Does dancing make you outrageously flirty?

[MadamSamba]

I just got back from a fabulous night of salsa and, looking back, realised I was flirting outrageously with someone all night. He started it and I followed, but made it quite clear that we were just mucking around and that it stopped once we stepped off the dancefloor.

Is it just me or has everyone upped their "outrageous flirt" quotient since learning to dance?

Flirty Girty.

[MacMoto]

Yes, definitely.

[pygmalion]

I don't know. I always have been a flirt. :oops: :lol:

Seriously, though, I think dancing does free you to let the flirty side show more.

[Vince A]

ABSOLUTELY!

[TemptressToo]

Oh yes...I love the attention. I just have to be careful...for some unknown reason, some women hate me (dirty looks, starting rumors, etc.). I'm always conscious of that especially when dancing with someone's boyfriend or husband. I try my best to give them the attention required to dance...but not so much the significant other in the guy's life starts giving me dirty looks. Does that make sense?

If the guys single...although I'm not...he's fair game. Let the flirting begin. :wink:

[KevinL]

Yes, I'm much more flirty than I ever was before dancing. (Partially that is due to much greater self confidence.)

Kevin

[pygmalion]

If the guys single...although I'm not...he's fair game. Let the flirting begin. :wink:

No wonder your used name is Temptress! :wink: :lol:

I'm with you, though. Flirting is at least half the fun. :D

[NeoDevin]

I was a flirt long before I started dancing...

[Vince A]

. . . some women hate me (dirty looks, starting rumors, etc.). I'm always conscious of that especially when dancing with someone's boyfriend or husband. I try my best to give them the attention required to dance...but not so much the significant other in the guy's life starts giving me dirty looks. Does that make sense?

If the guys single...although I'm not...he's fair game. Let the flirting begin. :wink:
I love those "dirty looks" from the husbands or boyfriends . . . it let's me know that I did "that move" correctly . . . HONEST! :roll:

[danceguy]

Hmm, I'm probably not going to make much sense getting my point across here, but I'll give it a try anyway.

I think "flirting" is a broad concept that can be interpreted many different ways. You can flirt with your eyes, your words, your body language, and your physical touch...either with only one of these, or all of them.

I've never been a flirt in the standard sense...just isn't my style. Has dancing changed this...well I'm more expressive in my dancing, definitely more outgoing to others both on and off the dance floor.

But I really don't flirt as most have described here...I may pay a woman a compliment or dance a bit differently with someone I think is attractive, but I haven't changed much in that regard. I only do Salsa these days and while I'm getting into the passionate side...I'm not into flirting with words...

So, I'm going to be the grumpy troll and say "bah humbug" to this flirting business. I don't like women who are excessive flirts...I avoid them in most cases...and its just not in my nature to be a flirt. I have a different approach that I probably can't explain very well and shouldn't bother trying to do so.

Boriken - I'd love to hear your thoughts on this... :wink:

SG

[KevinL]

I remember reading (Dating for Dummies, maybe?) that the purpose of flirting is to make the other person feel good. I always try to make other people feel good, so I guess I flirt all the time. I'm just better at it now...

Kevin

[vey]

Great topic!

I distinguish two sides of this issue:

1. Off the dancefloor: I became may a little bit flirtier (is there such a word?), but mostly, I became much much friendlier and outgoing.

2. On the dance floor: when I feel relaxed and connected, I'm beyond flirty, think "passion". I do not have any reservations (as long as it's not intentional unappropriate touch or groping :shock:). I'm not bothered by husbands/wives issue, it feels kind of silly to think "oh my gosh, I shouldn't do this move, I have a boyfriend (or he has a wife)", for the duration of the song I belong to the person I'm dancing with...

[Neil]

[...] I just have to be careful...for some unknown reason, some women hate me (dirty looks, starting rumors, etc.). [...]

I can't speak for the women where you dance, but I know the women in my circle. The jealousy and dirty looks have nothing to do with what you do on the dance floor. The wives here don't like it when a women comes around without a man, asks the guys to dance, but ignores the wives. When a girl is friendly enough with the wives, she can dance as flirtatiously as she likes with the husbands. I call it paying respect to the Godfather before you do bussiness on his turf (well, I don't say that in front of the wives).

This went on for years without the husbands knowing about it. The women all knew about it and thought it was too obvious to mention. To us guys, it seemed like the whole jealousy thing was random.

