Random (but frequent) thought.....hmmmmmm

[Puss'nBoots]

Things that make you go hmmmmm.....

(this has baffled me for years!!)

Why is it, when I am out driving around, where ever I may be going, that the opposite sex (men for me) find it okay to stare and flirt when there is a good-looking person, going the opposite way of travel then they are..... and just keep on going? I see the best looking Men when I am driving and they are looking as well....but we are going the opposite way! I do not understand this. Think about it....if we were in a store, walking, or anywhere else other then driving, they would not "rubber-neck" or flirt the way they do when our glances meet for a few seconds.... WHY dont men have that same courage in any other circumstance other then driving? Please tell me!
Also.....I think that everyone should know the "Brake tap light flirt".... you see a good looking person pass you, and you have both swaped glances....after they go by, you would like to meet them, and you tap lightly on your brake twice, they tap back and someone turns around, and taa-dah....you meet. I think this should be added to the Drivers license tests. I have only meet a hand-ful of people who know this rule.... Hmmmmmmmm.......Just a thought.

[pygmalion]

Hey Puss'n Boots! :D Glad to see you back! :D

I hate to admit it, but I'm a car flirter. I look, double take if the guy's cute, and just keep going. What can I say? I like the anonymity of it all. For some reason, that's a lot safeer than double takes in the supermarket or worse, yet, in a nightclub. :shock: Then you definitely have to play it cool, because of the possibility of rejection. In their respective cars, everybody's safe. *shrug* Sad, but true.

[Swing Kitten]

This is a new and interesting concept for me!!

[jon]

WHY dont men have that same courage in any other circumstance other then driving? Please tell me!

Because no courage is required when driving, of course.

[Sagitta]

WHY dont men have that same courage in any other circumstance other then driving? Please tell me!

Because no courage is required when driving, of course.

And of course during these days of woman's lib half the time it is because women don't have the courage to encourage the courageous gallant men who know that nowadays half the time women want to have their turn. Poor men who never know when it is supposed to be their turn and when it's the lady's!! :(

[SDsalsaguy]

Poor men who never know when it is supposed to be their turn and when it's the lady's!! :(
Just one more of the great things about partner dancing, isn't it? :wink:

[jon]

Just one more of the great things about partner dancing, isn't it?

Structure and rules are great for engineers, explains I think why so many of us get into social dancing. But unfortunately the rules don't extend off the dance floor to relationships lasting longer than 3 minutes (ref my comment in another thread about ballroom/swing dancing being in reality a very poor way to find dates).

[Sagitta]

I don't think that necessarrily applies Jon. See my response to that social dancing thread also...

If you are into dancing to find dates.... [caveat I don't dance to date, and don't want this to be taken as an indication that I am hunting on the dance floor............but from my random experiences of meeting people and clicking with them I guess I could put together the scenario for the active seeker of dates...]

Hey the 3 minutes can get you somewhere!!! You start dancing and you find out the person's name, compliment her on something [Has to be truthful of course]. Then after the dance escort the lady off the dance floor, back to her place and you can almost just sit down too as well. If you have had a good time dancing you are more then half way there as you both have enjoyed doing something in common, albeit even if only for a short while. A lot better then trying to flirt with someone at a bar. Hey you can also do plenty friendly flirting as part of dancing the 3 minute dance as well...of course if it's being taken the wrong way the leader adjusts here...

Now of if dancing is the only thing that worked for you too, you are "dead in the water"!!!

I'm in a talkative mood tonight/today morning. It's 3:00 a.m. here. :)

[SDsalsaguy]

I'm in a talkative mood tonight/today morning. It's 3:00 a.m. here. :)
So you've posted in the IRU too, right? :wink:

[jon]

You start dancing and you find out the person's name, compliment her on something [Has to be truthful of course]. Then after the dance escort the lady off the dance floor, back to her place and you can almost just sit down too as well.

I'd say a typical experience around here is closer to: start dancing and mishear each other's names because the music is too loud to communicate without yelling in each other's ears. After the dance thank my partner quickly, since there are already other people asking her to dance. Conversation while sitting out? See previous volume comment.

