She broke my heart 'cause I couldn't dance

[2leftfeet]

Hey gang! I'm new to this site, and to the idea of learning how to dance altogether. But now I am determined more than ever. I invited my xgirlfriend to a wedding last month (in an attempt to "get her back") and I felt humiliated when she told me that I CANNOT DANCE.

It isn't that I don't have rythm. I play the piano quite well, and I can "air drum" on my steering wheel when I drive, things like that. I can "feel the beat" when I listen to any type of music. But I don't know how to dance. I never went to dances in high school, and I feel very uncomfortable when I dance.

I WANT TO LEARN HOW TO DANCE FREESTYLE, AND TO TECHNO AND OTHER CLUB MUSIC. I want to reach the point where I enjoy dancing.

Please help me!!! Any advice is appreciated, but in specific, ARE THERE ANY DVDs THAT YOU RECOMMEND TO TEACH ME HOW TO DANCE TO MODERN-DAY FREESTYLE OR TECHNO/CLUB MUSIC? I looked on the web for suggestions, and bought a few tapes, but they are so outdated. And there are so many to choose from, I don't want to waste my money on the wrong ones.

Thank you so much. I must learn how to dance freestyle!!!

[salsarhythms]

Welcome to the forum 2leftfeet!!

Man that's rough, but let me tell you, dance for
you...not anyone else.

I don't know where to guide you for techno or club
but I'm sure someone will.

[pygmalion]

Hi 2leftfeet! Welcome to the forums. :D

Wow. It is rough to have her say you can't dance. Beyond cruel. And you're just like many of us who were motivated to dance because of relationship issues. The cool thing is that, by learning to dance, you'll open yourself to a whole new world of people, not just this ex girlfriend of yours.

That said, club freestyle is my absolute favorite style of dancing -- it comes pretty naturally for me, so I can't recommend videos. What can a I recommend? Hmm.


Well. First things first. The nice thing about club dancing is that it belongs solely to you. The stuff you learn on tapes is just a starting point for your own interpretation. But you have to start somewhere, so have a plan. You can use videos, if you want. Or, at home, put on some music, and practice some basic dance steps. Touch step, back and forth -- side to side, front and back. The add some walks back and forth, or some sways back and forth to the music. Nothing fancy is required. At this point, you're just trying to get comfortable with your body moving to music. And the reason to do this at home is that you don't have to feel self-conscious. Nobody's watching. Just relax and move to the music. By the time you do this, you'll be better than ninety percent of the club freestylers out there, already. :lol:

In my own personal style of club dancing, I use a lot of isolations and ripples. So if you can find a hip-hop dance class, go to a couple sessions and see if anything appeals to you.

The goal is to 1.Hear and feel the music 2. Have a basic plan of what to do with your feet. For club freestyling, you really don't have to move your feet much, so don't worry about fancy moves. Just move your body. 3. To come up with your own personal style. This one will take quite a while, but it will happen if you relax and let yourself move.


The good news is that, with your musical training, you already have a huge advantage. There are intricate rhythms and syncopations already inside you, waiting to pop out when you least expect it. :D

Good luck.

[Sagitta]

Another warm welcome to you 2leftfeet!!

I can definitely feel the pain you were going through. At most weddings that I've been too there hasn't been that much club/techno dancing. Quite a bit of partner dancing though and that is a completely different animal. Having said that, let's see what I can offer you for club/techno dancing.

I almost feel like repeating what saslarhythmns said, as I personally learnt to club dance by just going with a group of people and moving to the music, but I don't think that necessarily will be much help to you now.

I think that it is a matter of feeling the beat, but getting your body used to moving in a different way. If you haven't done dancing then the way dancers move can feel awkward/ odd/ contrived. It is a matter of getting your dance vocabulary, i.e. your body used to moving in a different way.

One option is get music videos of the songs you like, see what moves you like that are done and imitate them. Another is go to the clubs and see which dancers are dancing the way you like to dance and figure out how they do their moves. Then practice in front of a mirror at home, playing the same songs. A lot of imitation over here, but when doing the moves don't try to copy the moves 100%. Adapt the moves so that they become your moves.

Hope this helps!! :)

[borikensalsero]

welcome to the forums 2leftfeet...

Let me start by saying that I would like to corrupt your mind right away and ask you to take salsa classes, then take your ex out for a night of latin dancing then in the middle of the song tell her. Girl, this is dancing and you can't do it. Nahhh, just kidding, but do learn salsa. salsa, salsa, salsa...

Ok, on the club dancing thing. Here are a few pointers.

