Dance Instructor Christmas Gift/Tip?

[tango]

During the Christmas season I like to give and make people happy. I tip the paperboy, hair dresser, give money to the poor etc. etc. Does anyone tip or give a gift to their instructor(s) and if so how much is appropriate or what kind of gift is appropriate?

[pygmalion]

Hi tango! There are some good gift suggestions under the Dance Gifts thread. And back when I was at a franchised studio with a bunch of teachers, I gave my main teacher a fairly large gift, and everyone else gift cards at Best Buy -- so they could buy a CD or whatever they wanted. That worked out well.

[bonz]

I have been taking classes for 3 months. I have a wonderful instuctor and would like to give her a nice and appropriate Chstrimas gift. Any suggestion?

[pygmalion]

Hi bonz. Welcome. :D

[dTas]

welcome Bonz

music? a CD?

i don't know where you are so i'm not sure if this applies but...

does she complain about being cold in the studio? if you are up north somewhere then it is possible that the studio is cold. you could get her some gloves or hand warmers or a nice warm scarf that she could wear during her lesson. nothing so big that its imposing but something stylish but functional.

[Purr]

Hi, bonz :D

Maybe a gift certificate to her favorite restaurant or store?

[dTas]

a gift certificate is a good idea... how about to a spa or beauty shop?

[Freya]

How about a small present, something dance related. Just a thought: Maybe a musical box with a dancer on it, something maybe a little bit old fashioned but always nice and romaaaantic...
I'm an instructor myself. I assure you I would get this :oops: colour on my face.

[dTas]

but is a romantic gift a good idea?

[Another Elizabeth]

One year, I got my instructor a gift basket from the Body Shop with their peppermint foot lotion, a pumice stone, and some other foot care items.

[MacMoto]

This thread has reminded me... wasn't Danoo going to get something for his teacher for Christmas (since he missed her birthday by a mile)? Wonder what he's chosen?

I like Body Shop gift baskets. Well, it doesn't have to be Body Shop -- I like little toiletry gift baskets, either for giving or receiving.

[etchuck]

I've given all my dance instructors a dance calendar with pictures of our team. Granted some of the instructors are married to each other, so I hope it wasn't too cheap for me to give them both one gift. :?

[Sagitta]

Welcome to df Bonz. :D

Couple thoughts... There are many little dance related things that you can get. How well you know your teacher? Or do you know someone who knows her? That person may have a better idea of what to give that is meaningful. You also still have time to chat with your teacher about things and sort of ferret out what she may like...

[Swingolder]

Anything chocolate :D

[cocodrilo]

This thread has reminded me... wasn't Danoo going to get something for his teacher for Christmas (since he missed her birthday by a mile)? Wonder what he's chosen?

I like Body Shop gift baskets. Well, it doesn't have to be Body Shop -- I like little toiletry gift baskets, either for giving or receiving.
Yeah, check out the thread where everyone was giving gift ideas to Danoo.

I like Body Shop gift baskets, too! I'm still using stuff(mango body wash, yum!) I got from a friend not too long ago! :D

[Flat Shoes]

A gift certificate for foot massage. Perfect for dancers. :D

[Larinda McRaven]

CANDY! :D

[SDsalsaguy]

CANDY! :D
:lol:

...and welcome to the DF bonz & Freya! :D

[DancePoet]

CANDY! :D

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Now there's a short but exhuberant post! :)

[LauraB]

A gift certificate to Showtime Dance Shoes.

[mamboqueen]

What do you think Larinda wants??? *LOL*

[pygmalion]

I'm guessing chocolates. Somehow, I don't think she's requesting Pez dispensers from her students, although you never know. :roll: :wink:

[mamboqueen]

Perhaps Go-DIVA! *LOL* Just kidding, Larinda :lol:

[Sabor]

well.. if she's gorgeous an'all that.. how about i wrap myself up in a box and ribbons and ship the package to her address with a card from u.. :lol:

just kidding! :wink:

[Flat Shoes]

No, you didn't! :twisted:

[pygmalion]

I'm sure you're quite a tasty morsel, Sabor, but I think Larinda likes actual candies. :lol:

[standardgirl]

well.. if she's gorgeous an'all that.. how about i wrap myself up in a box and ribbons and ship the package to her address with a card from u.. :lol:


:lol: :lol: :lol:

[Twilight_Elena]

I got mine a 2005 Tweetie calendar. :P But she's 19 or so and adores Tweetie, so I'm excused.
I think those Body Shop baskets are neat gifts. It's also a matter of how close you are. Me and my teacher, we're all fuzzy. It must be the 2-3 years age difference...

Twilight Elena

[Pitt]

Do you guys buy Xmas presents for your dance teachers? I have my next lesson (private) on Friday and I am not sure what to do. Maybe I just get a Starbucks card w/ $25 on it.

[samina]

that's a nice idea, pitt!

i gave mine a bottle of my favorite champange last night... nicolas feuillete brut rose. he got lots of booze from his students. when he's back from xmas holiday in slovakia, he'll be able to tie one on every night of the week if he wishes!

lol

[little_mouse]

I found out my instructor just bought a new house, so I got him a $25 Gift Card at Home Depot.

[SPratt74]

I started a thread not to long ago, and I had some great responses. It's http://www.dance-forums.com/showthread.php?t=14726&highlight=gifts+teachers. Have fun! ;)

[tunape]

I started a thread not to long ago, and I had some great responses. It's http://www.dance-forums.com/showthread.php?t=14726&highlight=gifts+teachers. Have fun! ;)

related, what about gifts for partners? partners who are dating, those who you are not dating, etc...?

[SPratt74]

related, what about gifts for partners? partners who are dating, those who you are not dating, etc...?

Good question! I don't know for I only dance and compete with my dance teacher. ;)

[misteria]

hhmm.. that's a tricky one ;)
I don't have a partner, but I assume it would be like getting something for a friend / date, depending on your relationship

[Another Elizabeth]

I got a pumice stone and a big bottle of the peppermint foot lotion from The Body Shop one year, which was well received.

[fascination]

books, fruit of the month from harry and david, dance shirts, gift cards, $$$$, his favorite tea and hot chocolate, candles which he burns regularly, CDs, stuff about his favorite sports teams and hobbies....certificate for dance shoes...

[contracheck]

books, fruit of the month from harry and david, dance shirts, gift cards, $$$$, his favorite tea and hot chocolate, candles which he burns regularly, CDs, stuff about his favorite sports teams and hobbies....certificate for dance shoes...
How about a mink coat or multi-carat diamond ear rings?

[fascination]

I didn't mean all in one holiday or occasion...and I would never treat him like that...and personally find your remark offensive

[tanya_the_dancer]

I usually give gift cards for Target.

[and123]

Hmmmm, after paying mega $$$$ for privates, there isn't much left for such purchases (luxury items like diamonds and furs that is....)

(I do believe I smell your sarcasm tho :p )

[contracheck]

Hmmmm, after paying mega $$$$ for privates, there isn't much left for such purchases (luxury items like diamonds and furs that is....)

(I do believe I smell your sarcasm tho :p )

It seems that you don't understand men. Men do anything to make their teachers/partners/women look best in the crowd. Speaking of smell, on a more serious note, what perfumes you upscale ladies consider best?

[Anna]

Hmm...then I wonder why my partner hasn't given me a Chrisanne yet :raisebro:

And I think it would seem weird to give your dance teacher perfume? (Or your partner if you were not in a relationship).

I gave my partner cookies. For our coach's birthday, we gave her a huge stuffed animal tiger (our school's mascot) she had been admiring.

[contracheck]

Hmm...then I wonder why my partner hasn't given me a Chrisanne yet :raisebro:

And I think it would seem weird to give your dance teacher perfume? (Or your partner if you were not in a relationship).
Would you rather have sweaty body odor? IMHO, good smell begats good dsancing. i still like to have a list of good perfumes that queens, princesses, and top female stars use.

[contracheck]

Hmm...then I wonder why my partner hasn't given me a Chrisanne yet :raisebro:

Well, your partner is not a classy man, and you should seriously consider replacing him. Now, you tell him to read this post, and you may get your angel skin Chrissane dress.

[chachachikka]

That's a very good question, I was wondering the same thing... should I get my dance partner anything for x-mas, and if so what? I thought about getting him a shoe brush... cuz I'm not sure if he has one... cuz he always uses the one at the studio that sits on the desk for student-use... so I don't actually know if he owns his own, would it be silly for me to ask him if he has one and then get one for him if he doesn't? Too obvious?

[Joe]

I bet your teacher would appreciate you buying more lessons...

[saludas]

That's a very good question, I was wondering the same thing... should I get my dance partner anything for x-mas, and if so what? I thought about getting him a shoe brush... cuz I'm not sure if he has one... cuz he always uses the one at the studio that sits on the desk for student-use... so I don't actually know if he owns his own, would it be silly for me to ask him if he has one and then get one for him if he doesn't? Too obvious?

