This one salsa dancing technique is rarely taught...

[salsarhythms]

Most instructors don't teach you this, but they do it
themselves, at times, without even knowing it.

In fact, anyone who really looks good out on the dance
floor and has obtained any level of mastery of the
dance practices this secret...even if they don't know
it...

What am I talking about here?

Words.

The most powerful asset you have at your command.

You can bring someone down to the lowest depths
or raise them to the highest point...

All with words.

And that also goes with the "words" that we speak to
ourselves.

What does this have to do with salsa dancing?

Many of you have chosen salsa dancing because of the
way you feel when you hear the music, and see the
dance...

However, I notice many students that use very negative
words to describe their own process in learning to dance.

Maybe you do it too...

And at some point, we've all done it. It's only natural.

Listen, you can learn the mechanics of almost anything
in life, including salsa dancing.

But if the words you use when talking with yourself are
not positive, then the mechanics won't do you much good.

Especially with something like salsa dancing, where your
attitude and feelings really do show when dancing.

Learning something new is not easy, so there's no sense
in making it even MORE difficult by bringing yourself
down...

If you get to the point where you feel a bit down because
perhaps you're not where you want to be...

Just stop, and imagine and feel what you felt that first
day you got "hooked".

Regardless of what level of dance you have achieved, you
MUST REMIND YOURSELF OF WHAT AN AWESOME JOB YOU'RE DOING.

Is this too "new-age" for you?

Well, it doesn't matter if it is...the fact remains that
it works and it's true...

Fill yourself with the negative, "putting down words", and
regardless of how good you're doing, you'll always think
you're doing bad...

Fill yourself with the right, "up-lifting words", and you'll do
better than most people.

Don't put so much pressure on yourself...there's nothing to
look forward to if all you do is punish yourself.

I know that if I was learning to dance, and all I did was
put myself down...then dancing just won't be fun or appealing
any more.

So do you want to know what the secret is?

There is no secret...just use the right words, to put you in
the right frame of mind and things start to happen...almost
as if by magic.

Don't believe me?

Try this...

But seriously, try it out and please share with us the results.

Wake up tomorrow morning and say to yourself, in an out-loud
voice:

"I feel fantastic, just great!"

Now, go through your day and see how you feel.

Then the next day, say to yourself, in an out-loud voice:

"I feel terrible, the worse I've ever felt!"

Let's see how you feel.

Now, in case you're saying to yourself "This guy is crazy
I'm not going to do that..."

I've got this to say:

What do you have to lose?

Either you'll get better, or you'll be in the same exact
place you were in before...so really, there's nothing for
you to lose...

So try it out, and let me know how you did.

Why would I ask you to do this?

Because I want you to be aware of how powerful this self
talk really is...I don't think many people actually
realize this...

So please, humor me and try it out...you'll be a better
dancer because of it... :-)

Respectfully,

[voilsb]

Too true!

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is the biggest crock ever.

Words are very powerful, both spoken and written. The pen (and tongue) truely is mightier than the sword.

[peachexploration]

Too true!

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is the biggest crock ever.

Words are very powerful, both spoken and written. The pen (and tongue) truely is mightier than the sword.

Ditto voilsb!

[tj]

Nice post.

[pygmalion]

Very nice! I can't count how many times I've been in class and seen one spouse rip the other spouse (and their self confidence) to shreds with a few poorly chosen words. Or how many dance students say they can't do it, and then, of course, can't?

Well said, as always, Fernando. 8)

[salsarhythms]

I'm really glad you guys enjoyed it...but...

I want this to be more than just "Yeah that is a great thing
to do..."

I want you to really practice this.

Really do it.

Because what most people don't realize is that big accomplishments
are the result of a lot of "small" accomplishments...a lot of "little"
things at work...and this is one of them...

So let's do it...again, if you are a bit skeptical...try the exercise
I gave and see what the results are... :-)

[tj]

(snip)

I'd say it's related to the "self talk" thing. One needs to be aware of one's inner thoughts and how the seeds of doubt are sown from those thoughts. To use one of the more famous examples: "To merely try is to invite the chance of failing."

Yoda had a saying similar to this... something like "Try? There is no try. Do."

So when you're dancing, don't say, "Well, I'll *try* that dance."

[mellody43]

Ohhh, sounds like neurolinguistic programming to me! =)

Positive thinking is always ... positive. Must apply this more towards my dancing -- I found myself telling a new dance partners (light-heartedly, with a smile) that I "wasn't very good" so they wouldn't expect me to be superwoman on the dance floor :shock:

Must not do that!

Melissa

[danceguy]

Sage advice Fernando...reminds me of something I did last Sunday while Salsa dancing. There was such a shortage of ladies that the men outnumbered them by 4 to 1 (or more)...so my one dance of the evening I asked a very advanced Salsera to dance...one I'd never seen before.