At home alone, put whatever song you would want to dance too. You are musically inclined so, go ahead and move your body side to side to the loud bangs. Get your body grooving side to side and back and forth without moving the feet, then, my man, if it happens to be hip-hop, think of it like you are having sex and move that body and especially the hips very sensually. Club hip-hop dancing is really all about getting your freak on. :shock: Before you know it your ex will be in line waiting to dance with you. At first keep to the loud bangs of the music. Every move you make, do it to the bangs, as you get better try moving to the sounds between each loud bang. Move at their speed, meaning that you never move any body part faster than the music. Eventually you'll be grooving to the music, and dancing to club stuff.

For techno... Jump around, not even falling down looks out of place in techno.

Lastly, don't think, react, let your soul freeeeeeeee

[jenibelle]

Welcome 2leftfeet...
I agree with Borikensalsero. LEARN SALSA!!!!!!!! Especially if you want to make that ex jealous...she'll go crazy when you're groovin' with all those sexy ladies out there. What's more, I've found that I am 10x better at club freestyle now that I've learned a few different partner dances.

By the way, did I tell you to learn salsa?

Sometimes I find it fun and useful to dance in my bedroom in front of a mirror. No one's watching so just let loose and shake it!

Oh, and you should learn salsa!

Salsa!

S
A
L
S
A
!
!
!

Good luck!
Jeni :lol:

[borikensalsero]

Oh, and you should learn salsa!

Salsa!

S
A
L
S
A
!
!
!

Good luck!
Jeni :lol:

WEPA!!!! NOW WE ARE TALKING!!!! SALSA SALSA SALSA

[Sagitta]

Since we are talking about salsa, and incorporating other dance moves into what you're doing learning salsa shines is useful:

http://salsamoves.tripod.com/

This site provides FREE video clips and is detailed enough to learn how to do the 4 or so shines. Similar moves can be done in freestyle club dancing, when dancing to club music. I have used them myself with personal modifications. :)

[salsarhythms]

Ok...

1. Learn salsa.

2. Don't sweat that girl too much. In fact, while you're learning
your salsa dancing they'll be way too many women for you to
even worry about this one.


Remember, women outnumber us and she's not the only one
out there...in fact, you've got about another 6 to go if you want
to go by the ratio... :D

[Sagitta]

Ok...

Remember, women outnumber us and she's not the only one
out there...in fact, you've got about another 6 to go if you want
to go by the ratio... :D

And what ratio is that from? :? :) Generally gals outnumber dudes, but 7:1!! Where are these places?

[salsarhythms]

Based on my hopes and dreams...

:D

No, I think that's a world population thing...

[pygmalion]

Wait one hot second, here. 2leftfeet said he wanted to learn club dancing and techno. So let's help him do that, not bombard him (too much) with salsa. :wink: :lol: :lol:

2leftfeet: Salsa is a WAY FUN club dance, where you'll meet lots of beautiful women. And club/techno dancing is way fun, too, also with beautiful women. So feel free to make your own choice, no matter what the salsa addicts on this site say! :lol: :lol:

That said, jennibelle is right. Partner dancing/dance technique can add a heck of a lot to your club freestyle dancing. I've seen this in myself. Club freestyling has always been my favorite, but since I've started seriously studying partner dancing, the techniques I'm learning have spilled over into my club freestyle. Now, woa! I'm having SO MUCH more fun in the clubs! :D

[salsarhythms]

Hey club dancing is fine, but...

...nothing beats being in an area with dim lights,
people all around you, and dancing close to a
pretty girl...

Let's see u do that with club music!! :D

[borikensalsero]

Hey, how about being able to hold hands look at each other and completely get lost in a world that only you two can be. Where you hold your right hand close to her lower back gentely and seductively move her around just where you want her to go.... at the end of the dance you happen to run your hands throw your forehead and catch a smell of her perfume still left in your hands... AHHHHH

2leftfeet... listen to us, listen to us... :wink: :wink: :D :D
You wanna salsa, you really wanna salsa... But if you wanna do techno and hiphop, well, you can still salsa to it. lol

[jenibelle]

Is there any way of incorporating salsa INTO club music? It's 4/4 anyway...just add a conga or two, clave, wild trumpet....LOL! :lol:

That's a really idea about learning shines. So when you're climbing the salsa ladder, you can practise your shines in the nightclubs :-)

Jeni

[pygmalion]

Good point, jennibelle. Club dancing IS solo shines. Just not necessarily to salsa music. So the same skills apply. :D

[2leftfeet]

Well, you guys convinced me to give Salsa a chance, too. But I also want to learn how to just move, up and down and around, freely, to club music- be it rap, techno, hip-hop- you get the picture. I say this because it will come up again, at weddings, at parties, etc.

