I have no idea how to dance :(

[fenixfrenzy87]

Ok well I'll say this now, I am pretty young and have a big dance coming up. There is this girl I know that wants to dance with me and I have absolutely no idea how. Seriously, if they came up with a syndrome for two left feet, I would have it. This is a school dance so there will be no real dancing except for grinding. Even though my friends have told me that it is easy and you just follow the hips of your partner. I just wanted to get some little tips from other people, because I would still probably look stupid even trying to do such a simple dance as this. Please help :( , and don't laugh at me because I have never danced before :tongue:

[pygmalion]

Hi fenixfrenzy87! Welcome. :D

Not to worry. DF members will come to the rescue. 8) How much time do we have to get you whipped into shape before your big dance?

[fenixfrenzy87]

At the moment I only have two days! :(

[Pacion]

A dance teacher once said to me, even people with "two left feet" can still learn to dance. You just name them "left foot 1" and "left foot 2" :wink:

Is there no one in your family or friends that you could practice a few simple moves like travelling forwards and back or simple twirls?

As for "grinding"? I call that "rent a tile" because you are only occupying the space equivalent to a tile :oops:

[pygmalion]

:shock: :shock: Two days!?! Okay. Okay. I'll try to remain calm while we map out a dance strategy for you. :wink:

Some questions. What kind of music will be playing (artists, too, if you have any idea) How much dancing do you plan to do? All night on the floor, or just a couple carefullly selected dances? And, btw, do you have an asking the girl to dance plan mapped out?

Two days. We can work with this. :wink: :D

[fenixfrenzy87]

Well theres most likely going to be rap music playing and stuff like that(thats whats hip with the kids these days :tongue: ) And me and her are going to the dance together, so I don't really have to ask her to dance lol I think we're just gonna start up when we get there. We plan on dancing the whole night lol

[suckeedancerr]

alright, im gonna listen up since this is such a hot topic. im goin to the same dance, and im pretty bad from my experience. the only time i can say i wasnt that bad (and im not sure since i cant see myself dancin) was wen the girl i was grindin with placed my hands on her @$$ and i followed em. i dont think i can do that this time since im not dancin with the same girl, so please, in dire need of advice. im still cool tho, right? 8)

[pygmalion]

:lol: :lol: Oh suckeedancerr. First thing we gotta do is change your user name. A positive outlook is half the battle.

I don't want to dominate the conversation. Anybody else care to comment? Or does no one here do grinding? (raised eyebrow smilie here)

[suckeedancerr]

i guess ur right, but i dont have any self confidence lol. partly because i suck at dancing. but visiting this website will change that, right? :D

[SDsalsaguy]

visiting this website will change that, right? :D
You better believe it! :D

[dancin_feet]

The first thing I would be looking at is listening to the type of music that was going to be playing and see if I could work out the "rhythum" of the music. Rap is pretty good because the rhythum and beat are fairly strong. Once you have that worked out, just try some simple swaying to the music, or move your hips side to side and see if you can keep going with the music.

Once you have that try your feet (remember, lefty 1 and lefty 2!). Just a simple walking on the spot to the beat of the music will do to begin with. Once you have this, you can start working on some actual moves, but the moves will be no good if you don't "get" the beat of the music.

[fenixfrenzy87]

Thanks for the help :D, does anyone else have any tips on the actual grinding aspect of the dance?

[pygmalion]

I had a feeling nobody was going to bite. I grind fairly well, actually. There's good news and bad news. The bad news is that many people find it hard to learn. The good news is that you're probably not a suckee dancer. You're just normal. Grinding is muscular isolations, which is just what it sounds like -- using just the muscles in your rib cage and your hips.

More bad news. You probably won't learn to do it well by Saturday. Good news? You can learn enough to get by, and nobody's watching. You were probably on the right track, suckee dancer. Take a lesson fenix. Just relax, watch your partner, and mimic what's she's doing. Keep your hands off her butt, though, unless she gives you express permission.

There's more, but I really want to give someone else a chance to comment before I spill it all.

[fenixfrenzy87]

hahahahahah ok well thanks for the help so far, she is coming over my house tommorow though, so I think I'm gonna practice with her :D But I still need to know more!lol I want to become a dancing machine!

[SDsalsaguy]

Thanks for the help :D, does anyone else have any tips on the actual grinding aspect of the dance?
Stand in one place, feet a bit wider than shoulder width apart. Now try shifting your weight from side to side without lifting your feet off the ground. Now keep doing that but crouching lower and lower as you go. Now keep doing the same thing coming back up.

Now repeat but swinging your hips in a half circle as you go, i.e. from right-to-back-to-left and then returning it from left-to-back-to-right. After you have it down do the same thing working your way down and then back up.

Once you have that, try doing the revers, i.e. from right-to-front-to-left in one direction and then returning from-left-to-front-to right. Then try doing this both down and back up.

Once you have all of those down just start mixing it up...

[pygmalion]

Okay. First. Attitude. Attitude. Attitude. Both of you must concentrate on feeling cool. And hot. And utterly sexual. No fooling. Grinding is a sexual pantomime. Bottom line. Think sex. Shouldn't be difficult, right? :wink: :D


Next. Plant your feet (preferably between hers LOL) If you start moving your feet around, you're going to look like a newbie, and you don't need foot action to grind.

Third. If the girl can dance, watch her and feel for her rhythm. Then, although I normally wouldn't suggest it, follow her rhythm.

More in the next post. :wink:

[suckeedancerr]

the only practice partner i can think of has a boyfriend :( . But i guess ill just hafta practice with my pillow or sumthin lol.

[Pacion]

Anybody else care to comment? Or does no one here do grinding? (raised eyebrow smilie here)

nope :?: :lol: Here are my suggestions:

How about if we start with what the hands are doing :wink: and then work down towards the feet?

fenixfrenzy87, do you know how to "hold the girl" whether it is your left hand on her right shoulder blade and your right hand holding her left in an "L" shape? Don't worry, based on the tension of your hand on her shoulder blade, you can still hold her as close as both of you want :wink:

Another hold is for you to have both your hands clasped around her waist and her hands around your neck. Or, if you are feeling confident enough and playful, she could have her hands around your waist and you could have your hands around her neck.

If you and suckeedancerr know each other, (seeing as you are both going to the same dance) maybe you can get together and practise some of the more basic steps?

No matter what happens, make sure that you are smiling. It suggests that you are confident (even if you are shaking like a leaf) and that you are having a good/great time. Also, a smile tends to draw onlookers attention to your face, not your feet :wink:

Okay, so that is the hands taken care of, from my perspective.

The hips. The knees move the hips, not the hips moving the hips. Do you have a full lenght mirror? Yes? Good! Put some music on and stand in front of the mirror, feet slightly apart. BEND those knees and shift the weight from first one side to the next. Your hips should then follow.

(There is a "girl's game" called the hola hoops? You might know it by a different name. Female gymnasts use the hoops also. They place the hoops around their waist and by moving the knees and hips, they keep the hoop around their waist. In my opinion, it is the same concept with the hip action.)

Practise moving the hips (even without the hoops :wink: ) from side to side and then diagonally - forward lefthand corner, back righthand corner and then switch to forward righthand corner and then back lefthand corner. Meanwhile, keep checking that your knees are bent :!:

When doing this, the feet are flat on the feet and the overall effect should be a smooth swaying rather than a plain "bump and grind" :oops:

Okay, I am all out on advice just now. Anyone else? :wink:

Whatever happens, do let us know how you get on :D

[pygmalion]

Yup. This is turning into a great thread.

:D

[SDsalsaguy]

Plant your feet (preferably between hers LOL)
Yup, everything I said (on page 1) looks/works 10 time better if you do this and then both match each other the rest of the way...

[Pacion]

Thanks for the help :D, does anyone else have any tips on the actual grinding aspect of the dance?

Try not to focus so much on the "grinding" aspect. That will happen "naturally" if you get your knees and hips to move "smoothly" :wink:

The hip movement is the same, it is just the closeness of the holds that turn it into "grinding"/"rent a tile" :D

[SDsalsaguy]

The hips. The knees move the hips, not the hips moving the hips.
Yes, yes, YES :!:

[fenixfrenzy87]

Wow guys great advice! I'm learning so much already :D KEEP IT COMIN'!!!

[pygmalion]

Yup. Keep it small. Newbies see folks on videos doing extreme moves and try to mimic them, not realizing that those people are professional dancers. To start, keep it small. Don't worry about your hands too much; just let them move with your bodies. Touch the girl, not too sexy. Suggestive is better. Touch the small of her back, or her stomach, if she's comfortable with that. Or pretend you're going to touch her, but don't quite connect. Sexy!


Bottom line, just be yourself.

[Pacion]

Yup. This is turning into a great thread.

:D

If this "two day crash course" is successful, do you think we can patent/copyright it :wink:

[pygmalion]

The hips. The knees move the hips, not the hips moving the hips.
Yes, yes, YES :!:

Yes. If you're doing it right, chances are your thighs will be sore the next day (unless you're an athlete and used to it)

[suckeedancerr]

alright we got the hips down, thanks a lot. anything anyone culd say about--i guess u culd call it "frontal grinding." where ur pretty much dancin stomachs touchin n stuff. :) i prolly wont get that far, but help wuldnt hurt just in case :D

[SDsalsaguy]

If this "two day crash course" is successful, do you think we can patent/copyright it :wink:
Sure, why not? And then we can use the procedes to perpetually fund the DF too, right? :lol:

[pygmalion]

Thanks for the help :D, does anyone else have any tips on the actual grinding aspect of the dance?

Try not to focus so much on the "grinding" aspect. That will happen "naturally" if you get your knees and hips to move "smoothly" :wink:

The hip movement is the same, it is just the closeness of the holds that turn it into "grinding"/"rent a tile" :D

Closeness. Yes. Not necessarily direct contact. I actually prefer it when my partner and I come within an inch or two, but don't touch. It looks and feels sexier, and there's more room for mistakes. If I don't catch his rhythm, it's no big deal.

