Embarassment to express :x

[emily13]

I'm a beginner latin dancer. I do cha cha and rumba and a itsy bitsy bit of waltz. I LOVE to dance around and home, and I can jsut have at it with my legs. I get all snappy, do fancy stuff, splits, turns, bends, with my "imaginary" partner. I can REALLLLLY get the cha cha out of me when I'm at home.

Lessons are different, though. I feel a little held back to express myself like that and just have fun with the cha cha! I do a private lesson with a female teacher, and she is an AMAZING cha cha dancer. How do I epxlain this...my cha cha looks rather smooth and slurpy when I'm at a lesson. I'm oftentimes wearing tights, skirt, and a fancy leo. When I'm at home, my cha cha looks...BAM! I'm bare legged with a little cha cha dress on and I have fun with it.

What I don't understand is why I can't express myself in a dance practice like I can at home. I feel like it would be "too much."

Any tips, suggestions, etc?
All is appreciated!
Thanks :]
-Emily13

[latingal]

Hi emily13,

I think it's natural not to be able to express yourself in a lesson quite as well as you do when you're dancing by yourself at home. Normally in lessons you are concentrating on technique and learning the correct way to do the dance. That is not to say that the fun you feel at home shouldn't be part of the dance, it's just that it needs to be layered on top of the correct technique. That "fun" is what will make the correct technique look natural as you get better. So try to learn the technique and not lose the feeling of fun in the dance, it will help you as you progress!

latingal

[jwlinson]

Hi emily13,

I think it's natural not to be able to express yourself in a lesson quite as well as you do when you're dancing by yourself at home. Normally in lessons you are concentrating on technique and learning the correct way to do the dance. That is not to say that the fun you feel at home shouldn't be part of the dance, it's just that it needs to be layered on top of the correct technique. That "fun" is what will make the correct technique look natural as you get better. So try to learn the technique and not lose the feeling of fun in the dance, it will help you as you progress!

latingal

I agree. Focus on your technique and getting everything committed to "muscle memory." Then when you do go all out and have fun with it, the technique will be there and will really make your dancing *pop*.

I think all dancers go through this. Patience grasshopper :p

[fascination]

yea...you can obsess about difficulty emoting when you're 42 ;)

[Twilight_Elena]

Oh boy. When I'm home, I do everything perfectly. Hands, hips, balance... everything works.

[WorksForShoes]

And I think both are critical. We all need a place to practice technique so that it gets burned into muscle memory, but we all need a place to let loose and dance with great joy, so that gets burned into emotional memory. Then, hopefully one day, they unite every time we dance (still waiting for that to happen reliably, but when it does -- ahhhhhhh!)

[rjcbear]

Oh boy. When I'm home, I do everything perfectly. Hands, hips, balance... everything works.

Don't we all and all the sudden here comes the partner and we forget everything we practice by ourself... :D :rolleyes:

[nucat78]

Don't we all and all the sudden here comes the partner and we forget everything we practice by ourself... :D :rolleyes:

Oh no kidding! I can dance a nice variety of rumba patterns at home but when I try it with one of the asst. instructors at the studio, I drop into klutz mode.

[danceronice]

Right there with you, emily13. I also tend to dance better at parties than in lessons (which on the one hand is odd as I don't actually like social dancing all that much) and I think both are because, for someone who's never done any sport that didn't involve subjective judging, I get very tense when I'm in front of someone whom I percieve as judging me. In the case of lessons, whichever pro it is I'm with has umpteen years of experience and can see every teeny tiny mistake I'm making. Now, I know RATIONALLY that they're not sitting there thinking, "Damn, she sucks," but my IRrational brain doesn't want to admit that. I'm so obsessed with getting everything perfect I hamstring myself. My poor Smooth/Standard pro gets the worst of this as it manifests as cutting my steps short and absolutely freezing when he asks me to do something alone. As for Rhythm and Latin, I'm horribly self conscious in Latin group (the only time I do it) because I can SEE in the mirror that I'm missing all the little extras and flare that it needs. For Rhythm, the only time I seem at all capable of turning it on is (ironically enough) on the competition floor. Why I can perform when I'm ACTUALLY being judged and fall apart when I only percieve myself as being judged is for someone with a therapy or psychiatry degree to figure out. (Except one possible guess, based on something my skating coach once said--that it's my pros I desperately want to please, while the judges are just people I have to make happy for thirty seconds or so. My skating coach once said after I was beating myself up for not skating a test perfectly--even though I did it well enough pass--"You'll go out there and kill yourself skating for me and [my other coach]." I think it's the same thing--I just want decent marks from the judges, I desperately want the good opinion of my pros.)

I have no advice, because really, I've never gotten over it yet.

[standardgirl]

For me, I think you just have to be really comfortable with your teacher and just let yourself out at time. It used to be that I am shy during lesssons simply b/c I know that the instructor is a lot more knowledgable and I don't feel like/want to make any "mistakes" by trying to express myself. OK, I thought I would look stupid during lessons doing stuff like this. At that time, I was much more comfortable dancing with a peer partner as we stand more on an equal line. I felt like I can express myself, share my thoughts/feelings, etc.

I am getting much better at this now during lessons. Gaining more confidence and just be more comfortable to "goof" around from time to time playing with the arm styling, facial expression, etc etc. However, I still perform much better during competitions and at parties. I think sometimes you just need the atmosphere to do all the stuff

[meow]

I think all beginners go through that stage of thinking that 'everyone is looking at you.' when in fact they are not. At home you have the freedom to dance however you want and no-one is there. In the studio, many people are there; your instructor and others having lessons or practice. Usually, people only stop to watch when they think you are fantastic, other then that they work on their own stuff. And I agree with the pther posters that you are trying harder to concentrate on technique at the studio whereas at home you just let loose and dance although with the emphasis on having fun rather than technique. Completely normal and eventually you will start to work on technique at home and find that just as fun.

[jwlinson]

I think all beginners go through that stage of thinking that 'everyone is looking at you.' when in fact they are not.

How so very true. When we first started, I used to be so paranoid of being on the floor at all, since I just *knew* everyone would watch me make mistakes. Now that I'm more comfortable being on the floor, I don't even notice anyone watching. Even when we perform our showdances it's something like "yes they're there watching, and yes they see me. We're rocking!" :p

I was so uptight at our first few showdances, but now after putting in all the work and effort, and doing so many showdances, I'm more at ease on the floor now whether we're showing or not. Lots of progress for someone as shy as I used to be.

[nucat78]

I think all beginners go through that stage of thinking that 'everyone is looking at you.' when in fact they are not. [...] In the studio, many people are there; your instructor and others having lessons or practice. Usually, people only stop to watch when they think you are fantastic, other then that they work on their own stuff. [...]you are trying harder to concentrate on technique at the studio whereas at home you just let loose and dance although with the emphasis on having fun rather than technique. [...]

How about this one: I was at a dance venue last night when somebody tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and there was one of my asst teachers. I tried to stay on the opposite side of the floor from her all night but when we were in proximity, yes, I started making mistakes.

My partner last night is a school psychologist and she thought it was hilarious.

[elisedance]

I had the same issues as you (as we all probably had - see above) but they were made particularly bad since for a long time when I was starting serious lessons it was at a studio that had a lot of highly competetive young dancers (several of which are now Canadian champs). I really feared the scrutinizing eyes of the youngsters (I am not!!) while I did my basic steps and turns. What really helped was two realizations. First, to these up-and-comers I was actually invisible - I doubt that any of them actually ever watched me dance for more than a few seconds.

Even if they - or the other more mature dancers - did look it dawned on me that EVERYONE at the studio is busy making mistakes! It might not look like it to you but they are either taking a lesson on something new (and hence making a mistake cause they don't know it yet) or they are practicing likewise. In their minds they are defective becuase they can't do the step/routine/technique that they are learning. Anyone who watched (and yes, people do sit by the side changing shoes or whatever and do look) will either see dancers better than them who are seemingly dancing perfectly (because they can not see what they are trying to learn) or people who are not as good as them who are learning more basic issues than they know. In either case there is no judgement of the dancer - after all that is exactly what the studio is for - working on things that you do not know.

We all have our vulnerabilities - mine is on the competition floor - and have to figure out ways to deal with them. Usually it boils down to accepting what you are and what you can and can not do being proud of the former and being honest about the latter. Its where dancing is a great practice lesson for the rest of life....

[fascination]

so interesting...I can emote to beat the band on the comp floor or in front of a coach but I really really struggle alone w/pro...it's like: man I just do not want to be critiqued in that venue

[elisedance]

Its the 'laid bare' syndrome: they know all your weaknesses and exhibit no restraint from pointing them out. Of course, that makes you do every error possible...