A tribute to the mouse-grey men! [Archive]

Lucretia

10-23-2006, 03:12 AM

I want to tribute the mouse-gey men!

The baldheaded. The thin. The small ones. The big ones. The tiny ones. The fat ones. The ones noone ever sees. The ones that are low ranked at the meat market.

It is these guys that give me the best thrills at the dancefloor :banana:

Last Friday it happened again. The guy I almost turned down this summer was at a salsavenue. A tiny mouse-grey man with not-a-slightest-fancy spectacles. Then he gave me a great dance although I still was in pain after my discslip. I wanted to give that dance back to him... a great dance with no pain and a functioning right foot (means I can spin now again)

The first dance was a chacha - he preferred it on-1 and I managed. Then the maddest quick salsa started - I have never danced a song like that before.

It was a great dance. His timing. His guiding. His way of letting me dance put us on a nother planet. It was great!

I think these mouse-grey-guys are so great because:
1. they don't want to show off
2. they are often a bit insecure and eager to learn proper technique and leading
3. they are more sensitive to what a lady needs

Thanks Good we have them!

/luc

ps. Thanks Good we have the fancy guys too ;)

sweavo

10-23-2006, 05:25 AM

Haha. great post!

tangotime

10-23-2006, 06:55 AM

Welcome to my world ( not grey not , fat , but I fit the older category ) thanks !!!!!!:D :D :D

10-23-2006, 11:59 AM

It's way too common and easy to find the negative in the salsa scene. Props to Lucretia for emphasizing the positive!

GTO Bruin

10-23-2006, 01:32 PM

....
I think these mouse-grey-guys are so great because:
1. they don't want to show off
2. they are often a bit insecure and eager to learn proper technique and leading
3. they are more sensitive to what a lady needs
;).....

Hhhhmmm. Sensitive to her needs. Could work. :rolleyes:

englezul

10-23-2006, 03:14 PM

tangotime

10-23-2006, 03:25 PM

perception, fortunately or unfortunately, is always in the eyes of the beholder. Still think the remarks were made in good faith

noobster

10-23-2006, 05:23 PM

I acknowledge the positive intention behind this post, but it comes across like a backhanded compliment to me, reinforcing the idea that 'these' guys will always be labeled as baldheaded, thin, fat, what have you.

A positive interaction comes free from prejudice and labeling.
Oh well. We're human and it's totally natural to develop a concept of someone based on what you know about him. If all you know is what the person looks like (because you've only seen him for 3 seconds), then you come up with a concept based on that. Later on you refine it, as you get to know him. This not only normal but completely inescapable. Anyone who says he doesn't do it is fooling himself. Prejudice/labeling happens when you refuse to refine your original concept.

And I totally agree with the OP. I have found that, on average, older men are more sensitive to my needs and more often allow me to express myself in the dance. Younger guys (especially experienced, flashy dancers) often just want to spin the gadzooks out of the follow. (Disclaimer: obviously this is a broad generalization and there are many exceptions on both sides.)

Big10

10-23-2006, 06:25 PM

I acknowledge the positive intention behind this post, but it comes across like a backhanded compliment to me, reinforcing the idea that 'these' guys will always be labeled as baldheaded, thin, fat, what have you.

A positive interaction comes free from prejudice and labeling.
Lucretia could have made a comment on the way things might be in a perfect world -- or the way things actually are. She chose the latter and I think she did a nice job of focusing on the positive side of reality.

What's wrong with the "label" of baldheaded if a person really is bald? Some truly are thin and some truly are fat. That's just reality. And, unfortunately, those of us who don't fit the stereotypical appearance of a Salsa dancer are more likely to have our dance invitations rejected. Guys who can't get by purely on looks or athleticism often have to do other things to make a dance enjoyable and/or get repeat dances from a follower. Lucretia is expressing her appreciation for those efforts and perhaps encouraging other women not to always judge a book by its cover. Perfectly fine idea to me. :cool:

Sagitta

10-23-2006, 06:52 PM

delamusica

10-23-2006, 07:03 PM

That's true Sagitta, but Luc's English is very good. englezul is entitled to his opinion, which I don't think we should blame on Luc's (generally very good) grasp of the English language.

