Getting that second dance

[danceguy]

I need some advice from the other Salsa folks...what are some of the finer points of Salsa dancing that you can do to ensure that your partner really enjoys her time with you?

As I'm getting more and more into Salsa I'm finding that it is a rare occurance to have someone agree to a second dance, mainly those dancers who are more experienced than I am.

I ask lots of women to dance as I love to dance, and I really go out of my way to dance with women that are strangers to me. But I notice that many of them seem bored...and while I know that my dancing isn't that great, I don't think I'm that horrible to dance with.

I get compliments now and then...but pehaps I'm simply asking the wrong ladies to dance? I do know that I want to reach a new level in my dancing...so I'm going to schedule some privates and work very hard to improve my skill.

People have mentioned eye contact, presence and other things...but there are any of specifics that people can think of? Thanks in advance...

SG

[Hank]

When I first started dancing, I asked my teacher why women didn't seem to want to dance with me. She told me that I wasn't a good enough dancer. After a few thousand dance lessons, I asked her why women still don't want to dance with me. She told me that I'm too good a dancer. Apparently there was a sweet spot about 3 minutes long when I was exactly the right level. Unfortunately, I must have been in the restroom at the time and missed that song.

Seriously, if you're dancing at a club, women may be making their decision based on how interested they are in you, which probably has nothing to do with your dancing. If they dance with you several times in a row, you might get the idea that it's OK to sit with them, buy them a drink, and ask for their phone number.

[pygmalion]

Oh, Hank, that is too funny. You have a point, though. A lot of women don't like to dance with newbie leads (their loss, I think), and really good leads can be intimidating. (Just for the record, I'll dance with anybody, for fun. Just check my profile on dancepartner.com. That's exactly what it says.)

I also think you have a point about the club thing. I try very hard to maintain my distance from guys at clubs -- within the confines of having to dance with them, of course. And, at least where I am, one dance is the rule. More than that, and somebody's likely to get the impression you actually like each other. We can't have that, can we? :wink: :lol: :?

[youngsta]

I don't know what to tell you SG. Are you relaxed during the dance? Do YOU look like you're enjoying it? Are you concentrating to much on getting a second dance instead of enjoying the moment? There are a lot of factors to think about.

[dancin_feet]

I'm not a club salsa person, but basically I'll dance with anybody. Even "really new" beginners - everyone has to start somewhere, and where would I be if no-one danced with me when I was starting out?

About the really good dancers, I find that a lot of women find an excellent dancer really intimidating, especially one that likes to challenge who he is dancing with. For myself, I love being challenged on the dancefloor. So I will most likely stuff up at least once, big deal. How else do you improve if you don't get thrown into something new and stuff it up? Next time it will be better. 8)

[Danish Guy]

But I notice that many of them seem bored...

Yeah, isn’t that a downer! :(

I avoided asking the best followers in the start, because I didn’t want to risk looking into those bored eyes, even if there was a smile on the face.

But I improved my lead, and then added new things to what I was able to lead.

On night one of the most talented girls asked me if I wanted to dance. Sure, and I thought that if she was bored, she couldn’t blame me. Halfway trough the song, she complimented me for my lead. Since that, I danced with almost everybody. :D :D :D

But I still find some bored eyes now and then. :oops:

How many dances is very different from place to place. One dance will just give you time to dance with someone you wouldn’t get to if you danced 2 or 3 dances with the others. Don’t make it a problem. Only one dance doesn’t mean she didn’t like to dance with you. . Just let there be some opportunity for the lady to ask for the second.
:wink:

[Estella]

What does it mean "not good enough"? :shock:
I almost never refuse a dance invitation... only if I´m very very tired....
My opinion is that FUN is important and not the level of dancing!
And I almost never dance only one dance.... actually in Europe everybody tries to dance at least 2 times.... otherwise the partner could be offended... :roll:

[danceguy]

Hmm, lots of interesting replies, thanks everyone. As far as the one dance rule at clubs...the Salsa scene in my area is quite small and not as much of a meat market as you would find at a club in a larger city.

