Questions To Ask Before Partnership .. ?

[dancika1992]

Hello

I'm currently looking for a new partner, and I've been speaking to a few guys, and my coach keeps telling me to keep asking questions. However, I don't know what other questions to ask.

I've asked :
- Financial support (how much he's willing to commit)
- Goals in Dance
- Levels
- Results
- If he's willing to travel
- Willing to relocate


Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated :)

[etp777]

Several related threads, but since i'm not TC, they're not labeled. ;) First one is probably most relevant.

http://www.danceforums.com/showthread.php?t=25625&highlight=questionnaire
http://www.danceforums.com/showthread.php?t=30751&highlight=partner+potential
http://www.danceforums.com/showthread.php?t=19506&highlight=partner+potential

[Terpsichorean Clod]

Nice work, etp777! :)

[etp777]

Wow, compliments from the master. ;)

THanks. :) Hope those threads are of some help, dancika.

[Merrylegs]

I recently was asked by a potential amateur partner what my waist size was. I have never been asked such a crazy question. I am 5'4" and wear a US dress size 6. I was told that he is "too compact to partner with me".

We only communicated through email and never had a tryout so he has no idea how "BIG" I am. seriously this is nuts.

Maybe you should add some questions about his waist size, cholesterol level and family medical history before you decide to try out with him.

Sorry for the snarky remarks but really, I think it's all about dancing and connection then the rest of it falls into place (or doesn't). Too much of the joy of dancing gets lost in the questions.

Good luck, I hope you find yourself a great BIG partner. :p

[dancika1992]

Thank you all very much :)

[WaltzElf]

Sorry for the snarky remarks but really, I think it's all about dancing and connection then the rest of it falls into place (or doesn't). Too much of the joy of dancing gets lost in the questions.



Not entirely true. Some people like to dance with people who are a physical fit for them.


It's important if you're looking at doing more than just competition. Shows, performance, and indeed the higher levels of competition the look of a partnership becomes critical.

[madmaximus]

"Can I get along with this person? And can I get along with him?"






m

[fascination]

uh????

[madmaximus]

uh????

ie connection?.... [falls under things to ask (yourself) when choosing a partner]...

or am I off the mark?





m

[tanya_the_dancer]

ie connection?.... [falls under things to ask (yourself) when choosing a partner]...

or am I off the mark?





m

Well you're asking the same thing twice.

[Josh]

Perhaps max meant "Can I get along with this person, and can he/she get along with me?"

[Terpsichorean Clod]

Hmmm...I was thinking max meant, "Can max get along with this person, and can max get along with max?" :)

[madmaximus]

oh ...

[major BLUSH]

It should have read:

"Can I get along with this partner, and can HE get along with me"


[dang... what WAS in that margarita...]








m

[etp777]

Suspect that makes a lot more sense to everyone now. :)

[fascination]

WRT max; and why on earth were you having it without me? :cool:

[samina]

(always got a flirt waiting in the wings, lol...)

[fascination]

pardon moi...I am very discriminating about that

[samina]

well, for sure for max, anyway...:cool:

[fascination]

I'd say there are gents that can be counted on one hand and most know who they are

[madmaximus]

WRT max; and why on earth were you having it without me? :cool:

uh...

I thought I was...?

[desperately tries to pull rip cord of air parachute]...






m

[fascination]

perhaps you were...and due to your anonymity, I missed it...but I rather doubt it...as I so look forward to it ;)...and now, off to sleep...

[Leonid Turetsky]

I'd ask: what coaches are we going to be working with? How many times a week can he practice? How should we practice to be most efficient

I might add: Instead of only asking questions I would make statements regarding what I want and expect from the partnership...

[WaltzElf]

I might add: Instead of only asking questions I would make statements regarding what I want and expect from the partnership...

That is entirely dependent on who is the more credentialled dancer.

If you're a rank beginner and have caught the eye of a quality, experienced dancer, the last thing you want to be doing is making demands.

I was in that situation myself. I was looking for a new partner, and I'd basically narrowed it down to three girls after the first try out - one above me in level, the other two beginners.

