Burnout

[MadamSamba]

Hmmm...one of my friends is suffering a serious case of burnout @ the moment. She's stopped private lessons, hasn't been to a social in weeks and refuses to come dancing on weekends or weeknights.

Until her break she used to dance five times each week and was glad to dance at any social opportunity between the five group/private lessons. She loves dancing, but every few months she goes through this, "I think I'm going to quit dancing" phase and stops for a few weeks.

I know it happens and I went through something similar recently, but what are your thoughts on burnout? How often do you suffer from it (if indeed you do) and does returning (I'm assuming you return) feel better? Also, how long do your "burnout breaks" last?

[Salsero_AT]

It sounds that she went dancing almost everyday before she stopped. Maybe one should try even when dancing is the most important thing to use 2 or 3 evenings per week to do something different or to have an relaxing evening at home so that dancing does not loose what is so special about it.

[Marvellous]

It sounds that she went dancing almost everyday before she stopped. Maybe one should try even when dancing is the most important thing to use 2 or 3 evenings per week to do something different or to have an relaxing evening at home so that dancing does not loose what is so special about it.

I didn't think burn-out was possible for an addict. :D

Honestly, from my personal experience, and from peolpe I know, if people feel tired of the whole thing and quit coming around for a while, or something like that, it is actually NOT the dancing, it is something else in their lives.....

[pygmalion]

I have suffered dance burnout. In fact, when I joined dance-forums, I was seriously considering quitting the whole thing. One week of DF changed my mind. :oops: :lol: :D

And, for me, it was just the dancing -- the constant striving but feeling slow success. The money. The time. The sacrifice of so many other activities. Questioning my own priorities. And on and on.

In the past, I've managed to avoid burnout by scheduling dance downtime -- a week off here or there, especially after a big event. And I've also scheduled dance dessert -- a lesson here or there to just dance and not worry about work or technique at all.

Incidentally, almost every dance bulletin board I've seen (and that's a LOT of bulletin boards :lol: :lol: ) has a similar topic, so it must be fairly common.

[peachexploration]

In the past, I've managed to avoid burnout by scheduling dance downtime.......

Yeah, I do this also. Even if it means taking a month off or so (Which I'm doing now). Like pygmalion says, it's fairly common.

[Sagitta]

I've also scheduled dance dessert -- a lesson here or there to just dance and not worry about work or technique at all.

That's what the easy dances are there for. So at the latin night on Tuesdays there are the bachatas (latin country dance) and the merengues!! :)

[pygmalion]

Honestly, from my personal experience, and from peolpe I know, if people feel tired of the whole thing and quit coming around for a while, or something like that, it is actually NOT the dancing, it is something else in their lives.....

I didn't mean to dismiss your comments about this, Marvellous. You're right. Often, it is something other than dancing that makes people quit. I could name several people who quit because of a failed romance with a former dance partner, several more who quit because of pressure from loved ones at home, and many, many who quit for financial reasons. You're right.

[Vince A]

Honestly, from my personal experience, and from peolpe I know, if people feel tired of the whole thing and quit coming around for a while, or something like that, it is actually NOT the dancing, it is something else in their lives.....

I didn't mean to dismiss your comments about this, Marvellous. You're right. Often, it is something other than dancing that makes people quit. I could name several people who quit because of a failed romance with a former dance partner, several more who quit because of pressure from loved ones at home, and many, many who quit for financial reasons. You're right.
Jenn,
I believe that you have hit the nail on the head.

As you said . . . you were in burnout, and how many times have I said I'm still in burnout? It is always somethings else, I feel, that contributes to burnout.

For me, it was being soundly defeated at World's last January, then taking time off to "sulk" about it. I gained about 20 pounds, which even added to the misery. Then, in July, I started dancing again only to be told I had diabetes, which kicked my a** once again.

Now, almost a year later, I am getting back in the saddle. Love and encouragement from my best friend, Carolyn, and several DF friends that I've come to know over the net and one in particular in person, have contributed to me getting rid of that burnout. It's still there, but fading fast.

[pygmalion]

How did I miss this post? Hugs, Vince. I'm sure that this will pass, and you'll come back recommitted and better than ever. Hang in.