If he already has access to one, why would he need another?

[and123]

Well, my partner is constantly asking to borrow mine (especially at comps), so perhaps it would be nice if he had his own, especially if ChaChaChikka and partner practice away from the studio w/the "community" shoe brush.

[contracheck]

I usually give gift cards for Target.
If I were you, I'd rather get a Nieman Marcus gift card. If insulting your coach is your purpose, I'd get Wal-Mart's.

[contracheck]

That's a very good question, I was wondering the same thing... should I get my dance partner anything for x-mas, and if so what? I thought about getting him a shoe brush... cuz I'm not sure if he has one... cuz he always uses the one at the studio that sits on the desk for student-use... so I don't actually know if he owns his own, would it be silly for me to ask him if he has one and then get one for him if he doesn't? Too obvious?
Why all this decision making torture you're imposing upon yourself? You don't have to give your partner anything, unless he is considering giving you one.

[waltzgirl]

If I were you, I'd rather get a Nieman Marcus gift card. If insulting your coach is your purpose, I'd get Wal-Mart's.

Whoa! Back off, fella! Lots of us shop at Target (that's tar-ZHAY to the uninitiated).

[waltzgirl]

i still like to have a list of good perfumes that queens, princesses, and top female stars use.

And if we're going to get critical about other people's gift ideas, I strongly recommend against giving a woman a bottle of some expensive perfume just because it's got a name or a celebrity endorsement.

Most women are quite particular about the scents they wear. There's not only the question of how a perfume reacts with her individual chemistry, but the whole question of what scents she feels most attuned to and wants to incorporate into how she presents herself to the world.

Unless you know a woman well enough to know what perfume she regards as the olfactory expression of her innermost self, don't give perfume. A big ol' bottle of some generically expensive scent, that says only "$$$" or "X wears me!", is, frankly, a tad crass.

And now it's time for me to go to bed, before I get even crankier. Where's that "Bah, Humbug" thread?

[fluffy]

I think I've given all my dance partners cufflinks at some point! Sort of dance related but can be worn elsewhere.
For a male teacher we got vouchers, for our female teacher (also a good friend) I got the limited edition Dior bag charm with lip gloss, it's really pretty and was tempted to keep it myself!

Perfumes/aftershaves are personal, so I wouldn't go that route unless you know them very well!

[Peaches]

I'd have to be very close with a guy friend to feel OK about giving or receiving cologne/perfume from him. Girl-to-girl perfume stuff isn't as odd, but guy/girl, particularly if one or the other is married is just...way too close to crossing a line that shouldn't be crossed. Maybe I'm a prude, but I'd feel very uncomfortable. Likewise, I'd feel very uncomfortable if a girl gave DH cologne, unless I knew her very well. I'd be kinda annoyed smelling a scent on DH that another woman picked out.

There are exceptions to everything, but I certainly don't think cologne/perfume is particularly appropriate as a gift for a teacher. MAYBE for a partner...maybe.

Not to mention how dicey it is to actually pick a fragrance for another person--way way way too many things factor into it.

[fascination]

And if we're going to get critical about other people's gift ideas, I strongly recommend against giving a woman a bottle of some expensive perfume just because it's got a name or a celebrity endorsement.

Most women are quite particular about the scents they wear. There's not only the question of how a perfume reacts with her individual chemistry, but the whole question of what scents she feels most attuned to and wants to incorporate into how she presents herself to the world.

Unless you know a woman well enough to know what perfume she regards as the olfactory expression of her innermost self, don't give perfume. A big ol' bottle of some generically expensive scent, that says only "$$$" or "X wears me!", is, frankly, a tad crass.

And now it's time for me to go to bed, before I get even crankier. Where's that "Bah, Humbug" thread?
I agree...fragrance is very personal...and I have ended up using way too many well intended bottles as room deodarizer instead of perfume...I wear one particular fragrance...it is all that I wear...if someone took the time to find out what it was and wanted to buy it for me I would be elated...otherwise...nope...

[fascination]

reminds me of funny incident at Va state comp though....was meeting pro down in lobby for dinner and as always, got to lobby first....when he came out of the elevator he said, "I knew you would be here b/c I could smell that you had been in the elevator"...to my relief he assured me that it wasn't b/c the scent was too strong but rather, that he just happens to smell it several hours a week...

[fascination]

If I were you, I'd rather get a Nieman Marcus gift card. If insulting your coach is your purpose, I'd get Wal-Mart's.
ya know...I would hope that anyone recieving a gift would be classy enough to recieve it in the spirit in which it has been given....I would rather recieve something homemade or heartflt, than something that was expensive just for the sake of impressing me b/c it won't...I know too many millionaires who are total jerks

[fascination]

I bet your teacher would appreciate you buying more lessons...
precisely...most of the pros I know aren't in the market for furs and diamonds...they are in the market to pay their mortgages and the like

[Peaches]

ya know...I would hope that anyone recieving a gift would be classy enough to recieve it in the spirit in which it has been given....I would rather recieve something homemade or heartflt, than something that was expensive just for the sake of impressing me b/c it won't...I know too many millionaires who are total jerks

Reminds me of the scene from Father of the Bride where the girl calls off the wedding b/c her fiance gets her a blender as a present. She's upset b/c she's thinking that he wants a 50's stay-at-home wife, and how does he see her, and and whatnot...and all he was thinking was that she like to make smoothies or something.

[Peaches]

reminds me of funny incident at Va state comp though....was meeting pro down in lobby for dinner and as always, got to lobby first....when he came out of the elevator he said, "I knew you would be here b/c I could smell that you had been in the elevator"...to my relief he assured me that it wasn't b/c the scent was too strong but rather, that he just happens to smell it several hours a week...

I've had something similar w/ my teacher's cologne. I'd never even really noticed what he smells like...until one time I smelled "his scent" and automatically knew it as such. Turns out it wasn't him, but someone else with the same cologne. (This was on the metro.) Kinda freaky at the time, b/c I would have sworn it was him, until I turned around.

[fascination]

well ...now there is a jewel to cling to throughout the holiday season...anticipate the motivations of others in kindness...gasp

[contracheck]

And if we're going to get critical about other people's gift ideas, I strongly recommend against giving a woman a bottle of some expensive perfume just because it's got a name or a celebrity endorsement.

Most women are quite particular about the scents they wear. There's not only the question of how a perfume reacts with her individual chemistry, but the whole question of what scents she feels most attuned to and wants to incorporate into how she presents herself to the world.

I just want to have a list of great perfumes. I have no plan to give perfume to anyone. Nixon once said that his wife Pat used a perfume that cost $400/half oz. What perfume could be so expensive?

[fascination]

I've had something similar w/ my teacher's cologne. I'd never even really noticed what he smells like...until one time I smelled "his scent" and automatically knew it as such. Turns out it wasn't him, but someone else with the same cologne. (This was on the metro.) Kinda freaky at the time, b/c I would have sworn it was him, until I turned around.yea...it can be really wierd when someone you actually dislike strolls by with dh's scent on....it just sends my brain and my nose into cognitive dissonance...as for pro...he just smells like tide...

[contracheck]

I agree...fragrance is very personal...and I have ended up using way too many well intended bottles as room deodarizer instead of perfume...I wear one particular fragrance...it is all that I wear...if someone took the time to find out what it was and wanted to buy it for me I would be elated...otherwise...nope...
I never knew that buying perfume is such an intricate issue. I don't have bloodhound's nose and all perfumes smell the same to me.

[Larinda McRaven]

As for perfume I wore the same one since I was 15. I never did, nor would have worn anything else. In the last year I switched to another scent because my old one was discontinued. But a perfume gift would be wasted on me.

Over the years I have recieved lots of things from students, ranging from pretty earrings/bracelets/necklaces, candy/baked goods, wine/alcohol, lotion/soap baskets, scarf/hat/gloves, stuffed animals, gift cards, candles/incense, video/dvds, blanket/throws, clothes, tea collections, computer games/hardware, plants, stained glass art, fruit of the month, music cds, concert/show tickets... I look around my home and see many things that came from students. One student every year for the past several has given my a $100 gift certificate for Pet Supplies Plus. It became a running joke that I simply went an bought $100 worth of kitty litter so I didn't have to keep going back to the store for the next 3 months.

Anything is a great gift, when a student brings you something your heart melts just a tiny bit and you feel all humble. I often feel like I should reciprocate, but with the sheer volume of students that pass my way I would be broke very quickly. So my question to you is... Do you expect or want anything in return? Do you feel slighted if you don't get a gift or card? I try to at least do Christmas and Hanukkah cards to my active and some memorable past students.

[contracheck]

...I know too many millionaires who are total jerks
There are also many nice millionaires, too. Have you heard the nice thing Donald Trump did lately? Besides, it does not take a millionaire to buy a mink coat these days.

