Should I compliment a girl on her assets the frist time I meet her?I wanna grind too.

[sunny_2907]

dont resent,but i had to make another thread for this -

dam, u guys want to control ur hard-ons??? i wish to express my sexual feelings towards somebody, im thinking of avoiding any underwear and planning a huge hard-on while grinding.

at a party yesterday, i met this chic with a really hot body(beautiful breasts and fine bum), but looked okay, i didnt talk much to her or anything, but just went up to her and confessed to her that she was really really hot. i had a strong hard-on at tht time hehe, it didnt show bcoz i had my shirt tucked out.she smiled and said thank u, and nothing else happend.i bumped into her later but we just smiled didnt exchange words.
she was dancing freestyle on the floor with a group,i couldnt let her go, so i walked nearby her and handed her a chit on what i wrote-
"Im impressed, I'd lve to go dancing with you"signed off with my name and number, she smiled back at me after reading it, n i smiled back.

i think she is surely going to call me. gnna ask her on a date.
she may be the kind to dance freestyle, but grinding i dont know, she might be a little reserved i cant say. though i want it bad. i need to know if i shud grind with her or not even though i dont know her at all.

im planning to make her feel my hard-on while grinding. Dont feel like wearing any underwear too.She's got such big and beautiful breasts,with a 25"waist, I wanna compliment her on her beautiful breasts(36dd maybe) and bum.
Should I do it?? or not??? If yes, then how and what should I tell her?? any suggestions?

I just plan on doing this to flirt, dont want to sleep with her nor have any future relationship.Just some sexual flirting thats all.thats where it stops.

[Shooshoo]

:eyebrow: weren't you just complaining about your girlfriend grinding with other guys :rolleyes: ??????

:mad: :mad:

[Shooshoo]

:eyebrow:


weren't you just complaining about your girlfriend grinding with other guys?!

:mad: :mad:

[sunny_2907]

i really love my girlfriend u know. but just thought of a way to get over what she is doing even though she knows im affected by it. she isnt going to change what she likes doing, so I just thought I could do it myself and care less if my she grinds with other men. I will tell her honestly after i do it. I still love her a lot. She loves me too, I believe in her.
Guys Im still thinking if I shud do this grinding thing with another girl.I might even feel sick after doing it with another girl, tht I would feel only at tht time.

But please give me ur suggestions on what i had asked for.

[nikita]

Sunny-
you're playin with the fire:doh:

[Twilight_Elena]

I think that, since you're in such an open relationship with your girlfriend that you consider flirting with other people okay, then she should be aware of your plans beforehand. "Hey, I'm gonna go dancing with this girl I met, nothing serious just some sexy dancing and grinding." Sounds like the thing to do to me.
Oh. And if I was in that girl's shoes I think that your complimenting on my "assets" and doing all this scene about you being hard and turned on... well, it means sex. And if I allowed it it would mean I wanted sex. And I'd say that you want sex too. Which is sorta weird IMO because you're with someone, but if you do want to have sex with her (sounds like it) and are so relaxed about it maybe you should let your girlfriend know? If you're both so open to such things as you let us on maybe she will allow it. But if she goes grinding with some guy that's not wearing underwear and is rubbing his hardon on her pelvis and gives her compliments about her assets... you shouldn't come back to us and say "Man, my girl is flirting with other guys! *** should I do?"

T_E

[AzureDreamer]

im planning to make her feel my hard-on while grinding. Dont feel like wearing any underwear too

uh... this strikes me as really creepy and wrong. Rubbing up against some girl like that is probably going to make her uncomfortable... and doesn't get you closer to sleeping with her, should you want to at a later time.

Should I do it?? or not??? If yes, then how and what should I tell her??

um, No. No, No, No. Absolutely Not.

Tell her how much fun she is, or how much you like being with her. Attractive women are always, always insecure about how much you actually like them... and are worried you only think of them as some art object rather than as a real person. You need to reassure her about things she is not as confident about.

any suggestions?

(a) Act the same way you would if you planned on sleeping with her. Maybe she's your soulmate, and you want to spend forever with her... Maybe you hit it off great together and its just a wild night. Maybe you decide not to go that far for your own reasons... but keep the option open.

(b) Make her comfortable with you. Every single thing you do should be meaured against that... does it make her more comfortable? or less? How will that make her feel? Its a real safe bet that she wants to sleep with someone... you want to make sure she's comfortable sleeping with -you-.

