Dance Partners

[Anonymous]

Hello everyone, I don't mean to place this message in the wrong spot if I have done so.... I was wondering if anyone knew of somewhere I can look (in Birmingham, Alabama) for dance partners. I don't have the $ (at this time) that it requires to pay a professional so I need someone who is interested in dance and who is willing to grow with me. I currently have been dancing for 2 years in a local line dance club. However I feel as though these locals are severly limiting my potential as a dancer. Don't get me wrong I love them all...but I'VE GOT TO DANCE!!!! They are a lot older than I am and the music lags sometimes. I am interested in honing my skills at ECS, WCS, salsa, cha cha and waltz patterns. I suppose anyone who might be interested could email me at my user name (above) @yahoo.com I suppose aside of placing an ad in the newspaper, this is the next best thing? I appreciate any help that you can give me....my resources are limited in this tiny town of mine......"Keep Dancin'"
Heather

[DanceMentor]

I would also try to spread the word by making sure you visit all the different studios and public dances in your area. It's very common to find a partner at a social dance. You might also want to tell us a little bit about the person you are looking for: age, experience level, etc.

[Spitfire]

Do any of the studios where you live have bulletin boards that may contain this info?

The one I go to here does and I think many others do as well.

[pygmalion]

There is a new website out there that is basically a clearing house for people seeking dance partners. I'll post the link under ads and announcements. I'm not affiliated with it, but here's my take: For a reasonable fee, you get to tap into a bulletin board of people seeking dance partners, sorted by geographic area. Similar to this bulletin board, actually.

Problem: women outnumber men MANY to one. No surprise there.

[SDsalsaguy]

The partners wanted section of ballroomdancers.com is very good too...and free :D

[pygmalion]

Forgot to mention this, but should have. dancepartners.com works a lot like a personal ad (not that I've ever had any need or desire to use one :lol: ). It's free to post your profile. You pay if you want to initiate contact with other people who have listings.

Also, two other observations. The database is new, so it's not very well populated yet (except for all those darn extra women! :) ), and they really do seem to be mixing dance with dating a bit too much for my taste. For example, what does religious affilation or desire to have children have to do with finding a dance partner? Not much, if you ask me.

[yoyao]

For example, what does religious affilation or desire to have children have to do with finding a dance partner? Not much, if you ask me.

maybe your dance partner might end up be the partner of your life? :roll:

[pygmalion]

maybe your dance partner might end up be the partner of your life?

Which would be so nice, and sometimes happens. I just found it sort of a turn-off to have that info solicited up front. Made it feel like a dating service, not a dancing partner service.

When I'm starting a relationship with a guy, it generally takes a while, a few dates at least, for me to start sharing personal info, as I start to feel comfortable. It feels weird to me to give that info up-front to a computer! Arrgh! Of course, that's just me. Others may differ.

Incidentally, the religious affiliation, preference for kids, and other personal stuff is listed under optional info, and I didn't provide it.

[SDsalsaguy]

Incidentally, the religious affiliation, preference for kids, and other personal stuff is listed under optional info, and I didn't provide it.
Well then how am I supposed to decide if I want to marry you??? :lol:

[Vince A]

Hey SD,
You need to get in line . . . d nice has already asked her! And of course, I keep mildly flirting with her . . .

[pygmalion]

Oh! So many men, so little time. What's a girl to do? :lol: :lol:

[pygmalion]

Seriously, though. Are there other resources out there where one can find a amateur (or, for that matter pro-am) partner?

[pygmalion]

Here's a cool articles with links that offers ideas and resources for finding a good dance partner.

http://www.eijkhout.net/rad/dance_offnet/partner.html

[Sagitta]

I have found quite a few dance partners at a dance class. Just asked her if she was interested in doing something on our own and she was up to it. So, hsfisher95/ heather, you might want to attend a dance class and see if anyone there is interested in doing more on the side. I have a couple danec partners as there aren't many people whom I know who are interested in as many different dances as myself -- so one partner for ballroom, another for latin, another for wcs, another for lindy...Of course I'm only doing ballroom and latin now.