[samina]

as for pro...he just smells like tide...

luv that clean smell.

my pro often slaps something on before class, but says he doesn't know what it is... twice i've had the experience of being around someone who wears something similar and it's always a little disconcerting. that pavlovian response, y'know? makes me want to assume the tango hold...

lolol

[fascination]

as I said, unless my pro was a studio owner who was raking in a b'jillion dollars from my lesson pkgs, I wouldn't expect anything...I know that my pro and most of the others that I know are not dripping with spare cash...he has a handful of us who dance several times a week and compete several times a year for whom he generally makes something because he is handy(I do not think he does that for more sporadic students).... beyond that, I would be thrilled with a card that had a compliment in it...or ten minutes over a cup of hot cocoa...I never never expect anything from him, and I would feel horrible if he felt obligated to reciprocate...as for thanks you's, a card would be nice but not neccessary, a thank you in person would suffice...when I get neither, it hurts a little, but I'd never say so...and generally speaking, I get thanked

[fascination]

There are also many nice millionaires, too. Have you heard the nice thing Donald Trump did lately? Besides, it does not take a millionaire to buy a mink coat these days.
;) yes, there are...as for minks, dunno...not interested...(ballgowns are another issue)

[alemana]

I made a deal with my coach that we wouldn't exchange gifts this year cuz we're both sort of strapped - we sometimes bake for each other and I said we should do something casual like that later in the year, or whatever, and he happily agreed.

But secretly I went in with 2 of his other students to get him a very nice gift which would've been much less had I bought it alone. We got a gift certificate to an electronics store so he could buy a video camera to use for his own dancing and ours :) We also took him out.

I liked going in with the other students. It made the moment of giving the gift feel a little less awkward and also created a bond (that didn't exist before) between the three of us, which as many pro-am dancers know, is important. I know he doesn't feel the need to reciprocate over and above our original agreement, and I like that too.

[Larinda McRaven]

Perhaps several students could go in together to get a gift cert to one of the top designers so the teacher is one step closer to another gown or latin pants or tail suit.

[fascination]

I never knew that buying perfume is such an intricate issue. I don't have bloodhound's nose and all perfumes smell the same to me.hmmm...well a fragrance can be spicey or floral or citris or musky or crisp...and even in floral , it can be sweet or deep like roses or light...or whatever....and yea, it really matters, IMO....btw...there is a thread on this in one of the lower forums if you do a search....

[contracheck]

precisely...most of the pros I know aren't in the market for furs and diamonds...they are in the market to pay their mortgages and the like

Nothing is truer thatn your post if most of the pros you know are males.

[fascination]

Perhaps several students could go in together to get a gift cert to one of the top designers so the teacher is one step closer to another gown or latin pants or tail suit.we did this toward the new tailsuit last year...not all of it mind you, but some

[samina]

But secretly I went in with 2 of his other students to get him a very nice gift which would've been much less had I bought it alone. We got a gift certificate to an electronics store so he could buy a video camera to use for his own dancing and ours :) We also took him out.

aaaahhh... this is the expensive gift you were talking about before, which you weren't supposed to get but which benefits you as well? *brill*iant! a most excellent decision...

gonna share those vids with us?
;)

[fascination]

Nothing is truer thatn your post if most of the pros you know are males.meh, the women I know worry about their bills too;)

[Larinda McRaven]

actually more so than the male teachers

[Dancebug]

So my question to you is... Do you expect or want anything in return? Do people still do thank you cards? Do you feel slighted if you don't get a gift or card? I try to at least do Christmas and Hanukkah cards to my active and some memorable past students.
Our current coaches send us a card. Our former coaches used to give us a card and a small (hand-made) bag of chocolates from their country. (Our female coach is a excellent seamstress.) We do/did not expect anything from them, and we would have been perfectly Ok without getting anything from them. They do a wonderful job for us, teaching anyway. But because we did not expect anything from them, the card/gift is doubly appreciated.

Speaking about giving gifts to the teachers, we noticed that our caoches get too many junks, By junks, I mean they are nice, but not so useful to them sometimes. We contributed to that trend for a while, too by getting them things like china, candle holders, etc. This year we told ourselves that we needed to stop this, so we got consumable--some exotic fruit.

[Peaches]

Anything is a great gift, when a student brings you something your heart melts just a tiny bit and you feel all humble.

Really? I wouldn't have thought it would mean that much... I mean, as a student, I've got all of 1 teacher, who's a a very important person in my life, in a certain way. (Technically, I've got 2 teachers, but speaking as a generic student.)

But I'd have thought that for a teacher with lots of students I'd just be yet another student. Another face, another lesson slot, with nothing much to distinguish one of from another...unless there was something unusal to differentiate us. Really good, really bad, excessive numbers of lessons, a quirky habit...whatever. Not that it's a bad thing, I just realize that I'm paying my teacher to "spend time" with me--he's not doing it b/c he particularly enjoys my company. It's a job, and that's fine.

Similarly, I wouldn't have thought that a gift or card from me would mean that much.

I often feel like I should reciprocate, but with the sheer volume of students that pass my way I would be broke very quickly. So my question to you is... Do you expect or want anything in return? Do you feel slighted if you don't get a gift or card? I try to at least do Christmas and Hanukkah cards to my active and some memorable past students.

I don't want or expect anything. It's pretty much tied to the first part of this response. Remembering to say "Happy Holidays!" or asking if I had a nice holiday is nice, but unnecessary. I don't expect to be treated as a friend. Friendly is nice, b/c it makes the working environment nicer, but that's all.

Like I said, and hopefully this isn't insulting or too crass, I "spend time" with my teachers b/c I pay them for it. I pay them to teach me--not to be nice or my friend. If we become friendly, then, bonus. I generally have a good time in lessons, but that's b/c I like dancing and learning. I don't expect that my teachers are having a good time, or enjoying it. I hope they're not hating or dreading the time teaching me. A lot of it is just business...I'd have figured it would feel the same on the other end of the equation...so I'd never feel slighted for lack of reciprocation.

[contracheck]

But secretly I went in with 2 of his other students to get him a very nice gift which would've been much less had I bought it alone. We got a gift certificate to an electronics store so he could buy a video camera to use for his own dancing and ours :) We also took him out.

I liked going in with the other students. It made the moment of giving the gift feel a little less awkward and also created a bond (that didn't exist before) between the three of us, which as many pro-am dancers know, is important. I know he doesn't feel the need to reciprocate over and above our original agreement, and I like that too.
This is a super idea. Unlike female students, however, I think male students (like myself) will never arrange such a thing. I don't know why, but we are not cut out to do such a thing together.

[mamboqueen]

One studio I went to sent out some cute cards of the staff dressed in santa gear, but that's the only studio I've been to that has done that. I understand it's time consuming and a lot of studios don't have the staffing to do much of the administrative work. I do think it's a nice gesture...and lots of other businesses do it to acknowledge good customers. I don't expect it, though.

I will have to say what I got my teacher some time next week after I actually give it to him....as it may get back to him if I post it here!

[Larinda McRaven]

This is a super idea. Unlike female students, however, I think male students (like myself) will never arrange such a thing. I don't know why, but we are not cut out to do such a thing together.

No perhaps you don't feel this way, but not exactly men in general. I had three very nice die hard competitive guy students that often went in together to do a nice gift basket filled with lots of fun little things for me.

[Larinda McRaven]

Really? I wouldn't have thought it would mean that much....

Sure it does. We don't exactly expect it. Perhaps we "get used to it", but we still know that you don't have to do it. It is as kind as a gift from anyone, no less because it comes from a student.

[alemana]

The other reason I liked the "going in together" thing was that it cut down on the number of "gift giving/receiving" moments my teacher had to have. We bundled it all up for him into one evening and got it over with. Otherwise all 3 of us would've asked for, and gotten, an occasion to ourselves. All of us have spent time outside the studio with the teacher, to varying degrees, and I am sure that if I were not as close to my teacher as I am or if our relationship was exclusively dance-related, the whole thing would've been more formal, less expensive and less heartfelt.

I am a big baker and I give tins of cookies to people every year. A 'secondary' or less intimate teacher would just get cookies and maybe a card - not that this is a letdown, mind you. I am a waaaay better cook than i am a dancer, my cookies are semi-legendary. I also give tins of cookies to the studio owners where I practice - it's good to keep in the good graces of useful people.

[mamboqueen]

I am a big baker and I give tins of cookies to people every year. -

I love getting cookies in the mail. And I don't even care if they're broken ;)

[DancePoet]

Do you guys buy Xmas presents for your dance teachers? I have my next lesson (private) on Friday and I am not sure what to do. Maybe I just get a Starbucks card w/ $25 on it.
I gave chocolates to my instructors once. :D

[DancePoet]

that's a nice idea, pitt!

i gave mine a bottle of my favorite champange last night... nicolas feuillete brut rose. he got lots of booze from his students. when he's back from xmas holiday in slovakia, he'll be able to tie one on every night of the week if he wishes!

lol
Hmmm ... or maybe a bottle of wine if they enjoy such things.

