Going to concerts alone vs. going to clubs alone

[HothouseSalsero]

I find that I am more reluctant to go to salsa concerts by myself than I am about going to clubs. I don't really have a problem going to clubs alone, but at concerts people seem to more often be coupled. At any rate, it's harder to find someone to dance with. I am missing out on something major this weekend because I put off buying tickets, hoping I could come up with a date (even if only in a loose sense). I had talked about going with one of my salsera friends, but she has temporarily stopped going out for personal reasons (and I respect her reasons and am not interested in trying to persuade her to change her mind).

Anyway, do others find it more difficult to go to concerts alone?

[youngsta]

I'm with you, I go to clubs alone and don't even think about...but I'd rather go to a concert with someone. Unfortunately, sometimes you gotta do it and I AM going to a concert alone on Feb 18. There are just some performances I HAVE to see at any cost! :lol:

[peachexploration]

Well, I'm the reverse. I'd rather go to a concert. Clubs can be a little unnerving for me if I go alone. Don't particularly care for the meatmarket in this area. I don't feel as much pressure when going to a concert. I actually like watching the artist.

[salsachinita]

Interesting subject........

I've always been going to clubs alone, unless I have a real date.

Yes, I do prefer to go to salsa concerts with someone. But we get so few salsa concerts down here, I go to as many as possible, date or no date(and I would find all my salsa community there anyway)!

I have been to a few salsa concerts in the States & one in London. Yes, I would prefer to have someone there....but when you're out of town :roll: ...

(incidentally, the only place I really don't go alone is the movies......)

[pygmalion]

Very interesting. I've been to concerts, movies, restaurants, seminars, you name it, by myself. I never have (and likely never will) go to a nightclub by myself. Too scared of pick-up attempts by wackos. Hmm.

Maybe I should try it once ... Nah! I know too many people who like dancing. Why not just go with some of them?

salsachinita (or others) have you ever had a bad experience going to a club alone, or am I just paranoid?

[salsachinita]

Bad experience from clubbing (I mainly go to salsa clubs) alone.......? Nah, not really.

If drunks or wackos bother me (rarely happens) I let the security guys deal with them :wink: !

Sleazeballs are easy enough to ignore. If they are persistent, tell the security.

Be aloof initially, until you feel your way around the club. Hang out where the dancers are, not where the bar is :wink: . When in doubt, near the DJ box or dance floor are good places.

The worse that could happen is that I get turn down for every dance I asked :x (then run out of ppl to ask)! It's only happened once ever, so I'm doing alright.

Clubs are not at all scary. Being alone is really cool, too. You get to roam around freely searching for the next dance partner, instead of worrying about the friends you came with (who just sit there :roll: )!

[pygmalion]

Okay, okay so I'm paranoid. :oops: :lol:

And I know what you mean about the freedom that comes with being alone. I've gone to many a dance studio outing at clubs and felt constrained, as if I had to stick with and dance exclusively with the people I came with. What a drag that can be.


:idea: I know. Maybe I'll recruit peachexploration, and we can go "alone" together. :lol: :lol: :D

[dancing_moogle]

Very interesting. I've been to concerts, movies, restaurants, seminars, you name it, by myself. I never have (and likely never will) go to a nightclub by myself. Too scared of pick-up attempts by wackos. Hmm.

Hey, that's me too. :lol: Of course, the only exception is when I choose to go with a group of friends to social outings. When I go by myself, I do try to be careful about wierdos who may pick up on me. But so far, I haven't had such a problem. The last time I went to salsa by myself, I had a blast! I danced with so many guys. There were other girls who went by themselves, too. And this salsa club is located 2 hrs from my home. :shock:

It can be quite an adventure, pygmalion. So try it one of these days. But also be careful when you're out by yourself. :wink:

[peachexploration]

Okay, okay so I'm paranoid. :oops: :lol:

And I know what you mean about the freedom that comes with being alone. I've gone to many a dance studio outing at clubs and felt constrained, as if I had to stick with and dance exclusively with the people I came with. What a drag that can be.


