Stopping in the middle of a dance? [Archive]

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wooh

06-10-2007, 12:36 PM

Is there any way to do this gracefully without getting a bad reputation or really hurting feelings?
Last night during a mixer, this man stubbed my toes no less than 50 times. And he was wearing street shoes, that had those big thick hard soles that stick out, so it wasn't his toes stubbing me, it was giant hard shoe soles. And for a mixer round, it lasted forever, because he was taking little steps and lingering in places. Nothing I could do protected my toes. He had me in this weird AT like hold, and I kept trying to push back to give myself space, but to no avail. I kept my toes way far back, no luck. I've managed to protect myself from the worst beginner feet, going so far as to put myself all the way to the guys side, but I couldn't escape this guys feet of doom. He had no sense of rhythm, didn't change feet everytime he stepped, so there was just absolutely NO predicting what shoe was coming for me!
Point being, I've been in some BAD dances, but no matter what, I suffer through, make it through the 3 minutes and go on with life. Heck, a creepy guy, I'll suffer through and just see it as a challenge to keep his hands off my boobs. But even though it was only a mixer round, I wanted desperately to make it stop, my toes hurt and I had to perform later with my bruised toes! But I couldn't figure out what do I do to make it a graceful exit instead of a disgraceful exit. Don't want to hurt the guys feelings, don't want to get a bad rep, but my poor toes were suffering!!
So any tips? Is there a way? Or is it suffer no matter what?

waltzgirl

06-10-2007, 01:14 PM

"Would you mind escorting me to my seat? I'm not feeling well and I have to sit down."

You might even ask him to bring you a glass of water, to keep him out of the mixer for other girls' sakes!

mamboqueen

06-10-2007, 01:17 PM

You_are_hurting_me. Sometimes you just have to tell it like it is. You can't be responsible for how he feels once you tell him; life is too short to suffer through it!

noobster

06-10-2007, 01:18 PM

Just overreact to an injury and go sit down.

I used this once to get out of a really awkward dance with a creepy guy. Someone else did step on my foot, and it did hurt - but if I'd been having a nice time I would have gotten over the momentary pain and gone on enjoying the dance. Instead I yelped, "Ow! Ow-ow-ow!" and limped over to the side, rubbing my foot.

If he's the guy stepping on your toes this is an even more appropriate approach (doesn't he know that he's doing it? or doesn't he care?). Just act really injured, with luck he will apologize abjectly and be more careful thereafter. At the very least you can save yourself three more minutes of pain.

SPratt74

06-10-2007, 01:38 PM

"Would you mind escorting me to my seat? I'm not feeling well and I have to sit down."

You might even ask him to bring you a glass of water, to keep him out of the mixer for other girls' sakes!

I think that I like this one the best. I think if it were me, I'd say something similar. It wouldn't matter if it were his fault if I were desperate enough to get away from him. So, I'd put the blame on me if I would have to. And sometimes people don't feel well if they do certain moves like turning to much or what have you, so to me, I like this one. ;)

quixotedlm

06-10-2007, 02:15 PM

trip and fall, and act in pain.

wooh

06-10-2007, 02:55 PM

Terpsichorean Clod

06-10-2007, 05:19 PM

How about counting out loud every time he mashes your toes? You could increase your tally by two or three depending on how many toes he gets per mash.

Terpsichorean Clod

06-10-2007, 05:21 PM

anp73ga31

06-10-2007, 05:22 PM

Just overreact to an injury and go sit down.

I used this once to get out of a really awkward dance with a creepy guy. Someone else did step on my foot, and it did hurt - but if I'd been having a nice time I would have gotten over the momentary pain and gone on enjoying the dance. Instead I yelped, "Ow! Ow-ow-ow!" and limped over to the side, rubbing my foot.

Brilliant idea. Dont know why I never thought of it before....but it is an absolutely perfect way to 1) get yourself away from him, and 2) let him know what he's doing(in case he's too stupid to figure it out on his own!)

Oh, man, Wooh, you gotta do this next time. Only problem will be me trying not to laugh as you do so. Hee hee!

DennisBeach

06-10-2007, 10:53 PM

I would tell him he needs to provide more distance, until he can avoid stubbing toes. Particularily with street shoes. If he is doing this to everyone, pretty soon nobody well dance with him. So you would be doing him a favor.

elisedance

06-11-2007, 03:53 AM

:evil::evil: Nah, put on your stilletos, position one over the centre of his foot and do a spin. :evil::evil:

Then HE will ask to stop dancing. Works every time - and is a social service.

Joe

06-11-2007, 06:25 AM

trip and fall, and act in pain.
I don't think any acting would be needed if he kept stubbing her toes. ;)

samina

06-11-2007, 10:32 AM

Last night during a mixer, this man stubbed my toes no less than 50 times. And he was wearing street shoes, that had those big thick hard soles that stick out, so it wasn't his toes stubbing me, it was giant hard shoe soles.

i know this guy... mr. frankenfooter! i've encountered him at three studios so far... now he's showing up at your gig... man, he gets around... :rolleyes:

am wondering why i never just stop "stop the show"... makes sense to me. i am no masochist... hopefully there won't be a next time to stop, tho...

delamusica

06-11-2007, 11:27 AM

I only walked away from a guy twice. In a salsa club, I'd never danced with him before, I was new to salsa, it was crowded. He was repeatedly doing these fancy drops and dips, but in a way that was really really hurting my shoulder and arm. Every time he did it, I yelled "Ouch!" as loud as I could and as soon as I stook up, I yanked my hand back for a second and told him that it hurt. Then we'd start dancing again, and he'd do it again.

After the third time, I just walked away.

The second guy I walked away from was also at a salsa club. He was so into himself . . . oy. Barely touched me while dancing, spent most of the time doing shines and not even looking my direction. When I walked away, he didn't notice for a good 15 seconds. I didn't feel bad about it since he wasn't dancing with me anyway.

But if you're being hurt, just yell "ouch" and walk off the floor. Nobody would blame you - usually not even the guy. (the above cases were rare and examples of real jerks).

noobster

06-11-2007, 12:55 PM

Interesting. I have actually never walked away from a dance because I was being hurt. I just suffered through the dance and resolved never to dance with the guy again.

The two times I have left a guy on the floor were because he was being unimaginably creepy. Both of them were older. One of them was staring at my chest and appeared to be touching his own genitals while dancing. The other one was trying to dance a cha-cha way too close in this weird, jiggling, I-don-t-know-how-to-dance way while staring fixedly at my right kneecap. That was the one where I overreacted to the injury. (The first one I left without an excuse.)

Peaches

06-11-2007, 01:04 PM

fascination

06-11-2007, 03:04 PM

yep...oh...oooow...sorry.....somehow I've hurt something badly...it might pass...but for now I need to sit down...insert speeding car emoticon here

noobster

06-11-2007, 10:41 PM

Oh.dear.god. That's just...ICK!!!!!

I hope you told management or something about the first guy. Sounds like the guy is a genuine problem they need to deal with.

Eeeew. Makes me feel icky just reading that.
Tell me about it. It makes me feel icky remembering it. No, I did not tell management. First of all I should have been a little more cautious as I already know that venue is populated by creepy guys. Second of all I never saw that particular creep again anyway. (Although I don't go to that venue frequently and when I do I make sure to bring a male dance friend.)

Interestingly, neither creep actually asked in such a way as to give me the opportunity to turn him down. They both just took my hands and started dancing with me. This is pretty rude in itself IMHO and I should have torn away from them right away, but in both cases I was so surprised and taken aback that I just went along.

thespina13

06-12-2007, 12:28 AM

I had a guy in Chicago watch me do a really sexy bachata with a guy who really knew how to bachata, so decided that he could have his way with me on the dance floor, literally. He got right up close, kept doing this seizure-like vibration up against me (he was really short too, and I'm really tall), and then he took me down into this dip and started DRY-H***ING ME. I couldn't get up cuz he had me past my point of balance. I was disguuuuusted and when he finally lifted me, he went in for a kiss and i slapped him in the face and turned around and walked away. First time I've ever done that. Only time I've had to. Uuuugh.