[gingerbread]

Every once in a while a teacher has given me a card with a personal message in it, reflecting on my dancing aspirations rather than just signing his name. That meant a lot. I know it takes time, but it is do-able and much appreciated.Mostly I am pleased when I have hit upon a good gift idea and I see the reaction. I don't think of it as a stricly business relationship, there is so much emotion involved in a dance partnerships, even teacher/student, and I give a gift because I am so appreciative of the time spent to help me develop as a dancer, I don't give a gift because I feel I have to.

[DancePoet]

books, fruit of the month from harry and david, dance shirts, gift cards, $$$$, his favorite tea and hot chocolate, candles which he burns regularly, CDs, stuff about his favorite sports teams and hobbies....certificate for dance shoes...
I try to stay away from giving $$$ to anyone, but the rest of those ideas all seem good.

[DancePoet]

How about a mink coat or multi-carat diamond ear rings?To a dance instructor?

[Katarzyna]

I try to stay away from giving $$$ to anyone, but the rest of those ideas all seem good.
On one hand its not always nice to give $$$, but one the other hand, its usually most useful for most teachers out there..

[DancePoet]

I usually give gift cards for Target.
I would find it tough to give a gift card to Target unless it was their favorite place to shop.

[DancePoet]

And I think it would seem weird to give your dance teacher perfume? (Or your partner if you were not in a relationship).

I gave my partner cookies. For our coach's birthday, we gave her a huge stuffed animal tiger (our school's mascot) she had been admiring.
I agree, perfume is a very personal gift, but if you know what they like, and you don't mind the smell either, perfume might be ok.

[DancePoet]

Gifts really are best on a case by case basis. :cool:

[DancePoet]

Most women are quite particular about the scents they wear. There's not only the question of how a perfume reacts with her individual chemistry, but the whole question of what scents she feels most attuned to and wants to incorporate into how she presents herself to the world.
The SO and I smelled one perfume and we both initially liked it. Then we tried it on her and it just didn't go. Perfume can be tricky.

[DancePoet]

I agree...fragrance is very personal...and I have ended up using way too many well intended bottles as room deodarizer instead of perfume...I wear one particular fragrance...it is all that I wear...if someone took the time to find out what it was and wanted to buy it for me I would be elated...otherwise...nope...
And that perfume is? :raisebro:

[DancePoet]

reminds me of funny incident at Va state comp though....was meeting pro down in lobby for dinner and as always, got to lobby first....when he came out of the elevator he said, "I knew you would be here b/c I could smell that you had been in the elevator"...to my relief he assured me that it wasn't b/c the scent was too strong but rather, that he just happens to smell it several hours a week...
It is neat to be able to smell a perfume and know who has made it or know who wears it. :cool:

[DancePoet]

precisely...most of the pros I know aren't in the market for furs and diamonds...they are in the market to pay their mortgages and the like
I wouldn't give furs and diamonds, yet paying their mortgage for Xmas seems unusual.

[Peaches]

I don't think of it as a stricly business relationship, there is so much emotion involved in a dance partnerships, even teacher/student, and I give a gift because I am so appreciative of the time spent to help me develop as a dancer, I don't give a gift because I feel I have to.

I know there are emotions involved on my end, but I'd never presume that there'd be any, of whatever sort, on his. I know I'm a part of his work life, not his "real" life.

Likewise, that is the same reason I give a gift to my teachers. That's why I always give a thank you card disguised as a xmas card, at least.

[DancePoet]

I never knew that buying perfume is such an intricate issue. I don't have bloodhound's nose and all perfumes smell the same to me.
Most unfortunate that your nose smells them all as the same. And another good reason to learn what a lady likes if you can't differentiate between them yourself.

[DancePoet]

Anything is a great gift, when a student brings you something your heart melts just a tiny bit and you feel all humble. I often feel like I should reciprocate, but with the sheer volume of students that pass my way I would be broke very quickly. So my question to you is... Do you expect or want anything in return? Do you feel slighted if you don't get a gift or card? I try to at least do Christmas and Hanukkah cards to my active and some memorable past students.
I give gifts out to folks as a reflection of their value in my life to me, and expect nothing in return. It is an expression of appreciation for the relationship I have with them or the special things they bring to me that enhance my life.

[DancePoet]

luv that clean smell.

my pro often slaps something on before class, but says he doesn't know what it is... twice i've had the experience of being around someone who wears something similar and it's always a little disconcerting. that pavlovian response, y'know? makes me want to assume the tango hold...

lolol
Tango can be a good thing. :raisebro:

[DancePoet]

I made a deal with my coach that we wouldn't exchange gifts this year cuz we're both sort of strapped - we sometimes bake for each other and I said we should do something casual like that later in the year, or whatever, and he happily agreed.

But secretly I went in with 2 of his other students to get him a very nice gift which would've been much less had I bought it alone. We got a gift certificate to an electronics store so he could buy a video camera to use for his own dancing and ours :) We also took him out.

I liked going in with the other students. It made the moment of giving the gift feel a little less awkward and also created a bond (that didn't exist before) between the three of us, which as many pro-am dancers know, is important. I know he doesn't feel the need to reciprocate over and above our original agreement, and I like that too.
Seems like a good approach. :cool:

[DancePoet]

Perhaps several students could go in together to get a gift cert to one of the top designers so the teacher is one step closer to another gown or latin pants or tail suit.
Neat idea!

[gingerbread]

I give gifts out to folks as a reflection of their value in my life to me, and expect nothing in return. It is an expression of appreciation for the relationship I have with them or the special things they bring to me that enhance my life.

so well said.

[LatinDancer006]

I bet your teacher would appreciate you buying more lessons...

Our chain studio has an event where you can take lessons on a particular day at a discounted rate and all that money goes directly to you teacher. That's what I did for mine.

[chandra]

Larinda, I would also never expect a gift in return. A card sounds like a really thoughtful wonderful thing to give :D, and in general I would be happy and surprised to get one.

[samina]

Tango can be a good thing. :raisebro:

yessiree... ballroom does has its perks <g> :raisebro:

[samina]

i just realized i missed the boat on pro's holiday gift... for what i spent on the champagne i coulda gotten him figure skates!

i had some unused from my youngest that i thought might fit him, but they were a skooch too small, and he was disappointed... said he really wanted some.

maaannn! :doh:

[LatinDancer006]

Really? I wouldn't have thought it would mean that much... I mean, as a student, I've got all of 1 teacher, who's a a very important person in my life, in a certain way. (Technically, I've got 2 teachers, but speaking as a generic student.)

But I'd have thought that for a teacher with lots of students I'd just be yet another student. Another face, another lesson slot, with nothing much to distinguish one of from another...unless there was something unusal to differentiate us. Really good, really bad, excessive numbers of lessons, a quirky habit...whatever. Not that it's a bad thing, I just realize that I'm paying my teacher to "spend time" with me--he's not doing it b/c he particularly enjoys my company. It's a job, and that's fine.

Similarly, I wouldn't have thought that a gift or card from me would mean that much.



I don't want or expect anything. It's pretty much tied to the first part of this response. Remembering to say "Happy Holidays!" or asking if I had a nice holiday is nice, but unnecessary. I don't expect to be treated as a friend. Friendly is nice, b/c it makes the working environment nicer, but that's all.

Like I said, and hopefully this isn't insulting or too crass, I "spend time" with my teachers b/c I pay them for it. I pay them to teach me--not to be nice or my friend. If we become friendly, then, bonus. I generally have a good time in lessons, but that's b/c I like dancing and learning. I don't expect that my teachers are having a good time, or enjoying it. I hope they're not hating or dreading the time teaching me. A lot of it is just business...I'd have figured it would feel the same on the other end of the equation...so I'd never feel slighted for lack of reciprocation.

Peaches, I share the same sentiment, or lack thereoof. :? The lessons cost a lot of money and I want my teacher to teach me to move not to try be my friend. It'd be nice if we're friends, but that's not what I'm paying for. You know, one of the best teachers I had in school was my calculus teacher. She was inspirational and pushed me to my potential. And I'm to this day very appreciative of that. But she was mean and gave us 2 hours of homework every day. Sometimes it makes me think twice about what a friend means.

[Peaches]

Hmmm...I think maybe my post came across wrong.

I welcome the chance to become friends with my teachers. Both inside and outside of lessons. I'm actually pretty good friends with one of mine, and I enjoy that, and it spills over to some degree in the lessons. It's not a "I spend a lot of money on you already and I'm not interested in becoming friends" kind of thing. It's more of a realistic, "I know I'm just part of your job to you."

I was trying to make the point that I don't presume they feel anything for me like what i feel for them. It's fne to me if they only consider me as $$$, so long as the instruction is good. I only ask for courtesy and professionalism. More than that is great, but I'm not naieve enough to think they want to be friends with me just b/c I'm greeted with a hug and a kiss.

