Too much Grinding?

[Canadian Guy]

Saw a small AP news item from the wire and start to look for details. This is what I could find. From Bend, Oregon. It remained me of the this http://www.dance-forums.com/viewtopic.php?t=2527

I hope we didn't cause any trouble :twisted:



Event shut down for risque dancing

Published: March 16, 2004

By Julia Lyon

The Bulletin

When students kept dancing close enough for their hips to kiss at Bend High School's Sadie Hawkins dance Saturday night, fed-up school administrators shut the dance down.

It was about 10 p.m. The room was dark, the music pounding. And some of the students were dancing dirty.

"Quite honestly it's like having sex with your clothes on," said Mary McDermott, a teacher and the school's activities director, describing the style of dancing.

The school ended the dance an hour early after giving what they believe was fair warning to the hundreds of students Saturday night. The signs on the doors said it plainly: No freak dancing and no grinding. School officials reminded students about the rules in an announcement during the dance.

What many students don't understand, they said Monday, is what made that night or that dance any different.

In their experience, bodies entwine and chests meet when teens get footloose on the dance floor.

"There's no other way to dance besides being up against the other person," said Mat Baker, 17, a senior. "It's just the way people dance these days."

Students were angry, Baker said, particularly since many paid up to $10 to come to the dance, only to get kicked out. The way he sees it, the teenagers were doing the same kind of things they see in movies.

"There were no clothes coming off or anything," Baker said.

But the school had heard enough complaints from parents and the community about what they term inappropriate dancing, McDermott said. Administrators decided to draw the line on some kinds of dancing — even if many students danced in a perfectly acceptable way.

"At some point you have to take a stand and send a message to the kids and say this is not OK," said Marshall Jackson, an assistant principal.

In the last several years, he said, Jackson has seen dancing go "over the edge" in its sexual nature — whether students intend it to be that way or not. Some parents who have glimpsed the behavior have told the school they are shocked, school officials say.

This doesn't appear to be something unique to Bend High. Last week, activities directors from Bend-La Pine high schools discussed what to do about the sexually charged dancing style showing up at school dances.

And Jackson says it's not only adults who are uncomfortable with what's going on.

"We have heard from some kids they don't like it," he said.

Some students thanked him Monday for putting a halt to the dance, Jackson said.

In the week before the dance, the school had warned students over the public announcements that freak dancing or grinding would not be permitted.

Freak dancing, a term many students said was new to them, is used by school administrators to describe dancing that is sexual in nature.

At the dance itself, Jackson announced that inappropriate dancing wouldn't be tolerated, people doing it would be asked to leave and that the dance would be shut down if the inappropriate dancing continued.

By the end of the night but before the dance was shut down, about 10 to 15 couples had been asked to leave, Jackson said.

"There were some people who were really gross, really nasty, who they should have kicked out, and they did," said Christina Case, 17, a junior. "You couldn't put a toothpick between them."

The irony of it all, some students said, was that this dance was actually more "PG" than other dances.

"At Bermuda Bash you're pretty much half-naked and at this you're fully clothed," Case said, referring to a January dance at which some students wear bikini tops.

New rules about what students can and can't do might keep people away from dances, said Katy Sieberts, 15, a sophomore.

"I think the parents overreacted," she said. "I think the parents think it's a lot worse than it is."

McDermott, the activities director, who has been at Bend High for 19 years, said she's seen dancing change in the last four to five years. MTV and certain movies have set the tone, and students believe the things they see are acceptable to imitate, she said.

Yet sexuality isn't absent from the schools. The school runs a fund-raiser for the Ronald McDonald House in which male student contestants compete for Mr. BSH (Bend Senior High). In this year's advertisement, shirtless male teenagers pose as pirates.

McDermott agreed that students might be getting mixed messages. But when it comes to inappropriate dancing, it doesn't matter what students are wearing.

"When they are purposely rubbing their body parts together, that's where we have to draw the line," she said. "Because it's not acceptable."


Julia Lyon can be reached at 541-617-7831 or at jlyon@bendbulletin.com.[/url] :wink:

[jon]

Well, ya got trouble (http://www.guntheranderson.com/v/data/yagottro.htm), my friend
Right here, I say trouble right here in River City...er Bend
Oh, ya got lots and lots o' trouble
I'm thinkin' of the kids in the knickerbockers shirttails,
Young ones peekin' in the dance hall window after school
Ya got trouble, folks, right here in Bend
With a capital 'T' and that rhymes with 'D' and that
Stands for 'dancing'

Now I know all you folks are the right kind of parents
I'm gonna be perfectly frank
Would you like to know what kind of conversation goes on
While they're loafin' around that hall
They'll be tryin' out Bevo, tryin' out Cubebs,
Tryin' out tailor-mades like cigarette fiends
And braggin' all about how they're gonna cover up
A tell-tale breath with Sen-Sen
Now one fine night they leave the pool hall
Headin' for the dance at the Armory
Libertine men and scarlet women and ragtime
Shameless music that'll grab your son, your daughter
Into the arms of a jungle animal instinct- massteria!
Friends, the idle brain is the devil's playground, trouble!

[Christina75]

LOL! love it!

Christina

[Genesius Redux]

ROTLFMAO!!!!!

At this school, boys and girls, we only do the white man's overbite!

:lol:

[pygmalion]

Umm. Just for the record, "freak" dancing, as in the dance, has been around twenty-five years at least. No. More. When did Le Freak by Chic come out? That song documented a dance that was popular at the time, and VERY sexual in nature.

The school administrators were, dare I say it? Clueless if they thought they could schedule a dance for teens and not have grinding happen. Too much grinding? Maybe. But definitely to be expected. Hmm. They should have done what the harpies who ran my high school did. Run around with their rulers to make sure everyone was the appropriate distance apart. I kid you not.

[Genesius Redux]

Umm. Just for the record, "freak" dancing, as in the dance, has been around twenty-five years at least. No. More. When did Le Freak by Chic come out? That song documented a dance that was popular at the time, and VERY sexual in nature.

The school administrators were, dare I say it? Clueless if they thought they could schedule a dance for teens and not have grinding happen. Too much grinding? Maybe. But definitely to be expected. Hmm. They should have done what the harpies who ran my high school did. Run around with their rulers to make sure everyone was the appropriate distance apart. I kid you not.

Le Freak! C'est chic!

Omigodiremember! I'd forgotten that song! It was fairly big around 1978, wasn't it?

They actually measured the distance? Get outta town! Really???

[Swing Kitten]

they ought to learn to lindy instead! Much more fun!

[pygmalion]

I remember the song Le Freak being out, but, to be honest, I don't remember the exact year. I'll have to google.

And yes. I went to a fairly prestigious all girls school, and the administrators were not about to have any hint of scandal at their dances. Rulers WERE in evidence. The rulers, and the thirty five parent volunteer chaperones, made it unlikely that anything even remotely sexual would ever happen at a GHS dance. LOL. Those were the days. Nostalgia day for me, too. :D

[Tasek]

Now I have to know, just what was the mandatory minimal distance for those dances, pygmalion?

Oh wait, maybe don't answer that one just yet, we could start a little contest, we'll all have a guess and the winner will be titled "DF Grindmaster" :) ;)

Alright, i'm thinking 15cm as an appropiate distance (That's about 6 inches in funny-system)

[pygmalion]

And just why would I know such a thing, Tasek? :lol: I would never bend the rules enough to find out. LOL. :wink:

[bordertangoman]

Eee, when I were a lad at school dances we had a wear an apron 18 inches wide and down to our knees and made of oak an inch thick. And we had to wear oven gloves if we were to dance in an embrace.
Ay we used to come home with bruised kness

But that's nothing; in me father's day at the school dances girls and boys were not allowed to dance in the same room

[pygmalion]

LOL. And why do I suddenly get a vision of you walking to school ten miles in driving snow when you were a mere laddie? Hmm? :wink: :lol:

[Genesius Redux]

Eee, when I were a lad at school dances we had a wear an apron 18 inches wide and down to our knees and made of oak an inch thick. And we had to wear oven gloves if we were to dance in an embrace.
Ay we used to come home with bruised kness

But that's nothing; in me father's day at the school dances girls and boys were not allowed to dance in the same room

In our day, they used to hand out hair shirts at dances--and we would be flogged every time we did an underarm turn. Twice for a hammerlock.

[Sagitta]

High school!! Way too late to start being hypocritical! :wink: :)

[Larinda McRaven]

LOL. And why do I suddenly get a vision of you walking to school ten miles in driving snow when you were a mere laddie? Hmm? :wink: :lol:

uphill....both ways

[Sabor]

Eee, when I were a lad at school dances we had a wear an apron 18 inches wide and down to our knees and made of oak an inch thick. And we had to wear oven gloves if we were to dance in an embrace.
Ay we used to come home with bruised kness

But that's nothing; in me father's day at the school dances girls and boys were not allowed to dance in the same room

In our day, they used to hand out hair shirts at dances--and we would be flogged every time we did an underarm turn. Twice for a hammerlock.

Yet, in our day.. if u danced with a lady .. u had to marry her..
If u had to grind.. u marry first .. then grind away..

[tsb]

Well, ya got trouble (http://www.guntheranderson.com/v/data/yagottro.htm), my friend
Right here, I say trouble right here in River City...er Bend
Oh, ya got lots and lots o' trouble
I'm thinkin' of the kids in the knickerbockers shirttails,
Young ones peekin' in the dance hall window after school
Ya got trouble, folks, right here in Bend
With a capital 'T' and that rhymes with 'D' and that
Stands for 'dancing'

Now I know all you folks are the right kind of parents
I'm gonna be perfectly frank
Would you like to know what kind of conversation goes on
While they're loafin' around that hall
They'll be tryin' out Bevo, tryin' out Cubebs,
Tryin' out tailor-mades like cigarette fiends
And braggin' all about how they're gonna cover up
A tell-tale breath with Sen-Sen
Now one fine night they leave the pool hall
Headin' for the dance at the Armory
Libertine men and scarlet women and ragtime
Shameless music that'll grab your son, your daughter
Into the arms of a jungle animal instinct- massteria!
Friends, the idle brain is the devil's playground, trouble!

"...just a minute, professor, we need your credentials, we're the school board."
"academic certificates!"
"nothing of the kind!" (my line!)
"we need letters and papers!"
"make him put up a bond!"
.
.
.
...your apprehensions confuse me, dear. puzzle and mystify, mehhhh - steee - fahhhh....

actually, no, they dont. i was at a quinceneria (sp?) last night watched a couple of 15 year old kids who were grinding to a song right in front of a lady old enough to be their grandmother... we didn't do this kinda stuff (in public, anyway) in ohio back in the 70's!

[pygmalion]

And we didn't do it in the 80's either. LOL.

[Sagitta]

You'all dating yourselves!! :wink: :)

[tsb]

You'all dating yourselves!! :wink: :)

if i had someone else to date me i wouldn't spend all this time posting in DF!

[pygmalion]

LOL! What's that saying about old age and treachery always overcoming youth and skill?

Sign me proud to be old in Orlando, FL. LOL!

[d nice]

Sad thing is that with the distance rule you couldn't do balboa, argentine tango, or colligiate shag.

:(

Old people suck. :)

[pygmalion]

LOL. Present company excluded, right? :wink: :lol:

I know what you mean though. That distance rule was a major piece of hypocrisy. When you consider that the after party was nothing but some grinding, having the over-enthusiastic old ladies running around with rulers does seem a bit absurd.

[tsb]

Sad thing is that with the distance rule you couldn't do balboa, argentine tango, or colligiate shag. :(

i don't think it's proximity as much as the pelvic gyrations. i am not aware that such gyrations occur in the dances you listed.

maybe outlaw sumo wrestling? - which kinda looks like fat guys in diapers doing the lambada - or trying to give each other a wedgie.

Old people suck. :)

can't argue with that, but i AM trying to quit!

[Sarah]

Sad thing is that with the distance rule you couldn't do balboa, argentine tango, or colligiate shag.

:(

Old people suck. :)

That's ok. Check this place out - a $35 fine for attending a dance party!
Liberty[1] University (http://www.liberty.edu/StudentAffairs/index.cfm?PID=1378)

Cheers
Sarah

[1]Must be some strange definition of liberty that I was previously unaware of. :?

[pygmalion]

Liberty University is a fundamentalist Christian university, if I'm not mistaken. Dancing is off limits, in their belief system.

[Sarah]

Liberty University is a fundamentalist Christian university, if I'm not mistaken. Dancing is off limits, in their belief system.

Ah. I understand. To each their own.

Cheers
Sarah

[danceguy]

maybe outlaw sumo wrestling? - which kinda looks like fat guys in diapers doing the lambada - or trying to give each other a wedgie.

Ha ha! Thank you for a good laugh tsb...reminds me of the old episode of Night Court when one of the people gets stuck in an elevator with two Sumo wrestlers...anyone remember it?

As I recall when they finally get out, someone says "eat now?" and they say "No, BATHROOM!" and go running off to find a toilet...then proceed to go eat about $200.00 worth of food in the cafeteria. :D

[Pacion]

In our day, they used to hand out hair shirts at dances--and we would be flogged every time we did an underarm turn. Twice for a hammerlock.

:lol: My dad would tell me tales of when he was first learning to dance, (1950s I think) you had one of three choices :lol: a) dance with a broom stick b) dance with a chair c) dance with another guy! There was no guy/girl dancing until you were much more advanced :lol:

As for all this "grinding" :roll: "rent-a-tile" has always been my expression for it and as a "dance", :kitty: it left me unimpressed :oops: yet, it has been interesting to see in the space of like two weeks, reoccuring threads asking about "rent-a-tile" :lol: I had better start watching some more MTV :lol:

[Sagitta]

And these sort of things still happens more recently!! :wink: :) About 6/7 years ago a dominican friend told me that he learnt how to dance salsa about 10 years before using a broomstick and quite a few people did that.

[DaytonaGrindin]

maybe a younger perspective... but my generation enjoys grindin, and we arent likely to let it go just 'cause our parents tell us to.... its partially just the rebellious nature of youth, but mostly because its a lot of fun. Some of this stuff reminds me of the do-as-i-say,not-as-i-do attitude we get as being young and dumb. You guys would have been grindin back then if ya could have or would have thought to do it... ya know ya want to now.....

[youngsta]

maybe a younger perspective... but my generation enjoys grindin, and we arent likely to let it go just 'cause our parents tell us to.... its partially just the rebellious nature of youth, but mostly because its a lot of fun. Some of this stuff reminds me of the do-as-i-say,not-as-i-do attitude we get as being young and dumb. You guys would have been grindin back then if ya could have or would have thought to do it... ya know ya want to now.....
Don't know how old you think some of us are, but 'your generation' isn't doing anything my generation wasn't doing. Gridin was going on long before you were born. :lol: :lol:

[Pacion]

maybe a younger perspective... but my generation enjoys grindin, and we arent likely to let it go just 'cause our parents tell us to.... its partially just the rebellious nature of youth, but mostly because its a lot of fun. Some of this stuff reminds me of the do-as-i-say,not-as-i-do attitude we get as being young and dumb. You guys would have been grindin back then if ya could have or would have thought to do it... ya know ya want to now.....
Don't know how old you think some of us are, but 'your generation' isn't doing anything my generation wasn't doing. Gridin was going on long before you were born. :lol: :lol:

Amen to that Youngsta! :lol: And I think it will be going on long after DaytonaGrindin is trying to stop his/her grandchildren from doing it :wink:

[SDsalsaguy]

Hold your horses guys... first things first, i.e. welcome to the Dance Forums DaytonaGrindin! :D

Ok, now that that's taken care of...