[SDsalsaguy]

alright we got the hips down, thanks a lot. anything anyone culd say about--i guess u culd call it "frontal grinding." where ur pretty much dancin stomachs touchin n stuff. :) i prolly wont get that far, but help wuldnt hurt just in case :D
Ok, here's an example... take the side-to-front-to-side I've mentioned. Well, if you're doing that part than, as the natural counterpart, she'd be doing the side-to-back-to-side thing. And, if one of your legs is planted between hers (and vice versa) you'll already be there. Tah dah!

[Pacion]

anything anyone culd say about--i guess u culd call it "frontal grinding." where ur pretty much dancin stomachs touchin n stuff. :)

:doh: try not to focus so much on the "grinding". If you are moving your hips be it forward and back, sideways, in circles or diagonal lines, then you are "grinding". As I said before, it is the CLOSENESS of the hold that will affect whether your stomachs are touching or not :D

[suckeedancerr]

haha thanks

[fenixfrenzy87]

Thanks so much guys lol I jus practiced in my mirror....I don't look like a complete jackass, I dont think at least :lol:

[SDsalsaguy]

Well there you go! See? And that was in 10-15 minutes! And you still have two whole days to practice too... :banana:

[Pacion]

A few other holds/positions for "grinding":

You mentioned the "stomachs touching" so in that hold, you are facing each other.

Other options are:
- side by side, facing the same direction - her left hip against your right hip or your left hip against her right hip
- side by side, facing opposite directions - her left hip against your left hip or your right hip against her right hip
- back to back
- her back against your front
- your back against her front

[Pacion]

Thanks so much guys lol I jus practiced in my mirror....I don't look like a complete jackass, I dont think at least :lol:

Did you remember to check that your knees were bent :wink:

[fenixfrenzy87]

Yes lol but I must say that it feels a little awkward :tongue: , so how much are you exactly supposed to bend them? And also are you supposed to only move your knees? Or is it like a lil knees along with a lil hip, like a two part sorta thing.

[Pacion]

Touch the girl, not too sexy. Suggestive is better. Touch the small of her back, or her stomach, if she's comfortable with that. Or pretend you're going to touch her, but don't quite connect. Sexy!

Yes, I agree there too. Generally speaking, not all girls like that direct contact, especially if they don't know you very well. They feel as if they are being mauled/you are an octopus - your hands are getting everywhere! On the other hand, it sounds like this girl likes you so she might not mind. Still, suggestive is a lot better :D

Oh, as for the hands themselves, you can hold her hands, letting the fingers link, look deeply into her eyes, smiling as you do so :wink: and still do all the hip action we have been telling you about :D

[suckeedancerr]

pygmalion's a girl!! well pygmalion, maybe u culd give us boys a little secret info from the opposite sex's point of view? 8)

[Pacion]

If this "two day crash course" is successful, do you think we can patent/copyright it :wink:
Sure, why not? And then we can use the procedes to perpetually fund the DF too, right? :lol:

lol SD!

Yes lol but I must say that it feels a little awkward , so how much are you exactly supposed to bend them? And also are you supposed to only move your knees? Or is it like a lil knees along with a lil hip, like a two part sorta thing.

It only feels awkward because you are unaccustomed :D In terms of how much, try out different depths. The deeper the bend/more the knees are bent, the more the hips will move. The straighter the knees, the less the hips will move "naturally". Play with it and try different depths. There is no right or wrong depth. It just depends on what sort of hip action you want.

Another option for the feet is to have one knee straighter than the other, say your left knee bent (and therefore the weight is on your leftside) and your right knee straighter (and of course, your feet are wider apart, almost like a little lunge) and, shift your weight slightly from left to right so that the left knee straights a little, and the right knee bends a little bit more, but not quite as much. Now, you have a different sort of grind action going on :wink:

Wow! Trying to put this in to words is really making me think :cry: :lol:

PS. Notice how this guy => :banana: is bending his knees and not moving his hips :wink: :D

[fenixfrenzy87]

hahahaha Ok, I must think like a banana, eat like a banana, must be the banana :D So I guess that means you just let the knees do all the work and you just let you hips follow.

[pygmalion]

pygmalion's a girl!! well pygmalion, maybe u culd give us boys a little secret info from the opposite sex's point of view? 8)

LOL. You guys are so cool. For me, grinding goes with the music. It's not necessarily a sexual attraction to my partner. It just happens naturally when the right music is on. But, then again, if the right music is on and the partner is right too, things can get pretty steamy. :oops: :lol:

My take is, keep it cool. (But dance close LOL) If the girl is interested, the cool approach will feel sensual. If she's not interested, you won't be getting too much in her space.

[pygmalion]

It only feels awkward because you are unaccustomed :D In terms of how much, try out different depths. The deeper the bend/more the knees are bent, the more the hips will move. The straighter the knees, the less the hips will move "naturally". Play with it and try different depths. There is no right or wrong depth. It just depends on what sort of hip action you want.



And another option is to mix it up and use different depths of knee bend throughout the dance.

[fenixfrenzy87]

So much advice!!!Thank you all very much, I'm already learning so much! :D :D

[suckeedancerr]

wut if, say, the girl is 2 yrs older and this might only be a one night thing? :oops: i mean, ill see her after in skool n stuff, but im not lookin to get too sensual since we dont know eachother extremely well. it's not like i dont want relations, hell i wish i culd have relations with her :D , but we only met like 2 weeks ago. any advice from experience, seeing as i dont have any?

[Pacion]

For some reason, I can't do an automatic quote on the last post :oops:

Also, I didn't know if anyone saw what I wrote...but. I still have a couple questions Like how much are you exactly supposed to bend your hips? And also I'm still a lil confused about the whole knees moving hips thing. Is it supposed to be like your just moving your knees? Or are you also moving your hips a little too?

You are bending your knees, not the hips. If you are "bending the hips" it suggests to me that you are bending from the waist and your back is therefore bent. That is a different look and can be uncomfortable for the girl depending on which way she is facing. If she is facing you, it means that she is bending backwards and could fall over :oops:

Knees moving hips = try and think of how you walk. I have never studied human movement but having just tried it out myself, :wink: when I walk, my knee bends first, the rest of my leg follows through in a certain motion, and then my hips.

So try standing, in front of your mirror, feet just further apart than you shoulders, as I think SD suggested. Keep your knees straight and literally just move your hips from side to side.

Next, bend your knees as far as you can and then gently straighten first one and then the other (almost as if you are walking without moving your feet). The hips will then follow. How do you feel? Can you feel a difference between what is effectively two extremes? This one should feel smoothier and less jerky.

Now, try it again, this time without bending your knees quite as much. Do you feel a difference between the previous two?

Yes, it will feel awkward, the first few times but the main thing I believe at this stage is to feel the differences between the various positions of your feet and how much your knees are bending.

[fenixfrenzy87]

Wow...that was really amazing advice!!! I already feel like I know what to do! :D

[Pacion]

wut if, say, the girl is 2 yrs older and this might only be a one night thing? :oops: i mean, ill see her after in skool n stuff, but im not lookin to get too sensual since we dont know eachother extremely well. it's not like i dont want relations, hell i wish i culd have relations with her :D , but we only met like 2 weeks ago. any advice from experience, seeing as i dont have any?

Then, focus less on the "grinding" :wink: and just on having a funtime with her. You haven't said how old you are :D but, if she has a comfortable and funtime, chances are she will a) still talk to you afterwards b) tell all her female friends what a great time she had dancing with you (if it is true) and c) you will have more dance partners next time :D

[Pacion]

Wow...that was really amazing advice!!! I already feel like I know what to do! :D

Great! Now get back in front of that mirror and try the different variations another hundred times! :D

[suckeedancerr]

haha thanks pacion

[fenixfrenzy87]

So its like the bending of the knees that actually move your hips then! Its all starting to make sense! What I said was correct right? that the bending of the knees controls the movement of you hips. Lol, well it looks like im still a lil confused actually :oops:

[pygmalion]

suckee dancerr. Good question. I remember the first time I went out club freestyling with one of my former dance teachers. I let loose and danced, including a bunch of grinding. When I got to the studio for my lesson on Monday, he said,"It's the quiet ones you've gotta watch." :shock:

I guess I shocked everybody.

Don't sweat it. Just follow the girl's lead in terms of how close she'll let you get. Body language can be pretty clear. Actually ask her if she'd like to dance, would be my suggestion. When one of those reggae or reggaeton songs comes on, if you ask, you'll get a feel for how comfy she is. If she's not comfortable grinding, she'll say no.

Take it slow, and watch how she reacts. That's what dancing is -- sensitivity to your partner -- right? :wink: :D

[Pacion]

So its like the bending of the knees that actually move your hips then! Its all starting to make sense! What I said was correct right? that the bending of the knees controls the movement of you hips.

Yes, at this stage, you are correct.

After you have both practiced for a thousand times :wink: you then try the same bending of your knees AND way/move your hips in the same direction as your knees are going so that more of your weight is on the same side as your bent knee.