As far as leaving a dude on the dance floor, I've been pretty clear about the foot hurting. I got a toenail hit (the big one) by a frankenshoe. The nail later came off. It hurt so much I really DID go down, I was so tired and mad from being exhausted, and having been hit in the face the previous week that I just lost it and went to the bathroom. The guy isn't a bad guy... he's quite nice actually. He just needed to be more aware of his feet. He's very cautious about asking me to dance now, and I actually have to ask HIM to dance if I ever feel like mending fences.

kayak

06-12-2007, 01:19 AM

Seems like intent is important in how to respond? I've been tagged with many elbows in the chest or face and the lady sure didn't intend to whack me while doing her turn. I've had a number of ladies catch me with their heal and I don't think any of them were part of the DF death by stiletto attack team :D

tangotime

06-12-2007, 02:15 AM

What was their "heals "name ? :rolleyes:

dancin/dj

06-12-2007, 07:17 AM

You_are_hurting_me. Sometimes you just have to tell it like it is. You can't be responsible for how he feels once you tell him; life is too short to suffer through it! In my opinion this is the best,why let a person go on and on in there bad/poor/ill manered call it what you will,at least you give a person a chance to know and we dont hide with silly, fake lies,its (there problem) they are hurting you..tell the truth.sure sometimes in public we dont like to do this i know, but i think we have too and im speaking more (for you ladies) im a guy and i had some women hurt me and never said mum but if its a repeat thing im a gona tell

DancinAnne

06-12-2007, 09:53 AM

We had a guy once at the studio who was attending classes, learning to dance, but he'd then he'd come to our parties and start dancing stupid. Jumping around, pulling and jerking on arms, and doing nothing of what he'd learned. Nothing ballroom whatsoever. He'd even yeehaw and such. It was embarrassing. The first time he did this to me, I did stop in the middle of the dance and told him that if he wasn't going to dance what he'd learned, then don't bother asking me to dance anymore and I exited the dance floor. He was more than shocked, though I was very nice and quiet about it...

After that, he would still ask me to dance and always did his best to dance well. With me anyway.

And we remained friends.

noobster

06-12-2007, 09:58 AM

I had a guy in Chicago watch me do a really sexy bachata with a guy who really knew how to bachata, so decided that he could have his way with me on the dance floor, literally.

Oh yuk thespina. That is an awful story. Bleh.

I've noticed this effect too. I have one dance friend that I like to get really flirty with - we are most definitely just-friends but know each other well, have danced a lot, and we probably look a bit over-the-line to outsiders.

(Lately we have developed this game where the point is to pinch the other person's rear end during the dance. Rules are that pinching 1) cannot interrupt the lead/follow and 2) must fit gracefully into the flow of the dance.)

Strangers watch me dance with this guy, then come ask me for a dance and try to do the same thing. Ick!! First of all they usually can't dance a tenth as well as my flirty friend, and second of all I don't want to dance that way with someone I don't know, regardless of dance ability. Ick, ick, ick.

dancin/dj

06-12-2007, 10:34 AM

Oh yuk thespina. That is an awful story. Bleh.

I've noticed this effect too. I have one dance friend that I like to get really flirty with - we are most definitely just-friends but know each other well, have danced a lot, and we probably look a bit over-the-line to outsiders.

(Lately we have developed this game where the point is to pinch the other person's rear end during the dance. Rules are that pinching 1) cannot interrupt the lead/follow and 2) must fit gracefully into the flow of the dance.)

Strangers watch me dance with this guy, then come ask me for a dance and try to do the same thing. Ick!! First of all they usually can't dance a tenth as well as my flirty friend, and second of all I don't want to dance that way with someone I don't know, regardless of dance ability. Ick, ick, ick.

women do the same, perhaps i"ll dance sexy with a girl then some newbie or someone who"s not part of the dance world will start grinding on me etc.. ehhhhhh ick ick for me too

9dncr

06-12-2007, 11:33 PM

women do the same, perhaps i"ll dance sexy with a girl then some newbie or someone who"s not part of the dance world will start grinding on me etc.. ehhhhhh ick ick for me too

What great fun! he he.. :ladiesma: