Talk To Us Ladies

[Stuart]

As a very new recruit to the world of salsa ( and indeed Dance) a plea to female partners.
Ladies talk to us let us know where we are going wrong I know we are meant to lead but some encouragement is appreciated.
My favourite experienced partner always takes time to point out where Im going wrong and makes useful suggestions, making the whole experience more enjoyable.
Ladies remember we newbies are like rabbits caught in car headlights - scared stiff help us and be gentle.
On the whole tho the world of salsa seems to be so friendly and welcoming and im only sorry iI didnt find it earlier

[Pacion]

Welcome Stuart! Nice to see another "Brit" here. We need all the moral support we can get - these americans, if left to them, it would be another Boston Tea Party all over again :lol:

Oh, and welcome to the world of salsa :!: :banana: How did you get started?

[SDsalsaguy]

Welcome to the Forums Stuart... and to salsa!!! :D

[Stuart]

thanks for the welcome all

how did i get started. Well with two young kids lif seemed to be a series of cubs swimming lessons ballet classes etc etc. Wife decided we should have some time to ourselves so she suggested a course. I said go ahead book it up expecting car mechanics or carpentry or something like that. She then informed me it was salsa.I was dragged screaming and kicking to first class but much to my amazement loved every second of it. The rest as they say is history now i listen to latin music every day and live for my next class.

[SDsalsaguy]

:lol: ...well, life has a funny way of leading us into things, doesn't it? :lol:

[squirrel]

:) welcome Stuart!
now, as a reply to your post, I (being a follower) apply the following "policy":
1. during dance classes, if I am the teacher (I have a school), I point out to the leaders what exactly they do wrong.
2. during dance classes, if I am NOT the teacher, I am just there to see somebody else's class or have been invited to join by the teacher, I DO NOT interfere with their lesson. I have probably a different style and, anyway, I am not there to correct anyone...
3. sometimes I try back-leading (if and when it works).
4. I NEVER correct ANYBODY in a club! We are there to dance and have fun, not to take and give lessons. If asked, I give some hints and that's it! Sometimes, I do correct my dance partner or guys I'm very friendly with... 'cause I know they would not mind... but otherwise, I think it's better to let each professor teach his students and not interfere... and if they want lessons from me, ok, if not, ok again!

[MacMoto]

Welcome to DF, Stuart! Great to hear you are enjoying your classes.
Ladies talk to us let us know where we are going wrong I know we are meant to lead but some encouragement is appreciated.
My favourite experienced partner always takes time to point out where Im going wrong and makes useful suggestions, making the whole experience more enjoyable.
Ladies remember we newbies are like rabbits caught in car headlights - scared stiff help us and be gentle.
When I dance with beginners, I don't comment on where they are going wrong unless I'm asked for advice on specific problems they are having. Neither do I back-lead or try to teach a move. I usually stick to lots of smile and encouragement ("don't look so worried, just enjoy yourself", "everybody here was a beginner once, it takes time", "your lead for that move was very good", "you've got a good sense of rhythm") and make a suggestion only when the guy says something along the lines of "I'm a beginner -- help!", in which case I only make one suggestion on something most noticeable and not too difficult to correct. It's easy to overload beginners with information, which I fear may scare them off. My aim when I dance with a beginner is to make sure he leaves feeling good and welcomed, wanting to come back for more (we have a serious leader shortage around here -- we need as many male beginners as we can get :wink:). Perhaps other ladies in your area have a similar approach? If advice is what you want, make sure you ask.

[dancin/dj]

:) welcome Stuart!
now, as a reply to your post, I (being a follower) apply the following "policy":
1. during dance classes, if I am the teacher (I have a school), I point out to the leaders what exactly they do wrong.
2. during dance classes, if I am NOT the teacher, I am just there to see somebody else's class or have been invited to join by the teacher, I DO NOT interfere with their lesson. I have probably a different style and, anyway, I am not there to correct anyone...
3. sometimes I try back-leading (if and when it works).
4. I NEVER correct ANYBODY in a club! We are there to dance and have fun, not to take and give lessons. If asked, I give some hints and that's it! Sometimes, I do correct my dance partner or guys I'm very friendly with... 'cause I know they would not mind... but otherwise, I think it's better to let each professor teach his students and not interfere... and if they want lessons from me, ok, if not, ok again! well said :wink:

[dancin/dj]

welcome stuart,if you decide to go to the mechanic class also let me know ,i could always use a good mechanic,just kidding 8)

[borikensalsero]

Welcome stuart!!!

Happy to hear the salsa bug has stung you. However, I must warn you, it gets even more addicting! Just wait a couple of months. God, oh God, watch out for stuart forgetting about his mechanics class and skipping straight to the club to dance the night out. :D :D

Lovely!!!

