One dance partner all night?

[Big10]

How difficult is it for you to dance exclusively with the same person for an entire night? What factors make it better or worse?

I have seen many comments (both currently and in the past) where posters talk about the need to have multiple dance partners during an evening, even to the point that it becomes uncomfortable to bring a date to a club, because of the feeling of being stifled from dancing with others. :? I certainly have several women with whom I enjoy dancing, but I also expect to get married someday and there would presumably be many nights when my future wife would be my only partner. I have also had several nights in the past where I actually did dance with just one partner (sometimes dates, sometimes just friends), without any problem.

The subject came to my mind this past week, since I danced on both Tuesday night and Wednesday night -- about the same number of songs at each club. However, the difference is that I danced with about 10 separate women on Tuesday night, but only one woman on Wednesday night. The Wednesday night partner wasn't even a real "date," but just a friend who had been out of town and so we hadn't danced together in awhile. She even danced about 3 songs with other guys (so I wasn't monopolizing her), but personally I didn't dance with any women that I knew at the club. I just used the time that I wasn't dancing with her to chat and/or rest.

I had an equal amount of fun on both Tuesday night and Wednesday night. For me, it's not really boring to dance with the same woman, as long as the songs are different -- if that makes any sense to you.

So, when does it become "stifling" or "boring" for you to dance with the same partner? Are there different considerations for leaders and followers? I'd also be curious to know how many of you have actually danced with a single partner for 10 or more songs in the same night, not for practice, but just as an evening of social dancing?

[fallenangel]

I think it's a personal preference. I had dance, 8-10 dance with one guy before.
And it's the quality of the dance not the quantity. If u enjoyed dancing with that one person it won't be boring. At some point it will be boring if u do that all the time.
Like u said, u dance with everyone on tues but one on wed night, that's cool.
Due to dates, friends out of town, etc... usually i don't bring dates or friends that don't dance. Wouldn't want to bore them to death and keep myself from dancing.
If one day u do get married to a dancer, i'm sure the both of u would have the understanding of dancing with other ppl as well.
Try to even it out, and sometimes we're just not in the mood.
After all we're out there to enjoy ourselves, not to please other ppl opinions.
If the feeling is bad, trust your gut and just let it go.
There is always ppl that agree with u or disagree with u, just go with what your heart feels it's right.
Don't think too much, Dance With Passion :P

[Shooshoo]

10 or more songs in the same night, not for practice, but just as an evening of social dancing? :shock: 10 is quite a lot.

I have a dance partner I can easily dance with 5-6 dances the same night. But it depends much on the music being played cause then not all the dances are the same. It's a night where it's not only salsa. So I can do 4 salsas, 2 chachas, 2 jives, a rumba and a tango (oh..., that's almost 10). In addition this guy likes to try new moves, so it's fine for me cause then I get to learn new stuff.

I generally like dancing with different partners, but the nights when I dance alot with this guy is usually if there aren't many others who I enjoy dancing with, so we in a way 'monopolize' each other.

I also think if I get the chance to dance with my instructor I could easily enjoy dancing many dances cause of the variety of dances he can do.

[Legato Bluesummers]

I would feel stifled.

I want to be the best dancer that I can be; dancing with one person all night would not help me to be a better dancer.

[Sabor]

any more than 3.. she'll have to pay me .. hahaha

[MacMoto]

How difficult is it for you to dance exclusively with the same person for an entire night? What factors make it better or worse?
I think whether you are a leader or a follower can be a factor.

As a lead, you probably do pretty much the same sort of things for every dance -- okay, you do change things depending on the song and the partner, but your repartoire is finite (unless you happen to be one of those salsa selebrities who can invent moves on the fly). So if you have a partner you really enjoy dancing with, you can probably enjoy dancing only with her all night just as much as dancing with different women.

For me, as a follower, much of the fun of dancing comes from the fact that I don't know what's coming next. It's a mystery rollercoaster ride; every turn gives you a surprise. But what if you've done that ride a dozen times already? Personally I've never managed a night with just one person to dance with. The most I could stomach was half a night with a good leader I had only just met and fancied (and that does help :lol:), but after a while even the novelty and attraction lose the magic, and moves start feeling a bit repetitive, a bit too familiar. I had to go and do my round with other guys before I felt ready to go back to him.

[nikita]

It depends on you, what you think is right for you. I know lot's of guys, which do not accept, that their wife dances with other partners all nite long. Others just don't care.
I personally have a slight tendency just to dance with one partner. Or at least, with only a few.

[borikensalsero]

I've danced with the same lady (my lady love) the entire night countless of times. 'but, there is a but to it, mostly we do it in places that are specifically for the "non-dancing" crowd. We do this, although they are Salsa only venues but for non-dancers, to have time to ourselves, enjoy ourselves, and get a piece of mind that a salsa crowd just doesn't offer because of all the "un-written" rules to which members are held. During those nights we are into each other and nothing more, we won't refuse a dance if asked, but we don't go out of our way to do so.