Danced with all three again, and the experienced girl made it clear to me she thought she was too good for me and was only dancing with me out of a lack of other men, one of the beginners told me what she expected from me, the other girl was just happy to have an opportunity to dance with me.

Guess who I chose?

[SirTwisT]

Danced with all three again, and the experienced girl made it clear to me she thought she was too good for me and was only dancing with me out of a lack of other men, one of the beginners told me what she expected from me, the other girl was just happy to have an opportunity to dance with me.

Guess who I chose?

Actually, I'd probably chosen the expecting beginner assuming these expectations match my owns. Even a beginner is entitled to have expectations and visions. Since for a successful partnership these have to match with mine, a partner expressing clear wishes and expectations is a good starting point. Someone without ideas or without expressing them will never be really part of the team. It is then only one person pursuing the goals, which I consider less efficient. Furthermore, an expectation does not necessarily have to be a "demand". And, of course, everything depends on the way how wishes, expectations, etc. are expressed.

[WaltzElf]

Actually, I'd probably chosen the expecting beginner assuming these expectations match my owns. Even a beginner is entitled to have expectations and visions. Since for a successful partnership these have to match with mine, a partner expressing clear wishes and expectations is a good starting point. Someone without ideas or without expressing them will never be really part of the team. It is then only one person pursuing the goals, which I consider less efficient. Furthermore, an expectation does not necessarily have to be a "demand". And, of course, everything depends on the way how wishes, expectations, etc. are expressed.


I don't personally see how it's possible to have any other goal, or expectation than to get out of your dancing rewards in line with the effort you're putting in, and to continually see an improvement in what you are doing.

Anything otherwise is putting undue pressure on the partnership and immediately rules that person out as a potential partner, as far as I'm concerned.

My choice worked, and I've ended up with a beneficial partnership, so I guess my approach is one correct way to do it. Perhaps not the only correct way, but it works.

[Merrylegs]

Not entirely true. Some people like to dance with people who are a physical fit for them.


It's important if you're looking at doing more than just competition. Shows, performance, and indeed the higher levels of competition the look of a partnership becomes critical.

So should I have asked "does this computer make my @$$ look fat?"

[Terpsichorean Clod]

I recently was asked by a potential amateur partner what my waist size was. I have never been asked such a crazy question. I am 5'4" and wear a US dress size 6. I was told that he is "too compact to partner with me".
I think you should have agreed that his mind was too compact to partner with you. ;)

[Terpsichorean Clod]

For me, I'd want to see if the dancing fits, and if so, then try to sort out everything else. I know someone who considered partnering a person who was in a psychiatric ward at the time. After a visit to the ward, there was a tryout which established that the dancing would not work, rendering moot all other issues (I think I used the traditionally American definition :razz: ).

[amiko]

What about practice schedule?

I agree with madmaximus. But you really can't tell if you will get along or not over email. Must try out a few times to get a sense of each person's character and personality.

[SirTwisT]

I don't personally see how it's possible to have any other goal, or expectation than to get out of your dancing rewards in line with the effort you're putting in, and to continually see an improvement in what you are doing.
Hmm... maybe there's some misunderstanding here. I guess your way of seeing this is more abstract than I was thinking at this point. E.g., I expect my partner to be on time for practice, things like that. I have certain ideas on how often I want to practice, etc. So this is what I was referring to. Maybe I just got your post the wrong way as English is not my native language ;) On this point I certainly do agree.

[Bella]

Initially, introduce yourself (age, height, level, years of dancing, coaches, goals... etc.) I found it best to get the know the person through many conversations, rather than the interviewer/interviewee scenario. Usually, I'll know right away if I can stand the person for hours at a time. So with personality connection aside, then comes the tryout for the physical/emotional connection. Finally, you vision the potential of the partnership.

Basically, I have a mind set for what I look for in a partner. "Answers" to my "questions" come out naturally through conversation, which is the way I prefer to do it.

Some do this backwards... tryouts then the "get to know each other" routine. It depends on the kind of person you are. Which aspect is a priority above others to you?

Best of luck to you.