[TemptressToo]

The thing is...I've never asked a guy to dance. It is the other way around...AND single ladies coming just to have fun is common here. Now not all of these ladies are tall, blue-eyed blondes... :lol:

[peachexploration]

..... I just have to be careful...for some unknown reason, some women hate me (dirty looks, starting rumors, etc.). I'm always conscious of that especially when dancing with someone's boyfriend or husband.....

TemptressToo, I think that is just the nature of alot of women (not all). They tend to be quite competitve. Alot of the time, with social dances, all you have to do is walk in the room and the dirty looks, rumor starting and snickering begins unfortunately. :roll: :?

[dancergal]

At social dances plenty of women ask my boyfriend to dance. I don't get jealous, but I really appreciate the women who ask my permission to dance with him. It's not necessary, but it's nice all the same. The women that I mostly would give dirty looks to is someone who keeps asking him to dance every chance she gets and hangs around waiting for the chance to grab him when he comes off the dance floor, to the point where he is trying everything to avoid her. That woman will get dirty looks from me! For myself, I'm a bit of a flirt too, but usually to guys I know. I will not flirt if the man is not the flirty type. I usually smile a lot when I dance and to some men that is flirting. oh well :roll:

[Pacion]

I have been told that I am "a different person" once the music starts :lol:

I am definitely more flirtious on the dancefloor - the caresses, lingering touches/looks, flick my hair more :lol: - and who I am dancing with can make it a 10 or a -10 :cry: I have been to new venues and people asking me if I was the girl-friend/fiancee of such and such guy because of the way we were dancing :oops: and I was like nooooooo!!!!! :shock: What you saw on the dancefloor is only for the dancefloor :oops:

The wives here don't like it when a women comes around without a man, asks the guys to dance, but ignores the wives. When a girl is friendly enough with the wives, she can dance as flirtatiously as she likes with the husbands. I call it paying respect to the Godfather before you do bussiness on his turf (well, I don't say that in front of the wives).


My Dad is "old school" and he "trained me" into that - asking the wife/girlfriend/female he is standing next to (if you don't know who she is). It is not so much "asking" but respecting/acknowledging the other person. A couple of women I have shown this "respect" to with regards to their partners have a thing whereby they will now playfully push their boyfriends in my direction when I have asked the question and say "take him! He is driving me nuts at the moment!" I then respond back something like ... oh no! I only want to borrow him :lol:

On the other side of the coin though, a friend says that she hates it when the guys ask her to dance but direct the question/look at her partner. She says: why are they asking him when it is me that they want to dance with. So I guess, you can't please everyone. :oops: But, at least all the women have been friendly/friendlier (!) when I have acknowledge their relationship :D

[pygmalion]

Yes, Pacion. It's a fine line to walk, isn't it? You really can't plase everyone. So you know what the song says. Gotta please yourself. ... within reason, of course. :wink: 8)

[Pacion]

Yep! It is a case of "d*mned if you do, d*mned if you don't" :oops:

Another thing I do is that if Guy A is standing next to Guy B, I also look at Guy B to acknowledge his presence because maybe they are friends and were chatting? Or Guy B was about to buy Guy A a drink?

Argh! All this etiquette! I think in my next life I am going to come back as a cat!!! :kitty: :lol:

[youngsta]

HUGE flirt! Definitely more when dancing because it's what something I'm good at.

[peachexploration]

Argh! All this etiquette! I think in my next life I am going to come back as a cat!!! :kitty: :lol:

:lol: :lol: Funny!

[Pacion]

Argh! All this etiquette! I think in my next life I am going to come back as a cat!!! :kitty: :lol:

:lol: :lol: Funny!

Thanks :wink: Another benefit is - if I rub against a guy's leg or sit on his lap, no females will get upset. In fact, they will think "ah, how sweet" :lol: :lol:

[salsachinita]

Argh! All this etiquette! I think in my next life I am going to come back as a cat!!! :kitty: :lol:

:lol: :lol: Funny!

Thanks :wink: Another benefit is - if I rub against a guy's leg or sit on his lap, no females will get upset. In fact, they will think "ah, how sweet" :lol: :lol:

:uplaugh: :uplaugh: :uplaugh: Cute!

[salsachinita]

The wives here don't like it when a women comes around without a man, asks the guys to dance, but ignores the wives. When a girl is friendly enough with the wives, she can dance as flirtatiously as she likes with the husbands. I call it paying respect to the Godfather before you do bussiness on his turf (well, I don't say that in front of the wives).


My Dad is "old school" and he "trained me" into that - asking the wife/girlfriend/female he is standing next to (if you don't know who she is). It is not so much "asking" but respecting/acknowledging the other person. A couple of women I have shown this "respect" to with regards to their partners have a thing whereby they will now playfully push their boyfriends in my direction when I have asked the question and say "take him! He is driving me nuts at the moment!" I then respond back something like ... oh no! I only want to borrow him :lol:

Me too, I've been trained in the 'old school' ways too. Always ask the girls.

My salsa mentor/ex was one of the most "asked" guys on the dancefloor. I would have been lucky to get one or two songs with him......so I've had to sit down for most of the nights :( . This was when other females being respectful of my existance really helped......as I was already in :( mode, I really didn't feel like being ignored (Sadly 50% of females who asked seemed to do exactly that) as well.

On the other side of the coin though, a friend says that she hates it when the guys ask her to dance but direct the question/look at her partner. She says: why are they asking him when it is me that they want to dance with..

I heard this one too. One guy I dated for a short time (also an instructor) could not possibly understand the logic behind this "acknowledging female" business. He said: ".....I am not a thing you can borrow...!"
:roll: Some guys just don't get it :roll: !

[vey]

I agree that dirty looks are generally immature. Although, it depends on a situation: I can imagine that a girl who is constantly flirting with boyfriends/husbands on and off the dancefloor and completely ignores their significant others can be irritating. To prevent this, I use ANY opportunity to introduce myself to my partner's significant other and aknowledge them. I'm even trying to do the same when I know that a woman is just their practice partner or a friend - I want dancefloor to be a friendly environment!!!!

And slightly off-topic, I think that we girls should be more supportive towards each other and less competitive (inspite of the fact that great leaders are in minority :( ), we shouldn't feel threatened by each other, life is too short.

When I see a beautiful woman, I'm channeling my feelings towards admiring her and paying her a compliment, if possible, rather than comparing her to myself and spiraling towards insecurity. I also do the same when I see a great follower. I do not believe in competition but in admiration and support.

[salsachinita]

:!: I think that we girls should be more supportive towards each other and less competitive (inspite of the fact that great leaders are in minority :( ), we shouldn't feel threatened by each other, life is too short.

When I see a beautiful woman, I'm channeling my feelings towards admiring her and paying her a compliment, if possible, rather than comparing her to myself and spiraling towards insecurity. I also do the same when I see a great follower. I do not believe in competition but in admiration and support. :!:

:bouncy: YEEEEEESSSSSS :bouncy: !

[SDsalsaguy]

:bouncy: YEEEEEESSSSSS :bouncy: !
Ok, but how do you really feel salsachinita? :lol:

[salsachinita]

:bouncy: YEEEEEESSSSSS :bouncy: !
Ok, but how do you really feel salsachinita? :lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol: Somehow I knew it would be you to ask me this, SD :wink: !

Ok, IMO there are two separate levels involved here.

On a personal level, as a female follower, we wish that ourselves would be the primary choice of the highly sought-after ('alpha') salseros, because it become a direct reflection of our dancing abilties (amongst other elements), hence reinforcing/gaining 'alpha' female status. Nature of the animal world.

However, I've taken on step back & looked at the big picture. The kind of rationale stated by Vey is by far more beneficial to the salsa community as a whole.

So I guess it would be survival of the individual vs. survival of the group/species :? .......?

[vey]

On a personal level, as a female follower, we wish that ourselves would be the primary choice of the highly sought-after ('alpha') salseros, because it become a direct reflection of our dancing abilties (amongst other elements), hence reinforcing/gaining 'alpha' female status. Nature of the animal world.


Ha-Ha, salsachinita, that's a cool term "alpha-salseros" :lol: :lol: :lol:

[pygmalion]

You must know who she's talking about. There's at least one at every party, social, or club. I don't know, though. Maybe I'm a softy, but I've never been into the alpha male type. I go for the underdogs (pardon the expression) every time. 8)

[Sagitta]

You must know who she's talking about. There's at least one at every party, social, or club. I don't know, though. Maybe I'm a softy, but I've never been into the alpha male type. I go for the underdogs (pardon the expression) every time. 8)

So plenty of dances from Pygmalion with me. Cool!! :)