How do you deal with sleazy dancers?

[pygmalion]

Here's a question raised by a very good Edie article that Phil Owl posted in another thread.

We've all seen them, I'm sure. The people who take their "flava" a bit too far, and end up doing all sorts of really sleazy moves on the floor -- simulated sex acts are a fave for these folks, it seems. It's not about salsa, anymore. It's about shock value. It's not fun to watch, anymore, either . It just gets sleazy.


I assume you're not one of those sleazy dancers, so how do you deal with them? Ignore them? What does the salsa community feel about these people who just don't know how to act? Are they giving salsa a bad name?

[Sagitta]

I ignore them.

[youngsta]

That's about all you can do. I can't say I've seen anything that sleazy in a salsa club. That could be because 1) I'm always dancing or 2) It takes a lot to shock me. I mean I came from hip-hop! :lol:

[pygmalion]

LOL. I don't know if ignoring them is the only option. I've seen some pretty impressive moves from Latin ladies, enforcing their cliques. You could always make them feel so uncomfortable that they just go away. :twisted: :lol: :lol:

Are they giving salsa a bad name, do you think?

[danceguy]

Hmm, I'd say they are giving themselves a bad name mostly. Every dance has its good and bad folks...honestly I've met more sleazy people in Ballroom venues than in Salsa. I mostly ignore them, but like others said, it takes a lot to shock me...but I used to be in a co-ed frat group in college and that's all I will say about that! :shock:

SG

[Genesius Redux]

I just don't see the sleaze. Mostly in my experience, people are way too uptight on the floor--need to loosen up, it's dancing, it's supposed to be a little sexy.... 8)

[danceguy]

Yes, but you're an actor, and being "saucy" is part of your job! :lol: ;)

[cocodrilo]

Yes, but you're an actor, and being "saucy" is part of your job! :lol: ;)

There's a very fine line between sleaze and sauce- on the dance floor, that is!

I ignore the sleazy ones, too. They're only embarrassing themselves, and building a bad reputation, too. Not many people will want to dance with those types once they've seen what kind of "dancing" they do. Unless it's another sleazeball, then it would be mutual sleaziness.

[danceguy]

Mutual Sleaziness...that sounds like a movie title...or a really bad sitcom! :shock: :roll: :wink:

Yes indeed, a little saucy or sensual is nice...but when ones intent is in the gutter it can turn to trashy really quick. But if that's your thing, then hey go for the mutual sleaziness, have a sleazy wedding, raise some sleazy kids...and better yet, open up your own family business:

The Sleazy Family Robinson! We sleaze to please! :D :P

Hmm, I don't recall having any alcohol last night...but maybe that's one of the reasons I can't remember... :shock:

SG

[squirrel]

Yuck! Sleaziness is disgusting!

I mean, there's nothing wrong with flirting or playing on the dance floor, but explicit sexual moves... no way!!!

I keep those for private times, if you know what I mean... :oops: 8)

[Sabor]

Yuck! Sleaziness is disgusting!

I mean, there's nothing wrong with flirting or playing on the dance floor, but explicit sexual moves... no way!!!

I keep those for private times, if you know what I mean... :oops: 8)

so the message becomes..

sleazy in private.. not sleazy in public?

hmmm..ok, i'll write that on the back of my hand so i always remeber :wink:

[hobrien]

Dont know what you mean Sabor ?

My opinion is that yes Salsa can be and is sexy, but it is also a game. And I hope it should stays that way. Certain things can be simulated, like for example when it seems like you are going to kiss a girl when you do an arm curl over your or her head, then you continue dancing ...... you don't kiss her. But dont we all know this.

I also think that it is a mutual agreement between men and women when they dance together, the guy is flirting with the lady, and the lady flirts back. And thats where the book stops.

If Salsa became only an excuse to put your hands all over each other, then Salsa would die fast. You can do that without dancing salsa.

[Sabor]

Dont know what you mean Sabor ?

its ok.. i have the same problem most times ;)

[squirrel]

:) Sabor you're misinterpreting me...

[Sagitta]

He's just being his usual provocative self. :roll:

[Genesius Redux]

Hmm, difference between sleaze and sauce. I think it may have something to do with the visibility of the tongue. :? :wink:

[ino]

I'm with youngsta on this one....I came from the hip hop background so I really don't find anything really shocking on the dance floor anymore. I just think people express themselves differently and depending on your background you may or may not feel what they're doin.

[mellody43]

I don't see much sleaze around here but if I do I ignore it.

If someone is trying to sleaze ME up, it really depends on 1) who, 2) how much and 3) how crowded the dance floor is (and are we in the middle or on the edge?) LOL!

It rarely happens though.

I do think that as in most things, "sleazy" is VERY subjective.

