A novel experience

[quixotedlm]

I was an the city's most popular ballroom (and the best salsa scene) yesterday, just they way I'm always there every week. Something was complete off - everybody (I mean the girls) was super nice towards me. I've no clue why.

I don't mean to imply they aren't nice to me generally, but they were _especially_ nice yesterday. And this isnt' just the ones I know (from dance clubs, classes etc), but all the strangers as well. I walked into to help out with the beginners class (it was a few leads short), and every one of the girls in the group introduced herself first (kind of rare), and exchanged pleasantries, and continued small conversation of her own volition. I received way too many random compliments, a good dancer asked me to dance with her again after our first dance, nobody turned me down, couple of friends danced with me more than once, the doormen seemed to recognize me, the oh-so-cute coat check girl chatted with me, and even though I was never 'in the zone', i never had a bad dance either (well, i had one, in which the follower, a friend of a friend who was an absolute newbie, was clueless about even the basic salsa step and forced me into shines for the whole song, which admittedly i suck at).

I'm wondering what it was about yesterday that made others react so very differently in a positive way...

[waltzgirl]

Whatever it is, don't you wish you could bottle it?

Maybe it was your aftershave . . .

But it was probably some subtle difference in your attitude/emotional tone that was showing in your body language. Were you in a particularly good mood?

[Big10]

I'm wondering what it was about yesterday that made others react so very differently in a positive way...
Maybe somebody started a rumor that "quixotedlm is Warren Buffet's son, and he will get all the rest of the money that's not going to Bill Gates's foundation...." :confused: :D

Well, whatever happened, don't mess it up! It sounds like you had a great evening....

[quixotedlm]

Whatever it is, don't you wish you could bottle it?

Maybe it was your aftershave . . .

But it was probably some subtle difference in your attitude/emotional tone that was showing in your body language. Were you in a particularly good mood?

Well, I dont' wish I could bottle it. I rather wish that it is part of my fabric and permanent ;)

I was in a good mood, but I'm almost always in a good mood :) I went back dancing after a 1 week hiatus, which hasn't happend (the hiatus) in almost a year. That was the only difference....

[thespina13]

You know, I noticed a shift like that at some point during my first year as well. Suddenly I became well-liked by everyone, in demand on the dance floor, getting kissed on the cheek by everyone and getting compliments from people i didn't know like, "you're my favorite one to watch out there...". Every night became a parade of smiles and compliments and confidence. The only hypothesis I have was that at some point, the dance was IN me, the people felt like a part of me, I had been there long enough that everyone now expected and enjoyed me, and the most important thing, dancing had drawn me up like a crystal out of a previously formless solution. I became something else, my smiles were easier and people just seemed to gravitate to whatever new charisma i was exuding. I no longer stumbled self consciously on the dance floor. I rarely needed to apologize for goofs I'd make. I could talk to anyone. I could move exactly like how I felt, and my body suddenly felt like an instrument I could play very easily.

I think there's a sort of critical mass we acheive when we're on our way to actualizing ourselves, especialy amidst a group of intimately acquainted people, where life suddenly shifts... imperceptably to ourselves perhaps, but everyone around us notices the change with delight and admiration.

[Sabor]

hey .. maybe it was a full moon?
or for some reason they thought u were rich? lol

in a way.. it said that its all about vibes.. resonance.. energies that we cannot see but only feel awkwardly.. who knows.. maybe the starts were well aligned to your benefit.. chemistry and physics play a big part in our interaction and often we are blind to it..

[Josh]

I'm wondering what it was about yesterday that made others react so very differently in a positive way...

pheromones...?

[skwiggy]

I would be that pheromones are indeed the reason. We all give off different levels of pheromones on different days for different reasons. For women, it's often related to our cycles. And men have actually been documented to have hormonal cycles as well.

I also notice that on some days I get a ton of attention from the opposite sex, all day and for no apparent reason whatsoever. And on some days, I might as well be invisible. Coincidence? I think not.

[quixotedlm]

Pheromones? I have pheromones? Wow!

It feels like an unbroken spell though. I've had almost the same experience everyday since then (yeah, i dance everyday ;) ), perhaps in varying degrees depending on the scene. But essentially, the world seems to have suddenly changed its mind about a dorky guy...

Maybe it was my new goatee... I just removed it yesterday. I'd be sure it was my goatee if I suddenly lose all the good vibes tonight ;)

[Joe]

I would be that pheromones are indeed the reason. We all give off different levels of pheromones on different days for different reasons. For women, it's often related to our cycles. And men have actually been documented to have hormonal cycles as well.

I also notice that on some days I get a ton of attention from the opposite sex, all day and for no apparent reason whatsoever. And on some days, I might as well be invisible. Coincidence? I think not.
But why does it have to be pheromones--couldn't it just be something about confidence and/or projection of personality? Maybe you're just more open or closed on different days. Have you specifically noted that these "tons of attention" days coincide with the exact same point in your cycle?

[Josh]

But why does it have to be pheromones--couldn't it just be something about confidence and/or projection of personality? Maybe you're just more open or closed on different days. Have you specifically noted that these "tons of attention" days coincide with the exact same point in your cycle?

Well it doesn't have to be Joe... it's just a thought. But abstract concepts like confidence, personality, and moods are inextricably linked with chemical processes in the body. Moods, for example, don't just "happen" ... things are going on internally in the mind/body that cause the external result that we see. So, quite likely pheromones have a great deal to do with it.

[skwiggy]

When I bother to stop and take the time to think of it, it is often correlated with a specific time in my cycle, yes. A little TMI for a public forum, but since you asked. :p

And yes, I agree with Josh. It's impossible to separate out hormones, pheromones, and the way that the chemistry of them acts upon your mood and what you project. It's all too closely tied to distinguish.

[skwiggy]

Turns out that I'm having a good pheromone day today. I've been approached by two complete strangers with big compliments. I need to revel in this while it lasts. :) Now let me think about this timing... :p ;)