I go to dance first and foremost, and if I meet a nice girl well that's great, but its not my sole reason for going out. I avoid hanging out by the bar and engaging in all the flirting and picking up that goes on...just not my thing.

I always consider it polite to share a few dances if you enjoy dancing together. Usually the first dance is all about getting a feel for how your partner moves (and no I'm not talking about coping a feel), so a lot of times for me its a warm up.

Of course, other times I want to run screaming but out of courtesy I will finish the dance and then excuse myself. :?

Hmm, I think I need to just start getting more floor time. If I'm only having once dance per person, then I'll have to start asking 3 times as many women to dance. :wink:

[SDsalsaguy]

As one of my salsa mentors told me, "I try to get at least one laugh or smile out of her per dance -- if I don't, I've failed." You can only dance at your own ability level -- even if you are working on improving it. But if you can make the experience fun and enjoyable you'll never have a shortage of the right type of partners.

[danceguy]

Thank you SD...many people hit upon something that I've noticed myself doing recently. I'm usually so worried about my lack of dance skills that I tend to tense up and forget to enjoy the dance. Some days everything goes great, but other times I worry too much about looking like a beginner, especially when I'm at a more crowded venue.

Hmm...I need to start enjoying the dance more myself and let go of these fears...and hopefully whomever is dancing with me will enjoy the experience more as well. :wink:

[youngsta]

Thank you SD...many people hit upon something that I've noticed myself doing recently. I'm usually so worried about my lack of dance skills that I tend to tense up and forget to enjoy the dance. Some days everything goes great, but other times I worry too much about looking like a beginner, especially when I'm at a more crowded venue.
I was told this very thing when I first started, almost verbatum! Just enjoy dancing...you'll be amazed at just how much that alone speeds up your improvement! :wink:

[Sagitta]

Thank you SD...many people hit upon something that I've noticed myself doing recently. I'm usually so worried about my lack of dance skills that I tend to tense up and forget to enjoy the dance. Some days everything goes great, but other times I worry too much about looking like a beginner, especially when I'm at a more crowded venue.
I was told this very thing when I first started, almost verbatum! Just enjoy dancing...you'll be amazed at just how much that alone speeds up your improvement! :wink:

Ditto!! :)

[borikensalsero]

Ok... Here is my take on a second dance. However, I must mention that I do not do consecutive dances with the same person, unless of course, it is my Lady Love.

I always thought of salsa as making love. Even when I didn’t know how to mambo, I was passionate. I have what, I think it was May 2002 Tango Magazine Cover Featured dancer told me, the intensity of a World-class tango dancer when I dance. I never cease to hear the intensity comments of which I dance, night in/night out, from everyone I dance with. Even onlookers take the time to come up to me to say that watching my face alone is enough for them to enjoy the dance. I make a billion and one faces, all with a gleaming intensity that isn’t usual in the salsa world. Enough self-centered talk…

SG, when you dance with a girl, I find it works best for me to think of lovemaking, as personal as it might seem, it works miracles. Think that you are making love to her through the music, hold her like others don’t and won’t. Lead her as smooth as smooth gets, penetrate her eye-contact so deeply that she will be glued to your every move, make her feel that intense feeling of fire in her stomach. Make her get lost in your world of mambo, regardless of repertoire, or skill level. Think that when you two dance, she will savor every moment of the dance. You must pick and choose whom you will dance with, and how many times you will dance when trying to give yourself to your partner as I mention. Chances are that if a person’s pinnacle of dancing is having fun, you will have a hard time getting through to her, You can only hope she can come along in a journey of unknown grounds. But when you break through and master the technique even onlookers will want to dance with you all night. Experienced dancers will break the clique just to dance with you, when not breaking the clique you are the one they’ll be watching dance. You will be the one whose name they’ll be asking at the end of every dance. Plus you’ll get the ones who don’t know how to react and a permanent smile will be displayed all through the dance. Basically be comfortable with yourself on the dance floor, use what you know about yourself and the world you have experienced to come out in that dance and merge into her via a world of tunes and mambo. Don’t hold yourself back, dare to be different, dare to be the one who is going to take ever partner from a smile to an OMG what was that?