[Vince A]

How did I miss this post? Hugs, Vince. I'm sure that this will pass, and you'll come back recommitted and better than ever. Hang in.
I'm ha hangin' . . . thanks Jenn . . . this will pass, I know it will!

[dancergal]

How did I miss this post? Hugs, Vince. I'm sure that this will pass, and you'll come back recommitted and better than ever. Hang in.
I'm ha hangin' . . . thanks Jenn . . . this will pass, I know it will!

Vince, I go through dance burn-out off and on too. I think that I want to take a break, I'm not learning fast enough, my feet hurt, I don't have time for anything else......then we go to a convention or we learn a fun move and suddenly I'm back, wanting to learn more.....don't know what's up with me sometimes. :roll:

[MNswing]

I went through a small/minor phase of burn-out about 3 weeks ago. I just got to the dance and would be too tired and unmotivated. Then I took 3 weeks off for Thanksgiving because they don't have any dance venues where I live for the holidays. I came back and went dancing last Saturday night and it was awesome. THEN the whole week I couldn't keep my eyes off of dance clips on the Internet and I was dreaming about dancing, and just couldn't wait. Last night, I had one of the best dancing nights of my life. Everything was clicking and my dance partner helped me learn how to spin multiple times in a row... SUPER COOL - We got to about 10 revolutions. It was sweet!!!!!!!!!!!! Such an awesome night, and now I can't wait 'til NEXT Thursday. The sad part is, I'll be home again for the holidays and no more dancing for 3 weeks... HOWEVER, when I get back, it'll be great again! What a predicament... but it's great. Good stuff.

[Dancegal]

I took a dance break in July - was getting tired of what seemed to be dance politics - whether real or perceived - and was having trouble getting over an old relationship :cry: (with a fellow swing dancer). It took a lunch with a fellow swing dancing friend to learn not to pay attention to the politics and enjoy the dance for what it is. I still dance with my ex-boyfriend if we are at the same dances and it's okay now thankfully (ironically dancing with him helps for the awkwardness to go away). And of course, I missed the LINDY! It helped me realize how much I enjoyed it. So, now I encourage my friends to enjoy it as well.

http://lindyfest.hsds.org/

[MadamSamba]

Thanks for all your thoughtful replies. Just FYI, my friend is back dancing and doesn't look like stopping anytime soon.

She got a bit stressed about her medals (she always does about three, gets very worked up then does brilliantly and comes back). Anyway, she just got her results and is over the moon _ all honours. Ok, so she's a wee bit mercurial, but the important thing is she's back!!! Just thought I'd let you guys know.

[HothouseSalsero]

I'm not sure I should comment, since I don't think I've gone through exactly what is being discussed here--but I do think we should keep in mind that we are human beings and dancing doesn't have to be an (or THE) all-consuming priority. I only spent a couple years as intensely involved with dancing as what some of you are describing here (and even then, there was a definite limit to how many nights I could stay out late dancing--I need my sleep and there's no point trying to argue with myself).

Maybe the person mentioned in the original post was maybe overdoing it and beginnign to resent that. Of course, it could also be something else entirely.

I remember one period when I was having a weekly private lesson, two group salsa classes (one filling in as an extra male in a beginner level class), another lesson with my teachers at a club night (if I felt up to it), and an Argentine Tango group class. Even though I wasn't even paying for the AT class, I really wanted to drop out of it. For me it was being stretched too thin. (Okay, granted: I also didn't really take to tango, which may negate the whole thing.)

[hereKittyKitty]

I started to post this in the "how are your practices going?" thread, but decided it would be best suited here because I haven't been practicing.
I have been experiencing a strange case of burnout with my dancing. I don't want to hear ballroom music, I don't want to practice. Lessons (when we get them) no longer motivate me.I haven't worn my new dress yet and I'm not sad about it. All I want to do is work, eat, post on DF, and above all hang out with my cats. I haven't even worked out lately which is unusual.
To be fair, my partner was injured, which led to us backing out of 2 competitions, I've been sick (twice), our main coach has been out of town, coaching and judging. So we visited another coach out of town, and that was not good. Finally we had another coach in town a few weeks ago and took about 6 lessons and that was helpful for about 24-48 hours. Now our coach is back and I'm hoping to feel better about this, but has this happened to any one else here? How did you "snap out of it"?