That said, though, I think Big10 did a great job of elaborating on the tone of the post, and I read it the same way that he did.

Indiana_Jay

10-23-2006, 07:22 PM

And, unfortunately, those of us who don't fit the stereotypical appearance of a Salsa dancer are more likely to have our dance invitations rejected.
I guess this is a good reason to be thankful that this mouse-grey man is a ballroom, rather than a salsa dancer. I've never seen rejection during a ballroom dance!

Lucretia

10-24-2006, 03:02 AM

I'm sorry if anyone took offence. I was a bit too quick when writing. My intention was to decribe all the men that on first glance doesn't look fancy & hot to feel great. Sorry if this hurt anyone

1. When I wrote the "description" of mouse-grey-men I was thinking about a few local dancers that fit either of these descriptions. And they are a few of the greatest dancers in my town. :banana:

2. I love boldheaded men - I find them very very sexy. I'm married to one ;)
(As a matter of fact -whenever my eye find any attractive man - he is either shaved or natural bold).

3. I find these mouse-grey-men guys very very attractive now when I have learnt to know them. But I guess I wouln't have if not dancing with them. (This might be interpreted as prejudice - but the eye is more often catched by a fancy outside.)

They are sexy....an guess why? When dancing I can see some of their internals. I can see their passion and I feel great since they take care of me. The dance turns me on - the cooperation and teamwork.
They are beautiful!

/luc

sweavo

10-24-2006, 05:23 AM

I'm overweight and have squiffy teeth. I'm also white and therefore will NEVER dance "authentic" salsa. It took me 4 nights of trying to get a single dance in California.

Oh look, I'm over it.

I think Luc's post was an excellent challenge to the labels and therefore was on the side of the people who hate labels. I also think we should not legislate against being offended. Way to undermine free speech!

englezul

10-24-2006, 11:25 AM

I'm sorry if anyone took offence. I was a bit too quick when writing. My intention was to decribe all the men that on first glance doesn't look fancy & hot to feel great. Sorry if this hurt anyone

Just want to clarify that I wasn't offended in any way, and wasn't even implying that you did it on purpose or that you go around labeling people. It was just about how the text came accross. I even mentioned that I understand the positive intention behind it :). And I also liked the dancing banana.

I think what happened is that it brought up the 'labeling' issue indirectly and I felt a little frustrated by it. Last week or two weeks ago I asked this woman to dance and she quickly scanned me up and down, smiled and said no. I wasn't offended, but I couldn't help but feel labeled. And also confused because I'm not easy to label IMO, and I was left wondering what happened there? I'm not usually turned down, in this period of a little over 1 year since I started I was rejected only twice. But it felt so odd. Not the outcome but lack of feedback. I guess I need to get rejected more often to get used to it. Maybe I'll stop wearing deodorant when I go out to accomplish this goal. :raisebro:
In retrospect it even seems silly that I even let myself analyze the event so much.

sweavo

10-24-2006, 11:53 AM

Last week or two weeks ago I asked this woman to dance and she quickly scanned me up and down, smiled and said no. I wasn't offended, but I couldn't help but feel labeled.

Not the outcome but lack of feedback.

In retrospect it even seems silly that I even let myself analyze the event so much.

It's natural innit. Rejection hurts even when you have rationalized it but if you don't get to do that either it's harder to move on. I found the rejections in the US to be pretty clear and unambiguous. That I can live with. By contrast, someone in Britain asked me to come back and ask again later, then said no a second time. That was nearly 5 years ago and I've never asked her since!

