Being passionate on the dancefloor vs. looking for romance

[vey]

Sorry to raise this point again but I felt compelled to branch out this thread from “Finding love and romance on the dancefloor? ” http://www.dance-forums.com/posting.php?mode=quote&p=27492 topic.

Is it just me or do you also think that a serious confusion and misunderstanding happen when one is trying to transpose the “on the dancefloor” behavior to the off-dancing reality :?: :?: :?:

Personally, I think these are two entirely different worlds
In that regard I loved salsachinita’s post:
1. Dancers involved in a dance = Actors engaged in a scene.

I had a conversation not so long ago about this. I think if you can watch your SO acting in a passionate scene, you can also watch him/her during a sensual dance.

IMO “acting” doesn’t imply that feelings are nonexistent or artificial, they just transgress into a different dimension.

If one will consider passion (or flirting) on a dancefloor as a “real-life” behavior, continuing this line of thoughts can lead to some paradoxal conclusions, such as that a person is allowed to dance flirtatiously or passionately only with one’s significant other (or a potential significant other).

[Sagitta]

Thank you!!! :D I completely agree with this point. This is my dancing philosophy. :)

[salsachinita]

Thankyou for quoting me, Vey :o !

I do think of dancing passionately as acting......which was my one passion before my salsa days.

To be completely truthful, I am still learning to walk the fineline, as I suspect most people in the performing arts field DO find themselves crossing the line at one point or another.

Be honest, how easy is it to extend the passion you felt on screen/dancefloor just that little bit further.......? How easy is it to feel some kind of infatuation towards your co-actor/dance partner....?

Once upon the time (and still to this day in some parts of the world) salsa was part of the courtship ritual. You dance that way with someone because you like them in that way........

Now, this sensual connection between two people could be nothing more than another form of artistic expression, not unlike acting.

That line can, and does, get blurry :? .

What is a girl to do.......?

8) She goes and dances some more 8) !

[Diavo]

If I may...
I've seen this several times, not just with myself:
I take a girl swing dancing once or twice before we're serious about dating and *bam* she's suddenly in love with me. :o

I'm not claiming to be a great dancer [good, decent, fun; but not great :wink: ] but I also think "That line can, and DOES, get blurry". It just so happens it's been in my favor in the past. :D I don't mind. :wink:

The other bit I would like to add is that when I dance [swing], I dance "passionately" because I'm passionate about the dance and the music and having fun and this I would like to spread.

--Diavo 8)

[danceguy]

Interesting...I've been thinking about a reply to this thread all day. I am certainly in the middle of this as I'm just starting to explore the sensual side of Salsa and noticing the new types of women that I'm attracted to. Let others call it what they will...I love my new life! :P

However...I have to be very honest in saying that I do not think of my dancing as acting or being in a play...that just sounds and feels very wrong to me. I'm not trying to put the moves on every woman I dance with...but I am striving to make the dance enjoyable for both of us. I don't care how attractive a women is, if dancing with her is no fun then I'm not going to dance with her. I'm not out in the clubs just to pick up on women...but if someone interesting catches my attention...well then that's just a reminder to live and be alive.

This also ties in with how I don't like to "flirt"...I mean of course I do on some level, but I only express romantic desire when I really mean it. It doesn't take much to get two people to bump and grind on the dance floor...but add some dance skill and grace, then its a thing of beauty. I would never want to fake such a beautiful part of our being that is so sacred to me.

Something we consider sacred is that way because we make it so. For instance, I am totally turned off by super flirtacious women who "put it all on the table"...just not my cup of tea. When I meet someone who is calm and serene on the surface, and I sense the passion within them that is so subtle yet profound...that speak volumes to me. You feel just enough to want to get to know them more...and they don't give themselves away easily. There lies a passionate soul with many wonderful facets to discover...yet centered and well grounded...mmmm....ahhh... :wink:

From my viewpoint, I'm not acting...I'm living. I don't act when I do Tai Chi...I live and dance between heaven and earth. If I'm doing it with someone else (partner work) we are experiencing the chi together...there's no acting going on there.

