Eating Disorders

[PaulaAbdulFan]

I have battled bulimia for about 7 months and am currently in self-recovery. (I can't get counseling till I'm 18 as my parents don't believe in it.) But I have a book called "The Ultimate Weight Solution for Teens" by Jay McGraw and it has a whole chapter in it for people with EDs. I am on a meal plan right now, as well as a self-prepared exercise program, and am working through the therapy presented in the book. I am on my fourth purge-free day.

Am I the only one here who has struggled with eating disorders? JW.

:-)

[Swing Kitten]

Hang in there kiddo! We're here for you.

*hug*

[Sagitta]

It's good to see that you have put yourself on the right path!! That shows what a really strong person you are. We are here if you need any encouragement or support.

:friend:

[salsachinita]

PaulaAbdulFan, this topic touched me. Can I tell you how I admire your courage in working your way out alone, via self-help/dancing.......?

I was there. I was VERY close. For years I couldn't talk about it, my eating disorder. It came from a deep self-loathing. Dark, powerful & distructive. It twisted my views on body image & self-esteem, and wrecked my very first chance of potential true love (in a healthy relationship), with my salsa mentor.

Dancing was my true salvation. I learnt more than just to dance. I learnt how to live.

And I am still learning. Now I am living with MS. I am getting stronger everyday. I cannot do it without my dancing :D !

Follow your passion, PAF. It leads to a satisfied life.

DF is a wonderful place to be. You are not alone. *HUG*

[pygmalion]

Yes, hugs.

I have never had an eating disorder -- I had different emotional issues as a teen -- a sad story for another day.

But I had a close friend who came very close to dying from anorexia. So I've seen first hand what a struggle it can be to gain or regain a sense self-esteem, value and your own intrinsic beauty. Hugs. Hugs, and admiration for your courage -- facing and confronting the issue, even without family support. You can do it. You can do it.

I almost started a thread on this a couple months back -- there was a crusty, dusty scientific study I found on the web, which showed a distinctly higher incidence of eating disorders among dancers, especially teenage female dancers, than the general population. So, even though you may or may not find a lot of people in this forum who have experienced EDs themselves, know that you are not weird, or alone, in your struggle. There are lots of girls out there just like you. Well, no, not just like you. You're special, because you have the courage to call a spade a spade and get yourself some help.

Love.

Jenn

[dr daffy]

i'm with everyone in that i really admire your courage in dealing with an eating disorder like that. it takes a lot to do that. i've never actually had an eating disorder but i have come close to actually being diagnosed with anorexia and my friend once had bulimia. if it weren't for my friends and my family, i wouldn't be where i am now, eating right, and feeling good about myself. and i'll be honest, there are many times where i look at my reflection in the mirror and i'm not happy with what i see but i try to look past that. my friend however struggled with bulimia for two years. at first, her friends, like me, had no idea, but when we caught on, we pushed her to get help and unlike you, she couldn't do it by herself. so, i'm pretty amazed at your courage and confidence in yourself. it takes a lot to gain that... good luck with the battle and i'm glad it's going well. :wink:

[dancersdreamland]

*big hugs*

My thoughts and prayers are with you...

[PaulaAbdulFan]

Aw, thank you all so much! You are all so so so sweet. *hugs*

I feel awful lying to my mom, b/c she did ask me a couple of times if I was throwing up, but I absolutely cannot tell her. It is not an option. She doesn't believe in counseling, and she would only believe that I had a devil that needs prayed out. My dad would be furious, b/c as he has told us girls many, many times, "my daughters are not crazy. People who throw up or don't eat or screw their lives up are just crazy. And if you do that, you're crazy... so you're not my daughter." :roll:

My voice teacher/mentor knows, and she is sooo supportive. She is always asking me how I am doing and is trying to get more info for me. My best friend (Ann, aka the choreographer! lol) also knows, she used to have an eating disorder as well so we sort of keep each other accountable. I am soooo blessed. :)

salsachinita, you sound so much like me, the more I read your posts!! Maybe we can chat sometime......
And also to ALL of you -- thank you again!!!!! You don't know what your support means to me.... DanceForums rocks. I am so glad I found it. :)

*HUGS*

~Ayla~

[pygmalion]

I don't want to actually pray for you in a public forum, PAF, but I have to say that I pray the Lord will protect you and keep you on the path to self-acceptance and joy.

In private, I am praying, and will continue to pray for you. As a teen, I was raised in a dysfunctional family that told me it was disloyal to seek outside help or counseling. So I didn't get help until my twenties, when I was on my own and out of the house. I'm not going to tell you what to do, in terms of getting yourself help.

I just want you to know that, whatever else happens, you are okay. You're plenty good enough. There's nothing intrinsically wrong with you. You're a good person, who is loved by God, and by other people. We all love you.

Hugs. Hugs. Hugs. Day 5.

[peachexploration]

Hugs from me too PAF. You are in my prayers as well.

[NeoDevin]

I'd include you in my prayers, except I don't pray... so I'll just send some hugs your way.

:friend:

[salsachinita]

salsachinita, you sound so much like me, the more I read your posts!! Maybe we can chat sometime......
~Ayla~

For sure! Chat/e-mail/PM me anytime you like......! I am here for you, my dear.

I just wished that forums like this existed when I was going through it all back then :roll: ........

