When really good partnerships split up.

[WaltzElf]

I’m certain I am not the only one to have this happen. For the last year I’ve built up the most wonderful partnership with a really lovely girl. We’ve been through really tough times (including a month where we literally did not talk to one another a single word, though we still danced), but came through those so strongly.

The last few months have been the best of my dancing life, cumulating in the photo shoot I mentioned in the other thread, which is easily the best fun I’ve ever had. We ended up being the kind of dance partnership that was socially active outside of dance.

Unfortunately now she’s gone to England, perhaps indefinately. With good reason, she’s 20 and has the opportunity. I can’t at this stage do the same.

We said our goodbyes yesterday. I’ve had partners I’ve split up with on unfriendly terms before, but his bittersweet ending is worse, I think.

She might be back, but I can’t assume that, so, my teacher being the wonderful teacher she is, has made me focus right back on my dancing by having me start with a new girl. Who is an incredible dancer. She’s opens level. Which makes me opens level now.


But I’m going to really miss my old partner I think. I did the silly thing of falling for my partner.



So does anyone else have similar stories of partnerships that have ended on painfully high notes?

[SwingWaltz]

Sorry to hear that, it is really sad. Well young people finding romance through dancing is quite normal, I myself was in your shoe a year ago. I was 19 back then and my partner the was 20, she moved down from another city to study. We met at a social dance, and somehow it just clicked, more so personality than dancing. We ended up spending more time being social than training, we would go to each other's place for BBQ, swimming, tennis, I'd take her around town just to show her around cause she's new to the city. We were virtually dating (no kisses yet, but pretty close). However her university can not continue her enrollment, so she had to move back to her city. Which ended our 4 month of wonderful time together, dancing and as friends. Sad but things like these do happen, we are still young, look on the bright side and one day you will find another girl just like her. For now, at least you have a great partner to dance with, similar for me, my current partner is 2 levels higher than me.

[SwingWaltz]

I did the silly thing of falling for my partner.

I don't think it's silly, I've fallen for my partner and I would do it again if it happens. Just make sure that if you do happen to break up one day, try not to do it on really bad terms, as with any relationship, try to stay as friends. Just that the dancing circle sometimes gets very close and everyone knows what's going around.

[WaltzElf]

Hey a fellow Aussie and a New Vogue fan! Awesome. (New Vogue’s the one we could quite easily be dancing Open Amateur at the end of the year).

My... well, ex partner and I pretty much stopped training as soon as the decision for her to go to England was made. That was... 3 months ago. Pretty much like you we’ve been messing around in group classes, doing things more for fun than anything in private lessons, and working on the photo shoot. We went to some events together, watched videos, had dinner with our respective families.

Last thing we did together is the photo shoot. And those memories are going to be precious beyond belief because it was also easily the most fun we’ve had together, and we came away from it with a deeper connection than we’d had before.

It calmed us down a bit too. Before the shoot, we were finding conversation a little difficult. Her excitement about her trip aside, there were things that we wanted to say but couldn’t. We said them without vocalising them at the shoot, and the goodbyes were calm then.

She might come back if she doesn’t enjoy England. I hope so, because she knows I’ll come back to the partnership in a heartbeat. But if not, my new partner is, herself a gorgeous person, an amazing dancer and I can’t ask for more than that.

[WaltzElf]

I don't think it's silly, I've fallen for my partner and I would do it again if it happens. Just make sure that if you do happen to break up one day, try not to do it on really bad terms, as with any relationship, try to stay as friends. Just that the dancing circle sometimes gets very close and everyone knows what's going around.


Oh it was silly. I’ve always had every intention on keeping my dance partner separate to my romantic partner, for the simple reason that it’s putting too many eggs in one basket if things go belly up.

This girl was irresistable though.

[SwingWaltz]

New Vogue’s the one we could quite easily be dancing Open Amateur at the end of the year

Mmmmm.....this is all starting to sound like a couple I know. Ha

[WaltzElf]

Mmmmm.....this is all starting to sound like a couple I know. Ha

Luckily I’m Sydney based, so we don’t know one another almost certainally ;-)

[Easy]

I'm sorry, but I thought the photo shoot was for upcoming shows or promotions. Why spend the time and money if you knew this was coming?

