The Salsera & Sex Appeal

[peachexploration]

Question for the Salsera's out there. How do you transfer sex appeal to the dancefloor?

This article excerpt by Edie the Salsa Freak paints a nice picture:

......It starts in the mind. Once we get over all our little "hang ups" about our own sex appeal, our bodies transform themselves, coming out of a cacoon state, into beautiful butterflies. There is nothing more sensual than a woman's beautiful basic, and lovely turn. There's nothing more sexy than a woman glancing at her partner straight in the eye while dancing, and softly touching her thigh and then neck. There's nothing more breathtaking than just before a turn, she caresses her hips for a split second, then shimmies her shoulders and at the end of the turn while thrusting her head and hair around, then beautifully back - ending with a grin, and little snap of her fingers...

So how do "you" get to that place? Does it depend on your leader, the atmosphere? There are many people who are not "born" with this so how do they obtain this "sex appeal" aura while on the dance floor. I've read also in the article that some people "study" movie stars like Marilyn Monroe, etc. to get "in character" so to speak. How do you obtain your character of "sex appeal" while in Salsa mode?

[Sagitta]

I just couldn't resist! Just like salseros do!! Or I do. Let yourself go. Completely! Be completely open to the music, your partner, the connection... :)

[peachexploration]

Right Sagitta. :D When you say: ...Let yourself go. Completely! Be completely open to the music, your partner, the connection... :) I understand you completely. But here are a few things that I hear from alot of followers while in class:

1. "Gosh, salsa is such a sensual dance but I'm not a sensual person, I just don't get it".

2. "Well, I don't know him. I feel kind of funny touching someone I don't know".

3. "I don't dare or have the nerve to move my hips like that, it just doesn't feel natural and I feel foolish".

4. "I have no idea how to flirt".

5. "Oh my, you wan't me do what?!?

For alot of dancers, particularly if you've never been exposed to Salsa, it seems quite awkward to "flirt" with your partner while dancing but eventually you will have to work on this aspect. If you don't, you're going to appear stiff and the passion and sensuality of Salsa will not appear. So Salseras, what was your breakthrough and how did you prepare from then on?

[salsachinita]

For alot of dancers, particularly if you've never been exposed to Salsa, it seems quite awkward to "flirt" with your partner while dancing but eventually you will have to work on this aspect. If you don't, you're going to appear stiff and the passion and sensuality of Salsa will not appear. So Salseras, what was your breakthrough and how did you prepare from then on?

I fell in love with the music. That was what did it for me 8) .

The music sets the mood & "calls/awakens" the sensual side in all of us; but you have to truly feel the music & surrender to it first.

(I guess I was lucky to have discovered salsa as a teenager......still in my formulative/impressionable age.......)

[tsb]

Right Sagitta. :D When you say: ...Let yourself go. Completely! Be completely open to the music, your partner, the connection... :) I understand you completely. But here are a few things that I hear from alot of followers while in class:

1. "Gosh, salsa is such a sensual dance but I'm not a sensual person, I just don't get it".

2. "Well, I don't know him. I feel kind of funny touching someone I don't know".

3. "I don't dare or have the nerve to move my hips like that, it just doesn't feel natural and I feel foolish".

4. "I have no idea how to flirt".

5. "Oh my, you wan't me do what?!?

For alot of dancers, particularly if you've never been exposed to Salsa, it seems quite awkward to "flirt" with your partner while dancing but eventually you will have to work on this aspect. If you don't, you're going to appear stiff and the passion and sensuality of Salsa will not appear. So Salseras, what was your breakthrough and how did you prepare from then on?

aside from the touching of the partner, it's just physical styling (learn these from a female instructor - or a female impersonator - seriously!) that once you learn these stylings, they can become quite natural. i know some women who add these stylings without even thinking about it anymore. i find it a little scary because i think they can lose sight of the message they may or may not be sending to their partners or to others watching.

[peachexploration]

Okay, looks like our Salsera's are avoiding this one like the plague. :D :D :D I'll be more specific. The questions were:

How do you transfer sex appeal to the dancefloor?
How do you obtain your character of "sex appeal" while in Salsa mode?
What was your breakthrough and how did you prepare from then on?

Possible answers for the above mentioned:
Energy from your partner or the people around you, the dance venue, the song, certain salsa moves, clothing, shoes, practicing in the mirror, hairstyle, perfume, a day at the spa, styling class, etc....

