Dating and Dancing

[sheepgotoheaven]

Hey all,
I'll get straight to the point... Is it a wise move to date any of the people you dance with? I can speculate on the consequences of doing so, I'm just wondering what people's experiences with the matter are.

[fascination]

welcome...we have tons of old threads on this that you might want to use the search function for...beyond that, understand two things.....1)if it goes bad you will have trouble maintaining the dancing part of the relationship...2) the hard work of dance improvement can either be complicated or improved by the affection that two persons have for one another...in short, a risky proposition the specifics of which only you can determine

[jwlinson]

I've seen this go both ways. I've seen people meet on the dance floor, start dating, and end up being happily married and still dancing. I've also seen them meet, start dating, break up, then quit dancing altogether. It definitely makes things awkward for the two.

Like anything else, strongly weigh the pros and cons.

[etp777]

Clearly, this question depends on how cute she is. ;)

But in seriousness, it can be good, can be REALLY bad, but we've ahd some good discussions of this in other threads, so well worth searching for the previous threads. You'll get some good advice from some people who are a lot more successful at datin gthan I am. :)

[sheepgotoheaven]

Hey, thanks. Is there any easy way to search this forum for the previous threads you've spoken of?

[sheepgotoheaven]

Nevermind found it. The Search Button on the top hehe

[Backstreet]

Personally, I'd say don't restrict yourself. (Maybe you could meet your soul mate) -- Things only get awkward if you let them become awkward. If it doesn't work out, you can still have fun.

[reb]

Personally, I'd say don't restrict yourself. (Maybe you could meet your soul mate) -- Things only get awkward if you let them become awkward. If it doesn't work out, you can still have fun.
Good advice on soul mate - and add - remember to learn as much as you can about the person and . . . don't plan on changing them.

[meow]

There are many people who have met whilst dancing together and then ended up married. But there are, IME, far more that, when the relationship ends so does the dance partnership, especially in the younger set.
It is an individual thing but it is always a risk. Lots of time is spent together having lessons and training. Add that to being together romantically and you can sometimes 'burn out' of each other. IMHO, it is better to keep your dance life separate from you private life BUT over a long period of time dancing together a romantic relationship may well develop that will last along with the dance partnership. I guess that I have seen too many start dancing together and get romantically involved really quickly - and then things tend to fall apart.

[sheepgotoheaven]

Alright.. Let me explain the situation to you guys. This girl and I have been dancing since about the middle of summer. We've been really close friends during this time. We both are in the same group of dance friends too.

I really like her, and she really likes me (I have been paying attention to the signs and know this for a fact). Frankly... I've been paralyzed on whether or not to ask her on a date. If things were to go sour, It would drastically affect the dancing relationship and the relationship I have with my group of friends. (Which would be horrible!)

On the other hand, I've been single for a really really long time lol.

Please tell me what you guys think! :confused: I don't have too much time before I'm eternally placed in the "Friends Zone" by her.

[etp777]

I say go for it. If you don't, you'll always regret it, wondering what might have been. And even if it doesn't work out,t hat doesn't mean you're going to somehow automatically ruin everything in that group of friends, or even just between the two of you. My absolute best friend in the world (and I can say that since I'm on other side of the world now ;) ) is one of my exgirlfriends. I not only broke up with her, but screwed things up rather badly and hurt her in the process (definitely not my proudest moment). But we're still dear friends, and I'm even planning to see her during my vacation in July, even though it requires 4 extra flights, including one that leaves at the ungodly hour of 5:50am. :) So go for it

[elisedance]

Welcome to the list SGTH!

As mentioned there are a bunch of threads on this but really when it comes down to it the human mating instinct is so strong that if you are going to have a relationship its going to happen whether or not 'its a good idea'. How many people actually say 'I fell in love with my partner, she fell in love with me but we decided not to have a relationship because it was a bad idea for our dancing'. And then they clasp each other for the ritual embrace that is dance and live happily and platonically ever after?

Doesn't happen - and if it did I would wonder about a) the sincerity of couples attraction to each other or, b) their sanity. :)

If you have met the love of your life then you have to follow your own heart on how you proceed. Your deicision (to the extent you have one) is really whether this relationship is about someone you may love (which, dare I say it, is more important than your dance relationship) or whether this is about a passing affection. If the latter then maybe you can and should look elsewhere for amusement. For most people dance partners/social groups are very hard to find - we often joke about them being harder to find than life partners (which may be true - but soul partners, probably not).

What it comes down to in my mind is establishing the relative value of each relationship and how much you would loose if any of them either broke up or did not come to pass.

Good luck - you are fortunate to have such choices! But don't blow it...

[fascination]

Alright.. Let me explain the situation to you guys. This girl and I have been dancing since about the middle of summer. We've been really close friends during this time. We both are in the same group of dance friends too.

