Age discrimination

[Shooshoo]

I was really surprised when a friend of mine was critisizing a woman in her mid-forties who came and danced and commented that she shouldn't be hanging around here with the 'young salsa crowd' and that she should try AT or something. It wasn't the first time I heard this, also this guy was critisizing a woman (mid-forties), that she came and danced regularly. For me that completely closed-minded (and I will be in my mid-forties in 10 years). They are very nice woman, just having fun and enjoying the dancing.

I am assuming that these ideas are because I am are in a Middle-eastern country and it's a culture thing or do people get similar comments in other countries? I also wonder whether it's a gender thing, cause there are older men who do not get critisized? Or whether this has something to do with the 'salsa crowd', the average being quite young?

[MacMoto]

I was really surprised when a friend of mine was critisizing a woman in her mid-forties who came and danced and commented that she shouldn't be hanging around here with the 'young salsa crowd' and that she should try AT or something. It wasn't the first time I heard this, also this guy was critisizing a woman (mid-forties), that she came and danced regularly. For me that completely closed-minded (and I will be in my mid-forties in 10 years). They are very nice woman, just having fun and enjoying the dancing.
:shock: :shock:

I am assuming that these ideas are because I am are in a Middle-eastern country and it's a culture thing or do people get similar comments in other countries? I also wonder whether it's a gender thing, cause there are older men who do not get critisized? Or whether this has something to do with the 'salsa crowd', the average being quite young?

In the UK the age spread is quite wide in salsa -- from 18 to 70, with a lot of people (male and female) in the 30s and 40s.

When I danced in Tokyo, I felt that women there tended to be a bit younger -- possibly a cultural thing (i.e., married women don't salsa)?

[Peaches]

At the risk of being culturally insensitive (because I know nothing about middle eastern culture, really)...

Wow, that just sounds terribly closed minded. Get a life, people! Enjoy your own dancing and forget about the age of those around you!

Sure, I tend to see age trends depending on the type of dancing and the venue...but that seems more to do with plenty of other factors (cost, location, atmosphere, etc.)

Sheesh...

[tj]

IMHO, it must be a cultural thing.

The % of people who think such a thing is pretty small in my experience. The amount who would actually say something smaller still.

[Shooshoo]

Good to hear, I'll just have to move then in 10 years time.

[Sagitta]

That works... :-)

[Vince A]

"Age thing?"

I haven't noticed . . .

[samina]

I am assuming that these ideas are because I am are in a Middle-eastern country and it's a culture thing ...

i'm guessing that the comments you are hearing are influenced by the M-E culture. my own background is similar, and a 40-something woman (like myself) partying with a hormonally charged ;) younger crowd would tend to raise eyebrows.

that happened to me when i was last in greece... an issue of consternation with family members. had to set-em straight with a firm hand... :cool:

[Shooshoo]

i'm guessing that the comments you are hearing are influenced by the M-E culture. my own background is similar, and a 40-something woman (like myself) partying with a hormonally charged ;) younger crowd would tend to raise eyebrows.

that happened to me when i was last in greece... an issue of consternation with family members. had to set-em straight with a firm hand... :cool:

I remember when watching the movie 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding', it was like watching an Egyptian family. It was just hilarious.

[yippee1999]

It may be cultural, if it happens to be more common in Egypt that, by a certain age, women are more "expected" to be married, and therefore not hanging out at clubs with "young singles".

Here in NYC, I've seen a good number of women in their 40s (like myself!), as well as some women in their 50s, out dancing salsa, and I can think of two women in particular (who appear to be in their late 50s/early 60s), and the men (of all ages) seem to love to dance with them. One of the women in particular has such a great energy while dancing, that I just cannot take my eyes off her whenever I see her dancing.

I really dislike any kind of mindset where you're supposed to "behave" differently because of the age bracket you might suddenly find yourself in. I think that's what makes life so interesting... when you surround yourself with people of different ages and backgrounds.

[samina]

I remember when watching the movie 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding', it was like watching an Egyptian family. It was just hilarious.

yes, they've always seemed very similar to me

gotta watch that movie again soon... whatta crackup...

[alemana]

Salsa crowd in nyc very mixed but still very youth-focused. I know some women who've left the scene because they were tired of being ovelooked. That said, your typical Jimmy's will include a very wide range of ages.

[quixotedlm]

Agree with alemana - older women get looked over here too. But that's usually because they are perceived as being bogged down by age and incapable of dancing well - same biases applied towards strangers in the scene and beginners. Otherwise, I see that skill always trumps looks and age. If she's a good dancer, she'll never have to worry about sitting out.

[noobster]

Salsa crowd in nyc very mixed but still very youth-focused. I know some women who've left the scene because they were tired of being ovelooked. That said, your typical Jimmy's will include a very wide range of ages.
I feel like the median salsa age is somewhere in the mid-thirties, with a wide range of course. I definitely feel more in-range for salsa than for house/trance, which I seem to be aging out of (I'm 29). You'd think all the same late-90s ravers would still be out there but I guess they've graduated to the suburbs and 2.1 kids.

But yeah, I think the age-discrimination thing is true. Actually I wouldn't have noticed it particularly myself (since it wasn't affecting me directly) but one or two of my male salsa buddies told me that the older women in the scene have trouble getting as many dances. And interestingly, I see far more 50+ men than 50+ women out there. Guess the guys aren't having the same problem.

Also I was surprised to hear one guy (in his late thirties) say sort of scornfully that he had given one woman a "pity dance" and thereafter she "followed him around" asking him for dances. Apparently the woman's crime was not that she was a bad dancer but that she was "older." Yikes.

I guess I'll have to start picking up something a little more 'age-appropriate' now if I still want to be dancing in 20 years. :x

[Shooshoo]

Also I was surprised to hear one guy (in his late thirties) say sort of scornfully that he had given one woman a "pity dance" and thereafter she "followed him around" asking him for dances.

This is one of the reasons I don't ask guys to dance. I don't want any 'pity dances'. I guess many guys go for 1) the dancing and 2) to get to know women. So it's natural that a younger guy wouldn't try to hit on a older woman, but of course older men don't have this constraint.

I think it's also partly culturely cause probably the 20 something guys look at the mid-forties that they can almost be their mothers and their mothers would never go dancing.

[tangotime]

Not so in the latino culture . In fact, one club in Tampa, was predominately 35 and up .The latino community looks upon the mambo/ salsa scene , as a family event , very often with children and grandparents attending. That , to me , is the beauty of the culture .

[quixotedlm]

This is one of the reasons I don't ask guys to dance. I don't want any 'pity dances'.

this has nothing to do with gender or age tho. even guys get stuck with pity dances - doesn't stop us from asking for dances.

[samina]

It may be cultural, if it happens to be more common in Egypt that, by a certain age, women are more "expected" to be married, and therefore not hanging out at clubs with "young singles".



ohmygoodnessyes...

[samina]

Agree with alemana - older women get looked over here too. But that's usually because they are perceived as being bogged down by age and incapable of dancing well - same biases applied towards strangers in the scene and beginners. Otherwise, I see that skill always trumps looks and age. If she's a good dancer, she'll never have to worry about sitting out.

yes, i've heard from a number of women my age or a little older that they get frustrated for lack of being asked to dance when they go out, even the ones who can dance circles around the younger folk. i don't know that it's age so much as a certain vibe they may be wearing, tho... if they don't themselves feel sexy or vibrant or confident, that's going to carry thru to many aspects of life... including the dance floor & how others perceive them

[DWise1]

this has nothing to do with gender or age tho. even guys get stuck with pity dances - doesn't stop us from asking for dances.

How else would they ever get better?

[DWise1]

It may be cultural, if it happens to be more common in Egypt that, by a certain age, women are more "expected" to be married, and therefore not hanging out at clubs with "young singles".

I don't know how it's developing in the Middle East and the rest of the world, but in the US increasing numbers of older women (eg, approaching or just past 50) are divorcing and reentering the "singles scene." And where are they supposed to go when they go out?

While our WCS classes and venues tend to have older dancers, Lindy has a wide range of ages for 17-year-olds to a man estimated to be in his early 80's (WWII fighter pilot). We have many first-time dancers in their late-40's/early-50's, most of them apparently suffering from the pandemic "suddenly single" that's been going around. I've seen very little age discrimination there, though I have to admit that I still feel reluctant to ask a much younger girl to dance.

The salsa scene has a fairly wide mix of ages, though more predominantly young. The Hispanic population here is mainly Mexican and salsa apparently isn't as integral a part of the culture as elsewhere, but rather is the hot new thing. A salsera friend around my age -- she's been dancing for at least 6 years -- has complained about not being asked to dance, but she blames that more on her brunette hair -- her blonde friends only a little younger than her have no such problem.

[Terpsichorean Clod]

I think the age thing slices both ways. I've noticed that after dancing with some followers for the first time, their compliments seem to indicate that I greatly exceeded their expectations (sometimes even borderline patronizing, even from newbies). Some of it might have to do with height (or lack thereof :mad: ) but I've had a growing suspicion that it's my being younger than the general ballroom demographic.