It takes a lot of energy, it takes focus, it doesn’t take that much dance technique, it is tiring, but completely rewarding. When you are done, you will think that you were dance-meditating…

You wouldn’t believe the amount of compliments I get from advance followers who’ve never thought a dance could get passed fun. I give them all of me during that dance. All the fire I feel in myself is given to the person across from me. It get so darn intense that I can visibly see a light gleaming from my partner’s eyes to mine, and one of the main reasons to pick and choose who, when, how and why. The rest of the time half the dosage usually has the followers ear to ear letting themselves be guided by someone who makes them feel, sexy, the one and only, special, and fulfilled… It is all about what you gift a person with that makes the difference in that second dance. Hey, if you are able to transmit the love you have to that person, there aren’t many that will run away from a second dance. But it happens…

[Vin]

Heck Boriken, that post makes me want to dance with you again, and I haven't even danced with you once, and I'm a guy.

[danceguy]

Boriken - Thank you...what you write reminds me of how I feel inside...but I rarely allow others to see this part of me. I have so much passion to share and I've realized that I tend to be very distant when I dance...but a few times that part of me has come to the surface and I have noticed the effect on my dance partner.

Hmm...let the true person come out in the dance...its a tough one for me man, but its also something to strive for. Like we were talking before, I've got to get "off the mountain" and allow someone else to take the journey with me...

[borikensalsero]

Heck Boriken, that post makes me want to dance with you again, and I haven't even danced with you once, and I'm a guy.

lol... Lets dance... again... :D even if we haven't and you are a guy...

[volleybgrl]

Damn Boriken. I'm always speechless after reading your posts. Those are some lucky girls that get to dance with u. :wink: :D

[borikensalsero]

Damn Boriken. I'm always speechless after reading your posts. Those are some lucky girls that get to dance with u. :wink: :D

Thank you :oops: :oops: :D ... But on the other hand, it is me the one who is lucky, for these ladies have given me the chance to share some of me with them. :D :D

[vey]

Boriken, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.... :notworth: :notworth: :notworth:

And how you manage to verbalize so beautifully and precisely such intuitive subtle things is beyond me....
(I usually feel awkward writing after your posts, although, english isn’t my first language but it’s no excuse...).


SG, I ‘m not sure but may be describing my recent experience will be helpful in some respect - look at it as a little pick into a head of a beginner-follower. On the same night I’ve danced with these two guys:

One, a good-looking beginner with good timing and good leading skills but very reserved. He did three moves in different order over and over again: basic step, basic turn and xbody lead. (and he performed these three moves perfectly). He asked me several times during the night but after 2 dances I started saying no (and hiding in the ladies room for the duration of the song to avoid other invitations). And it’s not really the limited repertoire of moves that got me (although, I think, if a person can lead one type of x body lead, he can do at least half a dozen of it’s varieties), it’s really his lack of emotion and enjoyment, I felt like some kind of practice machine that he was using to perfect his already perfect moves...

Second guy was a street dancer, not nearly as good-looking and also with a limited arsenal of moves. And “poor beginner me” is usually horrified of street dancers, with them I can’t even fall into safety of a basic step (they don’t do it!). But after 30sec of awkwardness, we clicked and had a blast, I went through the roof, following him, doing shines and all sorts of things (and I’m not even comfortable with shines yet!). Although he wasn’t smiling or making permanent eye contact, he made me feel appreciated and “taken care of”. He asked me several more times that night and needless to say, I wasn’t hiding in lady’s room.... :lol:

[borikensalsero]

And how you manage to verbalize so beautifully and precisely such intuitive subtle things is beyond me....
(I usually feel awkward writing after your posts, although, english isn’t my first language but it’s no excuse...).