:idea: I know. Maybe I'll recruit peachexploration, and we can go "alone" together. :lol: :lol: :D

Hey, this is a new year! We must do it soon my friend! :lol: :lol:

[Sagitta]

Speaking from my limited experience I know ladies who do it alone and don't have any problem...as salsachinita says. Going in a group to any event can constrain you, but it doesn't have to. For instance, tonight I mentioned to someone that I was going to the Ithaca Social dance, said there would be a free waltz lesson and offered to give her a ride if she wanted. (A ride as she does not have a car, she is a nice person, and likes learning to dance!!). I'll probably spend some time with her, more then I might if I didn't ask her if she wanted to come along, but not enough to feel constrained. :)

[Vince A]

For you ladies that do this or are even contemplating doing this . . .

Please, please, if you go alone and you leave alone - meaning no one picked you up - have one of the bouncers "escort" you out to your car and have him wait until your car is started and running! Be safe. And a "thank you " is all that is needed as payment . . . maybe a hug down the road. Any bouncer worth his weight would gladly walk you out!

This keeps you safe . . . gets you to know that bouncer - you may need one someday to get a jerk off of your a** - and sometimes, after a few weeks, they may no longer charge you the "cover" to get in. I speak from experience!

[SDsalsaguy]

...and sometimes, after a few weeks, they may no longer charge you the "cover" to get in. I speak from experience!
:shock: What? You have bouncers escorting you to your car? :wink: :lol:

[pygmalion]

:shock: I was hoping he'd say he was the bouncer. :lol:

And peachexploration. Let's chat about when and where. :wink:

[salsachinita]

I think it's an excellent idea for DF family members to go salsa clubbing together "alone".

Here locally I've got Capricorn Dancer & Madam Samba.......we had a blast during the week :D !

I've also met up with RedHairMermaid in Sydney....it's was fun!

As we are all dance addicts, we kinda 'dispersed' as soon as we get to the club & 'hunt' for our next partners. Then we meet up now & then to dance with each other. Real cool 8) .

[HothouseSalsero]

Now I'm going to let you know what really inspired this thread.

Last night El Gran Combo played in Philadelphia, at the hotel where I (very irregularly) go to the gym. I waited until this past week to get try to get tickets, because I kept hoping I'd find someone to go with me.

I MISSED EL GRAN COMBO PLAYING NOT FAR FROM WHERE I LIVE!!!!!!
EL GRAN COMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:shock:
:cry:

Never again. Next time there is a similar situation, I am going to set a deadline and say, okay, if I don't have a date in [x number of days] I will just buy a ticket for myself, or buy two tickets and put pressure on myself to find someone.

[HothouseSalsero]

Keep in mind: this is Philadelphia, not New York. Yes, they do make it here once or twice a year, but that's it.

[Vince A]

...and sometimes, after a few weeks, they may no longer charge you the "cover" to get in. I speak from experience!
:shock: What? You have bouncers escorting you to your car? :wink: :lol:
Absolutely . . . she was 6'3" and built like "China" of the WWE :wink:

[Vince A]

:shock: I was hoping he'd say he was the bouncer. :lol:
I was . . . I was just pulling Jonathan's chain . . .

[peachexploration]

EL GRAN COMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:shock:
:cry: ....

Oh Dude!!!!!! :doh: Well, next time! :D

[youngsta]

Now I'm going to let you know what really inspired this thread.

Last night El Gran Combo played in Philadelphia, at the hotel where I (very irregularly) go to the gym. I waited until this past week to get try to get tickets, because I kept hoping I'd find someone to go with me.

I MISSED EL GRAN COMBO PLAYING NOT FAR FROM WHERE I LIVE!!!!!!
EL GRAN COMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:shock:
:cry:

NOOOOOOOOO!!!! :shock:

[salsachinita]

Never again. Next time there is a similar situation, I am going to set a deadline and say, okay, if I don't have a date in [x number of days] I will just buy a ticket for myself, or buy two tickets and put pressure on myself to find someone.