[PaulaAbdulFan]

*sighs* :(

Here I am, back at Day 1. :oops:

I dunno what happened. Well, I guess I do... I had pitch problems in voice lesson, I don't have my piano piece memorized for recital yet (it's in a month), I'm nervous as hell-o about my new job starting Monday... and then I ate chicken and fries from Dairy Queen today. :roll:

I am strong. I will make it. God will help me.... I deserve to get better, I am an intelligent person with alot to offer. (Maybe if I keep repeating these things I will truly begin to believe them...)

[SDsalsaguy]

I deserve to get better, I am an intelligent person with alot to offer.
These things are all so very true PAF... don't you *ever* forget them, OK?

Setbacks do happen... to the best of us, and in all situations. Don't waste time on what is past (:headwall:) Learn, grow, and move forward (:car:) ... that is all anyone can do.

Know that my :HUGS: :friend: and prayers are with you...

--Jonathan

[Swing Kitten]

I am strong. I will make it. God will help me.... I deserve to get better, I am an intelligent person with alot to offer. (Maybe if I keep repeating these things I will truly begin to believe them...)

They are called affirmations and although they may feel dorky at first they really do make a difference. They help give a sense of safety and hope that is so very important. -- try writing them down five times each each day-- you'll be amazed.
"An affermation is a strong, positive statement that something is already so" --Shakti Gawain

You'll be alright. It will be hard but you know what? You'll be an even stronger person for having dealt with this! I know that's not exactly comforting-- but it's true.

[salsachinita]

I am strong. I will make it. God will help me.... I deserve to get better, I am an intelligent person with alot to offer. (Maybe if I keep repeating these things I will truly begin to believe them...)

You bet.....!! By writing these words down, you've ALREADY made yourself a promise.........BELIEVE in them. Most of all, believe in yourself.

Goodbye, Day 0.
Hello! Day 2!

My thoughts are with you. *HUG* :friend:

[TemptressToo]

I was border-line bulimic/anorexic in college due to stress...especially late in each semester. I was so stressed out I could not eat...and sometimes when I did...it would come right back up.

I survived by keeping eating fairly simply...things like cereal, simple meals, etc. Also, herbal supplements...ginsing and green tea.

Many times, eating disorders result from some extenuating circumstance(s) and when these outside sources peter out...so does the eating disorder. I guess you could say it is almost a phase. Now, some people do have deeper emotional problems requiring counseling...but often, especially if you are young, maturity comes along and snaps you out of it.

My advice...take it a day at a time, fill your days with activities and people who love you...and relax. One other thing...I found keeping a journal of my thoughts and feelings to be very helpful. It was a source of venting and looking back, I could see where I grew as a person and some of the problems I faced and overcame.

[PaulaAbdulFan]

I was doing so good... on Day 6 of no purging. But I kind of ate alot of junk during the last 2 days or so, and I'm pretty sure I gained some weight back that I had lost. So I purged again last night. :(

Now I'm just back to counting calories... 1800 a day is what I'm supposed to consume if I want to be 120 pounds. Which I do, cuz right now I'm... more than that. :oops:

Oh, also, I'd slacked on my exercising... GOT to start getting my butt back in the move w/ that.

Oh btw TempressToo I totally know what you are saying with the whole not being able to keep food down thing. Lately I have been having lots of stomach problems, and it seems like I get sick every time I eat. I really am worried about stopping this, b/c I have to go to the doctor soon for a completely unrelated female problem, and I am so terrified she'll be able to tell I'm bulimic. :shock:

Anyway THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!! You're all so sweet. *muah* *hugs* God bless you abundantly. Luv ya'll......

[pygmalion]

1800 calories a day? That seems like an awfully small amount of food for an active teen who is doing the exercise thing. Several articles I've read suggest that healthy, active, women (older than teenagers and with generally slower matabolsims) need to eat 2000 to 2500 calories a day, in order to have enough energy to build muscle. And building muscle, ultimately, helps keep weight down, because it burns much more calories than fat does. It's a fine balance.

Have you considered talking to your doctor about this whole thing? By the hippocratic oath she signed, she has to keep anything you say to herself. She can't even tell your Mom, if you ask her not to. And that way, you'd have at least one person close by that you could use as a support system. Just a thought. I mean, you have lots of friends in DF, but, for the most part, we're not doctors. We can support you the best we know how, but that might not be what you need. Hmm. *shrug* :?

[borikensalsero]

Hang in there... You have made the greatest leap by knowing that there is something that you have to overcome. The courage it takes to accept that is exactly the courage that will carry you through to a smilier tomorrow.

Here are some *HUGS*. If you need more, we'll send you more.

I wish you the best, you can definitely do it. Soon 6 days will be 10 days, 10 will turn into weeks, weeks to months, and months to a lifetime. :D :D :D

[Swing Kitten]

Also.. is 120 lbs. a reasonable goal? ... it might be for you-- I don't know-- but there are things to consider

hieght (of course) as well as frame--some people are just more densly built-- I'm one (which gave me an issue or two growing up that I could share later if it might help)

% body fat-- that's the real thing to try to measure if you must measure something. The bathroom scale gives you very little information. As you exercise at first you will gain weight... this is muscle which wieghs more than fat but looks better and is so much healthier. Having muscle burns calories... calories are not bad-- your muscles and your body needs them. just aim for the healthier sources ;)

Health (in all it's forms) is the most important thing anyone could strive for and I encourage you to do so. But please don't get all hung up about a number (like 120) -- the number is NOT important the only thing that is important is how you feel. Being 120 lbs won't resolve any of your problems for real.