Shy dancers

[Vin]

I was reading through the how you got started dancing thread and I noticed that alot of people categorized themselves as shy before they started dancing.
I would actually say not only was I shy before I started dancing but even now when I am not dancing I tend to be a bit shy in social situations. I have noticed many other dancers I know are also quite shy.
I am curious then, would you say you were shy before you started dancing.
Would you say you are still quite shy in social situations where dancing is not involved.

[DanceMentor]

I'm not sure what changed my shyness level: experience, dancing, Dale Carnegie books or toastmasters, probably a combination of several things.

[Sagitta]

Shy!?!!

I don't think that I ever mentioned this as a motivation for starting dancing, but I'm not a very talkative person.

[Dancing does put you in situations where there is quite a bit of talking. Happens a lot especially when you are a beginner and the experienced follows get bored and start chatting with you. :oops: If you were struggling before it gets even worse as now you're trying to do two things simultaneously!! :oops: :) Right now if that just happens I just stick In dancing you do have to be aware of what your partner is doing on multiple levels to dance well, also.]

Anyway, I still don't think that I'm a talkative person in social situations outside dancing. Dancing probably has helped me a bit as I have met a wider variety of people then perhaps I might have otherwise... I'm definitely more comfortable in entering a room full of strangers. :)

[d nice]

Dancing is about artistic expression... the more adept you get at it, the more comfortable you will get about exposing yourself (in a good way :!: ) on the floor. All change must start from within. This comfortableness on the dance floor will extend to the dance club/ballroom when you aren't actually dancing. This will extend to outside of the studio/club when you are with your dance friends, and eventually you will be able to look back on your shyness as a thing remembered, not a thing of the present.

[Swing Kitten]

I think that dancing helps with shyness more than other form of artistic expression. Ceramics does not have the mandatory social aspect as dancing does. Even some performance based artistic expression may allow for shyness-- like when you are no longer doing what has been rehearsed... around those you already know (co-performers) the security may go away and the shyness comes back.

Dancing is 'interact with this stranger' now 'interact with this stranger' eventually leading to 'now that wasn't so bad was it?' I'd say in this regard dancing is unique.

[salsachinita]

Shyness can often be over-come by gaining confidence.

Social dancing as an expressive artform is a great way to gain confidence (eventhough one might experience lots of confrontations of various sorts on the way to gain this confidence).

I guess I was never a 'shy' person, but I DID (and still do in someways) lack confidence in many ways.

Being able to dance in itself was an enormous confidence boost! 8)
(Wouldn't you guys agree....?)

[salsachinita]

Swing Kitten, LOVE your signiture :D !
ROAR on.......!

[dancergal]

I used to be very shy and dancing did give me the confidence to be more outgoing. But again, when I'm around strangers I'm not very talkative. When I am among friends, I'm pretty vocal and can even be a bit....ah...loud... :shock:

[Swing Kitten]

I think there is something to be said for just not being talkative. It's okay to not talk if you don't have anyhting to say-- although so many people don't let that stop them! :lol: I only see it as a problem if you want to say something and you don't out of fear of not being accepted, sounding like an idiot or whatever. There is a difference.

[Sagitta]

Totally agree with you Swingkitty....
:)

[pygmalion]

I have never been shy, but I am pretty formal and sometimes reserved. I feel that dancing is helping me to "come out" -- to do what d nice referred to, and expose the real me on the dance floor more and more. Not just the polite facade, but the real Jenn. Make sense?

[Swing Kitten]

yes... of course it makes sense that artistic expression is revealing. How could it not and still be expression?

[danceguy]

Dancing has certainly helped me with being shy. However, I tend to have two facets to my personality...and no I'm not a multiple personality type but I tend to be either so quiet that people hardly notice my presence, or I never shut up and talk people's ears off. I've also noticed that some people I know who are very outgoing in small groups will become wallflowers at large social gatherings...the same places where I sometimes transform into a social butterfly. 8)

I think my years as a musician are responsible for that. At times I performed on stage in front of hundreds of people...other times in parades or at sports games in front of thousands. Much like an actor, I would go into "performance mode" and suddenly be completely comfortable in front of a huge crowd of people.

Just getting over the fear of asking women to dance helps so much, in class, at dances and in life in general. I've found that my confidence has really gone up, I'm a lot more talkative with strangers and some of my friends recently commented how outgoing I am in social settings these days.

It reminds me of a time I was at a outdoor Salsa show and was doing the basic with a lady who didn't dance at all. She kept getting nervous of the people who were watching and I said to her "half the battle is getting up here, and remember they are just watching and not participating. Just imagine all of them are in their underwear!"

Of course this can backfire if the onlookers happen to be either really attractive or really unattractive. :oops:

SG

[Vin]

I think I relate most to your situation scorpionguy. In small groups I am fine but at large parties I tend to chill with the people I already know. Until the dance music comes on, then it's as if I become another person.
However still, this "dancing persona" has not rubbed off much in my everyday life, except with those people that know me primarily through dancing.

[salsachinita]

I think I relate most to your situation scorpionguy. In small groups I am fine but at large parties I tend to chill with the people I already know. Until the dance music comes on, then it's as if I become another person.
However still, this "dancing persona" has not rubbed off much in my everyday life, except with those people that know me primarily through dancing.

This 'dancing persona' has rubbed off a lot in my everyday life, I have recently created another persona to help me with my work :wink: !

But I am not really a large group person (coz in most cases you can't talk to more than a handful at a time!) unless I am in 'ham' mode :lol: !

[Swing Kitten]

I have always done better in small group/ one on one social interactions. Dancing has notably helped me with large unfamiliar groups. This has been very good for me and I can't think of a better way to grow in this area. I have a pretty small social base at the dances I attend which forces me (and has forced) to step out of my shell and risk interaction with strangers. The mere fact that I saw it as a risk speaks of the situation. Now it's not an issue for the most part and I have become notably more comfortable in my own skin and confident in many aspects of my life.

I've met some really wonderful people to boot!!

[salsachinita]

I've met some really wonderful people to boot!!

Yep. Including our DF family here :notworth:!

[Swing Kitten]

YAY!!!

[NeoDevin]

I wasn't overly shy before I started dancing, except at dances. I would never ask anyone to dance or dance with anyone, even at clubs. Since I started dancing, when I go out to a club I get lots of attention from the ladies, and am able to reciprocate. :wink: