Ever caught up with that 'one true crush' of your life....?

[salsachinita]

We ALL have one.

THAT one true crush we had in highschool/childhood/etc. The one we were so sure that if we didn't talk to them, we'd die......but when they talked to us, we died.....!

Than years later, they reappeared. Of course, being older and (supposedly) wiser from life experience, you.......

Your turn to finish the sentence/story 8) ........

*Disclaimer: this is NOT a game. Enquiring minds want to hear your experience/stories :wink: *

[pygmalion]

Oh, salsachinita. You would ask on a morning when I'm feeling vulnerable. Okay, so, I won't go into detail; I'll just give a thumbnail sketch.

I had an eight-year relationship with my high school sweetheart. Lots of conflict, on and off, but I think we both always believed that we'd end up together. Anyway, he became a cop; I went to college. And our relationship slowly died. He undermined my self-confidence SO MUCH to start, and even more as I became more successful in life. Poor guy. After years of this low-level abuse (and assertiveness training LOL) I dumped him. I literally thought I would die. I lost thirty-five pounds -- just couldn't eat for months.

It's been a long, long time, now. The last time I saw him was at the wedding of a mutual friend. He's happily married now, with two kids. Still a cop. And the funny thing is, I felt nothing in my heart for him but friendship, nostalgia, and, in a way, love. That old puppy love, though, not the mature love I've come to experience as a woman. That sweet, innocent love I felt for him all those years ago. (Incidentally, I was glad to see that his wife was dumpily dressed, and way overweight. LOL. I may be mature, but I can still be petty. :oops: :lol: )

He wasn't such a bad guy. He was just intimidated by me, but didn't have the words to tell me.

Much love, KW. You'll always be my first love. :kissme:

[salsachinita]

Thankyou for sharing, Jenn :D !

You are a champ. You Go girl!

[Kitty]

.We ALL have one.

one true crush we had in highschool/childhood/etc. The one we were so sure that if we didn't talk to them, we'd die......but when they talked to us, we died.....!

Than years later, they reappeared. Of course, being older and (supposedly) wiser from life experience, you.......

You may not believe me, but I don't remember a single true crush like what you are describing. I remember I had a crush (for a few weeks) on the first guy who kissed me. I had shivering around my spine. We couldn't date as we lived too far apart from each other, I was there for 3 weeks, and then we've never seen each other again.

I guess I'm such a courageous person - I've never been afraid to talk to anyone. Is that bad?

I'm in love with my boyfriend, but I have never been afraid to talk to him, except I could never ask him to dance with me.

[pygmalion]

No disrespect intended, Kitty, but you're very young. By the time you get to be old and grizzled, like me, you may have experienced the feeling. I can't honestly say whether that's good or bad; those crushes can hurt like crazy. The memories may be sweet, but living through the heartbreak, well ... Let me just say there's a reason they call it heartbreak.

[Kitty]

No disrespect intended, Kitty, but you're very young.

But wasn't the question about highschool/childhood?
I'm in college.

Also, I don't think I was in love much when I was in highschool, I was a workaholic. It is now that I care about dancing and boyfriend and stuff...

It is a common thing when people talk about crashes and being scared to talk to somebody and I have not experienced that. I always wonder why am I different?

[pygmalion]

It's different with everybody. If/when it is meant to be, you'll feel it. :? :) *shrug*

[salsachinita]

Kitty, I've always been one of those that go and tell my interests that I like them.......they usually go :shock: .

Then I'd get a quick answer on whether they like me or not 8) .....instead of sitting wondering.

[spatten]

Kitty, I've always been one of those that go and tell my interests that I like them.

If only there were more like you, I think there would be about a gizillion more happy relationships.

Scott

PS - At different times in my life, I have tried both methods (telling them immeadiately, or not) with varied success either way.

[danceguy]

Ok, sharing time. :)

I've had so many crushes that I've lost count, but I remember one in particular from when I was in college...I was very much a late bloomer and like Kitty had shared, it was the first person who had really kissed me (those little pecks after a date don't count in my book!). :P

I met her in class...and firstly thought she was kind of annoying...but something about her voice just left me in a catatonic stupor. I've always been an expert and tuning out and ignoring women...honestly a troup of naked swimsuit models could walk by me and I could completely shut myself off and ignore them like they were toads.

But this woman...whatever emotional and/or physical shielding I had was to no effect...reminds of that Star Trek episode where the bad guy walks through the force field...she did the same! I tried and tried to get her out of my mind...but I suddenly developed a crush on her that turned my world upside down...what to do? To this day many years later I have yet to have a crush like that on anyone. :oops:

One day a few weeks into the semester I was leaving class and she ended up walking right next to me...and as we turned to leave at the bottom of the stairwell she asked me what I was doing for the weekend. I just froze and said "oh nothing much,", and she retorted back with a "oh, I see! Have fun then!" and then strode off looking very angry...:roll:

Sure enough, about a minute later it hit me...she wanted me to ask her out and I didn't see it for the sun. I went home and called my best friend and told him exactly what happened, and he replied with "you idiot! That girl really likes you!"...ugh...who would've ever thought...:?

A few days later she wasn't in class....heard she was sick and I felt at a loss. However, I then noticed that the teacher had passed out a contact form for everyone in class...and her phone number was on it. I struggled for about 15 seconds about calling her and seeming like a creep...but finally I called and it would be an understatement to say that she was glad to hear from me. :D

So...we shared a few calls and emails...she dropped by to see me at work but no formal date developed, though it was in the works...

Eventually she called one day and said she had "missed the bus"...so I went by to pick up her up and she got into my car and just sat there...staring off into space and looking very nervous. I finally had enough of this monkey business so I just leaned over and kissed her...and well I don't need to go into details about what happened later that evening. ;)

However, it was an ill-fated romance with a very quick ending, and by the next day everything fell apart. I soon was to find she had just broken up with another guy and had used me as a rebound...and things got ugly between us and I lost a lot of friends who were close to her ex...ack...what a bad semester that was! And of course being an idiot...I ended up dating another girl from the same class...but that's another story from another day...8)

Funny, as I'm sitting here typing this and listening to the radio...the last two songs were "Maneater", "Run Around Sue" and now its "Love in an Elevator" by Aerosmith. :shock: ;)

Perfect songs to remember such a woman...true it never got anywhere or amounted to much...but you know I do have some great memories that I'll always keep with me. So thank you dearie...wherever you are. :P

Best,

SG

[Genesius Redux]

I hope this isn't supposed to be a girl's only topic.

You just never feel the same way that you feel when you're sixteen. I met her at music camp--she was going through a breakup and I was too. She had thick, shoulder-length blonde hair and eyes that were dark blue-grey. She played the flute.

I saw her for the first time at the first concert. She was with a friend, and I was with a friend. We went over and sat next to them. And they got up and moved. But she'd occasionally hear me practicing, and she'd listen for a while. That was when I was in my sensitive white boy musician style before I saw the light and got down with bebop and started playing my horn like the mack truck it ought to be. But what can I say? I was 16 and I thought I should be a sensitive white boy.

We began hanging out with the same friends. She seemed sad a lot (she was going through the tensions with her boyfriend and someone else at the camp was writing to her), but apparently I could make her laugh. So that was good. I found her crying one afternoon--she'd just gotten a letter from the boyfriend and I talked to her about all afternoon. I was very attracted to her but I didn't say anything because she seemed to be hurting. We became friends, and I told her about all the stuff that I was dealing with too.

The first night I kissed her we had come back from a concert. She was wearing jeans and a gray wool sweater. The moon was full and we took a walk away from everyone else. We stood on the patio of the stone admin building and looked out at the night and the city below us. It was chilly and she pulled closer to me and our voices fell into whispers. We said inconsequential things while we leaned in to each other. I remember the warmth of her forehead and the way her hair brushed my face, and her scent. And I kissed her. It was the first kiss of my life that ever meant anything.

She came to visit at me at my parent's house later in the summer, and I stayed in the guest room while she stayed in my room (which took up much of the bottom of the house and had a door opening directly onto the back yard). After my parents had gone to sleep, I stole downstairs, and we made out in the yellow light of the stereo to Styx and Meatloaf and Queen. She was my first, and I was hers. For a long time, it seemed, we just touched and caressed, nothing explicitly sexual. Just sort of exploring each other, fingers and hair, the lines of our bodies.

Nothing is quite like it is at 16. It's been many years now, but I can still remember nearly every detail as though it were yesterday. Later that year she was my date to the prom, but there were things about me that I felt we couldn't talk about--things that went beyond the stuff of romance, that touched on career, self-image, the way I wanted to interact with the world. I couldn't talk about it with her that night--and so I remained stupidly silent. She never knew what I couldn't say to her. I never knew it. I still don't.

We fell out of touch--after I went to college, we seemed to have less to talk about. We never officially broke up--I think my silence broke her heart.