There have also been times in dancer venues, where she will only dance with me, at least 10 - 15 times, even the nights were we only dance with one another. There simply is times that we go out, not to dance, but to socialize and if the song is fitting, then we'll only dance with one another.

Also, if female friends visiting from out of town tell me that they don't want to dance with anyone but me, I make it a point, even if at a dancers venue, to dance as many songs as they wish. For the sake of her comfort, that night, everyone who wants to dance with me will wait until I'm free, if at all. This has happened multiple times, all, from fear by the ladies of dancing in NY City.

It don't really care even if it affects dancers' judgment of my actions. I'll take the heat, if they don't understand too bad, that night my consern my company.

[sweavo]

... and get a piece of mind that a salsa crowd just doesn't offer because of all the "un-written" rules to which members are held. During those nights we are into each other and nothing more, we won't refuse a dance if asked, but we don't go out of our way to do so.

...

It don't really care even if it affects dancers' judgment of my actions. I'll take the heat, if they don't understand too bad, that night my consern my company.

Hear hear!

Just because it's nice not to refuse a dance doesn't make it a God-given right to be danced with! I don't think I'd take a date to most salsa night sunless it was somewhere we were both complete strangers and could have some us-time without being contantly molested! My S.O. and I did go to a live salsa gig as a date, and we danced together and apart a little, but I also refused dances with the excuse "I'm on a date tonight and I'd better check in with her".

[squirrel]

I don't have a problem dancing with the same partner for a longer time, but I most definitely prefer diversity.

Still, since our scene is pretty small IMO and the number of good dancers is low (I am talking about my level and my preference) I have to make do with a few good leaders (and, of course, with the others who invite me).

:)

[naturallove]

but more than one dance with the good ones if you can (just not always in a row!) I strongly prefer to dance with lots of different partners so that I can really see if I'm improving or not. You may think you're improving, but dancing with a partner whose moves, style, lead you've never seen is often a wakeup call! That's why I made a point of dancing with lots of different partners when I went to the D.C. Salsa Congress a couple of months ago. I felt good because while my dancing wasn't perfect, I was able to follow leads I'd never seen before!

[DCR]

I don't think i could dance with the same lady all night. besides if she was with me she knows she can dance with whom ever she wants.

[Big10]

I want to be the best dancer that I can be; dancing with one person all night would not help me to be a better dancer.
I strongly prefer to dance with lots of different partners so that I can really see if I'm improving or not.
Interesting comments -- but does every dance or every evening need to be viewed as a learning experience? Can't there be evenings when dancers just accept what they know at the moment, and simply do the best you can to enjoy the music with your partner(s)? My personal belief is that there will always be "something" I can learn to improve my dancing, but, at the same time, I don't want to become overwhelmed with dwelling on some unattainable perfection. So, I'll often "just go with the flow."

Along those lines, once I've developed a good connection with a particular partner, it's not difficult for me to dance with that partner all night. On the other hand, without that connection, there have been times when a four-minute song is about three minutes too long....


I think whether you are a leader or a follower can be a factor.

As a lead, you probably do pretty much the same sort of things for every dance -- okay, you do change things depending on the song and the partner, but your repartoire is finite (unless you happen to be one of those salsa selebrities who can invent moves on the fly). So if you have a partner you really enjoy dancing with, you can probably enjoy dancing only with her all night just as much as dancing with different women.

For me, as a follower, much of the fun of dancing comes from the fact that I don't know what's coming next. It's a mystery rollercoaster ride; every turn gives you a surprise. But what if you've done that ride a dozen times already?
That's a good explanation, and that leader/follower contrast was in the back of my mind when I asked the original question. On a personal level, because I try to adjust to the music, my sequences will be different (and feel different) simply because each song is different -- even though the permutation comes from my finite number of moves. At least that's what I'm trying to accomplish. Or, maybe I've just been lucky enough to know a few women who like riding the same rollercoaster dozens of times. ;)

[quixotedlm]

For me, as a follower, much of the fun of dancing comes from the fact that I don't know what's coming next. It's a mystery rollercoaster ride; every turn gives you a surprise. But what if you've done that ride a dozen times already? Personally I've never managed a night with just one person to dance with. The most I could stomach was half a night with a good leader I had only just met and fancied (and that does help :lol:), but after a while even the novelty and attraction lose the magic, and moves start feeling a bit repetitive, a bit too familiar. I had to go and do my round with other guys before I felt ready to go back to him.

I struggled the most (and still do) with this aspect of salsa dancing - I get bored with myself quickly. So if I can't conjure up a few new moves every couple of days (or learn some from the 3-4 group classes I take), I get no fun from dancing. This is what keeps bringing me back to salsa all the time - the euphoria of dancing on the floor and the intellectual stimulation I get when I'm imagining up new moves in 3-D ;)

[amo_dile_que_no]

[quote=Big10]Can't there be evenings when dancers just accept what they know at the moment, and simply do the best you can to enjoy the music with your partner(s)? /quote]

I hear you. When I go out it is to dance and have a good time, not to explicitly practice technique. You gotta try those new moves on the dance floor sometimes, but it's all in an effort to have fun. The only reason, I've ever danced.