[dancing_moogle]

Which would be so nice, and sometimes happens. I just found it sort of a turn-off to have that info solicited up front. Made it feel like a dating service, not a dancing partner service.

I know this thread is old, but I just happen to pass by it. This is the same observation I have about online partner search sites (and I'm sure everyone knows this too). I got a response from one guy, whose ad specified that he wants an Asian girl. I'm thinking "For what?". Gave me the creeps at that moment.

But this is kinda interesting, because everyone is very selective. What do you look for when searching for a partner? Do you care about the looks, too?

[Sagitta]

I guess it might depend on for what purpose I am looking for a dance partner. They clearly are people on thes sites looking for more then just a person to dance with!! I'm a social dancer at present so my criteria for partners probably isn't as stringent as those looking for competitive dance partners.

[yoyao]

time to move on, and a change of partner after the coming competition.

[Sagitta]

time to move on, and a change of partner after the coming competition.

Good luck with that!! :)

[Christina75]

Y'all are awesome. I'm so glad I found this forum. I'm not a new dancer...more like an out of practice dancer. I moved to Alabama two and half years ago and all but gave up on dancing (other than what I do in my living room while listening to cd's. lol) I'm not going to hold my breath hoping I'll find somewhere to dance and someone to dance with, but I'll definately try the various links mentioned here.

Thanks!
Christina

[pygmalion]

Hi Christina75.

Welcome. :D You might want to check out an older thread -- coming back after a dance hiatus. You're not the only one who's been in the out of practice shoes. :wink: I'll search and see if I can find it for you.

Also, if you're looking for dance venues or teachers, did you try dancespots.net? There are some pretty good listing there, and, I believe on ballroomdancers.com. Let me check, then I'll come back and confirm.

Again. welcome to the forums. :D

[pygmalion]

Okay, Christina75. Here's what I found that might help you.

Two threads with some folks' thoughts on coming back to dance after a while away.

Coming back after a dance hiatus (http://www.dance-forums.com/viewtopic.php?t=1734)

and
Getting back into the swing of things (http://www.dance-forums.com/viewtopic.php?t=2345)

Also, I checked ballroomdancers.com. Not a lot of dance spots or teachers listed, and those are mainly in urban areas -- Huntsville, Mobile, Birmingham. Take a look, though. You may find something that fits. Also, there are two USABDA chapters in AL -- One in Birmingham, one that covers the Shoals area (more rural, I think. An old friend of mine is from near there.)

Good luck. And welcome.

Jenn

[Christina75]

Thanks so much! Someone recently told me that it shows a real love of dance when you spend longer driving than you do dancing. I guess I'll have to tune up my car while I'm trying to fit in my old dance clothes because it looks like I'll be doing quite a bit of driving. :-) Oh the sacrifices we make...

have dance shoes, will travel :-D
Christina

[Vince A]

Hi Christina75 . . . welcome to the DF!

Since you are relating dancing and your car . . . check these out . . . and yes . . . we can get quite carried away!

http://www.dance-forums.com/viewtopic.php?t=632&highlight=car+dance

[Sagitta]

A belated welcome to df Christina75!! :D Oh yes, the things we do for dance and dance things related. :oops: :)

[SDsalsaguy]

A belated welcome to df Christina75!!
:lol: How belated can you be? She just joined today! :lol:

Speaking of which... welcome to the forums Christina75! :D

[Christina75]

gulp, I feel so welcomed I think I just might get choked up :wink:
:friend:

Christina

[rachel with the questions]

I wrote an article on the tricky business of finding a new partner it's been posted on the articles page...hope it is helpful!

:wink:

[Genesius Redux]

Thanks so much! Someone recently told me that it shows a real love of dance when you spend longer driving than you do dancing. I guess I'll have to tune up my car while I'm trying to fit in my old dance clothes because it looks like I'll be doing quite a bit of driving. :-) Oh the sacrifices we make...

have dance shoes, will travel :-D
Christina

I'll travel to Alabama to dance with you, Christina, and will not consider it a sacrifice!