I don't know what I'd say if I saw her again. That I was sorry. I was stupid and foolish. I had aspirations in the abstract that were more important to me than the realities in front of me. Maybe it would have ended anyway--probably it would have. But I wish I could have told her who I thought I was, who I was trying to be. Who can at 16?

Right now, thinking about her, writing about her, I think I've fallen in love with her all over again. Remember that thread about the genie in the bottle? My wishes? If I could have anything right now, I think it would be one dance with Jessie.

[spatten]

and we made out in the yellow light of the stereo to Styx and Meatloaf and Queen


Well, you get the good music seal of approval from this guy. It makes me wonder what the 16yrs olds ( I almost caught myself writing "kids") make out to these days? Guess it isn't "More Than This."

Funny, I momentarily tried to think of a Meatloaf song that would make a good dance number - then quickly corrected myself and decided making out was a much more appropiate Meatloaf activity.

Scott

[etchuck]

I don't know... I'm not quite into Usher or Jessica Simpson or whatnot. But I suppose Avril Lavigne is romantic to some point.

Of course, these are the songs that one of my non-dancing friends is compiling as part of the "Worst Songs Ever" contest ("Jukebox from Hell" if you want to search for it).

Sorry, I don't really want to discuss mine (which occurred in college), but suffice it to say, it was because of the break-up with her that I started dancing.

[squirrel]

hmmm... I never had a 'highschool' sweetheart, I had my first boyfriend in university... I was 19... nothing to remember :)

crush... I've had crushes... I usually heal pretty fast (even if I whine all the time - I like pretending to be a victim and indulging in my grief :) but it never lasts)...

the worst was about 1.5 years ago... I was with the guy for 4 months, but it felt like years, in the sense that I fell in love completely... it was pure hell when we broke up...

I shall never forget him... and unfortunately I don't think he'll ever forget me either... wish things have worked out differently... but he's imature and there's nothing to be done about it... maybe it would have been better for me if he had been mean to me... treating me badly... so that I can hate him... but he didn't... he was a complete sweetheart... he liked women too much for my taste though... had I been able to put up with it, we would have remained together... and even though he never cheated on me, I disliked his talking about other women... it drove me nuts with jealousy...

When we broke up, I lost most of my life... didn't go dancing anymore, just to avoid him... lost my position as an assistant at the dance school... couldn't listen to salsa for months... I am glad I had close friends, who more or less tried to help, by dragging me out of the house to all sorts of pubs :) (btw, I hate going to pubs).

now it's all right... it was just a lesson :)... and I don't think I learned it!

[salsachinita]

This is the one thread I really would like to have NO HIJACKS, please :lol: !

For those of you who shared, thankyou, from the depth of my being, for letting us readers into that part of your memories :notworth: ......

I would like to share mine. This is NOT a story about my salsa mentor/ex, or about my recent issues. It's about my one true crush: that beautiful saxophone player from my local salsa band.

I met him at one of those summer outdoor events. Aged 19, I was a salsa newbie, wide-eyed & innocent, everything in my newly discovered life was intoxicating. Eventhough I was still getting over the pain of getting dumped by my first dance partner, my passion for salsa never kept me away from dancing (eventhough I sucked then :oops: ).

He has the most amazing dark puppy-dog eyes, super smooth brown skin & thick shoulder length (Don Juan DeMarco style) hair, which kept fallingover his forehead, and he had to flick it back from time to time. I couldn't take my eyes away from this guy.......when he played his solo during the songs, I forgot to breath.

We made eye contact & had a brief conversation. He told me the time & place where the band played regularly, and asked me to be there. We sort of left it.......but I did start following the band as much as I could (being a penniless, car-less uni student with strict parents made going out at night near impossible, so I had to go into great efforts).

(Incidentally, on that fateful day I also met my salsa mentor/ex, who was already a well-known & respected salsero.)

I hardly knew anything about my sax player, apart from having a few small talks here & there between sets, the only contact we've had was in the form of him playing/flirting on stage, me dancing right in front/flirting. Somehow the mystery of NOT knowing fuelled my agonising longing for him......sometimes I thought I might explode into flames, or slowly melt into the floor in his presence. he must have noticed how nervous I was getting too.

One day I've decided I'd had enough. I cornered him during his break and told him: "There is something I need you to know. I've got a crush on you." He took it well, was gracious, and gave me a hug before claiming that eventhough he's flattered, his lifestyle (musician & uni student) would not allow him to begin a relationship. So I got my answer.

