What entices men to learn to dance?

[danzur]

I teach in Ontario at a Community Centre. I'm always falling short on men to come out to learn how to dance.

Guys, do you have any suggestions (clean ones) that I could use/try to entice guys to come out to lead some ladies?

I always thought guys knew a lady loves a man who knows how to dance! ;)

[Twilight_Elena]

If you charge an entry fee or some other sort of fee, you should have a discount for the guys. Another idea is asking the ladies if they have any male friends/family they can bring with them.

T_E

[Twilight_Elena]

I always thought guys knew a lady loves a man who knows how to dance! ;)

Oh, and for some reason they don't really know that. Most men think dancing is for gays and senior citizens.

T_E

[Sagitta]

I teach in Ontario at a Community Centre. I'm always falling short on men to come out to learn how to dance.

Guys, do you have any suggestions (clean ones) that I could use/try to entice guys to come out to lead some ladies?

I always thought guys knew a lady loves a man who knows how to dance! ;)

If you ahve eben tecahing classes for sometime just email your list of students and ask for help from men who have done your classes and feel comfortable with what you ahve taught? I know one teacher who does that where I live? Also, ask the ladies if anyone is interested in learning to lead as sometimes I've seen that happen when there is such an embalance. A pity I"m so far....

[Sabor]

free beer? j/k

[SalsaManiac]

I teach in Ontario at a Community Centre. I'm always falling short on men to come out to learn how to dance.

Guys, do you have any suggestions (clean ones) that I could use/try to entice guys to come out to lead some ladies?

I always thought guys knew a lady loves a man who knows how to dance! ;)

http://www.salsastories.com/stories_a-b/beginners_hell.html

This pretty much covers several reasons why guys are scared of starting dance classes. If only most guys realized that the end result is something that has to be earned and not expect to be "good" overnight, then that might help.

Other than promising the guys that women will not be able to keep their hands off them when they are able to hold their own, I can't really think of any simpler incentive. I find that that the ratio of guys/girls is almost always skewed towards more women so you would think this is a good thing as far as the guys are concerned. I've had a few comments from other male friends of mine similar to what Twilight_Elena but most of them quickly change their minds when they see how many women I get to dance with ;)

--T

[Josh]

This will not be very encouraging, but... while things like the social aspect of dancing, exercise, meeting women, and so forth may initially get men to go dancing, none of those things will ultimately keep them there. They must love dancing for dancing, and must love the music. With that said, the initial 'hook' is very important--I was taken to my first salsa club by a girlfriend, and many others have had similar experiences.

Now, if your goal is just to get men to actually come out and do it, then the other reasons given by many may be sufficient.

[SalsaManiac]

This will not be very encouraging, but... while things like the social aspect of dancing, exercise, meeting women, and so forth may initially get men to go dancing, none of those things will ultimately keep them there. They must love dancing for dancing, and must love the music. With that said, the initial 'hook' is very important--I was taken to my first salsa club by a girlfriend, and many others have had similar experiences.

Now, if your goal is just to get men to actually come out and do it, then the other reasons given by many may be sufficient.

Amen to that!

--T

[KiwiMambo]

That's the problem with group classes. You are often short woman or short men. Then when there are an even number of people, you get a mismatch in levels between students. So the better students stop coming which produces that imbalance again. If the imbalance keeps happening, you start losing some of your students. I can think of these ways to help with the problem:

Keep a contact list of students. Any time you have an imbalance, call them and offer them a free class or free classes for that session.

Pre-registration and strict requirements as to what class you can attend (beginners cannot attend intermediate classes). If you don't get a close to even number of people or a sufficient number of people, that session is cancelled until further notice. This is hard to do though if you are trying to make a living off teaching.