DG, the point Youngsta & Pacion are making is that (A) grinding really isn't all that new, (B) many of the members here aren't all that "not new," and (C) that perspectives change.

Aside from that I'd like to add this... not everyone likes the same things, regardless of generation. There are, for instance, DF members here from "your" generation who, like most of the members here, prefer other forms of dancing. To each their own though, right? Finally, what many of the DF members are actually relating to is the lack of "connection" in grinding (and I don't mean physical contact, obviously) that they have found in partnered dancing.

[paradime]

I just went 2 a school dance Friday night and they were alot of people grinding there. I was looking 4 this certain girl 2 dance with. I finally found her and all these guys were having trouble dancing with her....well this girl was gonna be mine 2nite so when the next song started I just grabbed her thighs and pulled close to me as we grinded to the best ... we grinded for about 45 mins non stop ... literally ... and by the time the dance was over ... about 11pm, we were all sweaty ... her 3 friends who happened 2 be grindin 2 w/other people couldn't believe that I had just danced with her ... for about 45 mins straight. Well after the dance and B4 we split, her friends were giving these looks and smiles ... anyway the point of the post is that even though school banned GRINDIN :friend: :banana: :google:

[cocodrilo]

maybe a younger perspective... but my generation enjoys grindin, and we arent likely to let it go just 'cause our parents tell us to.... its partially just the rebellious nature of youth, but mostly because its a lot of fun. Some of this stuff reminds me of the do-as-i-say,not-as-i-do attitude we get as being young and dumb. You guys would have been grindin back then if ya could have or would have thought to do it... ya know ya want to now.....
Welcome!
True, a whole lot of folks enjoy grinding (young AND old!) but it just isn't for everyone. Lots of shy folks out there and you wouldn't want to, er, rub them the wrong way if ya get my drift. It's gotta be a very mutual thing. 8)

[Sagitta]

maybe a younger perspective... but my generation enjoys grindin, and we arent likely to let it go just 'cause our parents tell us to.... its partially just the rebellious nature of youth, but mostly because its a lot of fun. Some of this stuff reminds me of the do-as-i-say,not-as-i-do attitude we get as being young and dumb. You guys would have been grindin back then if ya could have or would have thought to do it... ya know ya want to now.....
Welcome!
True, a whole lot of folks enjoy grinding (young AND old!) but it just isn't for everyone. Lots of shy folks out there and you wouldn't want to, er, rub them the wrong way if ya get my drift. It's gotta be a very mutual thing. 8)

True...

[jon]

I don't get the whole "adults must be fuddy-duddys because they don't like grinding" viewpoint. Granted a lot of adults are indeed fuddy-duddys, but look at it from a different perspective:

Blues dancing with a cooperative and enthusiastic partner involves at least as much physical contact as grinding, the difference being that you're in contact with your partner's front side the majority of the time.

Not to make disparaging comparisons, but mostly the front side of people is much more fun to be touching than the back. And there's the added element of extended eye contact to crank up the sensuality even more.

So while grinding sounds reasonably fun, you guys need to grow up and get to the really good stuff!

[cocodrilo]

Heh heh, well said, Jon! 8)

[Sagitta]

Who said that grinding is solely back to front? :wink: :) :lol:

[jon]

Who said that grinding is solely back to front? :wink: :) :lol:

Most of the descriptions posted here...

[pygmalion]

I don't get the whole "adults must be fuddy-duddys because they don't like grinding" viewpoint. Granted a lot of adults are indeed fuddy-duddys, but look at it from a different perspective:

Blues dancing with a cooperative and enthusiastic partner involves at least as much physical contact as grinding, the difference being that you're in contact with your partner's front side the majority of the time.

Not to make disparaging comparisons, but mostly the front side of people is much more fun to be touching than the back. And there's the added element of extended eye contact to crank up the sensuality even more.

So while grinding sounds reasonably fun, you guys need to grow up and get to the really good stuff!

LOL! Nice perspective, jon. 8)

[pygmalion]

Oh yeah, and you can grind back to front or front to front. The latest fad seems to favor back to front, which I personally find a bit ... demeaning to the person in front, generally the girl. Changing positions seems a bit more ... egalitarian. But that's just me.

[cocodrilo]

I grind side to side when I'm dancing with my girl buddies, if that's anything exciting! (Remember the bump? We were doing that last night when the blues band who warmed up for us was on! FUUUUN!)

[DancePoet]

Some of these "grinders" should see how some of us smooth and standard dancers have contact during Waltz, Foxtrot, Tango, V. Waltz, and Quick Step. They might be surprised, and who knows, they might even decide to graduate into the ranks of ballroom dancing. ;) :lol:

[pygmalion]

maybe a younger perspective... but my generation enjoys grindin, and we arent likely to let it go just 'cause our parents tell us to.... its partially just the rebellious nature of youth, but mostly because its a lot of fun. Some of this stuff reminds me of the do-as-i-say,not-as-i-do attitude we get as being young and dumb. You guys would have been grindin back then if ya could have or would have thought to do it... ya know ya want to now.....

LOL! Bet ya fifty bucks I'm old enough to be your mom. And I used grinding as a way to show my rebillious side when I was a teenager, too. :wink: :lol:

[Sabor]

Some of these "grinders" should see how some of us smooth and standard dancers have contact during Waltz, Foxtrot, Tango, V. Waltz, and Quick Step. They might be surprised, and who knows, they might even decide to graduate into the ranks of ballroom dancing. ;) :lol:

u meant 'Ballroom Grinding' didn't u? tsk tsk

:lol:

[DancePoet]

Some of these "grinders" should see how some of us smooth and standard dancers have contact during Waltz, Foxtrot, Tango, V. Waltz, and Quick Step. They might be surprised, and who knows, they might even decide to graduate into the ranks of ballroom dancing. ;) :lol:

u meant 'Ballroom Grinding' didn't u? tsk tsk

:lol:
:shock: :wink: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I can see it now ... a new marketing effort by dance studios to encourage the younger folks.

Speaking of which, after last night's practice comp the studio I was at had a 7pm lesson for high school students where the featured dance was Salsa! What a crowd! Easily 25 to 30 youngsters, and almost an aqual number of guys and gals. Very impressive!

So for you grinder's out there, see if you can find a local studio with beginner group Salsa lessons. :D

[dTas]

adults being adults need to show "responsibility". so they have to draw the line somewhere to show that they care about their children and their behavior.

they even pass laws, no drinking until you're 21, no smoking until 18, no driving until you're 16, etc.

this is just a milder form of those restrictions. kids are still going to do it. you hear about kids underage drinking, about kids smoking, etc. but that doesn't mean that the "adults" approve of it. (in a general sense) and by no means does it imply that the "adults" will provide a means in which to do it.

how about underage drinking bars and public smoking arenas.

i'm just showing that as "responsible parents" and "administrators" (whom ever they might be), adults have the responsibility of "guarding" the young the best they can.

i'm pretty sure if the "freak dancing" was condoned and encouraged in the schools that the kids would find "the next level" in which to push the envelope. you gotta draw the line somewhere to make sure that a worse line isn't crossed.

[Richard]

:D

Just to add anothers views to this interesting and entertaining thread...


I never was interested in dancing OR girls until i was about 20.

And still then after... (now at 28 ) it wasnt till about 2 years ago i realised how powerfully amazing and enjoyable dancing (& grinding) can be!

I havent done "too much" grinding myself... but the times i have done...

ive found it very stimulating, exchanging energies with a woman is such an amazing thing...


i see guys who are only interested in sex, or whatever....
i dont think that has anything on the "energy" and play that 2 people can generate dancing together.

I just love to share energy with women now when the opportunity is presented .. its such an amazing feeling & nothing sexual has to come of it at all. or at least it doesnt have to lead to anything more.

I dont know mabe im just realising what it is to be a man? mabe i missed out on all that "teenage" grinding?

mabe the waltz is in fact one of the greatest most romantic activities for mature adults....

All i know is that either dancing by myself and merged with the music or with a partner and dancing sexy together.....

These energys are amazing! wonderfull! & i want more of them!

its great fun! :twisted:

LOL.

[PheonixinFlight]

:D

I havent done "too much" grinding myself... but the times i have done...

ive found it very stimulating, exchanging energies with a woman is such an amazing thing...

I've only grinded a few times but I know exactly what you mean.

[PheonixinFlight]

The latest fad seems to favor back to front, which I personally find a bit ... demeaning to the person in front, generally the girl.

My girlfriend felt the same way. We now switch between back to front and front to front when we dance. I personally don't care but she does.

[cornutt]

Yet, in our day.. if u danced with a lady .. u had to marry her..


Ha! In my day, sex hadn't been invented yet. We procreated by cell division. However, there wasn't a lot of procreation going on because the women though we were all a bunch of math geeks: "Hey baby, you wanna go out back and do some division?" Just didn't work as a pickup line for some reason...

[Indiana_Jay]

Ha! In my day, sex hadn't been invented yet. We procreated by cell division. However, there wasn't a lot of procreation going on because the women thought we were all a bunch of math geeks: "Hey baby, you wanna go out back and do some division?" Just didn't work as a pickup line for some reason...
That's absolutely hilarious! :lol:

[PheonixinFlight]

Ha! In my day, sex hadn't been invented yet. We procreated by cell division. However, there wasn't a lot of procreation going on because the women though we were all a bunch of math geeks: "Hey baby, you wanna go out back and do some division?" Just didn't work as a pickup line for some reason...

:notworth: I bow to you. Thats one of the funniest things I've ever heard anyone say on this site...

[Lucretia]

Last night I was grinded for the first time "as adult". It was not my choice at all, but after reading all discussions here I just had to endure the dance - as a scientific experiment :lol:

(Last time it happened I was about 17 years old and the circumstances was different. It was really great :))

First of all I wonder about the reason why people grind?
How can you say there is nothing sexual about it. I mean - to me it seems to be a prephase before something else. Of course you don't have to go home with the guy/girl and you don't have to have any feelings of sexual attaction before you start - but it is quite sexual ....

I was very sure about the intentions of this guy - he didn't speak much Swedish at all but he gruffed and showed me exactly how to do to "satisfy" his needs. And there wasn't much I could do about it unless I wanted to leave the dancefloor. And I was so curious that I didn't do awant to leave. I "protected myself" whenever it was possible....

Next time I will not accept it unless it is:
- someone I like and feel mutual respect to/from
- someone who respect my signals (like keep away from this area)
- or my husband :LOL: (who don't have to respect any zones at all)


/luc

[Twilight_Elena]

Ha! In my day, sex hadn't been invented yet. We procreated by cell division. However, there wasn't a lot of procreation going on because the women though we were all a bunch of math geeks: "Hey baby, you wanna go out back and do some division?" Just didn't work as a pickup line for some reason...