My only hope, ever, is that they don't dread teaching/dancing with me in my lesson. If it ever comes to that, I'd want to be told that they'd prefer I found a different teacher.

[waltzgirl]

Really? I wouldn't have thought it would mean that much... I mean, as a student, I've got all of 1 teacher, who's a a very important person in my life, in a certain way. (Technically, I've got 2 teachers, but speaking as a generic student.)

But I'd have thought that for a teacher with lots of students I'd just be yet another student. Another face, another lesson slot, with nothing much to distinguish one of from another...unless there was something unusal to differentiate us. Really good, really bad, excessive numbers of lessons, a quirky habit...whatever. Not that it's a bad thing, I just realize that I'm paying my teacher to "spend time" with me--he's not doing it b/c he particularly enjoys my company. It's a job, and that's fine.

Similarly, I wouldn't have thought that a gift or card from me would mean that much.


I have a feeling you've never been a teacher. It's by no means as sterile an experience as your "another hour, another face" seems to suggest. I haven't taught dancing, but did a lot of one-to-one supervision of thesis projects and things like that that have a similar dynamic. Each student is a new challenge--to figure out how best to reach them and to bring out their best. There are all kinds of intangibles that each student brings to the situation that can make the teaching experience a joy or a misery. The dynamics of each teaching relationship are different and I can guarantee your teacher experiences each hour as very distinct experiences (unless he doesn't give a damn and is just phoning it in, which is a whole different story).

A student-teacher relationship is a category of relationship all to itself. It's not the same as a friendship, it's not a romance, it's its own thing. But it can be intense, emotional, even intimate within its appropriate boundaries.

I guess I also have a philosophical disagreement about what "a job" entails. Anyone doing any job invests something of themselves in it, beyond the basic content requirements of the task. IMO, it is not possible (and is even a bit insulting to think it is) to pay for those fragments of selfhood with money. They must be acknowledged in some more human way, and a gift is one way to do that.

Back to OP, I try to find a gift that reflects something of our recent dancing experience. The year he insisted I start pilates, I got him one of those foam roller things. This year, I managed to find something that involved both his favorite beverage and the theme of a recent showcase number we did.

[waltzgirl]

Peaches, I share the same sentiment, or lack thereoof. :? The lessons cost a lot of money and I want my teacher to teach me to move not to try be my friend. It'd be nice if we're friends, but that's not what I'm paying for. You know, one of the best teachers I had in school was my calculus teacher. She was inspirational and pushed me to my potential. And I'm to this day very appreciative of that. But she was mean and gave us 2 hours of homework every day. Sometimes it makes me think twice about what a friend means.

That's because a student-teacher relationship is not a friendship, it's its own thing.

Why is that such a difficult concept? (Not addressed to you specifically, but to the whole culture!)

[Peaches]

Nope never been a teacher. (Had to give some training classes for work, but I absolutely suck at it. It's not in my personality.)

It's odd for me to get used to the idea of being noticed at all. Teachers knew who I was in school b/c I was generally #1 in whatever class--hard to miss. But it's odd to think of being noticed at all, or standing out in whatever sense, in an arena where I'm blatantly (hopefully) average.

Besides. I'm outright friends with one teacher and his wife. With my other teacher, there seems to be more of a professional distance. I wish to respect that, out of respect for him. Maybe he doesn't give a damn, as you put it. That's fine by me, so long as the instruction is good. I just wouldn't want to presume that he actually cares--I'm a client, a customer...so long as I receive a product that I'm satisfied with, he doesn't have to care about me.

Which is not to say, "I pay for your time, I don't care if you care or not, dammit. Teach me and pretend for an hour." It's just that I would never assume that he enjoys it. Along the same lines, if I ever see him out social dancing (a rarity), I would never ever ask him to dance. His personal life is his personal life. I'd never want to assume that he'd be happy to dance with me.

I dunno...maybe I'm just weird (wierd?).

[samina]

A student-teacher relationship is a category of relationship all to itself. It's not the same as a friendship, it's not a romance, it's its own thing. But it can be intense, emotional, even intimate within its appropriate boundaries.

really well-said, waltzie.

it seems to me that the student-teacher relationship creates a container for a certain kind of intimacy, which may be very heart-felt, honest, and close. it has limits, but that doesn't mean there isn't intimacy & tenderness that can develop, even on the part of the teacher and without romantic involvement.

there are so many forms that love, intimacy, and friendship can take, y'know?

you're right... it's its own thing. i don't have any point of reference for the kind of relationship i have with my instructor. feels good to just let it be...

[musicchica86]

My only hope, ever, is that they don't dread teaching/dancing with me in my lesson. If it ever comes to that, I'd want to be told that they'd prefer I found a different teacher.

I had a nightmare about this very thing happening once...woke up sweating and with my heart pounding.:shock:

[tunape]

Do you expect or want anything in return? Do you feel slighted if you don't get a gift or card?

I think in a student-teacher relationship(esp. in Asian culture), a gift is usually a sign of respect. I certainly did not get gifts from my teachers until coming to the US, and it was weird at first!

[LucyDiamond]

yessiree... ballroom does has its perks <g> :raisebro:
Yes, indeed, it does!!!!! ;)

[samina]

:raisebro: :raisebro: :raisebro:

[alemana]

Upthread someone mentioned the fact that gifting practices vary by culture, and that's really important!

When I spent time living in Poland, I noticed that it was *extremely* important to give gifts. At the same time, the type of gift was very clearly delineated based on status and relationship - everyone knew exactly what to give me based on the collection of attributes I possessed - not only that, but they all had the same calibration of those attributes (young. single. female. teacher. foreign. American) and knew which attributes trumped the others (in my case, female+American.)

So while there was definitely more pressure to give gifts (in a culture where there's almost 100% homogeneity, cultural norms are soooo solid) there was also no confusion about what to give whom or when (ditto.) It was just a matter of obtaining the gift and giving it. For my part, I had to learn very quickly to receive, because to buck the norms (by refusing) would've been taken as an insult.

So many of us have non-American teachers (and some of us students are also not American, so there is the same issue) and we may feel extra confusion about what is expected, what is normal.

Good times.

[and123]

Hey, how 'bout a case of Red Bull (or power/energy drink of choice)? That stuff isn't cheap, and I see a number of instructors consuming it on a regular basis.

[samina]

*gack* :P

[alemana]

Dance Teacher Gift Pak

1. case Red Bull, (1)
2. case Camel Lights, (1)
3. pocket-sized copy of syllabi bronze->gold, (1)
4. European bar chocolate (1) for men, pack diet pills (1) for women
5. appropriate sized/styled appointment book for the new year with YOUR standing lessons IN INDELIBLE ink on every week on every month for the entire next calendar year so there are NO EXCUSES

[samina]

...standing lessons IN INDELIBLE ink on every week on every month for the entire next calendar year so there are NO EXCUSES

yes!

[gingerbread]

really well-said, waltzie.

it seems to me that the student-teacher relationship creates a container for a certain kind of intimacy, which may be very heart-felt, honest, and close. it has limits, but that doesn't mean there isn't intimacy & tenderness that can develop, even on the part of the teacher and without romantic involvement.

there are so many forms that love, intimacy, and friendship can take, y'know?

you're right... it's its own thing. i don't have any point of reference for the kind of relationship i have with my instructor. feels good to just let it be...

absolutely, it's hard to put in words, but I think it's real, a certain shared caring, although I don't doubt the student is more emotionally involved than the teacher, still, there is something alive there, it is more than a business relationship. I have a friend who stoutly denies that, more like what Peaches says, and somehow I never believe her, I think she just says that for effect.
I mean, don't you get involved in your teacher's professional competitive career and care how he/she does and follow them on the floor and check their results and wish the best for them, etc?

[LucyDiamond]

5. appropriate sized/styled appointment book for the new year with YOUR standing lessons IN INDELIBLE ink on every week on every month for the entire next calendar year so there are NO EXCUSES
Brilliant!!!

[alemana]

it varies person by person, situation by situation. the involvement varies, the reciprocity of that involvement varies, the warmheartedness varies, the level of formality varies... there will always be those who invest too much in their attachment to their teachers and that is the subtext of a lot of this commentary here. but some people manage it better than others.

[alemana]

6. gum, so he stops taking mine

[samina]

...although I don't doubt the student is more emotionally involved than the teacher

yes, probly in most cases.

my instructor and his partner tend to cultivate close connections with their students, tho. we socialize outside of lessons. i like that very much. it is a cozy group whose company i really enjoy. so then, the student-teacher relationship starts to shift into... friends? pseudo-family connection? dunno. who cares what it is. it's just such a gift all-around. i feel so lucky to have that group in my life.