(c) Always stay in control. In particular, it always comes up that one person wants to escalate things, the other person slows things down. The one going faster has to submit to the slower one. Don't ever put yourself in a situation where she has to "slow you down". Chicks want dominant guys, they lose interest as soon as you start submitting or supplicating. Touch her, tease her... but never, ever rush her. If you start off by rubbing up against her its giving away your game... there is no way she isn't going to make you slow down, back off. She should be all over you before you do something like that... and you should make her wait for it until you choose to reward her.

i didnt talk much to her or anything

Fix that. Find out what she is like, what turns her on, what makes her feel good. Spend some time with her.

[Joe]

Lmfao!

[sunny_2907]

guys guys guys i really love my girlfriend and cant see her with another man. i wouldve never approached the hot babe if my gf didnt tell me that she was grinding with other men.in fact, i havent gone out nor know any other women ever since she was gone.My gf tells me tht she meets a lot of really hot guys and grinds with them. i feel like puking when i imagine tht.
but u guys are right, i shudnt do all tht sex stuff with th hotbabe, though i cud just grind not very sexually though.
if i go dancing with tht hot babe, i dont think she would know how to grind becoz she didnt look like the types to know.id still like to know the ways to make her grind with me. She looked a little conservative to do this form of dance.(but she seems horny as hell) She could probly dance with me freestyle but im just clueless how to get her to grind with me.suggestions???
any suggestions???? can i compliment her on her body as a whole?? how?

[sunny_2907]

i'll probably grind less sexually with the hot babe, and tell my gf about it later.will tell her later only, my gf would never tell me before what she would do. she told me tht she was grinding with men after ssome 4 months of her stay in london. lets see how she feels about me grinding with other women.

[Sagitta]

I really don't know what to say as there is so much to say. First we are dissed for wanting to behave a certain way and then we are asked how we would behave if we didn't want to act appropriately, IMO, like gentlemen and ladies?

Doing something to make your gf jealous shows immaturity. I will never give advice or encourage anyone to give advice to encourage immature behaviour. There is a big difference between doing what we call "grinding" and doing it "to get back at someone."

I say the first thing you should do is work out your relationship with your gf, rather then wanting to act shallow and petty. And one does not work it out by following your current plan of action.

[fascination]

dont resent,but i had to make another thread for this -

dam, u guys want to control ur hard-ons??? i wish to express my sexual feelings towards somebody, im thinking of avoiding any underwear and planning a huge hard-on while grinding.

at a party yesterday, i met this chic with a really hot body(beautiful breasts and fine bum), but looked okay, i didnt talk much to her or anything, but just went up to her and confessed to her that she was really really hot. i had a strong hard-on at tht time hehe, it didnt show bcoz i had my shirt tucked out.she smiled and said thank u, and nothing else happend.i bumped into her later but we just smiled didnt exchange words.
she was dancing freestyle on the floor with a group,i couldnt let her go, so i walked nearby her and handed her a chit on what i wrote-
"Im impressed, I'd lve to go dancing with you"signed off with my name and number, she smiled back at me after reading it, n i smiled back.

i think she is surely going to call me. gnna ask her on a date.
she may be the kind to dance freestyle, but grinding i dont know, she might be a little reserved i cant say. though i want it bad. i need to know if i shud grind with her or not even though i dont know her at all.

im planning to make her feel my hard-on while grinding. Dont feel like wearing any underwear too.She's got such big and beautiful breasts,with a 25"waist, I wanna compliment her on her beautiful breasts(36dd maybe) and bum.
Should I do it?? or not??? If yes, then how and what should I tell her?? any suggestions?

I just plan on doing this to flirt, dont want to sleep with her nor have any future relationship.Just some sexual flirting thats all.thats where it stops.I'm sorry...is this a porn site or a dance forum? I find the whole post to be offensive

[Peaches]

Thank you, Fascination! Thank you so much!

I don't consider myself a prude--quite to the opposite--but OMG that post made me sick.

[fascination]

and I believe I have established that I am not a prude(LOL)...I appreciate that folks have freedom around here to express themselves and I don't want to discourage that but I also felt inclined to share my view...which is that the entire interaction, much as Sagitta says, is so far a feild from appropriate as to be very problematic...and then beyond that...much of those details could have been toned down....again, just my opinion

[AzureDreamer]

lets see how she feels about me grinding with other women..

If it really bothers you for her to be grinding with guys, break off the relationship. (and it sounds like it does.)

can i compliment her on her body as a whole?? how?

No.

(What's the point? If she's hot, she knows that. She knows that you know that. and she's probably very insecure that guys are only interested in her physically. Complementing her on her body is probably going to reinforce the insecurity... bad.)