[Laura]

Been there, burned that, enjoy the time when you're not on the floor, you'll come around soon enough.

[hereKittyKitty]

I hope so. Its so weird.

[fascination]

I started to post this in the "how are your practices going?" thread, but decided it would be best suited here because I haven't been practicing.
I have been experiencing a strange case of burnout with my dancing. I don't want to hear ballroom music, I don't want to practice. Lessons (when we get them) no longer motivate me.I haven't worn my new dress yet and I'm not sad about it. All I want to do is work, eat, post on DF, and above all hang out with my cats. I haven't even worked out lately which is unusual.
To be fair, my partner was injured, which led to us backing out of 2 competitions, I've been sick (twice), our main coach has been out of town, coaching and judging. So we visited another coach out of town, and that was not good. Finally we had another coach in town a few weeks ago and took about 6 lessons and that was helpful for about 24-48 hours. Now our coach is back and I'm hoping to feel better about this, but has this happened to any one else here? How did you "snap out of it"?
after my first trip to USDSC, which to be fair wasn't bad, but didn't meet my expectations... my progress seemed to be levelling off...I really had a hard time practicing b/c I had no idea how to improve things and I had stopped beleiving that I could get better and/or thinner because I had been doing everything possible on both counts and had levelled off anyhow....i didn't have tools or inspiration to keep moving upward and I lost alot of my energy for both dieting and for practicing...I honestly couldn't talk myself into thinking that either mattered anymore...in fact, it was time to stop and get perspective and make some serious changes...it was a rough time but I needed the down time to get away from the stress of being unable to reach a goal that I so wanted to reach...for a while I began to focus on other things and then it really came clear that I had to make a significant change...which has lead to a new springtime in my motivation to dance....it's okay to be where you are...it's okay

[hereKittyKitty]

Thanks Fasc. I have been exploring my options as far as what I need to do, where I need to go to get motivated again and get a fresh perspective. I think this is whats needed. We are talking of a potential move to a new location which would certainly help. Some place where there isn't a coaching drought.

[fascination]

no doubt that sort of thing will open up whole new worlds...I know that I could never have imagined what my latest transition would have meant for my practicing and my motivation

[QPO]

I think we all need time away from the floor and realise that there is more to life than dancing....(i know that is hard)....but we have that break over our January season, when most are having a break. This is our first time of dancing and practicing at least five days a week and we can feel in in our weary bones....rest before burnout happens :-)

[gracie]

Yes, happened to me too. I went back and only took with a woman Pro for a while. Did some groups with beginners and I think it re-sparked the whole thing. I think what you experiencing is normal- good to regroup sometimes.

[hereKittyKitty]

We went to a local comp today.It was a little inspiring and I decided to practice afterwords. I can tell I'm not there yet. We only spent an hour whereas before we would spend 1½-2 hours just practicing away. It made me kind of sad to see all of my friends and acquaintances competing and having a blast and not being able to be in that place myself. I know things will return to normal...hopefully better than normal. In the meantime my cats have enjoyed having me around more often.:D

[etp777]

yeah HKK, last comp I was at FP and I were just watching, and was killing both of us. Halfway through first night she said we should get o ut there. :P

Did prompt me to figure out next two showcases though after I do this tango for last time, and choreography for one is scheduled in 10 days, so not all bad. :)

Right now, only take lessons 2 weeks out of three, so no real burnout on lessons, though occasionally on parties and practices (skipped both yesterday). When I was taking several lessons a week would definitely need breaks at time to avoid burnout though. I used other dances for that. I only really train and compete in 7, so when I needed a break, would grab one I didn't normally do (WCS and Samba were picked most often), and would spend at least part of a lesson on that. No pressure, just have fun and learn something new, rather than spending hours tweaking technique on same few dances every lesson. Helped ******* me and remind me why I was dancing, plus was fun.

[hereKittyKitty]

Yeah I'm thinking next week I'll take some latin group classes. Something to break the pattern. We're always focusing on standard. Actually, part of what led to this burnout was a lack of standard coaching and trying to figure everything out ourselves. There are very few good standard coaches here, but plenty of latin and rhythm coaches.