Sorry to hear it end for you. Hopefully you'll find another partner and continue growing.

[WaltzElf]

I'm sorry, but I thought the photo shoot was for upcoming shows or promotions. Why spend the time and money if you knew this was coming?

Sorry to hear it end for you. Hopefully you'll find another partner and continue growing.


Can still use them myself. If she does come back they can serve that function too.

Basically though, it was an idea we had as something fun to do, and why not try and get additional benefit out of it while we're at it?

[fire_dancer]

First of all.. big *hugs* to you for what you're going through.

Second, I could only advise you to make sure to keep in touch frequently with her. While it doesn't sound so hard right now, time (and life) always makes it difficult to talk long distance. Life has a funny way of working things out... who knows? She may be back before too long. :)

[madmaximus]

I don't know...

If I fell for a girl WORTH falling for (and I know she's interested in me too), a measly distance of 17,000 kilometers or so wouldn't stop me from being with her--no matter what hurdles fate might throw at me.

I've done it before and I'd do it again.





m

[elisedance]

WE - bitter sweet story and I feel for you, both on a personal and partnership level. Do stay in contact though - I know its quite common for Autralian (continent) youngsters to spend some time in Europe and who knows maybe you too will make the trip.

I actually dread losing my partner - just because it was so hard to find one in the first place. It gets harder when you are older and harder still for the followers. In fact, I wonder if I could carry on dancing.

As we've discussed before, its just as hard to decide not to fall for someone as to do the opposite (too many have tried that in bad marriages!!), the natural urge to 'couple' just happens so don't beat yourself up on it - and don't think you can prevent it from happening again!

[Nik]

aWhen I was 16 I had a partner that I really liked and then she had to leave for reasons beyond our control. I was heartbroken for some time but then got a new partner and just kept going.

Although you must not forget her and stay in touch, you should still try it out with your new partner and make the best of it.

[elisedance]

I wish I could find a partner, small towns suck. The best I can do here is someone almost twice my age. So, I dance with my instructor and do privates. I've tried a few different partnerships but either, not enough devotion or it would of slowed my learning down too much. I usually let my instructor decide that one for me. If I finally did find a partner that was devoted like me in this small town. I would try my hardest not to form a relationship and fall for her, because, I would fear losing her as a partner or things getting weird, and I want so much to be a great dancer to take the chance.

Hi Eternal888 - welcome to DF. I think people here agree that thats the best attitude for sure - though even with the best one it can still happen. I admire your dedication - I take it you are a younger dancer? Sounds like you see dancing as a career possibility. Maybe you should try the older dancer for a while - if she's good you will continue to improve even if you don't feel comfortable competing with her. I don't know what level you are at but one possibility is to try to find a very talented girl who is interested in starting out - unless you have a really large dance population many (nearly half ;)) of us make some sort of sacrifice as its usually the case that one or the other is more advanced.

[WaltzElf]

Yeah, we're definately going to stay in touch - Facebook's a wonderful invention.

And I know this new partnership's going to work - our teacher's beeing sizing the new girl and me up for a while now, since her last partner disappeared, and when my ex and I nearly split (which in hindsight was us both coming to terms with their being more than a dance-focused relationship between us).

Two lessons/ practices in and the new partner feels really nice to dance with. I do really hope the ex comes back. Dancing partner or otherwise.

[SwingWaltz]

Facebook's a wonderful invention.
Well said. I love Facebook, well still trying to get my partner to join Facebook. I do keep contact with my ex partners on Facebook and dare I say that we all split on good terms (either moved to a different city, went off to focus on different styles, I dropped latin and just want to do Std and NV)

Two lessons/ practices in and the new partner feels really nice to dance with.
Sounds great! Mind me asking, what level and style are you guys dancing? How long you been dancing for? I've been with my partner for about 2 month now and things are going great. Both of us had a near 6 month break since we last danced, so it took a while for things to flow again, but now it's great. We had to chop off half our routine just to fit the floor cause we are covering the floor much better now.

Maybe you should try the older dancer for a while
All my partners has been older for me, from just a few month older to my current partner who is 10 years older than me. We all get along great. I especially love playing Wii with my partner's kid. LoL

[WaltzElf]

Well said. I love Facebook, well still trying to get my partner to join Facebook. I do keep contact with my ex partners on Facebook and dare I say that we all split on good terms (either moved to a different city, went off to focus on different styles, I dropped latin and just want to do Std and NV)

This is the first partnership that I've cared about outside of dance, so it's a new experience for me. Like I said, in may ways it's easier to split with partners on bad terms, I think. At least then it's over with no lingering feelings of loss.

Sounds great! Mind me asking, what level and style are you guys dancing? How long you been dancing for? I've been with my partner for about 2 month now and things are going great. Both of us had a near 6 month break since we last danced, so it took a while for things to flow again, but now it's great. We had to chop off half our routine just to fit the floor cause we are covering the floor much better now.

Level 2 Standard, Level 3/ Opens New Vogue and eventually level 3 Latin (her level, I'm nowhere near that standard yet. Latin's my weak point). Reasonably confident about our first comp, given we're getting through our entirely new routines after 4 hours practice together (although we are reusing bits and pieces from previous routines).

Of course it helps when you're dancing with a girl who's been doing classical ballet since she was 3, and has a wealth of experience in just about everything.

[SwingWaltz]

Level 2 Standard, Level 3/ Opens New Vogue and eventually level 3 Latin (her level, I'm nowhere near that standard yet. Latin's my weak point)

Good chance that we might be competing against each other sometime in the future. LoL We are level 2 standard and New Vogue, don't do Latin. Having said this, does not mean I am a level 2 dancer. My partner is, she is wonderful in fact. But I only did 4 month of level 1 last year, then 6 month break cause of Uni + Work. Things are coming along nicely though.

Good luck with new partnership and 2008 comp season!

[latingal]

I wish I could find a partner, small towns suck. The best I can do here is someone almost twice my age.

Watch it bucko...I resemble that remark! *grin*

[elisedance]

Watch it bucko...I resemble that remark! *grin*

ditto. Oh, I really mean ditto :rolleyes:

[ThisIsNotMe]

Eternal888 - I feel your pain. I dance at the only studio within an hour of me (and it's only just within an hour), and there is next to no chance of my finding a partner (or advancing my dancing much further, if I'm honest with myself) unless I travel musch further. I kinda hate living in a small town. I can't even really dance with my instructor, given that she's female and several inches shorter than I am.

And hello to SwingWaltz and WaltzElf - I love finding fellow Aussies, especially when they dance NV. I'm definitely not as advanced as either of you, but love my dancing (NV particularly).

[SwingWaltz]

Hello ThisIsNotMe, nice too meet another Aussie too. There are a few of us here, and all pretty active. Dancing is not about how advanced you are, it's about how much it is in your heart. I am by no means advanced, but I love it, especially New Vogue too (hence my user name lol)

And for everyone, don't be afraid to dance with someone older/younger or shorter/taller. My partner is significantly older than I am and same height as me. We have so much fun together and our dancing is improving every week.

[WaltzElf]

After having another lesson with the new partner, we've got full choreography for both Waltz and Quickstep, and though it's nowhere near refined to comp standard, we get through it.


This is a good dancing partnership. That much is certain already.



And yeah, scratch New Vogue up as the favourite of mine too. It just feels so graceful and elegant when done right with a good partner.

[elisedance]

And yeah, scratch New Vogue up as the favourite of mine too. It just feels so graceful and elegant when done right with a good partner.

I'm going to have to visit Australia. Actually, its a real possibility a friend just moved there as a prof...

[SwingWaltz]

Elisedance, have a look at these photos. They are from the 2006 Australian Championships.

http://www.dancesportphoto.net/2006%5Faustralians/sun/pro%5Fnv%5Ffinal/

Photos in this folder are from the finals of professional new vogue.

Browse around the site http://www.dancesportphoto.net/ for other photos from various competitions in Australia.

[etp777]

Sounds like a good start, WE. Congrats. :)