Thank you so very much vey... Thank you...
I'm sorry that you feel awkard writing after my posts. I know my writting style goes wild from time to time... Everyone's writting is unique and beautiful, even if the words we choose do not depict as many beautiful colors as we wish, the content is what makes the difference, and content Vey, you lack none. Please don't allow a little awkardness to take away from the value you bring upon Dance_forums and know that for every enjoyment you get from my writting I get the same from yours....

[vey]

Everyone's writting is unique and beautiful, even if the words we choose do not depict as many beautiful colors as we wish, the content is what makes the difference, and content Vey, you lack none. Please don't allow a little awkardness to take away from the value you bring upon Dance_forums and know that for every enjoyment you get from my writting I get the same from yours....

Thank you, Boriken!
And not to worry, a little awkwardness won't prevent me from writing at my beloved DF :lol: :lol: :lol:
(Even if it’s just some rambling, mumbling or whispering, as long as it’s about salsa, I will go on and on...)

[salsachinita]

Boriken, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.... :notworth: :notworth: :notworth:

:notworth: exactly :notworth:! What can I say.....?

Boriken, you are the ONE!

[danceguy]

One, a good-looking beginner with good timing and good leading skills but very reserved. He did three moves in different order over and over again: basic step, basic turn and xbody lead.

Hmm, after hearing that list of moves (and especially the good-looking part) I think you may have been dancing with me! :P

Seriously though, thank you for sharing things from a follower's perspective. I know that mostly I am way too reserved...but others times I'm more relaxed...it varies night to night and venue to venue. Sometimes I just tense up and I'm not even in my own body...no fun for the lady at all. :(

Hmm, well I wouldn't have continued to ask for dances if I saw the lady didn't enjoy herself...and one "no" will keep me away for the rest of the night. Oddly enough, I'm getting more women asking me to dance these days...actually last time I was out...I was asked to dance more than I asked other people! :shock:

Probably just a fluke. ;)

Take care,

SG

[salsachinita]

Damn Boriken. I'm always speechless after reading your posts. Those are some lucky girls that get to dance with u. :wink: :D

Thank you :oops: :oops: :D ... But on the other hand, it is me the one who is lucky, for these ladies have given me the chance to share some of me with them. :D :D

*mental note to self: Go dance with boriken in NYC before the line of ladies waiting to dance with him gets too long :roll: :lol: *

[danceguy]

*note to self inspired by salsachinita* Since all the ladies will be waiting in line a very long time to dance with Boriken, I should be able to get a few of them to dance with me while they're waiting. :P

[borikensalsero]

Damn Boriken. I'm always speechless after reading your posts. Those are some lucky girls that get to dance with u. :wink: :D

Thank you :oops: :oops: :D ... But on the other hand, it is me the one who is lucky, for these ladies have given me the chance to share some of me with them. :D :D

*mental note to self: Go dance with boriken in NYC before the line of ladies waiting to dance with him gets too long :roll: :lol: *


Thank you salsachinita. :D You can cut line anytime you wish :D

[borikensalsero]

Boriken, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.... :notworth: :notworth: :notworth:

:notworth: exactly :notworth:! What can I say.....?

Boriken, you are the ONE!

:oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:

you are too much salsachinita... how can I ever thank you for the many sweet words you have directed my way??? Thank you.

[vey]

One, a good-looking beginner with good timing and good leading skills but very reserved. He did three moves in different order over and over again: basic step, basic turn and xbody lead.

Hmm, after hearing that list of moves (and especially the good-looking part) I think you may have been dancing with me! :P


SG, you crack me up :lol: :lol: :lol:
You may be reserved but I'm sure you're not using your followers as "organic dance apparatus" to practice your moves.

The number of invitations you're getting these days may be an indication that you're becoming a desirable leader. Do not dismiss it! :lol:

[Jack]

A lot of times I don't want to dance with same the lady again, I just say enjoyed it and move on. Sometimes even though I liked dancing with her, I get more dances this way i "think". Still experimenting w this :)

[Jack]

hey I did good sat nite didnt get a turn down all nite...must of been great Karma....It was nice.

