Dealing with Frustration

[dancer_of_god]

How do you deal with that awful feeling you get when you are really hopeless? Not just in dancing, but in life? I know when I get frustrated, my eyes get really watery. I'm a bit of a perfectionist(that was a huge understatement) so when something isn't exactly right I get really mad.

[will35]

I go dancing, or I quit work and move far away.

[Sarah]

How do you deal with that awful feeling you get when you are really hopeless? Not just in dancing, but in life? I know when I get frustrated, my eyes get really watery. I'm a bit of a perfectionist(that was a huge understatement) so when something isn't exactly right I get really mad.

First of all I don't believe you are hopeless, except maybe temporarily, and that passes. Secondarily, you're Christian, right? I'm not, but as I understand it one of the main tenets and one of the best bits of just about all streams of Christianity is forgiveness, which is not easy to practice sometimes. But I reckon that even if its not easy, and even if you're angry with yourself, you could try explicitly forgiving yourself (as though you were a separate person) for not being perfect all the time. Then you can put all your energy towards getting it right the next time. :)

Cheers
Sarah

[pygmalion]

Good points Sarah. From a Christian perspective, think about the apostle Peter, who betrayed Christ, but who went on to become a mainstay of the early Christian congregation. Forgiveness. Or, if you're Jewish, think about Job, whose entire life was in shambles but who persevered and came out victorious, through his faith. Things look dark, perhaps, but there's no need for despair. Things DO get better. :D (Sorry, Muslims, Hindus, Shintoists,Taoists, agnostics, atheists and others out there. I'm still learning. :oops: :cry:

[Swing Kitten]

thisis a little close to home at the moment... I'll have to get back to you

[Vin]

I find something inspiring to read. Depending on what it is that is getting me upset I find some book that has a you can do it attitude.

[Sagitta]

Life is never "completely hopeless". If dancing is not going well, then there is cooking....if I am injured, cannot cook, cannot dance, cannot workout, have to sit in an awkward position, and ...(happened a year or so ago when I got into a nasty bicycle accident) there are people whom I know who value me...a friend, perhaps, and if you have no friend....then parents...I find that if there is something positive in my life that I can get satisfaction from then that's all I need to know it's not "completely hopeless".

What also has helped me is realizing that even a "bad/ frustrating" situation is valuable. From suffering one learns to empathize with those that suffer, and it makes the good times so much better/sweeter.

Also even though I am feeling frustrated/angry/depressed at a particular time I know that this will pass as so many other things have done....It happens often enough and you eventually start believing it!

Then there is faith...

[Vince A]

But life can always be hopeful!

Think of your frustrations/depression/anger versus when everything was "right."

Now think of yourself juggling balls . . . the balls in your hands are your bad (down) times and the balls in the air are your good (up) times. We all have down times, and we all have up times. Learning to juggle these times will help to keep you sane . . . learning to juggle while sitting around feeling frustrated/depressed/angered will get your mind off of those things.

To learn to juggle, begin with three tissues . . . they float very slowly!!!

[Spitfire]

Take a time out from it all. :)

[dancersdreamland]

A few weeks ago I was experiencing and pretty bad case of hopelessness and wanting to find my life's purpose. I looked to my faith, prayer, family, friends, DF family, and personal reflection to pull me through.

I too am a perfectionist, and we have to realize that as long as we try our best, even if it comes out wrong, all that counts is that we tried. The effort is just as, if not more, important than the end result.

I agree with Sarah...you just have to find the courage and strength to forgive yourself and others. It makes all the difference.

You may also want to try changing your wardrobe colors...I firmly believe this makes a difference. Try wearing yellow, orange, white...anything brightly colored. It will tend to affect your mood into a positive, active state. If you are feeling stressed, anxious or perplexed, try wearing blues and purples. For the time being, avoide black and grey which can be rather drab. Red may invoke anger, but if you feel passionate and strong, then red may be a good color.

Exercise as well is a good way to kick a mood...exercise releases endorphines which make you happy.

I send big hugs your way and I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. If you want to chat or talk anything through, please feel free to send me a private message at anytime.

[dancersdreamland]

May I also add this bit of advice you passed along to me not so long ago:

...take the time to live your life in the way u see fit and don't allow yourself to be judged by those who would put you down... "For blessed are they that are lost, in search of belonging."

You should also not allow yourself to judge yourself and bring you down.

[dancer_of_god]

May I also add this bit of advice you passed along to me not so long ago:

...take the time to live your life in the way u see fit and don't allow yourself to be judged by those who would put you down... "For blessed are they that are lost, in search of belonging."

You should also not allow yourself to judge yourself and bring you down.

