View Full Version : Partner tryo outs...tips?
ThisIsNotMe
07-30-2007, 06:32 AM
So, I've just organised my first try out with an AM partner. I think he's a lot better than I am, from what I've heard, and I'm really lucky to get a try out with him, because as a guy, he could pretty much have the pick of partners.
For the record, it'll be at his studio (which is about two hours from me), and he initiated contact. We're around the same age, but he seems to be more experienced, from what I've been able to gather.
I was just wondering if anyone had some tips for making a good impression, and all that sort of thing? How do you handle a try out?
fascination
07-30-2007, 07:37 AM
look, it's a very good sign that he initiated...most dancers seeking a partner would be well advised to be willing to dance with a less experienced dancer who has good instruction, potential, and is highly motivated...be friendly, talk about your goals and how you tend to learn and process info, focus on your basics while you are dancing, and acknowlege your faults without being overly apologetic....do alot of listening FIRST......good luck
Laura
07-30-2007, 01:33 PM
This is obvious, but first impressions are important. A try out is sort of like a job interview. Dress in a nice practice outfit -- wear a skirt even if you always wear pants when you practice. Make sure your outfit is comfortable and fits well, you don't want to be pulling down a shirt or up a skirt all the time because it might make you look more nervous than you really are. If you have a choice of shoes, wear competition-style shoes rather than heavy-heeled practice shoes. Do your hair and makeup simply and neatly.
Most of all, remember that you are there to check him out, too. You aren't there to see if he wants to dance with you, you are there to see if you want to dance with him. Aside from determining if you like his dancing, also see if he's someone who you think you'd be comfortable spending a lot of time with in the studio. You don't have to be best friends and you don't have to adore his dancing (especially since, as you grow together as dancers, you will each come to like the other's dancing more and more). But if you can't stand to be around the person, think carefully as to if you can commit to a dance partnership. Sometimes partnerships between people who don't get along work for a while, but I'd imagine that it takes a lot of commitment to do that.
icequeen
07-30-2007, 02:25 PM
I've been doing partner tryouts recently, and agree with all of the above suggestions. Above all, be pleasant, direct, and honest. Keep in mind too that he may not be that much more advanced than you, if at all. I had a tryout with someone who marketed himself as a competitive gold-level dancer, but I would have been surprised if he placed in bronze finals.
On a related note, does anyone have tips about how to convey to someone that you don't think you are compatible as dance partners? If the other person thinks you're compatible, but you think you are not, what are some tactful ways of "rejecting" them? Do you tell them right away, in person? Do you tell them why?
lil glam gal
07-30-2007, 02:37 PM
just be yourself :) I've went through the process of going through tryouts just over a year ago until I found my perfect partner :) Just dance how you normally dance...
dandy
07-30-2007, 03:03 PM
Be yourself, be open to new things but above all have a sense of humour.
Good luck!!
It is good that he initiated the tryout. Go in, be yourself. If he wants to form a partnership from the tryout and you are not sure, than suggest another tryout in a week or so. No decisions have to be made immediately. Usually, a tryout is with a coach....if it is at his studio then it will be his coach taking the tryout. Be honest about your goals and the hours you are prepared to put in to practice etc. Good luck!
On a related note, does anyone have tips about how to convey to someone that you don't think you are compatible as dance partners? If the other person thinks you're compatible, but you think you are not, what are some tactful ways of "rejecting" them? Do you tell them right away, in person? Do you tell them why?
Most dancers, to some degree, have ego's. This isn't a negative because if they didn't they wouldn't be able to perform the way they do. But you must be aware that no-one likes to be rejected. And no-one would be happy to hear that they aren't considered compatable or good enough to dance with. If after a tryout you know you don't want to partner up, then say that you still have some other tryouts lined up. That gives both parties time to think (and perhaps reconsider) and have other tryouts. Be polite, thank them for the tryout and say that at this time you are unable to make a decision until you have completed all the arranged tryouts. Most dancers know what this means and they get the 'message' without their ego's being bruised.:)
samina
07-30-2007, 03:51 PM
On a related note, does anyone have tips about how to convey to someone that you don't think you are compatible as dance partners? If the other person thinks you're compatible, but you think you are not, what are some tactful ways of "rejecting" them? Do you tell them right away, in person? Do you tell them why?
i don't have a lot of experience in this departmet as others here do, but it seem so me that it would be the same as with prospective romantic relationships, in which case candor with gentleness always seems to me the easiest route.
"the chemistry's doesn't feel right" is hard to argue with, because it's all subjective. or maybe just highlight the differences -- differing goals, body type, technical approach, level of commitment or availability, etc.
madmaximus
07-30-2007, 04:39 PM
When I've tried out partners, the first thing that always impressed me:
1. Clean SATIN shoes (to try out with).
2. Really worn-out practice shoes in her bag (especially if dramatically worn out on the toe tip, the shoe-facing side of the toe box, and most especially the shoe-facing side of the heel box).
3. Big plus if the heel-wear is perfectly centered and is not biased to just one side.
m
madmaximus
07-30-2007, 04:44 PM
I've been doing partner tryouts recently, and agree with all of the above suggestions. Above all, be pleasant, direct, and honest. Keep in mind too that he may not be that much more advanced than you, if at all. I had a tryout with someone who marketed himself as a competitive gold-level dancer, but I would have been surprised if he placed in bronze finals.
On a related note, does anyone have tips about how to convey to someone that you don't think you are compatible as dance partners? If the other person thinks you're compatible, but you think you are not, what are some tactful ways of "rejecting" them? Do you tell them right away, in person? Do you tell them why?
Exactly what you said, and in person:
"I don't think we're compatible."
The dancing compatibility is easy, it's the human factor that's often the hurdle.
m
Natalka
07-30-2007, 09:57 PM
Exactly what you said, and in person:
"I don't think we're compatible."
The dancing compatibility is easy, it's the human factor that's often the hurdle.
m
Ha! TOTALLY true!
One additional REALLY important factor is finances...
Just like in marriage, money can be the cause of a divorce. So make sure you are also financially compatible and agree up front how many lessons you want to take from coaches, travel, etc... and that you will split things 50/50. Otherwise, it will cause tension and fight down the road...
One additional REALLY important factor is finances...
Just like in marriage, money can be the cause of a divorce. So make sure you are also financially compatible and agree up front how many lessons you want to take from coaches, travel, etc... and that you will split things 50/50. Otherwise, it will cause tension and fight down the road...
I agree. Some dancers can afford much more than others so be up front about what you can and can't do. Also, remember that is a partnership where you have to make decisions together. No-one is the boss. Courtesy and respect is the way to go.;)
ThisIsNotMe
07-31-2007, 03:33 AM
Hey, thanks everyone, I'll keep all of that in mind. On a different note again, it's become pretty clear to me that, while most things that I've gathered from the quick chat we had on the phone, and from text messages seem to be good - like our height (which never happens for me, cos I'm short), goals, amount of time wanting to work, number of lessons and all that sort of thing. The only thing that I really think might be a hurdle is the levels of dancing. He's been dancing for three years, with experience at some really good studios, is studying with his uncle, who's a well renowned teacher in our area, and is working in a dance studio, teaching (i think, from what i've gathered). I, on the other hand, have been dancing for a little over two years, take one group and one private lesson each week, have competed in one individual event in a competition, and can be considered an absolute beginner when it comes to quite a few dances. I've touched on a lot of dances, but by the same token, have not touched quite a few. I've only really done technical work on a couple of dances.
I feel like there's no way I can ever live up to him, and don't want him to come to the try out thinking that I'm better than I am. I feel like I'm somehow misleading him. Do you think that I should send him an email or something to make sure he doesn't have any misconceptions about my dancing?
piimapoika
07-31-2007, 03:48 AM
Well if he reads this forum, he'll know already. Seriously, don't send dthe email. It would sound as if you're having second thoughts about the whole thing and are really hoping he will call it off.
waltzgirl
07-31-2007, 03:53 AM
Have you told him factually what your background is? That's all you need to do.
You said he initiated the contact. Has he danced with you or seen you dance? If so, then you know he likes what he's seen.
Some leaders actually prefer a slightly less experienced partner. Presumably, she'll argue less and be more amenable to adjusting her dancing to his. He may find your less experience a benefit.
Don't apologize for your dancing. Just do your best and stress how dedicated to dance you are and how much you want to learn.
samina
07-31-2007, 09:20 AM
The only thing that I really think might be a hurdle is the levels of dancing. ...
I feel like there's no way I can ever live up to him, and don't want him to come to the try out thinking that I'm better than I am.
i've been told by a man experienced with many partners over 20 or so years of dancing that it is ideal for the man to have more experience than the woman (i recall anywhere from 3-7 X more, probly depending on how hyperbolic he felt in the moment ;)) because of the extra challenges inherent in learning how to lead, floorcraft, and on-the-spot choreography. there's also the general tendency (as told to me by numerous male pros) that women learn more quickly than men...:cool:
if you guys are on the same wavelength personally, find that you enjoy working together, and are moving in the same direction technically, his bit of extra experience could be a perfect match for you.
LucyDiamond
07-31-2007, 09:41 AM
there's also the general tendency (as told to me by numerous male pros) that women learn more quickly than men...:cool:
Interesting
Some leaders actually prefer a slightly less experienced partner. Presumably, she'll argue less and be more amenable to adjusting her dancing to his. He may find your less experience a benefit.
Very true. I had 2 partners like that ;) So go for it. Worse is you won't end up dancing together. What do you have to lose? If he's only been dancing for 3 years, that's not a whole lot of experience. Your 2 years is a very small gap to close. I wouldn't worry about it.
samina
07-31-2007, 09:49 AM
If he's only been dancing for 3 years, that's not a whole lot of experience. Your 2 years is a very small gap to close. I wouldn't worry about it.
exactly. his three against thisisnotme's two... negligible diff.
etp777
07-31-2007, 09:56 AM
You have to be careful with our fragile male egos. ;)
It is true. I love practicing/learning with a follow who is better than me, as I feel they can give better feedback as towards helping me improve, but I wouldn't want to partner with one. Not just an ego thing, but the other way around too, I'd feel guilty that I was holding back a better dancer. May jsut be me though.
icequeen
07-31-2007, 09:59 AM
It's easy to second-guess the other person and to think that based on whatever experiences they might have that they are better dancers. But you won't know until you dance with him and talk to him more about what he's looking for. I think the best thing is to go in and be confident of your abilities, your dancing, and yourself! You have a lot going for you, and he contacted you for a reason. Smile, be pleasant, and you'll do great.
I feel like there's no way I can ever live up to him, and don't want him to come to the try out thinking that I'm better than I am. I feel like I'm somehow misleading him. Do you think that I should send him an email or something to make sure he doesn't have any misconceptions about my dancing?
How did he find you? Has he seen you at a comp or did he get your info off Partner Search at Dancesportinfonet? If he found you in Partner Search, then in your ad did you give details of you experience, level, etc? If so, then he would already know where you are in your dancing. And, remember that his coach may have made enquiries at your studio. Ask your teachers to see if anyone has been asking about you and talk to your teachers about the tryout. It is a small world here in Aust and everyone knows everyone. Is he well known and of a high level (5,4,3?) and is his coach/uncle well known? If so, you can bet they wouldn't be wasting their time - you may have the 'potential' they are looking for. :D
ThisIsNotMe
08-01-2007, 02:48 AM
How did he find you? Has he seen you at a comp or did he get your info off Partner Search at Dancesportinfonet? If he found you in Partner Search, then in your ad did you give details of you experience, level, etc? If so, then he would already know where you are in your dancing. And, remember that his coach may have made enquiries at your studio. Ask your teachers to see if anyone has been asking about you and talk to your teachers about the tryout. It is a small world here in Aust and everyone knows everyone. Is he well known and of a high level (5,4,3?) and is his coach/uncle well known? If so, you can bet they wouldn't be wasting their time - you may have the 'potential' they are looking for. :D
He found me on the partner search function on dancesport.org.au. My ad said that I' been dancing for 2 years, but not muh more, except that I'm short and dedicated! He's probably not that well known, he said he wants to start competing in level 1, in all three styles. I think that his coach/uncle is reasonably well known, but i'm not sure. I know that the guy who's partnered me for individuals in the past has heard of him. But that might not mean he's well known. So really, they couldn't really know if i'm any good or not.
I think that everyone makes a good point about dancing with someone more or less experienced, but the thing is, though I've been dancing for two years, I still have only minimal grounding in most dances. And though he's been dancing for three, he says he works at a dance studio, he said something about teaching...I feel a bit intimidated...
I feel like there's no way I can ever live up to him, and don't want him to come to the try out thinking that I'm better than I am. I feel like I'm somehow misleading him. Do you think that I should send him an email or something to make sure he doesn't have any misconceptions about my dancing?
If you feel this way dear, you're already entering a severaly problematic emotional state known as "lack of confidence" (very technical term :wink: ) Guys in general do not want a woman (this would apply for dance partners too) who will feel so "privileged" to be with him... happy to be with him, yes. Honored to be with him, yes. But not without him feeling the same way. You begin to feel this way, and he will immediately not respect you. One-way-respect relationships of any kind simply do not work. Guys unfortunately also have a big problem with letting a doting woman blow up their ego... Bottom line: it sounds like you're walking into a job interview and saying "well, this company is really too good for me, but would you like to hire me anyway?" A healthy confidence (NOT ego) is often way more important than much anything else.
Now, he MAY be better than you. But you have to help him see what HE is getting from this partnership. It's a two-way interview. What if you meet him, he wants the partnership, but he turns out to be a real jerk when you meet him? Think of all your good qualities, and just be yourself and let him see those. Dance like you normally dance, and let it play out. While you can create your own world, change your circumstances and your reality, it's important to remember that you can NOT change the way others think. They control their thoughts and opinions, and you must simply live and be who you want to be (not who you are :wink: ). IF you are dedicated, hard-working, have a good working personality with other people, and like to have fun, then you WILL find a partner. Don't ever feel like this one is the last one available on earth. Never settle!
fascination
08-01-2007, 11:37 AM
thank you josh...that post helped me too
iluv2Samba
08-01-2007, 11:49 AM
Josh, that's an excellent. You analyze the issues at hand very eloquently. Perhaps you should go into politics? :-)
fascination
08-01-2007, 11:50 AM
no it absoulutely wasn't imflammatory or polarizing enough for that
iluv2Samba
08-01-2007, 11:58 AM
no it absoulutely wasn't imflammatory or polarizing enough for that
Are you referring to my post? I was honestly complementing Josh's post because it was very clearly and eloquently written with very good advice.
thank you josh...that post helped me too
awesome fasc, that makes me happy! :-)
Josh, that's an excellent. You analyze the issues at hand very eloquently. Perhaps you should go into politics? :-)
Let me give it a try.... *ahem* *clears throat* *points finger casually at the camera*
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman..."
wow, I think I got the hang of it ;-) next stop, white house! :cool:
Are you referring to my post? I was honestly complementing Josh's post because it was very clearly and eloquently written with very good advice.
I think fasc was saying that I'm not quite dirty/slimy enough for politics just yet ;-)
I'll volunteer to be the skeleton in Josh's closet!;) (Nobody let my husband see this!)
iluv2Samba
08-01-2007, 12:18 PM
I think fasc was saying that I'm not quite dirty/slimy enough for politics just yet ;-)
Oh, I see. I guess the true meaning of her post was lost in translation! :oops: Thanks for clarifying, "Mr. President" :)
fascination
08-01-2007, 12:19 PM
Are you referring to my post? I was honestly complementing Josh's post because it was very clearly and eloquently written with very good advice.
I was being tongue in cheek a bit about the fact that he wouldn't be of much use b/c those arenas tend to WANT something less measured
fascination
08-01-2007, 12:20 PM
I think fasc was saying that I'm not quite dirty/slimy enough for politics just yet ;-)
but definately hot enough to appeal to the camera
lol you all will get me in trouble! :oops:
but me likey, me likey... :raisebro: :banana:
and123
08-01-2007, 12:40 PM
Sounds like a lot of ladies are lining up to jump into your closet :cool:
samina
08-01-2007, 12:46 PM
huh... where'd my post go? DF ate it... was something to the effect of...
josh, you should take that post, turn it into a thread and sticky it so no one misses out on it. just loved it. :D
fascination
08-01-2007, 01:22 PM
lol you all will get me in trouble! :oops:
but me likey, me likey... :raisebro: :banana:tell her I'm harmless...
tell her I'm harmless...
You want me to lie?? ;-) j/k I know...
fascination
08-01-2007, 02:30 PM
well, lol, I give off lots of warning signals before anything dangerous happens....I am an open book
He found me on the partner search function on dancesport.org.au. My ad said that I' been dancing for 2 years, but not muh more, except that I'm short and dedicated! He's probably not that well known, he said he wants to start competing in level 1, in all three styles. I think that his coach/uncle is reasonably well known, but i'm not sure. I know that the guy who's partnered me for individuals in the past has heard of him. But that might not mean he's well known. So really, they couldn't really know if i'm any good or not.
I think that everyone makes a good point about dancing with someone more or less experienced, but the thing is, though I've been dancing for two years, I still have only minimal grounding in most dances. And though he's been dancing for three, he says he works at a dance studio, he said something about teaching...I feel a bit intimidated...