[peachexploration]

Yay Jack! :cheers: :D

[DWise1]

ScorpionGuy:

I share a number of your characteristics as you described them. But I found that having the right attitude helped me get around them.

After decades of having it pounded into my head that I could not possibly ever learn to dance, our company started offering subsidized Salsa lessons after work so I decided to give it a try, especially since my wife had just mentioned to a friend that she'd like to learn Salsa. I went in with the attitude that I was going to screw everything up anyway and probably make a fool of myself in the process, so why not just relax and have fun laughing at myself as much as everyone else would.

That attitude helped me a lot, especially considering that my very first introduction to dancing was intermediate Salsa. Fortunately, my having trained in Aikido for a few years during college had endowed me with a strong lead that the girls were complimenting me on from the very start. I'll return to Salsa in another year or two, but right now I'm in Lindy, where one girl once commented to me that I'm always smiling and laughing in class -- hint: in real life I'm normally very reserved and not expressive.

What I'm leading to is an incident in WCS class when I was becoming especially frustrated with my inability to get a particular move right. My attitude slipped and I let my frustration with myself show on my face. I saw this funny look on my partner's face and I realized that she thought I was upset with her!

So, on the dance floor, if you're stressing over how you're doing, you might not be expressing that you are enjoying the dance. So if she thinks that you don't enjoy dancing with her, she won't be able to enjoy it either. Maybe some of them had gone away feeling that you thought they weren't good enough. Relax. You probably already know not to look at them constantly, but after a particular move, especially if it involved turns, I'll make brief eye contact with her and smile. And she usually smiles back. I still consider myself to be little more than a beginner, but a lot of times the girls who know me from class will come up and ask me to dance, even a lot of the good dancers.

Also, we also tend to operate with an unspoken no-two-dances-in-a-row rule, but that doesn't mean that we can't have another dance together later in the evening. So after a few dances have passed, go back to that girl you wanted to dance with again and ask her then. Plus, if a lot of the same people frequent the dance club, then you could get some of those repeat dances on the next night.

[danceguy]

Hi DWise,

Thank you for sharing! I too have a backround in MA...and it has given me a good grasp on frame and lead...both of which I get complimented on regularly (but never my sexy body, rats!). :oops:

I made that post some time ago...now I've found that some women get disappointed if I only dance with them once! At least in my area, most people dance a few times together...but if it goes well I always ask the ladies for another dance later on.

There was one night where I had a fantastic dance with this one girl...and not wanting her to think I was picking up on her, after one dance I ran off to dance with another lady. I then went right back to her and danced with her for 3 songs or so...and had a blast!

Ok, she was really really cute, I'll admit it! And a great dancer. ;)

SG

[Sabor]

I need some advice from the other Salsa folks...what are some of the finer points of Salsa dancing that you can do to ensure that your partner really enjoys her time with you?
Simply do what u can to make her the more comfortable with u.. it is different depending on the lady .. each have their comfort level and dance needs.. but i have found the following to be most generally viable:

Dance to the music and take her with u
let your passion free
be fluid, smooth and accomodating
make her feel the more beautiful .. more feminine.. more needed
be playful .. be fun .. flirt with light gestures in good taste
look good, smell better and feel great..

Its easier said than done by the way.. i myself go off track many a time for different reasons basically most have to do with myself.. but hopefully i get to fix myself little by little as i dance on.. self improvement never stops, thats for sure and that is a lovely aspect to contemplate knowing that u are made concious of your defficiences as u advance, and work to smooth them out.. u watch yourself doing that in time and it gives a warm feeling of appreciation to the healing art of dance :)

[MacMoto]

I made that post some time ago...now I've found that some women get disappointed if I only dance with them once!

Pleased to hear it... you must be getting good!
To me, a guy asking me to dance for the second time (whether immediately after the first or later on) is a sign that he enjoyed dancing with me and is the best compliment I can get.
If someone asks me to dance and I screw that dance up (happens far too oten for my liking :(), I find it difficult to ask him to dance myself, so it's a huge relief when he asks me again, which means he hasn't written me off after the first, unsuccessful attempt.