[KiwiMambo]

This is how I got into dancing. I studied Martial Arts for 18 years. Then I took a two year break to race cars (legally on a race track). Then it dawned on me I didn't meet many girls because my hobbies were male dominated. A lady friend told me to take dance lessons. I looked at her weird and said "you have got to be kidding". Besides the nightclub scene was never my thing. One evening she dragged me to the club lesson at the Marriot. I had fun because I like learning art forms and wow all the girls that were there. I then started taking lessons at a studio and got hooked on it. With limited free time, I had to make a decision to go back to Martial Arts or continue with dancing. Both activities involved studying an art form which is my true passion. With martial arts I get to practice with a bunch of sweaty guys. With dancing I get to practice with nice girls. Well the decision was a no brainer...

Go to every Martial Arts studio in town while they are holding their evening class. There will be mostly men in those classes. Place a flyer on every car in the parking lot for a free Salsa lesson.

[waltzgirl]

When I've gone to a club or bar that has a salsa lesson before the dance music starts, there are usually quite a few men--not always even numbers, but not bad. I think a lot of non-dancing guys are more comfortable going to a club or bar where the class is part of an evening, rather than going to a "dance class." Maybe you could see if you could do some classes like that and advertise your community center classes. Some guys might switch over, once they've had an intro to salsa.

[dgcasey]

I always thought guys knew a lady loves a man who knows how to dance! ;)

I've come to the conclusion that, even if a guy does figure out that women love to dance, they won't give a care about that. They're not going to dance, no way, no how.

You could drop by my website and pick up a t-shirt that will get the message across. :D

[cornutt]

I've come to the conclusion that, even if a guy does figure out that women love to dance, they won't give a care about that. They're not going to dance, no way, no how.


Their loss... my gain! :D

[dgcasey]

Their loss... my gain! :D

I hear ya. Less men at the studio dance parties means more dances with more pretty ladies for me. ;)

[Josh]

With martial arts I get to practice with a bunch of sweaty guys. With dancing I get to practice with nice girls. Well the decision was a no brainer...

And if you're super lucky, the girls will be sweaty as well... :raisebro: grrrrrr.

[blueguitar322]

Well hmmm...

...as a 23-year old guy learning to dance, I'll tell you what did it for me.

(1) Seeing male friends/acquaintances of mine who could dance, enjoyed dancing, and were very masculine in their dancing (having a masculine role model is important...not the stereotypical frilly, limp-wristed, flamboyant guy who has obviously never watched a football game in his life)
(2) Seeing how much the girls would be grinning ear to ear while dancing with them...and seeing how dancing just heightens their femininity (which is very attractive)
(3) Jealousy of those guys (competition = motivating)
(4) Boredom sitting on the sidelines

A month and a half ago, I went to a swing dance social because they offered a 1hr lesson beforehand. The lesson was rushed, barely learned anything, sat watching almost the entire night...and decided that enough was enough. I was going to learn. Walked into class the next week having no experience and no friends to keep me coming, and - miracle of miracles - found it was actually fun!

What keeps (and hopefully will keep) me dancing?
(1) Those ladies who understand beginner's hell, but will stumble through a dance with me with a huge grin on their face. One of the instructors last night (she wasn't teaching, there were more guys than girls so she was pulled in to help) was just beaming the whole time. As I'm a beginner, I dance more mistakes than good moves, but it didn't seem to phase her. It's people like that who do more to keep me motivated than anything.
(2) And competition (of course) with other guys to see who can improve the fastest (not just # of combinations...styling, leading, form, etc)...but this pales in comparison to #1.

- Dave

[Ron Obvious]

This is how I got into dancing. I studied Martial Arts for 18 years. Then I took a two year break to race cars (legally on a race track). Then it dawned on me I didn't meet many girls because my hobbies were male dominated. A lady friend told me to take dance lessons. I looked at her weird and said "you have got to be kidding". Besides the nightclub scene was never my thing. One evening she dragged me to the club lesson at the Marriot. I had fun because I like learning art forms and wow all the girls that were there. I then started taking lessons at a studio and got hooked on it. With limited free time, I had to make a decision to go back to Martial Arts or continue with dancing. Both activities involved studying an art form which is my true passion. With martial arts I get to practice with a bunch of sweaty guys. With dancing I get to practice with nice girls. Well the decision was a no brainer...