Oh my gosh- thanks so much. I had forgotten to listen to myself, again.

You guys are so great here. I love being able to come to a place where I don't have to be on time, don't have homework due, and can just be my sarcastic, teenage self.

You have no idea how much that just lifted me up today. I thank you most greatfully, and rejoice in the fact that you are a wonderful gift that God has given me, so that I might be helped.

Also, everyone is right in saying that no one is totally helpless. But, do you mean helpless as in you can't be helped, or as in you are unable to help others. Just a thought.

[Sagitta]

Both!!! :) Take a simple smile. You smile at someone and you make a difference, you help make someone's day better. Someone gives you a genuine smile as if they are happy to see you, you feel better.

Too often we go through our lives rushing from one thing to another. In our Western American culture the clock rules our world and we rush to make sure that we keep to what we perceive as it's demanding beat. In our society we are defined by things -- what we wear, what we eat, the car we drive -- the impersonal defines us -- it's!!!!!! How often do we rush through the cash register at the grocery store, not bothering to see the cashier as a person? How often do we go to a fast food place, our eyes glued to the menu as we rattle off what we want, then pass the money to the person at the counter? A few seconds later we have our number, our change and move on. Consider what a difference we could make if we made eye contact with the fast food person at the counter, said hi with a genuine smile, glad to see him/her and know that this person is one of those who will be helping you satisfy your hunger/cravings...etc

It's all about attitude!!

[borikensalsero]

SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NOTHING WORKS TODAY!!! NOTHING!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

now that's better!!!!

[SDsalsaguy]

"Funny" you resurected this thread today Boriken... I've been walking around today wondering what would happen if I got hit by a car... (A) I wouldn't have to deal with everything anymore, or (B) I'd at least end up with enough $ to pay off all my skyrocketing debts...

[ShyDancer]

If something is not going well I ignore it and channel my energy elsewhere.
There is nothing worse than trying to do something that only frustrates me further. I go back to whatever it was that was making me angry once I have clamed down and realised that it really isnt so bad :D

[danceguy]

SD and Boriken,

I don't want to hear anymore of that talk out of you two! Cheer up guys! I'm in the same boat a lot and it just doesn't bode well to kick yourself more when you are a bit down!

And with that, I'm out to go Salsa dancing...got my dancin' shoes on, fresh shave, and my very cool dress shirt with little fishies' on it! I have a feeling this will be a late night...last time I went to this club I got home at 3 am...:shock:

I'll be dancing a few for the two of you...so please feel better! :P

Best,

ScorpionGuy

[salsachinita]

"Funny" you resurected this thread today Boriken... I've been walking around today wondering what would happen if I got hit by a car... (A) I wouldn't have to deal with everything anymore, or (B) I'd at least end up with enough $ to pay off all my skyrocketing debts...

Ok, there's something wrong with this plan here, SD!

You won't be able to DANCE after that (at least for sometime) :shock: ! We can't possibly have that now, can we :wink: .....?

*I'm feeling a bit like that too......now where's that Genie when we need him :roll: .....?*

[SDsalsaguy]

True... but, if outcome (A), I wouldn't really care, now would I?

[salsachinita]

True... but, if outcome (A), I wouldn't really care, now would I?

SD.......... :nope:

[Genesius Redux]

SD-

Here's the thing--you have student loans, right? So rack up as much credit card debt as you can, then get a very low-paying job, and use the student loans to Chapter 7 it. Take out a couple of bonds from a bank, pay them back, you rebuild and you're better than ever.

Thing about skyrocketing debts--think the way rich people think. It's a business....

I'm only half kidding. It's better than walking out into traffic.

What do I do when I'm depressed. I walk around Centennial Park late at night with a cigar daring anyone to try and mug me. :D

[johnnywalker]

One of my main interests is military history (no, i'm not a war-monger). Owning and reading so many books on the subject I only have to recall something i've read about the treatment of POWs by their captors, or of civilians displaced, of hardships by people at home due to food shortages and the like; the list goes on. Then there are the millions globally living in poverty and hardships, on poor incomes, under dictatorships etc.
Also, I have a friend who is an inspiration. We grew up together and for many years he used to ride his bicycle without brakes. His parents bought him a new 10-speed 'racer.' After several weeks he had an accident which resulted in him being a paraplegic. However, I never once saw him feel sorry for himself. He was always one of the most positive guys prior to the accident and still one of the most positive guys after the accident.

So if ever I feel negative I rebuke myself; I don't think I have the right to complain when I have a wife, work, a home, a car and all other trappings of a decent lifestyle.

Oh, who am I kidding. I have an abundant supply of Scotch which always goes down smoothly. :D