I'm dumping a great dance teacher

[pygmalion]

Help, guys. My heart is broken. For reasons I can't go into (he and some of his students are members of this forum, too), I feel I have to leave my dance coach -- a great teacher whom I also like. I really feel like it's the best thing for me, but it's breaking my heart. What should I do? Make a clean break? Postpone making a decision? Has any of you ever left a beloved coach? How did you handle it?

[peachexploration]

Yeah, I did have to make that decision about six months ago and it totally broke my heart. I still think about it and miss the great energy and the style of Salsa in the instructor's classes. It was not only the instructors that I liked so much but it was also the dance studio itself. Unfortunately, I had to leave because as a dancer, I was not getting what I needed. So, to make it easier for me, I just made a clean break. I am however on their email list just to keep in touch. I may return one day. :)

[Danish Guy]

I think moving on to new inspiration and new input have a better sound.

If you stay with one teacher only,
you risk ending like a clone of this style.
If he is a pro, he will handle it like a pro.
I would prefer to keep the door open, in case you discover
there is more you learn or need advice on later.

But if he reads the forum, the “cut” have already been made.

Best wishes, hugs & cheer ups. :friend:

[pygmalion]

Thanks for the hugs, John. :D And I like your way of looking at things. Of course, I already told him several days ago. I wouldn't break the news via the forum. That would be so mean. In fact, I wouldn't have posted at all, but I need moral support. :cry: :? Thanks. :)

[peachexploration]

...keep the door open, in case you discover
there is more you learn or need advice on later....

Big hug from me too Jenn! DG is right. Sounds like a good dance relationship so I know you'll always have your door open....

[pygmalion]

Thanks, peachexploration! You've met my (soon to be ex) teacher. So you know I think he's tops. It's just time to move on, at least for now. Yes, I'll keep my door open. But I do have to explore new options. *shrug* What else can I do?

[msc]

I know the feeling, Jenn. You have my sympathies.

[Swing Kitten]

hold in there girlie... it will all turn out

[SDsalsaguy]

Sorry I'm late to the thread Jenn... (I was sleeping off the DF awards)

Your coach knows how you feel about him Jenn. He knows that you like him as a person and think that he's a great coach.

I think what is key is that you need to do what you need to do for you!

Hugs always! —SD

[pygmalion]

This is going to sound weird, but what the heck. I'm among cyber friends. Grief is a funny thing, and grief is what I genuinely think I'm experiencing over this decision. All the stages are there -- awareness, denial, sadness, anger... I'm now getting to the acceptance part. Then I move on, right? Not bad. It's only taken me a week to get through most of the process. I've decided to have a heart to heart with him at our regularly scheduled lesson time on Monday, then as peachexploration suggests, make a clean break. But do it as diplomatically as possible so I don't burn bridges.

You guys are the best. Thanks for all the support.

[DancingMommy]

Help, guys. My heart is broken. For reasons I can't go into (he and some of his students are members of this forum, too), I feel I have to leave my dance coach -- a great teacher whom I also like. I really feel like it's the best thing for me, but it's breaking my heart. What should I do? Make a clean break? Postpone making a decision? Has any of you ever left a beloved coach? How did you handle it?

I ditto John. :)

[pygmalion]

Thanks, DancingMommy.

[pygmalion]

I need to say something here. Thanks to all of you -- the many of you --- who have emailed me, PM'd me, or posted supportive things. It is hard leaving a dance coach you love, like, value and respect. It's really hard. But it's made so much easier by my many dance forums friends.


Thank you all so much! :oops: :cry: :D

[salsarhythms]

Hey Pygmalion...

Hugs from me too...

I read this after I had posted a topic about this here:

http://www.dance-forums.com/viewtopic.php?t=1931

It does happen, but it's the right thing to do... :D

[pygmalion]

Okay. So I've decided to turn this into something positive, and catalog my dance teacher search here, for people who may go through the same experience later.