This is also how I got involved in salsa dancing. I had pratised Karate for 13 years when one of my female friends dragged me to a bar where they had salsa lessons. I would basically had time for both karate and salsa, but the style of karate evolved into something I don't like, so I started emphasizing on salsa instead. At first it felt really weird to go to salsa classes alone, and I needed a female or male friend, but now it's perfectly normal. I sometimes miss the physical training karate gives you, dancing doesn't come near even in its sweatiest forms, but it's good for the other reasons you stated.

Guys won't start dancing lessons by themselves, we need help. Yes, martial arts classes have mostly sweaty guys, but they do provide a good social setting. It's harder to get socially into a salsa group.

[KiwiMambo]

I sometimes miss the physical training karate gives you, dancing doesn't come near even in its sweatiest forms, but it's good for the other reasons you stated.

Yeah, I miss the intensity of Karate. I miss training with people that are always striving to improve. In Martial Arts, you either quit or stay at it and continue to improve always reaching for that next level of mastery. In Salsa most folks just do a few months worth of lessons and that's it. They are happy staying at that level. They just want to know enough to have fun socially. Nothing wrong with that. I do have a dance partner so I can get a decent sweat session going but I have to limit the intensity because she is not accustomed to that work ethic. She thinks we are really training hard but I tell her I'm actually in cruise mode. I recently took up African Dance and that is very similar to intensity as Martial Arts. I sometimes wonder if there is demand for hard Salsa training to improve one for social dancing (rather than performing). That is the way I would like to teach one day. I'm sure I wouldn't get that many students, but boy would they be good.

[SalsaManiac]

I'm somewhat impressed with the number of guys here who have a martial arts background ... I also studied karate (shotokan) for roughly 4 yrs and totally agree with KiwiMambo as to the 'quit-or-improve' mentality of karate. I suppose it has helped me a lot subconsciously with salsa because I am not content to plateau unlike most of the other salsa dancers in my neck of the woods.

--T

[Ron Obvious]

I'm somewhat impressed with the number of guys here who have a martial arts background ... I also studied karate (shotokan) for roughly 4 yrs and totally agree with KiwiMambo as to the 'quit-or-improve' mentality of karate. I suppose it has helped me a lot subconsciously with salsa because I am not content to plateau unlike most of the other salsa dancers in my neck of the woods.

--T

Yeah, but I think a karate background would be even more beneficial for followers, because that you must never anticipate a move is central to the philosophy of karate (wadoryo-style at least). And that must help a lot to following, I believe.

[danzur]

Thank you all for such wonderful insight! I have posted on our City Intranet site and also my group site (for my students). Too bad I will be away this weekend or I would do the flyer on cars thing. Maybe if I put an ad in the newspaper that will help as well...

Thank you for the different perspectives! :D

Cassandra

[sweavo]

When I started teaching a class at my local university, we had a reasonable number of men show up but LOADS of women. A couple of weeks later numbers were flagging and the ratio was more than 2 women to men. I told those guys to tell their room-mates that THIS was where the chicks were at! Either here or the library! Next week there were plenty of guys. I think that attitude, although jokey, also helped the guys legitimimize their own enjoyment... allowed them to give a joke manly answer if challenged by gruntish friends.

[DensterNY]

I think for guys learning how to dance is one of those things that in the back of your mind you'd like to do but most don't want to enroll in a class or take the time doing it. Guys know that women are impressed with a guy that can dance and that knowing how to dance will likely allow you to meet a lot more women. However, there's the fear of looking like a fool because you're learning something new that you may be clumsly and awkward at and also because dancing is supposed to be about personal expression... so if you think you look like Elaine on Seinfeld what does that mean? hehe

I remember the trepidation that I had going to my first class which I was pushed to take by a girlfriend who is a Salsa nut. I was a little nervous about the whole deal and didn't want to look like a klutz in front of people (without benefit of a darkened room, loud music and flashing lights) but I found out quickly that Salsa is surprisingly easy to begin and there was no mystery.