[samina]

6. gum, so he stops taking mine

whoops... i'm the guilty party here.

but i give him smoothies, so maybe we're even.

[contracheck]

Dance Teacher Gift Pak

1. case Red Bull, (1)
2. case Camel Lights, (1)
3. pocket-sized copy of syllabi bronze->gold, (1)
4. European bar chocolate (1) for men, pack diet pills (1) for women
5. appropriate sized/styled appointment book for the new year with YOUR standing lessons IN INDELIBLE ink on every week on every month for the entire next calendar year so there are NO EXCUSES
No, No! This is all business. This is one time of a year we can show soft human side.

[alemana]

the post was quite obviously satire.

[SuzieQ]

I plan to get mine gift cards from a restaurant I know he likes and probably movie passes or Blockbuster card. He sometimes gives us small gifts, but I don't expect anything. He's given me the gift of dancing and all that comes with that.

[contracheck]

I plan to get mine gift cards from a restaurant I know he likes and probably movie passes or Blockbuster card.

Good, good, give him something that does not remind him of dance for change, something that takes his mind off dancing, *******er. If I have to dance several hrs a day everyday, I'll be sick of dancing.

[fascination]

And that perfume is? :raisebro:
not telling in public...don't want everyone wearing my scent...but very poed to learn that macy's no longer sells it...annoyed

[mamboqueen]

funny...got home and there was a card from my teacher in the box.

[contracheck]

funny...got home and there was a card from my teacher in the box.
Does your teacher read this thread? It looks like you're the first beneciciary of this thread.

[fluffy]

Dance Teacher Gift Pak
...
4. European bar chocolate (1) for men, pack diet pills (1) for women

As long as the diet pills do not have that dodgy banned substance in them....

[Sunshines Partner]

Cash

[misteria]

Upthread someone mentioned the fact that gifting practices vary by culture, and that's really important!

When I spent time living in Poland, I noticed that it was *extremely* important to give gifts. At the same time, the type of gift was very clearly delineated based on status and relationship - everyone knew exactly what to give me based on the collection of attributes I possessed - not only that, but they all had the same calibration of those attributes (young. single. female. teacher. foreign. American) and knew which attributes trumped the others (in my case, female+American.)

So while there was definitely more pressure to give gifts (in a culture where there's almost 100% homogeneity, cultural norms are soooo solid) there was also no confusion about what to give whom or when (ditto.) It was just a matter of obtaining the gift and giving it. For my part, I had to learn very quickly to receive, because to buck the norms (by refusing) would've been taken as an insult.

So many of us have non-American teachers (and some of us students are also not American, so there is the same issue) and we may feel extra confusion about what is expected, what is normal.


Alemana, I see exactly what you're talking about. I am Polish, so giving and receiving gifts is the most normal thing in the world. Here it is certainly not so obvious. And doesn't apply only to teachers, but everyone, even friends and family members. And I also notice that here people often give cash, which back home is not the way to go (except for weddings maybe). Cash simply means that you feal obliged to give something, but don't know the person well enough to know what to give her/him.
It's really interesting that you brought up this cultural question :)

[gingerbread]

it varies person by person, situation by situation. the involvement varies, the reciprocity of that involvement varies, the warmheartedness varies, the level of formality varies... there will always be those who invest too much in their attachment to their teachers and that is the subtext of a lot of this commentary here. but some people manage it better than others.

I guess you are right, probably too needy, try never to let it show.

[nikita]

Last year two of my teachers gave a small gift to all their students. A self made CD with scenes of some of their shows. It was a very nice gesture, since it was produced with lot's of carino. But they are generally very "giving" persons, bring always cake and tea to the sunday practice:mrgreen: .

[alemana]

my goodness, what a thoughtful gift!

[ABC ballroom]

You can make dance-themed stuff, like Fred and Ginger earrings, etc.

[Sunshines Partner]

A 42" Plasma TV

[Kitty]

I think most young dance teachers are not going to think that cash is a gift that you give when you can't think of something better. They pretty much think it is the most thoughtful gift cause they need it so badly. (might be different case for older more established coaches who are not struggling ot find the money for their next lesson or for plane tickets to next comp.)


I don't think I would ever give anyone cash as a gift though...

[DeniseG]

I don't know about that. Isn't it a professional relationship?

[SPratt74]

I don't know about that. Isn't it a professional relationship?

I look at giving gift to teachers like I do to my bosses. It's still professional and very thoughtful. ;)

[marktheshark]

Got Andrew and Polly a kinky teapot and cup set.

Vasiliki will get an aromatic candle tomorrow.

[etp777]

I was looking to get feedback on whether others here do (or don't) give gifts to their pros/teachers. This can be for Christmas, for pro's birthday, for helping you through an especially tough comp, whatever. I know a bunch of friends who are teachers have gotten various giffts at various times (primarily Christmas), and I know my personal policy on this, just curious to see what some of rest of you do (again, or don't :) ) do, and reasoning behind it, if applicable.

Mainly, bored at work waiting for AT&T guy to get here, so figured I'd throw up a new post, think it could be an itneresting thread.

[fascination]

we have and excellent thread on this...do a search

[etp777]

Oops. :) Sorry about that.

Actually, several threads. And here I thought I was being all original and starting a new conversation. :)

[fascination]

meh...nothing to be sorry about...I am just too lazy to reapeat my 18 jillion thoughts on the subject

[elisedance]

There's a lot to be said for new threads even on old subjects though. That way new members can be in on things from the beginning - after all, who actually reads 2,000 posts anyway so old threads just continue from where they left off regardless of their baggage.

[etp777]

While I certainly agree elise, hope you're not saying this just in defense of me. Particular as I got some really good answers from previous threads. Including really thought provoking exchange between Larinda, peaches and a couple others, on whether teacher really does care about student as more than just a student, and appreciate thanks, etc. :)

My policy is still no gifts, due to some other concerns, but I gave her a thank you card yesterday with a rather long note. Rather, left it on front desk, she was busy teaching.

Now, in a month or so I will resurrect some of the gift threads (this one or another) as we get ready for holidays again.

[elisedance]

I limit gifts to dance-related items - thus, a photo of us together or a video of our competition is OK but other stuff, no.

[etp777]

Just got off phone with pro (calendar was wrong, so she was calling to make sure I knew actual time for a class tonight). After taking care of that, mentioned that she had gotten card, and thanked me, said she was almost in tears. I guess card was a good choice in this case. :)

[fascination]

There's a lot to be said for new threads even on old subjects though. That way new members can be in on things from the beginning - after all, who actually reads 2,000 posts anyway so old threads just continue from where they left off regardless of their baggage.yea but I would rather see the old thread resurrected for the sake of people who are trying to find threads...instead of having to scan through 4 or 5 that have similar info

[LucyDiamond]

yea but I would rather see the old thread resurrected for the sake of people who are trying to find threads...instead of having to scan through 4 or 5 that have similar info
I agree with you fasc. By resurrecting the old thread, it gives us the choice to read the entire thread or just start with any chosen date and move forward from there. I don't like having to read several threads for information. All in one place is my vote.

[elisedance]

don't you find old information threads intimidating? I do. The trouble is I feel guilty posting anything that might already be there - so one should really read the entire thing but who really has time to do that - perhaps on a crucial issue like stress injuries or something that might be find but on makeup? I do try to find old threads to add to but in addition to the above, often they are not exactly on point so the title will not attract the set of people that you want to talk to. I think you have to do this on a case-by-case basis.

[fascination]

well EE I certainly don't want to be dismissive of your feelings but old threads don't have teeth...there is no harm to resurrecting them and to saying "I haven't read through the whole thread but..." beyond that though ya gotta wonder how badly someone really wants info if they are n't willing to dig a bit...I hate to cater to that ...we have enough "I want it right now and don't want to have to look for it" in our society...one of those things that makes me nuts about the people who come on and want to learn to be an awesome dancer for a dance at the end of the week, but don't want to read the jillion posts on how unlikely that is...I think it is also a matter of courtesy about other folk's time...people have already put in a considerable amount of time contributing to the subject and it shouldn't be like "well, I want the info but I don't want to have to look for it , so you tell me again okay".....I can think of nearly 20 ideas that I have already shared on those threads that are very very good...but I am not convinced that I need to reapeat myself...just my opinion...

[etp777]

As an aside, the gc (or just money given, can't remember how exactly you did it) towards tailsuit was great idea fascination. :) Gives me some ideas, but won't talk about them on here, never know who might be reading.

[fascination]

I am sort of a gift buying fool so I rfear I rather flooded those threads but I should add to them...if you will kindly resurrect one I will list a few more ideas

[etp777]

Gimme a couple minutes to find one I really liked (one that had section about how much teachers do appreciate it), and I'll bring it back up to top.

[etp777]

here we go. Bringing this back to top due to holiday season coming up.

