Pro/Am v Keep Looking for a Partner

[dancingirldancing]

Hi,

I am just wondering if anyone can give me some input.

I have been trying to look for a partner unsuccesfully for a few months now.

Thing is, I dont even get people contacting me to arrange try outs despite numerous ads different websites that I put up.

Thing is, I am not registered dancer I think that is one of the problem.

I mean if I put on Level 4 standard won all the comps etc, probably people will be more inclined to do try out.

Now, coach no 2 asked me to do pro-am.

I am confused now as I really do not want to do pro-am unless I can get an am partner from that.

Could it be possible if I do pro-am and do really well then someone might ask me to be their am partner ?

I mean, doing pro-am may put me out there for people to see my dancing and then maybe considering a partnership with me.

Or is it going to backfire as potential partners may see me as incapable to find an am partner.

I am really confused now. Help !

[fascination]

dancing girl...a fair question and a common dillema...you may want to do a search of the many similar threads we have...though I am sure folks will chime in with an opinion...and a pre-emptive cautionary note; threads of this nature have previously tended to fostoer a divisive and antagonistic dialoque between dancers who dance pro/am vs am/am, so we are going to be very very careful in the way that we answer the OP....thanks

[DanceMentor]

How important is the level?
Are you willing to start with someone that is less experienced and progress over time?

If yes, the number of people available is going to be far more.

[syncopationator]

I think that pro/am will keep you active and you will be more visible at competitions. A partnership can arise from someone that sees you dancing with your pro or vice versa (by virtue of you being at a competition to dance pro/am you might meet a partner).

Personally, I think the best way to find a partner is to go as many group lessons and practices as possible. The more people that see you dancing the higher your chances of finding a partner. And just as important, if not more important, let different pros/coaches know that you are seriously looking for a partner and ask if they can suggest some of their students.

[dancingirldancing]

Personally, I think the best way to find a partner is to go as many group lessons and practices as possible. The more people that see you dancing the higher your chances of finding a partner. And just as important, if not more important, let different pros/coaches know that you are seriously looking for a partner and ask if they can suggest some of their students.


Been there, done that, still doing it. The only problem is most people that go to group classes are there just for social dancing even the 'advanced' ones.

The only issue I have with Pro-Am around here is that normally there are very little competition and the few that do compete does not normally have very high skill. There is no point competing with people that is twice my age and have been dancing for very short time.

I will dance with people who is in lower level and even who has never competed before. It is the other way around when it come to boys though.

Can you accumulate elevation points dancing pro am in Australia ?

[mummsie]

Been there, done that, still doing it. The only problem is most people that go to group classes are there just for social dancing even the 'advanced' ones.

The only issue I have with Pro-Am around here is that normally there are very little competition and the few that do compete does not normally have very high skill. There is no point competing with people that is twice my age and have been dancing for very short time.

I will dance with people who is in lower level and even who has never competed before. It is the other way around when it come to boys though.

Can you accumulate elevation points dancing pro am in Australia ?

No you get no elevation points dancing pro-am in Australia as they are not registered events. - mummsie

[Laura]

I have been trying to look for a partner unsuccesfully for a few months now.
To tell you the truth, if you are woman (and you are), a few months is nothing when it comes to partner search. Don't give up, keep looking. It could take years to find a partner.

Thing is, I dont even get people contacting me to arrange try outs despite numerous ads different websites that I put up.
Have you tried contacting people to ask for try outs?

Thing is, I am not registered dancer I think that is one of the problem.
Do you mean not registered with whatever the Australian dancing society is, or not registered with the web sites you are using? In either case, you can fix this problem by getting registered, can't you? Sure, it might cost you a few dollars, but if you see that you need to do it to get attention, then do it.

I am confused now as I really do not want to do pro-am unless I can get an am partner from that.
You don't sound confused -- you sound like you know what you want, which is to not do Pro/Am except as a away to get exposure so you can find an Amateur partner.

Could it be possible if I do pro-am and do really well then someone might ask me to be their am partner ?
Possible, but not necessarily probable. Why be passive -- are you actively asking people for try-outs? Are you reading ads and answering them? Are you going up to people you see at comps and in the studio and asking them what their dance status is and if they'd be interested in trying out? Are you keeping your "ear to the ground" as to who is together and who is broken up and who is looking and pro-actively emailing guys and asking for try-outs? Just dancing around, especially in Pro/Am, and hoping someone will notice you won't get you very far, to tell you the truth. You may very well need to go out there and make things happen.

I mean, doing pro-am may put me out there for people to see my dancing and then maybe considering a partnership with me.
It might.

Or is it going to backfire as potential partners may see me as incapable to find an am partner.
It might, especially since some people have a rather bad attitude about people, particularly women, who do Pro/Am. But don't let that put you off, because not everyone is like that. And the more you put yourself out there, and the harder you work, the more of a reputation you will build for yourself and a good reputation can only help. Do you practice solo? Do you go to practice/rounds sessions for competitors and practice your routines there on your own? Do people see you in the studio a lot, working on your dancing? That can all help too.

[katen]

I think that previous competition experience is really important to potential competition partners. So, whether it is medallist competition or pro-am competition it will help your chances.
While most group classes are social, not all are - if you join a higher level medal class then you may have more luck too. Also - look for practise partners too. At worst you will have the opportunity to dance "seriously" with people of your own level, at best it may evolve into a competitive partnership.
There's so many ways to learn and enjoy dancesport without competing too - medal exams, studying for coaching qualifications, and so on. Some of those may be worth pursuing too.

[Joe]

Thing is, I dont even get people contacting me to arrange try outs despite numerous ads different websites that I put up.
Sounds like you are being rather passive in your search...

[dancingirldancing]

I am not passive, I have contacted a lot of people on partner ads but for some bizzare reasons no one has even call me back ! So far, I normally contacted them through sms or email. I havent gather enough courage to call :(.

Mind you no one has seen me physically or dancewise so cant really take these things personally.

But I do find it very rude that someone put a partner ads and then ignore me when I respond.

[syncopationator]

Been there, done that, still doing it. The only problem is most people that go to group classes are there just for social dancing even the 'advanced' ones.

The only issue I have with Pro-Am around here is that normally there are very little competition and the few that do compete does not normally have very high skill. There is no point competing with people that is twice my age and have been dancing for very short time.

I will dance with people who is in lower level and even who has never competed before. It is the other way around when it come to boys though.

Can you accumulate elevation points dancing pro am in Australia ?

so yo are in Australia... I don't know how big Pro/Am is there but it doesn't seem like it is very big from what you are saying.

Are you willing to travel for a partnership - as long as its not more than a couple of hours drive of course... that may be the only way.

[Laura]

But I do find it very rude that someone put a partner ads and then ignore me when I respond.
I agree. That has happened to me too, but what can you do? Some men get so many people responding that they just don't even bother unless the woman sounds like she's already a star.

One of my teachers told me that when she was partner hunting she made sure she answered every single person who contacted her, even if it was just to say "thank you for your interest, but I don't want to try out with you, good luck in your search." It would be nice if everyone did that. Like, I emailed someone about two weeks ago who had told a friend of mine he was looking for a partner. I never heard back. I have no idea if he got my mail and is just ignoring me, or if he didn't get it, or what.

[samina]

i've learned there can be a host of reasons why people don't respond. i suggest not taking offense. sometimes people just dont log into those sites very frequently. or who knows what else is going on their lives, or how many emails they have to respond to that night, or week.

bottom line...if it's the right partner for you, he's going to see & notice & respond. if not...my suggestion is not to get distracted by making it about the people you're approaching. just keep moving in the direction you want and a door will open at the right time. there's plenty to work on in the meantime...

[NoDayButToday]

Aw, I wouldn't take offense to it ethier. I think a lot of us have been through this situation. I don't respond back to people who I don't think would be a good match. I'm not trying to be rude, I just don't bother. Facebook is a good place to browse for potential partners if you haven't done that already... All different age groups; all different levels.

[Standarddancer]

I agree with sam & Nodaybuttoday, do not take offense. People have multiple reasons not to respond emails, just can't afford the time.

Do you also note the date of their ads posted? it is possible people found partner already and forgot to delete old ads but never bother to log in the site to check emails.

also, my suggestion is if the price quoted by pro 2 is reasonable and affortable, just do it for some exposure. The more others see you dancing, the more likely you will find tryouts.

Also do you have photos for your ads? a lot of people don't respond to ads if they have no clue who you are, especially guys busy without many inquiries.

[mummsie]

I agree with sam & Nodaybuttoday, do not take offense. People have multiple reasons not to respond emails, just can't afford the time.

Do you also note the date of their ads posted? it is possible people found partner already and forgot to delete old ads but never bother to log in the site to check emails.

also, my suggestion is if the price quoted by pro 2 is reasonable and affortable, just do it for some exposure. The more others see you dancing, the more likely you will find tryouts.