:uplaugh:

Twilight Elena

[fascination]

And just why would I know such a thing, Tasek? :lol: I would never bend the rules enough to find out. LOL. :wink:geez I wish I was young again...I would have been a bit less obediant I think

[boco]

And just why would I know such a thing, Tasek? :lol: I would never bend the rules enough to find out. LOL. :wink:


wasnt it breaking the rules that got us alot of our "newer" dance forms? :)

(by newer i mean starting in the late 80s)

[boco]

adults being adults need to show "responsibility". so they have to draw the line somewhere to show that they care about their children and their behavior.

they even pass laws, no drinking until you're 21, no smoking until 18, no driving until you're 16, etc.

this is just a milder form of those restrictions. kids are still going to do it. you hear about kids underage drinking, about kids smoking, etc. but that doesn't mean that the "adults" approve of it. (in a general sense) and by no means does it imply that the "adults" will provide a means in which to do it.

how about underage drinking bars and public smoking arenas.

i'm just showing that as "responsible parents" and "administrators" (whom ever they might be), adults have the responsibility of "guarding" the young the best they can.

i'm pretty sure if the "freak dancing" was condoned and encouraged in the schools that the kids would find "the next level" in which to push the envelope. you gotta draw the line somewhere to make sure that a worse line isn't crossed.

i like knowing that dancing, whether 'freak' or not, that doesnt harm the body, and can even be lifting to the soul (i've never heard anyone depressed because they were dancing the night before) is put in the same boat as underage drinking and teenage smoking.

*scratches head* seems to me i was in that boat when i was 14 and 15... 'underage drinking' has killed some of my friends, and ruined their lives (drunk driving for the most part, but one of my friends drank so much, and so regularly, it disintegrated his liver) and the whole teenage smoking thing.. i've seen people go from being star athletes to being nothing more than a pile of mush (****, my fraternity brothers are kinda like that)

but I've never seen, out of the thousand kid that i've known, someone going from a "freak dancer" to anything more than a respectable human being... as i said, in fact, that dancing usually makes them feel better about themselves, and the closeness with another person, whether sexual in nature or not, gives people a sort of silent respectful bond..

some people may not see me as an adult yet, but i've been through enough, and have gone through enough changes to know that any sort of dance, from the native ghost dance, dance of the dead, to ballroom dancing, to a more modern style of breaking, to freak dancing, to even krumping (have you seen this? its way intense), are all forms of self expression, and good mediums to let out, or get in, energy.

so saying that dancing like this leads to the "next level" ... maybe it does, but who are you to say that the 'next level' of envelope pushing isnt going to be something decent? look at all the medical discoveries, or scientific discoveries- most of them came from people who were told that they would never do it.

and on that note, i need to continue to clean up my room. i can't stand it being this gross. (the semester just ended, and i finally have some time :D )

-j

[Shooshoo]

How can you say there is nothing sexual about it.

/luc

I totally agree with you. I don't understand people who say so?

[Twilight_Elena]

I have to agree with boco. Grinding is not actually harmful. It's sexually acceted, heavily so. That's true. But that doesn't mean it's harmful. After all, it takes two to grind. If one feels that it is in any way violating his/her private space, s/he can always stop. It's free will. I don't see what the fuss is all about. Don't let me start quoting Footloose. ;)

Twilight Elena

[dTas]

its not the Grinding... its the "showing responsibility".

so... what if there was a totally open dance: no restrictions.

any guesses what would happen? would anything happen? or would everything go just fine?

[LCbaseball22]

LOL, that article the OP posted reminds me of when I was in high school. I never went to any dances other then Prom but we used to have this motto the students had to abide by-

"Face to Face, Leave Some Space!"

I think they've since done away with this because the students didn't take to it well and eventually stopped buying tickets. In fact, as I recall all dances other then Homecoming and Prom were cancelled my Junior and Senior years. But they needed the funds so they brought the dances back soon after, and unless I'm mistaken got rid of the slogan, lol. Twilight is right, it's not for me (never been to a club) but if they want I say let 'em.