Who gets asked to dance

[suburbaknght]

I was at a ballroom event on Saturday, hosted by a University team but with more than two thirds of those in attendance from outside the school, and I noticed that despite the many, many women available to dance, across all levels of age, attractiveness, and skill level, the ones who were repeatedly being asked to dance were the women in red dresses. They were followed by the women in other colors. Women who wore black were dead last. I've paid attention to the patterns of being asked to dance before, and have even written about it (http://www.dance-forums.com/showthread.php?t=19288), but this is the first time I was aware of it being so closely tied to couture. Has anyone else seen this pattern? Women, all other factors being equal, do you find you are more likely to be asked to dance if you wear a certain color?

[wooh]

Never noticed color, but wearing a skirt seems to make a difference.

[waltzgirl]

I've never noticed any correlation between clothing color and being asked to dance. But if it exists, I suspect it has more to do with the personality, confidence level, etc. of the women who choose to wear bright colors. And of course, black is often the preferred color of women who feel they could be slimmer.

I agree that wearing a skirt does make a difference.

[tsb]

i suspect other pertinent factors come into play, but the only question i'll ask is:

who did *you* ask to dance?

[MissBallroomBear]

I suppose black is a very intimidating colour. Black isn't only worn by women of larger sizes. I dress in black most of the time and while I'm not drop dead thin, I'm definitely not overweight.
I've never noticed red being the colour that attracts guys the most. It might be worth a little experimentation..

[fascination]

it is possible...in dim lighting black doesn't stand out...which is why many of us also don't compete in it...and men are known to be visual creatures...my husband doesn't care for black at all, b/c it is all he sees women in all day long working downtown...I of course love to wear black, but I rarely wear it around him...I think it makes some sense but probably not on a conscious level...i.e guy scans room looking for woman with whom to dance and brighter color catches his eye, but I doubt he would recognize that as party of the process ...more likely color catches his I and he thinks, "oh there is X person (minus any prominent negative)...I will ask her"

[Peaches]

(minus any prominent negativeIs that, then, a positive?

[fascination]

depends upon the size of the guy's dance goggles I spose

[Wyndstorm Huntress]

Not scientific by any means, but I was one of two newbies at my studio's weekly dance. Everyone else there were regulars who would consistently dance with each other. I wore a dressy bright red top and black slacks, and the other newbie wore a leopard print top and cream-colored pants.

The other dancer was picked to dance practically every song, including men interrupting conversations I was having with her to ask her to dance with them. She was asked to dance a number of times by the same men (this dance was the day after Thanksgiving, so attendance was small and it was easier for me to observe these things). Though I was asked to dance once by some of the guys there, I think only one asked me for a second dance. I sat out many of the songs until one of the newbie leads decided that I would be his partner for the rest of the night and continued to ask me to dance for every song we both knew how to dance to.

Red may get me in the door, but I'm certain many other factors determine whether or not I get asked a second time. For example, although she was new to every other dance, she took a year of tango lessons. I'd imagine that made it easier for her to follow a guy's lead even with a dance she wasn't as familiar with. At the time I'd only taken lessons for two months. I would imagine experience (or lack thereof), played a role in that.

That said, I'm pretty sure I'll be attending my studio's winter gala this Friday and I'll be sure to wear a red dress. I'll let you know how it goes.

[Purr]

Women, all other factors being equal, do you find you are more likely to be asked to dance if you wear a certain color?

I think so. Wearing something a bright and cheerful color helps. Wearing a dress or wearing a nice top with matching skirt helps, too. Putting a little effort into looking nice, i.e. hairstyle, makeup, jewelry, also helps. Above all, looking approachable and having a smile on your face helps.

[fascination]

Not scientific by any means, but I was one of two newbies at my studio's weekly dance. Everyone else there were regulars who would consistently dance with each other. I wore a dressy bright red top and black slacks, and the other newbie wore a leopard print top and cream-colored pants.

The other dancer was picked to dance practically every song, including men interrupting conversations I was having with her to ask her to dance with them. She was asked to dance a number of times by the same men (this dance was the day after Thanksgiving, so attendance was small and it was easier for me to observe these things). Though I was asked to dance once by some of the guys there, I think only one asked me for a second dance. I sat out many of the songs until one of the newbie leads decided that I would be his partner for the rest of the night and continued to ask me to dance for every song we both knew how to dance to.