[africana]

as always MM's answer is representative.
I'll also add that different leaders have different "specialities" or skills that actually go with certain songs or types of songs, or music tempos, or dance style. It's a rarity to find someone who's style and skillset fits every mood and variable

This is probably a top reason I like having a say in whom in dance with at any given moment

[hello]

Aren't the moves inspired by the music? Since songs are not repeated throughout the night, one could assume that moves, or at least combinations, or order of moves, would also not be repeated. Your super awesome spin that you've been practicing just might not fit into the song. My opinion is that if we as dancers are in tune with the music, we will choose moves that fit that particular song.

[naturallove]

Interesting comments -- but does every dance or every evening need to be viewed as a learning experience? Can't there be evenings when dancers just accept what they know at the moment, and simply do the best you can to enjoy the music with your partner(s)? My personal belief is that there will always be "something" I can learn to improve my dancing, but, at the same time, I don't want to become overwhelmed with dwelling on some unattainable perfection. So, I'll often "just go with the flow."


To be honest, I think dancing with a bunch of different partners and having things thrown at you is not only a learning experience, but fun. Heck, I wouldn't be dancing if it wasn't fun. Sometimes, even if you have a great connection with one partner, you can get stuck in a rut. Dancing with a new partner gives fresh perspective and maybe gives you new insight into your dancing. And for me, dancing is fun AND a way to express my creative side--and I can't personally do that with dancing with the same person all of the time. (But that's just me.) And to piggyback off of another comment, there are some people that can interpret some songs better than others. I know dancers I can do a really smooth salsa with....but if I want to act crazy and bust out, one of my teachers is the one I go to...

[Big10]

And for me, dancing is fun AND a way to express my creative side--and I can't personally do that with dancing with the same person all of the time. (But that's just me.)
Based on several of the other comments on this thread, I certainly don't think it's "just" you who likes a constant variety of partners. Part of the reason for posting this thread was because I was starting to think that it was just me who could enjoy dancing with one person all night -- and I wanted to investigate some of the reasons why I might be in such a small minority.

By the way, in case it wasn't obvious, the vast majority of the time I do dance with multiple partners during an evening! I'm not advocating the extreme position of dancing with a single partner for an evening all of the time. However, I have been a bit surprised at how many people advocate what I consider the opposite extreme of never spending an evening dancing with one person.

In some ways, dancing with one person for several songs would seem to present much more of a creative challenge (for both leaders and followers), rather than just keeping one person at a time happy for one song at a time. I'm not a "million moves man," but at this stage of my dance development I'm confident that I can keep any woman (even a professional) entertained for at least one five-minute song. If I repeat that process with a dozen different women during a night, then I guess I've done my job and we all leave the place happy. Nevertheless, it's quite a different experience, and sometimes a more fun one (especially with a friend), of keeping the same partner, working up a sweat together, and seeing what twists we can throw at each other over the course of a couple of hours.

[africana]

Aren't the moves inspired by the music? Since songs are not repeated throughout the night, one could assume that moves, or at least combinations, or order of moves, would also not be repeated. Your super awesome spin that you've been practicing just might not fit into the song. My opinion is that if we as dancers are in tune with the music, we will choose moves that fit that particular song. are you suggesting that the majority of salser@s can morph their styles to fit the music?
hah!
Maybe 5% if we're being kind

[Big10]

are you suggesting that the majority of salser@s can morph their styles to fit the music?
hah!
Maybe 5% if we're being kind
I agree that the ability to change styles is a rare trait. However, I'm not asking for a complete change of "style" with each song. I've certainly danced with a number of women (including you ;) ) who can toss in extra moves to fit different musical accents or feel comfortable freestyling if I let them go for a few bars of music, without necessarily changing the general "style" of their movement. It goes back to the concept I raised previously that even the same old moves, if they are adjusted to fit each different song, can develop a slightly different look and feel.

[MacMoto]

I'll also add that different leaders have different "specialities" or skills that actually go with certain songs or types of songs, or music tempos, or dance style. It's a rarity to find someone who's style and skillset fits every mood and variable

This is probably a top reason I like having a say in whom in dance with at any given moment
Couldn't agree more.

[SurfSalsa]

I definitely have "favourite" followers I like for a particular style of music - mostly in the high energy category vs the slower and more feeling and styling category.

But having said that, I would dance any of the "other" types of music with those in the "other" category too - especially rather than not dance it at all - and now and then you get a real pleasant surprise when miss high energy suddenly turns into a slow-song styling queen too!

But as a leader I know, I only have so much to offer in each song. What Africana has said is so true - from a leaders point you only have so much that you can use to adapt to the music (this is where you wish imagination could operate at salsa tempo speed with the rest going on auto-pilot). Too many variables, too little time!!