Well, as far as advice, it isn't the "norm" to give unsolicited advice at a club. However, if you kindly ask, many are willing to give you hints, and advise... I believe, for the most part, to be easier for us to ask, than for the lady to give "unsolicited" advise.

[Sabor]

hello stuart!

allow me to join voices with u! :wink:

yes ladies YES! talk to us! smile at us! have dinner with us! let us be your teddy bears! :lol: :lol:

[Danish Guy]

Wellcome Stuart!

I like feedback during classes too, and sometime ask.
My luck was two ladies in class helping getting the lead right.

The important things for a beginner lead are timing, timing and timing.
Never use force, with the right timing, you can train that smooth gentle lead.

[MacMoto]

The important things for a beginner lead are timing, timing and timing.
Never use force, with the right timing, you can train that smooth gentle lead.
That's a really good piece of advice, Danish Guy. A very important point.

[SDsalsaguy]

The important things for a beginner lead are timing, timing and timing.
Never use force, with the right timing, you can train that smooth gentle lead.
That's a really good piece of advice, Danish Guy. A very important point.
Ditto :!:

[MapleLeaf Salsero]

The important things for a beginner lead are timing, timing and timing.
Never use force, with the right timing, you can train that smooth gentle lead.
That's a really good piece of advice, Danish Guy. A very important point.
Ditto :!:

Wellcome Stuart!!

I agree with Danish Guy, correct timing and a smooth gentle lead are very important. I´d just like to point out though that some beginner salseras are very hard to "move"... :wink: It´s like dancing with a tractor (sorry girls, couldn´t resist...). :wink:

[Pacion]

I said go ahead book it up expecting car mechanics or carpentry or something like that.

:roll: :doh: :nope: Just like a man! :lol:

I was dragged screaming and kicking to first class but much to my amazement loved every second of it. The rest as they say is history now i listen to latin music every day and live for my next class.

Soooooo! Enquiring minds would like to know! Did you buy your wife flowers or a present for introducing you to one of the best AND legal highs one can have :lol:

[Sagitta]

I agree with Danish Guy, correct timing and a smooth gentle lead are very important. I´d just like to point out though that some beginner salseras are very hard to "move"... :wink: It´s like dancing with a tractor (sorry girls, couldn´t resist...). :wink:

But it is true!! :o

There are girls who do LA style only, those who only do cuban style, those who only break on 2, those who jump all over the place like wild animals trying to get free, girls who are into argentine tango and are only truly happy with dancing salsa with a tanguero (You can tell who is one!!), ballroom dancers who can only do ballroom mambo/salsa....those who are wonderful follows and make dancing with you magical...each dance is an adventure...tis' what it is all about!!

[MacMoto]

yes ladies YES! talk to us! smile at us! have dinner with us! let us be your teddy bears! :lol: :lol:
Sabor :nope: :roll: :roll:

* We really really do need a raised eyebrow emoticon...

[Haz]

yes ladies YES! talk to us! smile at us! have dinner with us! let us be your teddy bears! :lol: :lol:

Come and get your very own Salsa Bear!
Only 199£ per month!

Limited time only - The Salsa Bear comes in full flashy purple outfit.


http://nexus.carleton.ca/~cjmuise/images/bear.jpg



(ya, I'll go practice now and stop playing with paint...)

[MacMoto]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
I think I might take up the offer!

[pygmalion]

:shock: :lol: :lol:

That's hilarious, Haz!

[Stuart]

Overwhelmed with the number of responses you are a friendly lot in here...... :D . thanks for all the advice and even the sales pitch lol :D

[borikensalsero]

lol... Can I have 2 of those teddy bears????? Is purple the only color you offer?

[Haz]

lol... Can I have 2 of those teddy bears????? Is purple the only color you offer?

For the next 30 minutes, order 2 Purple Salsa Bears and get the Sassy Black T-Shirted Salsa Bear for just 99£. You heard right folks. Just 99£ more and this Cuddly On-2 Salsa machine could be yours!!

http://nexus.carleton.ca/~cjmuise/images/bear2.jpg

Call now!!!!

*Only Mastercard accepted*
*While supplies last*
*Shipping and salsera not included*

[borikensalsero]

Haz, Let me say this first, I think you are going to be one heck of a dancer. The way you speak of it, the questions you ask, and the desire you have shown in your actions, only tell me that one day you are going to be the MAN....

Now, you are funny as heck!! lol lol

Man, I'll take two of those purple teddy bears, just so I can get the sassy one. lol... how much would that be in American dollars?

[Sabor]

yes ladies YES! talk to us! smile at us! have dinner with us! let us be your teddy bears! :lol: :lol:
Sabor :nope: :roll: :roll:

* We really really do need a raised eyebrow emoticon...