[etp777]

Definitely helps me, and while it may not be directly applicable to what you're workign on, ti's still ballroom, and it still improves you as a dancer.

[hereKittyKitty]

Definitely helps me, and while it may not be directly applicable to what you're workign on, ti's still ballroom, and it still improves you as a dancer.
So true. It should change my focus at least and help me improve in other areas.

[waltzgirl]

Don't rule out the possibility that you're still a bit rundown after being sick. It can sometimes take a while to bounce back and it's easy to think that the lethargic feeling is mental, when it's really physical and your body is saying take it easy for a while.

[hereKittyKitty]

Don't rule out the possibility that you're still a bit rundown after being sick. It can sometimes take a while to bounce back and it's easy to think that the lethargic feeling is mental, when it's really physical and your body is saying take it easy for a while.
I definitely feel a bit run down to say the least. I noticed today that I didn't have the stamina that I had before. We managed to do a round but it was weak. Definitely need to take it easy and build back up.

[Peaches]

Feeling burned out, or going through a funk, or something. Or it could be the weather--I don't do well on rainy gray days, and we've had several in a row.

[nucat78]

I danced a showcase, an almost-showcase, and a formation routine in December. For the two weeks prior to that, I was at the studio virtually every free moment either practicing, taking a group or taking a private. I dumped a boatload of money too.

It was great fun, I think I did reasonably well, but I've had no desire to repeat the experience. I'm not sure I'm burned out but my enthusiasm level is way down, even months later. I only danced a formation for this month's showcase.

We have medal testing coming up for the first time ever and I'm not sure I even want to bother with it.

[Sagitta]

I've not danced much in the past year. We will see what effect it has this year. I do plan to dance more, but my focus has changed, I think.

[Laura]

I'm feeling rather burnt right now myself. But I'm not going to even have the opportunity to dance for the next two weeks so maybe it will work itself out during that time.

[jwlinson]

Not burned out, but trying to give myself another day off during the week.

A week ago one of our hospitals had a Relay For Life benefit called Dancing With Our Stars. I think there were like 18 "celebrities" total, something like that, and a crowd of over 600 onlookers. I had three of my own local celebs to dance with, and since November the partner and I have been in the studio nearly every day working on routines with/for them. It was a lot of fun, and I'd definitely do it again next year, but it feels good to just take it easy for an extra day or two during the week. For now at least...

[QPO]

I think to prevent burnout you need to have a routine of doing so many days per week, and give yourself time to have breathing space ....outside of dancing

[danceronice]

I think I'm about to burn out on EVERYTHING. Unfortunately I can't take a break (well, I could take a break from lessons, but San Diego and Yankee are coming up faster than I think) from anything. Hence the stress. I'm going to end up a great big teary mess on the floor someday. Or in hospital. One or the other. Possibly both.

[hereKittyKitty]

I think to prevent burnout you need to have a routine of doing so many days per week, and give yourself time to have breathing space ....outside of dancing

Good advice. When I completely stopped, I thought, this is nice,there is life outside of dancing. In general, I'm feeling a little less burned out than I was, but still in a state of flux....

[hereKittyKitty]

I think I'm about to burn out on EVERYTHING. Unfortunately I can't take a break (well, I could take a break from lessons, but San Diego and Yankee are coming up faster than I think) from anything. Hence the stress. I'm going to end up a great big teary mess on the floor someday. Or in hospital. One or the other. Possibly both.

and I thought I had it bad:(

[danceronice]

I need a vacation. Next thing is San Diego DS, but that's work + comp. Definitely not a vacation.

[hereKittyKitty]

I need a vacation. Next thing is San Diego DS, but that's work + comp. Definitely not a vacation.
Any chance you could stay an extra day and relax?

[fascination]

I need a vacation. Next thing is San Diego DS, but that's work + comp. Definitely not a vacation.
DOI...I try to remind myself that I can be miserable for absolutely free...so if your comp experience is more stressful than enjoyable perhaps you might want to re-think doing them for a time...or re-think your perspective on why the stress may outweigh the enjoyment...BTDT...I feel I positively owe it to myself to enjoy my comps as hard as I practice and as much money as I spend...if I don't, well I could be feeding a whole lot of starving people with my dance budget....the least I can do is let it make me a more joyous person...;)

[Silveralsa]

Hmmm...one of my friends is suffering a serious case of burnout @ the moment. She's stopped private lessons, hasn't been to a social in weeks and refuses to come dancing on weekends or weeknights.