[africana]

I agree that the ability to change styles is a rare trait. However, I'm not asking for a complete change of "style" with each song. I've certainly danced with a number of women (including you ;) ) who can toss in extra moves to fit different musical accents or feel comfortable freestyling if I let them go for a few bars of music, without necessarily changing the general "style" of their movement. It goes back to the concept I raised previously that even the same old moves, if they are adjusted to fit each different song, can develop a slightly different look and feel.
as the romans say, "it takes two to tango" lol!

[brujo]

Based on several of the other comments on this thread, I certainly don't think it's "just" you who likes a constant variety of partners. Part of the reason for posting this thread was because I was starting to think that it was just me who could enjoy dancing with one person all night -- and I wanted to investigate some of the reasons why I might be in such a small minority.

Don't worry Big10, you ain't a freak.

I think it really depends on who the other person is. There have been some cases where I have gone to venues and danced with one other person for the entire time, although most of the time, I end up dancing with all the girls in the salsa bar. Dancing with one person is a lot of fun if it is the right person. It is like having a nice long conversation where you don't have to worry about time or the song ending, and you get to be silly or sexy, and switch between Cuban and NY and LA and on2 and on3 and on-clave and off-clave.

I think it also depends on how you view your dancing. When I was starting up with salsa, my priority was learning to stay in time and learning patterns, afraid that my partner is going to get bored. Nowdays, it's more about fun, connection and feeling the music. Since every song is different and the people around you will be different, the entire dynamic shift from song to song. I dance because I love the subtle aspects of salsa, the little isolations, the squeezes that no sees, the little finger tapping and winks that are not caught by anyone but the two of you. Dancing with the same person, who you are comfortable with, allows you to do this. And even across dances, from Bachata to merengue to salsa, the feelings and the passion displayed is different.

[Big10]

Dancing with one person is a lot of fun if it is the right person. It is like having a nice long conversation where you don't have to worry about time or the song ending, and you get to be silly or sexy, and switch between Cuban and NY and LA and on2 and on3 and on-clave and off-clave.
Exactly! There are some people with whom I have trouble conversing for more than 5 minutes, whereas with other friends I wonder where the hours went. It's awesome to find a partner who is the dancing equivalent of that latter type of friend. Plus, from a practical standpoint, there is much less pressure (at least as a leader) to insert as many moves as possible to satisfy a partner during one song (where the music might not even fit the moves you know), as opposed to knowing that you'll get a chance to throw in various moves "sometime" during the evening when the music is more appropriate. I also really liked the way you described the subtle things that go on between a couple, often spanning more than one dance.

Thanks for letting me know that I'm not a total freak. ;)

[salsamale]

So, when does it become "stifling" or "boring" for you to dance with the same partner? Are there different considerations for leaders and followers? I'd also be curious to know how many of you have actually danced with a single partner for 10 or more songs in the same night, not for practice, but just as an evening of social dancing?

I have danced with a single partner for most of the night. It gets stifling or boring for me when I feel that my partner is not enjoying herself, but if she says she's ok, and I believe her, then I relax big time. It also helps if we are close to the same level, if there is some sexual or romantic chemistry, and if we have good conversations during the break times. It gets even more interesting when it is not just 1 night, but many nights.

We could be holding each other back by not dancing with more advanced partners, but given the choice, I find that I am happiest when I have found a partner who I want to dance with all night, and who doesn't mind dancing with me all night.

[Lucretia]

I think one or more partners depends on your "stage of evolution". Where are you ...where are you heading...both as a salser* and/or as partner to your spouce.

I have been married more than 20 years with my husband. We have only danced for 2,5 years. I find it very thrilling to dance with him since he gives me a new ride almost everytime. The reaspon why is that:
1. we don't go to the same classes
2. we are both occupied with other dancers ...usually we get 3-4 dances per night

The ladies are always forming a line for dancing with my husband :ol: ...and I don't mind. We are both so secure in our relationship so we don't need to prove anything. The fact that we bring in new experiences in our dance is so exciting. And after more than 20 years ....you might need something r e f r e s h ing (without extra space in between there is a censur mechanism that blanks the text out). Yo need to charge the man/women relation with something. Salsa have made us both feel more attractive but we bring in the harvest and give it to each others - not to someone else ;)

One more fact is that we very often train at home. He repeats all his classes with me. In that way we evolve together. But still he amazes me when we go out - he picks up so many new elements of the dance...he suprise me every time.

I guess the question is not on or more partner - what do you like right now?

Perhaps you will prefer dancing with your spouce the first 5-10-20-30 years or not.

Perhaps you will bring your dance to another level when you find a tool - a partner - that will make you evolve.

Perhaps you change next week next year or 20 years later.

Just feel...and do what you want to and be happy with what you find out.

/luc

[tangotime]

How *******ing ! -- you are a very fortunate lady ( and he a fortunate man ):D :D. It would not let me spell fresh , with the word re in front of it ?

[DennisBeach]

I would feel stifled.

I want to be the best dancer that I can be; dancing with one person all night would not help me to be a better dancer.

We go the ballroom dances and swing dances. Despite the theory that dancing with one person hinders progress, all the best dancers at both types of dances are people who dance mostly or exclusively with one person. They take lessons together, practice together and dance together. Dancing with better dancers may lead to improvement, but dancing with weaker dancers would not.