[salsachinita]

If someone asks me to dance and I screw that dance up .........it's a huge relief when he asks me again, which means he hasn't written me off after the first, unsuccessful attempt.

All you guys out there......please give us followers a second chance...!

*Somewhat off topic: that was how I came to meet CapricornDancer*

[salsachinita]

u are made concious of your defficiences as u advance, and work to smooth them out.. u watch yourself doing that in time and it gives a warm feeling of appreciation to the healing art of dance :)

:notworth: A quote worth quoting for everyone of us! :notworth:

Gracias, Sabor!

[squirrel]

SG, if you want to get a second dance, and a 3rd one, and a 4th... just come to my contry (Romania)... here we are usually offended if a guy who's a good leader only asks for 1 dance...
not joking, you know... let me tell you that because
1. guys are afraid of me - they say i am too good a dancer and thus intimidating
2. there are very few guys dancing salsa round here
3. there are far too many gals dancing salsa - especially beginners and intermediate, and are't they fun to dance with, and not intimidating?!
i dance with very few guys... especially with my partner, some of my students who are better and less intimidated and 1-2 other guys... or i invite those who are too afraid of me to do it themselves (and they never ever ask me to dance - even after having invited them myself - at least they don't refuse :))
so, my advice would be: smile, dance and try to have fun... one or 10 partners are not important as number... just as experience and enjoyment

[Sabor]

interesting Squirrel.. i had the pleasure of meeting and salsa dancing with a few romanian ladys myself a couple of years back and they were alot of fun .. very nice looking and sexy powerful movers.. they were good friends while it lasted .. and i hope they continued advancing their salsa whereever they are now..

glad to hear that salsa is thriving in Romania.. gota luv how the passion spreads :!: :P

[MapleLeaf Salsero]

here we are usually offended if a guy who's a good leader only asks for 1 dance...


Wellcome Squirrel!

LOL! You only get offended if the guy´s a "good" lead? :lol:

Seriously now. Yes, I know that´s true in some countries or places. This month was the Salsa Congress here in Portugal. On the first night, I was looking around for a dance partner and saw this girl by herself who I had never seen before. I asked her for a dance (she danced LA fortunately), and we danced a song together. After the dance we talked for a while and I found out she was Danish and that it was her first time in Portugal. We then danced another. Later in the evening she asked me to give her a lift to the hotel. On the way, she asked me if it was customary here for the guy to ask for a second dance. I explained to her that usually most guys only ask for one dance even if they enjoyed dancing with that person. Sometimes there can be 2 or 3 consecutive dances but it´s not very common (unless you know the girl). What some guys do, is ask the girl later on in the evening if they enjoyed the first dance.

She told me that in Denmark, if you didn´t get a second dance (consecutive dance), it was because the guy didn´t like dancing with you. She explained that the second dance was common because this would give time for each party to ajust to each one another´s style. I told her not to feel disapointed, it wasn´t like that here. So I would say, it really depends how the local salsero scene is... Just because you don´t get a second dance that night doesn´t mean the guy didn´t enjoy dancing with you.

[squirrel]

dear sabor, you said you danced with romanian women... would you mind telling me when and where? maybe we danced together, who knows... :))) have you ever been to romania?

dear mapleleaf salsero... the situation in denmark is similar to the situation in romania... different from your own environment, isn't it? can't explain why, though... maybe because in my country we know each other very well (we are no more than 100 dancers, and the good ones are about 20 - different levels) and most of us are friends... for instance, when i go out to dance, i go with my partner 2-6 good girlfriends of mine (and his) and about 10 of our students (we have a salsa school)... and at the club (there's only ONE club in bucharest that plays salsa music - other clubs also organise "latino nights" but they play latino pop and house... and 1-2 cumbias) we meet many people we know... it's a small salsa world here

[Sabor]

dear sabor, you said you danced with romanian women... would you mind telling me when and where? maybe we danced together, who knows... )) have you ever been to romania?