This is a great thread, particularly Larinda's (and other's) posts on how much teachers really do appreciate getting the gift, not that the gift itself is important, but the recognition. And the posts on perfumes are good for a laugh, but some good info too, for guys who don't know how bad an idea it can be to buy some random scent.

[etp777]

Oops, it was in Ballroom Dance forum, not here. Didn't pay attention to where it was when I searched. But back up over there now.

[fascination]

add: ties that match my dresses, black safety pins for his number, latin shirts, or those sapiel all in ones for standard, artwork for studio, I think I mentioned gift cards before, books on dance for his lending library, food dehydrator, lol(don't ask)....paper shredder(don't ask)....to be continued

[fascination]

tee hee...you must be imagining things ;) it's in general dance now

[etp777]

Matching tie to dress is key! I don't care if other people don't think I should do it. :)

Love my food dehydrator, though yeah,t hat seems a strange one. Hrmm, actually, homemade dried fruit would be great snack for next comp.

[fascination]

it only works for a guy pro if he has just one lady at that comp...but hey...

[etp777]

Yeah, definitely harder for a pro than an am guy. Leaving my dad my ties and cufflinks when I'm out of country so he has bigger selection to keep doing same thing with my mom's dresses. I tend to buy more colorful ties than he does, and have a lot more cufflinks, so gives him more choices. Oh yeah, I match the cufflinks too if possible.

lol Larinda, I thinkw e should count how many times you've suggested candy as the best gift. :) Though growing up, best friend's mom was a ballet teacher, and I know he and I sure appreciated all the candy she got from her students. Of coruse, i think we probably ate 95% of it, not sure she got any.

[samina]

fasc, am thinking you must find many more reasons to give him gifts than just xmas & b-day... :)

[etp777]

Considering way she talks about pro, i bet you're right samina. :)

Course, i can't say that I'm much differnet in way I talk about mine, but we're talking about fascination right now, not me. ;)

[fascination]

fasc, am thinking you must find many more reasons to give him gifts than just xmas & b-day... :)
well, I am in general, a gift-buying fool...got it from my mother and is just the way I work...gives me pleasure....as regards pro...I tend to get him something at each comp...he takes a week away from all of his other students to go to a comp with me and he is a cheap date (aka, he is modest in his charges)...I try to be appreciative of that

[rjcbear]

well, I am in general, a gift-buying fool...got it from my mother and is just the way I work...gives me pleasure....as regards pro...I tend to get him something at each comp...he takes a week away from all of his other students to go to a comp with me and he is a cheap date (aka, he is modest in his charges)...I try to be appreciative of that

I think this is a great Idea an I will make sure our pros will have something extra in their accounts after the competition.
Thank you so much Fasc.

[fascination]

you are welcome

[samina]

i agree, rjcbear... fasc, you're pro is lucky to have you as his student.

[fascination]

correct ;)

[fascination]

and thanks...I believe he agrees a fair amount of the time

[samina]

and thanks...I believe he agrees a fair amount of the time

"worth the dicey bits..." ;)

[fascination]

chunks

[samina]

lol

[rjcbear]

hmmmm, Lucky Pro

[FatBaldGuy60]

Love my food dehydrator, though yeah,that seems a strange one. Hrmm, actually, homemade dried fruit would be great snack for next comp.

I make jerky with my dehydrator. People absolutely love homemade jerky for holiday presents, along with some of my wife's fudge.

FBG

[etp777]

Yeah, I love making jerky, and everyone likes it a lot, but it tends to be a bit strongly flavored and smelling, so I don't think I'd want to do that to my pro (in regards to bringing it to comp as a snack) :)

Turkey jerky in particular went over really well. Course, since I should be out of country this Christmas, i get to cheat and skip having to come up with a bunch of special presents. :)

[rjcbear]

Fudge did some one said Fudge.

<== running around office desk looking for some fudge

[rjcbear]

Turkey jerky in particular went over really well. Course, since I should be out of country this Christmas, i get to cheat and skip having to come up with a bunch of special presents. :)

Oh now we will be sending some stamped envelops so we can get some of that jerky.

[etp777]

Maybe I could sell it. I wonder how much jerky I'd have to sell to pay for my lesson each week. :)

[etp777]

:p

[HopefulNaiive]

What's the proper etiquette for gift giving, if there is one, between dance partners and students/teachers? If you do give gifts, then on what occasions ( competitions, performances, holidays, birthdays...)? Do you exchange gifts privately or not?

[fascination]

we definately have a thread on this please do a search using keyword gift and partner or teacher

[pr]

we definately have a thread on this please do a search using keyword gift and partner or teacher

I remember this too. Maybe you are thinking about this one? Christmas Gift for Women Instructor (http://www.dance-forums.com/showthread.php?t=6038) ;)

[fascination]

thanks pr...that is one of at least three

[fascination]

see also; tipping your dance instructor and chiristmas gifts for your dance partner...many many good ideas there...both can be found by using the search word "gift"

[PretzelsAndBeer]

Perhaps Go-DIVA! *LOL* Just kidding, Larinda :lol:

You just think you're kidding. My teacher gets a 16-pc box of Godiva at every showcase or comp that I do. And even one that I didn't.

[j_alexandra]

You just think you're kidding. My teacher gets a 16-pc box of Godiva at every showcase or comp that I do. And even one that I didn't.

Is this customary -- to give a gift to the teacher at a showcase or comp?

I make chocolate truffles, so giving serious chocolate would be a no-brainer for me. But I'd like to know if it's the norm.

[etp777]

Only done the two comps so far (that I competed at). First one I didn't. Second one, gave pretty big gift to pro and buddy teacher. But it was also first comp after coming back from Kuwait, and they put in a LOT of work into getting my dnacing back up to where it was, and then some. Plus they helped me get together a kick-butt tango showcas.e :) So was very grateful to both of them.

[fascination]

if you scroll back on one of these threads you will see that it is customary for some...i don't do it for NP b/c well, he is high rent, there ain't much leftover, though I did do something for him for his birthday and for christmas and when he won top teacher in ohio this year...FP was a cheap date, far less than I felt he should be for his skill, so I tried to be generous to him...it was my habit to buy him a shirt or share my winnings or help with any new dance garments he needed...and I tried to keep my ears open for other things that gave him pleasure from time to time, because he made it very easy for me to dance alot for quite little...he likes to read so book cards were always good, and because he gardens there was almost always something that was needed in that regard...listening is always the best way to find out what a really good gift might be, it certainly shouldn't be obligatory...for me, when it was possible, I simply wanted to return as much gratitude as I could for recieving something so valuable...I have never sensed that either man expected or wanted anything

[etp777]

Yeah, i didn't feel they expected anything, just wanted to dos oemthing for them.

Now that I'm regularly bringing in lunch/snacks, I feel less need to do anything. ;) Will do something small for my one or two comps this year. :)

[Standarddancer]

Last time I checked Sephora they have some cool gifts for ladies - lip glosses set, small roll-on perfumes, eyeshadow palettes, etc. always something the teacher can use for a show or comp. I agree gift certificates is a great idea, like gift certificates for foot or body massages, or box of chocolates or candies. Fasc made excellent point of listening and pay attention what the person likes, so to focus the effort on something that's useful as well. For example, if you know your instructor travel a lot to compete, you might also look into Brookstones travel stuff or gift cards.

[Standarddancer]

Maybe this thread should be combined? ;)

[fascination]

since the other one seems to be gender specific, and holiday specific I am declining at the moment

[fascination]

oops...that's right...I can actually function competantly from time to time and eidt the title...oy...all that trouble when TC could have done it in a blink...(they keep me around for other reasons)

[etp777]

Just for your looks fasc, we have to have some eye candy around here. :)

[fascination]

sweetie

[fascination]

ahem, bot....currently, the preferred booze is cognac and I see signs of a sweet tooth so that is where I stay when a gift-giving occasion arises

[DanceAngel]

...FP was a cheap date, far less than I felt he should be for his skill, so I tried to be generous to him...it was my habit to buy him a shirt or share my winnings or help with any new dance garments he needed...

When it comes to splitting your winnings, is there a particular percentage that is customary? Like 50/50 or something else?

[fascination]

for me, and remember that FP and I were friends, we had no studio for a long while, I was paying him a very low rate and I was monopolizing a large amount of his time...I split my winnings...I do not do that now...and I don't think there really is a customary aspect to it...one of his other students was in the habit of buying him a T-shirt at every comp...shrug...it's all good...I never felt that anything was expected...

[Standarddancer]

you did good job, fasc!!! you did it before TC stepped in, I mean the combining and editing topic part;)

[JustLiving08]

Do any of you here give gifts to your dance teacher for the holidays? If so, what do you give?

I want to, but I have no idea what to give. I was thinking about maybe baking something? Or a gift card somewhere, but I'd feel bad giving an amount less than what I pay them hourly (which is quite a bit since I'm taking private lessons from a pro) soooo I don't know! Or maybe a spa/massage certificate, but then I'd have to be sneaky and find out where she goes. haha

[dlgodud]

I usually give them gift cards from Department stores. Or for ladies gift cards from makeup stores.....:p

[JustLiving08]

Yeah, gift card would be the easiest... good thing I have about a month to decide what to do!