Great policy, HHS :D ! I used to be like that 15 years ago, always waiting for someone to go to concert etc. with me. Until one day, I woke up & said to myself: "ENOUGH! I will never miss out on things any more, alone or not!"

I went and learnt Salsa, alone. The rest was history 8) !

[salsachinita]

Just thought of something........

The only major concerts/shows I've missed out were actually during the times when I have been in serious relationships.......

Reasons...? Too expensive to buy two tickets, saving for a house, too wrapped up in issues wthin each other to notice the concerts were actually on, etc.

:? Maybe single life is better :? .......

[pygmalion]

In many ways. You left out deferring to what he wanted to do, not wanting to have the argument again, his being no fun at concerts ...

Can you tell I have baggage? :oops: :lol:

[salsachinita]

:lol: Jenn, not at all :wink: !

Isn't it interesting, that the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence :? ?

When we are single, we crave for that someone.

When we are with that someone, we yearn the freedom that comes with being single.

How many of us are living for NOW?

How many of us are actually happy?

:lol: Can you tell that I'm still soul searching :lol: ?

[HothouseSalsero]

I have usually been okay about going alone to things I really wanted to see. With salsa concerts, the fact that I want someone to dance with kind of puts a different spin on things.

[dessaix]

I have never been to a club before but i have always danced in parties, weddings etc. After a few months of salsa lessons (advanced I) now i think i am about ready to hit the clubs around here in miami.

the reason i have always delayed going is that none of my friends are into spanish music or can dance well and i refuse to go with a family member so I after reading this thread i guess its not a bad idea going alone after all..


i just wanna be comfortable dancing salsa, socialy, before i head off to the more dominican clubs around here and mix it up a bit


i enjoy dancing salsa but i LOVE listen and dancing bachata/merengue and its the dominican girls im after 8)

[SDsalsaguy]

Welcome to the Dance Forums dessaix! :D

Nothing prepares you to dance in the clubs like dancing in the clubs does, so go for it! :banana:

[Redheadedmermaid]

When I was game enough to go to a salsa club alone (ie reached a level I felt I could dance with people), I started going to the lessons before, even if they were beginner's lessons, then you meet lots of people. Because I consistently go to classes (at clubs and at schools) I've also met lots of people and can easily go to a club and see many people I know.

I've been to a concert by myself (not salsa) and was on the dance floor. I had fun, but did feel somewhat uncomfortable.

In Mexico and Argentina I would not recommend a woman go to a salsa club alone. The culture is very different.

[SurfSalsa]

When we are single, we crave for that someone.
When we are with that someone, we yearn the freedom that comes with being single.


Very well put Salsachinita!! I find in other dance forms (like ballroom) it's nice to have a "built-in" partner, but in salsa I find it severly restrictive!! But I must add my partner does not share my salsa-addiction to the same level, nor does the see the advantages/thrill/experience/play/etc of dancing with as many people as possible...

[squirrel]

I don't have a problem going alone to the club where I go regularly... I know everybody and everybody knows me. However, if a new club or a new "night" were on, I'd get a friend with me. It's not that I am afraid, just that I prefer to have somebody to dance with, in case nobody there is available.
We don't have concerts over here... so I don't know... Actually there were 3, but I missed them all... the first time it was too expensive for me, the second I was in Paris and the third... well... decided to buy tickets too late! :(

Still, I hardly ever go alone to the clubs... and if I do, I find my friends there... it is hard to be alone when you have 70 dance students or so, out of which about 20-25 are people you usually hang out with (Salsa and non-Salsa related)...

When I was in Paris, I missed the best Salsa night in La Pachanga club because I was afraid to go there alone... and no one wanted to join me...

But I ended up going there alone, after 4 days without dancing... :( I felt I had to! I went on Friday (dressed VERY conservatively - and I was very very hot, as the club has poor ventilation) and enjoyed it so much, that I went again in Saturday, this time "less conservatively dressed"... :)