I continued to hangout & dance while getting on with my life. Lots happened. I ended up going to Europe, and when I came back, I got into acting.

One night I ran into him on the dance floor. For once, he wasn't playing. We had our first (and only) dance and got into a good conversation. I was learning Spanish & had trouble doing the vibrating tongue "rr" thing. He was trying various way to show me in vain, we got into the biggest laugh.

Then before we knew it, I was pinned against the back wall in the longest, most passionate kiss I've ever experienced to date. His embrace was so tight that my whole being was completely consumed. At that moment I had failed to distiguish when I ended and he began.

We were there for the entire hour, if not more, only breaking apart when our friends had to leave. The thought of never washing my face again occured to me then......

After that day he avoided me. Then one day I confronted him & told him calmly how disappointed I was. We only made up again some monthes later, but the passion was gone.

Years later he got married & moved to Japan. We tried to catch up before he left (I'd just returned from America then) but never had a chance to. We'd also missed each other during his short visits.

Then last Sunday night I saw him :shock: . He's back.

Eventhough our moments had well & truly past, and I am SO not interested now, it still stirred up some feelings within myself that I had forgotten.

I will try to catch up with him & see where our lives have taken us. A bit of a 'what could have been' excercise to cure my curiosity :wink: !

More stories, please........?

[danceguy]

I can see it now, a "Dear Salsachinita" column for lovelorn dancers...ok then, I'll share another story that I had forgotten, but trust me, its a good one...I'll start with some background information.

When I was about 4 years old my older brother and sister had been taking MA lessons, and I remember my mum taking me to the class, and something called out to me...like hands were pushing me, voices were saying "you want to do this, you want to do this!"

So I begged my mother who finally asked the instructor if I could take lessons, but he said I was too young and that the older kids would pick on me. I never forgot what I felt from that class, and as the years went by I never forgot my desire to study martial arts...but I never took a single lesson.

Fast forward 16 years to when I was 20 and had dropped out of college...I made a point to study Karate and nothing was going to stop me, but my parents didn't approve and since I was living with them I didn't have much choice. :?

They finally convinced me to take Tai chi, and believe me I hated it at first...but a few months later I started taking Karate in secret...some nights I would go from one dojo to the other and my family had no idea. I had been taking Karate for about 3 months when my teacher announced that a famous Master would be visiting us. We arranged a special class bow for him...and then as I look at the guy...I realize something...he looks so familiar...but I can't quite place him.

I go home and tell my parents...and sure enough, they're nearly positive its the same guy I had seen when I was a little boy. But we live hours away...how could it be? So the next class I approach him and tell him my family name...and sure enough, its the same guy. He gives me a hug and from that day forward he becomes one of my greatest mentors in the MA.

Now the point of this story is...he had a daughter that came to class that same day...and when I saw her...I lost my breath...and time came to a standstill. I don't know how to describe her...she literally looked like a goddess sent from heaven...and not only was she sweet and beautiful, but she had MA skills that left me staring in awe. :oops:

I was way too nervous to ever approach her...but seeing her that day filled me with such inspiration that I started training harder than ever. If I was gong to ask her out, then I had to get my self in shape, and so it as done. I started jogging 10 miles a week...working out up to 8 hours a day and my skill in MA suddenly went up tenfold. It was nearly a year later when I finally drove a few hours to where she lived to see if I could ask her out...stayed a week and kept going to her father's class...but she never showed.

Finally, on the last day, I saw her...but she had changed so much and I quickly realized that she wasn't interested in me...not one bit at all. I had a moment of sadness...but we all have our path in life and ours certainly wasn't in the same direction. I drove home singing to myself...remembering that inspiration that she gave me...and I kept that memory in my heart...not the best ending by any means...but sometimes after time, you may realize that special crush of yours was not meant for romance, but to inspire you to become a better person. ;) :P

SG

[salsachinita]

...not the best ending by any means...but sometimes after time, you may realize that special crush of yours was not meant for romance, but to inspire you to become a better person. ;) :P

:!: So true........

:notworth: Thankyou for sharing, SG! :notworth:

Anyone else.....?

[Sabor]

no.. no one else i'm afriad :tongue:

LOL.. well ok ok ... u could say i always had a crush on the female species! :lol: .. and i luv it when they 'crush' me back :mrgreen:

[squirrel]

sabor... you shock me!!! :shock:

[Sabor]

:shock: yes .. i shock me too :shock: but in a nice gentle way :lol:

[salsachinita]

Oh go on, Sabor! A poet like yourself should be able to share something with the rest of us.......