Also do you have photos for your ads? a lot of people don't respond to ads if they have no clue who you are, especially guys busy without many inquiries.

It doesn't cost in Australia to dance with a pro. Because its still a novelty event of sorts here, you usually just get your teacher to dance with you. You pay the entry fee into the comp and you dance :-)

I agree though - its hard to find a partner. My daughter has been looking around for a couple of months and we have put a few feelers out since her husband/dance partner left her but its hard. For every bloke available there is about 30 females - mummsie

[Joe]

But I do find it very rude that someone put a partner ads and then ignore me when I respond.
Happens all the time in the online dating world...why should it be any different in the partner search world?

[samina]

Happens all the time in the online dating world...why should it be any different in the partner search world?

exactly. people take offense in the online dating world as well. they need to get over that. there is no obligation to respond. ever. and that doesn't make anyone rude. just because you sign into such an online community doesn't mean you have to behave like the welcome wagon and dedicate hours to conveying congeniality.

(says she with the circa 30/day DF post count...:tongue:)

[waltzguy]

Try this: Don't approach it so directly. Just dance with someone the best you can. Maybe he'll ask you! If he doesn't, you can ask to practice with him. Being asked to practice is a lot easier to swallow than "hey, do you want a partnership?".

I think a previous person already mentioned about practicing, too.

[cshorte]

i dnno if this kinda of scene exsists where you live but i would suggest going social dancing to get into a/the scene and from there check out the people you like dancing with

if they already have partners thats okay, maybe they know others who are looking that are potential matches

but basically being out there physically and dancing helps you meet other people that may be able to help you much further than an ad as it is much more personal

[cshorte]

Try this: Don't approach it so directly. Just dance with someone the best you can. Maybe he'll ask you! If he doesn't, you can ask to practice with him. Being asked to practice is a lot easier to swallow than "hey, do you want a partnership?".

I think a previous person already mentioned about practicing, too.


I wouldn't wait around for someone to ask though, I perosnally don't think its strange if someone where to ask "hey do you have a partner?" From there if you like dancing with the person (usually a week or two later for me) asking to practice is much easier. If anything if you don't think you'll be seeing the person again, getting personal contact info so you find the person later is much easier than asking the person to practice immediatly.

But I wouldn't ask all this at the same time though because then the questions do become a bit much.

[Gamallan]

I've read through this thread.... I started out in pro/am a little over two years ago and, since day 1, my goal was to find my own partner. So many things about pro/am I found intolerable (fees, expenses but mostly my former pro's ego and his refusal to acknowledge my "capital" as his most successful student).

My former pro always told me I would get nowhere with another amateur, so he was no very supportive of my endeavors. My plan was to dance pro/am through syllabus competitions and to train for open and once I became proficieint in open-work, then I would have a better chance of finding my own partner.

I kept looking for an amateur partner, but, as long as I was dancing pro/am and training with my pro, my amateur partner searches were limited and my one amateur partnership was short lived. That was because in the back of my mind, I didn't really commit to working with another amateur and dealing with the problems and issues specific to am/am dancing. It's a whole new challenge....

Leaving pro/am was a difficult decision I struggled with for a long time because I was afraid that if I quite cold turkey, my progress would slow, I would just become invisible.

After my most successful comp in Argentina last March, quitting pro/am cold turkey is exactly what I did. I went to a new studio and took some lessons with a new pro just to keep up to speed and put the word out I had decided to dance am/am. I took the best guy I could find and went with it. (Gritting my teeth the whole way....).

But it paid off because in three short months, I now have a new partner I'm very happy with. Not as good as my former pro, but the progress is all mine, my results are all mine and not qualified as pro/am results and I am saving a boat-load of money.

So my advice is this: you want to dance am/am and have the skills to dance open-work decently, then go for it. But expect (and be ready to deal with) a rocky road for at least 6 months.

[latingal]

Gamallan, I am curious - and I don't mean to be rude asking, please feel free to decline to answer or use a general age range, but how old are you? As an *ahem* slightly more mature open pro/am student that would someday like to find a am partner of a level some where within throwing distance of my own, I have found it near impossible to find a partner.

[Gamallan]

Gamallan, I am curious - and I don't mean to be rude asking, please feel free to decline to answer or use a general age range, but how old are you? As an *ahem* slightly more mature open pro/am student that would someday like to find a am partner of a level some where within throwing distance of my own, I have found it near impossible to find a partner.

