Is Chemistry Important in Selecting Coach

[dancingirldancing]

I am just wondering if chemistry is important when you are selecting your coach.

I mean, do you have to 'connect' while dancing esp in a pro-am lessons or can you have a pro that you dont like dancing with teaching you.

Also, what happened if after you try a coach, you find that you are not compatible not necessarily because the coach is not good but just because there is no 'connection'.

I am just having a big dilema. On one hand I have a coach that is a dream to dance with. I am so looking forward to our lesson and he make me so happy afterwards. I have no romantic feelings for him though it is just that the dancing is sooooo beautiful. However, coach no 1 does not seem to improve me as much (I could be wrong). It is just because we somehow dance so well together my 'bad habits' does not seem to be noticeable at all.

However coach no 2 improve me so much but we does not seem to have that connection. Everytime we dance, every minute little thing seems to be a problem. It is so awkward, worse than when I dance with someone waaaaay less skilled in a group class. I mean we just cant dance together for some reason BUT I feel like I always have something to learn from him because my mistakes are all so pronounced.

I have been taking lesson from these 2 coaches for about the same time so it is not even an adjustment problem !

I have an urge to stop taking lesson from the second coach and add more lesson from the first coach BUT I am worried that I will not improve a lot. Also, I have not tell the first coach that I want to compete so I am going to be too embarassed telling him this and to ask him to help me look out for an am partner.

[syncopationator]

I take lessons from 1) my pro/am teacher, 2) a latin coach and 3) a standard coach. You should have more than one coach.

[and123]

Ignoring any personality issues, it sounds to me like the 1st coach isn't doing you any favors. Yes, a good Pro can compensate for you, but a good Pro will also back off doing that as you develop better abilities. Does a Pro dance differently with a student with <1 yr dance experience under her belt versus someone who has been dancing and training extensively for years? I dare say yes. Call it "training wheels", or whatever. But 2nd coach is perhaps letting you flounder *too* much without giving you feedback as to why he's doing it and what he wants you to do.

My two ducats :cool:

[samina]

you need enuf chemistry for free flow of information. people communicate differently -- you've got to feel right at least on that level.

there's also the emotional/psychological aspect... if you're thin-skinned and your coach isn't on the wavelength of accommodating that, or things just don't feel "right", i don't think that's going to be very productive for you in the end.

it's a relationship like any other, whether personal or professional... chemistry applies. if you don't feel on the same wavelength for the purpose at hand, find someone else with whom you do.

them's my ducats. :)

[etp777]

It seems like maybe neither of the pros are doing quite right by you. Agree with what has already been said, #1 is definitely not doing you any favors, but it seems like #2 might be too harsh/not quite connecting right with you. Before deciding to leave either, bring your concerns to them. I know I've talked to my regular group teacher about wanting more technique work, and less pattern-whoring in our group classes, and he was very receptive to that, when possible (depending on who is in class that day, what we all know, how it fits in, etc). But like last class, even though we were all intermediate/advanced bronze students, went all the way back and just worked on frame/hold and waltz box. And it was a great lesson. Well, a little frustrating, but was exaclty what I wanted. So talk to them before you decide to leave either.

[LucyDiamond]

I agree with etp. Talk to them and let them know your concerns.

[fascination]

the best coach I have ever had (glenis)...I didn't get her language at all for athe first two sessions ... our personalities are vastly different and I had to concentrate a great deal to make progress on her coachings...but her professionalism, the quality of the information, and my ability to integrate it in a permanent way was for more valuable than other coachings that I had that were either dreamy or fun....I say go with number two...coaching is not abut having fun...it is about getting better...which is ultimately fun...

[Laura]

I think that if it's between #1 and #2 I'd go with #2 also. The dancing might feel awkward and awful now, but think how satisfied you'll be as you improve and it gets better until one day you realize that it's finally become dreamy due to your hard work and improvement.