The first thing I said to her was "Umm, I'm a beginner," and although she seemed ok with it, I realized that my own sense of self confidence went downhill instantly...and she realized it too!

I promised myself that although I am a beginner...I won't let that happen again! The week before when I was full of confidence and happy was when ladies started asking me to dance and complimenting my dancing...so I've seen this first hand and should know better by now. :doh:

Thanks again,

SG

[Sakura]

Great post, SR! The positive school of thought is something well-imbued (if not exactly recognized) in those of us with infinite energy!!!! =^__^= Keep up the good work! :banana: :banana:

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

[SDsalsaguy]

Yoda had a saying similar to this... something like "Try? There is no try. Do."
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Yoda: "Do, or do not. There is no try."

[Sakura]

Yoda had a saying similar to this... something like "Try? There is no try. Do."
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Yoda: "Do, or do not. There is no try."

Yoda!!!!!! :D :D :D He's my buddy! At the Hollywood Bar and Grill up in Indy (where the show The Rocky Horror Picture show every other Saturday! --*Yes,* *I* go!! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: ), they have Yoda in a Glass Box! (Or, now he's known as, Yoda in a Box!!)

Yoda forever! :twisted: :lol: :lol:

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

[tj]

Heh, I had the feeling that misquoting Yoda would get a bunch of responses. :oops:

Ohhh, sounds like neurolinguistic programming to me! =)

Yeah, I find it an interesting subject. Yet another subject for us to talk about if/when we ever meet IRL! Lol!


Positive thinking is always ... positive. Must apply this more towards my dancing -- I found myself telling a new dance partners (light-heartedly, with a smile) that I "wasn't very good" so they wouldn't expect me to be superwoman on the dance floor :shock:

Must not do that!

Melissa

It's the big yellow "S" on the chest of your blue costume that makes us think that...

[mellody43]

Heh, I had the feeling that misquoting Yoda would get a bunch of responses. :oops:

Ohhh, sounds like neurolinguistic programming to me! =)

Yeah, I find it an interesting subject. Yet another subject for us to talk about if/when we ever meet IRL! Lol!


Positive thinking is always ... positive. Must apply this more towards my dancing -- I found myself telling a new dance partners (light-heartedly, with a smile) that I "wasn't very good" so they wouldn't expect me to be superwoman on the dance floor :shock:

Must not do that!

Melissa

It's the big yellow "S" on the chest of your blue costume that makes us think that...

We will meet tomorrow if the stars are aligned! hehe!

I wouldn't be caught dead wearing blue Lycra!

=)
Melissa

[Sakura]

It's the big yellow "S" on the chest of your blue costume that makes us think that...

I wouldn't be caught dead wearing blue Lycra!


:lol: Yeah, that "S" is a dead-giveaway!! :lol:

*shudders* Ewwwww, blue Lycra..... :wink:

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

[squirrel]

Wow, great, SR, as always your posts are interesting... I was just thinking why Salsa in my country is not developing faster... This is why!!! Lack of trust in our power to change things... lack of trust in ourselves!

Anytime I choose to believe in my powers, I WIN!!! And yes, it's a choice, WE CAN CHOOSE TO BELIEVE IN OURSELVES OR PUT OURSELVES DOWN!

In the first case, we shall always win! Everybody around us will win, not only us!

In the second case, we shall only manage to feel miserable and fail, most of the time!

Great topic!

Raluca

[salsarhythms]

There's been a couple of interesting points...

I do want to mention this:

The emotions you feel in a given situation are based on the
fact that you have DECIDED to feel that way in that particular
situation...does that make sense?

If you have already DECIDED that you are a beginner and that
not only will you tell yourself that, but also announce it to the
world, you will feel like a beginner. Why?

Because you have already decided to feel that way, and whatever
emotions come from the thought and the word "beginner" will quickly
come over you.

Let's face it.

When you hear the word "beginner" the first thoughts that come
to your mind are not very positive ones...are they?

However, you can come to terms with being at the early stages
of salsa dancing WITHOUT necessarily feeling like what we have
defined to ourselves as being a "beginner" (which usually has
negative undertones).

To recap:

1. The emotions we feel are based on the meanings and definitions
we've given the particular situations that stir those "emotions".

2. Words are how we define things.

3. Clearly, words are extremely powerful.

Did any of this make sense? I hope it did...I'm trying to add
further clarity because realizing what goes on inside you really
has a HUGE impact on what happens outside...

This is especially true of salsa dancing? Why?

Think about it for a second.

We're talking about words and how powerful they are.

What are words anyway?

A form of communication.

Dance, as any of the other arts, is about communication and
expression...so if what's inside is negative, what do you
think you will communicate?

Regardless of the medium you use to communicate, be it verbal
or through art, the only thing that could be expressed is
what's inside.