This gives greater emphasis to the grind/hip action but, I did not want you to try the above first. You need to be able to isolate or be aware of the movement first before you can add the hips :oops:

[Pacion]

suckee dancerr. Good question. I remember the first time I went out club freestyling with one of my former dance teachers. I let loose and danced, including a bunch of grinding. When I got to the studio for my lesson on Monday, he said,"It's the quiet ones you've gotta watch." :shock:

I guess I shocked everybody.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[fenixfrenzy87]

Alright then, I'm listening to JC Chasez right now and practicing :D

[Pacion]

Alright then, I'm listening to JC Chasez right now and practicing :D

Who is JC Chasez :oops: :lol:


PS I am going to get some sleep now (I am in a different timezone). So good luck with the practising and keep on practising. That is the only way for the movements to feel more natural :D

[fenixfrenzy87]

Lol he's that guy from N'sync who jus got his own record out :D All right guys thanks for all the help but now I gotta go read a book for english so I'm out for the night. PLEASE LEAVE MORE ADVICE FOR ME TO READ TOMMOROW :D goodnight all

[Pacion]

The only guy I know from N'sync is Justin Timberlake. So if JC Chasez is ex N'sync, I think I can guess at the style of music then :wink: :D

[NeoDevin]

Sheesh, I'm off doing my calculus for 6 hours and I miss the whole thread. Looks like almost everything has been said already. I might add though, if you're grinding front to front, and things are going well, don't be afraid to make out on the dance floor, and let your hands 'wander' a little. @$$ is a fine place for hands to wander, as is back, and through her hair. On her front though you'll want to restrict your hands to her sides, stomach, and neck. Please note though, don't just do this right away, only do it after things start to heat up a little... unless you feel like getting slapped.

[Swing Kitten]

... you may want to err on the side of "not NeoDevin's advice" !!!! Inappropriate touching is just that-- inappropriate. Both dancing and relationships are about your partner-- they come first as long as you don't compromise yourself.

This is a school dance with people you will need to live with for a while yet-- be respectful -- it's best to not make anyone feel uncomfortable

You can do this and still have a great time

[SDsalsaguy]

... you may want to err on the side of "not NeoDevin's advice" !!!! Inappropriate touching is just that-- inappropriate. Both dancing and relationships are about your partner-- they come first as long as you don't compromise yourself.

This is a school dance with people you will need to live with for a while yet-- be respectful -- it's best to not make anyone feel uncomfortable

You can do this and still have a great time
...I second SK's advice :!:

[NeoDevin]

... his loss...

[Tasek]

Wow, this thread is moving fast!

Seems like you have already gotten plenty of advice on 'basic grinding' so I'll assume you can manage that and try and give you a few (merengue) moves which you can throw in every now and then (don't overdo them) for a little added flavour.
What i'm going to tell you aren't blueprints to be followed exactly, just go with the flow and if something fails don't sweat it, just smile and return to 'basic grinding'.

Sweetheart: from a closed position take the girl's hands in yours (her right hand in your left, and vice versa), gently push her a bit away, then close two distance between the two of you again whilst putting your arms straight up into the air, then as you are up against each other again with your arms up in the air slowly lower your arms again to your side (depending on how crowded the floor is you can either really put your arms to the side or you'll have to keep them close to avoid bopping others on the head). And the key element in this move is EYE CONTACT, got that?? EYE CONTACT!! while you are doing this keep EYE CONTACT. Did I already mention that EYE CONTACT is what will make or break this move.

cuddle: similar begin to the previous one, take her hands and create some distance, then take your left hand (and her right hand) move it to the right in front of you and inbetween the two of you, then move your hand up and your arm over the girl's head (at this time the girl should be doing a half turn to the left), then your arm goes down and the girl should be in front of you, back towards you and your arms around her waist still holding her hands (don't have a death grip! in order for this to work you'll have to let your hands slide through each other; don't hold hands firmly, just try and keep them together). Hold position for a short while then reverse to turn out of the position again: left arm goes up, arm comes back to you while the girl is doing a half turn in the opposite direction to be facing you again.
You can vary this move by doing it the other way (left becomes right), or by putting yourself in the cuddle: instead of turning the girl you yourself make a half turn and put the arms over your own head.

A personal favourite of mine to return to a closed position from an open position is this one: you're holding both hands of the girl (her right in your left etc...), hold up your hands and lead in girl in a full turn (either direction will work), again your hands will have to slide through each other, then after the girl has turned your arms should be crossed (at about the wrist), then lift your arms and put them over your head, let go of the girl's hands and let them drop on your shoulders, your free hands can now take her into a closed position again (around her waist, on her hips, whatever fancies you) while her arms are around you neck.

Hopefully these descriptions will help and if at all possible practice them with someone a few times before your dance, just half an hour going through them should do the trick.

As far as the last few posts are concerned, since all the info on the people and circumstances come from a few words on a bulletin board i'm not going to advice you on whether or not to go ahead and try, but I will tell you this much,
IF you're going to try and do a little more then just dancing, take it slow, baby steps, build it up (if you want some more advice on this pm me) and if at any point the girl seems uncomfortable, or pulls back, or in any way indicates she doesn't want it STOP! (if you don't stop then I will find you and kick your ass!)

[MapleLeaf Salsero]

@$$ is a fine place for hands to wander, as is back, and through her hair. On her front though you'll want to restrict your hands to her sides, stomach, and neck. Please note though, don't just do this right away, only do it after things start to heat up a little... unless you feel like getting slapped.

LOL!! NeoDevin, your post was hilarious! :lol: :lol:

[Pacion]

IF you're going to try and do a little more then just dancing, take it slow, baby steps, build it up (if you want some more advice on this pm me) and if at any point the girl seems uncomfortable, or pulls back, or in any way indicates she doesn't want it STOP! (if you don't stop then I will find you and kick your @$$!)

Looks like Tasek is someone you don't want to upset :shock: :D

Although as NeoDevin said about not "going there" straight away, unless you feel like getting slapped, even if she does not slap you there and then, you don't want to earn a reputation of being an "octupus" - your hands get EVERYWHERE. Whilst the slap or a drink poured all over you is instant humiliation, a "dodgy" reputation is a lot harder to turn around and out of your control. Unless someone tells you that is what the girls are saying, you can't do anything about it, whether it is true or false.

[bordertangoman]

Put a piece of music. Listen to the beat step to the beat shift weight from one foot to another

Listen to some music that flows and move with it in a flowing way- start with your arms then make the movements bigger to include your body hips elbows get it all moving - just explore what it can do and how it wants to move to the music ( stop thinking and feel how the music takes you)

Imagine you are a animal, or a tree or grass in the wind, or maybe a river or sea with waves. Move like the animal.

Then cobine all three and see what happens;
beat, flow and animal

[bordertangoman]

:lol: PS if you're pretending to be snake/ tiger/elphant or whatever your guide animal is;no-one else knows-like your wearing a mask nobody sees. :wink:

[Tasek]

Looks like Tasek is someone you don't want to upset :shock: :D


:twisted: Better believe it; i'm a badass :twisted: :wink:

8) Not really though, i'm generally a very relaxed guy, unwanted advances just happen to be a pet peeve of mine,
WANTED advances on the other hand :ladiesma: bring it on :D

[MapleLeaf Salsero]

This is kind of embarassing saying this after you´ve posted 11 times, nevertheless,

Tasek, wellcome to the DF!

I´m always late...

[Pacion]

I´m always late...

From your profile, I am guessing that you are in Lisbon? That wouldn't have anything to do with it would it :wink:

(I have met more spanish and italian people than portuguese but I suspect that the cultures are very similiar - friendly, very social and quite laidback (aka unhurried) :D

[Tasek]

No matter the timing, it's always nice to hear you're welcome, thanks Mapleleaf.

[Pacion]

WANTED advances on the other hand :ladiesma: bring it on :D

:lol: :lol:

[MapleLeaf Salsero]

From your profile, I am guessing that you are in Lisbon? That wouldn't have anything to do with it would it :wink:


Pacion, you have a great sense of humour. :wink:


(I have met more spanish and italian people than portuguese but I suspect that the cultures are very similiar - friendly, very social and quite laidback (aka unhurried) :D

Well yes, you´ve managed to describe latin Europeans perfectly in just two or three words.

Great to have someone here in the same time zone (GMT). :D

[pygmalion]

Let's not put the cart before the horse here. ( :oops: Um. American colloqialism that means let's not jump to conclusions) These are a couple high school guys going out to a dance with girls they want to impress by dancing the popular dances well. Sexual advances may or may not figure into it at all. If I remember my high school days clearly, groping at school dances was a non-issue, because there were chaperones who made sure it didn't happen. (I went to a very strict all girls' school many moons ago. LOL)

To me, the dancing part is covered well enough for fenix and suckeedancerr to go out there and make us proud. :banana: The only unresolved question is the etiquette of intimate dances with someone you don't know well. might like to know better, and have to deal with for the forseeable future either way. Not?

[Pacion]

Let's not put the cart before the horse here. ( :oops: Um. American colloqialism that means let's not jump to conclusions)

:lol: I think I have heard that expression "once before" :wink:

These are a couple high school guys going out to a dance with girls they want to impress by dancing the popular dances well. Sexual advances may or may not figure into it at all. If I remember my high school days clearly, groping at school dances was a non-issue, because there were chaperones who made sure it didn't happen. (I went to a very strict all girls' school many moons ago. LOL)

Pygmalion, we are just umm, moulding them, shaping them for the future :wink: nipping it in the bud, so to speak. Basically, trying to cut down Tasek's work so that he does not have to clockup those frequent flyer points unnecessarily :D

To me, the dancing part is covered well enough for fenix and suckeedancerr to go out there and make us proud. :banana: The only unresolved question is the etiquette of intimate dances with someone you don't know well. might like to know better, and have to deal with for the forseeable future either way. Not?

Agreed re the etiquette of intimate dances and just being in the dance scene. For instance, when a guy asks me to dance, I love it when he holds my hand and guides us to the dance space and then escorts me off the dancefloor when it is over :oops: :D I also love it when he says "thank you" at the end. I always say "thank you" whether I asked him or he asked me - and if it was a particularly good one, that is, fun, he might get a hug and a kiss on the cheek as well :D No, I am not flirting, just expressing what a great time I had :wink:

Also, I want to know what they will be wearing, if they will be wearing cologne/aftershave and if so, "how much" :wink:

[MapleLeaf Salsero]

Let's not put the cart before the horse here. ( :oops: Um. American colloqialism that means let's not jump to conclusions)

:lol: I think I have heard that expression "once before" :wink:



Hmm... I know this expression also. Must be a universal thing.


I always say "thank you" whether I asked him or he asked me - and if it was a particularly good one, that is, fun, he might get a hug and a kiss on the cheek as well :D No, I am not flirting, just expressing what a great time I had :wink:


I´ve also gotten hugs or kisses on the cheek after a dance. :D I love it when that happens. :wink:

[pygmalion]

Let's not put the cart before the horse here. ( :oops: Um. American colloqialism that means let's not jump to conclusions)

:lol: I think I have heard that expression "once before" :wink:



Hmm... I know this expression also. Must be a universal thing.


I always say "thank you" whether I asked him or he asked me - and if it was a particularly good one, that is, fun, he might get a hug and a kiss on the cheek as well :D No, I am not flirting, just expressing what a great time I had :wink:


I´ve also gotten hugs or kisses on the cheek after a dance. :D I love it when that happens. :wink:

Sorry, folks. It's hard to tell how much Americanism has spread overseas, so I try not to assuma anything. (btw, I also do metric and Fahrenheit to Celsius conversions, where appropriate. LOL)

And yes, I think it's great to teach these guys some points of etiquette. For example, just because the girl is your date, doesn't mean she wants to or has to dance with you. It's polite to ask. Even if she was going to dance with you anyway, you get extra credit for being courteous. And Pacion makes a good point about the cologne. Keep it subtle. The last thing I want is to breathe in a throat full of some guy's strong cologne. Just enough so you smell good (spicy is my preference. :wink: )

[Pacion]

Sorry, folks. It's hard to tell how much Americanism has spread overseas, so I try not to assuma anything. (btw, I also do metric and Fahrenheit to Celsius conversions, where appropriate. LOL)

:lol: That's okay. We were only teasing you :wink: Interestingly enough, the americans I know, they convert Celsius to Fahrenheit and although I am a "metric" babe, if someone asks me my height/weight, it is still in ft & ins/lbs :oops:

And yes, I think it's great to teach these guys some points of etiquette. For example, just because the girl is your date, doesn't mean she wants to or has to dance with you. It's polite to ask. Even if she was going to dance with you anyway, you get extra credit for being courteous.

Interesting point you make about the girl's "obligations" with regards to the guy. As said on another thread, my Dad is "old school" and he always said that if you go to a club/dance with a guy, you dance with him a lot of the time (unless he turns out to be a sleazyball). Similiarly, if you arrive with a guy, you leave with the guy - don't see someone else you "fancy" and leave your date to his devices. :(

He also told us a story from his bachelor days when he somehow ended up escorting three girls to a party (I think two guys didn't show to pick them up but turned up at the party later). He expected that they would have left him to his own devices but to his pleasant amazement, they spent most of the evening in his company even though he said that "it was alright" for them to go and dance with the other guys - afterall, he was only escorting them right? They apparently told him "No, we came with you, we dance with you." According to my Dad, he said that he was the talk of the party and felt like a King for the night. :lol:

In today's world though, don't take it for granted and yes, you do get extra credit for being courteous :wink:

[borikensalsero]

Ahhhhhhhhhh
Grinding 101... Assuming you are in face to face position.
If you don't know how to dance... Then.... put your right foot between the girls feet, Bend your knees enough to be eye to eye with the girl, do as SD mentions and shift weight from leg to leg with each loud bang you hear, and get a good base, slightly wider than shoulder width. The shifting of weight is done with slow bend and straightening of the knees, the hip thing might be a bit too much at this time, unless you are a natural and can shake it like a mad man. :D In that case then bend your knees and sway those hips in a circular motion, not just left or right but in circles, letting the legs bend themselves as you move the hips, or let the hips move around as you bend the keens.

DO NOT BRING YOUR HANDS STRAIGHT UP IN THE AIR. It is so 1980s and as the hip-hop crowd likes to say, only white people that can't dance do it. (No offense intended) But if you plan to, slightly bring them up to about ear level or just a tiny bit above the head. Bringing the hands forward will cause the elbows to raise a bit, that is exactly where you want them until you decide to get sexier and bring the hands down to about chest level. If your hands are still up near ear level then, elbows should be pointing forward close to her body or arms as she might have them up as well. Close your hands as if you were holding a cup of coffee, leaving your elbows pointing somewhat towards the front (at their natural position when raising the hands a bit), bring your fists towards your closer to face. If you see everyone is raising their hands up in the air, then you do it with style and only lift your arms from their current position a couple inches, enough to see the movement but not all the way up. Don't make brisk movements unless she is doing so. If you are so worried about what speed to move at that you don't hear the BANG BANG, then move at her speed.

Vary the position of the arms, if she still hasn't given you the grinding go, interchange hand positions from slightly up in the air at a 90 degree elbow bend, to down behind your back, interchanging the arms. Move the hands SLOWWWWWLY... If she is getting closer don not jump on her, bring your hands behind your body and move your hips slower than she does, don't look down like you can't get enough. Look at her coming at you and enjoy what she is doing. If you still can't find what to do with your hands, then bring one arm towards her hip and the other behind your back, don’t pull her towards you, wait for her move. Or if she allows you bring your strong arm around her waist... Etc..

Now if her back is facing you, it is a completely different game.
There you do what she says, unless she likes you of course, then you are pretty much free to lead her. If she is bending forward a lot do what you wish, either follow her or simply stay your ground and move you hips at her speed. If she has your back against your chest, grab her right arm and bring it to your thigh, grasp it there with your hand, hold her other hand up to the back of her head and hold it there as well. Don't just hold it there, but embrace her entire arm with your entire arm as well. Give her a sense of togetherness, not one of I'm arresting you. Move your upper body and hips slowly (like a snake) start on top slowly and work your way down to your hips, but to her rhythm. Some people hear what isn’t even there, so you might as well not fight her and go with her. Don’t fight her, if she wants to move away from your grip let her go, and don’t follow her like a lost puppy. Stay your ground and she’ll come back to you.

THE FACE.
Show some intensity, show her that you want to be there with her and only her. Even if you dance with a 1000 girls show them all that you are there for them during that dance. Be into every move she makes, break a smile but don’t show your teeth when she does something that you like. Try to be suave, hinting a smile can take you a long way…

You’ll have no problem, the ladies today pretty much tell you what to do when grinding and what not to do. As long as you stay with in that, stay cool and show them you aren't a desperate case of male, then you’ll be ok.


If you have a down with hiphop crowd then you won't get the folks who just jump around aimlessly and you will have the in spot dancers full of rhythm. Those are the ones you want to stay close to, a girl that goes on her own with out you knowing how to dance can only make you feel worse about your skills.

Do NOT, I MEAN DO NOT attempt to grind before she gives you the go. I don't have to say what the go ahead is, you'll know, you'll really know. Flow with what she is doing and you have a great time.

Sorry for being too long and complicated, but hope not very.

[TemptressToo]

That was about the most complex explanation I've ever read. ;) Honestly, try this...go to the dance...stand to the side and watch for just a few minutes. The "booty dance" thing is SO easy...you should know what to do by just watching. You'll essentially just stand in one place...and to be perfectly honest...simply moving to the rhythm (assuming you have rhythm)...will easily equate to what teens consider dancing at school dances.

Also, when it comes to slow dances. Again, very easy. Esentially hug your partner (arms around each other's shoulders) and rock slowly side to side rotating in a small circle if you like (again to the rhythm).

Looking back on my high school days...it just kills me to think about what people thought WAS dancing. :lol:

[borikensalsero]

That was about the most complex explanation I've ever read. ;) Honestly, try this...go to the dance...stand to the side and watch for just a few minutes. The "booty dance" thing is SO easy...you should know what to do by just watching. You'll essentially just stand in one place...and to be perfectly honest...simply moving to the rhythm (assuming you have rhythm)...will easily equate to what teens consider dancing at school dances.

Also, when it comes to slow dances. Again, very easy. Esentially hug your partner (arms around each other's shoulders) and rock slowly side to side rotating in a small circle if you like (again to the rhythm).

Looking back on my high school days...it just kills me to think about what people thought WAS dancing. :lol:

Yeap, I can't seem to say anything simple. I thought about when I couldn't dance and the questions I had when I saw people dancing and went on to create a complex explanation. :mrgreen:

[Pacion]

Okay, so how are our crash course students doing today?

I saw a link on another thread for "bustamove.com" They have clips of videos there which you can view a snippet of, for free. Surprisingly, there wasn't a video for the hip action but, I love the concept they used for the videos.

I am not trying to convert you to salsa :twisted: but, if you go to the icon for salsa (on the left hand side of the screen) in the beginners' section, the #7 move is the Cucaracha. If you have a look at that, it will hopefully give you an idea of the "knees moving the hips" concept.

There is another icon called "Party Dancing". There are two dances listed there - one called the Wizard Dance and another one called Electric Slide. The music will probably be more like what you will have at the dance tomorrow night. Have a look at the various options under both the Electric Slide and the Wizard Dance. It might give you some ideas (other than just grinding :wink: ) for tomorrow night.

