself. :)

[fascination]

sure...except those things aren't about having a better pro...anyhow...she is doing what she is doing and I hope she opts with being candid about it ...and pleasant in spite of what seems to be considerable disregard for the man

[dlgodud]

I agree what most of folks saying here. I almost ended my teacher-student relationship recently. But, we talked through and decided to work as a team again. Sometimes we are too overwhelmed and our emotion makes us blind. I am not a talkative person so I don't usually talk during lessons. But, my teacher had a problem with that and it seemed that he had a hard time to approach me.
After all the drama, I have a conclusion. My teacher cares about me a lot, but I don't care about him that much. I just simply thought that as long as he teaches me fine it will be ok. I thought it in terms of business. But, like every other relationship we have, it's the same. It's not one way business, it is actually an interaction between two people. After you talking him what the problem is, it still does not improve that much, definitely you need to change the teacher because for the long shot I don't think it will do a good thing for you to take his lessons. But, if it works I suggest you to stick to him just a little while. Like you said if he is an excellent one, he has a lot of thinkg offer to you. Patience, patience, we all need to have in this journey.

[jennyisdancing]

I thought the OP has been quite candid in explaining the situation and in being willing to look at her own possible shortcomings as a dancer. Whether there are also personal issues with the teacher, none of us know that.

But she has clearly explained that her teacher, for whatever reason, is not providing her with any feedback; he just tells her to do the same step over and over without explaining how to improve. I would call that being a drill sergeant, perhaps - but not being a teacher. And if someone is paying for teaching, but not receiving that service, it sounds logical to end that relationship.

If it's a problem with communicating, I would agree to a point with dlgodud about interpersonal chemistries being a factor, but again, part of effective teaching is knowing how to communicate with the student in a way that the student understands and feels comfortable with. I have many friends and family who are professional teachers and they have said that to me.

[dlgodud]

I have one more thing in my mind. Is he speaking English fluently? I don't try to offend anybody here, but sometimes it is one of reason that students don't get information they need and poor explanation by teachers as well.

[fascination]

perhaps she isn't either....

[dlgodud]

perhaps she isn't either....

A good point.

[QPO]

Clear communication is the key to everything regardless of dancing or any other area of life.
On the basis of swapping teachers. You as the pupil are the paying customer, you can move where ever you want. As long as all sides are respectful and dont start gossip. Not good. There are plenty of different teaching styles, you need to find one that suits you.