Before moving here I lived in the Research Triangle, where the demographics were more balanced and where there was a strong tradition of dancers socializing in groups outside the dance context. Doesn't really happen here, alas. At least among WCS and ballroom dancers. The Lindy dancers sound like they may have a bit more of a community feel to their local scene.

[dancer_of_god]

Not that I'd know much about this (considering I'm only 14 and can't drive) but I also think that rejection is one of our greatest fears. We believe, that no matter what anybody says, we will be rejected, laughed at and embaressed. This may or may not be more true for guys my age, them being the egotistical maniacs that they are.

There is this christian boy that I know, and he is a little creepy. He's asked out 10 girls in the last 3 years, only 2 of them have said yes, and neither relationship has lasted more then a month.
Now, something should be said for his courageous acts of dating. (or maybe he's just totally clueless as to why nobody really likes him-who knows.) So, please, lets have a moment of silence for the guy who isn't afraid to be turned down........................................thank you.

[Sagitta]

Not that I'd know much about this (considering I'm only 14 and can't drive) but I also think that rejection is one of our greatest fears. We believe, that no matter what anybody says, we will be rejected, laughed at and embaressed. This may or may not be more true for guys my age, them being the egotistical maniacs that they are.

Age is not that important in certain respects! Driving has nothing to do with it, either. I know some adults my age who are at the emotional maturity level of 9 year olds!!! :) And those guys who profess a tough exterior facade are probably not so tough inside. They have feelings, just like you and me.

We fear rejection when we consider that a "no" is an appraisal of our self-worth. It's tough in the world that we live in not to always look for reaffirmation of what we see ourselves as in others opinions/actions towards us. Here is where I would say faith can play a major role for those who are Catholics, Muslims, Budhists, Hindus...

A "no" for a dance is simply that, a lack of desire that one person has to dance with you. A "no" for a date simply means that this one person does not want to spend some time with you later doing whatever you suggested.

[danceguy]

Also.....I think that everyone should know the "Brake tap light flirt".... you see a good looking person pass you, and you have both swaped glances....after they go by, you would like to meet them, and you tap lightly on your brake twice, they tap back and someone turns around, and taa-dah....you meet. I think this should be added to the Drivers license tests. I have only meet a hand-ful of people who know this rule.... Hmmmmmmmm.......Just a thought.

Hmm, car flirting...I think a lot of the good ol fashioned courtship rituals of yore are less practiced as it could lead to some people getting arrested or suspected of stalking. :shock:

I have never been a car flirter...and anyone who does it to me is generally ignored. I still say a troupe of naked models could walk by me and I wouldn't bat an eyelash! I may pay a woman an admiring glance, but the more they appear to want men to see them, the less I am inclined to look. Some I ignore completely, and I have to be honest, I think its really funny when they get annoyed!

There seems to be a fine line for admiring someone you see as attractive. Not enough, you could offend them. Too much, you're oggling and suddenly a pervert. But finding that middle ground can be oh so tough!

Then again, somedays I make a point to smile and say hi to complete strangers...but most of the time when I'm ignoring people, I'm still smiling. I just am not into the flirting thing...despite my silly antics here...in real life...its not my cup of tea. :roll:

SG

[pygmalion]

Oh come on SG. Naked models? I find it hard to believe. :roll: :lol: Hmm. I was car flirting again today. I rarely initiate, but almost always reciprocate, at least if the other flirter is a cutie! :roll: :wink: Why deprive oneself of the innocent enjoyment?

[dancergal]

Car flirting is just that. It a quick moment in time that you can say "you're a cutie" and not have any strings that might be attached to it, like in a face to face flirt. Maybe it's just a chance to smile at someone and be on your way still smiling. I don't look around alot when I'm driving, but everyone once in awhile someone tries to catch my attention at a light or something. I mostly think it's cute as long as they don't try to follow me home. :D

[jon]

Car flirting is just that. It a quick moment in time that you can say "you're a cutie" and not have any strings that might be attached to it, like in a face to face flirt.

Along the same lines, occasionally I'll take a book or other purchase to be rung up, and admire, say, the unusual hairstyle of the cashier. No interest in making her wary of a weird customer, though, so I hold the verbal compliment until after paying, when I'm about to walk away.