Until her break she used to dance five times each week and was glad to dance at any social opportunity between the five group/private lessons. She loves dancing, but every few months she goes through this, "I think I'm going to quit dancing" phase and stops for a few weeks.

I know it happens and I went through something similar recently, but what are your thoughts on burnout? How often do you suffer from it (if indeed you do) and does returning (I'm assuming you return) feel better? Also, how long do your "burnout breaks" last?

Well, I have kinda similar experience as a music major. I originally went to do performance in college until after sophomore year I finally realized I DISLIKED performing. Yet, I had pushed myself so hard that I totally stopped after I switched to a generic music degree. I was burnt out and had no desire to do it. I'd lost the love of it after hours of practice a day/concerts/etc for years. Now, about 10 years later, I've finally started to have a tickling of a desire to pick it up a little.

Because I love dance so much (and picked it up at beginning of college), I've been very careful to not burn out on it. When I first started, I was on college dance team/club and was dancing practically 5 days a week. For personal reasons, I had to take a break for a year after dancing for two. Then went back and danced for couple more years. Then again for personal reasons had to take a year off. Now, I don't recommend that for everyone, but I think at that time, it really helped me.

Question, does your friend compete in dance at all? I've seen now that I usually start to feel the most "burnt" when I get absorbed with being competitive/perfectionism/performance. I have to remember I'm doing this for fun. If needed, keep social dancing, but step back from lessons and competiting. The joy of dance far outweighs rate of growth...

[TAK]

Hmm...interesting topic.

I think for me the feelings of "burnout" have been very functional in the sense that they've prompted me to change my dancing routine when it needed a change. In retrospect, when I think about the times when I felt like I was progressing too slowly and didn't want to continue the way I was going, I really WAS progressing too slowly and DID need a change.

After the weekly routine changes, coaching changes, and discussions with my partner, I have generally had some of the most exciting periods ever, since the learning curve suddenly steepened along with the change.

I just need to take some time to think through what would really be likely to help. It's upsetting to myself and especially my partner that I'm in a funk in the meantime, but I think we both know that those feelings pass. (My partner has a different burnout pattern: he tends to need a break after competitions, as it seems several of you do.)

[samina]

read thru the thread. have tried to recall any feelings of dance burnout and can't, only times where it was simply "time to rest", and i don't believe that ever lasted longer than a couple weeks. and frankly, those times may have all been inspired by "needing to rest the pocketbook" more than the body or the spirit. never had any thoughts of wanting to quit or feeling weary of a routine or momentum.

sounds like this isn't the norm. but, well, there it is. hiatus or no...can't imagine life without dance, now.

[dlgodud]

:read thru the thread. have tried to recall any feelings of dance burnout and can't, only times where it was simply "time to rest", and i don't believe that ever lasted longer than a couple weeks. and frankly, those times may have all been inspired by "needing to rest the pocketbook" more than the body or the spirit. never had any thoughts of wanting to quit or feeling weary of a routine or momentum.

sounds like this isn't the norm. but, well, there it is. hiatus or no...can't imagine life without dance, now.

I totally with you on this. I've been taken off from dancing for 2 weeks. Actually that was the plan and talked to my pro. And the drama started and I was going to quit with pro. But, I changed my mind and was going to go back to the dance floor right away. My pro suggested me to take a week off and i'm now dying on my couch thinking about going back to dance.

[Spitfire]

I'll admit that there are times when I feel that things are getting old and stale, but that only occurs when I'm not at a dance. I don't feel that way when I am dancing though.

[DancingMommy]

those times may have all been inspired by "needing to rest the pocketbook" more than the body or the spirit. never had any thoughts of wanting to quit or feeling weary of a routine or momentum.