LOL .. yeah wouldnt that be great! .. no unfortunately never been to Romania .. but i hear + saw from the several romanians i have met that the worlds best looking women reside there! :D .. hmm quite tempting! :oops:

Any way.. i met the ladies i refer to during 2002 in the beaituful scenic Red Sea coastal city of Sharm EL Sheikh in Sinia (Egypt). And let me tell u they made the place even more beautiful with their presence if thats possible :P

[Sagitta]

SG, if you want to get a second dance, and a 3rd one, and a 4th... just come to my contry (Romania)... here we are usually offended if a guy who's a good leader only asks for 1 dance...
not joking, you know... let me tell you that because
1. guys are afraid of me - they say i am too good a dancer and thus intimidating
2. there are very few guys dancing salsa round here
3. there are far too many gals dancing salsa - especially beginners and intermediate, and are't they fun to dance with, and not intimidating?!
i dance with very few guys... especially with my partner, some of my students who are better and less intimidated and 1-2 other guys... or i invite those who are too afraid of me to do it themselves (and they never ever ask me to dance - even after having invited them myself - at least they don't refuse :))
so, my advice would be: smile, dance and try to have fun... one or 10 partners are not important as number... just as experience and enjoyment

One of these days it looks as if a world tour is in the offing for quite a few of us. Perhaps we can organize a df group world tour and get discounted fares?

[salsero-Romania]

why not? i guess it's feasible... see 'information from romania... important' topic

[D-spot]

Avoid one club I know called Latin Fever (North York, just out of Toronto). I turned up there after flying over from the home country and after 1 year of salsa (relates to around 800 hours dancing, groups and clubbing). So I wasn't a bad dancer (also prior Aikido experience, a big help in leading, main problem was in foot sweeping, ah wel, all in the past).
So, here I go, new club, all by my little lonesome, feeling somewhat awkward. Take part in the group lesson (very easy, using it to met people). Well, no luck there. Most people were already in pairs and the instructor didn't move people around so I ends up doing mainly shines. Then the main socialising started. I walk around the tables asking ladies to dance. Got turned down 90% of the time. Managed only a couple of dances all night even though there were too many ladies. I tried again for the next few weeks thinking perhaps they were shy of a stranger. The gave it up as a bad job.
Turns out I was the wrong colour (white, not Latino) and I wasn't with a group. The place hasa bad rep in that department. I never gave race a thought or even that I was asking stragners to dance. Ah well, easy mistake to make, just bring along the boot polish (light tan) and a few friends next time. I actually got thrown out one night as I had left the club to see if my lift had arrived and they wouldn't allow me back in, aggressively so. I had to call the class instructor to demonstrate that I had been in all night. Still no apology or explanations given. I was made to feel very much a second class citizen every time I went.
Seriously though there are many good places to dance in Toronto and surrounding area. Anyone wants to hook up, happy to show you around (time permitting).
D-spot.

[Genesius Redux]

So, here I go, new club, all by my little lonesome, feeling somewhat awkward. Take part in the group lesson (very easy, using it to met people). Well, no luck there. Most people were already in pairs and the instructor didn't move people around so I ends up doing mainly shines. Then the main socialising started. I walk around the tables asking ladies to dance. Got turned down 90% of the time. Managed only a couple of dances all night even though there were too many ladies. I tried again for the next few weeks thinking perhaps they were shy of a stranger. The gave it up as a bad job.
Turns out I was the wrong colour (white, not Latino) and I wasn't with a group. The place hasa bad rep in that department. I never gave race a thought or even that I was asking stragners to dance. Ah well, easy mistake to make, just bring along the boot polish (light tan) and a few friends next time. I actually got thrown out one night as I had left the club to see if my lift had arrived and they wouldn't allow me back in, aggressively so. I had to call the class instructor to demonstrate that I had been in all night. Still no apology or explanations given. I was made to feel very much a second class citizen every time I went.
Seriously though there are many good places to dance in Toronto and surrounding area. Anyone wants to hook up, happy to show you around (time permitting).
D-spot.