[etp777]

Also, are we talking about coaches, or about your pro/am teacher/partner. You use the term coach in all but one place (where you do refer to pro and pro/am), but description of your interaction with them sounds like you're talking about two pros you're working with. Doesn't change my advice, but might ffect some of others. :)

Oh, and there can definitley be such thing as too much chemistry (without going down the romantic route, which I still refuse to touch :) ). But we have a coach coming in a couple weeks that I actually met before I ever started dancing, and he came out with friends and I several times, and we got along well. But that can be intrusive, as has possibility then of us standing around talking, when he should be teaching me, or not being willing to give correction to someone seen as a friend. Have another coach that I have similar relationship with, but hasn't been a problem at all. he's nothing but business during coachings, and he sure as heck is more than willing to tell me when I'm doing something wrong. :P

[Terpsichorean Clod]

Is your goal to dance well with your coach? Or is it to dance well with an amateur partner? (either is perfectly valid)

Edited to add: And the two aren't mutually exclusive.

[fascination]

I definately think there is a diff...I saw FP 10 hours a week...I might see the same coach at most 6 hours a month...on a good month...you can abide almost anything for 6 hours a month if the information is good...but for 40 hours a month there had better be some affection undergirding the whole thing

[danceronice]

I third the question--are you taking lessons from them intending to compete pro-am or are you taking lessons and planning to compete with an am partner?

For me the answer probably doesn't change much. So...I do pro/am with two different teachers. In terms of personality "chemistry", I get on better with one than the other. His style of communicating just happens to be more effective with me. However, I learn just as much from the other pro (and I have to say the fact that it's different styles has a LOT to do with it as well.) I like them both, I learn something from both of them. So I dance and compete with both.

If you don't feel like you're learning from Coach #1, but you like dancing with him, you need to decide if it's worth what you're paying to just enjoy the experience. If you have no fun dancing with Coach #2 but you are learning and improving you need to decide if what you learn is more important than having an enjoyable time while you dance with him. It's a cost-benefit analysis--is what you're getting from each situation worth what you're putting into it?

[Standarddancer]

Probably the best if you could ask a dancing friend or some other dance experts' opinion to "verify" if you really not improve too much from pro #1, you could be wrong that he does actually improve you. Before you discontinue lessons with him, just better be certain.

[fascination]

I don't know...I think you don't improve by accident...you might feel better b/c he is a good dancer...but if you don't know what happened or why or what you did to make it feel better and stay after he leaves...i rather doubt you picked something up from that sort of experience

[Some guy]

I completely agree with 'fascination'. Self-awareness is key to consistent good quality dancing... unless you're ridiculously talented and didn't need a coach in the first place. I personally will go with the person who makes me feel most fulfilled in the long-term.

I think your decision depends entirely on what you're driven by. I love a coach who can point out mistakes and show me how to correct them, 'cause I know then that I'm improving at each lesson and that the coach is making me more and more aware, thereby helping me become consistent, without letting anything slide. Personally, I believe a great dancer is someone that can dance with ANYBODY and make the partnership look and feel good. I know it's unrealistic, but it's what I strive for and that's what drives me. That's why I love to go to beginners group classes from time to time even 'though I'm terrified of what shortcomings will be exposed in my dancing. Dancing with someone who compensates for all my shortcomings and doesn't make me aware of every mistake I'm doing is not the coach I need to attain my goal.

Some people are content looking good and dancing with their coaches 'cause they look and feel great while dancing because their coaches have attained the greatness that I'm striving to attain. Coaches who correct them every few seconds hampers that good feeling. I would ask myself: do I want to feel good dancing, or do I want to become like the coach who makes me feel great while dancing?!

[_malakawa_]

I third the question--are you taking lessons from them intending to compete pro-am or are you taking lessons and planning to compete with an am partner?

