Too Late is The Story of My Life

[dancingirldancing]

Oh my what would I give to 'rewind' 10 years of my life.

I feel like I am too old for achieve anything with my dancing.

A teacher kept on telling me this.

Yet I am too young to give it up all together.

I have been looking for a partner for a year now.

Most of the men are about 5 years younger than me and I do not dare ask them for a try out.

I think I have 'wasted' the prime of my life on things that never mattered to me.

I feel like I am playing catch up all the time.

I saw a ballet movie last night and remembered the time of my childhood.

I always dreamt about being the lead that was never realised because I was a big girl.

I lost so much weight after that and discover ballroom dancing. I was actually good at it. Yet I was told again that I was too old to be any good. I was in my late teens or early twenties then (can't remember exactly).

Sometimes I get so disheartened....and I dont understand why I should feel so old when I barely reached 30. I look reasonably young, trim and in good form, yet I kept on being told that I am too old.

I am sorry to vent....

[emeralddancer]

Honey .... if you are barely 30 and feel you are to old because others are telling you that .... well my darlin .... than a LOT of us on the forum are TOO OLD!

If you have desire enough, go for it with all you have in you. Do not allow anyone to say you are to old or to whatever.

If you believe it, you can achieve it!!!!!!!! Think positive, stay focused. Do NOT let go of your dream. Nurture it, seek out people that are positive that will help you achieve your desires.

Nothing worth having is easy to come by.

YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!

I am 38 and overweight .... there is NOBODY in this world that is going to tell me I can not be great dancer. Thankfully I have a pro and a studio that supports my dreams and encourages me to work hard. They never promised it would be easy. But it is worth every drop of sweat and tears!!!!!! But they see my desire and know my work ethic and they support it!

Go for it girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

vent all you want, it is ok to do that too!

[Chiron]

"It's never too late to be what you might have been." ~ George Eliot

Dara Torres is 41 and won 3 silver medals. I think in life you are going to hear everything, things you want to hear and things you don't want to hear. Sometimes you need to periodically readjust your filter. You've got one life, you might as well do what you want with the rest of it.

[WaltzElf]

Most of the men are about 5 years younger than me and I do not dare ask them for a try out.

What?

My dancing partner is 7 years older than me, and I wouldn't give her up for the world. She and I have grown very close and we're quite comfortable and happy spending a solid few hours every day together - on weekends we often spend all day together.


What does it matter if your dance partner is younger than you? If anything it should be even easier for you, because I think you mentioned before you're married, and so are not going to develop the kinds of personal feelings for your partner that I have with mine. So if I can manage it, you can.

[DrDoug]

Check out the books by Barbara Sher. A few years ago, I saw one of her PBS specials in which she read a letter that someone had sent to her after attending one of her workshops. The letter was very similar to your story: a woman had wanted to be a ballerina since she was little, but each time she got to a point where she was able to get started, someone told her she was "too old". She finally started pursuing her dream in her forties or fifties.

As for asking for try-outs with guys, don't let age or anything else (except their partners) stop you. My partner is a perfect match for me, and she's eight years older than I am.

As for achieving something with your dancing, I would say there is a certain modest age beyond which you will not become a world professional champion, but apart from that, it is possible to achieve just about anything. Go ahead and finish venting, and then get busy. (And good luck!)

[DanceAngel]

Hi, I'm new to DF but when I saw this thread I saw some of me in it. I play the "what if" game quite often.

I'm new to ballroom dancing but not to dancing in general. It has been many years since I danced. I am enjoying it more than i could have thought.

I dance for my enjoyment. I don't take lessons because I was told I have potential or that I learn quickly, because if I did the "what if" game would be played each time I put my shoes on.

So I guess what I'm asking/saying is who are you dancing for? Because IMO if you are dancing for yourself then you can achieve anything you want. Who cares if your potential partners are younger than you.

Go out there have fun and accomplish the goals that you have set.

[samina]

Go for what you want, dancinggirl. Prove what's possible for a woman your age...set a new standard. If you really want it, just go for it, one foot in front of the other. Read the quantum thread. Don't create regrets for yourself because you allowed your limits to be set by what *others* believe is possible.

[sambagirl]

You're never too old to find out how good a dancer you can be...which is not definable by anyone, except you, and only through the process of continually learning and striving to be better will you discover your limits (if indeed you have any).

I had the same experience you did and finally started ballet semi-seriously at 27, gave it up at 33 because of an injury, and because I never believed I was a "dancer," whatever that means. At 39 I started to learn Latin and finally started to "own" my dancing four years later, at 43. At 46, I dance Champ level Latin and am still steadily improving. I have no idea how far I will go with this and for how long, but I love the ride.

You are a dancer if you say you are. Don't let ANYONE tell you what you won't be able to do.

