Emotional Attached [Archive]

SwingWaltz

10-12-2008, 06:29 AM

fascination

10-12-2008, 08:30 AM

I you like the fact that you haven't had a fight yet...monitor that closely...

samina

10-12-2008, 09:01 AM

harmony is a wonderful thing

Lioness

10-12-2008, 03:41 PM

Do you find yourself emotional attached to your dance partner? It's not nessarily love, but it's not as simple as friendship either, it's hard to explain. I'm feeling a mix of wonderful emotions, I would think of the partner but I can't really explain what it is that I am thinking about. Confused? Me too!

I know what you're talking about. My partner and I get it. We're very good friends, and we understand each other completely. We very very rarely fight.

dbk

10-12-2008, 11:54 PM

Two of my dance partners are good friends, and the third my boyfriend. So yeah, I guess I'm emotionally attached to them. One in particular. ;)

But then, we're not all that serious as far as dancing goes (only collegiate competition) so there's not as much emotional drama to guard against.

Angel HI

10-13-2008, 01:22 AM

Do you find yourself emotional attached to your dance partner? It's not nessarily love, but it's not as simple as friendship either,

It's rather simple, actually. Dance is a different kind of art. Painters paint canvasses; potters sculpt pots; quilters quilt, etc. A dancer is the art...the dancer is the dance. So, when we dance, we are not dealing with an externality, be it; passion (how it touches us emotionally), reaction (how it makes us feel), desire (the will to want more), endorphines (how it affects us physically).

These are all very intimate stimuli. Dance, esp. BR, is very intimate...very sensual...often, very sexy. All of these feel goods...these warm fuzzies are always to/by/with our partners, and can often become confused with the appropriate emotion. Are students really in love w/ their pros, or ams w/ their partners, or are we all just infatuated with the feelings that we receive from dancing?

Dare I say, you are definitely not alone in this one.

elisedance

10-13-2008, 01:35 AM

Nicely written AH - a very complex set of feelings. Perhaps every woman falls a bit 'in love' (for want of a better term) with thier dance pro, if they work long enough together. and I suppose sometimes there is a bit in the reverse direction too (though I doubt its that frequent). I think the thing is not to deny it but to compartmentalize it as a part of your dance partnership and not get deluded that its anything more than the dance itself. If you can pull that off the dancing becomes just that bit more genuine.

Angel HI

10-13-2008, 01:48 AM

Nicely written AH - a very complex set of feelings.
I think the thing is not to deny it but to compartmentalize it as a part of your dance partnership and not get deluded that its anything more than the dance itself.

Merci, but, though "compartmentalize" is a good word, one should not be so recessed to delusion either. many successul romances have been borned of succssful partnerships. http://smileys.smilchat.net/smileys/music/rocknroll2gif.gif

elisedance

10-13-2008, 01:55 AM

yes - but I hazzard to guess that many more have been delusional on one side or tother :) I think safest to assume that the 'relationship' is solely a dance one until there is proof of anything further - and then I would still be a bit sceptical.

samina

10-13-2008, 02:15 AM

My thoughts on it...

There is genuine interplay between male & female energies in good partnership dancing. It is primal and feels good on a deep level. No avoiding it if there is connection & harmony. But it only has the *meaning* that the individual or couple give it. And if we're feeling romantically, sensually, or sexually needy, it's easy to project meaning onto it that isn't backed up by compatibility and shared purpose. Same thing if our concept of "relationship" is limited and we think that those feelings must ipso-facto "mean" something more than just being a positive experience, however wonderful and open-hearted in the moment.

But us humans generally being confused about what we want, it's easy to get confused by these feelings...ergo the plethora of threads like this. :)

quixotedlm

10-13-2008, 04:01 AM

you are in love. and you are in denial.

elisedance

10-13-2008, 05:55 AM

Or you are not in love but wish you were...

SwingWaltz

10-13-2008, 06:22 AM

you are in love. and you are in denial.

Or you are not in love but wish you were...

:rolleyes:

Standarddancer

10-13-2008, 09:35 AM

Just enjoy the extended honeymoon:)

chachachacat

10-13-2008, 02:08 PM

And lay off the married people!!! (My former husband was stolen, not to mention other attempted steals by students and partners!)

elisedance

10-13-2008, 02:28 PM

Standarddancer

10-13-2008, 03:07 PM

so chachachacat, your former husband is a dance teacher? sorry for what you've been through. "hug"

rumblefish

10-13-2008, 05:53 PM

'Infatuation' perhaps more than love is what may be initially experienced. But love can grow out of that one, too.

quixotedlm

10-13-2008, 10:56 PM

Much as I sympathyse with what you must have gone through, is it really possible to steal someone? Either they want to stay or they don't.... 'Stolen' has connotations of 'posession' - exactly what women fought against for hundreds of years (and still have to in some parts of the world).

people in relationships are often possessions just the same. never mind the women's libbers.. :p

WaltzElf

10-13-2008, 11:00 PM

Much as I sympathyse with what you must have gone through, is it really possible to steal someone? Either they want to stay or they don't.... 'Stolen' has connotations of 'posession' - exactly what women fought against for hundreds of years (and still have to in some parts of the world).

What's wrong with belonging to one another?

Sometimes I wonder if feminism isn't just bitter women out to kill romance for everyone. ;)

elisedance

10-14-2008, 12:30 AM

I see what you mean - but in the current context its how you define 'belong'.