I would not worry about trying to memorize the choreograpy, just try and remember some of the moves like the basic walk (which you practically do everyday anyway :wink: ) and if you think it is appropriate tomorrow night, do it - and smile :D

[TemptressToo]

At a middle or high school dance, they would probably stone him for doing anything resembling latin or ballroom. :)

[Pacion]

At a middle or high school dance, they would probably stone him for doing anything resembling latin or ballroom. :)

They won't recognize it themselves :wink: They will just think "Wow! Those two guys really know how to move their hips! I want to have lessons with their teachers too!" :lol:

"A picture paints a thousand words" so a visual of the "hip action" is a lot easier than trying to describe it all the time :oops: :lol:

[suckeedancerr]

wow, so much info and explanations, thanks alot!! as i explained before, it is just my date (that i unfortunately don't know too well), so i think i'll nix the sensual stuff. but i'll say, this is the best 1.5/2 day crash course i've ever taken. oh and thanks pacion for the links. thanks everybody for everything!! :mrgreen: i am not worthy of ur excellence hah :notworth:

[SDsalsaguy]

Keep us all posted though, ok? Enquiring (i.e. nosy) DF minds want to know! :lol:

[fenixfrenzy87]

My lord this has been moving fast, to think I just created this last night around 9 o clock :shock: Everyone I now feel almost certain I will be able to dance at least fair lol. I cannot wait to show her I can move(even if it is just a tiny tiny bit :oops:) THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE FOR THEIR ADVICE. I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH!!! :D

[Sagitta]

Glad that you got the help you wanted you two: suckeedancerr and fenixfrenzy87. Welcome to df and do come back to let us know how things go and participate in our forums. :)

[Swing Kitten]

(I went to a very strict all girls' school many moons ago. LOL)

A Ha! another piece to the puzzle ;)

[pygmalion]

A little mystery is good for the soul. :wink:

[Tasek]

Oh, you mean girls are mysterious! I always thought just confusing ;) ;)

Anyway, anyone else think it's about time for an update on what happened?
(hint hint) fenix and suckee, start talking (hint hint)

[pygmalion]

Yes. Give us the scoop, guys. How did it go? :roll: :D

[SDsalsaguy]

Yup. What happened? We wanna know... tell us, tell us, tell us!

[Pacion]

:cry: It's Sunday, and no word at all from our young "warriors". I am trying to remember the #1 Rule - No News is Good News so either, they had a great evening and had all the girls rushing them for dances so they are still sleeping and trying to recover their energy;

OR (!!!!)

They got slapped within 5 mins of arriving at the dance and have vowed never to talk to us again :cry:

Come on guys! Do something. A "smoke signal" would do! Just let us (ME!) know that you survived the experience :mrgreen:

[Tasek]

Perhaps we released our young grashoppers into the world too soon, we gave them the dance skills, but it takes time to build the stamina required to survive the multitudes of girls swarming once they catch sight of a Dancer. :D
Let's hope we were not too rash and they survived.

[pygmalion]

:lol: You're right. They probably were a hot commodity last night. :D 8)

[suckeedancerr]

alright, sry i kinda forgot bout the thread, so here it goes:

my date as i sed is older than me, very beautiful (im extremely lucky i got her as my date), and unfortunately ive only know her for 1.5/2 weeks.
so she comes to my house, my parents take pics, and we head over to the skool (our skool is so cheap it was held in the f-in cafeteria). we get there rather on time, which is unlike me, so the dance floor has yet to be filled, so we wait for fenix nd his entourage. we finally get dancin, and it takes me a while to get loose n all (prolly a few songs). were all dancin in a group, buncha my frends n ther dates (fortunately most of our dates were friends too). so were gettin our groove on, or tryin at least, im pretty much just doin a half circle (up-left n back, up-right n back) and i realized how outmatched i am. i think i was really stiff, but i dont know i culdnt see myself, but anyway... here ill just go ahead and point out the worst part of the night. we were dancin front to front, but not too close, and a few times i tried gettin closer and my knees bumped hers :oops:
But now ill point out the best part. i took ur guys advice, in waiting to see if it was alright to approach her so to speak, and soon enuff (well not that soon, but i didnt expect much cuz i had heard that my date was pretty conservative with guys) she turns her back to me and we start grindin. I try to follow her rythm, i dint start out too well, but i did eventaully. However, at this point she started doin some crazy moves, like booty shakes and wut not, as were grindin, and that throws me off. The first time this happened, i completely lost it :oops: , and she came off and we just started normal dancin again. I get a second chance to grind, and i find rythm again, and u guessed it she duz it again, but i really concentrated and recovered after faultering. Then in the other times we were grindin i was able to follow the booty shake, and i must say my best dancin was at the end (last ten or so songs). But i feel like i failed because during the slow dances, even the last song, we werent very close (lik hugging-dancing), but instead my hands were on her hips, and we mustve been 5 or 6 inches at least apart :oops: . Then again, she is pretty conservative, and i guess since im pretty much a stranger she wuldnt "let me in." But overall, i had fun, and thats all that counts, right? :) After the dance, we went to my frends house for chinese food (yes she drove me, if only i culd drive).
And there you have it, my magical night. I must say, i am pretty satisfied considering how nice and beautiful a date i managed to come out with. :P

[pygmalion]

That sounds like a success to me. Expecting her to get closer than five inches when you've only known her a couple weeks is a bit much. Sounds like you held your own pretty good. 8) :D

[fenixfrenzy87]

Yeah sorry about not posting guys...we got to my house late and we were all tired. This morning my legs hurt. but overall, I have to thank each and every person that helped me. Out of all of my friends dancing i have to say that I was most likely one of the best. As I looked across the dance floor i realized that like none of my friends knew how to dance. So me and sukeedancer were some of the best :D I think my date was fairly impressed too. So thank you everyone!

[pygmalion]

Yay! :banana: :cheers: I'm SO glad you had fun.


Next, try salsa. That's a cool club dance that's easy to learn the basic, and very, very useful, if you decide to go beyond the basic. You'll have a blast, and you can become a great dancer. :wink: :D

[bordertangoman]

sounds like it was a good time. hope you have more...

[suckeedancerr]

wut fenix ment to say was that out of all our friends, he was second best. i was best of course. 8)
i cant go to clubs tho :cry: not of age sorry.

[pygmalion]

But if you stop now, you'll get out of practice. :( And, at least where I live, there are lots of under 21 clubs -- no booze, just dancing. Keep dancing, guys. 8)

[SDsalsaguy]

But overall, i had fun, and thats all that counts, right? :)
You got it!

Glad to hear you guys had such a great time! :D

[Tasek]

wut fenix ment to say was that out of all our friends, he was second best. i was best of course. 8)


Looks like we created a monster ;) :D

Way to go guys!!

[Pacion]

Next, try salsa. That's a cool club dance that's easy to learn the basic, and very, very useful, if you decide to go beyond the basic. You'll have a blast, and you can become a great dancer. :wink: :D

:shock: Gasp! Pygmalion, you do realise that you might have just recruited two more people to the salsa forum, which means more posts/threads than the ballroom forum don't you :shock:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:




Guys, glad that you did us proud! Now that you have made that first step, keep practising so that this time next year, you will be asking different kinds of questions. Oh, and Suckkeedancerr would have changed his name to a more positive one as I think Pygmalion advised :wink:

PS. Nothing wrong with 5-6 inches distance between you :wink: that distance can be just as electrifying, or in some cases, more so :wink: than the stomach to stomach thing as you can see more of the other person's body :D

[pygmalion]

:lol: Somehow I can't see them making the quantum leap to foxtrot. :shock: Although you never know. :wink: :D

[Pacion]

They might take up the jive (or one of the other latin dances) or even the waltz :wink:

Anything that utilises more than one tile, as in "rent a tile" aka "grinding" suits me :wink: I can only do that for a certain length of time before I get bored :oops: (unless the guy is the love of my life :wink: )

[PaulaAbdulFan]

ROFLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh. My. GOD. This thread had me laughing halfway throught the second or third post, and I haven't stopped yet. I need to go back and read ALL the posts, b/c I know I skipped half of them, but what I read had me in tears. (of laughter of course. :p)

Sorry, I'm not laughing AT you guys, I'm laughing WITH you! :twisted: LOL!!

[pygmalion]

Told ya it was funny! :wink:

[Sagitta]

Glad that you guys had a good time. Now you can always try out salsa, as Pygmalion suggests. Very sensual dance. :)

[borikensalsero]

WEPA!!!!! Wait till you get a hold of salsa, you'll never stop talking about it!!! Glad to hear you guys had a great time at the dance. If you try you never fail, you can only fail if you don't try. WEPAAAAA!!!

You guys tell me when you are ready to go clubing and I'll take you out. :car:

[Pacion]

You guys tell me when you are ready to go clubing and I'll take you out. :car:

Well, as "the poster formerly known as Suckeedancer" said, she drove him, he does not drive as yet. I guess they are both at an age where they can't go to clubs as yet, unless you know of a club/party venue that caters for those who can't go to clubs as yet :wink:

"the poster formerly known as Suckeedancer"

He is hopefully going to be changing his login name soon so that it is a more positive one and will be a positive reinforcement rather than a negative one :wink:

[pygmalion]

Does this mean the UK doesn't have underage dance clubs? :shock: There are a bunch here, where the main clientele is fifteen to eighteen year olds. Lots of dancing. Open til about One AM. From what I hear, lots of fun is had by all. Eighteen and up are generally admitted into regular clubs, just not allowed to drink. (Some clubs all women eighteen and up, but guys twenty-one and up. Totally unfair, if you ask me. )

[borikensalsero]

You guys tell me when you are ready to go clubing and I'll take you out. :car:

Well, as "the poster formerly known as Suckeedancer" said, she drove him, he does not drive as yet, I guess they are both at at age where they can't go to clubs as yet, unless you know of a club/party venue that caters for those who can't go to clubs as yet :wink:

lol... Indeed I do. Here the salsa venues for dancers by dancers allow any age. It doesn't matter if you are 12 years old. if you can dance, you are in. :D :D :D :D :D

No alcohol sold either. :D :D

Usually we don't get that many youngsters, the youngest I've seen are in the mid teens.

[Pacion]

Does this mean the UK doesn't have underage dance clubs? :shock: There are a bunch here, where the main clientele is fifteen to eighteen year olds. Lots of dancing. Open til about One AM. From what I hear, lots of fun is had by all. Eighteen and up are generally admitted into regular clubs, just not allowed to drink. (Some clubs all women eighteen and up, but guys twenty-one and up. Totally unfair, if you ask me. )

To my knowledge, we don't have underage dance clubs. The minimum age here is 18 and since I have been 21 for about a thousand years :wink: (makeup does wonders :D ) I haven't kept track of what the age limits are. Yes there are school dances and there might be an annual event type of thing organised by a company wanting to tap into the youth market, but nothing like what you described, to my knowledge.