So far, here's what I've done.

1. On line research -- google of course, also local USABDA chapter, dancespots.net and instructor listings. More google to find references to performances, reviews, etc.

2. Made a list of what's important to me in a coach.

3. Gotten personal recommendations from a couple dancing friends.

(In the meanwhile, I've also kept dancing -- lots of public dances, practice at home, and group classes to keep me warmed up.)

Not bad. :wink: 8)

[pygmalion]

Oh yeah, and I left out getting piles and piles of PM's emails and IM's from supportive dance-forums friends. Thanks. :D

[Taita]

Jenn,

Don't forget to watch and enjoy competitions. Not only will this allow you to become closer to the competitive scene, but may put you in touch with some great coaches.

[pygmalion]

Thanks, Taita. That's a great idea. And that's the nice thing about living in Orlando -- there are a lot of competitions either here or within a few hours' drive.

Will do. And I'll keep you all posted on how things go.

Thanks. :)

[pygmalion]

Some random thoughts on this.

1. Maybe this is God's way of forcing me to move on to the something better that's waiting out there for me?

2. I must have been crazy to hesitate about Dancing Mommy's coach. He's good. I've seen him dance. I've seen his credentials. Will call today.

3. Maybe I should hedge bets and make appointments with two or more coaches. I don't ever want to be in a situation like this again -- suddenly and unexpectedly without a decent dance coach. Plus, I have some heavy duty goals for this year. Gotta keep moving forward.

4. One of the four ISTD examiners based in the US is within a 1.5 hour drive. Would it be too forward for me to contact her for occasional coaching? I know she teaches. And boy, she knows her technique.

[pygmalion]

*sniff* I called this afternoon. Oddly enough, I forgot that dance studios aren't generally open on Saturdays. Now I have to wait until Monday or Tuesday.

Maybe I'llemail one of my backup plan potential coaches, just so I can feel I've accomplished some forward momentum today.

Also, I can stay in shape by practicing with my bronze and silver smooth videos. The rhythm videos I lent out, and haven't gotten back yet. I guess I'll be forced to call in that loan, as much as I hate doing it. I really need something to practice with -- in the absense of a teacher.

[Sagitta]

You could always go out dancing too!! :)

[pygmalion]

Yes! I just talked to the new (potential) dance coach! He sounded really nice, and I have an appointment for Monday afternoon. :D 8)

[pygmalion]

1. Maybe this is God's way of forcing me to move on to the something better that's waiting out there for me?


First lesson today. My new coach is SO great! So great. Twenty-plus years experience, strict, nice , and humble. This guy is good. I have been blessed to find him. Thanks so much, DancingMommy. He's all you said and more. Thank you all. :D

[peachexploration]

1. Maybe this is God's way of forcing me to move on to the something better that's waiting out there for me?


First lesson today. My new coach is SO great! So great. Twenty-plus years experience, strict, nice , and humble. This guy is good. I have been blessed to find him. Thanks so much, DancingMommy. He's all you said and more. Thank you all. :D

That's great Jenn! :cheers:

[Swing Kitten]

good for you Jenn!! ROCK ON!

[DancingMommy]

1. Maybe this is God's way of forcing me to move on to the something better that's waiting out there for me?


First lesson today. My new coach is SO great! So great. Twenty-plus years experience, strict, nice , and humble. This guy is good. I have been blessed to find him. Thanks so much, DancingMommy. He's all you said and more. Thank you all. :D

OH YOU ARE SO WELCOME!!!!

He's a doll. If he weren't ten years older, married with kids and I weren't married with kids... And maybe I were a little taller.... :oops:

[pygmalion]

You're right. He is a cutie. But, to be perfectly honest, the fact that he's a man never once crossed my mind. He's that good of a teacher. I've never experienced anything like it -- someone who is so good, but also so self-confident that he can freely tell you what he doesn't know. He's a good guy. I can feel it in my gut. 8)

Thank you.