Red may get me in the door, but I'm certain many other factors determine whether or not I get asked a second time. For example, although she was new to every other dance, she took a year of tango lessons. I'd imagine that made it easier for her to follow a guy's lead even with a dance she wasn't as familiar with. At the time I'd only taken lessons for two months. I would imagine experience (or lack thereof), played a role in that.

That said, I'm pretty sure I'll be attending my studio's winter gala this Friday and I'll be sure to wear a red dress. I'll let you know how it goes.leopard print is a color that IMO, trumps most colors....uh...yea...nuff said

[Wyndstorm Huntress]

leopard print is a color that IMO, trumps most colors....uh...yea...nuff said

What if I wore red leopard print? :shock:

[Sagitta]

What if I wore red leopard print? :shock:Oh man!


If it is a dress /skirt that swirls when I give the lady a turn...? Definitely. I just like seeing that...always have...

[Ron Obvious]

I don't think the colour of the dress is important at all, not consciously at least. Posture is much more important, and the friendliness in the look. Do you women think you're more likely to accept dances from a man in black trousers or in bright-blue denim jeans?

And technically, black is not a colour, it's the absence of colours.

[suburbaknght]

i suspect other pertinent factors come into play, but the only question i'll ask is:

who did *you* ask to dance?

Given that I was there from 5:30 to midnight I danced with pretty much everyone, young and old, petite and heavy set, experienced and first time, dressed in black and colors. That said, I found that I danced more with women dressed in color, and particularly red, although there were more women dressed in black; while escorting someone on or off the floor or sitting out a dance I don't care for (salsa and samba for the record) or one I'm not socially comfortable with yet (quickstep and Viennese for the record) I watched the floor and my eyes are naturally drawn towards color. That would lead to a mental note to "ask that cute girl in the red dress to dance," or "that woman in blue sure can turn! I bet she'd be fun to swing with. I should ask her next time a swing comes on."

[danceronice]

I've found that when I wear my skirts that really seriously flare out, I get asked to dance more often and with more repeats, including some of the male pros. Of course I also get spun 'til I'm dizzy, so this may be a double-edged sword.

For our winter semi-formal, I wore a dress in a color I basically never wear (a pink, with blue undertones as that's the only variant on pink I can wear) instead of my normal black/darks and I was still getting compliments a week later. I think especially in dim lights, bright colors are definitely the way to go...

[Peaches]

Yup...skirts that flare out = getting spun LOTS...IME. Vaguely annoying, since I don't spin or spot well. Good thing I rarely wear twirly skirts.

Haven't noticed a color difference. Dress v/ pants difference, possibly. Sexy v/ conservative, definitely. Still usually wear jeans, or at least pants, though.

Biggest difference seems to be how many people I know at a given venue.

[Ron Obvious]

Last time out I wore a tail-coat, it was a special independence-day party and we were told we could dress up. I certainly received many compliments and confused looks from many women, but no-one actually asked me to dance. Maybe because it's black, the tail-coat. Next time I'll try to wear a red one and see if it makes a difference.

[bordertangoman]

Vell, I take ze scientific approach; I verk anticlockvise around ze room; ladies zat dance nicely that I see vatching, get more points as do ladies I know. also I use a random generator; like some days I will dance only mit ladies mit blue eyes; or who have dark hair, zey also get more points if zey are Russian or Polish.

[etp777]

What if I wore red leopard print? :shock:


One pro I know juts had mom make her a pink leopard print costume. Didn't get to see it stoned before I left, but even without stones hanging on a hangar it popped. Course, not sure if it popped in a good way, would have to see it on her. :) Was "interesting" though.

[fascination]

I hate wearing twirly skirts when I dance...b/c, unless there are spanx goin on underneath, I am always thinking that my uh...underbits... are gonna show

[Ron Obvious]

Thinking of fascination's signature: it may also be that I forgot the number...

making a mental checklist:
—man
—tailsuit
—number.