Lucretia

10-24-2006, 03:39 PM

Englezul, thats alright by me but I was afraid someone else might have taken offence. Everyone doesn't write down whats coming in their minds. And I know my English needs to be refined. Sometimes I cannot understand all "nuances" in English texts.

/luc

Lucretia

10-24-2006, 03:48 PM

I think what happened is that it brought up the 'labeling' issue indirectly and I felt a little frustrated by it.

About labeling - I hate labeling ... I even wrote a hugh website on that "problem". I hate beeing categorized...or more....I hate beeing categorized with no chance to make people change their minds. I know what you mean by beeing turned down after only one tiny tiny chance.

About labelingproblems on the dancefloor.....
I've noticed a bunch of handsome looking (young) men for two years but I have never danced with them. When I and my identical twin enters the club - they line up for a dance with my twin. Could it be that this girl is my daughter and 30 years younger? :lol:

We have the same figure - same lenght - the same kind of clothes (she borrows mine) - I still dance better - but she has the age ;) :lol:

I can do nothing but laugh at the whole situtation and compliment for her success. She ask me if I get annoyed - but no I cannot. This is the way we where created....I take no offence in that.

Guess how surprised they get when I invite THEM for a dance. Lets hope they would like to raise a tribute for middleaged-mouse-grey-women ;)

/luc

GTO Bruin

10-24-2006, 04:28 PM

sweavo

10-25-2006, 05:34 AM

And from your avatar, I'd be lining up to dance with you! :p

Yeah, if the only difference between you and your twin is that you can dance, it must be that these guys think you are too good for them!

Lucretia

10-25-2006, 06:35 AM

Luc: I've been reading this thread with amusement over the past few days. One question: "Mouse-grey men" Is this a conventional label or a translation from Swedish? I've heard of women being described as mousey or someone having mousey-brown hair. The way you phrased it here, mouse-grey men, certainly paints a mental image and spurred on a lively discussion.:)

Mouse-grey-men is not a conventional label in Swedish. I guess I invented it - a direct translation from a swedish term usually used to describe women.

When a swedish girl is blond but not the light colour but the more dark one - it tends to look mousey. Lack of sunshine wintertime makes us pale - reinforcing the mousy look.

Sometimes the term is used to describe a personality...or aura...or lack of aura. A person that is not colorful, not fancy or non-hot at the first glance. A typical Swedish mousy person....(Compare us to the colorful latinos for example....)

GTO Bruin and all of you guys, I'm looking forward to dance with all of you some day!

/luc

sweavo

10-25-2006, 07:29 AM

typical Swedish mousy person...(Compare us to the colorful latinos for example....)

Hah. you should come to Britain for a bit. You'll feel better about the Swedes then! (Although I've never been North of Stockholm)

Danish Guy

10-26-2006, 11:31 AM

Luc: I've been reading this thread with amusement over the past few days. One question: "Mouse-grey men" Is this a conventional label or a translation from Swedish? I've heard of women being described as mousey or someone having mousey-brown hair. The way you phrased it here, mouse-grey men, certainly paints a mental image and spurred on a lively discussion.:)

It is also a Danish expression, I’m not sure if it gets different in the English translation. Anyway I know exactly what Luc is expressing. I’m sure the mouse grey men would take it as a pad on the shoulder, and not an insult.

And from your avatar, I'd be lining up to dance with you! :p

Yeah, get in line :p

I had the opportunity to dance with Luc this summer, and really enjoyed it!

Lucretia

10-26-2006, 01:24 PM

I had the opportunity to dance with Luc this summer, and really enjoyed it!
Me to - I enjoyed it very much (though I was in pain because of the discbulge).

And Danish Guy - you are definitely not one of the mouse-grey. But you can dance :) :banana: ;)

/Luc

Indiana_Jay

10-26-2006, 01:38 PM

When I and my identical twin enters the club - they line up for a dance with my twin. Could it be that this girl is my daughter and 30 years younger? :lol:
Were I a salsa dancer and in the same venue, I'd be in line to dance with Luc!