Its lovely when you see a couple that 'belong together' - meaning they were naturally made for each other. Its not so nice if one partner belongs legally to the other. That is Partner A can do what they like but partner B will suffer if they do anything that is not approved by Partner A . Ownership of property often goes hand in hand with this - up to not so long ago a man could obviously own property but since a wife was his posession, everything she owned prior to marriage became his. etc

I assume you mean the former not the latter with 'belong to'? :)

chachachacat

10-14-2008, 12:34 AM

There's appropropriate behavior and inappropriate. Temptation with consistent intent is unfair. You wouldn't believe the lengths some people will go to! Some people don't respect marriage.

No, I never "owned" him. I didn't say that. I don't think you can even own a cat.
But his cat stayed with me 'til the end.

Laura

10-14-2008, 12:42 AM

But his cat stayed with me 'til the end.
I've been with one of my cats for 15 years. My marriage only lasted 11. No wonder why some women turn into "cat ladies." :)

I did have a mild crush on one of my teachers for a while when I was married, but it was just the "I can feel my blood pumping" kind of thing, absolutely nothing more than that. It was cute and made me look forward to lessons. It faded over time.

elisedance

10-14-2008, 01:09 AM

There's appropropriate behavior and inappropriate. Temptation with consistent intent is unfair. You wouldn't believe the lengths some people will go to! Some people don't respect marriage.

It is awful and it is wrong for the 'lurers' for surely marriage is the biggest sign we have for 'don't touch'. Yet ultimately its the straying partner that takes that responds, that takes the step.

Angel HI

10-14-2008, 02:46 AM

http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/sign/sign0006.gif (http://www.mysmiley.net/freesmiley.php?smiley=sign/sign0006.gif)

elisedance

10-14-2008, 06:14 AM

yes we are indeed - oops... unfortunately, we can't edit or delete old posts any more

BUt getting back to the story - does it ever happen that unscrupulous pros that fake emotional attachment to retain am customers?

fascination

10-14-2008, 06:47 AM

that isn't the topic either...so if you want to probe that please start a thread on it...though I sincerely hope you won't...

elisedance

10-14-2008, 06:57 AM

[yes, you're right. I was trying to get back on track but seems I blew a tire somewhere...]

fascination

10-14-2008, 07:04 AM

we all blow tires...no harm no foul

Terpsichorean Clod

10-14-2008, 07:15 AM

that isn't the topic either...so if you want to probe that please start a thread on it...though I sincerely hope you won't...
Don't worry, fasc. There's no need to start a new thread. If I recall correctly, there are old ones I can dig up. :)

SwingWaltz

10-14-2008, 07:21 AM

I see what you mean - but in the current context its how you define 'belong'.

Wow Elisedance, you've been here yourself haven't you?

It does feel like we are "built" for eachother in terms of dance partner, and nothing we do is beyond what we naturally want! That is exactly why the partnership is working so well at the moment because everything is like one person's opinion is the exact duplicate of the others. Perfect match! Hence I think this is why dancing is particularly enjoyable, and often emotional attachment is associated with enjoyable feelings. :D May the feelings develop and flourish! :rolleyes:

fascination

10-14-2008, 07:39 AM

Don't worry, fasc. There's no need to start a new thread. If I recall correctly, there are old ones I can dig up. :)
I stand corrected...and now, BOT...so glad it is working for you swing waltz

elisedance

10-14-2008, 07:57 AM

Wow Elisedance, you've been here yourself haven't you?

It does feel like we are "built" for eachother in terms of dance partner, and nothing we do is beyond what we naturally want! That is exactly why the partnership is working so well at the moment because everything is like one person's opinion is the exact duplicate of the others. Perfect match! Hence I think this is why dancing is particularly enjoyable, and often emotional attachment is associated with enjoyable feelings. :D May the feelings develop and flourish! :rolleyes:

Yes, as long as your partner is not married to someone else :)
[not that mine is....]

SwingWaltz

10-14-2008, 08:32 AM

Yes, as long as your partner is not married to someone else :)
[not that mine is....]

We're too young to be married.

*Start singing* You are 19 going on 20, baby it's time to think......:tongue:

Standarddancer

10-14-2008, 09:15 AM

ok SwingWaltz, give it a try another few weeks or months (years), and please post back, hope everything still going well;)

danceronice

10-14-2008, 01:54 PM

Don't worry, fasc. There's no need to start a new thread. If I recall correctly, there are old ones I can dig up. :)

OT again, but you're starting to impress/scare me with your apparently total recall of every thread on this board! Sure you're not a computer?

OT, good for you, SwingWaltz, and I hope it KEEPS going well. Don't overanalyze, just be happy you've got something that works.

Standarddancer

10-14-2008, 02:28 PM

Terpsichorean Clod can dig up anything on this board :):):)

elisedance

10-14-2008, 02:40 PM

Terpsichorean Clod can dig up anything on this board :):):)

oh dear... :eek:

WaltzElf

10-15-2008, 12:53 AM

I know exactly how you feel SwingWaltz.

It's a wonderful thing, but just be careful, it can also become a very painful thing very quickly.

SwingWaltz

10-15-2008, 01:37 AM

Yep, WaltzElf.....I know where you are coming from.

Terpsichorean Clod

10-15-2008, 12:35 PM

OT again, but you're starting to impress/scare me with your apparently total recall of every thread on this board! Sure you're not a computer?
My directive instructs me to inform you that I am a human.