what would you do?

[ballroomdancertoo]

I have a friend, she just accepted to be a partner with a male dancer who taught at one of the chain dance studio. They were taking lessons from a professional coach who competed in Blackpool. The male partner insist that a certain step in latin be done his way because that is what he was taught. As I watch him, he is definitely doing it wrong because the movement is definately done incorrectly according to the international style of that movement. My question is should I tell my friend that she might have trouble later if he continues to insist that his way is right or should I just let them work it out and hope the male dancer learns the correct way.

[waltzgirl]

How did their coach do at Blackpool (anyone can *compete* there)? If they have a qualified coach, I'd let that person worry about it.

If the guy is insisting on doing the step some way other than their current coach is teaching, then your friend has a bigger problem than just that step. How this issue gets resolved may determine the future of their partnership. Probably the best solution for them would be to take the disagreement over how to do the step to a coach they both trust, and agree to follow that person's advice.

[meow]

I agree with WG and would add that they need to come to a consensus regarding their partnership. One is to seek professional advices when disagreeing on steps etc., but also that they are equal in this partnership and that he is not the teacher, even if he has had teaching experience. Perhaps their coach could help them with that point as well.

[Angel HI]

WG has a valid point when she writes "...then your friend has a bigger problem than just that step. "

My question is should I tell my friend that she might have trouble later if he continues to insist that his way is right or should I just let them work it out and hope the male dancer learns the correct way.

A few thoughts:
1. It might be wrong to everyone but the one who is convinced that it is not. It is, at that point, the / a coach's problem.
2. The relationship between your friend and her new partner needs some defining/redefining. It is, at this point, your friend's problem.
3. Understanding and respecting the concern for your friend, consider this....
a good friend is one who offers opinion, advice and assistance when they believe it is needed...
a best friend is one who keeps opinion and advice to themselves; often suffering at the seemingly overwhelming problems of their loved ones, and being there for them when they ask.

[Joe]

You are all basing your comments on the assumption that the OP is correct...

[fascination]

in my view, until she sees an issue as a problem with her own eyes, why put it into her head?...what makes other people's relationships work is none of my business and just b/c I have a concern doesn't mean that it is my place to voice it....and I wouldn't unless asked in this case....

[chasphoto]

Sorry but I am curious what is the step and what is being done wrong. I think I would like to have that info before making a judgement. Is it just a heel placement instead of a toe or is it a major problems. Teachers can make mistake they don't have photographic memories. That's why I keep a ISTD book in my bag.

[Josh]

a best friend is one who keeps opinion and advice to themselves; often suffering at the seemingly overwhelming problems of their loved ones, and being there for them when they ask.

I understand what you're saying Angel--but sometimes the best course is to speak up, if the situation could become disastrous. However, I agree that erring on the side of keeping opinions to ourselves is wise for most cases.

[fascination]

true josh... and if the issue had been one where he was being clearly abusive the advice would be different...but if he is just opinionated, well...bless her heart if she's going to be able to find a partner who isn't...and it certainly seems premature for such a mild concern to be voiced IMO...but certainly friends care enough to voice concern when it is truly warranted...and we all have to make those calles about when the circumstance merits it