Need some help here!

[clueless22]

Alright, here is the story. So basically Im pretty quiet and shy most of the time. And I always have been. As far as dancing goes, I have never done it before because I was afraid that I would entirely screw up, and I flat out dont know how to dance. I read that one thread were the two guys were going to a dance in two days and needed help. I guess it sorta helped, but I guess my biggest problem is my low self confidence. Any suggestions?

[fascination]

welcome to DF...my advice is that low self-confidence is simply something to be ignored...most people struggle with their confidence...successful people get over themselves and just do it...doesn't mean they don't struggle they just happen to be brave in spite of their fears

[newbie]

Attend a class or a summer workshop for beginners, you'll see that the other people screw it up too. Confidence will come with technique, and technique will come with time.

[salsamad]

I'm not quiet or shy but have still found it a bit of a painful journey to have confidence in my dancing and have hated the learning curve. Just keep telling yourself that it will get better and be so worth it. Fake it til you make it as they say.

[_malakawa_]

Attend a class or a summer workshop for beginners, you'll see that the other people screw it up too. Confidence will come with technique, and technique will come with time.

nicely said. first few hours you'll be very confused. but don't give up.

confidence will come. i can tell you from the experiance, because i am a teacher, and i see how my student are making good progress after just few lessons.

[nucat78]

Dude. Just a year and half ago I was horrible. Now I'm merely somewhat incompetent. LOL!

Don't sweat it, everybody goes through the learning curve / pains. The best advice I can give is: Don't give up! Keep at it and eventually things WILL come together for you.

A couple follows used to avoid me in group classes. Now THEY invite me to go dancing with them. I occasionally fit them into my schedule if the mood strikes me.

(Joking about the schedule, but not the avoidance in the beginning or the invites now.)

[Ampster]

Alright, here is the story. So basically Im pretty quiet and shy most of the time. And I always have been. As far as dancing goes, I have never done it before because I was afraid that I would entirely screw up, and I flat out dont know how to dance. I read that one thread were the two guys were going to a dance in two days and needed help. I guess it sorta helped, but I guess my biggest problem is my low self confidence. Any suggestions?


As suggested earlier, take a couple of class/workshops, and check the scene out. You'll find that A LOT of people "don't get it" either, so don't worry. Also, take note that, (My observation) if you're in a social dance situation, people don't pay attention to the newbie dancers. They watch for the really good ones. Why? because, their fun to watch. Why would you watch a newbie? Only bad dancers ping on new ones, because that's the only way they compensate for their incompetence.

Bottom line, you'll never get good if you don't start and keep learning. I (and many here) started where you are. We did it, so can you.

[Spitfire]

Go to a class and you'll find you're not the only one. The best advice has already been given so just get out there and do it and you'll be glad you did even if things are rough at first.

[RickRS]

I read that one thread were the two guys were going to a dance in two days and needed help. I guess it sorta helped, but I guess my biggest problem is my low self confidence. Any suggestions

You're not asking for us to teach you to dance in two days, are you?

As far as dancing goes, I have never done it before because I was afraid that I would entirely screw up, and I flat out dont know how to dance.

That was exactly where I was. I flat out didn't know how to dance and was afraid to try. But, in beginner classes, you're not suppose to know. Thats why they're called beginner classes. The nice thing is, dance can be broken down into simple series of moves, which you will learn one at a time. It will be awkward at first and each new move will be a challenge. Most of us go thru that awkward two left feet phase, so you will have plenty of company in a beginner class, but if you stick with it, you can become a dancer.

Me, my wife finally got me to try a beginner group class back in October. It set up to just get us some basic skill in social dance, with a different dance to work on every two months. I really get a kick out of it. I'm still a beginner, but finally a dancer (at least in mine own mind ;))

[clueless22]

lol. no I dont need to learn in two days. And just so that im clear, I am talking about club dancing, or social dancing, whatever you want to call it. I want to learn a bit about it because there is this girl that might want to go with me ( that is an entirely different story :rolleyes:). She likes going to this new club and if we went somewhere she would probably want to go there.

At least with partner dancing there is usually a set pattern, or a basic guideline. Thats what confuses me with club dance because I have no clue (look at my user name ;)) what to do, and I am afraid to make an ass of myself. I know I probably wounldnt be totally bad, but I dont want to try it with at least a little bit a knowledge.

Unfortunatley, I dont really have time for classes, so any learning would have to be done with pure practice. Any tips?

[DWise1]

Find a teacher. If it's a professional teacher, take privates since you'll learn a lot in a short period of time. If it's a friend or acquaintance, then their approach will largely be like privates.

I need to share something in order to warn you about falling into the same trap. For most of our 30-year relationship, my now-ex-wife had me brainwashed into believing that I had absolutely no sense of rhythm and could never possibly learn to dance. It started in college when she and her friends tried to "teach" me how to dance (60's/70's free-style). The problem was in how they "tried": they simply told me to follow the music and do what it told me. No steps, no moves, no demonstration, no guided practice. They just told me exactly what I just repeated and expected me to pick it up immediately and when I couldn't they branded me totally incapable, a "7-Up" ("never had it, never will" -- a code term she and her kindergarten partner would use).

Now, the thing is that people who have been dancing for a long time tend to forget what it was like to be a beginner; she had been dancing since she was a little girl. It "comes naturally" to them because they've been doing it for so long. They just do it and they don't really know how to tell somebody else how to do it, nor can they understand why anyone would have any problem doing it -- just about the only thing that makes sense to them is that the person having difficulty learning is just incapable.

My message is that you need to make sure that doesn't happen to you. I have learned several social dances (various forms of swing, salsa, ballroom, country -- though still not free-style), most of my partners compliment me on my strong frame and lead, and I've also been told I have a natural sense of rhythm. There might be actual "7-Ups" out there, but most people so labelled can indeed learn and have.

So, if a friend teaches you, make sure that they show you basic steps and moves and that they then take you through practice sessions. First without music, so that you can work out the steps -- they should count off the beat for you (even hip-hop fits an 8-beat count). When you start to get those moves into muscle memory, then they should play a moderate-tempo song with a beat that's easy for you to hear and follow.

Part of my problem was that I was a listener; I heard everything going on in the music and all that, especially the melodies, kept getting in the way of my hearing only the beat that I was supposed to follow. In that case, you need to listen to dance music and learn to count out the beat (most dancers still count to themselves, even if it doesn't look like it). Your teacher should start you off counting the beat while you also count it and listen for it in the music. Then during the rest of the day, listen to dance music and count along with it, tapping your toes or fingers. Of course, if you can already do that, then you're further along.

The steps and moves you learn at first should be the basic most common ones. Especially nail the basic step down pat, because when you try something fancier and flub it (which you will do many times, just we all have done), then you will go right back to the basic, something familiar and comfortable and where you're back in control. Every amateur loves to show fancy moves, but after you pull of that 8-count fancy move in about 5 to 10 seconds, what are you then going to do for the remaining 3 minutes of the song? Learn the basics, because that's what's going to get you through the song. And then you can start to build on those basics.

It takes time, work, and dedication. Hey, if I could do it, so can you.


And above all, if your teacher tries to write you off, don't let him/her.

[QPO]

Take a risk, it is always about being prepared to make an egg of yourself. I did that by doing singing classes years a go I was scared to death but my teacher was so supportive and I learn to overcome that fear. You can do it with dancing or anything else. You will be fine.

[clueless22]

Alright, So I might be going to a club early next week and im freakin out.

I went on youtube and I found this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87kZJu9FJOw

It seemed like a good video. Is that the basis of club dancing? that swaying move he does in the beginning?

Feedback would be great.