Dilema! Please help?

[danceislove]

Ok so I need some advice. I just sold my first dress on ballroomdancers .com. I have sold several dresses before, but always on ebay so this is a little different. I just sold a gown to a woman who never discussed any kind of return policy or anything of the sort with me, nor did I ever say I allowed returns.

She has now emailed me and said:
"I received the gown it is gorgeous, but unfortunately it does not fit me right, I must be bigger on the top than you, It looks AWFUL on me.What is your return policy? I can get this shipped out to you overnight tomorrow, if you let me know what to do.Thanks so much, I so appreciate the effort, but it just will not work for me and it is so beautiful, but I am sure someone else will benefit from this gown. I am just so thankful, companies and individuals like you allow us to buy and return if necessary."

If she had said she had intended on returning it I would not have sold it to her.

I told her:
"I am very sorry to hear this, but I do not have a return policy. If fit was something you were concerned about that is something you should have discussed with me before hand. You could look into having it altered or resell it. You could resell it on ballroomdancers .com, ebay, dance-forums .com, artrhythms .com or many other places. I am truly sorry it doesn't fit :( If you need assistance with finding a place to sell it I can help you research that.
Apologies,"

Is this acceptable? I'm not in the wrong am I?? I do not feel as though I am. I mean the situation is unfortunate, but could have been prevented if she had talked to me about it beforehand.

Please someone, give me a reality check (or support ;))

[Sagitta]

Did this person send you a check? If she did then she may be able to stop payment, even after payment has gone through, and then you have a royal pain to deal with. This happened to me recently, so now I will never ever accept checks again. The amount is too small to go to small claims court and be worth my while.

[and123]

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. She should have asked you about your return policy before buying the gown.

[danceislove]

She paid me with an e-check through paypal. Can she really do that? Just stop the payment? It has already cleared my paypal account. That isn't fair if she can do that!

[and123]

If you have already received payment via PayPal, probably the only recourse she has is to file a dispute, but in that case they will hear both sides of the story, and you made no guarantees as to the fit. I am certain they would rule in your favor. Keep copies of all correspondence in case you need it.

[danceislove]

I'm so glad to hear that I'm not behaving badly. I always worry in situations like these :confused:

[wooh]

I think if she had asked, I MIGHT have tried to work something out with her, with her paying all shipping costs (as stores make one do.) But her message to you was very manipulative, the tone of it was just very, "I'll trick you into letting me return it" and presumptuous. Which to me makes you much nicer in response than I would have been!

[danceislove]

I think if she had asked, I MIGHT have tried to work something out with her, with her paying all shipping costs (as stores make one do.) But her message to you was very manipulative, the tone of it was just very, "I'll trick you into letting me return it" and presumptuous. Which to me makes you much nicer in response than I would have been!

Oh I'm so glad someone else thought her email was rude too! Whew :rolleyes: It was the whole 'I'll just pretend you said I could return so you'll think you did and you'll let me' routine....

[Laura]

If, for any reason, you decide to accept the return, make sure that it is not possible that she had the dress over a weekend. You don't want to get into the situation where someone "buys" the dress, wears it at a comp on the weekend, and then tries to return it.

When I sell dresses over the internet, I have a 100% satisfaction guaranteed policy, with one caveat: I send the dresses to the buyer so they get them on a Monday or a Tuesday, and they HAVE to return them by Friday (via FedEx) or else they have to pay me a weekend rental fee. And the buyer pays for shipping and insurance both ways.

In all my days, only one person has returned a dress under my policy. Fortunately, I was able to sell it to someone else. The good news was that it didn't cost me anything for the potential buyer to try the dress on.

[danceislove]

Ok so the woman is now trying to bully me and is threatening me with legal action which I think is ridiculous.
She's telling me that:
"I am returning your gown via Fed-EX Overnight. I do expect a refund.
After consulting with my attorney- you never made any reference or statement on your ad or in your communications to me that this dress was non-refundable,etc. Only time you mentioned that was when I stated I would be returning it.
So, I am prepared to accept a return amount in the sum of $250.00 to compensate you for your time and inconvenience. If I do not recieve my money with the next 10 days since I am shipping gown out today. I will go after you legally and ask for damages in the amount of 3 times the purchase price making it $900.00 and as my attorney stated to me, I will win.
I have bought gowns from others at the same site you had your's posted and if they did not fit these individuals were all very happy to refund my money. With no additional compensation. Knowing that sometimes gowns do not fit the same on everyone.
Please, think about your actions and do not force me to take legal action because this is not how I like doing business. I try to be fair and professional in all I do.
Please look for the gown delivery tomorrow. Thanking you in advance."


I have not sent her a response yet, but this is my draft.

"If you were buying the dress to try it on then you should have said so. I have been asked in the past by people if they could purchase and return a dress from me and I have said no. That is what people do, they check first to make sure they could return it. You did not ask. You did not say you were concerned with whether or not it was going to fit, you did not ask me if you could return it if it did not fit. If you had I would not have sold it to you. It is not my policy to sell dresses for people to try on. There is no universal return policy on ballroomdancers.com (http://ballroomdancers.com/) or on ebay. That is why people ask before they purchase. Save yourself the shipping charges, the dress is not returnable. The situation is unfortunate, but could have been prevented if she had talked to me about it beforehand.
Respectfully,"

Please help this woman is being nuts! :confused: How do I handle this lady? I'm still very confident that I am in the right here.

[NielsenE]

since she's gotten a lawyer involved, I'd suggest you do the same before responding to her

[danceislove]

since she's gotten a lawyer involved, I'd suggest you do the same before responding to her

Well here's the thing, according to her emails she is a real estate agent...so I'm sure she just talked to some real estate attorney in her office or something. I mean she paid $290 for the dress, is that really worth attorney fees over?

[and123]

Try contacting PayPal about this. They've dealt with this crap a thousand times, I'm sure. You are a not a business with a policy of accepting returns for non-fit issues. *She* assumed too much here. And "damages"?:confused: What damages? Sounds like she's taking a ride on the looney train, plus I think she's blowing smoke. Were I in her shoes and I bought a gown that ended up not fitting me (and I always ask about returns BEFORE paying), I'd suck it up and re-sell it. Cripes!

[Peaches]

The woman sounds nuts. Next thing you know, she'll be suing you for $54million. ;-)

If you know of anyone who is a lawyer, that you could ask informally, I'd do it. The scary thing is, anyone can file a lawsuit for just about any reason. And that's all she has to do for you to be spending just as much (if not more) to fight it, than it would be to return it. As much as it would suck to refund her money (and she's so way off base), it could actually end up being worth it.

If you know how to research statutes yourself, then I'd suggest that, if you don't have someone you could ask.

[Peaches]

This is complete brainstorming, so I have no idea what the legal implications would be, but...

Maybe contact FedEx and see what their policy is about refusing delivery. I know you can refuse delivery from the USPS...I wonder if FedEx is the same way. (And, of course, ask what happens to the package--exactly--if it's refused.)

I wonder if you could refuse delivery and that would give you an added layer of protection. As in, you did not act in any way that would indicate a willingness to allow the return. If you refuse, she can't say that you took the gown back, but refused the credit.

Just thinking out loud, here.

[mamboqueen]

From my days of paralegal classes:

A valid contract must have offer, acceptance and consideration.

If she made you an offer and you accepted it and there was payment, seems to me you're all set.

Triple damages, I believe, are awarded in cases of fraud. Doesn't sound like fraud from what you are describing, however you haven't really provided the verbage from your initial conversations with her.

edit: this is barring any sort of statute in her state, or yours, that speaks to return of merchandise.

[danceislove]

This is complete brainstorming, so I have no idea what the legal implications would be, but...

Maybe contact FedEx and see what their policy is about refusing delivery. I know you can refuse delivery from the USPS...I wonder if FedEx is the same way. (And, of course, ask what happens to the package--exactly--if it's refused.)

I wonder if you could refuse delivery and that would give you an added layer of protection. As in, you did not act in any way that would indicate a willingness to allow the return. If you refuse, she can't say that you took the gown back, but refused the credit.

Just thinking out loud, here.


Oh yes if she sends it I will refuse the shipment. I had thought of that. They would just return it to her though correct? It doesn't like go somewhere else right?

[and123]

Tell her to get a breast reduction so the gown will "fit right" :rolleyes:
What, is she literally spilling out of it? Sounds like an overly picky person who oughtn't be buying used costumes.

[mamboqueen]

I don't think it's being overly picky to want a dress to fit you, but I think it should have occurred to her to ask the question: what is your return/try-on policy.

[Cal]

since she's gotten a lawyer involved, I'd suggest you do the same before responding to her

Ah - but, tarry a moment. The Buyer "says" she's consulted an attorney. Has she really, now?

Danceislove, if you really, really feel the need to make an immediate reply, you could reply that you'd like her attorney to provide the reference to the statute that permits a buyer to return merchandise and permits a buyer to ask for treble damages. THEN, after you receive that information, you could decide whether you want to consult your own attorney. It might very well be that she cannot provide the information.

Keep calm about the whole thing (it's hard, I know) but wait a bit and see if you get any real correspondence on a law firm's letterhead.

I know that you want all of this behind you, right now. You want it over and done with as soon as possible. But take a deep breath and sit back for a minute. Don't react to her in haste.

[wooh]

^^^ That sounds like good advice. I could send you an email saying my lawyer says I can sue you for selling dresses that aren't my size and it makes me feel bad. But it doesn't mean I consulted an attorney.
Not an attorney, but I watch a lot of shows about fake attorneys: She owns the dress, she's free to ship wherever she wants. Doesn't mean that whoever she ships it to will give them money for it, even if that person is you.:)

[waltzgirl]

I agree with Cal. A lot of people threaten you with attorneys and claim they've gotten legal advice, but it's all smoke. She may just be trying to scare you and see what she can get away with. I think checking with Paypal is a good idea. They may be able to advise you. And I think they have some kind of "buyer protection" plan. You might refer her to that and let her try to get the $ out of Paypal (which I doubt will happen).

Personally, I wouldn't buy a dress without a try-on (so I guess I can't buy yours :)), but in the future, you might want to protect yourself by stating "no returns" in your listing.

[samina]

Please help this woman is being nuts! :confused: How do I handle this lady? I'm still very confident that I am in the right here.

just allow the return & chalk it up to a lesson learned. not worth an ounce of additional aggravation, IMHO...

[samina]

after reading thru rest of the posts... even if you're 1000% in the right, "proving" it and gaining an outcome that validates your position can take a lot of time, energy, and tons of angst.

in the end, unless you are cornered some way & can't proceed any other way, if you can find a way to neutralize the situation & quickly move on, i recommend doing so. that could look something like receiving the shipment & turning around & reselling it on e-bay... with much clearer terms of return...

[jfm]

Doesn't Paypal also have some kind of seller protection?

Ebay says that private sellers have no obligation to offer returns so surely it is not her legal right to return the dress as you're not a business and she knew it was a second hand dress? I had a mad cow do something similar on ebay. she threatened me with negative feed back so i caved and gave in- but i really wish i hadn't. What ever you do don't agree to refund the cost of shipping and packing even if you return to a business seller you cannot ask for a refund on shipping.

I think she is lying about the lawyer.

[quixotedlm]

You have 3 courses available -
i. Stick to your guts, and let her eat mud. You'll probably win, but you risk being pulled into a mini-fight.

ii. Renege - take the dress back and pay her for it. Ask her to compensate for your shipping cost + she pays her shipping costs also.

iii. Create a return policy now. Make it hurt.
She is trying to make a return policy to exist as a fait accompli. Her whole argument is based on that premise. So create a return policy that says that the buyer pays all shipment costs and a 50% restocking fee. (This is not an unrealistic policy - I've seen it in real stores). She can either accept it (because now, a 'return policy' exists, although she may not like it at all, she is bound by it because of her own admission when she went fishing for the policy 'innocously' :rolleyes:). At this point, she will probably try to wiggle out of it, but she will be on the defensive and you will be on the offensive. Sounds like it's worth turning the tables on her.