I have nothing against salsa, except one disheartening experience. Studied in Alcala de Henares, Spain, last semester, and took salsa lessons with some fellow students (all girls=). It was great, for the first 2 weeks. Then new students kept coming, and so to make money, the instructor felt like she had to cater to them, and review the basics for the first X minutes of the 1hr lesson. This kept happening as more and more students came in, and with only one teacher, we could only learn one thing, and practice what we knew already. Got to the point where we kept repeating and repeating the basics, never moving on, never dancing to the faster music that they play at the clubs. So we all ended up quitting, and the teacher eventually had to cancel class. All due to HER OWN GREED!! =)

But yeah, getting close to a spanish-speaking gal sounds good to me. But I also want to learn "just basic dancing". Since this started my quest, and brought me to this awesome site, that was the topic of my first thread.

Thanks for the suggestions. Please keep the advice coming as you wish!!

[Sagitta]

You guys crack me up. :lol:

2leftfeet don't let one bad experience take you away from what can be a lot of fun. In life sometimes you get the good with the bad. [shrug] As you can see quite a few of us are passionate about dance/one type of dance. Others are passionate/addicted to more then one!! :P Anyway, if you are interested...

www.bustamove.com (http://www.bustamove.com/cgi-bin/scripts/post_link.pl?p=ltd&d=&b=200229579657) has a couple of FREE clips on hip hop moves!!! It goes over some basic steps such as tap-step...and puts together a couple simple combinations?!?

Then in the salsa thread on Building a shine repertoire (http://www.dance-forums.com/viewtopic.php?t=1158&highlight=shines), which could prove useful. As pygmalion said club dancing is akin to doing solos shines!! :)

[danceguy]

2leftfeet,

Something that helped me get used to how my body would move "freestyle" was actually in a meditation class of all things! There was group in college that I would go to now and then...there would be breathing, some yoga, a little tai chi etc...but then suddenly the teacher would have several drummers come out and start playing some wild rhythms, and she'd have everyone get up and get "freaky." During this time, everyone just did their thing...most of us would have our eyes closed...but I just let the drumming move me and let it all go.

I would just start with some basic groove...and then build on it...try it as many ways as I could...but when I thought too much...I'd let it go and try another. My only problem was that since I did a lot of martial arts my movements also had lots of punches and kicks attached to them...so naturally people never got too close! :oops:

While working on things solo is great...there is something about the group dynamic that is so very powerful. After this same class some of us would talk later about how much energy and "juice" there had been that day...despite the fact that we didn't look at each other during the groove session and everyone was just there in the moment.

Does this make sense?

And of course I heartily recommend Salsa...I'm just getting into the social dance scene where I live and it is such a wonderful community to be a part of.

Don't worry about the bad experiences...or the ex-girlfriends. I had a girlfriend once that REFUSED to dance with me...she'd come over and I'd put on some music and ask her to dance...and she'd always say no! Needless to say she soon received a one way ticket for the town of Dumpsville...and I've never looked back since. :P

Just get out there on the floor...feel the music (hopefully Salsa!) and focus on the good times now and those to come...and let the past be but a memory...

Good luck,

SG

[Sagitta]

Speaking of helping move your body to freestyle...I took a Kirpalu Danskinetics class at Cornell. We would start out with a gentle warmup and then different music would be played and we would do different exercises?!? :? :) First the instructor would lead us through some really funny moves that she had choreographed to a particular song. Then she might ask everyone to form a line. She would lead the line by doing a particular move/moves to the music around the room, then after a while she would leave the head of the line and the person next in line would take over. They were some people there who loved just plain awkward and out of place, but it was the least non-threatening atmospher I've been in.

Then to another song we would partner up, we would be told not to worry what our partner was doing, but it was interesting to observe how naturally, as if by instinct partner dynamics would arise and how people would play off what each other were doing, and then a partner swtich would eb called and it would be totally different. Partner dancing with no contact i.e. freestyling.

The point of al this is that it helped people stop being self conscious and just do what comes naturally. Over time what comes naturally/instinctively just begins to look better and better as you really feel the music, getting emotionally connected and focused. Also, as SG said, being in a group creates a different positive dynamic.

[salsachinita]

Hi 2leftfeet :P , welcome to the DF family!

I had two left feet as well........all my life. I was one of those 'puppies' with big, clumsy feet that trip themselves over :roll:!

I was extremely self-conscious.........

Everything changed when I learnt salsa. The moves & co-ordination you learn in salsa (not to mention the boost of confident that comes with it!) will find their way to the R&B/techno/house club floor, and you will just groove along to the music & never look back!

Girls will be lining up to have a dance with you :wink: !

[Sagitta]

2leftfeet check out peachexploration's new avatar. There's a move there that you can do!! :)

[Dancegal]

Joining the bandwagon :wink:
Salsa is definitely a very sexy dance - you can dance it alone (solo shines) or with a partner. It teaches you to "feel" the music. Personally, my freestyle got better after doing West Coast Swing and Lindy (swing) partner dancing because it also affords the opportunity to "play" with the music. However, salsa is a good place to start - sexy, sexy dance. Did I say it's a sexy dance :lol: ?

On a serious note:
There will be a Hip Hop Track with Kwikstep & Rokafella from NYC (Hip Hop dancers) at the Great Southwest Lindyfest in Houston, TX in March - they will break down many elements of Hip Hop dance - I took a class from them at last year's Lindyfest and it's amazing how something that looks hard to do can be made simple! Excellent teachers. Check out the site and read Kwikstep & Rokafella's bio.

http://lindyfest.hsds.org/registration.php

[Vince A]

2leftfeet,
Three words for you . . . "don't go backwards."

Unless you're dancing . . .

Now you figure out what that means!

[Phil Owl]

Hi 2leftfeet! Welcome to the forums. :D

Wow. It is rough to have her say you can't dance. Beyond cruel. And you're just like many of us who were motivated to dance because of relationship issues. The cool thing is that, by learning to dance, you'll open yourself to a whole new world of people, not just this ex girlfriend of yours.

That said, club freestyle is my absolute favorite style of dancing -- it comes pretty naturally for me, so I can't recommend videos. What can a I recommend? Hmm.


Well. First things first. The nice thing about club dancing is that it belongs solely to you. The stuff you learn on tapes is just a starting point for your own interpretation. But you have to start somewhere, so have a plan. You can use videos, if you want. Or, at home, put on some music, and practice some basic dance steps. Touch step, back and forth -- side to side, front and back. The add some walks back and forth, or some sways back and forth to the music. Nothing fancy is required. At this point, you're just trying to get comfortable with your body moving to music. And the reason to do this at home is that you don't have to feel self-conscious. Nobody's watching. Just relax and move to the music. By the time you do this, you'll be better than ninety percent of the club freestylers out there, already. :lol:

In my own personal style of club dancing, I use a lot of isolations and ripples. So if you can find a hip-hop dance class, go to a couple sessions and see if anything appeals to you.

The goal is to 1.Hear and feel the music 2. Have a basic plan of what to do with your feet. For club freestyling, you really don't have to move your feet much, so don't worry about fancy moves. Just move your body. 3. To come up with your own personal style. This one will take quite a while, but it will happen if you relax and let yourself move.


The good news is that, with your musical training, you already have a huge advantage. There are intricate rhythms and syncopations already inside you, waiting to pop out when you least expect it. :D

Good luck.

Hi there 2left feet and this Owl bids you welcome.

Being that you're a musician will give you an added edge regardless of what type of dance you learn. In time you'll be able to hear and move to things others might not. When I first learned ballroom eons ago, my teacher was very impressed with the fact I was a musician and said it helped me immensely to learn and internalize. I just had to learn to feel rhythms more intensely on a physical level as opposed to just mentally.

RE: your ex-girlfriend's attitude. Hate to say it, but ANYBODY that gets snooty and critical towards a guy about dancing (and doesn't even give him credit for trying) is NOT worth spending time with, period. A good friend of mine once said that you can learn a lot about a person by dancing with them. It sounds like exie is telling you a lot with just a few words.

Hope that you'll meet someone that will genuinely encourage you in this way, and others.

[Taita]

Welcome 2leftfeet,

Training is always a good idea if you are truly committed to dancing well. I find learning to dance with a partner(i.e. ballroom, swing, salsa, etc...) makes it really easy to just groove on your own at a club when needed. Having a music background gives you something not too many people have and can help you be a fabulous dancer. However, good dancing is all about interpretation and feeling. No amount of training will do any good if your heart is not in the right place. Like salsarhythms said in the very beginning, dance for yourself, not for anyone else.

[DanceMentor]

Dude, if you will start dancing and stick with it for a while, your x-G will not even be in the same league as the girls you date!