Genesius :D

[fashionlady]

well, as long as the guy doesn't repulse me, I'll happily dance with him. He doesn't have to be cute but he can't smell bad or have bad dental hygiene. Mainly, I look for good personality, good manners, and a try hard mentality.
Does anyone else agree with me or is it all about looks and skill level for everyone else?

[Sagitta]

I agree. In fact every dance that I go to I try and find some people who haven't danced before to give them a taste of what dance can be. :)

[fashionlady]

Christina, what part of Alabama are you in?
I'm from Huntsville originally and I know some good places and some cool people you can meet up with to go dancing with. Even if you're not anywhere close to Huntsville, I know a guy who knows who and where to go elsewhere in the state. Gosh, that last line sounds like something out of a bad detective movie, doesn't it?? :roll:

[etchuck]

well, as long as the guy doesn't repulse me, I'll happily dance with him. He doesn't have to be cute but he can't smell bad or have bad dental hygiene. Mainly, I look for good personality, good manners, and a try hard mentality.
Does anyone else agree with me or is it all about looks and skill level for everyone else?

Gee, if it were that easy, I'd have trouble keeping all the potential follower/dance partners at bay. :cry:

P.S. Don't ask.

[fashionlady]

Well, Etchuck...it's too late, I already asked! :D :wink:

[etchuck]

:)

Seriously though...

If there are so few leaders than there are followers, then even competent leaders should have little problem turning down requests from women to be partners. But it doesn't happen that way. I've been dancing off-and-on for about ten years now, and I have only been asked to be a partner maybe three or four times, all within the last year (my first ones were "arranged" as part of a club team and so I don't count them in this discussion), all of them lasting no more than 2-3 months, two of them due to circumstances beyond my control [they found jobs and moved away].

Now I presume I have decent hygiene, am relatively fit, a good disposition, decent technique, and cordial to everyone. I am not so vain nor do I believe I'm cute, handsome or even good-looking, but certainly I'm always wanting to get better. If none of these is the case, then we can just stop this discussion now, but let's just imagine..., okay? :)

Dancing with me is probably not a big problem socially. I welcome newcomers and experienced people as much as I can dance with them. But when it comes to finding a partner, I want someone who will give me reason to become better and conversely someone I want to become a better dancer. I want someone who believes in my ability as a dancer and someone in whom I can be confident while dancing. I'm not looking for a girlfriend or even a one-night stand (at least when it comes to a dance partner; I haven't found either when it comes to real life either ;) ). I'm looking to be a better dancer, and a partner should motivate me to be better beyond my own goals and expectations.

That is the necessary element for me. Many of the other elements discussed about successful partnerships are also very important such as skill level and common competitive interests. But if there is not a personal interest in each other's development as dancers, then why would you want to spend any time practicing with someone you wouldn't care about in that way? Of course, I do as well a job separating other emotions from the professional/collegial concerns whereas other partners may find some difficulty (or may welcome intertwining the two). But that's what I want.

But in an activity which is so follower-dominated, this leader doesn't quite feel that he's really "in demand" by anyone. Even after 10 years, it's not like I don't go to dances and make it clear I dance with just about anyone. All it would take is one person to come up to me and ask me to be their partner. I might have to evaluate how successful such a partnership would be, but honestly, that would do it. Period.

But it doesn't happen. At least not to me.

[D-spot]

With you all the way etchuck, definitely a shortage of followers.
I tried several websites, went around to many different clubs, asked many instructors to help, etc. Had try-outs with quite a lot of people.
Most said they were of a certain level, by that they meant that they had learnt a few steps of that level syllabus, not that they were capable of dancing at that level.
Some were just hopeful beginners not knowing any steps and unable to dance on time (a couple I stayed friends with and they became students of mine when I started instructing professionally).
The ones that were closest (IMHO) to my level all seemed to want someone a lot better. One lady wanted someone who was as good a dancer as her instructor (at the time he was a top latin amateur teaching on the quiet) as she couldn't afford as many lessons as she wanted.