I concur. For me, I haven't had a chance to get burnt out because between babies and non-dance-related injuries and surgeries, I haven't been able to do much dancing. I wish I had such a dance schedule that I could even come close to burnout. :(

[New in NY]

Has anyone had success motivating a burnt out partner? Lately my dh has no enthusiasm for anything other than AT. He used to be very motivated in all of our classes. I could continue lessons in other dances without him, but we are social dancers and the main reason we started was to have time together and to dance with each other. I suspect his change of heart is in part due to the loss of our favorite teachers (and something of a going-out-of-business atmosphere in one of the studios where we take lessons), but also I have observed him getting impatient now when he can't pick something up quickly. Would he benefit from a break or should I push him to continue?

[samina]

I concur. For me, I haven't had a chance to get burnt out because between babies and non-dance-related injuries and surgeries, I haven't been able to do much dancing. I wish I had such a dance schedule that I could even come close to burnout. :(

i hear ya. i kept a grueling schedule all last year, hit up 13-14 comps...only whet my appetite. :cool:

thing is, tho...taking time when needed to heal, rest, reconnect with one's purpose, take care of self & personal matters...these things are all important. so someone may experience "burnout" and it's simply that some of those other things have fallen by the wayside and need attention, and that's normal.

i'm a hard-working lazy-person who needs (and takes) a lot of personal time to just "be", and i know that's what allows me to maintain an intensity about something i love over time.

[Terpsichorean Clod]

Has anyone had success motivating a burnt out partner? Lately my dh has no enthusiasm for anything other than AT. He used to be very motivated in all of our classes. I could continue lessons in other dances without him, but we are social dancers and the main reason we started was to have time together and to dance with each other. I suspect his change of heart is in part due to the loss of our favorite teachers (and something of a going-out-of-business atmosphere in one of the studios where we take lessons), but also I have observed him getting impatient now when he can't pick something up quickly. Would he benefit from a break or should I push him to continue?
I'm sorry to hear that, New in NY. Perhaps there are some situational factors rather than personal limitations that are keeping him from picking things up as quickly?

-taking on too much new material at once?
-bad group classes?
-working on technical points that require multiple things to be working together?

If so, maybe a break not from the frustrating dances, but rather a break from the usual approaches? Otherwise, I think a break would be a good idea, maybe picking up a dance style you've never done before. :)

[New in NY]

Thank you, TC. In giving this some thought, now I think the problem may indeed be taking on too much new material at once, in the sense of learning too many dances at one time. He and I learn very differently. I can pick up and remember steps relatively quickly (though it doesn't improve much from there; I am technique-challenged) and I never confuse steps between dances. So I really enjoy learning new dances to be able to dance to all types of music. It takes DH longer to learn the step and until recently he would sometimes confuse steps between dances. And of course he has the real burden of remembering the steps as the leader. So to be fair, it seems we should pull back on the variety of dances we are learning. ... Except I am getting very interested in learning WCS ...

[Terpsichorean Clod]

I'm glad you may have identified the problem. I don't think you have to cut back on the number of dances. Instead, maybe you could cut back to something like 1-2 steps or technical points per dance. Or instead of studying two dances in a week, do one dance a week and alternate. :)

[BR-folk-square]

I am getting frustrated with the sexism of dancing, and wish there was a group where both men and women took turns dancing lead and follow....

Every few months, i feel like quitting. But either I find a woman at a dance that will lead me a little bit, or some class teaches a move where the woman momentarily hijacks the lead, and I manage to keep going.

--Carey

[dlgodud]

After almost 3 weeks off with my pro, I had a lesson on last Friday. I was so unhappy 3weeks ago before I dropped a bomb to my teacher. The first lesson after all drama, it was like a dream. 50minutes felt like 5minutes. I think the break I had was timingwise,a correct decision.

[Terpsichorean Clod]

I am getting frustrated with the sexism of dancing, and wish there was a group where both men and women took turns dancing lead and follow....
Hmmm, I'm not sure I agree about the sexism. I think that there are two roles, neither better than the other, just different. There may be a tradition of each gender assuming a particular role, but IMO there isn't anything chromosonal that predisposes them to that role. There are people out there who enjoy dancing both roles. I hope you'll get to visit my area sometime. :)

[Peaches]

Has anyone had success motivating a burnt out partner? Lately my dh has no enthusiasm for anything other than AT. He used to be very motivated in all of our classes. I could continue lessons in other dances without him, but we are social dancers and the main reason we started was to have time together and to dance with each other. I suspect his change of heart is in part due to the loss of our favorite teachers (and something of a going-out-of-business atmosphere in one of the studios where we take lessons), but also I have observed him getting impatient now when he can't pick something up quickly. Would he benefit from a break or should I push him to continue?He's not burned out...he's going over to the dark side. It happens. ;)

I'm mostly kidding.

Don't push. Whatever you do, don't push.

[Peaches]

I am getting frustrated with the sexism of dancing, and wish there was a group where both men and women took turns dancing lead and follow....

Every few months, i feel like quitting. But either I find a woman at a dance that will lead me a little bit, or some class teaches a move where the woman momentarily hijacks the lead, and I manage to keep going.

--CareyWhat sort of sexism do you find/where do you find it?

Is it a question of bristling at the whole men lead/women follow thing, or is there outright discrimination going on where you're learning?

[Silveralsa]

Don't push. Whatever you do, don't push.

I agree, cause when push comes to shove (no bad pun intended), a person will walk away...

[fascination]

in my times of burnout...I find that a break is essential...and if we are talking about dealing with a husband, if there is one thing I have learned after 24 years of marriage, it is never push a man to do something he doesn't want to do, unless it is a matter of life and death

[dlgodud]

in my times of burnout...I find that a break is essential...and if we are talking about dealing with a husband, if there is one thing I have learned after 24 years of marriage, it is never push a man to do something he doesn't want to do, unless it is a matter of life and death

A lesson learned from you today.

[New in NY]

He's not burned out...he's going over to the dark side. It happens. ;)

I'm mostly kidding.

Don't push. Whatever you do, don't push.
Yes, Peaches, you are right! DH and I went to a practica this weekend and he was so happy and reinvigorated! I love the dark side too, but I also need my twinkles ...

[Gorme]

Every few months, i feel like quitting. But either I find a woman at a dance that will lead me a little bit, or some class teaches a move where the woman momentarily hijacks the lead, and I manage to keep going.


West Coast Swing

[Gorme]

Hmmm, I'm not sure I agree about the sexism. I think that there are two roles, neither better than the other, just different. There may be a tradition of each gender assuming a particular role, but IMO there isn't anything chromosonal that predisposes them to that role. There are people out there who enjoy dancing both roles. I hope you'll get to visit my area sometime. :)

Hmm, would you say that if the man is doing the follower role in Standard, that he would also have to shape like the woman? It makes sense from the aesthetic and execution point, but I think many men will take just as long as the woman to learn how to get into that proper position.

[Terpsichorean Clod]

Hmm, would you say that if the man is doing the follower role in Standard, that he would also have to shape like the woman?
Yes, I think so. One of my teachers told me to take my right hand, reach under my left arm, grab my left bra strap, and pull forward. ;)
It makes sense from the aesthetic and execution point, but I think many men will take just as long as the woman to learn how to get into that proper position.
I agree about men taking just as long, discounting any general differences in flexibility, access to role models, opportunity to practice. The guys I've seen training exclusively to be followers tend to get similar results as girls who are training as followers. Likewise for girls training as leaders from the start.

[Steve Pastor]

I am getting frustrated with the sexism of dancing, and wish there was a group where both men and women took turns dancing lead and follow....

Every few months, i feel like quitting. But either I find a woman at a dance that will lead me a little bit, or some class teaches a move where the woman momentarily hijacks the lead, and I manage to keep going.

--Carey


The "dance scene" that seems most accepting of "gender role switching" is, at least in my experience, is Argentine Tango in Portland, OR. Men are encouraged to lead the woman's role, and when there is a gender imbalance, people are encouraged to dance the other role. Guys can also be seen practicing together at practicas, too.

[Silveralsa]

In my personal opinion, I LIKE the fact that I have a specific role and can enjoy something that developed to show off what women have to flaunt. Don't get me wrong, I'm always amazed and impressed at how some guys move their hips WAY better than women (ok, and little jealous). Still, I don't think it's sexist to have gender-specific roles in general for dancing. It's like sports, you're gonna have the fastest be the running back, the great arm the quarterback, and the big dude the linebacker. Why can't we do what we're best at? I believe we were created a certain way (physically, etc) and should celebrate it, not compare and contort ourselves to be what we're not. I don't want this to open a can of worms, just my two cents in all respect to other viewpoints.