[samina]

Well-said, sambgirl. Thanks for sharing your story.

[etp777]

Go for it. Won't give anything remotely resembling details as I'm not gonna give away anyone's age ;), but I know pros who started just months before their 30th bday, pros who were already retired before 30, and everything in between. You're definitely not too old yet.

[jwlinson]

Look at Ben Ermis. He started later in life too, and look what all he's accomplished (and is still accomplishing).

[dancingirldancing]

Thanks guys you are all inspirational !

Even 12 years old is too old in ballet year LOL that is why I moved to ballroom dancing.

I don't really have a problem with dancing with younger men but I am worried that they may have a problem dancing with me. Most couples around here consists of 30 year old men with college girls.

I probaby could pass for a 25 year old pssst don't tell anyone .... :)

[sambagirl]

Ask the guys anyway. Anyone who's remotely serious will look at you as a dancer would -- at your technical ability, at the chemistry you might have, and at the picture you make together. If you look young it won't matter how old you are if the rest works out.

[Albanaich]

Lucky you!!! 30!

I didn't discover dance until I was 50. . . . worse, I discovered I have talent for it. All those years wasted!!!

I'm not sitting here crying about what I could have been, I'm just grateful to have discovered what I am - a dancer.

We get older, our abilities fail, but once part of the dance, we will always be part of the dance. No one can take that away.

There's a girl in my local bank, maybe about 20, she was champion dancer till she smashed both legs in car accident. She would do anything to swap places with you.

This is the oldest written piece of English - about 1200 years old

http://www.soton.ac.uk/~enm/deor.htm


A man sits restless, bereaved of joys,
feels sick at heart, secretly thinks that his share of hardships is over-large.
He may then reflect that through this world
God in his wisdom goes on his way;
a gift of grace he gives to many,
assurance of glory, but grief to some.

I will tell you something true of myself:
the Heodenings employed me as poet [scop] for a time,
I was dear to my lord, and Deor was my name.
For many years I held a high-ranking post,
acknowledged by my master, but now Heorrenda,a man skilled in song, is assigned the lands the protector of fighters gave first to me.

That passed over; and so may this.

[fascination]

I too wish I had started earlier, but I am not in control of that and I am not about to let it discourage me...figure I will get as good as I can until something breaks and I can't anymore

[Chris Stratton]

Most of the men are about 5 years younger than me and I do not dare ask them for a try out.

My first reaction would be to say that if five years seems like a problem, you must be fairly young.

More seriously, what matters in a partnership is someone's dance age. That's a factor of two things - physical stamina and capability, and freedom to put substantial time and focus into dancing.

[Wolfgang]

OP - Who tells you you're too old for ballroom dancing?
That's garbage.
You're too old to win gold medals in figure skating or gymnastics (in those sports you are a washed-up grandma at 22....),but ballroom dancing????
Good grief!

Having to relive your youth because you were an 'outisder' for whatever reason can suck, but maybe you could try a different environment.
Like another studio, or maybe there's some sort of club/organization in your area, something.

Sounds like what you're lacking most of all is a support group or system.

[nucat78]

Geez, I'm 52, started ballroom at 50. I'll likely never compete but I'm not out of the game anytime soon...

[jerseydancer]

Oh my what would I give to 'rewind' 10 years of my life.

I feel like I am too old for achieve anything with my dancing.

A teacher kept on telling me this.

Yet I am too young to give it up all together.

I have been looking for a partner for a year now.

Most of the men are about 5 years younger than me and I do not dare ask them for a try out.

I think I have 'wasted' the prime of my life on things that never mattered to me.

I feel like I am playing catch up all the time.

I saw a ballet movie last night and remembered the time of my childhood.

I always dreamt about being the lead that was never realised because I was a big girl.

I lost so much weight after that and discover ballroom dancing. I was actually good at it. Yet I was told again that I was too old to be any good. I was in my late teens or early twenties then (can't remember exactly).

Sometimes I get so disheartened....and I dont understand why I should feel so old when I barely reached 30. I look reasonably young, trim and in good form, yet I kept on being told that I am too old.

I am sorry to vent....

ok, how old are you?

[fascination]

she stated @30

[jerseydancer]

Dancinggirldancing do not give up. I have started b/l when I was 19, danced for 6 years (competetivly) and had to stop for 22 years. I am back dancing and none can stop me from shooting for the stars. Yes, sometimes I am thinking, where would I be if I did not stop, but I cannot change that. And the joy I get from dancing now is so much more than I used to get then. Just enjoy the ride, enjoy the dancing, and thank you ballroom - there is senior divisions for old folks like me. There are many talanted dancers who started later in thir life and are just fabulous. I think we can appreciate things much better as we get older.

[jerseydancer]

Geez, I'm 52, started ballroom at 50. I'll likely never compete but I'm not out of the game anytime soon...