Advantage of dancing with one person is you both are on the same page in each dance. You know the same manuevers and are trying to make the same technical improvements. You also have a practise partner, to work on getting new moves down, so you can do them on the dance floor. Dancing waltz with a teacher is beneficial, but dancing waltz/foxtrot with people who do not do rise and fall or full size steps, for me is more negative than positive.

If everyone is learning and practising the same technique and moves, than changing partners would be beneficial. But with everyone at different stages and knowing different moves, I don't see that people dancing with many partners are progressing nearly as much as people with a regular partner.

[Lucretia]

How *******ing ! -- you are a very fortunate lady ( and he a fortunate man ):D :D. It would not let me spell fresh , with the word re in front of it ?
:lol: I guess I must have made a mistake
Is there any difference in English and American English in how this word is interpreted?

/Luc

[cornutt]

:lol: I guess I must have made a mistake
Is there any difference in English and American English in how this word is interpreted?

/Luc

No, it's not a bad word in either variant. The DF server is censoring it for a completely different reason -- r e f r e s h is a so-called m e t a tag word ("m e t a" is another one) that can be exploited by hackers. Putting it in the naughty-word list is an easy and effective way of disabling that mode of attack.

[Sagitta]

No, it's not a bad word in either variant. The DF server is censoring it for a completely different reason -- r e f r e s h is a so-called m e t a tag word ("m e t a" is another one) that can be exploited by hackers. Putting it in the naughty-word list is an easy and effective way of disabling that mode of attack.yup...

[Sagitta]

I've danced with one person all night. I've danced with a couple and also danced with everyone one night. It is a matter of why you are dancing. That determines what works.

[tangotime]

Thanks for explanation. Am very computer illiterate ( still using stone tablets ! ) As far as the one partner thing, ---
Have seen, in salsa clubs, if some one from out of town attended, and was a great dancer , the chances of more than 2 people getting near them all nite ,was generally slim to nil !! . For some reason, it is not as prevalent in the ballroom world . In fact, many intentionally change partners at socials .

[brujo]

I think one or more partners depends on your "stage of evolution". Where are you ...where are you heading...both as a salser* and/or as partner to your spouce.


I don't think that you necessarily need to be in a romantic relationship with the person you are dancing all night. I used to take a friend to a Cuban bar and dance with her exclusively, as the other patrons did the same with the people they brought in.

That said, sometimes dance level does plays second fiddle to the person you dance with. There have been cases where I have danced with someone who was a beginner for the entire night, and would not have traded that for the fancy complicated patterns I get from 'advanced' dancers - but that can be blamed on love...

[Lucretia]

I don't think that you necessarily need to be in a romantic relationship with the person you are dancing all night.
I agree in that....this is actually what I meant ;)
Now I see that "and" and "or" is used in wrong way in the text I wrote.
/luc

[tangotime]

I wish my Swedish was as good as your english !!!!!! ( I know not one word )

[salsera_alemana]

We go the ballroom dances and swing dances. Despite the theory that dancing with one person hinders progress, all the best dancers at both types of dances are people who dance mostly or exclusively with one person. (...)
Advantage of dancing with one person is you both are on the same page in each dance. You know the same manuevers and are trying to make the same technical improvements. You also have a practise partner, to work on getting new moves down, so you can do them on the dance floor.

You are so right!

I always saw having a dance partner as a great benefit (no matter if he is just a dance partner or also a romantic partner).

I can see you single folks' position and why most of you cannot imagine enjoying dancing with one partner a whole night. When I was single I enjoyed dancing with many different leads and I was more flexible adapting to different leads and different styles. However, also then I much more enjoyed having just one great lead all night long (the emphasis is on "great", not on "one lead"), and those occasions were rare as there have always been more good followers than leads in dance venues.

The disadvantage for us followers, however, is that we usually cannot pick our dance partners, at least I personally do not like to ask guys for a dance unless I know them very well. I learnt that many guys do not appreciate that. I have always envied you leads because you can go out and enjoy yourself all the time because you can choose whom you will dance with. So, also as a single person I absolutely preferred having just one - great! - lead all night to having several different average dance partners.

For the past 13 years I have been dancing with my husband, who is a great salsero and I feel totally blessed and very fortunate. I always have a dance partner when I go out, I do not depend on anybody asking me to dance. Most of the time we dance together exclusively but we also exchange dance partners among friends or people we know. We used to practice new moves together and we are so in tune with each other when we dance. We like the same type of salsa songs and we can just totally enjoy dancing to our favorite songs. We can create new turns, step patterns and little tricks that we cannot do with any other lead or follower because they are "ours" unless we practice them with other people, usually friends whom we socialize with more often.

I totally enjoy dancing with other great leads (the emphasis is on "great"!) but when dancing with average or unexperienced leads I long to get back to my husband. It does not bother me at all to dance with him all night long. And there are songs that I want to dance only with him!

[starry]

Sigh, I have never had the option of dancing with one partner the entire night. It seems so romantic to me to have someone want to dance with me and only me. A girl can dream.