I think some dance schools/studios have socials but they will probably be more of an afternoon rather than an evening thing.

Then of course, there are the parties held at someone's home.

[pygmalion]

Wow! The things you can learn in an international forum. hmm. Some regular, adults-only clubs also sponsor underage nights/evenings. And occasionally, dance promoters will put together a high school dance party/event -- those things can get huge.

Sad to admit, I'm also in been twenty one since the dawn of time club LOL. But I refuse to wear makeup. Haven't in years. What you see is what you get. :wink:

[Pacion]

Sad to admit, I'm also in been twenty one since the dawn of time club LOL. But I refuse to wear makeup. Haven't in years. What you see is what you get. :wink:

:lol: For some women (and I guess the same could apply to men :shock: ) as they get older, their face has a lot of character. I met a woman yesterday who had more wrinkles/fine lines than an aging apple. BUT to me, she was incredible to watch (and therefore beautiful) because she used her eyes and when she spoke, her whole face was part of the conversation.

I started going to clubs/discos when I was about 13 8) I was in the company of my older sisters and my parents knew that I was sensible, ie. didn't drink/smoke etc and not a "wild child". If I were to do something they did not approve of, I would have been grounded for eternity and unable to sit for months! So, the makeup came in handy "back then" :wink:

In a way, because I started using makeup in my teens - foundation, eye shadow, the works I am not into it very much. My grandfather used to say: if it takes you more than 10 mins to do your face, it isn't worth it. (He was a man of few words :D ) I try to apply that same principle and especially in a dance situation, when you are perspiring, the last thing I want to do is keep running to the ladies to check if mascara lines are making their way to my chin :oops: (the waterproof stuff requires too much cleaning after a night of dancing :( :D )

[BayAreaBallroomLady]

Wow! Somehow I think I've learned more about sex in this string than my own parents taught me! :shock:

[Sagitta]

Somehow I'm not suprised. Most parents don't say too much. :? :(

[Ian]

First and foremost, I'd like to say hello to all of you (very helpful) people.

I have a question that's been bugging me for a few weeks.

What exactly do girls expect in B&G? As in, how much response from the guy?

I don't have any actual experience in dancing (not to say that I don't want to. I'm interested in salsa) I'm 17, 6'5", a musician, and an athlete. So I'm in all right shape as far as rhythm and physicality go.

The only underage club in my area is completely hip hop, and I don't really feel like going through the hassle of getting into an over 21 club (though I have before) The place is packed and almost overflowing. Someone talked about "rent-a-tile" dancing...try half a tile. It's a fun place, the energy is through the roof. I've gone, oh, five or six times.

I'm pretty outgoing, so I get right into it. Last week, I was dancing with a very pretty girl, she about 5'5 - 5'7 So not too too small. She did this thing where she kind of slid down my front (her back to my front) to the beat. I wasn't sure whether or not to follow...suggestions? And other things along those lines. How much response is expected out of the guy?

[Genesius Redux]

Wow! What a fabulous thread! Filled with drama and suspense!



What exactly do girls expect in B&G? As in, how much response from the guy?

I don't have any actual experience in dancing (not to say that I don't want to. I'm interested in salsa) I'm 17, 6'5", a musician, and an athlete. So I'm in all right shape as far as rhythm and physicality go.

Hi Ian. What do girls expect? LOL! That depends on the girl, doesn't it? I think at the very least, they expect a complementary physical response, hips and hands. But be careful how you use the hands, slugger. If she's got her back to you, you might start out with your hands light on her hips. The point is to display her shape, not get a free feel! Most B&G that I've seen has the girl taking the lead (calling the shots in terms of what you're doing).

Salsa is very different--you need to know how to drive! And you need a partner who is responsive to*you.*



The only underage club in my area is completely hip hop, and I don't really feel like going through the hassle of getting into an over 21 club (though I have before) The place is packed and almost overflowing. Someone talked about "rent-a-tile" dancing...try half a tile. It's a fun place, the energy is through the roof. I've gone, oh, five or six times.

You know most places have hip hop classes. It's not an easy style, and you have to be willing to be outdone by a bunch of 9-12 year-old girls, but you'll definitely learn.



I'm pretty outgoing, so I get right into it. Last week, I was dancing with a very pretty girl, she about 5'5 - 5'7 So not too too small. She did this thing where she kind of slid down my front (her back to my front) to the beat. I wasn't sure whether or not to follow...suggestions? And other things along those lines. How much response is expected out of the guy?

Try using the hands again. Start with hands on her shoulders and then use them to trace her shape, moving down her arms and then her waist and then her hips. Follow her down by slowly bending your knees. Would that work?

As for the poster-formerly-known-as-suckeedancer, whom I shall refer to henceforth as DancingAdonis, here's the thing about close dancing. In a ballroom setting, there's something we call closed position. This is why you want to take ballroom lessons. Especially in tango--but you should look into learning a little bolero too. We'll all know that you've become hopelessly addicted to dancing, though, when you stop worrying about how to get closer and start looking at the girl as a prop--knowing that it's really all about you! (Which is why I'm suggesting tango and bolero!)

Cheers,

Genesius

[Sagitta]

What exactly do girls expect in B&G? As in, how much response from the guy?

Pardon my ignorance, but what does B&G stand for?

[Genesius Redux]

What exactly do girls expect in B&G? As in, how much response from the guy?

Pardon my ignorance, but what does B&G stand for?

I think, from the context, Bump and Grind, what Fenix and Adonis were originally asking about. Word must have gotten out that folks on the Dance Forum are always ready to help "a teenager in love."

Genesius

[pygmalion]

And we are! I think most of us have been (dancing) teenagers in love... at some point. 8) :D

[Sagitta]

A warm welcome to df Beagle!! :D Glad to have you with us! :) To dance seductively with a guy you don't need to bump-n-grind in my opinion. How you move your hips to the music only becomes important when you are in body contact with your dance partner. Then the issue isn't moving hips to the music, but moving your hips/body in synch with your partner. Expectations of what happens with a person if you bump-n-grind with them depends on why that person is out dancing in the first place. If the guy wants to "take someone home" then he is looking for any hint that you are interested in him and might read something into how you dance with him. If the guy only "bumps-n-grind" with those people he is interested in getting to know outside the dancing sphere the same expectation may be there. However, for someone like me, doing the bump-n-grind with a gal does not mean I think that there is more then then two of us enjoying a few minutes dancing together.

My 2 cents. :wink: :)

[Genesius Redux]

Hey there Beagle!

If the guy wants to "take someone home" then he is looking for any hint that you are interested in him and might read something into how you dance with him. If the guy only "bumps-n-grind" with those people he is interested in getting to know outside the dancing sphere the same expectation may be there. However, for someone like me, doing the bump-n-grind with a gal does not mean I think that there is more then then two of us enjoying a few minutes dancing together.

My 2 cents. :wink: :)

Ditto--dancing is dancing, IMO. You can tell how interested someone is off the floor--maybe give yourself entirely on the floor and see what happens when you're off. Also think about bringing some guy friends along who can rescue you if someone gets the wrong idea. I typically go out dancing with women friends, and on occasion I've had to go grab them for a couple of dances when they wanted to get out of a sticky social situation; I expect them to return the favor! If you dance with a lot of different people, that will make it very clear that you're in town for dancing, and nothing else.

[pygmalion]

Hello, I am new to this forum. I would like to know how to bump-n-grind...or just dance with a guy, seductively at a nightclub. Plus, does anyone know how I can learn to move my hips to the music? If a girl dances and grinds with a guy...are there any expectations..such as going home with him? Plus, at what point should I stop the grinding dance...before he may think that I want more?

Oh, my goodness. First, welcome to the forums, Beagle. 8) Then let me give your question some more thought, and I'll reply later in the morning, when I've had some sleep. My short answer is that dancing is dancing, and guys have no right to impose further expectations on you. However, it's not as simple as that. There are ways to give signals to guys, and unless you're very careul, they can easily become mixed signals that guys misread. Then you have a weird/unpleasant situation. I'll think about this more, then post more later.

[pygmalion]

Wow, Beagle. I almost forgot. So much for promises made at 2:00 AM. LOL.

Okay, here goes. Last DF post of the day. I actually thought about this a bit. Maybe others can add their wisdom as well.

If you don't want guys getting the impression you're available, here are my recommendations:

1. Don't drink, at least not much, and don't dance with anyone who is visibly impaired. Even a little booze, and inhibitions, yours and his, will be lowered. A recipe for trouble.

2. Maintain SOME distance. Grinding doesn't have to mean skin to skin (or clothes to clothes) contact. A few inches of space between you and him will cool things down considerably.

3. Be careful about "backing it up." You know what I mean. A crude expression, but there are reasons why guys like that your back to his front position. Because, in that position, you're blind to what he's doing, so you lose control of the situation. I try to stay face to face, unless I know my dance partner very well. It's easier to take a step back and out of harms way, when you're facing the guy.

4. I prefer to grind only with people I know well. My gay friends and my SO are always a good bet. Anybody else, and I'm very leery.

My two cents.

And, btw, welcome again. :D

[Genesius Redux]

Hey, what ever happened to fenixfrenzy and DancingAdonis? You guys still out there?

[Sagitta]

3. Be careful about "backing it up." You know what I mean. A crude expression, but there are reasons why guys like that your back to his front position. Because, in that position, you're blind to what he's doing, so you lose control of the situation. I try to stay face to face, unless I know my dance partner very well. It's easier to take a step back and out of harms way, when you're facing the guy.

4. I prefer to grind only with people I know well. My gay friends and my SO are always a good bet. Anybody else, and I'm very leery.


And I had had high hopes for those df "events" you were planning!! :(

And yes, I'll second GR. I'm curious to know how all you newbies out there are doing.

[pygmalion]

3. Be careful about "backing it up." You know what I mean. A crude expression, but there are reasons why guys like that your back to his front position. Because, in that position, you're blind to what he's doing, so you lose control of the situation. I try to stay face to face, unless I know my dance partner very well. It's easier to take a step back and out of harms way, when you're facing the guy.