Now, I LOVE Salsa music and yes it does make me want to dance and yes, great movement comes from it but......
Two years ago, in my first Salsa class, the last thing I felt was "sex appeal". Why? I had no clue about what I was doing. Guys were stepping all over my toes and I was elbowing them in the eyes. 8) So, there was a point where I got beyond all of that and the unleashing of SA began. :D So what happened? What was my breakthrough? The color RED. I purchased this red blouse and it was something that I would never have worn in everyday life. It wasn't provocative, but classy and sexy. Then I started to build around that red blouse. The shoes, the hair, the attitude....Someone would mention the word Salsa and I would just light up. :D Then icing on the cake, a great LEADER. Okay, Salseras out there, now it's your turn. :wink:

[vey]

Great topic, Peachexploration!!!

I was thinking for awhile about it and realized that I’m also on this journey of exploring sensuality and sex appeal on the dancefloor but I was doing it, sort of, intuitively, without thinking.

One of the main things for me is feeling secure and confident. Because if I feel clumsy and out of place, I can’t imagine that it could look appealing in any way, not to mention sexual. If I’m secure, then I can build on it ...
What I’ve realized (you've really got me thinking, Peachexploration) is that each time, whether it’s a lesson, a social or a club, I’m trying to get in a certain mode, and as soon as (or if) I manage that, I do feel sensual...

As for technical aspect, practicing styling at home helps to learn and develop my own style (and hopefully to express sensuality in my own way). Some styling that I learn at classes “clicks” right away, some feels a bit off but settles down after practicing by myself, some feels goofy and awkward no matter how long I try and I discard it. Plus, whenever I have a free hand, I’m trying to feel what can I create with this music and this partner- sometimes it comes out sensual sometimes not at all :shock: , but hey, it comes from the heart. :lol: :lol:

If it wasn’t for your red blouse, I wouldn’t think of clothes! But you’re right, even for lessons, where I dress in “workout” clothes, I no longer wear anything shapeless (not to worry, nothing distracting either)... :banana: :banana: :banana:

[peachexploration]

One of the main things for me is feeling secure and confident. .....

Right Vey. I think "confidence" is what the red blouse represented for me. :D

[vey]

One of the main things for me is feeling secure and confident. .....

Right Vey. I think "confidence" is what the red blouse represented for me. :D
Here you go :!: :)

[salsachinita]

Ok, girls, now we are talking :D . Clothing & how they make us feel. One of my favourite topics to explore (the fashion desiger talking). Think "Queer Eyes" & "What NOT to wear"............make-over in appearance = altered confidence level/persona.

An older thread I started under 'Funstuff & Inspirations'......I think it's call "What crazy outfits have you ever worn to go dancing?" (sorry, still not sure how to do the clickable version :oops: ) I've talked about how clothing helps us stay "in character", much like actors in costumes.

I started making my own salsa outfits when I first started dancing, while still in college studying fashion design..........since I couldn't find anything back then, and had a student budget :roll: . (These days, with cheaper imports, it actually cost more to make your own things for clubbing :? )

Back to the topics. Yes, dressed in the clothes that feel "right" helps... especially when you are relatively new. These days, I dance salsa in anything (cargo pants, tracksuits, swimsuits etc. depends on where I happen to be 8) )..........sex appeal is like learning to ride a bike.....once you've got it, you've always got it :wink: .

[MapleLeaf Salsero]

How do you transfer sex appeal to the dancefloor?
How do you obtain your character of "sex appeal" while in Salsa mode?


I love it when girls give me that sly, sneaky look on the dance floor while moving their body in a relaxed, sensual and subtle way. 8)

[peachexploration]

How do you transfer sex appeal to the dancefloor?
How do you obtain your character of "sex appeal" while in Salsa mode?


I love it when girls give me that sly, sneaky look on the dance floor while moving their body in a relaxed, sensual and subtle way. 8)
Very good example of getting that energy from your partner that "ignites" sex appeal, Mapleleaf. When a guy makes you feel good on the floor and the connection and "G" rated flirting starts. 8) Eyes start to wink, slight touch on the arms and the flipping of the hair. Very nice. :lol:

[danceguy]

I wanted to thank the ladies for this thread, its very insightful! As a male I do agree that clothes make a huge difference...I recall Boriken talking about always dressing up when you go out. Putting on some nice clothes always gives me more confidence when I look sharp and presentable. I never go out dancing without sporting a fresh clean shave either...it just feels right to me. :P

I must share a story though. I was out dancing last night and saw a girl from my Salsa class dancing away, and she looked so sexy and sensual I hardly recognized her! In my classes I've noticed that she is one of the best followers there, even more so than women more 'advanced' than her. But last night she had this amazing outfit on...a nice top and a short skirt, nothing overly revealing or trashy, but it really showed off her figure and her legs (woo!) and believe me, everyone was admiring her. Generally speaking she is gifted with good looks, but this to me was more...there was such passion behind her dancing...I'd never seen that side of her before.