[brujo]

Sigh, I have never had the option of dancing with one partner the entire night. It seems so romantic to me to have someone want to dance with me and only me. A girl can dream.

On behalf of Sabor and diputs: Hey babay, how're you doing?

[Big10]

On behalf of Sabor and diputs: Hey babay, how're you doing?What made you mention Sabor? :confused: You must have forgotten his quote from the very first page:

any more than 3.. she'll have to pay me .. hahaha;)

Anyway, I agree with starry's view that a single dance partner all night can be extremely romantic! It's too bad that more ladies don't look at it that way....

[quixotedlm]

Anyway, I agree with starry's view that a single dance partner all night can be extremely romantic! It's too bad that more ladies don't look at it that way....

Now that I think of it, I think there is someone I can dance with all night and not be bored at all - because it's about the romantic connection. I'm pretty sure that she feels the same way (about the dancing, and by inference, about the romantic connection). Well, gotta ask her about it - maybe this week :confused:

[starry]

Hmmm, now that I think of it, over the last three years several females have tried to take away my professional dance partner, but I cannot think of a single male who has tried to steal me away from him.

Let's take a look at this evidence of what might be a disturbing trend: No one has ever wanted to monopolize my dance card for an entire evening, and; no one has tried to steal me away from my dance partner.

Well, well, I wonder if I have issues that require, mayhaps, a change in demeanor, a change in deodorant, or perhaps a complete salsa make-over!

Perhaps I have just lost my feminine mojo. Did I ever have mojo? How does one test one's mojo quotient anyway? Oh the agony this thread has bestowed upon me!

[DennisBeach]

You are so right!



For the past 13 years I have been dancing with my husband, who is a great salsero and I feel totally blessed and very fortunate. I always have a dance partner when I go out, I do not depend on anybody asking me to dance. Most of the time we dance together exclusively but we also exchange dance partners among friends or people we know. We used to practice new moves together and we are so in tune with each other when we dance. We like the same type of salsa songs and we can just totally enjoy dancing to our favorite songs. We can create new turns, step patterns and little tricks that we cannot do with any other lead or follower because they are "ours" unless we practice them with other people, usually friends whom we socialize with more often.

I totally enjoy dancing with other great leads (the emphasis is on "great"!) but when dancing with average or unexperienced leads I long to get back to my husband. It does not bother me at all to dance with him all night long. And there are songs that I want to dance only with him!

You reminded me of some of the other pluses of having one partner. We also have a lot of unique moves that we really enjoy. Our last teacher always told us this is the basic move in our book, practise, modify and make it your own. They were allways very happy when they saw we had done that with manuevers they had shown us.

One other advantage is when it's crowded. I knew which moves I can safely lead with my wife and I can focus on floor management and leading effectively. I don't have to worry about whether she can follow, which allows me to do my job better.

We have been dancing 5 1/2 years and it is getting more enjoyable, rather than going the other way.

[thespina13]

Sigh. As was previously mentioned, a girl can dream....

[salsamarty]

My wife and I started dancing together and for the first year we only danced with each other. We took lessons at the clubs and they, of course, ask that you rotate to other partners which turned out to be a pretty good way to find other people who were friendly and danced at our level. The classes helped break the social ice and reduce the “fear of rejection” factor. Eventually, we decided to dance 1-2 dances with other people each night and now we may go all night with only 1-2 dances with each other. There is a certain boredom element to dancing with only one partner years on end. You will become a better dancer if you dance with a variety of partners. Finally, it depends on the crowd on any given night. If the other dancers don’t look like good prospects then we are happy to dance with each other.

I don’t think you meant it this way . . . but this question often is asked as a round-about way of inquiring about “jealousy”. I’ve seen this often enough with casual dancers and beginners on dates. Most people are out there just to dance. I know groups of women who leave their husbands at home with the kids for a regular ladies night out. Most married couples I know at the clubs dance with a variety of partners for the variety and because they know that it is the best way to experience salsa dancing.

[salsera_alemana]

There is a certain boredom element to dancing with only one partner years on end. You will become a better dancer if you dance with a variety of partners.

This is certainly true for beginners and intermediate dancers. It is good for them to change partners and dance with different people to get used to different styles and different people leading them. However, in my case, I had been dancing with all kinds of people for 2 years (had danced "my way up" to the best dancers) and had become picky about my leads when I met my husband. He was one of the best dancers in my scene then. Also, he is very creative and can easily choreograph new turns and patterns when he is in the mood for it. I am never bored dancing with him. I am rather bored easily when dancing with other people, it depends on their level of dancing and also on their style. Two years ago I was at a small salsa congress in Germany and Jhesus Aponte asked my husband for a dance with me. Gee, I was sooooo flattered and on cloud 7! Of course, in cases like that I extremely enjoy dancing with other leads, hehe...:bouncy:

but this question often is asked as a round-about way of inquiring about “jealousy”. I’ve seen this often enough with casual dancers and beginners on dates. Most people are out there just to dance. I know groups of women who leave their husbands at home with the kids for a regular ladies night out. Most married couples I know at the clubs dance with a variety of partners for the variety and because they know that it is the best way to experience salsa dancing.

From what I have seen over the years, it can be dangerous for a relationship if one partner often or regularly goes out to dance without the other. Here, as always, it depends on the health of the relationship.

When two people usually go out together, I do not see a potential problem in dancing with many other partners.

[brujo]

And you can get absolutely silly with one partner, try out different things that you would not normally do in a whirlwind of multiple "dance-friends".

[RugKutta]

Keep in mind that I have been single thoughout my time as a salsa dancer, so my perspective may be a tad bit skewed, but I too find it somewhat boring to just dance w/ one person the whole night. I rarely even dance more than one song in a row w/ someone. The exceptions are if I haven't danced w/ her in a long time, the first song was not a full song, the second song is a chacha and she's good at it (we're lucky if we get more than 2 chachas on a given night), or it's our first time dancing and we both kind of unspokenly agree that the other is really good. Depending on how good the lady is, it may take me a bit longer to get bored w/ dancing w/ her, but I will still eventually get bored dancing w/ the same person. I guess I just enjoy a bit of variety when I dance.

I'm sure that once I find that special someone who is compatible w/ me on the dancefloor as well as off, I will greatly enjoy dancing half the night or more w/ her, but if she is indeed compatible w/ me, she will most likely enjoy dancing w/ others just like I do. I too agree that dancing w/ multiple partners keeps your lead/follow technique sharp and keeps you from getting too comfortable or lazy. To somene loves to dance and is only concerned about dancing w/ one person, this probably doesn't matter, but for someone like me who really loves the dance itself, it would be important to still be able to lead everything well and not rely on one's partner to cover up the mistakes or be able to think ahead of me.

Some people, when I tell them that I would still go out and dance w/ other women when I'm in a relationship, they look at me like I'm stupid like, "how could you do something like that?" or "she wouldn't stand for that." I just chalk that up to them not really understanding the mentality of someone who really loves the dance itself as well as the other person, and they probably don't understand that in the salsa scene, most of us (key word, most) aren't there trying to pick anybody up or take anybody home. I don't really expect them to understand, either. I've seen more than enough dating and married couples who still go out and dance w/ everyone to know that such a relationship can work.

[DCR]

To make along story short.
Very difficult for me to dance with the same lady all night.

[SnowDancer]

What is the proper etiquette when you're at a club with someone but you'd like to dance with others? My wife and I ran into a woman from our dance class last night, and I felt like the polite thing to do would be to ask her to dance. But I didn't since I couldn't just leave my wife sitting alone (which I was pretty sure she wouldn't have been happy about). And it seems that nobody will ask my wife to dance while I'm hanging about.

I've thought about trying to get one of the other fellows to dance with her... but that sounds a little funny:-)

[quixotedlm]

What is the proper etiquette when you're at a club with someone but you'd like to dance with others? My wife and I ran into a woman from our dance class last night, and I felt like the polite thing to do would be to ask her to dance. But I didn't since I couldn't just leave my wife sitting alone (which I was pretty sure she wouldn't have been happy about). And it seems that nobody will ask my wife to dance while I'm hanging about.

I've thought about trying to get one of the other fellows to dance with her... but that sounds a little funny:-)

Waay easier to ask you wife, no?

So here is a question - just a twist of SnowDancers Q - You are on a maybe-date with someone in a club. You hang out with her and stay close - then you two can dance as much as you want - but other guys may not easily ask her much. Since this is a 'maybe' date, starving her out of dances might be a bad idea, but since it is a maybe 'date', not hanging out close to her and instead going away on your own dancing trip might be a bad idea- so where is the middle ground? ;)

[SnowDancer]

One possible answer: One time when I was at a club with my wife, I took a bathroom break, and, upon returning, saw that someone had asked her to dance. So I had no qualms about asking another woman to dance with me.

So... drink a lot of beer, and let nature take its course.:-)

[tj]

What is the proper etiquette when you're at a club with someone but you'd like to dance with others? My wife and I ran into a woman from our dance class last night, and I felt like the polite thing to do would be to ask her to dance. But I didn't since I couldn't just leave my wife sitting alone (which I was pretty sure she wouldn't have been happy about). And it seems that nobody will ask my wife to dance while I'm hanging about.

I've thought about trying to get one of the other fellows to dance with her... but that sounds a little funny:-)

I'd say that you should talk it out with your wife before the two of you go to the club. Set groundrules/expectations.

And another benefit when you start dancing with someone else, is that your wife will more likely be asked herself at that time.