Please.....? Pretty please.....? Por favor papi....? :ladiesma: Will you?

[Sabor]

aaah mi amorcita.. now poetry i can handle :D

here's an oldie i wrote to the strongest crush i had.. 'nuff said :wink:


Miss u like hell, want u like heaven

Angel u are, or be u the devil

All i know is, u are my peril

Beautiful in the nastiest of ways

I met u, an' here i am counting the days

Till i touch u again, put me in a daze

Or should i say a trance as sweet as can possibly be,

U are simply heaven ...to me.

[salsachinita]

Thankyou, Sabor :D !

[Sabor]

Always my pleasure gorgeous :D

[salsachinita]

Alright, seeing that no one seems game enough to share their stories, I'm gonna re-direct :wink: .

What would you do if you cross path with your one true crush.....?

What would you say to him/her....?

[ShyDancer]

Id love to share a juicy story....... but I dont have one :lol: :lol:

Im going to be a real girl and say that Im still with mine :lol:

Well we have been together 9 years and Im 25 so I havent had much experience!

[salsachinita]

Wow highschool sweethearts :notworth: !

........just like my parents......!

[ShyDancer]

My parents were high school sweethearts too...met at 14. Now 30 years later they are still going strong with 4 kids and 3 grandkids :D

[pygmalion]

My parents weren't high school sweethearts -- she was in high school while he was in WWII, serving in Japan. But they've been together for the past 56 years, and I have to give them accolades. Anybody who can stay married that long deserves something! LOL. :lol: :lol: :notworth:

[Swing Kitten]

Squirrel ... I can relate to your experience in soo many ways! wow!

I was nearly 20. first kiss was in a hammock in a gazebo :dreamy: relationship lasted 5 months (which is still a record for me :( ) the break up lasted for about six. He too would point out the girls that he dated... he was a musician and as we walked around the music dept there were many girls he had dated :shock: -- makes it hard for a gal to feel special eh? who can be speacial to a satyr? -- which I've later relized characterized him quite accurately ;)

I never meant as much to him as he did to me... thus began the strict pattern my "love" life has taken since.

It's always been bad news when I've fallen for anyone... just bad and I'd think I would have learned to stop that by now! *sigh*

[danceguy]

SK - Thank you for sharing your story...and yes it is such a bad habit of some people to always talk about past relationships...it just ruins so much of the romantic element that you feel for them. :|

My policy is that I never mention past GF's...and if asked I may mention someone I had gone out with, but I never mention a name and I tend to change the subject rather quickly. I don't have anything to hide...its just that the past is the past, and I want to learn about the new person in my life...not tell them old sob stories that are no longer relevant.

I wish others would do this...argh...a girl I went out with once could not go five minutes without mentioning an ex-boyfriend. Literally every conversation we had would stir up another story from her, with names, details and the works. I finally got her to stop it somewhat...but she just could not let go of her past and it annoyed the living heck out of me. It was one of the main factors that led to an early break up... :oops:

How can you feel special when someone can't shut up about their past lovers? Please folks, focus on developing a bond with your new SO, and let sleeping dogs lie! :? :oops: :x

SG

[salsachinita]

Good point, SG! I think I may have been guilty of this too :oops: , but I guess at that moment you just need someone to talk/listen to (validating your past?), you often forget the other person's interest :oops: :oops: :oops: .

When girls do that, btw, it doesn't mean that guys (who are made to be the reluctant confidante) are automatically out of luck with her. It just means that she might need a little more time/persuation.

That's my two cents anyway :? .

[salsachinita]

Thankyou for sharing, SK!

How much effects do past pattern have on us, I wonder :? .....?

[danceguy]

SC - Eventually these subjects do come up, but especially earlier on in the dating phase, talking of other relationships can really scare a person away. I've had many female friends who have complained of their boyfriends doing the same, so its most certainly not just done by women. I don't think most people realize the effect it can have on someone...for me its a sign that the person isn't ready to commit...hence they still have many issues with past lovers that need to be resolved.

Story of my life...but one that taught me so much. Never, ever, become like them! :shock: :oops:

SG

[squirrel]

Yes, it's better to let the sleeping dogs lie... until they catch up on you!

I live in the capital of Romania, Bucharest, with around 2 million inhabitants... one cannot believe how small the wolrd is! Especially the Salsa World...

:) It is interesting, no?