[singing] baby let me be .. you're loving teddy bear
put a chain around my neck .. and lead me anywhere
oh just let me be... your teddy beaaaaaar! [singing] :bandit:

[Haz]

Haz, Let me say this first, I think you are going to be one heck of a dancer. The way you speak of it, the questions you ask, and the desire you have shown in your actions, only tell me that one day you are going to be the MAN....

Now, you are funny as heck!! lol lol

Thanks a ton man. You just totally made my day....oh and the comment about my dancing future was nice too....hehe j/k, but seriously the encouragement means a lot. Just trying to figure out why I haven't been on the dancing scene all these years...feels like I missed out on years of potential salsa :( . But theres still time to train to be as sassy as youngsta 8) .

Man, I'll take two of those purple teddy bears, just so I can get the sassy one. lol... how much would that be in American dollars?

At current rates, it comes to about $532.26USD+shipping and handling. :wink:

[singing] baby let me be .. you're loving teddy bear
put a chain around my neck .. and lead me anywhere
oh just let me be... your teddy beaaaaaar! [singing]

I'll buy you a beer the first time we meet (figure I need to visit the states at some point in my life eh?) if you tape yourself dancing to that....2 beer if its on 2 or 4 :twisted: .

[MacMoto]

[singing] baby let me be .. you're loving teddy bear
put a chain around my neck .. and lead me anywhere
No no no, you lead, I can only follow. :lol:

[Pacion]

I'll buy you a beer the first time we meet (figure I need to visit the states at some point in my life eh?) if you tape yourself dancing to that....2 beer if its on 2 or 4 :twisted: .

And I will be fainting in a corner :lol:

[peachexploration]

ROTFL. Teddy Bears....Absolutely hilarious! :lol: :lol:

[Sabor]

[singing] baby let me be .. you're loving teddy bear
put a chain around my neck .. and lead me anywhere
oh just let me be... your teddy beaaaaaar! [singing]

I'll buy you a beer the first time we meet (figure I need to visit the states at some point in my life eh?) if you tape yourself dancing to that....2 beer if its on 2 or 4 :twisted: .

LOL.. Haz, certainly an interesting bet .. but i think your gona lose this one :wink: .. oh! and i'm not in the US.. to many 'sabor' dancers there already.. we need to even the scales up a bit dont u think? 8) .. but if u ever plan on visiting the land of the Nile and the Pyramids.. i 'll certainly accept that bet :wink:

[jamaicanspice]

When I dance with beginners, I don't comment on where they are going wrong unless I'm asked for advice on specific problems they are having. Neither do I back-lead or try to teach a move. I usually stick to lots of smile and encouragement ("don't look so worried, just enjoy yourself", "everybody here was a beginner once, it takes time", "your lead for that move was very good", "you've got a good sense of rhythm") and make a suggestion only when the guy says something along the lines of "I'm a beginner -- help!", in which case I only make one suggestion on something most noticeable and not too difficult to correct. It's easy to overload beginners with information, which I fear may scare them off. My aim when I dance with a beginner is to make sure he leaves feeling good and welcomed, wanting to come back for more

DITTO!! I do this too.....and if they can't get the timing right I usually take over the lead just so they can 'feeel' the movement and then when they 'get it' I give them back the lead :lol: if that doesn't work then I try to create a visual with words...using something commonplace to describe the movement and not the steps (cause sometimes they get confused with the terminologies :? ) and that has worked at times!! it all boils down though to making them feel comfortable. I've never had a guy ask me to dance and especially one who is not well versed in salsa...leave the floor with a frown on his face. I remember what it was like when I first started dancing and I try to keep that in mind when I'm teaching someone. :)

[jamaicanspice]

Welcome Stuart! Nice to see another "Brit" here. We need all the moral support we can get - these americans, if left to them, it would be another Boston Tea Party all over again :lol: Oh, and welcome to the world of salsa :!: :banana: How did you get started?

Welcome to DF from the island of Jamaica Stuart...glad to see you've joined the ranks of the beloved Salsaholics Are Us.....it's the next best thing to....*cough! cough! cough!* :cough: scuse me...*ahem*

:shock: @Pacion: heeeeyyyyy....what about me!!! :roll: not everyone here is from the States :sniff: come on!!! where's the support for the Jamaican salseros/as?? :D

[jamaicanspice]

Man, I'll take two of those purple teddy bears, just so I can get the sassy one. lol... how much would that be in American dollars?

I'll take the same order but I need the JAMAICAN equivalent :D anything for that sassy salsero in black :wink: :twisted:

[jamaicanspice]

Salsa con Sabor, por Favor


si :wink: :D

[dancin_feet]

I guess I'm with most here. I won't tell anyone where they are going wrong unless asked. Otherwise you could be seen as a bit of a pain in the butt and scare all the beginners off.