Okay, I did meet with two who were compatible in the end. One lives too far away for regular dancing (previously a top amateur from Scotland 20 odd years ago) and scheduling was a big problem as both of us are busy working people. The second lady I danced with regularly (upto 6x a week, group, private and lots of social) but we weren't emotionally compatible (my prob, excessively logical, little emotion). Still dance with her socially however.

The main problem seems to be that too many people are looking for a dancer significantly better than they are themselves. This really cuts down on the ACTUAL number of available followers. I do know that a lot (not all)of leaders would like a relationship with their partners, and this presumably cuts down the available pool of leaders as well.

Are both sides looking for unrealistic attributes?

D-spot
(disillusioned, where has the dream gone)

[Flat Shoes]

Dancers Directory (http://www.dancers.org/) could be as good a place as any on the net. It is not designed for finding partners, but it is a good way of locating dancers.

Might be worth a try.

[Genesius Redux]

Yes, etchuck is quite right, and d-spot. It's hard to find someone who's willing to learn with you and put in the time you need in order to get better. I know exactly what d-spot means when he talks about people who tell you what level they're at--so much of it depends on the studio they've been at, and what that studio emphasizes. I've been appalled, frankly, at what's happening with so many of the franchise studios here in Nashville. Students are learning steps, certainly, and patterns--but lead and follow are largely neglected, either because the teachers are not able to teach them, or because students are being passed along from level to level and told they're getting better when they're not.

Then there's all the stuff on the partner search websites. Jenn is right--a lot of them wind up looking like glorified dating services. I mean, if I'm looking for someone to dance tango with, I don't really care whether she reads automotive manuals and has a pet iguana. (I don't really care if I'm looking for dating either). I mean, you're meeting someone for the first time, right? You want to see if you can dance together, how well you like each other, whether you have similar goals, etc.

Sure, if I get involved with someone I'm dancing with, that's great. But I sure don't care when I first meet someone whether they want to have two or three children and want to live in a renovated farm house in a small town. In America especially, we've become such a nation of consumers we don't even realize it. It's rude to put someone through that kind of test--after all, they're dance partners, not Supreme Court nominees. How about, "Hey, Sugar, wanna dance?" "Thought you'd never ask, Handsome." "Hey, you're really fun--do you wanna dance again?" "Any time, give me a call."

:roll:

[Sagitta]

Dancers Directory (http://www.dancers.org/) could be as good a place as any on the net. It is not designed for finding partners, but it is a good way of locating dancers.

Might be worth a try.

Thanks Flat Shoes, and welcome to df!! Glad to have you with us!!!! :D

[etchuck]

The ones that were closest (IMHO) to my level all seemed to want someone a lot better. One lady wanted someone who was as good a dancer as her instructor (at the time he was a top latin amateur teaching on the quiet) as she couldn't afford as many lessons as she wanted. ... The main problem seems to be that too many people are looking for a dancer significantly better than they are themselves. This really cuts down on the ACTUAL number of available followers. I do know that a lot (not all)of leaders would like a relationship with their partners, and this presumably cuts down the available pool of leaders as well.

Definitely agree with you there. Being careful not to stereotype too much (but I think you all take the humor in stride), it seems that men want a trophy dance partner, and women want a sugar dance daddy. :) :)

[D-spot]

Succintly put, I'll use them in future if you haven't copyrighted them.
D-spot
(eloquence 101 failure)

[pygmalion]

The ones that were closest (IMHO) to my level all seemed to want someone a lot better. One lady wanted someone who was as good a dancer as her instructor (at the time he was a top latin amateur teaching on the quiet) as she couldn't afford as many lessons as she wanted. ... The main problem seems to be that too many people are looking for a dancer significantly better than they are themselves. This really cuts down on the ACTUAL number of available followers. I do know that a lot (not all)of leaders would like a relationship with their partners, and this presumably cuts down the available pool of leaders as well.

Definitely agree with you there. Being careful not to stereotype too much (but I think you all take the humor in stride), it seems that men want a trophy dance partner, and women want a sugar dance daddy. :) :)

I have no idea what this thread is about, but I'm now intrigued enough to go back and read the whole darn thread. LOL.