That's too bad. When I walk into a Latin venue, I figure I can always count on my Neapolitan heritage. Otherwise, I can quote Cicero. How many other salseros, gringo or non-gringo, can say that, huh?

Well, sounds just like a bad scene. We have a terrific salsa club in Nashville. Everyone dances with everyone else--the owner is originally from Guatemala, and the place is filled with people from Columbia, Mexico, Puerto Rico, African Americans, European Americans, Asian Americans, Indians, Vandy students. It's completely pluralistic, in other words, as I think salsa should be.

Just how friendly the place is--I just went back there for the first time in like eight months. I'd been doing a gig on a cruise ship for four months, and I'd been really busy since getting back to the states. When the owner saw me he came right over, welcomed me back, asked me all about the ship. And there are literally dozens of new people who come in there every night. It's that kind of place.

Can't waste my time with exclusivism and snobbery--there are so many other great places to dance!

[Vin]

If it is an atmosphere where people think you are a good dancer if it isn't working well the first dance(which usually happens for me). I always say the first dance is just a warm-up to the real dancing anyways.

[squirrel]

Avoid one club I know called Latin Fever (North York, just out of Toronto). I turned up there after flying over from the home country and after 1 year of salsa (relates to around 800 hours dancing, groups and clubbing). So I wasn't a bad dancer (also prior Aikido experience, a big help in leading, main problem was in foot sweeping, ah wel, all in the past).
So, here I go, new club, all by my little lonesome, feeling somewhat awkward. Take part in the group lesson (very easy, using it to met people). Well, no luck there. Most people were already in pairs and the instructor didn't move people around so I ends up doing mainly shines. Then the main socialising started. I walk around the tables asking ladies to dance. Got turned down 90% of the time. Managed only a couple of dances all night even though there were too many ladies. I tried again for the next few weeks thinking perhaps they were shy of a stranger. The gave it up as a bad job.
Turns out I was the wrong colour (white, not Latino) and I wasn't with a group. The place hasa bad rep in that department. I never gave race a thought or even that I was asking stragners to dance. Ah well, easy mistake to make, just bring along the boot polish (light tan) and a few friends next time. I actually got thrown out one night as I had left the club to see if my lift had arrived and they wouldn't allow me back in, aggressively so. I had to call the class instructor to demonstrate that I had been in all night. Still no apology or explanations given. I was made to feel very much a second class citizen every time I went.
Seriously though there are many good places to dance in Toronto and surrounding area. Anyone wants to hook up, happy to show you around (time permitting).
D-spot.

gosh, it sounds like a really bad place to choose for dancing... one small question though: did the same 'treatment' apply to all new people, who weren't latino or part of a group? i mean, both male and female? (i'm thinking maytbe they just disliked men... sometimes lations might be a little... intollerant)

[Hart_House]

Most times I fake and injury so they feel bad and ask me to dance again when i'm able to walk. Otherwise I offer them money and free trips to the washroom for that second dance. Are we still talking about the same dance?

[sweavo]

Avoid one club I know called Latin Fever (North York, just out of Toronto). I turned up there after flying over from the home country and after 1 year of salsa (relates to around 800 hours dancing, groups and clubbing). Got turned down 90% of the time.


As a pasty-faced, bad-teethed English guy in a Santa Barbara California salsa club half full of Mexicans who all knew one another, it took me two or three weeks to get a dance ... I made DAMN sure I gave that girl the works right under the noses of the other girls! Things got a little easier after that!

Girls compare notes, and if they've got a set of leaders they're happy with, they're less likely to take a chance on the nervous-looking greengo in the stripey shirt :-)

[africana]

Most times I fake and injury so they feel bad and ask me to dance again when i'm able to walk. Otherwise I offer them money and free trips to the washroom for that second dance. Are we still talking about the same dance?
:lol: :lol:

I truly laughed out loud (btw, that would not work on me LOL)