[fascination]

tc...can you find the pre-existing threads on this and merge?...b/c there are at least two...should anone care to do a search

[JustLiving08]

Should of thought of do a search first... sorry! You can close this one, I found the others. :)

[fascination]

no probem...would merge them myself but the last time I tried very bad things happened...and I can't type with these fake nails....so I am really already seriously impaired...no comments from peanut gallery :)

[Nybz]

no probem...would merge them myself but the last time I tried very bad things happened...and I can't type with these fake nails....so I am really already seriously impaired...no comments from peanut gallery :)

Who would dare make comments http://i157.photobucket.com/albums/t45/light_angel_AWC/Emoticons/AngelHalo.gif

[fascination]

there are a few particularly brave souls :)

[etp777]

I don't know what you're talking about. :D

Food is always appreciated (actually just had note about that again in my end of year wrap up/plan for new year). Spafinder.com gift cards so teacher can pamper themselves a bit was always hugely appreciated by both pros. or FP and NP now.

[suburbaknght]

I've received candies, popcorn, ties, and gift baskets. This year I'll be giving bottles of wine to my three main teachers and gift cards to the receptionists who have been more than patient and accommodating with the perpetual quagmire I refer to as a "schedule."

[Gorme]

I got my pro a gift card for department store and gasoline. I got together with another student that shares the same instructor to increase the amount on the cards. The year before that was a gift card to a day spa. I tuck away off-handed comments the pro makes about what she enjoys or where she likes to go. So when she opens her gift, she looks at me like I can read her mind.

[etp777]

Or like you're stalking her. :)

[Standarddancer]

If female pro, maybe gift card for her favorite nail salon - if she competes and likes to have her nail professionally done, or gift cards for tanning session, or gift cards to her favorite hair stylist.

If you teacher travels a lot for competing, maybe things or gifts cards for places like Brook stones or sharp images will be nice, some small nice portable stuff for traveling.

[JustLiving08]

It's been a month and I still can't think of anything besides cookies. lol

So I'll be giving them some cookies, and I hope none of them are allergic to nuts or anything...

[wonderwoman]

His or her favorite adult beverage. :)

[Anchovynist]

Half a dozen yellow roses brought a nice smile to Dear Teacher's face. Traditionally, the yellow rose symbolizes friendship.

[Lioness]

We learnt last night that our teachers don't do Christmas, but we gave them a box of chocolates each as a thankyou gift.
Female teacher took them and pretended to strap them straight to her hips :D

[wonderwoman]

Half a dozen yellow roses brought a nice smile to Dear Teacher's face. Traditionally, the yellow rose symbolizes friendship.
LOVE when guys get their dance teachers roses! Yellow ones are great because they carry a message of friendship, like you said, so we don't confuse it with a romantic gesture.

[j_alexandra]

On my last long trip, I picked up a vintage photo of a little girl posing in her tap shoes, all dressed up in her dance best, probably dated to about 1930. And now I've lost it! Aargh! I saw it last week, it was in position to be brought to studio and given to Teach, and now it's gone.

Perhaps the universe did not want me to give that pic to Teach.

She was quite the cutie, though. I hope I find it.

[j_alexandra]

Potato chips are crack.

Whoops: wrong thread. Forgot this wasn't happy/random.

[Linda J Schlensker]

As a dance teacher, I am sometimes uncomfortable with gifts. I personally would prefer that you take an extra lesson or class and make your dancing better. Say good things about me in public. A big gift would be too much. My most cherished gift was when a few of my guys got together and sang me a randy song off key and danced a cha to it. Wish I had that on video!

[Dots]

My teacher’s birthday is coming up and I want to give her a present to make her happy. I’m not sure as to what would be appropriate in terms of gift or price range so that it would not put her at odds with the studio owner (franchise involved) or significant other.


Thoughts or suggestions?

[fascination]

gift card for starbucks or a favorite restuarant chain...candy...we have many threads on this...I think as long as the gift is under50 bucks and only happens on birthdays and holidays then folks don't really raise an eyebrow

[AMeader]

Coffee gift certificate is a great idea, to echo Fasc. My studio runs on coffee.

[suburbaknght]

The aforementioned gift certificates are great, as is to any restaurant close to the studio (trust me, they eat there). For holidays I usually go with a nice bottle of wine.

[danceronice]

Speaking as a non-dance educator, I've yet to meet any teacher/coach who doesn't appreciate food/beverage gift certificates.

[fascination]

alot of it is about listening...I knew my first pro very well so it was easy...I knew the tea he drank, where he liked to buy a burger, that he liked to read and garden....etc...not hard to shop accordingly...I don't know the current pro as well but I do know where he likes to eat, that he has a sweet tooth, and what he drinks when he drinks

[Joyful Dancer]

The teachers at my studio and my private lesson instructor/partner in particular, really like my home baked cookies. I do this for "minor" Holidays or "just because" and they are "over the moon" when I do so. I've given books, nice chocolates, and cuff links for his birthday and Christmas. I'd say just observe things that they like and if you are on friendly basis (which it sounds like you are) listen for things that they mention that they enjoy. I'm sure just the fact that you took the time to remember them will warm their heart.

One of the best gifts I’ve ever received is a handwritten letter, on nice stationary, from my dance instructor, that was included with his Christmas gift to me. It was sincere, kind, and something I treasure. I take it out from time to time and reread it to remind me of what I’ve accomplished in my dance journey when I need a little “pep talk”.

[Leonid Turetsky]

I had everything from chocolates, to books, to massage chairs given to me by my students...I enjoy chocolates the most..and think its very appropriate as a gift.

[Dots]

Thank you for the suggestions. I’ll see which one will be the most appropriate under the circumstances.

Sorry for starting a new thread about this. I had searched on all open forums for the title “gift” without finding the answers that I was seeking and I had not dared to resurrect an old thread. Doing so is a frowned upon practice in other forums, one that can get you temporarily banned. I’ll be more careful in the future.

[fascination]

how usual..you will find our guidelines at the top of the homepage...we would never ban for that...we prefer to keep material of the same nature merged so that it is easy to find..but no problem

[Joe]

Actually, resurrecting an old thread is better than creating a new one because that means future searchers have fewer threads to sift through before finding the info they need.

[fascination]

right...which is why, when we have a thread like this, usually TC comes along and merges them

[dancingirldancing]

Do you include buying energy drinks, jelly beans, and snackfoods for teacher a gift ?

I don't really consider them gifts more that I know sometimes my teacher/s have been teaching all day and forget to eat and feel a little peckish.

It's more like I am trying to take care of my teachers.

They are only 2-3 dollars worth of things but I know the days certain teachers work long hours and I just try to bring in something in and they generally appreciate it.

Sometimes they share it with other students too and I don't mind that either.

[fascination]

I think this OP is talking about what to get their pro for a b-day...granted, a gift bag with candy and energy drinks wouldn't be a bad idea for that either

[chachachacat]

One of the first gifts I got from a student for Xmas was a $50 gift cert. to the best mall around, which was probably nothing to him, but exciting to me. $50 was a lot in 1987, and the best mall around here is one of the best in the country. (So. cal.)
(South Coast Plaza)

[MidwestDancingGuy]

My teacher’s birthday is coming up and I want to give her a present to make her happy. I’m not sure as to what would be appropriate in terms of gift or price range so that it would not put her at odds with the studio owner (franchise involved) or significant other.


Thoughts or suggestions?

Yeah, this could be a bit touchy. The studio that I dance at is also a franchise studio, and they seem to be rather draconian about the non-fraternization thing. The university that I work at has a gift-giving policy of no more than $25 per year from a particular person. That would seem like a pretty safe amount, although depending on how strict your studio is about their non-frat policy, you may not want to go above $10-$15.

A consumable gift (i.e., food of some type... alcoholic drink might even be frowned upon by management) would generally be pretty inoffensive.

[Dots]

I'll post the content of the gift after her birthday on the off chance that she would stumble here. Can't be too careful ;)

[TinyDancer109]

I normally give my pro an american express $50 giftcard for his birthday. I figure it is useful for he and his wife (they are a young couple still putting a life together) but is classier than straight cash. I dance in a franchise studio and they have never had a problem with that... then again, i am not sure if anyone has ever seen it since I put it in a card and give it to him after my lesson. Good luck!

[Dots]

And a quick update; I ended up giving her the "ultimate dance teacher restoration kit!" with a birthday card.


It’s basically a fancy way of saying that I went to a specialized shop and had a package created with bath salts, bubbles and massage oil, all picked for their muscle relaxation properties. She just happened to have sore feet that day too and ended up using it shortly afterwards. +1 point for good timing ;)