OK. He says he wants to start competing in Level 1. In Australia, this means, other than medals and maybe a couple of medallist events, he has no comp experience at all and may not even be registered yet. In the beginning one usually doesn't register til they have a partner and after some time being coached and training they are ready for a comp. He may have been dancing longer and know more dances than you BUT you are both beginners.
As for his 'teaching', I suspect he is only 'helping out'. To teach he must have his Level O Accreditation which I seriously don't believe he has after only dancing for 3 years. One cannot begin Level O Acc. training until they are at least 16 years of age and it takes quite a while - about a year of theory and practice, sometimes people take longer til ready for the examination. What age group are you, Junior, Youth or Adult?
Don't feel intimidated - the more info I'm getting from you the more I feel he may be exaggerating about his dancing. Talk to your teacher and get their advice. Most people have 2 tryouts anyway, one with each person's coach. :D
I went to partner search - would your initials be NG? If so, then don't stress out. I reiterate my previous post. I would like to add though, that I hope you enjoy the tryouts. And please get your teacher involved for support and advice.
ThisIsNotMe
08-02-2007, 05:48 AM
I went to partner search - would your initials be NG? If so, then don't stress out. I reiterate my previous post. I would like to add though, that I hope you enjoy the tryouts. And please get your teacher involved for support and advice.
Yep, that's me!
Thanks everyone else, I think I'm over the laco of confidence thing now, it's just something I go through for a little while before doing anything new, usually things like job interviews and so on.
Someone asked what age group we're in? Adult, I think, we're 18, so we could probably fit in youth, too. In reply to the same person, I think, I don't think he's teaching (well, on his own anyway) but said something about O levels...maybe studying for them?
Anyways, I'm feeling much better about the whole thing now,
Thanks everyone!
Nat
ThisIsNotMe
08-02-2007, 05:55 AM
Oh, and Josh, great post!
ThisIsNotMe
08-12-2007, 07:52 AM
Hehehe...just dragging this old topic up because I really wanted to ramble about the try out, and it didn't seem like reason enough to start a whole new topic. Well, it was this afternoon, and as so many of you told me, I had nothing to worry about. It was a lot of fun. Yes, he is a lot better than me (I suppose that comes from the several hours of practice daily as well as teaching full time - he does have his level O accreditation) but he is also very willing to work with me. We get along quite well (at least so far) and I feel like much more of an equal in this partnership than when I have danced with other guys in the past (regardless of their experience/proficiency). The try out went very well, we'll be organising a second soon, but it already sounds like it'll probably work out. Apparently I follow well, and pick stuff up quickly, both also (apparently) good things.
We're (at the moment) looking at starting competition next march, and know which teachers we'd like to go to. Money may be a slight issue: with me only working three and a half days a week, on trainee wages, three lessons a week (and one from one of the very best latin teachers/dancers in the country, therefore expensive) could be a bit much, along with the petrol for two hours drive each way. Any suggestions on how to handle that?
Thanks again everyone for the support and advice when I really needed it!:D
Congratulations! Sounds like it's heading off to a good start! Now you can relax & enjoy your follow-up tryouts ;)
I'm really glad tryout went well.:) Three lessons a week; is that all three styles? If it is all in Latin, suggest two lessons a week until you can earn more money. Shouldn't be a problem, especially as it sounds as if you will be the one doing all the travelling. And have fun!:D
ThisIsNotMe
08-13-2007, 02:04 AM
I'm really glad tryout went well.:) Three lessons a week; is that all three styles? If it is all in Latin, suggest two lessons a week until you can earn more money. Shouldn't be a problem, especially as it sounds as if you will be the one doing all the travelling. And have fun!:D
Yep, all three styles: my current teacher for new vogue, his current teacher for standard and a new one (Paul Green, is who he's set on going to) for Latin.
I suggested spreading the three lesosns out over a fortnight, and just doing a lot of practice in between, and that may be the way we go for a while. Just till I can earn a bit more.
Just out of interest, what is the 'going rate' for dance teachers? The average price seems to be $60 (AUS) for an hour, but Paul charges $90 (AUS).
How many lessons weekly is average, and how many hours of practice?
Hi. Yes, the going rate is $60 per hour. I can see why Paul charges more as he is a former (more than once) World Latin Champion. You will have to decide for yourself if you can afford him - if not, there are some other great coaches in NSW.
Everyone is different, but the average is an hour lesson in each style per week with as much practice as possible, depending on your goals.
Also, NV isn't recognised around the world, only in Aust, so if $ is a problem perhaps stick to 10 Dance (standard and latin). Something to think and talk about.
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