Same while I dance...I'm there to express myself and find my heart, and to share it with others.

I suppose life could be considered a play, but are you acting or directing? Or merely sitting in the audience?

[salsachinita]

...I love my new life! :P

I just knew you would :wink: .....! Why wouldn't you?

However...I have to be very honest in saying that I do not think of my dancing as acting or being in a play...

I guess I have to make myself a bit more clear here. In my definition acting does not mean faking. The character you play is essentially yourself, personified via the given circumstances. You become your character. You live a different life time, as a different character, with the same soul. Think reincarnation, except in paralelle time frame/space to the current one we are in.

Becoming a different character yet retaining your own essence allows us to take on personas which act/react differently to the role we play in this life. Reality.

This maybe precisely why you love your new life.......you are presented with opportunities to be (and live as) a person that is still you, but not presented unless that part of you (and your soul) is brought upon by salsa.

From my viewpoint, I'm not acting...I'm living. If I'm doing it with someone else (partner work) we are experiencing the chi together...Same while I dance...I'm there to express myself and find my heart, and to share it with others.

Absolutely 8) !

I suppose life could be considered a play, but are you acting or directing? Or merely sitting in the audience?

Is it possible that we do all three at the same time, with different parts of ourselves :? ......?

[vey]

I agree with you, SG, and when I’m dancing I’m also not acting, it’s me out there expressing my innermost feelings and emotions brought about by the music.
I liked the aspect of “Dancers involved in a dance = Actors engaged in a scene” analogy that refers to dancefloor relationships between dancing partners. Like actors involved in some breathtaking scene, we open our soles and express our intimate emotions and create something unique that exists with this very partner and only this very moment. And like actors, outside that moment, we have other aspects of our lives, our friends, our significant others and, ideally, when things are balanced these two sides of our lives do not come into conflict.

I am totally turned off by super flirtacious women who "put it all on the table"...just not my cup of tea.
I think I understand what you mean and I don’t like when dancing is reduced to just flirting..., I’m not a flirtatious dancer myself but if the music/moment/partner compels me to be passionate and /or sexy I will be and it will have nothing to do with my “off the dancefloor” relationships with this particular partner ( it well may be that I see this person for the first and last time in my life).
I’m not sure whether I’m making myself clear... but I’ve honestly tried :) :)

[salsachinita]

Wasn't it Edie SalsaFreak who explained this dynamic in one of her articles...how salsa being a "3 minute love affair".......?

Worth reading again.......

[mhgroove]

Hello everyone..I'm new to this forum! This is an interesting topic because in my short (2 years and counting) salsa dancing life I have going through a huge change in my style on the dancefloor. I used to be very reserved & serious dancing salsa when I first started because I wanted to get the moves down perfectly(I'm an admitted perfectionist). However, I wouldn't get many second dances from the women at the club. Finally, a lady I was dancing with made a blunt, off-hand remark that " I looked too reserved on the dance floor and I needed show more passion out of there. Life is too short." Now for the last 6 or 7 months, I'm loosened up and got more passion into my dancing and I've noticed the women looking at me dancing. When I was dancing so serious and reserved...I was looking for romance with my dancing partner, so I wanted to be perfect instead of enjoying dancing with my partner. But now, I noticed the change of being more passionate and not worrying about romance on the dancefloor has really given me a new perspective and made a better dancer.

[pygmalion]

Hi mhgroove! Welcome. :D

[SDsalsaguy]

Welcome to the forums mhgroove... and thanks for sharing your story, it is a telling one I think! :D

[Sagitta]

Welcome mhgroove!! :D Glad to hear of your breakthrough in salsa. Same thing happened to me in my dancing. More reserved, then just letting go. I'll never go back now. :)

[vey]

welcome mhgroove :cheers:

Great story! I have a similar experience (being a perfectionist myself). Amazingly, my following skills improve when I'm not concentrating on following and executing the moves perfectly but just "let go" and go with the flow of music and leader.