Perhaps, if you could communicate to guys how easy it is to begin Salsa then maybe there would be less anxiety about taking it up. Maybe offer up a group discount so that a few friends could participate together or offer to set up socials too so that after they've learned to dance they don't have to be the random new guy at a club.

[SalsAlx]

It's funny, here (in Houston of all places) the problem is just the opposite. Too many guys and note enough girls. Explain THAT!

The best way to entice guys to learn to dance? GIRLS! Girls loves to dance, and dancing is THE BEST icebreaker I've ever known. There are LOTS of girls I'd NEVER talk to on my own. But I'll ask her to dance.

Now, tell me how to entice GIRLS to dance, and to KEEP dancing. I've found that there are often extra girls in the beginning classes, but they lose interest after they reach the intermediate level. If they can follow and style reasonably well, they feel that they don't have anything left to learn. They go out to clubs and can have a blast dancing with almost all of the guys.

[sweavo]

Now, tell me how to entice GIRLS to dance, and to KEEP dancing. I've found that there are often extra girls in the beginning classes, but they lose interest after they reach the intermediate level. If they can follow and style reasonably well, they feel that they don't have anything left to learn. They go out to clubs and can have a blast dancing with almost all of the guys.



New York Style. They need more and more kickass technique to dance with the more and more kickass leaders.

Shines. Give the girls some hopscotch they can be getting on with when there are no spare leaders at the club.

An inspiring role model. A follow who styles and shines and follows AND whose hair is always perfect and who never sweats and who has an astrophysics degree AND who is a really lovely person ... well Ok, maybe just the first few... but after a follower can follow moves to the level of the best local leaders, you need to engage her interest with all the stuff she can do to fill in the gaps in the moves. shoulders, hips, butt, arms, head... there's plenty for her to be getting on with...

[Catarina]

Well, I'm proud to say that a guy I've known since high school (almost 10 years now), who has always been fiercely proud of the fact that not only did he not know how to dance, but that he had no desire to learn or to pretend he knew how, went with me to a beginning salsa class today! I can't take any credit for him wanting to go, other than giving him an opportunity to, as the real reason he finally wants to learn how to dance is this:
his younger sister gets married next year and he does not want to let her down by refusing to dance at her wedding! Gotta say that's as great a reason as any to learn how to dance :) Let's just hope he keeps going!

[raindreamer]

One of my co workers always says he will never never dance. In fact, one time he said that he would rather kiss a poison python than dance with a girl. But the thing is, he goes this church, and he says they are having some sort of prom thingee (with some sort of dance) and he's going (because everyone he knows is going), but he won't dance, so i want to come and bring him a poison python. We should make a deal. If he is manly enough to kiss the poison python, he is forever exempt from dancing, and no one is allowed to ever ask him to dance. But if he won't do it, he must dance with single woman there !! hahahaha (does anyone have any pythons for me to borrow ??? )

[englezul]

One of my co workers always says he will never never dance. In fact, one time he said that he would rather kiss a poison python than dance with a girl. But the thing is, he goes this church, and he says they are having some sort of prom thingee (with some sort of dance) and he's going (because everyone he knows is going), but he won't dance, so i want to come and bring him a poison python. We should make a deal. If he is manly enough to kiss the poison python, he is forever exempt from dancing, and no one is allowed to ever ask him to dance. But if he won't do it, he must dance with single woman there !! hahahaha (does anyone have any pythons for me to borrow ??? )


www.rentapoisonpython.com (http://www.rentapoisonpython.com) :)

Yeah, I'm actually pretty supportive about men that can't/won't learn/and have no clue about how to dance. Less competition out there :)).

[Steve]

One of the studios here gives a discount for couples who register together. So you give the women additional incentive to drag guys with them :)

[Indiana_Jay]

I've come to the conclusion that, even if a guy does figure out that women love to dance, they won't give a care about that. They're not going to dance, no way, no how.

I think that's right. A lot of it is a (mis)perception that dancing is a feminine thing, not a "macho" thing. For some guys with this idea, it doesn't matter that they might connect with more women by dancing, because they're not willing to give up their macho image, even for that.

An I agree with another person who mentioned the fear of looking bad. Again, its an image thing.

Find a way to counter those two issues ("dancing isn't manly" and "I'll look like a fool") and you might have the key to attracting more men to class.

Seems like Jerry Rice and Emmit Smith would have done enough by now to deal with these issues, but apparently not.

As for me, I was required to earn a few hours of phyiscal education credit to get my college degree. At the time, I was quite unathletic and the social dance classes offered the dual benefits of 1.) easily getting the phys. ed. credit and 2.) meeting women. Whenever any of my male buddies asked what the heck I was doing in dance class, I gave the a macho answer related to the fact that I was far outnumbered there by hot babes.

-IJ

[kayak]

It's funny, here (in Houston of all places) the problem is just the opposite. Too many guys and note enough girls. Explain THAT!

The best way to entice guys to learn to dance? GIRLS! Girls loves to dance, and dancing is THE BEST icebreaker I've ever known. There are LOTS of girls I'd NEVER talk to on my own. But I'll ask her to dance.

Now, tell me how to entice GIRLS to dance, and to KEEP dancing. I've found that there are often extra girls in the beginning classes, but they lose interest after they reach the intermediate level. If they can follow and style reasonably well, they feel that they don't have anything left to learn. They go out to clubs and can have a blast dancing with almost all of the guys.

Do you find there are more guys than girls at non-salsa dances?

[Big10]

Do you find there are more guys than girls at non-salsa dances?
I live in Houston also and, yes, there tend to be more men than women at all kinds of clubs and/or dance venues. It's just the way the demographics are in this city overall. Many, many more single men than single women.

[GTO Bruin]

It's funny, here (in Houston of all places) the problem is just the opposite. Too many guys and note enough girls. Explain THAT!

The best way to entice guys to learn to dance? GIRLS! Girls loves to dance, and dancing is THE BEST icebreaker I've ever known. There are LOTS of girls I'd NEVER talk to on my own. But I'll ask her to dance.

Now, tell me how to entice GIRLS to dance, and to KEEP dancing. I've found that there are often extra girls in the beginning classes, but they lose interest after they reach the intermediate level. If they can follow and style reasonably well, they feel that they don't have anything left to learn. They go out to clubs and can have a blast dancing with almost all of the guys.


I live in the Baltimore/DC area, and I find the same phenomenon: More women in the group beginner classes - More men in group intermediate/adv. classes. Once some women have learned right and left turns, cross body leads with turns and a few other leadable moves, they often just go to clubs and learn by dancing socially with good leads, or they migrate to privates and/or workshops. Men on the other hand will continue with with group classes to build a portfolio of combinations.

A female friend of mine explained to me that if a class focus is to learn a new combination, some women feel that they become props for leaders to learn how to lead the combination, rather than improving their following skills or individual technique.

Here, more often than not, an intermediate/adv. class is all about new combinations. Rarely there is a class on shines or specific technique. By watching the number of intermediate leads here (myself included), it's obvious we could all use more instruction on technique. Hell, I've forgotten more combinations than I've learned, and I still don't look advanced. Guess it's time for some privates.

[kayak]

Yea, I think one of the most amusing thing about dancing is that many many more women want to dance than guys. However, leading falls to the guy and he really has to have a handle on a pattern before he can lead it. Seems kind of backwards doesn't it?

Even if there are more guys in the more advanced classes, the number of women at dance clubs around my area is always greater than the number of guys. The only place that isn't true is right next to the military bases.