[danceislove]

She is trying to make a return policy to exist as a fait accompli. Her whole argument is based on that premise. So create a return policy that says that the buyer pays all shipment costs and a 50% restocking fee. (This is not an unrealistic policy - I've seen it in real stores). She can either accept it (because now, a 'return policy' exists, although she may not like it at all, she is bound by it because of her own admission when she went fishing for the policy 'innocously' :rolleyes:).

I actually kind of like this idea! I would rather she just let it be and went away, but this would be a suitable alternative imo

[Larinda McRaven]

As a business, I would take the return and give her money back (minus shipping). It is good business.

As a customer making a large money purchase I would expect a business to not assume I have to keep something that obviously does not fit. Buying "sight unseen" requires cooperation on all sides. Even dress companies that seel 5K dresses won't make you take it if it doesn't fit and you are unhappy.

Regardless of her tone (I did not take offense at anything in her first post) I would treat her as graciously as possible. You will get all of YOUR money back. She loses twice on shipping. What is the big deal?

[Terpsichorean Clod]

Is it possible that she's somehow managed to damage the dress? She did say that it was too tight. :eyebrow:

[Larinda McRaven]

Creating a hurtful return policy now does very little to a transaction from before, it also sounds too stingy for future dealings.

I would create a return policy no matter what, but at least make it fair. Minus shipping and (you don't really have "restocking" like in a warehouse that employees spend time reorganizing) a small amount, $50, for your effort.

Certainly this is not anything that I would spend much energy or aggravation on. It truely is not worth it. I mean do you really want to pay for a lawyer and the stress over a "return" where you are not really out of pocket anything.

[danceislove]

Is it possible that she's somehow managed to damage the dress? She did say that it was too tight. :eyebrow:
As a business, I would take the return and give her money back (minus shipping). It is good business. She loses twice on shipping. What is the big deal?

I just do not trust her. In every way she has dealt with me it has been self-serving and dubious. I do not trust that she hasn't worn it or something has happened to it or if she just likes to do this for fun to steal dress designs. I have no idea, but I don't like it.
And the fact remains, I am not a business. I am an individual which is why I have no return policy. And I don't have hoards of cash floating around where I can just eat the fact that I no longer have $300 that I was counting on...

[Larinda McRaven]

Paypal also has a buyer protection program and it DOES include returns and refunds! I buy off of Ebay using Paypal All The Time. They definitely have sided with me (the buyer) in the past, when arguing over refunds and returns.

[Larinda McRaven]

But you not trusting her is not her issue, that belongs to you. Perhaps she just has bad communication skills. Everyone thinks I sound like a complete arrogant B when I write things. I actually am rather shy and quiet sometimes. Just a little too up front when I write. But I certainly wouldn't consider myself dubious or sneaky. Maybe she doesn't trust you either, obviously, and that is why she started to get tough. She thinks she is out 300 bucks and is left with a dress she can't even wear.

If she did not have the dress from Friday to Sunday, then she did not wear it to a comp or showcase. Almost all dress companies ship their try-ons at the beginning of the week and expect them back by Friday.

And if she hadn't bought the dress you would not have had the 300 bucks anyway. It is not such a huge amount that you will crash and burn over not having it. And again, it is not like you Out Of Pocket anything. You just don't get to close the sale.

I don't think she has to "prove" the dress doesn't fit. Imaging walking back into the Limited and having to put on a dress and explain why it doesn't fit you ... before even consider giving you a refund (and also call you a liar and a sneak)?

[Larinda McRaven]

If I were to steal a dress design I would not bother with a used 300 dollar gown...

[danceislove]

If I were to steal a dress design I would not bother with a used 300 dollar gown...

You've made your point that you agree with her.
I wasn't saying she was stealing the dress design, I was just listing examples of possibilities.

[quixotedlm]

Larinda's advice is good. It's better to be a flexible seller.
That said, if you are ticked off at her, then fight her anyway.

Larinda - you are talking about what businesses do, because they can afford to. Individuals probably can't afford to do these.

danceislove - in case you decide to be nice to your buyer, be sure to open the fedex package with a friend present, and take pictures. if there is a damage, you have a credible witness and photographs. then you can refuse to pay her money back, and offer to ship it to her at her expense or not. and if the goods are ok, then you'll be fine.

[mamboqueen]

you are talking about what businesses do, because they can afford to. Individuals probably can't afford to do these.



But, one problem to consider is that she will have established ill will with this person. The ballroom world is small. If she is to sell dresses in the future, it is better to have someone express a positive outcome of a situation. Someone is much more likely to spread a bad experience around. To me, it's not worth the $300.

[Larinda McRaven]

I dont agree with her. I would have made sure there was a return policy before I made a big purchase over the internet. She was not a smart buyer.

quixotedlm, Business cannot alway afford to be out money either. But no one is out money in this case. Danceislove gets the chance to sell her gown again (for free, unlike paying listing fees on ebay, or paying credit card fees a business loses on every transaction.)

[Larinda McRaven]

Quick poll in the studio:

3 - tell her (buyer) to piss off (almost exact words from one lady)
2 - of course take the return, it doesn't fit.
2 - be a good business person and give a refund even though you don;t think she deserves it.

[quixotedlm]

Quick poll in the studio:

3 - tell her (buyer) to piss off (almost exact words from one lady)
2 - of course take the return, it doesn't fit.
2 - be a good business person and give a refund even though you don;t think she deserves it.

i other words, 5 to 2 against your buyer!

statistics can say anything you want it to say ;)

[mamboqueen]

5 to 2? I'm getting 4 to 3 in favor of the buyer.

Danceislove - What would you want a seller to do if you were her?

[quixotedlm]

5 to 2? I'm getting 4 to 3 in favor of the buyer.

Danceislove - What would you want a seller to do if you were her?

you probably didn't wordsmith your poll questions to get the right answer ;)

[mamboqueen]

you probably didn't wordsmith your poll questions to get the right answer ;)

No - methinks you got the statistics to say what you wanted them to say. In some sort of twisted manner, at that! :evil:

[danceislove]

5 to 2? I'm getting 4 to 3 in favor of the buyer.

Danceislove - What would you want a seller to do if you were her?

If it were me I definitely would have inquired as to a return policy and if I forgot to I would realize it was my own dumb fault and I would take care of it myself.

[DancerForLife]

Tricky, tricky, tricky...

First and foremost, I am 100% on the seller's side. As a buyer, it is my responsibility to check for a return policy before buying anything, and as both a seller and buyer of dresses online, this is standard policy. I would NEVER think of returning something that I paid for and was delivered (i.e. the terms of our mutual contract were met), unless it was an option that we both agreed to before. As a buyer, I would try to resell it, or chalk it up as a learning experience. If one person bought it for $ 300, there will be another one to buy it close to that price...

Having said all that, after reading the two emails by the buyer the tone of the email is actually familiar. If it is the same person I dealt with in the past, I'd steer very clear of her. The experience I had (keep in mind it might be a different person) is as follows: the person had a couple dresses posted for sale. I sent an inquiry, asking for the height and street clothing size of the person in the photo. Received no response, until two weeks later I sent another message and let her know that I no longer need a response because I found another dress. In her return email I was accused of being a liar, and backing out of an agreement (which was never made). Then this person proceeded to make negative comments. I just did not respond, and did my best to forget the whole thing, wowing to NEVER, EVER - EVER have anything to do with this person in the future.

So what would I do in your situation... Ask yourself if the $ 300 is worth the aggravation of dragging this thing out. If yes, then several suggestions were made in earlier posts. If not, then take the return, send the refund, and let it be - even if you are right. You might also want to consider sending a note to the ballroomdancers.com webmasters letting them know about the person - while there is no way to ban the person from answering ads, perhaps there can be a post made on their online forums in a 'seller beware' section that this particular person is a pest and should be dealt with with utmost caution???

My 2c-s....

Good luck.

[danceronice]

Quick poll in the studio:

3 - tell her (buyer) to piss off (almost exact words from one lady)
2 - of course take the return, it doesn't fit.
2 - be a good business person and give a refund even though you don;t think she deserves it.

Obviously after I left today...heh, as a seller, I'm tempted to say "caveat emptor", but then I warn people to ask and I do have a return policy (it's harsh, buyer pays return shipping, everything must be in exactly the same condition, etc. but I think it's fair, as I am not refunding for something I can't resell-I deal a lot in collectibles and books and a little wear can kill value) but honestly....it's probably not worth the hassle. Return her money minus a handling/damage fee as she obviously tried it on, and know not to sell to this person again.

[fascination]

Well here's the thing, according to her emails she is a real estate agent...so I'm sure she just talked to some real estate attorney in her office or something. I mean she paid $290 for the dress, is that really worth attorney fees over?
until you get a letter from the lawyer...it's all puff and smoke...

[fascination]

Ah - but, tarry a moment. The Buyer "says" she's consulted an attorney. Has she really, now?

Danceislove, if you really, really feel the need to make an immediate reply, you could reply that you'd like her attorney to provide the reference to the statute that permits a buyer to return merchandise and permits a buyer to ask for treble damages. THEN, after you receive that information, you could decide whether you want to consult your own attorney. It might very well be that she cannot provide the information.

Keep calm about the whole thing (it's hard, I know) but wait a bit and see if you get any real correspondence on a law firm's letterhead.

I know that you want all of this behind you, right now. You want it over and done with as soon as possible. But take a deep breath and sit back for a minute. Don't react to her in haste.lol, am seeing now that great minds think alike

[fascination]

Creating a hurtful return policy now does very little to a transaction from before, it also sounds too stingy for future dealings.

I would create a return policy no matter what, but at least make it fair. Minus shipping and (you don't really have "restocking" like in a warehouse that employees spend time reorganizing) a small amount, $50, for your effort.

Certainly this is not anything that I would spend much energy or aggravation on. It truely is not worth it. I mean do you really want to pay for a lawyer and the stress over a "return" where you are not really out of pocket anything.
these are good points as are laura's...it is worth some energy to consult an attorney to draft some documents like this for you to send to folks to sign if you are going to do this as a business...having said that...I think laura makes a fair point about folks wanting to try on dresses and wear them over a weekend...and suddenly they don't need the dress anymore...but larinda is right about word of mouth..if this lady feels burned you could pay more in the end for being inflexible particularly given that the policy was vague...all good points to ponder

[Peaches]

I was just discussing this with DH, who does a lot of buying and selling over eBay. His $0.02.

1. Unless you get something from her lawyer, it's probably just a scare tactic.
2. Even if there isn't a lawyer involved, the cost to you (including the time it takes away from the rest of your life) could very well not be worth the hassle.
3. If she files suit, even if it's b.s., you've got to defend it. And then you're back to point #2.
4. As he understands it, when a sale is made through eBay it's critical how things in the listing are worded, because they become, in essence, the contract. In listing something, you agree to sell by those terms. In buying something, the buyer agrees to those terms. It becomes critical if you stated "no returns" anywhere, because that would have become the contract. If you didn't state it...that becomes more difficult. Caveat emptor and all that jazz...
5. EBay and PayPal have built in methods of resolving such disputes, and in using the services both buyer and seller agree to those methods. He believes that arbitration is what they use. In which case, you can let them sort it out.
6. If she's shipping via FedEx then she assumes all risk. If you refuse shipment, well, she's up a stump. He doesn't think they automatically ship it back to the sender, which means it could end up sitting on a loading dock somewhere. Which, really, is her responsibility. (Although, if it goes through arbitration and it goes in her favor, then you probably don't want the dress out in limbo somewhere.)
7. Do not accept shipment of the dress--because it strengthens her case. You can't really accept shipment, and then refuse a refund. No one is going to look kindly on you holding onto both her money and the dress in question.

Anyway. Like I said, just DH's comments, based on years of eBay transactions.

[waltzgirl]

But I think danceislove sold the dress on ballroomdancers.com. They don't have the same kind of policies and dispute procedures in place (though they do recommend using their escrow arrangement). If they used Paypal for the transaction, then they have whatever policies Paypal has.

As far a a suit goes, seems to me there might be jurisdictional issues. Is the buyer even in the same state? Don't know for sure, but I think a small claims suit would have to be filed where dil lives--will the buyer go to the hassle if she isn't local? Or if it's "interstate commerce" would it have to be in some kind of federal court? I don't know, but I don't think a suit is likely to be a real threat. But it depends on how determined/nuts the buyer is.

[danceislove]

Yes I sold it on bd.com not ebay. Also, the buyer lives in Arizona. fyi

[meow]

I am no legal expert, especially in US law, but I think that if she really had a good case she wouldn't be offering any compensation. She sounds like a right b**ch and is a bully making threats. You are not a company, just a person selling something privately - yes? So, in my view she can go 'whistle dixie!!!.' Remember the old saying - Buyer Beware. Tell her to sod off (a little more politely perhaps but you get my meaning).

[Peaches]

Yes I sold it on bd.com not ebay. Also, the buyer lives in Arizona. fyi
Oh, I'm sorry. For some reason I had it very firmly in my head that this was an eBay/PayPal sale.

[samina]

As a business, I would take the return and give her money back (minus shipping). It is good business.

As a customer making a large money purchase I would expect a business to not assume I have to keep something that obviously does not fit. Buying "sight unseen" requires cooperation on all sides. Even dress companies that seel 5K dresses won't make you take it if it doesn't fit and you are unhappy.

Regardless of her tone (I did not take offense at anything in her first post) I would treat her as graciously as possible. You will get all of YOUR money back. She loses twice on shipping. What is the big deal?

ditto

[Joe]

IMO the buyer should have made inquiries about returns prior to purchasing the dress. Wasn't she worried that it might not fit exactly right? I would've been--not that I wear dresses. ;) I know I'd have worried about being stuck with it if it didn't fit, and making inquiries as to what would happen should that be the case.

That said, I would take the dress back, and refund her 3 bills (or whatever the dress cost), minus shipping costs and minus a "rental fee" of whatever you think is fair.

[tangotime]

I will give you the best advice poss. --- consult a lawyer .

[quixotedlm]

Yes I sold it on bd.com not ebay. Also, the buyer lives in Arizona. fyi

but you used paypal?

[danceislove]

but you used paypal?

yes i did

[quixotedlm]

yes i did

iirc, paypal has its own seller protection in place.

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=p/gen/protections-outside

[danceislove]

Quixotedlm:
I went with your recommendation of providing a return policy that she could choose to abide with. I believe the situation is resolved (knock on wood), she has agreed and I'm waiting on her final response and approval. YAY!

Thank you everyone for soooo much help and feedback! You guys have been awesome!! Why I love DF!
:ladiesma:

[waltzgirl]

The Paypal dispute resolution sounds like a good thing.

Myabe you could offer to accept the dress back and refund her money when it sells again. She probably won't like the idea, but at least you're offering an alternative.

[wooh]

Hope it all works out!:)

[quixotedlm]

Hope it all works out!:)

ditto :)

[Twilight_Elena]

I came in late.
Oh my. What a situation! Glad it's resolved, but wow. I'd be so confused.

T_E

[meow]

I think there is heaps of good advice that has been given. If it was me, I know that I would be stressing terribly and be wanting 'to fix' the problem asap and have it go away. But, when you feel that way you can often make a mistake so it is best to stop yourself and calm down. There is a good saying "When in doubt, do nothing."
I would contact FedEx, PayPal etc., and get as much info as I could. The more informed you are the better. I think she is bluffing and just trying to bully you but it always helps to know where you stand.

[meow]

I came in late.
Oh my. What a situation! Glad it's resolved, but wow. I'd be so confused.

T_E

Since it is resolved ignore my last post - I guess I got lost.

[danceislove]

Yes it has been all resolved, thankfully. I gave her a partial refund and hopefully I can resell the dress ok. Thanks all for your help and advice!!!!!