Tell her how much fun she is, or how comfortable you are with her and how you feel like you could share anything. You could tell her how much you love the way she was dancing, and how she seemed to really be into the music, how this is a really great band. If she tells you that she feels the same way... then all is good. if she doesn't... well, lot of other fish in the sea and all.

but talk to her. pay attention to what she is feeling. make her feel good.

[delamusica]

This whole thing sounds really petty and dumb. Doing anything - including grinding - just for the sake of revenge or making someone jealous is just immature, insecure, and asking for trouble. Sounds to me like the problem in your relationship isn't about grinding, it's about communication, respect, and maturity on the part of both you and your girlfriend.

And ditto Peaches and Fascination - there's no need to be so graphic about what you plan on doing with your . . . you know.

[amrimi]

Thank you, Fascination! Thank you so much!

I don't consider myself a prude--quite to the opposite--but OMG that post made me sick.

ditto

[saludas]

The sexual content doesn't bother me (life goes on folks, and this is the 'line' that is in the sand today - kids are more upfront and honest about their feelings and needs) but the prepubescent 'get back' attitude is very disturbing.

Let me make this comment - if doing something to hurt someone else is somehow justified in any way, then we have the makings of a real ethics issue.

You are NOT allowed to hurt someone else for any personal reason you have. Period. Just the same as a criminal goes to jail for hurting or worse - just because YOU feel wrongs is no reason to hurt. Terrorists and religious/political fanatics use this line of reasoning all the time (hey, they actually were blowing up abortion clinics in the name of religious righteousness) and it's wrong for them, too. "Killing for peace" is a JOKE not a reality.

Back to your much more mundane and self-serving 'problem' - you don't own or have any right to change anyone's feelings and actions. Your 'girlfriend' is more aware than you of that - and for you to not see that SHE has set the standard for your 'relationship' only shows your lack of insight and a gross insensitivity to what you consider your 'relationship'. If she feels one way and you feel another way, go on Springer and 'fight' about it, but in the REAL WORLD people must talk and discuss.

[Peaches]

Good point, Saludas.

I wasn't offended by the sexual content of the post, per se. After all, there have been plenty of thready about griding and arousal, as well as jealousy and other emotions that can come with dancing. The assumed young age of the poster didn't bother me much either.

But, as my mother said until she was blue in the face...it's not what you say, but how you say it. I accept that sexual discussion is more up front and frank, and that's fine. But what bothered me was how utterly disrespectful of women the post seemed (to me, IMHO). Aside from the disturbing revenge aspect, it bothered me that the poster seemed merely to regard both his girlfriend and this other girl as objects to satisfy himself.

Furthermore, as Fascination pointed out, the details were gratuitous. The same points could have been communicated just fine without the lurid discussion of her anatomy.

THAT's what made me sick.

[SPratt74]

guys guys guys i really love my girlfriend and cant see her with another man. i wouldve never approached the hot babe if my gf didnt tell me that she was grinding with other men.in fact, i havent gone out nor know any other women ever since she was gone.My gf tells me tht she meets a lot of really hot guys and grinds with them. i feel like puking when i imagine tht.
but u guys are right, i shudnt do all tht sex stuff with th hotbabe, though i cud just grind not very sexually though.
if i go dancing with tht hot babe, i dont think she would know how to grind becoz she didnt look like the types to know.id still like to know the ways to make her grind with me. She looked a little conservative to do this form of dance.(but she seems horny as hell) She could probly dance with me freestyle but im just clueless how to get her to grind with me.suggestions???
any suggestions???? can i compliment her on her body as a whole?? how?

I think that you need to read my post in your other thread about your girlfriend and grinding. I think that you are taking this way to seriously for the reasons that I had mentioned in your other thread and that you are only going to hurt yourself in the end. Mind you that your girlfriend isn't going to get hurt, but she will be pissed off and won't ever speak to you again, because what you are doing is far worse than what she is doing on the dance floor in my opinion!!!

[SPratt74]

This whole thing sounds really petty and dumb. Doing anything - including grinding - just for the sake of revenge or making someone jealous is just immature, insecure, and asking for trouble. Sounds to me like the problem in your relationship isn't about grinding, it's about communication, respect, and maturity on the part of both you and your girlfriend.

And ditto Peaches and Fascination - there's no need to be so graphic about what you plan on doing with your . . . you know.

I don't mean to double post, but I wanted to say that I seconded this opinion! After reading some of the posts, I would say that communication is the biggest issue right now with trust being the second biggest issue. My guess is that it's not the girl that has these issues, it's the main poster. The girl was at least upfront and honest about everything that she was doing while the guy seems to be quiet and hasn't told her about his flirting with other women the way that he does in my opinion!!! So the only one that is going to get hurt is the guy not the girl.

[AzureDreamer]

But what bothered me was how utterly disrespectful of women the post seemed (to me, IMHO). Aside from the disturbing revenge aspect, it bothered me that the poster seemed merely to regard both his girlfriend and this other girl as objects to satisfy himself.

yeah, initial post really bothered me too.

I 100% agree with the above, and as a somewhat secondary point:

(a) why don't you want to sleep with girl? (like, what's wrong with you?)

(b) You don't feel comfortable with something totally consensual like sleeping with her... but you want to do something totally UNconsensual like rubbing yourself on her while grinding?

that's like really wrong in so many ways. Ewww. Ewwwww. (shudder).


Sex is good. but you have to both be ready, willing and comfortable. and you seemed to have given no thought on making her comfortable at all.

Fantasies are ok and all, but make sure they just remain fantasies. and don't go posting them on public forums.

and ditch your girlfriend, and go after this other girl with a clear conscience.

and spend a lot more time thinking about how she feels, and how to make her comfortable.

----
(and OMG, you gave her your phone number, and didn't get hers? Bad. Really Bad. If a girl calls you she is never going to respect you. Ever. That's like game over, proceed directly to 'lets just be friends', do not pass second base. Maybe she won't call, and you see her at a club again, and you can get her number this time and salvage things. Thats like the BEST you can hope for. If she does call, just tell her you can't talk right now, and ask if you can call her back... that's a really bad start though; hard to ever recover from that.)

[leftfeetnyc]

"compliment her on her assets"... um, how about no. Never. Tell a girl she's beautiful, sure. Directly imply her "assets" that just screams creepy.

And rubbing yourself against her while dancing so she can purposefully feel "you" is not a compliment, it's molestation.

[SPratt74]

"compliment her on her assets"... um, how about no. Never. Tell a girl she's beautiful, sure. Directly imply her "assets" that just screams creepy.

And rubbing yourself against her while dancing so she can purposefully feel "you" is not a compliment, it's molestation.

I wouldn't call it molestation, but it's more like sexual harassment if she were to press charges on him.

[leftfeetnyc]

Molestation is the "the act of subjecting someone to unwanted or improper sexual advances or activity (especially women or children)"

Sexual harrassment is verbal.

So it's a better bet NOT to engage in the activity. I'm fine with grinding as a dance form, it's when some guy assumes dancing with him means he can rub up against me. There seems to be the believe by the original poster that grinding = feeling up/sexual contact which isn't always the case -- there's a difference between grinding to dance with someone and grinding for sexual gratification which the original poster seems to think is the only purpose of grinding.

[pygmalion]

These threads are blowing my mind. :?

[nikita]

Sunny-
honestly- I think you should break up with your gf- cos you don't deserve each other.
Go and have some fun with your hb.

[amrimi]

Molestation is the "the act of subjecting someone to unwanted or improper sexual advances or activity (especially women or children)"

Sexual harrassment is verbal.



I was wondering if these two words mean different things in British and American english.

Once i told an english friend about a small incident that happend to me (using the word harrassment) and her reaction was as if I had just told her that i had been raped. Just wondering about the meaning of those words I always thought that that molestation was the stronger word like in your explanation.

[pygmalion]

The word harassment has a lot of legal implications, at least in the US, these days. That might be why your friend reacted so strongly. *shrug*

[SPratt74]

The word harassment has a lot of legal implications, at least in the US, these days. That might be why your friend reacted so strongly. *shrug*

Yes because sexual harassment can also be physical as well. I've known many people (mainly men) that have been fired or warned from their employers because of putting their hands on a woman the wrong way etc. (even a simple pat on the back can give a wrong meaning). It's not just verbal in other words.

Here's a web site that gives the definition if anyone doesn't believe me.
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&defl=en&q=define:Sexual+Harassment&sa=X&oi=glossary_definition&ct=title

[sunny_2907]

guys this thread is going nutts.some mixed reactions.
though all of u have expressed pretty much what ive thought about myself. this is a forum and i had thoughts about these crazy sexual feelings on the dance floor with no frills attached, so i felt the need to take ur suggestions on how i shud go about it.i felt the neeed to confess to u'll, ppl i didnt know and about what was on my mind, which guys sometimes have(lets face it guys). im just being honest about myself.

first of all, i felt sick thinking tht i was just using tht hotbabe as an object.i felt sick later tht i was considering dancing sexually with a random chic just to get back at my gf. things havent progressed after i gave her my number, nor do i wish for any.u guys really think im a despo, but i just wrote what was on my mind what i had planned on the dance floor. if i had sick intentions i wouldnt think of even posting it here and would have gone ahead with the disaster.

my beautiful girlfriend is not an object for me. shes my heart and her love is oxygen for me.

[sunny_2907]

u guys have opened my eyes. i really had to gather my thoughts about everything i had with her.
u'll will be glad to know this- i spoke to her at length and confessed to her about how i felt about her grinding.i really love her a lot.
u'll were right about the london scene.theres so much of sex and drugs happening at the london club scene that u cant even imagine what could happen.we're both from india, where life is a bit conservative, and to imagine her in an enviornment with so much of drugs, half naked women grinding with random men or women, one night stands..whtevr freakshows u can think of. just imagining my girlfriend in such an environment stress me out. she would never dress up scantily in india, couldnt even imagine doing it here, but in london she tells me what scanty clothing she wears when she goes to clubs, its hard to imagine her dress in such a way in tht kinda environment.shes a really pretty girl and there are tons of guys hitting on her, trying to convince her to consume drugs and then expecting her to sleep with them. she has pretty much refused all tht, shes been honest with me about it.i trust her a lot but dont trust the guys around her.guys can do unimaginative things, it freaks me out just imagining anything.

today in the morning, when i spoke to her for an hour, i weeped( embarassed to say :() with her on the phone.i told her tht i couldnt bear to imagine any guy feeling her up on the dance floor.its extremely unbreable to imagine it. i havent slept all of last night, just wept, my hands and body trembling(i really cudnt take the stress my body was going thru) just imagining the thought of her being even slightly sexual with another man or she enjoying it. i really felt helpless sitting here in india and things happening to us which was beyond my control of what was happening in london. i cudnt bear the fact tht god has given me hands and a mind and i cudnt do a thing to save the love tht i had for her. i felt extremely ashamed of myself and felt like such a loser.
i managed to sleep for an hour, i dont know how, i guess i mustve passed out...i woke up crying and spoke to her weeping.she was touched by my love for her and assured me tht she was not going to do anything wrong which could harm us. i told her tht i just couldnt bear another man touching her.i just hope she takes it well, and doesnt think of me to be some possessive pig.it really concerns me.

u'll have really helped me out with this. im quite happy i came here, this is a great forum with a lot of interesting ppl.

im madly in love my girlfriend and will do anything for her. she's my heart and her love is my oxygen.

[nikita]

Aaaahhh.....sounds like a start into the right direction:) . Much better;) .

[fascination]

u guys have opened my eyes. i really had to gather my thoughts about everything i had with her.
u'll will be glad to know this- i spoke to her at length and confessed to her about how i felt about her grinding.i really love her a lot.
.she was touched by my love for her and assured me tht she was not going to do anything wrong which could harm us. i told her tht i just couldnt bear another man touching her.i just hope she takes it well, and doesnt think of me to be some possessive pig.it really concerns me.

u'll have really helped me out with this. im quite happy i came here, this is a great forum with a lot of interesting ppl.

im madly in love my girlfriend and will do anything for her. she's my heart and her love is my oxygen.I am really glad to hear that sunny_2907...really glad....I don't think anyone wanted to be overly harsh or discouraging ...and its great that you have come to those realizations....welcome to DF

[SPratt74]

Yes we don't mean to be harsh, but I had to be honest about the London scene, because I had been through it all already. But it took a lot for me to just live with it, because I loved my x and I trusted him. Mind you that I'm not into the club scene though (except now that my friends and I go dancing lol). But still... you need to just trust her. And don't worry about the other men, you will only make yourself sick if you do. Also remember that the person that she loves is you and that she isn't going to go home with any of them. It's like what my sister always told me, her husband could go out and do whatever he wanted with his lady friends, but she knew whom he was coming home to in the end and vice versa. Just remember that.

[saludas]

Hey, my posts are being deleted! Why?

[pygmalion]

Hey saludas. Do you mean this post and the one that follows? They're in the other thread. :cool:


http://www.dance-forums.com/showpost.php?p=282694&postcount=17

There are two threads on the same topic running concurrently. Is it possible you posted in one thinking it was the other? I've done that. Got all mad because I thought I was being censored. *shrug*

If that's not the issue, let me kow and I'll follow up. :cool: :)

[saludas]

Hey saludas. Do you mean this post and the one that follows? They're in the other thread. :cool:


http://www.dance-forums.com/showpost.php?p=282694&postcount=17

There are two threads on the same topic running concurrently. Is it possible you posted in one thinking it was the other? I've done that. Got all mad because I thought I was being censored. *shrug*

If that's not the issue, let me kow and I'll follow up. :cool: :)

that is EXACTLY why I was confused - however, I did try todelete this post and was refused... thanx again...