I watched her dancing with a lot of the advanced leads...and man did she look good. She had the hip shaking going on...and it was amazing to watch her as it was like she just transitioned to a new level...and to think just a while ago she was in a beginners class! :D

Now if I could get enough confidence to ask her to dance... :wink:

[MapleLeaf Salsero]

Now if I could get enough confidence to ask her to dance... :wink:

Sure you can SG. Go for it. :)

[danceguy]

Sure you can SG. Go for it.

Well, I didn't want to post this part ML...but this same gal is now the center of attention in one of the main cliques where I go dancing, and I don't have much interest in becoming involved in that. :?

Of course, some days I get in a clique-breaking mode...depends on the night and the music...but I think more of us need to start doing so.

Right Sagitta? :wink:

[peachexploration]

Okay, Salseras...What about other kinds of dance or even exercises like gymnastics, belly dancing or being a contortionist to help with body movement appeal?

[Sabor]

i'm a ladies' hip fan! .. i think bellydancing would be a fantastic idea for the ladies.. :D very much so.. yes indeed.. certainly, absolutely and most assuredly 8)

[brujo]

I recommend afro-cuban dancing for those who haven't tried it. It works for the dudes too.

It is very percussion based, the movements focus on different parts of the body ( specially the spine ) and it is an absolute eye opener for better body awareness and control.

[peachexploration]

I recommend afro-cuban dancing for those who haven't tried it. It works for the dudes too.

It is very percussion based, the movements focus on different parts of the body ( specially the spine ) and it is an absolute eye opener for better body awareness and control.

That's a great suggestion Brujo. I have different kinds of exercise tapes that are percussion/african rhythm based and you're absolutely right, it works wonders.

This is hilarious! :lol: Mostly guys are responding to this one. I love it and appreciate it! Good suggestions here. Thanks guys!

[peachexploration]

i'm a ladies' hip fan! .. i think bellydancing would be a fantastic idea for the ladies.. :D very much so.. yes indeed.. certainly, absolutely and most assuredly 8)
:lol: :lol:

Sabor, I love your avatar. Is it artwork we can purchase from somewhere? If so, PM me please. That would look lovely in my dinning room. :D

[MacMoto]

This is hilarious! :lol: Mostly guys are responding to this one.
Could it be because sex appeal is in the eye of the beholder? Something others see in you rather than something you know you've got it or you don't? I've no idea if I have sex appeal on the dancefloor. Still...

People keep commenting on my hip movements and my eye contact, so I assume these are where my sex appeal comes from (if I have it, that is). What did I do to achieve that? Well, the hip motion happened naturally; I don't remember ever having to think about it. I don't even know if mine's "correct". Eye contact, on the other hand, was something I consciously worked on. I was at a group class full of beginners one evening where I was paired up with an older lady (who usually practised with her daughter so was used to leading in classes). The teacher was showing us how to do a basic single turn and said you should "spot" even for a single turn, holding eye contact until the last moment. When I tried it the lady I was dancing with said, "ooh, now I know why people say salsa is a sensual dance". I thought, "yes, I know what you mean". It made such a huge difference in the way that simple move felt. That was when I discovered the sex appeal of salsa dancing.

As for sexy styling, I'm working on it but nobody has said anything about it, which must mean I haven't got it yet. :lol:

[peachexploration]

This is hilarious! :lol: Mostly guys are responding to this one.
Could it be because sex appeal is in the eye of the beholder? Something others see in you rather than something you know you've got it or you don't? I've no idea if I have sex appeal on the dancefloor.
This is very true and helpful to have that second eye. And what a compliment is it is when the guy gives that special nod that says, "Wow, I like that". :D Also, I practice in the mirror alot. At first, I felt wierd. I don't know why, something very wierd about watching yourself move that way but I got used to it. :D

[brujo]

Problem with ladies styling is that all ladies style the same way. It then becomes neither sexy nor appealing. If everyone is doing her hands the Josie Neglia way, then it just becomes part of the move, and doesn't add much to the dancing experience for the experienced salseros.