[tj]

It rarely happens though.



http://images.zap2it.com/20030721/mattleblanc_friends_240.jpg
Hey Melanie,

How you doin?

[mellody43]

I do hope you calling me Melanie was on purpose, a la Joey. LOL!

[Genesius Redux]

Because the nice boys, who actually pay attention, know you as Melissa! 8)

[tj]

nice boys,

Dem's fightin' words!

:wink:

[mellody43]

nice boys,

Dem's fightin' words!

:wink:

*sits down with Sno-Caps and a big soda*

Fight! Fight!

No -- better yet: DANCE-OFF!

*munching*
Melissa

[tj]

No -- better yet: DANCE-OFF!

*munching*
Melissa

After this weekend, I've had my fill of dance competitions for a while, thank you!

:wink:

[Genesius Redux]

No -- better yet: DANCE-OFF!

*munching*
Melissa

After this weekend, I've had my fill of dance competitions for a while, thank you!

:wink:

Uh oh. Did I miss some drama on another thread? :shock:

[tj]

Uh oh. Did I miss some drama on another thread? :shock:


No drama, just my report on the Mayan Competition. (http://www.dance-forums.com/viewtopic.php?t=3655)

[pygmalion]

I don't see much sleaze around here but if I do I ignore it.

If someone is trying to sleaze ME up, it really depends on 1) who, 2) how much and 3) how crowded the dance floor is (and are we in the middle or on the edge?) LOL!

It rarely happens though.

I do think that as in most things, "sleazy" is VERY subjective.

Exactly. I have a feeling that there are people in DF who'd call ME sleazy, and people who'd think I am way too tame. Who knows what sleazy means, in an absolute sense. It's all a matter of your own sensibilities.

[Vin]

For me, if I would be embarrased to do the move in front of my girlfriend(me dancing with another girl) then I would consider it sleazy. Honestly I don't see very much sleazy stuff when I go out dancing. If a girl wants to dance sleazy with me then I guess I just have to sacrifice myself.

[squirrel]

maybe it'd be easier if everyone defined 'sleazy'...
sleazy for me is 'inappropriate', such as hands on my breasts or my behind (way too low :) that is) or 'sticky hands' you know... as in 'they stick to your body like glue'...
I don't mind explicit sexual moves... but WITHOUT TOUCHING! I've been dancing with guys who would move their hips in an explicit manner... :roll: you know... well, I didn't mind it,, BUT:
1. they were excellent dancers
2. they moved on the beat and timing...
3. they weren't making a pass at me, it was their dancing...
So, sometimes it can be fun to use certain moves, but... don't step over some lines with me...

[cocodrilo]

Squirrel-
Or how about guys rubbing their *weenie* on you. (I sometimes feel like charging them for that! ) :evil:

[squirrel]

It depends on the guy :) - and this is no joke! If it's my boyfriend, he's more than welcome... :oops: :D

Others ... will definitely have a problem with me if they try!

[Sabor]

if a salsera w/ sleazy intentions comes near me i'll scream LMAO! :wink:

[mellody43]

if a salsera w/ sleazy intentions comes near me i'll scream LMAO! :wink:
Sure, Sabor, uh-huh. We believe you. :-)

If a guy is too close, too "familiar", and I barely know him, that won't fly with me. I'll move into open position, move his hands, say something, and as a last resort, ditch him. Sorry -- if he can't respect my space he won't have the honor of dancing in it!

Melissa

[Pacion]

He's just being his usual provocative self. :roll:

No! :shock: :lol: :kissme: Sabor

I think there is a definite difference between sleazy and saucy. :roll: How do I let a guy know when I think he is being sleazy? By standing a few feet away from him and putting my hands on my hips, with a smile on my face of course and a slight shake of my head, BUT the rest of my body isn't smiling/dancing. I have found that my lack of physical reaction tends to tone things down a bit.

Oh lawdy! Pygamlion! You want to getting me talking about grinding don't you :tongue: :lol: Okay. I was in a new city/venue last week and merrily dancing on my own to a salsa/arabic type song. This guy, who I was yet to have a "first" dance with, came up to me and started gyrating in front of me :roll: . I wasn't about to buy any of what he was selling :lol: so I stood off, with about 5 paces between us :lol: and whilst dancing towards him, I wasn't dancing with him. He eventually got the message and went and tried it somewhere else :twisted:

[pygmalion]

Pacion, I LOVE your approach. :D You crack me up. :lol:

[Pacion]

Thanks :wink:

[salsachinita]

By standing a few feet away from him and putting my hands on my hips, with a smile on my face of course and a slight shake of my head, BUT the rest of my body isn't smiling/dancing. I have found that my lack of physical reaction tends to tone things down a bit.

:lol: Yep, my beautiful dancer friend Corey does this, Pacion! It's soooooo cool watching her in action 8) !

[pelao]

the sleazier the better - thats my motto at the senior citizens dances at our local church.

[cocodrilo]

the sleazier the better - thats my motto at the senior citizens dances at our local church.

I'd like to SEE a sleazy senior! :lol:

[Sabor]

He's just being his usual provocative self. :roll:

No! :shock: :lol: :kissme: Sabor

kiss u?!! .. just like that in public :shock: Oh i never! .. umm.. k, whats the magic word young lady? :tongue: :lol: :lol:

[Lofland]

from what I've seen from 3 months of taking private salsa lessons and going to clubs a lot, it seems like the sleaziness standards are more relaxed in merengue. I've had two women ask me to do merengue, and they had to tell me to loosen up and be more "sleazy" with them.

[borikensalsero]

welcome aboard lofland!!! I need to frequent the places you do :D

[Sagitta]

welcome to df! Glad to have another salsero with us. :D

Merengue is not sleazy dancing. Let me clarify... A good merengue song invites flirting and a give and take between partners. The normal crappy club merengues invite grinding or what you may consider sleazy dancing.

[jamaicanspice]

@melody43 and Pacion:

I have had to use BOTH of these methods and yes....they work like charms :D thankfully dealing with 'sleaziness' isn't a regular occurance..I can usually spot the 'octopusites' from a distance and have learnt to AVOID them! 8)

I was asked to dance with this guy once (BIG MISTAKE)*shudder*..!! and what an experience it was...I mean not only could he NOT lead well but he seemed to think that dancing to salsa meant having your hands, legs, hips, feet, head (you get the picture) involved and all over your partner. Needless to know I didn't want to embarass him by just walking off the floor so I employed melody43's method of dancing at arms length and concentrated on keeping my steps in time and not be thrown off by his movements. Did I mention NEVER AGAIN!!. 8)

[pygmalion]

Ew! I shudder in sympathy. His head? :shock: :evil: I'm getting a visual, and it's gross. You would have been perfectly justified in leaving his sorry butt on the dance floor by himself. Yuck! He didn't deserve civil behavior from you. It's good that you were nice. 8) He just didn't deserve it.

[jamaicanspice]

Ew! I shudder in sympathy. His head? :shock: :evil: I'm getting a visual, and it's gross. You would have been perfectly justified in leaving his sorry butt on the dance floor by himself. Yuck! He didn't deserve civil behavior from you. It's good that you were nice. 8) He just didn't deserve it.

When I came off the dance floor (there was no way in HELL I was gonna dance two songs with him :lol: ) I saw some of my friends shaking their heads in sympathy :lol: . One of my g/f's was like 'girl...I don't know how you managed to keep your timing!' :lol: :lol:

[borikensalsero]

LOL... when this happens to me (A Male) my best friends just watches me all song long, and when I'm done all he can do is laugh at me. He shakes his head and cracks up, saying, you gotta watch out who you dance sexy with, some can't handle it. hehehe... God, its disgusting for me as a male, I can't even begin to imagine what it is like for the ladies.

[Pacion]

It must be the aftershave you are using :wink: :lol:

[cocodrilo]

LOL... when this happens to me (A Male) my best friends just watches me all song long, and when I'm done all he can do is laugh at me. He shakes his head and cracks up, saying, you gotta watch out who you dance sexy with, some can't handle it. hehehe... God, its disgusting for me as a male, I can't even begin to imagine what it is like for the ladies.

I've never really SEEN somebody being "sleazed up" on the dance floor(off the dance floor, lots of times!), but I'm sure ONE of the dancers is not wearing a smile. Borikensalsero, does that happen to you often, getting a sleazy chick writhing all over you? :shock:

[Suaveson]

That's about all you can do. I can't say I've seen anything that sleazy in a salsa club. That could be because 1) I'm always dancing or 2) It takes a lot to shock me. I mean I came from hip-hop! :lol:

I'm kinda like younsta, I came from mostly hip-hop and the raving scene so it doesn't really shock me - I guess there is a limit to everything though..... :twisted:

[Sabor]

yo amigos.. it all depends who's doing the sleazing in relation to who is getting sleazed .. ya know :wink: .. don't hate da game.. hate da playa 8) ..

[jamaicanspice]

@SABOR: riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!!!!!!!! I'll bear that in mind IF we ever meet :wink:

[borikensalsero]

LOL... when this happens to me (A Male) my best friends just watches me all song long, and when I'm done all he can do is laugh at me. He shakes his head and cracks up, saying, you gotta watch out who you dance sexy with, some can't handle it. hehehe... God, its disgusting for me as a male, I can't even begin to imagine what it is like for the ladies.

I've never really SEEN somebody being "sleazed up" on the dance floor(off the dance floor, lots of times!), but I'm sure ONE of the dancers is not wearing a smile. Borikensalsero, does that happen to you often, getting a sleazy chick writhing all over you? :shock:

Before I started going to on2 only venues it used to happen every night. Places like copa, nells, china club, were really bad with this type of behavior. I must say that every night up to about a year or so ago, if I danced with 10 ladies, 3 of them would want to sleaze themselves all over me. I even do my version of the moon walk rather nicely, the girl would come forward with her pelvis, I'd act like Michael Jackson to the back.

Girls have gotten so sleaze on my that they turned the dance into X rated. I've been call gay because I refused to do certain things on the floor.

[mellody43]

I even do my version of the moon walk rather nicely, the girl would come forward with her pelvis, I'd act like Michael Jackson to the back.



*LOL!*

Sounds like you had a little MC Hammer in there too:

"Can't touch this!"

*baggy pant dance*

hehe.
Melissa

[jamaicanspice]

Just added some pix to the album you guys :lol:

[cocodrilo]

Just added some pix to the album you guys :lol:

Very spicy, Jamaicanspice! Have to note that you defied the laws of gravity on the 3rd one!!!

P.S. You posted this on the "sleazy" topic, but the photos weren't sleazy at all!

[Sabor]

ooooh just look at that jamaican mamacita 8) .. lookin good girl, luv the smile :D

[pygmalion]

Cool. Thanks for the photos. :D Check out that dip! :D

[jamaicanspice]

Cool. Thanks for the photos. :D Check out that dip! :D

share a little secret with you....that dip is nothing lol you should see how low I go when my dance partner puts me in a DIP! lol :wink:

[jamaicanspice]

Just added some pix to the album you guys :lol:

Very spicy, Jamaicanspice! Have to note that you defied the laws of gravity on the 3rd one!!!

P.S. You posted this on the "sleazy" topic, but the photos weren't sleazy at all!

:shock: oooops!!! :lol: didn't mean for it to be on this topic 8) my bad...thanks for the compliment though :lol: I do so love those dips and spins :lol: :wink:

[Sagitta]

How many spins do you like? Do you have a limit?

[jamaicanspice]

How many spins do you like? Do you have a limit?

:roll: hmmmmmmmm....well my partner likes spins as much as I do...I think the most I've done in one go is...*picks up phone and calls dance partner* 8) *ahem* the most we've done is about 15 spins or thereabouts in one go. We don't really have a limit (at least I don't lol)...he just spins me until he decides to stop......or until I get dizzy :lol: which doesn't happen that often anymore :wink: :lol:

[pygmalion]

Yup. Somewhere between twelve and fifteen is where I stop spinning and the room starts spinning. :shock: :lol:

[ShyDancer]

Ive read through this thread before and each time been thankful I havent had to deal with a sleazy guy .......... until last night!
During a Rumba he lifted my arms above my head then ran his hands down my sides. I was really annoyed, firstly because I dont know the guy from a bar of soap (his first time there) and I had only minutes before told him to keep a little distance between us as he tried to get too close, also because there was no hint of playfulness about it, he was a full on sleaze.
My response: I slapped his hands away and walked away leaving him standing in the middle of the floor alone.
I know quite a few people saw it, and I think he realised it too..I noticed he only managed to get another dance from a beginner before he left.
Hopefully he never comes back!

[ShyDancer]

Yup. Somewhere between twelve and fifteen is where I stop spinning and the room starts spinning. :shock: :lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[etchuck]

Somewhere previously it was discussed whether there was a definition of sleazy.

I guess my own rule of thumb is that others' perceptions of sleazy moves are completely subjective, but it's the dancer that makes the call of sleazy or not. For that, the definition is little easier: if a risque move makes one feel sexy, liberated, and completely ecstatic, it's not sleazy. If one dancer is taking advantage of the other, and the enjoyment of dancing is just the enjoyment of releasing/reviving some sexual energy in a completely improper manner, it's definitely sleazy and not appropriate.

So the finger brush move mentioned (leader slides his arm up or down the slide of the follower): apparently another friend of mine had that done to her in swing, much to her dismay. Yeah, I wouldn't do that to a complete stranger. I'd wait at least until I got my "three threes" in (for rumba).

[pygmalion]

Good points, etchuck. My definition of sleazy might be a lot more or less permissive than someone else's. AND it might change quite a bit, depending on whom I'm dancing with.

[jamaicanspice]

pygmalion guess what!!!! my dance partner and I did up to 24 spins on Thursday!!!!! AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: and i didn't fall down!!! :D