Nucat78,
There are senior competitions, for example USA Dance has Senior II (45+) and Senior III (55+), NDCA has division B (35+) and C (50+), so if you want to you can definitely compete, if you want to. Looking forward seeing you on that competitive floor

[3wishes]

dgd, don't let what others tell you imprint on how you live your life with past decisions, regrets, wishes, outcomes. And why not ask a younger partner to try out? you'll never know where that will lead. A good friend of mine holds true to his saying, "a person will not see, when they are in the stuff, what others see around them because the others are not in the stuff therefore they are not bound by self-imposed limitations." Let goooooooo of the old tape recordings and embrace life in the moment. There are far too many examples of women over the age of 35, from different countries, that didn't let what other people say stop them from competing in the summer olympics bashing beliefs and setting new rules - beyond anything previously known. BTW, my partner is half my age - we have a rockin great time (-: ballroom/rhythm dancing and competing. Don't be afraid to ask, they only thing a person can say is "no" and if you don't ask - you'll never know.

[Terpsichorean Clod]

It appears someone neglected to tell this lady it's too late. ;) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkHvRCp3z5A

[emeralddancer]

Or this one with Nik and his student Charin.... she is like 80 something and amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfT3Mo-dNl4

[Some guy]

30?! Too old?! How come I'm never copied on these memos?!?!?! :mad:
:D
What is your goal exactly? To be a great dancer? Someone once said, great dancers are not great because of their technique, they're great because of their passion.

Also with respect to age, you don't stop dancing because you're too old, you get too old because you stop dancing. You'll find that once you're truly happy with your dancing, it won't matter if anyone tells you how good you are or how bad you are. The views of judges, coaches, friends, whoever, merely become "opinions" and won't matter to you. Make your personal aim to become truly content with your dancing and you'll never get too old to pursue your dream. Everything else will fall into place. :cool: As for dancing with men younger than yourself, please, by all means, ask them. In my experience, it's much harder for guys to keep up with the ladies and the older the men are, the harder it is for them to learn to use their bodies (this is not a blanket statement, this is just based on my personal contacts and experience). The fact that you have younger men to ask is a blessing.

[jerseydancer]

It appears someone neglected to tell this lady it's too late. ;) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkHvRCp3z5A


OMG this lady is fantastic!!!

[singndance]

Wow, it's great reading this thread. I really thought I had no chance to get good at this since I started so late in life, but this has given me a different outlook. Thanks so much. Dancinggirldancing, you go for it!

[waltzgirl]

I used to joke with my pro that I had my eye on an over-80 championship--cuz I figured it would take me that long to *get* good.

[samina]

Or this one with Nik and his student Charin.... she is like 80 something and amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfT3Mo-dNl4

that was wonderful, emm! thank you for sharing this!

[dancingirldancing]

You can't be serious she does not look 80 at all !

Maybe dancing keeps her young ?

[emeralddancer]

I think dancing keeps us ALL young!!!!!!!

[QPO]

I would and I am much older than you :-)

5 years is nothing and they would most probably jump at the chance to dance with you.

Go for it :-) Dont wait, I know people who have a 15 year + gap in the relationship (but that is another story)

[quote=dancingirldancing;678199]Oh my what would I give to 'rewind' 10 years of my life.


Most of the men are about 5 years younger than me and I do not dare ask them for a try out.

[Rugby]

I'm 48 and my partner is 60. We both started 10 years ago and we have not only won our way up through to pre-champ (and working on champ routines) in both latin and standard, but we did it against kids 16 and up. If we worried about those 20 somethings standing beside us we would have not gotten where we are. Instead, we made sure our technique was strong enough that they had to worry about us. Don't give up, its never too late. Besides chronological age is different from biological age.

[QPO]

I am impressed, Latin also...we are just doing the modern and NV styles.

I am inspired :-)

I'm 48 and my partner is 60. We both started 10 years ago and we have not only won our way up through to pre-champ (and working on champ routines) in both latin and standard, but we did it against kids 16 and up. If we worried about those 20 somethings standing beside us we would have not gotten where we are. Instead, we made sure our technique was strong enough that they had to worry about us. Don't give up, its never too late. Besides chronological age is different from biological age.

[j_alexandra]

I just watched the video of a friend dancing at a recent comp. She was doing an open pro-am standard scholarship. She danced so beautifully it was glorious to watch. Amazing. Inspirational. Joyous. She's 55. She and her pro partner, doing lead-and-follow, kicked the **** out of dancers half her age in that same event.

Age is a number.

[Glasswren]

Dancingirldancing: You're far from too old. Just go for it! Five years younger is not a problem at your age at all, ask the guys. At least one of them will be smart and snatch you up.