[Sakura]

Awesome insights, SR! Really beautiful work with the words. And your point about Dance being a form of communication, just like words, really is true!

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

[squirrel]

hmmm... I have the habit of saying I am 'fat and ugly'... jokingly, of course, 'cause I'm neither... but I think this affects my frame of mind, my self-confidence... I shall stop saying it... :)

[MacMoto]

Fernando,
As always, an excellent post.

1. The emotions we feel are based on the meanings and definitions
we've given the particular situations that stir those "emotions".

2. Words are how we define things.

3. Clearly, words are extremely powerful.
While reading this, I've noticed something curious.

My dancing improves when someone tells me I'm good.

The logic would be that I get better and someone comments on it, but the way it actually seems to happen is I get better following a positive comment from someone. I get a compliment about my eye contact, and my eye contact (and consequently my focus on the lead) gets better. A teacher tells me I'm really advanced now, and I experience a dance breakthrough the following weekend... Funny, isn't it? I don't know how it works -- perhaps the improvement is alreay there and I just don't notice it until someone points it out to me. Or maybe the comment helps me remember the right way of doing something and make it stick. Or, possibly, positive words from others have a power to redifine my perception of what I am and, as a result, to change what I am.

What do you think?

[mellody43]

My dancing improves when someone tells me I'm good.



I agree! Also, I am more likely to add styling and have more fun when I dancing with a lead who, well, "leads the way" in that regard. With an awkward, stiff lead, I feel awkward and stiff too. :shock:

[tj]

I agree! Also, I am more likely to add styling and have more fun when I dancing with a lead who, well, "leads the way" in that regard. With an awkward, stiff lead, I feel awkward and stiff too. :shock:

Well, I hope you enjoyed dancing with me last night, cuz I know I enjoyed dancing w/you!

(To everyone else: Hey gang, Melissa has been sandbagging - she's quite good even if she claims not to be!)

[mellody43]

I agree! Also, I am more likely to add styling and have more fun when I dancing with a lead who, well, "leads the way" in that regard. With an awkward, stiff lead, I feel awkward and stiff too. :shock:

Well, I hope you enjoyed dancing with me last night, cuz I know I enjoyed dancing w/you!

(To everyone else: Hey gang, Melissa has been sandbagging - she's quite good even if she claims not to be!)


I really had fun dancing with you! -- you dance with a lot of joy and humor (thank goodness) And what a great laugh you have. Sorry if I missed some cues! :oops: :oops: :oops:

And thank you - though I think you are just flattering me!

Melissa

[tj]

I really had fun dancing with you! -- you dance with a lot of joy and humor (thank goodness) And what a great laugh you have. Sorry if I missed some cues! :oops: :oops: :oops:

And thank you - though I think you are just flattering me!

Melissa

Lol!

Well, I had pictured a totally different dancer when you said you danced a lot of cumbia over at Beso. Your spins are quite good - way better than any cumbia dancer that I've known. And you stayed in the slot, too, which is something a cumbia dancer usually won't do. And your dip technique is right on, too.

And who cares about missing some cues here and there. The bottom line is that it was a lot of fun (including sound effects).

Darn, only 2 more weeks to dance w/you!

[mellody43]

I really had fun dancing with you! -- you dance with a lot of joy and humor (thank goodness) And what a great laugh you have. Sorry if I missed some cues! :oops: :oops: :oops:

And thank you - though I think you are just flattering me!

Melissa

Lol!

Well, I had pictured a totally different dancer when you said you danced a lot of cumbia over at Beso. Your spins are quite good - way better than any cumbia dancer that I've known. And you stayed in the slot, too, which is something a cumbia dancer usually won't do. And your dip technique is right on, too.

And who cares about missing some cues here and there. The bottom line is that it was a lot of fun (including sound effects).

Darn, only 2 more weeks to dance w/you!

:lol: Thank you! I only say I'm a cumbia dancer since most of my experience comes from dancing with guys who dance that style -- but I have danced over the years with more salsa-fied types, it's just less frequent at that venue! LOL! The last 6 months have been great for my slot work.

My dip?! Eek. It's yelp-worthy. Bad news. Must practice. :-(

[tj]

My dip?! Eek. It's yelp-worthy. Bad news. Must practice. :-(

It's exactly comments like that that made me believe that you were probably a beginner. Lol! Boy, was I wrong! :shock:

[mellody43]

My dip?! Eek. It's yelp-worthy. Bad news. Must practice. :-(

It's exactly comments like that that made me believe that you were probably a beginner. Lol! Boy, was I wrong! :shock:

haha!

[borikensalsero]

Thanks TJ!!!!

She had me fooled as well!!! Hmmmm, now, I don't think me be holding back when we dance Melissa :twisted: :tongue: :mrgreen:

[Sagitta]

Welll...I always say I know a little, but never say that I'm bad or anything really negative. I only know a little, as I know there is so much more to learn. And I look forward to it. It's all positive. :)

[mellody43]

Thanks TJ!!!!

She had me fooled as well!!! Hmmmm, now, I don't think me be holding back when we dance Melissa :twisted: :tongue: :mrgreen:

Bah! :roll:

[tj]

I just realized... this whole conversation actually relates back to the original topic of this thread. How one's self-talk influences one's dancing and ability to learn.

[Sakura]

My dancing improves when someone tells me I'm good.



I agree! Also, I am more likely to add styling and have more fun when I dancing with a lead who, well, "leads the way" in that regard. With an awkward, stiff lead, I feel awkward and stiff too. :shock:

:shock: Both of you, macmoto and mellody43, you're *exactly* right! (As far as my personal experiences go! :wink: ) Getting complements from my teacher (the very few, *BIG* ones that I don't often hear) really make me feel like I'm doing everything right, and I'm slowly but surely making my way up to my teacher's level!

In my Salsa Workshop, the first time I'd danced with people besides my teacher, there were some rather stiff leads that really made me feel as though my own dancing ability was going down! :shock: :evil: I hated feeling as though my talent was decreasing instead of increasing when practice is supposed to help!

*shrugs* But, so long as we're coming back to positive levels, we should all be happy, ne? :D :wink:

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

[borikensalsero]

Thanks TJ!!!!

She had me fooled as well!!! Hmmmm, now, I don't think me be holding back when we dance Melissa :twisted: :tongue: :mrgreen:

Bah! :roll:

:friend: :kissme:

[salsachinita]

Yay to TJ & Melissa :D !

I wish I could be there........just in case you guys arn't sick of me saying it, Seattle is one of my favourite cities :wink: !

[tj]

Yay to TJ & Melissa :D !

I wish I could be there........just in case you guys arn't sick of me saying it, Seattle is one of my favourite cities :wink: !

Thanks, SC.

[youngsta]

Field trip to Seattle!! :lol:

[tj]

Field trip to Seattle!! :lol:

If you don't get your butt out here by mid-June, you'll only have Melissa to meet up with (well, maybe SalsaGeek too) since I'll be gone by then.

[mellody43]

Field trip to Seattle!! :lol:

If you don't get your butt out here by mid-June, you'll only have Melissa to meet up with (well, maybe SalsaGeek too) since I'll be gone by then.

hehe.

Sassify me!

[salsachinita]

Sassify me!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Sassify me too.....!

See you down here in Oct 8) ......!

[Sakura]

Field trip to Seattle!! :lol:

I could go for that! :D I was born in Washington state; in a little town called Bremmerton. =^__^= We were right in part of the rainforests there (=O_o= Not that one thinks of Washington having rainforests), and apparently we could see Mt. Rainier (sp?) from one of our windows! Mum says we were a Ferry's ride away from Seattle. I remember going on the Space Needle once, and I was terrified! :cry: I hid under a table.... :lol: :oops: :lol: Of course, I was 2 or 3 then, so I think I can be excused!

We moved when I was 3... I don't remember much, because I was so young, so it's too bad really. I do remember that where we lived was really pretty, and our house was really cool though! I need to get back there sometime...

Thanks for providing the nostalgia kick!

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

[mellody43]

Field trip to Seattle!! :lol:

I could go for that! :D I was born in Washington state; in a little town called Bremmerton. =^__^= We were right in part of the rainforests there (=O_o= Not that one thinks of Washington having rainforests), and apparently we could see Mt. Rainier (sp?) from one of our windows! Mum says we were a Ferry's ride away from Seattle. I remember going on the Space Needle once, and I was terrified! :cry: I hid under a table.... :lol: :oops: :lol: Of course, I was 2 or 3 then, so I think I can be excused!

We moved when I was 3... I don't remember much, because I was so young, so it's too bad really. I do remember that where we lived was really pretty, and our house was really cool though! I need to get back there sometime...

Thanks for providing the nostalgia kick!

Sakura Kitty :kitty:
Yep -- there are temperate rain forests in the Olympic Peninsula -- I think the only place in North America where such a thing exists. Lovely corner of the world we have here ...

We can see Mt. Rainier from Seattle when it's clear out =)

Melissa

[Sakura]

Yep -- there are temperate rain forests in the Olympic Peninsula -- I think the only place in North America where such a thing exists. Lovely corner of the world we have here ...

We can see Mt. Rainier from Seattle when it's clear out =)

*sighs happily* It *was* pretty. I can remember driving back to our house from some errand we were on, and there were just beautiful, lush, green trees as far and high as you could see! (Being 2 years old, that's pretty far and high!) I miss it; need to get back there sometime soon. :D

Yay, mountains! =^__^= The Ultimate Perching Place. :roll:

Sakura Kitty :kitty: