men with a girlfriend and a dance partner

[waltzguy]

How common is it for men to have a girlfriend, and a separate female as a dance partner? Do you think this is inherently harder for men to maintain this set of relationships? Since men are classically considered the initiators in the relationship life, I wonder if this is somehow creepy.

I think this is a lot more common for women to maintain a boyfriend and a male dance partner, and somehow I believe it is more considered okay.

Note how I use the term girlfriend, instead of wife. There's the pursuit aspect of a continued relationship, which is always theoretically possible with a female dance partner. Thus, my question, and dilemma.

[dbk]

How common is it for men to have a girlfriend, and a separate female as a dance partner?

Very common. It's the norm on my team. Actually, I've seen a lot of relationships go sour sooner than they would have because they danced together. I'm not saying partnering a boy/girlfriend will cause a breakup, but it will certainly speed one up. I've also seen relationship break-ups ruin partnerships.

Do you think this is inherently harder for men to maintain this set of relationships? Since men are classically considered the initiators in the relationship life, I wonder if this is somehow creepy.

No. It's only creepy if you, well, are creepy about it. And that goes for guys or girls. If you can't handle a working non-romantic relationship with a member of the opposite sex, that's your own individual problem, not a problem with dance relationships (and I mean "you" in the general sense, not you you).

[WaltzElf]

I can't imagine how it would be possible for me personally. I have my hands full with just a dance partner :p


Of course, if that went romantic, then great, but actually having to maintain two relationships like that simply doesn't fit my goals and commitment to dancing, and I doubt I'd be able to dance with a girl who didn't have a similar attitude.

[QPO]

I know lots of people that just have a dance partner and life partner and eveyone gets on well. I think for a non dancing parnter it takes the pressure off making them do something they dont want to.

[QPO]

Not my choice BTW but would do it if he no longer wants to dance, but can't see that happening!

[suburbaknght]

My girlfriend dances; practically every weekend involves extensive social dancing and/or workshops, and we've just started working on our third routine together. That said, we live three hours' away and she has no interest in competition, so I partner with another girl for competition.

[cornutt]

I dance with my wife, and we compete some. But admittedly we're not really serious competitors, and each of us has our own career.

[QPO]

We start this year but wont it to be fun...I know we will try our best but I dont want it to be crushing as we are not playing for cattle stations :-) (now that is an Aussie Expression)

I dance with my wife, and we compete some. But admittedly we're not really serious competitors, and each of us has our own career.

[Joe]

Sounds vaguely equivalent to racing for pinks. :)

[Wyndstorm Huntress]

My girlfriend dances; practically every weekend involves extensive social dancing and/or workshops, and we've just started working on our third routine together. That said, we live three hours' away and she has no interest in competition, so I partner with another girl for competition.

I am the girlfriend to which suburbaknght refers. For me, I consider his competitive partnership as no different than any other professional/working association, even though it is a "hobby" activity.

[nucat78]

Any time you have a man and a woman working together in close proximity on a shared project, sparks are going to fly unless they are physically or otherwise repulsive to each other. It's simply biology and I've seen it happen over and over again.

How one or both react to the sparks is the question. You are responsible for your own actions.

[Albanaich]

This might seem a little crazy, but my desire to be a strong lead in dance is complimented by and equally strong desire to be a good follow in sex.

None of my (female) dance partners have (fortunately) understood that.

[dancingirldancing]

I know lots of people that just have a dance partner and life partner and eveyone gets on well. I think for a non dancing parnter it takes the pressure off making them do something they dont want to.


My DH went from being jealous to can't wait for me to find a partner so he can NOT dance with me :)

I guess the thing is being open with your life partner and find a life partner who has a life of his/her own (eg. have a 'freaky' hobby him/herself) LOL !

[jwlinson]

Having a girlfriend I dance with regularly, as well as another girl I dance with regularly (her husband won't dance), I'd say there is no problem.

When I dance with the other girl, the only thing I'm concentrating on is the dance itself, and so is she.

[waltzguy]

Everyone's correct about statements like being responsible for your own actions. I think the bigger problem may be the perception by your SO of you liking your dance partner, regardless of any actual attraction. For a man with a SO and DP, I still think this is harder thing to deal with, than a female with the same situation.

[WaltzElf]

I still don't see how people can manage to have two relationships that require that level of attention at the same time.

I barely find enough time for my dance partner, what with work. I don't get home until 11pm-midnight after starting at around 6 in the morning. Don't leave much time for a SO :p

[elisedance]

sounds like your DP IS your SO, in everything but name unless you are working 16hrs a day that is...

[WaltzElf]

sounds like your DP IS your SO, in everything but name unless you are working 16hrs a day that is...


I finish work around 5, train from 6-11 or 12.

I can't help but think I got the raw end of the relationship deal with this partnership if she's my SO in all but name. :p

[elisedance]

perhaps you need to buy some flowers? ahem... :roll:

[suburbaknght]

I still don't see how people can manage to have two relationships that require that level of attention at the same time.

I barely find enough time for my dance partner, what with work. I don't get home until 11pm-midnight after starting at around 6 in the morning. Don't leave much time for a SO :p

You spend more time with her than anyone else by comparison. To quote XKCD (http://xkcd.com/539/), she's your statistically significant other.

Interestingly, at the studio last night several people referred to my dance partner as my wife. Wyndstorm will not be happy about this. Good thing Valentine's Day is right up so I can earn my way back into her good graces.

[fascination]

Everyone's correct about statements like being responsible for your own actions. I think the bigger problem may be the perception by your SO of you liking your dance partner, regardless of any actual attraction. For a man with a SO and DP, I still think this is harder thing to deal with, than a female with the same situation.
i don't think it's harder either way...BUT the real problem is that no one can make anyone else less insecure if they aren't willing to trust...and that will always stink for someone who is innocent

[WaltzElf]

perhaps you need to buy some flowers? ahem... :roll:


I do that...


Oh God she is my SO minus all the fun parts. :mad: :doh:

[waltzguy]

Oh God she is my SO minus all the fun parts. :mad: :doh:

ahem, depends on what "fun parts" mean
:raisebro::raisebro:

[WaltzElf]

ahem, depends on what "fun parts" mean
:raisebro::raisebro:

:-( Rub it in why don't you :p

[waltzguy]

:-( Rub it in why don't you :p

Sorry.

[WaltzElf]

Sorry.


It's ok. I console myself that she's missing out on a SO as well. Which is very selfish of me, but :D


;)

[Wyndstorm Huntress]

You spend more time with her than anyone else by comparison. To quote XKCD (http://xkcd.com/539/), she's your statistically significant other.

Interestingly, at the studio last night several people referred to my dance partner as my wife. Wyndstorm will not be happy about this. Good thing Valentine's Day is right up so I can earn my way back into her good graces.

Quite alright. I've made similar assumptions about couples based on them arriving and leaving class together, and them tending to partner up with each other when given the freedom to do so.

You are still expected to earn your way back into my good graces, of course. Not for the dance partner confusion, but purely for my own entertainment. :)

[fascination]

Quite alright. I've made similar assumptions about couples based on them arriving and leaving class together, and them tending to partner up with each other when given the freedom to do so.

You are still expected to earn your way back into my good graces, of course. Not for the dance partner confusion, but purely for my own entertainment. :)
lol...now comments like that are when you KNOW people are a couple:p

[Joe]

:-( Rub it in why don't you :p
You only wish.