4. I prefer to grind only with people I know well. My gay friends and my SO are always a good bet. Anybody else, and I'm very leery.


And I had had high hopes for those df "events" you were planning!! :(



Huh? Actually, I had in mind an early evening at a local ballroom venue, followed a late evening of dancing at a salsa club. What did you have in mind?

[Pacion]

:lol: you two are funny. I was wondering what happened to our young cygnets. I hope they are still finding time to practice :banana:

[pygmalion]

Somehow, I think they're practicing. Once you have the skill, why not use it? :wink:

[Sagitta]

:doh: And I was being serious!! :wink:

Actually I just wanted to go wild and crazy!! Come on a salsa club with a latin night? Some good bachata is being played...that's my favorite - into back to front through what is called a sweetheart/ cuddle move - and in all seriousness I try it out with almost anyone whom I can. If they don't like having their back to my front then I might try my back to their front. I have done that and got some suprised reactions. It's not something that I've seen many people do. Of course if a person is uncomfortable I back off. After all I'm a true gentleman! :)

[achilles]

well my situation fits the title of this thread perfectly... i really have no idea how to dance, the last time i tried was years ago. as a result i never really go to social functions anymore, but i realized how bad this is. so i need help learning how to do the dances that might be expected at a formal. please help!

[Genesius Redux]

Hi Achilles!

Your heroic name is already promising! :wink:

You might want to find an independent ballroom studio in your area, and see if you can take some basic lessons in a variety of social dances. You will find a number of threads here that deal with prices and beginner's experiences. I'll see if I can dig them up!

Genesius

[pygmalion]

Hi achilles. Welcome. 8)


I'll take a look around for pertinent threads, too. I'm assuming grinding probably isn't what you're looking for. LOL.

In the meantime, take a look at the beginning dancers' frequently asked questions at the top of the general dance forum.

Take care, and welcome to the forums. :D

[Genesius Redux]

Hi Achilles-

I brought back some of the topics about costs and start-up; you'll find them under Active Topics for a while (rather than tediously pasting them in this message).

Hope this helps!

Genesius

[achilles]

Hi Achilles-

I brought back some of the topics about costs and start-up; you'll find them under Active Topics for a while (rather than tediously pasting them in this message).

Hope this helps!

Genesius

Thanks very much!

At this point in my life I have an extremely busy schedule so it will be really hard to plan anything. I was wondering what kinds of things I might be able to do in front of a mirror or something just in my room, whenever I found some time.

[Sagitta]

Welcome to df Achilles! Moves to practice in front of a mirror? What sort of dance music they play at the social dances you want to go to. I guess that waltz, foxtrot, west coast, hustle would be the ones? Put on the music for these dances and see if you can move to the beat, making one step for each beat, or one step for every two beats, and recognize where each musical phrase begins. Being able to identify when to start and hitting the beats are two critical elments of dancing. You can then check out clips on the web etc and try to imitate what you see by carrying out the moves in front of the mirror.

[achilles]

What sort of dance music they play at the social dances you want to go to. I guess that waltz, foxtrot, west coast, hustle would be the ones?

Hmm not too sure. Whatever goes on at a college formal.




Put on the music for these dances and see if you can move to the beat, making one step for each beat, or one step for every two beats, and recognize where each musical phrase begins. Being able to identify when to start and hitting the beats are two critical elments of dancing. You can then check out clips on the web etc and try to imitate what you see by carrying out the moves in front of the mirror.

Any good vidoes of beginner steps I could look at?

Thanks!

[Genesius Redux]

What college dost thou mean, o son of Thetis?
Dost think a foxtrot would be right for thee?
Or wilt thou waltz across the wooden floor
In elegant array, while thy partner
Swishes her gown about her slender ankles?
Or wilt thou now in sensuous motion rock
Thy hips, like mighty millstones round about
Grinding, while still thy partner, more demure
With open midriff, sparkling now with bling bling
Catches the anxious eye of every swain
While to the beat her tender booty shakes?
Speak, o son of Thetis, the immortal gods
Await the answer of thy warlike dance!

When you say a college formal, what do you mean? Long gowns and that smooth big band or waltz music? Or cocktail dresses and light rock and roll and Latin music? Makes a difference!

[pygmalion]

I wouldn't spend a lot of time learning foxtrot for a college formal/socal dance. ... Unless the DJ likes Harry Connick Jr, you probably won't hear much at your standard dance. Learn a swing dance, a rumba, and maybe a waltz basic. Just my lowly opinion.

[Sagitta]

Any good vidoes of beginner steps I could look at?

Thanks!

Hi Achilles. You might want to try the link below...

Websites with free dance clips (http://www.dance-forums.com/viewtopic.php?t=2223)

[achilles]

Those were very informative. The most helpful one was on slow dancing, which is probably the majority of what would be going on.

[Sagitta]

Great! Glad to be of help. Keep us posted on your progress.

[newaudio]

I'm in high school and went to the club for the first time last weekend. At first, I just started dancing with myself and enjoying the music. But very quicky, I got asked to dance and didn't really know what to do. I figured out what "grinding" is pretty quicky. But a few questions on this type of dancing: Should a guy be doing anything beyond just standing there and swaying with her (when in that position)? What else can a guy do to make the dance better? When the girl moves towards the floor (not just her upper body but her whole body), should I follower her or just wait until she comes back up? When grinding front to front, where should her hands be? Should a guy be leading the front to front or what? How far should my feet be apart and where should they be?

Thanks, now some other questions. Beyond grinding, what other dances are there at a high school/college club? One final question, if I decide to approach a girl, can I just walk up behind her and start swaying or is that unacceptable (I did it with this one girl and it worked out)? How do girls like to be approached?

Any help I can get will be great! I know that is quite a few questions! So, Thanks.

[youngsta]

Man do you youngstas (pun intended) have a fascination with grinding! I'll drop a few tips this time. Mind you this is hard for me to describe since it's just instinctive for me.

First, stop thinking so much...react to her. At times you'll just feel like mirroring what she's doing (if she goes down towards the floor you can follow if you want, but if you're not very limber don't make yourself look like a fool!) Other times you'll want to move differently than she is (syncopated moves, instead of just swaying side to side break it up and down on the same side). Now if you've got rhythm and can do it smoothly (this is key! don't make yourself look foolish) you can pivot step around on beat until your back is to her and then break it down to the floor on her. Slowly go lower, pulsating with the bassline and make sure you're looking over your back at her. If you do it with rhythm the girls LOVE it! For the most part they're not used to guys turning the tables like that. And by all means, don't get all grabby on the girl. Just let your bodies naturally do there thing. There's enough contact in other places that grabbing is unecessary. If anything let your hands slightly brush up against her while dancing. Treat her with respect and trust me the connection on the dancefloor will be amazing and she'll remember you.

[MeShell987]

Ooook... I realize the date of this topic is old, but for chits and giggles... JJJust in case someone else is browsing thru and is in the same boat... here goes.

I came on here for two types of specific dances. Oddly enough, I don't suck at the "grind" on the dance floor at your typical nightclub.

Here is my advice...

Use a door.

Part your legs as DM had posted earlier and yes crouch, as if your ass is trying to sit on an imaginary chair (perhaps not that low, but as low as you feel relatively comfortable with). Now, for the door. Open the door. Holding onto the door knob as if it were his/her hips. Now grind your way down using the knob as "leverage". Kinda tacky I'm sure, but hey... it works.

[pygmalion]

Hi MeShell987. Welcome to the forums! :D

Your practice technique sounds really gross, but worth a try! LOL. Thanks. :D

[MeShell987]

Thanks so much PYGMALION. Yeah, I'm not sure it's as gross as it is... tacky... LOL. ...but it does work. Then again, I'm sure not many are coming on here learning to do lap dances! LOL :D

[newaudio]

Thanks, youngsta. Anybody else have any advice?
Later.

[OOPS]

Your getting some great advice! If it turns out you don't think you have it down by the dance, bandage your foot and go on crutches.

[SDsalsaguy]

Your getting some great advice! If it turns out you don't think you have it down by the dance, bandage your foot and go on crutches.
LOL... :lol:

...and welcome to the Dance Forums OOPS! :D

[DevilsBSD]

A bit offtopic, but whenever anyone talks about grinding, i automatically think 'sex with clothes on,' so this led me to recall a conversation i had with the principal of my high school. one of the parents had asked him at prom, "what do you consider 'dirty dancing'?", and his response was "well, when the guy has a glazed look on his face, and the girl is nowhere to be seen, then it's probably time to step in." :lol:

[pygmalion]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[newaudio]

any more advice? any experts in here?
also, what about the approach? most guys would just walk from behind the girl. what do you think of that?
thank you.

[MeShell987]

DEVILSBSD......... I'm literally LMAO! hahahahaha

[pygmalion]

any more advice? any experts in here?
also, what about the approach? most guys would just walk from behind the girl. what do you think of that?
thank you.

Walk from behind the girl? Huh?

[Genesius Redux]

What happened to Fenix and Dancing Adonis? You guys still here?

[needPROMhelp]

hey everyone....first like to say you guys did a great job on fenix and the other guy.

Now i need your guys' help too. :) i have my sr prom (May 28) in my high school coming up. Our dances are usually just freak dancing (grinding/things like that)....first you people should know this is my third dance. So i dont feel awkward to freak. BUT....im just average at it....not that great and not that bad. Anyways, ive always freak danced with girls with their back against my front. But after an hour it gets boring. And i have NO idea how to change to a front grinding style.

So i need help on that first. Like how do i initiate that? Then how do you grind front to front (wuts diff from back to front)?

Besides changing directions to face differently, do you people have any ideas on how to change a monotonous back to front grind? Small things preferable since i dont know salsa or all those other dances...an example is last dance the girl i went with held my hands and lifted while freaking back to front. anyways, hope everything made sense, and ill be checking the forum VERY often since dance is this coming friday so answers asap please. thx a lot everyone.