[wonderwoman]

Not so much a burn out as.... a fizzle out. Was just getting in to a groove then ran out of money and had to quit lessons. Have made attempts here and there at learning some new stuff, just a couple west coast lessons in the past month, that's it... I feel like I'm starting over from ground zero again, the way my whole life is. I'm probably going to be moving hours from where I've lived my whole life to start a new job soon. Dancing was an escape from the every day boring routine but now I have no routine. Dancing isn't as satisfying.. putting the work in, having those little moments of acheivment. I just want to be able to let go and enjoy it, I don't want it to be work.

[Leonid Turetsky]

Burnout does happen to every one at some point.... I think it is key to step back and not make any rush decisions based on emotions that arise immediately (Which you may regret, like quitting your teacher or partner all of a sudden!)

Time off is always the best solution.
In general, I agree with other posts, that doing dance for 5-7 days a week isn't sustainable in the long run (esp if its a hobby).. its best to fit dancing in, in a way that allows you to balance all aspects of life.

[Sylph]

I couldn't agree more with the idea of taking a step back to get a little perspective. But having to get back into the groove after an extended absence can be a little demotivating. Dance is a language which means that certain elements may be lost if not used on a regular basis. At least this was what I found after a year and a half of no ballroom and latin (can you imagine???) Soooo happy to be back in my dancing shoes..

[Silveralsa]

In general, I agree with other posts, that doing dance for 5-7 days a week isn't sustainable in the long run (esp if its a hobby).. its best to fit dancing in, in a way that allows you to balance all aspects of life.

I agree about fitting it in. I partly find that doing other things than dance brings different feels/ideas to my dancing, helping me to explore musicality. Besides, otherwise it's like eating your favorite dessert after every meal. Soon you're sick of it. ;) Beside probably a good 20lbs heavier...

[Terpsichorean Clod]

I agree about fitting it in. I partly find that doing other things than dance brings different feels/ideas to my dancing, helping me to explore musicality. Besides, otherwise it's like eating your favorite dessert after every meal. Soon you're sick of it. ;) Beside probably a good 20lbs heavier...
Which is where dancing and dessert diverge, because when you get sick of dancing, you're a good 20 lbs. lighter. Of course a month later, you've gained it back and then some... ;)

[Dream314]

How can you tell the difference when you stop dancing whether it was a loss of passion or if you are just burnt out?
How does everyone deal with the question of being burnt out?

[bia]

How can you tell the difference when you stop dancing whether it was a loss of passion or if you are just burnt out?
How does everyone deal with the question of being burnt out?
If you were just burnt out, eventually you'll miss dancing and want to go back to it. If the passion is gone for good, you'll never want to go back to it. I have no idea how to tell the difference when you're in the middle of the exhaustion, but I don't know that you really need to. Seems to me it makes sense to rest and stay away from dancing as long as you don't want to dance. The door is never closed to coming back to it if/when the desire comes back.

(Of course, this is assuming that we're talking about amateur, "hobby"-type dancing. I could imagine that someone looking to be a top world competitor might indeed find the door more difficult to reopen after a long break.)

ETA: And if you do come back to it, you can use a thoughtful evaluation of what led to getting burnt out in the first place to figure out how to include dance in your life in a more sustainable way going forward.

[yagottabelieve]

I've needed a week off after my first two WCS conventions. Part of it is readjusting to a normal sleep schedule after four straight days of late-night dancing.

I also experience occasional burnout during periods of (perceived) slow progress.

[Fred Astaire NOT!]

Hmmm...one of my friends is suffering a serious case of burnout @ the moment. She's stopped private lessons, hasn't been to a social in weeks and refuses to come dancing on weekends or weeknights.

Until her break she used to dance five times each week and was glad to dance at any social opportunity between the five group/private lessons. She loves dancing, but every few months she goes through this, "I think I'm going to quit dancing" phase and stops for a few weeks.

I know it happens and I went through something similar recently, but what are your thoughts on burnout? How often do you suffer from it (if indeed you do) and does returning (I'm assuming you return) feel better? Also, how long do your "burnout breaks" last?

don't pressure your friend. I've taken breaks, longest being 2 years. I come back with a vengence everytime wiht new enthusiam and willingness to learn.