[Peaches]

I hate wearing twirly skirts when I dance...b/c, unless there are spanx goin on underneath, I am always thinking that my uh...underbits... are gonna show
:shock: I never wear a twirly skirt w/o spanx or similar! Eeek. Actually, it's probably the doubling up that I find so uncomfortable and hate about wearing skirts. Although I usually don't go with spankx, but opt for bike shorts instead.

[waltzgirl]

I just use black cotton "granny-style" full coverage panties. Covers everything relevant without being uncomfortable.

[etp777]

Heh, one pro(not my main pro) in particular at studio is bad about that. I don't know if I was always her first lesson of the day, or if she never did any spins with students before me, but half of our lessons I'd do first turn of whatever dance we're doing, her left hand would fly down to her skirt, and then she'd say she'd be right back as she ran back to women's changing room. I of course would always stand there laughing at her while I waited for her to get back. I'm the sensitive type. ;)

[Peaches]

Have thought about that...can't get past it, mentally. No desire to go out and flash my underbits, regardless of how big or small they are, and if they're meant to be seen or not. Underbits should be...well...under.

...And this is why I usually end up in pants.

[Me]

This is an interesting conversation! I never thought about a brighter color catching the eye at dance socials.

I know of one person who complains constantly about not being asked to dance. Maybe I can pass this suggestion onto her, because I think all she ever wears to these things is black. She does a great many other things 'wrong' (goes to dances where she has few friends, sits next to the wall with a plate of food in front of her and her husband blocking her from the dance floor) and she didn't take my advice on that (lol!) but, hey, who knows.

[Me]

Thinking of fascination's signature: it may also be that I forgot the number...

making a mental checklist:
—man
—tailsuit
—number.


Ha ha! Ron I like your avatar. I especially loved him as 'Dennis.' :notworth:

[cornutt]

I hate wearing twirly skirts when I dance...b/c, unless there are spanx goin on underneath, I am always thinking that my uh...underbits... are gonna show

Of course, if I'm dancing with you, everyone in the room can see it except me! :rolleyes: Seriously, I think the flare skirts are mostly a thing with the ECS/lindy dancers. Thinking about it, the dances that I do, I don't think I really spin my follower all that much -- lots of turns, but not so many spins. Although I sometimes wonder how a woman who's self-conscious about it can manage a develope... Seriously, at our club, most women seem to wear dresses, but the ones who wear pants don't appear to be lacking for dances.

I do think there is something to the theory about women in black being less visible at a dance. When you think about it, at a dance, most of the guys are going to be wearing dark colors. On the floor, a woman wearing black doesn't stand out from her partner as much as a woman wearing a bright color. Fasc has mentioned this about not wearing black in a comp -- if it turned out that women who do compete in black (especially in smooth/standard, where her partner will almost certainly be dressed in a dark color) get lower placements, I wouldn't be surprised.

[Peaches]

Of course, if I'm dancing with you, everyone in the room can see it except me! :rolleyes:According to a couple of guys I knew, that was the fun of studio mirrors.

[Angelo]

if it turned out that women who do compete in black (especially in smooth/standard, where her partner will almost certainly be dressed in a dark color) get lower placements, I wouldn't be surprised.


I would be

[etp777]

Man, and I've been wasting my time using the mirrors to see what I was doing wrong in practice. ;)

[elisedance]

I've noticed a marked difference in the number of dance requests comparing a short (if not twirly) skirt compared with a long one. There again legs are probably the best (only? :rolleyes:) good part of me!

I love a twirly skirt - if its full length and then there is little chance of over, or should I say under-exposure ;)

[elisedance]

if it turned out that women who do compete in black (especially in smooth/standard, where her partner will almost certainly be dressed in a dark color) get lower placements, I wouldn't be surprised.

So that explains it! Its not my dancing - its my skirt!
Makes me wonder what I pay coaches for. Sheesh. :p:rolleyes:

[etp777]

You could always just get your DP a bright pink tailsuit so you two stand out even if you wear black, ED> :)

[lcdancesport]

Bright pink leopard tailsuit lol

*mental note* buy more dance skirts.

[elisedance]

great idea etp. Bubblegum colour with an over-sized chiffon bow tie, purple shoes and a matchihng purple top hat.

Wanna dance with me?

[etp777]

As long as you don't put me in orange and green. Since I'm almost a foot and a half shorter than you, would look like you were dancing with an OompaLoompa. :)

[etp777]

http://www.voguefabricsstore.com/store/catalog/VF071-49-Wondrous-Couture-Doublefaced-Coating-p-4271.html

That suiting fabric would even give you two choices on what color you wanted the tailsuit. :)

[Me]

http://www.voguefabricsstore.com/store/catalog/VF071-49-Wondrous-Couture-Doublefaced-Coating-p-4271.html

That suiting fabric would even give you two choices on what color you wanted the tailsuit. :)


I wonder if this would help attract attention on comp floors...

http://toothgrill.com/diamond_tooth_grill.jpg

[fascination]

some attention one can do without

[etp777]

Only if they're real Swarovski, Me. :)

[samina]

the ones who were repeatedly being asked to dance were the women in red dresses.

not surprised. have mentioned a few times that when i've worn my red silk latin halter dress out latin dancing, i rarely gotten a chance to sit down, lol...

[samina]

What if I wore red leopard print? :shock:

dear lord... wouldn't that be something...

[samina]

I hate wearing twirly skirts when I dance...b/c, unless there are spanx goin on underneath, I am always thinking that my uh...underbits... are gonna show

yep

[fascination]

but I prefer the corset to the haltar dress b/c the corset yeilds the same attention without the guy having to place his hand on my bare (and profusely sweaty) back

[lcdancesport]

but I prefer the corset to the haltar dress b/c the corset yeilds the same attention without the guy having to place his hand on my bare (and profusely sweaty) back

Is a corset comfortable while dancing though?

[fascination]

as long as it is tight enough to keep things in order

[samina]

but I prefer the corset to the haltar dress b/c the corset yeilds the same attention without the guy having to place his hand on my bare (and profusely sweaty) back

yes, that i understand

[cornutt]

So that explains it! Its not my dancing - its my skirt!
Makes me wonder what I pay coaches for. Sheesh. :p:rolleyes:

Dye your hair purple. :D

[danceronice]

Is a corset comfortable while dancing though?

Up to a certain point, a real corset does great things for the posture. When you reach a point where you have to bend forward any significant distance, though, not so much. (I'm talking about a boned corset that actually constricts my waist about four inches when laced correctly. I wore it for the Halloween party.) My friend tried to show me this move in Swing that involved my bending forward and going back under his arm, and I got about 45 degrees over and couldn't go any farther. I said "I can't!" He didn't understand and asked "What do you mean, you can't?" "I can't bend over that far in this!"

[Peaches]

but I prefer the corset to the haltar dress b/c the corset yeilds the same attention without the guy having to place his hand on my bare (and profusely sweaty) backDear god almighty! Breathing while standing still is enough of a p.i.t.a. in a corset for me, I can't imagine even trying to dance in the thing! Never mind the fact that with the first under-arm turn (or anything else that involved raising my arm above about shoulder level, never mind the bouncing thing going on in swing, no matter how I minimize it) the dance would cease to be legal in public.

What kind or corset do you have that's danceable?!?! (And where can I get me one?)

[Peaches]

Up to a certain point, a real corset does great things for the posture. When you reach a point where you have to bend forward any significant distance, though, not so much. (I'm talking about a boned corset that actually constricts my waist about four inches when laced correctly. I wore it for the Halloween party.) My friend tried to show me this move in Swing that involved my bending forward and going back under his arm, and I got about 45 degrees over and couldn't go any farther. I said "I can't!" He didn't understand and asked "What do you mean, you can't?" "I can't bend over that far in this!"Heh. DH was laughing at me this past weekend over something similar. I wore my corset somewhere, and just threw on a pair of shoes to walk from the house to the car. Well, once we got to where we were going I wanted to change into my nice shoes. Lemme tell you, it was one hell of a project trying to reach my freakin' feet to untie, switch, and then retie my shoes. And my corset is even all stretchy, not a real one like yours.

[danceronice]

Lol, yeah. I had some issues getting my dance shoes on, that's for sure! Thank goodness I have the kind with hooks, and didn't have to really do the buckles. I'd probably have blacked out. (Answer to the number 1 question I'm asked when wearing it: Yes, it hurts. But it gives me cleavage, which even Victoria's Secret can't do, and an even narrower waist, which is already the narrowest point of my body. So I can tolerate a little pain. Just be glad I had my dance shoes, and not what I usually wear wtih it, four-inch stilleto sandals.)