[Catarina]

been thinking a lot about this thread as I read through the other responses...particularly as a few guys that I dance with regularly will ask to dance 2, 3, and sometimes 4 songs in a row. Then there are guys that I would love to dance with 2, 3, 4 songs in a row with, but I'll be patient and hope that someday they will....I think that it's fun dancing with a familiar guy for a few songs in a row, as long as it seems like they're having fun. What finally pushed me over the edge to reply on this thread was realizing last night into my third song with one guy that he didn't look to be having fun (or was he thinking really hard on what move to do next?), and I realized I wasn't totally paying attention to my dancing either...I was watching that couple over there having a goofy time...CBL...watching this couple over here doing some wacky stuff....and I realized I was definitely not present in the dance either. So, for whatever that was worth...maybe three was too many for us!
That being said, it seems like there are some guys who assume each time we dance will be no less than two songs. Which I am fine with...still don't know how i'd handle dancing with one person all evening though!

[MacMoto]

So here is a question - just a twist of SnowDancers Q - You are on a maybe-date with someone in a club. You hang out with her and stay close - then you two can dance as much as you want - but other guys may not easily ask her much. Since this is a 'maybe' date, starving her out of dances might be a bad idea, but since it is a maybe 'date', not hanging out close to her and instead going away on your own dancing trip might be a bad idea- so where is the middle ground? ;)

When I was in that situation, what I did was to dance with the guy (my maybe-date) for a while then asked for a break so I could have a walkabout and dance with others. I promised I would come back to him for more dances later (and I did). I wouldn't be interested in men who couldn't take it anyway. It may be a bit more difficult for guys to do this and leave the maybe-date alone to fend for herself if she's not the type who's happy to ask men to dance (I understand I'm in the minority).

[sweavo]

Would never go on a date to a club where I knew people and would get asked to dance. Maybe a live gig.

[Sabor]

there are always these odd nights that u may find yourself dancing most of the night with one partner.. that is not the generality however..

the generality for me is to always try and leave the dance partner wanting for more.. i.e .. it adds to flava

[Pacion]

the generality for me is to always try and leave the dance partner wanting for more.. i.e .. it adds to flava

That is if, of course, you can get her to stop dancing long enough to have another dance with you! :banana: :lol:

[quixotedlm]

When I was in that situation, what I did was to dance with the guy (my maybe-date) for a while then asked for a break so I could have a walkabout and dance with others. I promised I would come back to him for more dances later (and I did). I wouldn't be interested in men who couldn't take it anyway. It may be a bit more difficult for guys to do this and leave the maybe-date alone to fend for herself if she's not the type who's happy to ask men to dance (I understand I'm in the minority).

That's what I had in mind too - to keep it flexible and easy while paying plenty of attention to the maybe-date. But that's a moot point (http://www.dance-forums.com/showpost.php?p=361482&postcount=1254) now.

[Big10]

When I was in that situation, what I did was to dance with the guy (my maybe-date) for a while then asked for a break so I could have a walkabout and dance with others. I promised I would come back to him for more dances later (and I did).
If I'm on a date or a "maybe-date," then I would leave her only if I get asked to dance by a known acquaintance/friend, or if I see a specific friend with whom I want to dance. I'll tell my date something like, "I'm going to say 'hi' to my friend Monica and dance a song with her." I wouldn't leave my date just to see who I could randomly find out of the pack of dancers at the venue.....well, unless I've come to the conclusion that this date just isn't working out. ;)

Would never go on a date to a club where I knew people and would get asked to dance. Maybe a live gig.
If I take a date to a Salsa club, then it's usually a place I know. In other words, I'll already know where the hardcore dancers stand (most clubs have de facto areas like that), and I deliberately choose an area away from them, so there is much less chance of getting asked.

[RugKutta]

I in the rare situation that I bring a "date" when I go out to dance, I always have some sort of conversation w/ her as to what we expect from each other during the night. You can never go wrong w/ the right amount of communication. If the person who gets upset already knew what the deal was before hand, said person has no one to blame at but her/himself.

[samina]

i haven't mixed dancing & dating -- had many non-dancers who wanted to "take me out dancing" and i'd never ever go there. they wouldn't understand the culture of dancing with multiple partners all night... and i LIKE that culture! :)

now that i'm in a relationship with a dancer, we go to the same socials and mix it up the same as before... although we do dance together more often. he enjoys dancing with other women as much as i enjoy dancing with other men. i don't think it'd ever be a problem.

i generally only dance one (sequential) dance with someone, tho... on rare occasions, i may dance two sequential dances.

i've experienced sensitivity around asking a man to dance while out at a club, if his GF is nearby. has happened a couple times where i've asked the lady permission to allow me to steal her man away for a dance, and once the woman was very pissy about it. but she found me a few months later and apologized. :)

i don't worry about any of it, tho. i'm polite, and if someone has an issue, well... it's their issue to sort out. i don't believe i've ever given reasonable cause for anyone to take offense.

when i go latin dancing at clubs by myself, tho -- which is how i've almost always gone -- i tend to follow certain "rules" i've discovered which prevent one man from digging his talons in & trying to claim ownership for the evening. LOL

[samina]

I in the rare situation that I bring a "date" when I go out to dance, I always have some sort of conversation w/ her as to what we expect from each other during the night. You can never go wrong w/ the right amount of communication. If the person who gets upset already knew what the deal was before hand, said person has no one to blame at but her/himself.

yeah, well, said, rugkutta!