If asked, I'll offer suggestions. If someone doesn't know the dance I'll ask if they are interested in learning before dragging them up on the floor.

Mostly it's encouragement and patience that I offer to beginners. They need to practice to get better, so I may as well give them as much practice as possible! :D

[danceguy]

I can't believe I missed this thread...funny stuff! :lol:

I really appreciated the ladies' comments here, its such a turn off for a beginner lead to have someone tell them what they are doing wrong without asking (espcially being rude about it)...these days that gets the Salsera an instant mark on my greylist...last time I'll ask her to dance! :shock: :?

I danced a few with a lady last night who was new to Salsa and dancing in general. She openly asked me for pointers, and the first thing I said was "look up at me and smile!"...it was amazing to see how her face lit up after that. :P

SG

[Sagitta]

Actually I do ask ladies to look at me, without any solicitation. I find it extremely off-putting to have someone staring at the floor or out into space. Of course, I don't put it in those terms exactly...for instance, I'm so unhappy with a make believe unhappy face...she asks why...you seem so far away... or what's going on down theer, or over there, she asks why...I say something interesting seems to be going on since you are so drawn to it... many different ways of doing it depending on the person, but I must get some face time. :)

[jamaicanspice]

I can't believe I missed this thread...funny stuff! :lol: I really appreciated the ladies' comments here, its such a turn off for a beginner lead to have someone tell them what they are doing wrong without asking (espcially being rude about it)...these days that gets the Salsera an instant mark on my greylist...last time I'll ask her to dance! :shock: :? I danced a few with a lady last night who was new to Salsa and dancing in general. She openly asked me for pointers, and the first thing I said was "look up at me and smile!"...it was amazing to see how her face lit up after that. :P SG

so when do I get to dance with you :D

[jamaicanspice]

Actually I do ask ladies to look at me, without any solicitation. I find it extremely off-putting to have someone staring at the floor or out into space. Of course, I don't put it in those terms exactly...for instance, I'm so unhappy with a make believe unhappy face...she asks why...you seem so far away... or what's going on down theer, or over there, she asks why...I say something interesting seems to be going on since you are so drawn to it... many different ways of doing it depending on the person, but I must get some face time. :)

same question to scorpionguy goes for you too 8)

[Sagitta]

I'm actually looking forward to meeting and dancin' with you and other df members. Just warning you before hand that I am a raw beginner. Lots of rough edges. :wink: :) It's all in the Lord's hands.

Right now I have 14 hours of vacation only, and I'm supposed to go down to NY city last weekend of June to help my sister move. Probably another lost opportunity to meet NY dfers as I hate moving and it's going to put me in a bad mood...we'll see.

[danceguy]

so when do I get to dance with you?

One of these days! Like Sagitta I am also a beginner, so I don't think I could spin you 24 times! :D

Actually though, one night I spun a lady over and over as I walked in a circle the opposite way...maybe 10+ times? I'm working on becoming a smooth lead these days...I rarely even lead women through double spins anymore. I'll save that stuff for NY or LA... :lol:

Do you ever come to the states? I don't know if I'll ever find myself in Jamaica...but who knows?!? :wink:

SG

[jamaicanspice]

Do you ever come to the states? I don't know if I'll ever find myself in Jamaica...but who knows?!?

oh yeh I do and fairly often too :D I was just there in January of this year. I usually stay in Florida though.....I'm hoping to make it to NY end of this year so wish me luck! :lol:

[DanceAm]

"4. I NEVER correct ANYBODY in a club! We are there to dance and have fun, not to take and give lessons. If asked, I give some hints and that's it! Sometimes, I do correct my dance partner or guys I'm very friendly with... 'cause I know they would not mind... but otherwise, I think it's better to let each professor teach his students and not interfere... and if they want lessons from me, ok, if not, ok again!"


In my experience as a dancer, this is the best advice. I had one of my instructors ask why I don't ask her to dance very much at social parties, and I said it was because I always felt I was being tested. Even though she didn't correct me then, my next lesson was always about what I did wrong at the last social dance. It stuck in my mind that she wasn't dancing with me, she was evaluating me. She actually said she was, but that wasn't the point, she still liked to dance with me. My point was that if she wasn't simply enjoying it, I couldn't just enjoy it myself. I am glad those days are behind me now. But unsolicited advice could do more damage that good. Confidence for the man is just as important as knowing what he is doing. If the man loses his confidence, the dancing will get worse.

[Sagitta]

I agree DanceAm. Confidence is important, and not only for the man/leader, but for both dancers. It definitely makes a big difference. :)