The sexiest aspect of dancing with someone, in my opinion, is not in the overt 'look at me because I am sexy' hand motions, but in the more subtle innocent flirting that some girls add to their dancing. There is a lady that I danced with that would do a slight caress of my shoulder with her fingertips as we would go from open to close position, and I almost melted on the dance floor.

A woman is sexy regardless of what she does on the dance floor. I think the most amazing ones are the ones that just let go and let the music move them intensely and passionately. It is that passion and that love of life that is shown on the floor that really makes them shine. It's pretty sick that in this culture a woman is considered sexy only if she is slim and dresses like a two dollar hooker ( cough, britney, cough ).

[peachexploration]

Problem with ladies styling is that all ladies style the same way. It then becomes neither sexy nor appealing. If everyone is doing her hands the Josie Neglia way, then it just becomes part of the move, and doesn't add much to the dancing experience for the experienced salseros.

The sexiest aspect of dancing with someone, in my opinion, is not in the overt 'look at me because I am sexy' hand motions, but in the more subtle innocent flirting that some girls add to their dancing. There is a lady that I danced with that would do a slight caress of my shoulder with her fingertips as we would go from open to close position, and I almost melted on the dance floor.

A woman is sexy regardless of what she does on the dance floor. I think the most amazing ones are the ones that just let go and let the music move them intensely and passionately. It is that passion and that love of life that is shown on the floor that really makes them shine. It's pretty sick that in this culture a woman is considered sexy only if she is slim and dresses like a two dollar hooker ( cough, britney, cough ).
So, what's your take on men's styling?

[brujo]

So, what's your take on men's styling?

La misma cosa. Same thing. If you do the same moves as everyone else, it just becomes part of the move, and not something unique, different, and your own style.

When I practice at home, I like to try different variations in the footwork, sneaking in a tango sweep here and there, or doing stuff that is not quite expected of salsa styling ( like the batman fingers in front of your eyes, or Abakua and Yoruba hand flicks from Afro-Cuban dancing). I like to dance with my entire body, and I think the shoulders are an amazing source of styling for the man, using them to hit accents in the music without having to detract from the lead. I am sure other people have their own styles, and that's cool.

[peachexploration]

Okay, that's fine. But did you already know how to do this on your first day of Salsa class? My point is to this whole thread, "How do you get to that place?" When did you realized your ''appeal" or even have the confidence to express it?
Think back to your very first Salsa class or the very first time you heard a salsa song:
Did you automatically have sex appeal in your dancing?
Did you automatically know how to "feel" the music?
Did you automatically know how to communicate sensually with your partner the first time you stepped on the dance floor?

Most of us didn't.......or at least I didn't..... :|

[Pacion]

Okay, that's fine. But did you already know who to do this on your first day of Salsa class?

Kind of. My first salsa teacher was a "macho" cuban guy so he wasn't about to start showing any hip wiggles :lol: I was shown some stuff in my previous dancesport classes eg. turns in rumba - sweep the free hand to the hip and keep the momentum going as you turn, to draw the guy's eyes to the hips :wink:

I think I automatically knew how to "feel" the music on the basis of where I grew up and having music around me all the time :oops: I also had a ballet teacher that would make us improvise from time to time - close our eyes, listen to the music and just move (of course we were well spaced around the room so that we did not collide with each other :lol: ). Even now, if I am having difficulty "feeling" certain salsa songs, I will close my eyes and just let the music wash over me. If I still don't get it, if I am not on the dancefloor, I just toe tap :lol: and if I am dancing then, oh um :oops:

Did you automatically know how to communicate sensually with your partner the first time you stepped on the dance floor?

It depends on how you define "sensual" or "sex appeal". Some guys say that they find smiling and the use of the eyes very appealing. I am a natural smiler and it makes sense to look at your dance partner. A friend once said that a baby smiles/laughs about 150 times a day, an adult about 70 and he reckoned that I was closer to the baby's number than the adult's :oops: :lol:

What I do find though is that with some guys I suddenly become "shy" :oops: the smile goes, the eyes drop and I can probably tell you where the smallest crack in the floor is versus what colour eyes the guy had :( but, as soon as I become aware (which might not be until 2-3 mins have already gone by), I try to shake it off and then I am :banana:'s cousin all over again :lol:

Another thing that I find very interesting is some people are real flirts off the dancefloor, put them on the dancefloor, put on some music and they lose it. Quite a curious/interesting thing really.