I really like her, and she really likes me (I have been paying attention to the signs and know this for a fact). Frankly... I've been paralyzed on whether or not to ask her on a date. If things were to go sour, It would drastically affect the dancing relationship and the relationship I have with my group of friends. (Which would be horrible!)

On the other hand, I've been single for a really really long time lol.

Please tell me what you guys think! :confused: I don't have too much time before I'm eternally placed in the "Friends Zone" by her.well...here's the thing...if you are friends and you handle any potential break up also like friends...then it won't really matter...make the friendship paramount over the romance that way if the romance fizzles, despite some pain, the friendship can triupmh...one needn't neccessarily lose both...its a matter of civility over emotion imo...I say go for it...life is to short to miss an opportunity to love

[Sabor]

Hey all,
I'll get straight to the point... Is it a wise move to date any of the people you dance with? I can speculate on the consequences of doing so, I'm just wondering what people's experiences with the matter are.

depends .. if they love dancing with u .. they'll keep on dancing with u

[DancePoet]

Hey all,
I'll get straight to the point... Is it a wise move to date any of the people you dance with? I can speculate on the consequences of doing so, I'm just wondering what people's experiences with the matter are.
To date or not to date another dancer, that is the question.

Probably depends.

Get to know the person first. It likely helps if you both have other similarities and interests to share beyond dancing. Take your time interacting and learning about the other person, and discover if there are other things that you like where dates can be done outside the dancing communities.

My current SO and I met through dancing. We'd see each other at social dances, socialize, started driving to other social dances together, and having conversations on the ride. Eventually I asked her out on a non-dancing date first that revolved around a couple of other things that we both liked. All very low key interactions that gave us the opportunity to get to know each other before bringing ourselves to something more intimate.

Also, we kept our relationship quiet from the dance community for quite awhile. This enabled us to avoid the gossipy stuff that sometimes can occur, and provided us with an opportunity to see if we could develop a healthy relationship before bringing it into the relationships we had in the dance world.

[DancePoet]

welcome...we have tons of old threads on this that you might want to use the search function for...beyond that, understand two things.....1)if it goes bad you will have trouble maintaining the dancing part of the relationship...2) the hard work of dance improvement can either be complicated or improved by the affection that two persons have for one another...in short, a risky proposition the specifics of which only you can determine
Good observations. This is why the relationshp itself needs to be founded on deeper values, and not just dance. :cool:

[DancePoet]

I've seen this go both ways. I've seen people meet on the dance floor, start dating, and end up being happily married and still dancing. I've also seen them meet, start dating, break up, then quit dancing altogether. It definitely makes things awkward for the two.

Like anything else, strongly weigh the pros and cons.
Things can work if each individual has a strong grasp of who they individually are, and if the two people are compatible after having a solid self understanding first, then things could be ok. Also, one of the key things to having it work out is whether or not the couple has a healthy process for resolving differences that will eventually arise.

[DancePoet]

As mentioned there are a bunch of threads on this but really when it comes down to it the human mating instinct is so strong that if you are going to have a relationship its going to happen whether or not 'its a good idea'. How many people actually say 'I fell in love with my partner, she fell in love with me but we decided not to have a relationship because it was a bad idea for our dancing'. And then they clasp each other for the ritual embrace that is dance and live happily and platonically ever after?
Isn't that the truth. :lol:

[Mostly Ballroom]

Great stuff elisedance!!

[Gypsy Wishing]

Much less scary than a date is a casual dance meet-up, you say, "excuse me magnificent lady, next Friday, I'm going out to the Fill in the Blank club, if you were to accidentally drop by, we'd both have a partner.

[elisedance]

Much less scary than a date is a casual dance meet-up, you say, "excuse me magnificent lady, next Friday, I'm going out to the Fill in the Blank club, if you were to accidentally drop by, we'd both have a partner.

Great. Tell me where the 'Fill In The Blnak club' is and I'm there. :roll:

[DancePoet]

Much less scary than a date is a casual dance meet-up, you say, "excuse me magnificent lady, next Friday, I'm going out to the Fill in the Blank club, if you were to accidentally drop by, we'd both have a partner.I'd still get to know her well before trying this. ;)

[sheepgotoheaven]

Just wanted to thank you all. Mustered up the courage to ask her out on V-day and she said yes :). You all gave some really good advice, and I'm not sure I would've even asked her if it wasn't for the forum. Thanks again!

[fascination]

excellent...congrats

[elisedance]

Just wanted to thank you all. Mustered up the courage to ask her out on V-day and she said yes :). You all gave some really good advice, and I'm not sure I would've even asked her if it wasn't for the forum. Thanks again!

Awesome. What a perfect DF V-day story!!

Signed: The DF Dating Advice Department :cool::)

[jenniegirl]

i have found my other half while learning to dance and we have been dancing together for nearly 2 years now. but gotta admit, the quarrels get pretty bad sometimes and that affects our dancing greatly. so, gotta watch who u are dating i think.. hees.