Grinding and other Hip-Hop dances

[Coskie]

Hello everyone,

First off, I'd like to say that I'm new both on this forum and on dancing in general. I really don't like to dance, but I think that this is because I'm not very good at it. So a couple days ago, I went to my first big party. I'm a freshman in college and this particular party was a Fraternity event. Everyone was going great, I was talking with my friends, but then a female asked me to dance. The music that was being played was hip-hop and the style of dance was "grinding" in particular. I accepted the invitation, but felt totally out of place when we started.

I have a few questions regarding this style of dance. First and foremost, what is the objective? What I assumed it was, was to follow the motion of the female with the hips. This left the question of where did the hands go? I didn't want to be obtrusive, so I left them between the shoulders and the hips, although I did notice many males putting them low on the hips. Most of my questions are on etiquette, really. What is acceptable, and recommended, and what is not?

Thank you all for any advice!

[Backstreet]

Grinding is not hip-hop. Personally, I don't even consider it a form of dance. (Just sex on the dance floor) -- I have nothing against grinding and I have done it before. Hip-hop is waving, gliding, popping and locking, boogaloo, tutting, botting, dimestopping, list goes on and on :)

Unfortunately, with grinding there is no right or wrong answer. Unlike a formal partner dance like Salsa, Cha-Cha, Swing, etc, there isn't a signified dance position. In other words, your hands can go anywhere where you and your partner both feel comfortable.

The objective? Like I said earlier in my post grinding is derived as a form of sex with clothes on. Move smoothly and as one entity if that makes sense.

Edit: I should note it is more of a swaying of the hips rather then a thrust.

[Lucretia]

I sometimes wonder if there is any etiquette about when and how to grind. If I go to a salsaparty and is invited for a dance and the music is salsa/batchata or merengue - I espect a "true dance" - not sex with clothes on.

How is one supposed to act if you find this annoying?
Leave the floor?
Endure trying to protect some secret parts?
Slap the face of the guy/girl ?


/luc

[Shooshoo]

Slap, slap, slap...:raisebro:

I think it's very simple. The thing that that personal space differs from one person to another, so there could be misuderstandings. Each individual has a preference to how close, with whom, etc.. So if one's not comfortable you can just physically resist to keep away (OR slap) and if they don't understand, just say I don't feel comfortable (OR slap). It usually stops there. I don' think it's necessary to leave the dance floor unless someone forces himself/herself on you (which doesn't happen that often), or if someone has had too much to drink which I personally haven't seen in salsa clubs.

[Shooshoo]

Sorry, Coskie I just realized that I didn't answer you question.

[Lucretia]

First and foremost, what is the objective?
I have wondered that a lot myself. What is the objective?
Anonymous sex with clothes on? Or a sexual dance thrill?

If it is the latter there must be some chemicals involved - like attraction.
Or there must be som thrill in the dancing itself. Some people become very beautiful and attractive while dancing even if I dont consider them beeing so off the dance floor.

In two cases I have been invited for a dance by strangers who have no interest at all in dancing. They just show me how to satisfy their needs. One even started to kiss my neck after just a few seconds. I did endure trying to protect myself. But I guess next time it happens I will get mad about it.

(There is something completety different when I dance with people who really are dancers. When they grab me and becom "intime" for a few seconds in the dance it's OK. That is not what I call grinding. That is not sexual - that is sensual :))


/luc