For me the answer probably doesn't change much. So...I do pro/am with two different teachers. In terms of personality "chemistry", I get on better with one than the other. His style of communicating just happens to be more effective with me. However, I learn just as much from the other pro (and I have to say the fact that it's different styles has a LOT to do with it as well.) I like them both, I learn something from both of them. So I dance and compete with both.

If you don't feel like you're learning from Coach #1, but you like dancing with him, you need to decide if it's worth what you're paying to just enjoy the experience. If you have no fun dancing with Coach #2 but you are learning and improving you need to decide if what you learn is more important than having an enjoyable time while you dance with him. It's a cost-benefit analysis--is what you're getting from each situation worth what you're putting into it?


this is a key. ;)

[chica latina]

I agree with many of the other posts. If you want to learn and improve your dancing, probably coach #2 is the right one; if you feel you can take it. Maybe during lessons he's being tough to get you better and make you aware of things, but in competition he may be as enjoyable to dance with as the other coach...

[Peaches]

I agree with many of the other posts. If you want to learn and improve your dancing, probably coach #2 is the right one; if you feel you can take it. Maybe during lessons he's being tough to get you better and make you aware of things, but in competition he may be as enjoyable to dance with as the other coach...I think this is a key point. Coach #2 might be a better teacher, dancer, and coach...and in the long run you might end up getting way more out of lessons with him, but...

If your emotional response to his teaching is getting in the way of your learning, and you're unable (for whatever reason) to ignore that or get past it or handle it, then I think you'd really need to do some serious soul searching to see if you want to continue with him. And your answer could very well be that you do want to continue, despite everything else--I'm not meaning to say that your conclusion is that you should quit with him. Everyone's got different "emotional pain" threshholds.

[dancingirldancing]

Well, I am doing pro-am lesson at the moment but I will not compete pro-am. I am just still looking for an am partner.

Anyway, they will still be my coach when I find an am partner.

Placing wise coach no 1 is much younger (my age) and placed higher thatn coach no 2.

I dont know if it is the age factor that make me more comfortable with him.

[_malakawa_]

Well, I am doing pro-am lesson at the moment but I will not compete pro-am. I am just still looking for an am partner.

Anyway, they will still be my coach when I find an am partner.

Placing wise coach no 1 is much younger (my age) and placed higher than coach no 2.

I don't know if it is the age factor that make me more comfortable with him.


i would say that experience is much important than ages.

if you are looking for an am partner, stay with coach #2. if you can afford yourself to dance with coach #1 ok, but if not, second one is better option.

becuse when you'll be much comfortable with the steps and technique youl'll start to dance and enjoy with both teachers.

[danceronice]

Placing as competitors doesn't really mean much, IMO, if they're just going to be coaching you. Just because someone is a good competitor doesn't mean they're going to be a great teacher. It doesn't mean they WON'T be, either, but the skills required to be a talented competitor aren't necessarily those that make a good instructor. I'm a very good equestrian but would make a LOUSY trainer (a great judge, but a lousy trainer.) I'm a good rider myself, I have a good seat, decent legs, great hands, I am very good at looking at riders and quickly sorting out details of what's right and what's wrong, but if something is wrong? I'm terrible at communicating how to fix it if the way I know doesn't work for that student. There are lots of things a teacher has to do that don't necessarily relate to being a good competitor.

As for the age thing--who knows? That's totally personal. Of my two pros, the one who is more older than me (they both are, but in one case it's only a few years, the other...uh, a few more than that) and I tend to...uh...there's no tactful way to say it, butt heads less often. It's just a matter of personalities.

[_malakawa_]

well said danceronice.

from the experience i know that a very good dancer can be a bad teacher.

as i said early, if you want progress coach #2 should be your choice.

[cornutt]

I think I'm going to have to disagree with the panel here. To me, chemistry in a regular partnership (of any kind) is so important that I wouldn't give up on #1 until it's become apparent that I've gone as far as I can go with that partnership. I'd first try going to him and saying, "We have a great partnership, and I really enjoy dancing with you. But I'm ready to step up my game. I want you to start introducing new material to me and pushing me more." Then, see what happens. It's possible your coach had read you as someone who only wanted to go so far (instructors do get a lot of students like that).

On the other hand, it's also possible that the reason you don't feel you are making progress with coach #1 is that you've tapped out his knowledge. In that case, he won't be able to take you any further until he gets some training himself. Does he have any students who are more advanced than you?

[fascination]

well see, that is the thing cornutt...it is confusing as to the use of the term coach...b/c my view on a coach and my view on a pro are two very different things b/c of the amount of time one is with them...sort of like a scarey roller coaster... I can take anything for 2 1/2 minutes

[etp777]

hahah, suspect that's an analogy that would have some of our regular coaches at my studio rolling on ground laughing, fasc. :)

[fascination]

and, as I have said before; sometimes in chemistry...things blow up

[cornutt]

and, as I have said before; sometimes in chemistry...things blow up

Reminds me of an old joke: Know your Natural Sciences!

If it's twitchy and slimy, it's biology.
If it blows up and smells bad, it's chemistry.
If it doesn't work, it's physics.

[chica latina]

Placing wise coach no 1 is much younger (my age) and placed higher thatn coach no 2.



Now... this makes me wonder, if we got it right. Some questions:

Why do you think you improved better when you train with coach #2? What does coach #1 covers in his lessons vs coach #2?

There could be the possibility that coach #1 is trying to teach you how to dance and is considering the big picture of things, before fixing details/visuals. Coach #2 may just be fixing details that will show right away but will not be as significant in long-term. Hope this makes sense

[samina]

and, as I have said before; sometimes in chemistry...things blow up

i love that analogy when you mention it...good one.

some kinds of chemistry aren't so volatile, tho. some are peaceful... or at least, easy. maybe those just fizzle rather than blow up?

meh... it's tricky business. you can't over-analyze it -- it's an intuitive thing to pick relationships based on chemistry.

[Purr]

I think this is a key point. Coach #2 might be a better teacher, dancer, and coach...and in the long run you might end up getting way more out of lessons with him, but...

If your emotional response to his teaching is getting in the way of your learning, and you're unable (for whatever reason) to ignore that or get past it or handle it, then I think you'd really need to do some serious soul searching to see if you want to continue with him. And your answer could very well be that you do want to continue, despite everything else--I'm not meaning to say that your conclusion is that you should quit with him. Everyone's got different "emotional pain" threshholds.

There is a lot of merit to this line of thinking. If you're consistently miserable in lessons with someone, I'd question continuing. It might be too much of an emotional juggernaut.

[NoDayButToday]

I am just having a big dilema. On one hand I have a coach that is a dream to dance with. I am so looking forward to our lesson and he make me so happy afterwards. I have no romantic feelings for him though it is just that the dancing is sooooo beautiful. However, coach no 1 does not seem to improve me as much (I could be wrong). It is just because we somehow dance so well together my 'bad habits' does not seem to be noticeable at all.

However coach no 2 improve me so much but we does not seem to have that connection. Everytime we dance, every minute little thing seems to be a problem. It is so awkward, worse than when I dance with someone waaaaay less skilled in a group class. I mean we just cant dance together for some reason BUT I feel like I always have something to learn from him because my mistakes are all so pronounced.

I have been taking lesson from these 2 coaches for about the same time so it is not even an adjustment problem !

I have an urge to stop taking lesson from the second coach and add more lesson from the first coach BUT I am worried that I will not improve a lot. Also, I have not tell the first coach that I want to compete so I am going to be too embarassed telling him this and to ask him to help me look out for an am partner.

hmm, tough one. I think I would go to coach #2. It is frustrating when a coach is constantly picking apart your dancing, but it's going to benefit you in the long run. And who knows, the more you take lessons with #2, you'll really improve and finally feel the great chemistry you share with #1.