[Sagitta]

Welcome to df and please check all the threads in our club dancing thread. We've covered almost everything there....
Club dancing index (http://www.dance-forums.com/viewtopic.php?t=3089)

[needPROMhelp]

yea, i actually have tried looking at that index. But a lot of it is just too muuch info. so any tip with replies are welcome. thx.

[pygmalion]

Yes, all the info does get a bit overwhelming, doesn't it?

Welcome to the forums, btw.

I haven't done any griding in a while, but I honestly don't remember any trouble transitioning between positions. I'll have to ponder that.

And griding does get boring after while, so why not try club freestyling, which is described in one of the index threads? It takes up a little more space, and allows you do dance with a little more individuality.

[newaudio]

pygmalion-
by from the behind, i mean that when i'm at a dance club i notice several guys just walk up to a girl and grab her hips and start grinding or what not.

how can i make freestyle dancing feel natural? how can i know that i'm not making a fool of myself?

how do girls like to be approached in the club?
if grinding gets borning, what else is there to do? how can i mix it up?
maybe these questions are stupid. but i'm new to all this.
thanks.

[pygmalion]

Yup. I understand about the back to front thing, newaudio. Hmm. How do I put this? The guys you've seen walking up to a girl, grabbing her hips, and starting to dance? They're just rude. Some girls put up with that kind of stuff, but many don't. It's that kind of "in da club" nonsense that makes other types of dancers think grinding is gross. No matter what kind of dancing you're planning to do, it's common courtesy to ask the girl to dance. Sheesh! Just ask. You'd be surprised how many brownie points you'll earn, just for being polite.

And about freestyling? The only way to look stupid is to be overly self-conscious. So my recommendation is to just listen to music and dance. Dance around the house, in your car, everywhere you can think of, until it starts feeling natural. When it feels natural, it looks just fine. That's the cool thing about club freestyling. There are no steps, per se, so it's impossible to do it wrong.

One of the studios I used to attend had a "club freestyling" class that they'd run every month or two. Basically, they just went through a couple ideas of things you can do in a club that won't look or feel too conspicuous, while you learn to get comfortable. That's the best thing you can do to just get started, I think. Pick two or three moves that you can do, feel coordinated, and hold a drink in your hand while you're doing 'em. (Just kidding about the drink. Leave your drink at the table. LOL.) Pick a couple moves you like, and don't worry too much about variety at first. Two or three moves is plenty to get you through the whole evening.

Hmm. Check out bustamove.com. There are some basic walks and tap-steps and such, there, that can be used in club freestyling. Stick with the basics at first, and you'll be just fine. :wink: 8)

[MeShell987]

I have to tell you... unless I knew you... if you came up behind me and started to dance/grind on me.... you'd get an earful and end up publicly humiliated.

[newaudio]

i don't know. i'll be honest, i did some of that. the girls just looked back and would just smile. i didn't get rejected and i didn't notice anyone else get any resentment to this method of dancing without asking. does it depend on the club? the club i go to is mostly older high school students and younger college students.

what about non-verbal ways to ask? can any of that work? any advice on asking for a dance from a girl in a group of friends (with most of the girls dancing without a male partner)? i'm still new to clubbing and i'm having a great time every time i go but i want to make sure i understand everything.

[pygmalion]

Hmm. Not that I'm recommending public humilation, mind you, but asking is still the "right" way to do it, in most circles. Although, if you can read body language, have fun. Just don't be surprised if not every girl you meet is entirely happy with the "grind from behind" without asking. I'm not sure that the age of the crowd is the only factor in how the asking is done, but it might be one. You may be right.

Yes, there are all sorts of non-verbal ways to ask for a dance. They work best with me when I know the guy who's beckoing, or nodding, or whatever. But there are non-verbals you can use.

[Nova]

hey,
ive been reading this topic...the whole thing actually, mainly because, well...this is me, the guy who absolutely cannot dance...instead of just having too left feet i might as well have no feet at all...thats how bad it is. Even after reading the bulk of this topic, trying out all the advice, etc, i still feel like a huge tool while doing it...i dont really know what more to say, and seeing as how this topic is really massive, and you all probably do not have any more advice to give, ill prolly just end up SOL...but ill giver a shot anyway...

[pygmalion]

You can do it, Nova. I bet you'll surprise yourself. 8)

Welcome. :D

[Nova]

...u put far too much faith in me...but ill suppose ill find out tonight at yet another school dance...

(thx for the welcome)

[DWise1]

hey,
ive been reading this topic...the whole thing actually, mainly because, well...this is me, the guy who absolutely cannot dance...instead of just having too left feet i might as well have no feet at all...thats how bad it is. Even after reading the bulk of this topic, trying out all the advice, etc, i still feel like a huge tool while doing it...i dont really know what more to say, and seeing as how this topic is really massive, and you all probably do not have any more advice to give, ill prolly just end up SOL...but ill giver a shot anyway...
Hey, I was in your boat for 48 years. Nearly four years later I'm still learning (I'll never be satisfied with myself), but in every class I've taken I very quickly become one of the women's favorite partners and when dancing socially the women who have danced with me before often seek me out -- and both in class and on the dance floor more than half of those women are 20-30 years younger than I am, so we're talking about their opinion of my dancing.

All it really takes is perserverence and the desire to learn to dance. You'll get frustrated very often -- everybody does. If you cannot hear the beat in the music, with time and practice you will -- it took me about 1-1/2 years to feel confident that I was hearing and following the beat.

So, Nova, when we tell you that, yes you can do it, we know what we are talking about because we have been there before ourselves.


And a little something about "two left feet" that our Lindy instructor said last week to the beginning class: the main reason for that is that you are not taking the steps. A "step" in dance means that you have transfered your weight to that foot. On 1, Guys step on their left. That means that before 1 their weight was on their right foot and their left foot was free. Now after 1 their weight is on their left and their right foot is free. If they don't commit their weight to the foot that their stepping on, then that will throw them off and they'll get confused and not be able to tell their left foot from their right.

Another instructor explained why her dog is not allowed on the dance floor: he has two left feet.

Also, try to learn a new step and practice as much as you can before trying it socially. The dance floor can be a very stressful and scary situation to learn in; since the thinking part of the brain tends to shut down in such situations, you'll be in no condition to learn anything. I've relied heavily on classes to prepare for the dance floor.

And don't be afraid to try to learn other dances as well. Not only will it afford you more opportunities to dance socially, but many of the skills you learn can be applied to your other dances as well, besides which it will increase your confidence.

Oh! And don't think that everybody's watching you screw up out there. They're too busy watching the really cool-looking dancers.

---------------------
A few exerpts from Dizzy Gillespie's "Dizzy's Desiderata" (recently recommended on this forum in another thread):
2. As far as possible, without risk of personal injury, accept all invitations to dance.
4. Dance your moves with style and grace; observe other dancers, even the clumsy and arrhythmic; they can serve as negative examples.
6. If you compare yourself with others, you may become frustrated or overconfident, for always there will be greater and lesser dancers than yourself.
8. Keep interested in the basics, they are the fount of all innovation.
12. Strive always to develop your own style.
13. Especially remember that you can't fake skill; great skill is often manifested in a simple and elegant style.
14. Neither be easily discouraged for skill only comes with diligence.
16. Nurture skill in several dances to provide you options on contra nights at Glen Echo.
17. Nurture skill in several dances so you can go dancing and still avoid your ex.
18. Do not distress yourself over the accuracy of your feelings of inadequacy; you are that bad -- just work on it.
20. You are a child of the rhythm no less than the planets and the stars; stay within the pocket.
21. And whether or not the rhythm is in your soul, the music does have a beat. Therefore be on time with the music and your partner, even if you have to count.
22. And whatever your natural talent and intentions, in the noisy confusion of the dance, keep your eye on your partner.
23. With all the hamstring pulls, shin splints and occasional bruises, the dance is still beautiful.
24. Smile.
25. Strive to hear the one.

[Nova]

Hmm, well that sounds like a lot of good advice, and learning how to dance (mainly for social purposes like at parties, bars, etc) is something that i think would be extremely worthwhile...ive thought about taking dance classes but everywhere i look its only things like, tap, jazz, ballet, polka, etc...dont exactly wish to learn any of those kinds..

and as far as learning other dances, i know a little bit of jive but its not like that will ever get used out of ne any time soon

[Sagitta]

Every little bit helps. As a dancing generalist I've discovered that to be true. It coud be learning to identify when to move, how to listen to the music. It could be learning a move such as a turn and by learning this learning how you can communicate with your partner. It could be as Dwise said, learning how to move your body and not just your feet.

What jive have you learnt? You should try and think of it in terms of what you can translate into the dances you are interested in.

[pygmalion]

If you know jive, Nova, then how about trying one of the less energetic swing dances, like jitterbug, for example? That one's not too difficult, but will build on what you already know. 8)

And, DWise1, you constantly reinforce my belief that you are a sage. Wonderful post, as usual. :D 8)

[DWise1]

And, DWise1, you constantly reinforce my belief that you are a sage. Wonderful post, as usual. :D 8)
Well, being Wise does run in the family. Guess you might say I got it from my father. (pun fully intended)

And thank you for the compliment. I'm just trying to learn and I have so much catching up to do. Makes me glad to see young folk not putting it off for as long as I had -- they're showing more wisdom than I had. I had just accepted everybody's judgement that I simply could not learn to dance and only now I've learned that wasn't at all true. In one of my Cubmaster's minutes I told the boys that the most powerful words there are that come true every time are "I cannot do it," because when you do say those words and believe it, then you cannot do it. That is why we must never say those words, but rather we must always do our best (Cub Scout Motto or Slogan; it's been so long). If we keep trying despite the inevitable immediate failures, we will truly amaze ourselves with what we can accomplish.

Next week, I'm seriously consi