I am 30 years old and, although well within the pro/am A1 age bracket, I have sometimes felt I'm "over the hill" in terms of what I can really do with my dancing.

But being 30 hasn't made it impossible to find an amateur partner, although I do believe my age has limited (and understandably so) the amateur dancers who would ever be interested in dancing with me. Let's face it--I'm not 18 or even 25. That would be ideal :-)

Not a rude question. No offense taken.

[Gamallan]

[quote=Gamallan;594500]

"My former pro always told me I would get nowhere with another amateur, so he was not very supportive of my endeavors."

P.S. And now that I have made the transition to am/am, I think back on all of my former pro's negativity and his view that I would never succeed without him. As Ieva Pauksena said in her retirement letter at Manhattan DS last July, "if someone says you can't, I say: just watch." :cool:

[waltzguy]

[quote=Gamallan;594500]
P.S. And now that I have made the transition to am/am, I think back on all of my former pro's negativity and his view that I would never succeed without him. As Ieva Pauksena said in her retirement letter at Manhattan DS last July, "if someone says you can't, I say: just watch." :cool:


I applaud this. No pro should discourage am/am.

[Joe]

My plan was to dance pro/am through syllabus competitions and to train for open and once I became proficieint in open-work, then I would have a better chance of finding my own partner.
Actually, it's harder to find an open-level amateur partner than it is to find a syllabus-level amateur partner. Obviously if you don't mind going from open-level pro/am to syllabus amateur it's different.

[reb]

If I understand correctly Joe, I think you've got aninteresting point - find an amatuer partner while at the syllabus level and grow together?

[GJB]

[quote=Gamallan;594500] "My former pro always told me I would get nowhere with another amateur, so he was not very supportive of my endeavors."

What was your pro's reasoning? Did he think you would not be able to find an amateur partner talented enough?

[Gamallan]

That's right. I live in NYC, and we have a lot of standard talent in this city! Unfortunately, the majority of amateurs don't spend enough time in syllabus training. My pro kept me in bronze for a year--no matter how many comps I won.... And the same for silver, although I did cross-train between the two levels. To him, open was a whole new realm. I respect that. It's true. But he felt that any "open-level" amateur who would dance with me had so many flaws, was not really an open-level dancer to begin with and should go back to syllabus. In any case, I have found someone totally dedicated, who works on himself like a maniac, dances in the subway, is constantly concerned with alignments and technical stuff that most amateurs just gloss over, so I really am very very happy with my situation. Not easy to find such a good, motivated guy. Sure, he's not as good as my former pro, but with 20 hours of practice a week, fabulous coaching from pros like Schiavo and the best this country has to offer, I am confident things will be just fine. Interestingly enough, with my current partner, I feel I can do almost as much in terms of my dancing, my shapes, and movement as I could with my former pro. Just not as consistently. But consistence comes with oogles of practice.

What I am angry about is the fact that my former pro was an egomaniac and his words conveyed that I was not worthy of ever having a QUALITY amateur partner. Granted, they are few and far between and the good ones have been dancing since the time they could walk, whereas I started my training quite late in life relatively speaking. But where there's a will, there's always a way....

[Joe]

You should have gotten outside opinions...one's own pro is not guaranteed to provide one with an honest opinion, and in fact may have a disincentive to do so.

[wooh]

What was your pro's reasoning? Did he think you would not be able to find an amateur partner talented enough?

Probably that he'd lose his access to Gamallan's pocketbook.

[Gamallan]

I had outside opinions from a lot of people--ams and high-level pros. No one wanted to say anything "bad" about my former pro, but all the while, such people encouraged me to move on....

So in the end, it seems to have worked out just fine. What I like best about am/am is the dedication and level of priority each partner shows the other. The other day, my partner was asked if he could give some lessons, and he said he didn't have time. After work, our practice comes first, he said. In pro/am, I was always arguing about getting enough lesson time, warm up time at a competition, etc. And it was such a drag.....

[tanya_the_dancer]

NYC is a more fertile place to find an am partner compared to some others. So G., even though it worked out great for you, I wouldn't look at it as a typical case.

[Gamallan]

I think you're right, Tanya. But partner searches often take many months, involve travel, negotiations and relocation.

[tanya_the_dancer]

I think you're right, Tanya. But partner searches often take many months, involve travel, negotiations and relocation.

That's why it is not for everyone, in particular the last part. For someone who started dancing later in life, and already has other obligations like family, relocation is usually out of question.

[Gamallan]

Thus the need for pro-am....