Though I do understand, I've been too old (or too fat) for so many things I'd have wanted to do. Luckily not all. :)

We also ran into this 'too old' thingy a couple of weeks ago, when a mother of one of the other girls in my daughter's group started on how, "It is such a pity that D is too old to get a new partner." She said that in front of my 10-year old, who took it very hard and as the gospel truth. I've had to spend hours boosting the girl's self-confidence again and I am quite miffled with the lady.

[tanya_the_dancer]

I kinda feel same way sometimes, too.

I discovered ballroom dancing in my late 20s. I started slowly, just doing social groups and then some private lessons, because I was determined to prove that I can do it, despite having various family members tell me that I don't have the ability to do anything which involves being able to stay with the beat. I didn't discover competitive/performing side of ballroom until I was 30. I did my first competition when I was 31. I have advanced considerably in the last few years, and I know I have not maxed out my potential for development as a dancer yet.

Sometimes I feel like I don't know where I am going with this. I think I said this somewhere before, but I don't know what would be a reasonable long-term goal for someone like me.

[QPO]

Its never too late... As they say better late than never :-)

[sambagirl]

And you have to remember that thinking about where you might be if you had started young is nonsense. You might have had a career ending injury. You might have burned out. What's important is that you are dancing NOW.

[flashdance]

Oh my what would I give to 'rewind' 10 years of my life.

I feel like I am too old for achieve anything with my dancing.

A teacher kept on telling me this.

Yet I am too young to give it up all together.

I have been looking for a partner for a year now.

Most of the men are about 5 years younger than me and I do not dare ask them for a try out.

I think I have 'wasted' the prime of my life on things that never mattered to me.

I feel like I am playing catch up all the time.

I saw a ballet movie last night and remembered the time of my childhood.

I always dreamt about being the lead that was never realised because I was a big girl.

I lost so much weight after that and discover ballroom dancing. I was actually good at it. Yet I was told again that I was too old to be any good. I was in my late teens or early twenties then (can't remember exactly).

Sometimes I get so disheartened....and I dont understand why I should feel so old when I barely reached 30. I look reasonably young, trim and in good form, yet I kept on being told that I am too old.

I am sorry to vent....

I'm feeling a lot like that lately. No one has told me I'm too old though - if people are saying those sorts of things to you then they are being rude and ill mannered. No one is ever too old to dance. Look at some of the pro's who dance a lot longer into their later years..... Sure, as you get older you may not be as quick but if you've got the technique, rhythm and pazazz then who gives a funk? You're as old as you feel.

So it's never too late for anything :)

Wish I'd taken a different path in life when I was younger but alas there is nout I can do about it now apart, from, erm, dance?! 5 years ago I would never have thought I'd be on stage dancing let alone enjoying tap dancing!! I was a shy wreck back then... Just think to yourself... for all these thoughts you are having you could be dancing instead :p

Women should never ever ever have to ask a man to dance, that works the other way round ;) Foxtrot/frog march them onto the stage instead and enjoy.... (you would only need to say 'bunny' and I'd hop on over for a boogie)

Oh, well done for losing the weight... :D Keep up the good work...

[chachachacat]

Get away from those negative people!
You are NOT too old!!!

I wanted to be a ballerina since I was a tiny tot and didn't get to start lessons until high school.
Then I started teaching ballroom at 19 then moved on to other things. I would cry watching ballroom dancing on PBS thinking if only I'd stayed with it "I could have been a contender." My BF at the time said "why don't you get back to it now?"
"I'm too old" I said. But I was only 32 and I did get back to it. It was my career and my joy for 17 years. Then I got a heart condition and couldn't dance for many years. Now I'm back teaching again and I love it.
It's Never Too Late! You could have a whole career! Go for it!

[tanya_the_dancer]

I was sorting some older photos and found a couple of pics from my very first competition. It was St. Louis Starball 2004. Yeah, I did come a long way since then (and no, there is no way I am posting those pics anywhere :) )

[dancingirldancing]

Have anyone notices that as you get older your personal nuances becomes stronger ?

I watched a video of myself dancing when I was 20 and while I was much faster I feel my dancing was a lot less personal and much more technical.

When I am referring to younger guys I don't mean asking them to dance in social occasion but more to ask them for try out as a competitive couple. I have no reservation about asking anyone to dance in a social but asking for a try outis very different !

[flashdance]

Have anyone notices that as you get older your personal nuances becomes stronger ?

I watched a video of myself dancing when I was 20 and while I was much faster I feel my dancing was a lot less personal and much more technical.



True expression of dance?


When I am referring to younger guys I don't mean asking them to dance in social occasion but more to ask them for try out as a competitive couple. I have no reservation about asking anyone to dance in a social but asking for a try outis very different !

They probably feel the same way as you... what have you got to lose anyway? I think it's one of the nicest things to be asked to dance... professionaly even more so...