[lcdancesport]

Now I'm wondering where I can find a dancable corset.

[fascination]

Charlotte Russe

[fascination]

Heh. DH was laughing at me this past weekend over something similar. I wore my corset somewhere, and just threw on a pair of shoes to walk from the house to the car. Well, once we got to where we were going I wanted to change into my nice shoes. Lemme tell you, it was one hell of a project trying to reach my freakin' feet to untie, switch, and then retie my shoes. And my corset is even all stretchy, not a real one like yours.another fine reason to wear court shoes

[fascination]

Dear god almighty! Breathing while standing still is enough of a p.i.t.a. in a corset for me, I can't imagine even trying to dance in the thing! Never mind the fact that with the first under-arm turn (or anything else that involved raising my arm above about shoulder level, never mind the bouncing thing going on in swing, no matter how I minimize it) the dance would cease to be legal in public.

What kind or corset do you have that's danceable?!?! (And where can I get me one?)
:cool:I didn't say it was comepletely without it's risks:cool:

[Peaches]

another fine reason to wear court shoes
I have to buckle my court shoes, which takes more time than the simple tie on my AT shoes.

[fascination]

buckle? court shoes?

[Ron Obvious]

Hrmpf, women. Start talking about shoes and corsettes when the thread was about getting asked to dance. How would you feel if I started to talk about breasts with fellow male members, then we had covered 90% of this planets gossip. It's like Seinfeld says: it's entirely possible that aliens have landed here, we just haven't spotted them because we're so occupied with shoes and breasts. ;)

[fascination]

agree with you about shoes...entirely overrated...BUT...SIR...a corset is how a woman gets asked to dance...entirely on topic

[Joe]

buckle? court shoes?
Mary Jane-style.

[Purr]

agree with you about shoes...entirely overrated...BUT...SIR...a corset is how a woman gets asked to dance...entirely on topic

Can't wear one...at least for dancing...;)

[lcdancesport]

I'm sure a guy would ask a lady to dance if she wore this:
http://www.charlotterusse.com/graphics/product_images/pCHIC1-4241997t220x350.jpg

Looks like a danceable corset to me! AND it's RED lol

[suburbaknght]

Hrmpf, women. Start talking about shoes and corsettes when the thread was about getting asked to dance. How would you feel if I started to talk about breasts with fellow male members, then we had covered 90% of this planets gossip. It's like Seinfeld says: it's entirely possible that aliens have landed here, we just haven't spotted them because we're so occupied with shoes and breasts. ;)

This is extremely off topic! I highly recommend we start another thread devoted to breasts.

The above observation is sarcastic and intended to be humorous. The suggestion is not.

[Indiana_Jay]

:cool:I didn't say it was comepletely without it's risks:cool:

I volunteer for risk assessment duty.

[Indiana_Jay]

I'm sure a guy would ask a lady to dance if she wore this:
http://www.charlotterusse.com/graphics/product_images/pCHIC1-4241997t220x350.jpg

Looks like a danceable corset to me! AND it's RED lol

:raisebro: :raisebro: :raisebro:

[elisedance]

I think that was a yes.......... :rolleyes:

[fascination]

I can see that folks are beginning to get into the holiday spirit around here ;)

[cornutt]

This is extremely off topic! I highly recommend we start another thread devoted to breasts.


Er... the last time we did that, several of us almost got banned. :rolleyes:

[fascination]

correct again...and, I might reiterate...corsets were on topic as we were discussing whether or not various attire, colors etc...gets one more dances

[Tenehill]

I was at a ballroom event on Saturday, hosted by a University team but with more than two thirds of those in attendance from outside the school, and I noticed that despite the many, many women available to dance, across all levels of age, attractiveness, and skill level, the ones who were repeatedly being asked to dance were the women in red dresses. They were followed by the women in other colors. Women who wore black were dead last. I've paid attention to the patterns of being asked to dance before, and have even written about it (http://www.dance-forums.com/showthread.php?t=19288), but this is the first time I was aware of it being so closely tied to couture. Has anyone else seen this pattern? Women, all other factors being equal, do you find you are more likely to be asked to dance if you wear a certain color?


I understand; I agree with your observations about black, maybe to a lesser degree, though.

I personally dislike full black costumes. They depress me and induce sad feelings in me.

Full coverage in black doesn't fit most ladies, no matter whether they are thick, normal, or thin. Sometimes it is OK if the lady has long blond hair and the dress is not very long and she doesn't have black stockings or socks on.

When I see a lady dressed in black from top to bottom, in black stockings, in black shoes, with dark hair, I feel miserable, I ask myself: why such a punishment for us? Can't she afford something better? Does she need advice? Especially Chinese ladies tend to be in black - and they are not thick usually. Together, a group of black-dressed women makes an even worse impression.

It is my thought about their approach to own dressing and self-expression that somewhat hinders me asking them to dance, other things being equal.

[suburbaknght]

correct again...and, I might reiterate...corsets were on topic as we were discussing whether or not various attire, colors etc...gets one more dances
Hence the humor disclaimer.

[Joe]

Looks like a danceable corset to me!
What makes you think so? Just because it's strapless?

[lcdancesport]

Well the description says it's a corset and it zips up in the back, different from a traditional one with pull straps making everything that much tighter. That and I think I need to go try it on myself and see if it is really danceable, but I don't think store employees would appreciate me dancing in the dressing room!

[elisedance]

Well the description says it's a corset and it zips up in the back, different from a traditional one with pull straps making everything that much tighter. That and I think I need to go try it on myself and see if it is really danceable, but I don't think store employees would appreciate me dancing in the dressing room!

Au contraire - I did that testing out a skirt and they all started to drool with jealousy. A few rhumba walks and suddenly every attendant is in the changing room area....

:banana: Hows that for extreme rhumba walks by the way?

[lcdancesport]

Work it girl! Then start recruiting everyone :p

[DWise1]

This is extremely off topic! I highly recommend we start another thread devoted to breasts.

Well, last week one dance teacher (female) mentioned having heard that viewing breasts is healthy for you and prolongs your life. I emailed her a famous TV clip from the 60's which would explain why Mickey Rooney has lived so long: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loTnVc-uhQM.
(HINT: Mickey Rooney and Jayne Mansfield at the Academy Awards)


We now returned to the regularly scheduled topic.

[Ron Obvious]

Well, last week one dance teacher (female) mentioned having heard that viewing breasts is healthy for you and prolongs your life. I emailed her a famous TV clip from the 60's which would explain why Mickey Rooney has lived so long: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loTnVc-uhQM (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loTnVc-uhQM).
(HINT: Mickey Rooney and Jayne Mansfield at the Academy Awards)


We now returned to the regularly scheduled topic.

To whether the breasts (both male and female) influence being asked to dance? Personally, I don't think so.

[DWise1]

To whether the breasts (both male and female) influence being asked to dance? Personally, I don't think so.
Not normally a concern for me, except when I may need to worry about how to maneuver around them.

Some of us are born obvious, others try to avoid being obvious.

[cornutt]

To whether the breasts (both male and female) influence being asked to dance?

I don't usually ask the breasts. Or at least I don't think I do. ;)

[fascination]

and I don't care why a guy asks me as long as he asks me, and as long as he doesn't try to move me for me

[lcdancesport]

I don't like it when you have to convince a guy to dance with you and no, it's not b/c of me, all the girls have to convince this guy. He's not pompous either, more so just unenthusiastic?

[fascination]

well, I don't even bother with that...

[lcdancesport]

My efforts have dissipated, his loss!

[cornutt]

My efforts have dissipated, his loss!

More for me! :D

[elisedance]

Methinks I am going to have to swing by Huntsville...:wink:

[lcdancesport]

Road trip? :p

[fascination]

nah...let's bring him this way

[fascination]

no offense to alabama...I just get the sense that there is a bit more going on up here

[elisedance]

thats exactly why I am going there - there's a chance I could compete! Now, see here you girls stay just where you are and wait OK?

there again, I hope DP is not reading this [sheepish :)]

[cornutt]

thats exactly why I am going there - there's a chance I could compete! Now, see here you girls stay just where you are and wait OK?


Well, there's Nashville... although I do confess I have this sudden urge to visit Chicago... well, maybe in the spring... :cool: