Exquisitely romantic or utterly insufferable?

[Genesius Redux]

Since love has been in the air on DF for some time now, I put this to you, an actual scrap of real conversation. You tell me what you think is going on here:

I was just in Border's Bookstore, browsing the drama section. While I was looking, a young woman goes into the magazine section right behind me. She's wearing a floral print dress and slingbacks, like she's just been out, and she's talking on the cell phone.

What is she talking about? She's just been proposed to. "I saw the ring," she says, "and I was like so in shock. And I'm trying to be quiet while he asks me, and I say yes, yes, yes!"

Well, I was on my way out already, and didn't want to eavesdrop, so I headed for the front doors.

And in the foyer as you come into Border's, there's a young man, dressed in a black suit and red shirt open at the collar. He's on the cell phone.

"So I took out the ring," he's saying, "and then I put it right on her finger...."

Before I could hear any more, I was out the doors.

Now I put it to you all--what do you see in this slice of life? If this were to be a one-act play, or part of a full-length feature film, what would the title be? What would it be about? What's in the future for these lovebirds? How would you write the rest of the story?

You can see I have nothing to do. Well, yes I do, I have a million papers to read, but I don't feel like it. And I'm genuinely curious. What would you write?

Cheers,

Genesius

[DanceMentor]

Having placed a ring on my wife's finger, I know how exciting this can be...
A title? How about...hmmm...

"Books and More! A pimp proposes to a ..."

no! no! no!

How about, "The anatomy of a wedding proposal" or "Who's getting married?"

[danceguy]

How about:

"Romance and Cellular Technology. Why newly engaged lovers spend more time telling their friends what's going on then spending time together."

"Blasphemy at Borders. Why young couples shouldn't propose after drinking too much coffee. Starbucks anyone?"

Ok...time for bed me thinks. ;)

[DancePoet]

Books and marriage, books and marriage, go together like a horse and carriage.

(Probably time for me to get some sleep.)

[tsb]

sprint pc commerical: if they had the picture capabililty they could be transmitting pics of:
- the ring
- the two of them as a couple
- the two of them spontanteously hugging strangers;
- ad nauseum;

along with images of the mom & dad emailing the pic to relatives overseas.

[Sheild Maiden]

No, I'd make it not about them. More about you, or put the main character in your situation. You know, like a guy who has fallen in love after being hurt badly, and he's trying to decide whether he should let the possible love of his life go and not risk getting hurt again, or go and tell her how he feels and possibly be happy forever more. something like that anyway.

[Genesius Redux]

:lol: DM, Scorp, Poet! :lol:

tsb--That's just what I was thinking. What do you say we write to Adwiz as a team and see if he'll give us a job? :wink:

Shield Maiden--You have a tender heart! I got virtually the same response from a college chum (not on DF) when I sent the story around to the folks in my address book. His take--all about the guy who overhears just one day after he's been brutally and humiliatingly dumped.

But his story, unlike yours, goes on and has the guy going postal on all four people! Andy's just a little :twisted: . I wrote back to tell him it had been nearly three years since I was brutally and humiliatingly dumped so I could afford to be detached and Democritan! :lol:

Truthfully, though, the secret romantic in me likes your version better!

Genesius

[peachexploration]

How about:

"Romance and Cellular Technology. Why newly engaged lovers spend more time telling their friends what's going on then spending time together."

"Blasphemy at Borders. Why young couples shouldn't propose after drinking too much coffee. Starbucks anyone?"

Ok...time for bed me thinks. ;)

:lol: :lol: :lol: Funny! But true.

[tsb]

tsb--That's just what I was thinking. What do you say we write to Adwiz as a team and see if he'll give us a job? :wink:


i'd lose more clients than i'd retain. to wit:

- take one of those old perpetual motion/transfer of momentum gizmos with the five metal balls, remove three of them and film 30 seconds of them clacking together and at the end of the spot, flash the brand name such as: HANES or BVD or FRUIT OF THE LOOM;
- slogan for a medical practice consisting of psychiatrists & proctologists: "we treat all odds & ends";
- somebody doing an imitation of Nixon advertising Windex: "....Windex, when you want to make things, er, perfectly clear..."

[Christina75]

- take one of those old perpetual motion/transfer of momentum gizmos with the five metal balls, remove three of them and film 30 seconds of them clacking together and at the end of the spot, flash the brand name such as: HANES or BVD or FRUIT OF THE LOOM;


this was me reading the above:

:| ... :? ... :idea: ... :shock: ... :D ... head on desk :lol:

Christina

[salsachinita]

I was just in Border's Bookstore, browsing the drama section. While I was looking, a young woman goes into the magazine section right behind me. She's wearing a floral print dress and slingbacks, like she's just been out, and she's talking on the cell phone.

What is she talking about? She's just been proposed to. "I saw the ring," she says, "and I was like so in shock. And I'm trying to be quiet while he asks me, and I say yes, yes, yes!"

Well, I was on my way out already, and didn't want to eavesdrop, so I headed for the front doors.

And in the foyer as you come into Border's, there's a young man, dressed in a black suit and red shirt open at the collar. He's on the cell phone.

"So I took out the ring," he's saying, "and then I put it right on her finger...."

Before I could hear any more, I was out the doors.

Now I put it to you all--what do you see in this slice of life? If this were to be a one-act play, or part of a full-length feature film, what would the title be? What would it be about? What's in the future for these lovebirds? How would you write the rest of the story?



:idea: Hey, let's turn this into another story telling game! :idea:

What do you say....?

*ok, I LOVE stories.......*

[Genesius Redux]

Interesting you should say that, Salsachinita--a good actress friend of mine wrote back with some ideas about it and made me think of something I hadn't even considered. Maybe they were two people who were talking about two separate proposals. They just happen to be in Border's at the same time. Then they meet and fall in love!

My reply:

Okay--I'm going to get to work on it (just what I
> need, another writing project). If you open the
> play
> or the film with the two characters talking on the
> phone, the audience might assume (as I did) that
> they
> have just gotten engaged to each other. It only
> becomes clear that they're strangers when they meet!
>
> Then they fall in love with each other for the exact
> same reasons that they had fallen in love with the
> other person, just emphasizing the absurd
> arbitrariness of it all--like Shakespeare's "MND."

Oh, and tsb--you are too funny!

Here's another: Guy is working on the plumbing in his house, makes a complete mess of it. Shoving the snake up the tubes and getting covered with icky dark goo. Has no idea how to put the plumbing back together, looks at his situation with helpless despair.

Voice Over: "Isn't it better to call an expert?"

Fade to black--the address comes up as the voice over continues:

(On second thought, maybe interested parties should PM if they want to know what the VO says)

:wink:

[etchuck]

At least this was done at a Borders. I recall an advertising pitch for buying jewelry at Wal-Mart once.

[tsb]

- take one of those old perpetual motion/transfer of momentum gizmos with the five metal balls, remove three of them and film 30 seconds of them clacking together and at the end of the spot, flash the brand name such as: HANES or BVD or FRUIT OF THE LOOM;


this was me reading the above:

:| ... :? ... :idea: ... :shock: ... :D ... head on desk :lol:

Christina

i won't suggest what it would take to run an ad like that!

[DancePoet]

I just went back and reread this thread and just died laughing all the way through it! It is late again and I'm getting tired, but when I read stuff like this I just loose it!

At first I was pondering...

Did this really happen? What are the chances a proposal would take place in Border's? Maybe it happened because this is where they met? And the cell phones as the way to let folks know how it went is still killing me...I mean without a cell phone, they would likely wait until they saw someone in person to tell them or wait till they got home to call. The cell might actually keep them from getting into a car accident on the way home as a result of their enthusiasm because they have now gotten the story out. And they are both using a cell phone in Border's? At least the guy had the sense to go into the entry way and not disturb anyone. (That's my anti-cell phone attitude coming out there.) And what's next? Are they planning to have their wedding there, too. And how about the reception? And the idea that they might be talking about different situations would be so funny. What are the chances?

Oh I'm just rolling at the silliness of all this! I love life!

[etchuck]

Well, I do have to tell everyone... I have a friend who works at a Barnes and Noble. In one entry onto a public forum about bad customers, she wrote about how a couple of her customers decided to have sex in the outdoor cafe of the bookstore. They decided this one corner near the tinted windows near the cafe would be "private" enough. Well... they were escorted out by security. To say the least, they are banned from the store.

[Genesius Redux]

Yup, it really happened. From the way they were dressed, I'm guessing they were coming back from dinner at P.F. Chang's (which is in the same little strip mall at the other end). Then they both went into different parts of Border's to call their respective people. :?

[SDsalsaguy]

You mean his people didn't call her people (or vice versa) to make the proposal??? :shock: :wink: :lol:

[danceguy]

:doh: :headwall: :doh:

[tsb]

At least this was done at a Borders. I recall an advertising pitch for buying jewelry at Wal-Mart once.

at least you could say you bought your jewelry from a billionaire.

[Pacion]

You mean his people didn't call her people (or vice versa) to make the proposal??? :shock: :wink: :lol:

Okay, I am trying really really hard here not to burst out laughing. What do you think my chances are :lol:

[SDsalsaguy]

You mean his people didn't call her people (or vice versa) to make the proposal??? :shock: :wink: :lol:

Okay, I am trying really really hard here not to burst out laughing. What do you think my chances are :lol:
Hmmm... well, given that your post ends with a " :lol: ", somehow I'm thinkig you didn't make it... :wink:

[DancePoet]

Pacion: Are you trying to tell us you were one of the two on the cell phones? Let me guess ... Sabor was on the other one? ;)

My, my, Pacion and Sabor planning a wedding, imagine that! ;)

[Jmatthew]

So we have 3 characters so far.

The bride-to-be. The groom. The stranger.

We need more. So we have a best guy-friend on the phone with the guy, and the best girl-friend on the phone with the girl.

Ooh, and let's tie them together with the wanderings of the random stranger. So we follow the stranger around (who really isn't all that interesting, except that he keeps running into people connected to the bride and groom-to-be, and learning more of the story.

Later in the story the stranger, through inadvertantly knowing 10 different perspectives on this romance is able to save the day, etc etc.

I can almost see this working as a script.

I like the stranger being recently dumped angle too. We should go with that. The stranger's best-friend can be married to the woman who sold the groom-to-be the rings or something, so when he tries to vent his despair on his buddy the wife can come in all glowie because the groom called and said she loves the ring, ooh, or even better, the phone can ring while he's there with his buddy and buddy's wife and can be interupted by the groom-to-be's call. Ooh, I like this! lol

At some point in the movie the stranger has to sit down in front of a TV for some "me" time and discover every channel has diamond commercials on. :)

Of course, the moral at the end is that he finds some solace in helping others be happy, with a hint that some side-character and him have some chemistry. :)

[peachexploration]

Hi GR! Hope you're still around. Miss reading your post. Hope you're okay. :)