The X-factor

[pygmalion]

Long ago, when I was studying with my first ballroom teacher, he and his coworkers came up with that phrase -- the X-factor. It means the thing, other than learning to dance, that makes people want to dance. That studio succeeded because its teachers believed in the X-factor and catered to people's inner motivations quite well, I believe.

Sometimes the X factor can be pleasing a mate, or dealing with grief or loneliness, or self-actualization, or lots of other things. Just curious, if you don't mind sharing, do YOU have an X-factor? If so, and it's not too personal, do tell. what is it, other than dance, that motivates you to dance?

My X-factor has changed over the years. When I first started dancing, I was seeking escape from a failing romantic relationship by doing something purely for myself. Not true anymore (I'll give my current feelings later. :wink: :lol: )

How about you?

[Pacion]

The music just compels me :oops: I can be walking in the street (when I was younger - now I am conscious people might be watching :lol:) and start dancing, using the curb of the sidewalk :D as my inspiration.

One of my first recollections of dance was seeing Swan Lake with Margot Fonteyn and Rudolf Nureyev at the cinema. I pested my parents thereafter to do ballet and from recollection, I was about four years old at the time? :( But, according to one of my aunts, I was always dancing around as a child :banana: so dance had already found me :D

[Genesius Redux]

Well, okay Scully. The X Factor, let's see.

Probably this--I had recently divorced, and I needed to do something that would help me rebuild a shattered self-esteem. Since plaguing self-doubt is not among my normal afflictions, I very quickly shifted to a need to be as elegant and accomplished as I could be. :wink:

[dancin_feet]

My reason to dance, eh? Well it has gone through some changes since I started. I will try to put into words:

I started on a quest to "find myself" and realised that through my whole life, dancing was the one constant thing that I was never disappointed with. So I guess I initially started with a need to do something that made me happy. Also the social and fitness aspect played a part, but mainly it was for me to get away from the stresses of work and just have fun.

As I have picked up new things and taken on new challenges, it has changed to include more of the social interaction, plus a need to prove to myself that I can do whatever is thrown at me. Increased my self confidence immensely you may say. I no longer have fear of new things, and certainly when it comes to dancing, I say "bring it on"! My instructor recently said to me that when it comes to step patterns and figures, I can pick it up very quickly. He challenged me saying that there would certainly be some things coming up in the next couple of levels that would bamboozle me. Ha! Red rag to a bull time, I'm out to prove him wrong!! :twisted:

Now what motivates me to dance is the need to prove that I can adjust to do anything, and do it well. When I am social dancing (not training towards my trophies) my motivation is more about dancing with my partner and following his lead (and learning to lead myself!) and just having fun in the social atmosphere.

[Pacion]

I very quickly shifted to a need to be as elegant and accomplished as I could be. :wink:

Do you dance with an umbrella :roll: :wink:

[Genesius Redux]

Only in the rain. :lol:

But no, GK I shall never be--I only said as elegant as I can be! But who knows--inspired by the right partner? Wanna foxtrot with me, Pacion?

[pygmalion]

I love that scene. The first time I saw it was eons ago, when the late, late movie still came on CBS in Philly, my home town. That was the only time of day you could see a movie uncut. I danced around in my pajamas while GK danced in the rain. Only it was 5:00 AM, and my parents got upset because my feet were thumping over their heads while they were trying to sleep. LOL. Ahh. Memories. :D

Sadly, I'm getting back on topic now. :oops: :lol: I know quite a few people, my "crazy friends who can't dance." They all started for different reasons -- divorces, widowhood, married "date nights," etc. But they all continue dancing for one reason -- peer pressure. None of them will quit while the rest continue dancing. Hmm. :roll: :)

[Kitty]

Feeling of accomplishment GR? Can I call it that?

for me - accomplishment - sure, but most important is the intimate feeling that I get from moving together, communicating without words, speaking with our eyes, knowing unspoken things, giving myself to music.

Latin and rhythm to me (except rumba and samba), no, actually samba too, is mostly proving to myself that I can:-). But most of enjoyment (besides the enjoyment that I get from accomplishing something) I get from slow and/or closed position dances.

[little zephyr]

what an interesting question! and i'm sure everyone has a different answer.

for me, dancing is an artistic endeavor. where a painter uses a brush and canvas in their creative process, as a dancer, i use my body. and i don't really know what it is, but i find a tremendous amount of joy in that.

i used to do a lot of theatre/acting type stuff, and one of the directors i worked for once gave a little pep talk to the cast. he basically posed to the question to us "why do we do this?" meaning, why do we sing/dance/act etc.? we all kind of sat around scratching our heads for a few minutes, then he answered the question by saying "because our spirits are too big for our bodies." and i think that's the reason i dance.

so it's not really about creating a perfect finished product. it's not about being able to finally dance the perfect silver level waltz (it'll never be perfect) or the ideal gold cha cha (what is 'ideal' anyway?). it's about the work i do, the process of trying to get there, and what i learn in the meantime that i enjoy.

[DancePoet]

I like music and the emotions it brings out, and dance allows me to create something that goes with the music. I like the concept of expressing my self to another human through dance. I am comfortable letting the music, perhaps even the words, and certainly the feelings, that dance generates, create an experience of closeness to others while at the same time expressing my individuality through the choices that can be made.

(Off on a tangent, I wonder how followers feel about the concept of choice. It seems a leader tends to eliminate choices. I hope to dance well enough someday where even the follower has choices that keep me on my toes.)

I suspect there is some deep psychological reason why I dance. Perhaps it involves the need to preserve one's self, and also help preserve the species through the connectiveness required for a community of any kind to maintain it's identity.

On much more of a surface level, I like to dance because it gets me out and away from the usual day to day activites we move through during a typical day. I like to help create the relationships that develop between people who are enjoying each other's company through a common activity like dance. It is also an exciting adventure of learning and discovery!

Oh, and of course dancing with women can be really playful and fun!

[ShyDancer]

I started for Fun. Still dance for fun, I love where dancing takes me....to a world free of everything but pure joy :D



*EDIT: I spelt Dance wrong..how embarrassing! :oops:

[DancePoet]

Yes, yes, yes, that's it! Fun! Fun, fun, fun, and more fun! Yeehah!

(Oh, gosh...really need to get some sleep.)

[Sakura]

(Note from after writing: The PS was originally part of the actual message, but I figured I needed to switch it with the original PS, which comes after the "And so on and so forth" part of this post. After I looked at it, the most important stuff really is in the main message. Thanks.)

Wow, Pygmalion! What a way to make us think and delve into our psychees! :D Here goes (note: I have NO idea how long this is gonna be! :roll: :oops: :roll: Hopefully not long enough to bore anyone to death):

I grew up hearing stories (and I still do!) from my Dad's parents (my Nana and Granddaddy) about how they used to dance, and how famous people used to come to their town in West Virginia, so they'd have huge pagents and balls at their high school. Granddaddy always said that you could spot the people in those pagents because they'd walk down the hallways with their book on their heads. (He says I need to do that too... :? I can't yet... :oops: :oops: )

I fell off of it for quite some time, my love of dance I mean. My Nana and Granddaddy live down in Florida, so I didn't get to see them as often as I'd have liked to (not that I get to now... :cry: ), so I didn't get to hear stories, or have my Granddaddy get up and make me dance with him. I can still hear the things he said (still does!) to me!

"Hey! What are you lookin' at?! You can't look down at your feet! Look at me! Are you embarrassed? Come on! Look at me! How are you gonna dance with a guy if you can't even look at him?! ... Hey! Don't look over my shoulder! Look at me! Good... Good! Hey! Now, come one honey, you can't anticipate what I'm gonna do! Bend your knees, be smooth! You HAVE to follow the man! You can't go off and do your own thing on me! Whoo-wee! Look at you! You've got some talent for this! You're gonna be a GREAT dancer someday!"

And so on, and so forth. :roll: :D :roll:

I hope you guys will forgive me for going on and on about my Nana and Granddaddy; but they *really* are the reason I'm dancing now... And when I talk about how I used to dance with my Granddaddy, it's very important to me, because he can no longer get up to dance with me... :cry: :cry: :cry: And that hurts. A lot. Because I'll never be able to waltz with him. I'll never be able to do the Veinnese Waltz with him (which is his favorite dance). I'll never be able to show him how to do some Latin dances, like Rhumba. I'll never be able to Swing or do Lindy with him, which I know is what he used to do ALL the time with my Nana (I think he did Lindy). And it makes me *SO* sad to know that even with all of the hard work I do, I will NEVER be able to dance with him again... :cry: :cry: :cry:

So. In the end, I think I know why I *really* dance. I dance for my Granddaddy. I dance for the Man who taught me everything I *REALLY* needed to know about dancing. I dance because even though he can't dance with me, I can carry him with me in every dance I ever take part in. I dance so that one day, when my Granddaddy is no longer here, he can see his "Princess" dancing and know that she's doing it for herself and for him, and he can see that she's following everything he told her to do just the way he said it. I dance because the stories he and my Nana have told me *always* cheer me up when I think about them. I dance for my Granddaddy.

I'm not afraid to admit that I'm sobbing right now. I really am. And I thnk that when a person finds something that makes them cry tears of joy and sadness and everything inbetween, then *that's* what makes up their "X-factor."

.... *sweatdrops* Okay, this post has gone one WAAAAAY to long! I'm sure you all have fallen asleep at your computers now! :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: Sorry!

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

PS-So, after all this, just last year, it just hit me -- it was this huge shock! I wanted to Dance. So I got online, found the Studio I go to, and convinced my parents to take me for one lesson. They didn't seem to think I'd be very interested in it... :cry: And that hurt. They said something along the lines of, "Well... We'll take you... Just to see if you're interested. If you seem to like it, we'll talk about continuing to do this."

Well, probably much to no one's surprise here on DF, I'm now addicted to Dance! :D And it's not just that I love it, and I breath it, and I live it. But it's something that I can do just for me. I try hard to excel in school work, my family and I don't always get along, and I do many things around the house to help my mom out, because she works and has to help her sisters take care of her mother; so when I'm really stressed out, and just so upset that I don't feel like I can talk it out, or nothing else helps, all I have to do is go to a lesson. No kidding, the second I walk in the studio door and hear the dance music playing, see the people dancing, and just smell the scent of the studio, the dancing, the people, the music in the air, all of my troubles just float away. And I step onto the dance floor with my teacher, and I'm free as a bird. I feel like I'm *floating* around floor, and nothing can bring me down! And that's a feeling I don't think many people experience, and I'm so glad that I have, and I can continue to...

[Chris Stratton]

Sometimes the net slows down and posts show up multiple times due to repeated attempts to get through.

I think this one actually deserved at least the first repetition!

[Sakura]

Sometimes the net slows down and posts show up multiple times do to repeated attempted to get through. I think this one actually deserved at least the first repetition!


:oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: I'm SOOOOOO sorry about that! It kept telling me that the page had expired; and every other time my computer has told me this when related to DF, my post hadn't gotten through! I was trying to delete all of the extra ones!

:oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: I'm really sorry about this!

Are you serious about the first repetition? *blinks*

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

[SDsalsaguy]

Sometimes the net slows down and posts show up multiple times do to repeated attempted to get through. I think this one actually deserved at least the first repetition!


:oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: I'm SOOOOOO sorry about that! It kept telling me that the page had expired; and every other time my computer has told me this when related to DF, my post hadn't gotten through! I was trying to delete all of the extra ones!
Taken care of now. :D

[SDsalsaguy]

WOW Sakura Kitty... WOW. I just read through your post and am very tempted to restore the other 3 postings of it! WOW!

[Sagitta]

The x factor? I don't know what it is, or maybe I cannot be true to myself. I honestly don't know which. The more I dance the less I know why I truely dance, what motivates me. I say connection, but still am not sure what "connection" is! :oops: I just know when I've had that blissful dance, and sometimes I wonder if it is just that... Perhaps it is partly my selfish sense of self gratification of able to "teach"? But I do less of that! I now say listen to the music and let it move you. :? Perhaps it is partly my desire to show off? :oops: I guess I just need a little more time...

[Chris Stratton]

Having had a somewhat repressed childhood and younger adulthood, there's something amazingly liberating about being able to move with confidence - even practice stuff in a public place while waiting for a dance partner and not even care that people are watching.

[Sagitta]

There is some validity in that for me as well. I was terribly shy as a young kid. Though when I started dancing I was already more of a bold 'un. :)

[MacMoto]

X factor? Hmmm, I don't know....

I started going to salsa classes last year because I had put on a bit of weight and wanted to exercise. But I chose dancing rather than going to a gym or joining an aerobics class simply because I always loved to dance (even though I had no previous formal teaching) since I was very young. The truth is that I wanted to go to dance classes (not specifically salsa -- luck had it that salsa/merengue classes were the most convenient) for some time, and wanting to lose weight was just an excuse to put that desire into aciton.

Salsa has transformed my life and my outlook on life, but the reason I dance is pretty simple: I love dance and I love salsa.

[Sabor]

what is it, other than dance, that motivates you to dance?

my soul.. overwhelming need.. cant resist.. got to fly .. got to set it free.. out of my cage.. nothing binds me .. nothing bad can touch me.. i'm invincible.. i'm beautiful.. i'm shining.. letting the soothing beat in.. thru and thru.. all the way thru.. it goes out only to come back in sweeter and sweeter.. setting my soul at peace.. temporarily.. for it doesn't last.. yet.. soon .. i know that i shall bes set free again.. as i ask the princesas for a dance! :D

[Pacion]

:roll: :roll: :roll: Sabor, when you have answered the question, could you let me know please :mrgreen:

Sakura, that was incredible. Question. You said that your grandparents would never see you dance. Are they still alive? You mentioned that they were living in Florida?

Sweety, depending on what one beliefs are - it sounds to me as if you and grandfather had quite a connection and if he is still alive, even if he can't see you, he probably knows in his heart what you are upto :wink: You can't hide things from the more mature ones, especially grandparents :wink: :lol:

[Sakura]

WOW Sakura Kitty... WOW. I just read through your post and am very tempted to restore the other 3 postings of it! WOW!

:friend: Thank you for taking care of that!!!!!! I figured I was just going to edit them to contain a smiley face or something, so the space would be gone, or I'd ask if you guys could help me on this! :oops: :oops: :oops: Sorry about that again! Though I'm glad that what I had to say had some effect on you. :) :)

:roll: :roll: :roll: Sabor, when you have answered the question, could you let me know please :mrgreen:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Come one now, I think that was a pretty good answer! (With elipses to spare.... :nope: :nope:)

Sakura, that was incredible. Question. You said that your grandparents would never see you dance. Are they still alive? You mentioned that they were living in Florida?

Sweety, depending on what one beliefs are - it sounds to me as if you and grandfather had quite a connection and if he is still alive, even if he can't see you, he probably knows in his heart what you are upto :wink: You can't hide things from the more mature ones, especially grandparents :wink: :lol:

*nods slowly* They're alive; but my Granddaddy's condition is worsening -- I've been told by my Dad (his son) to "expect the worse" very soon now. My Nana is at her wit's end trying to take care of him all by herself; I don't know exactly why they don't hire help, I suppose that's none of my business, but she has no time for herself anymore. She has to dress his wounds (which he's recieved from his legs suddenly giving out on him, so he's fallen onto a part of the floor in their condo that's got stone tiles) every day, she must help him in and out of every chair he gets in/out of, she has to give him his medicine, she has to drive him to this specialist that they've been seeing for my Granddaddy -- I think he's something like an hour or more away from where they live... It's just been awful for both of them.
We have plans to go down there for Christmas this year, because it's my Granddaddy's 80th birthday, and his and my Nana's... I want to say 60th aniversary, but I'm *sure* it's above that... So, I'll be able to see them again (provided my Granddaddy is still alive -- *hoping and praying*). So, they'll be able to see me do the follow's half of the dances I know -- that's no problem, I suppose. But, again, the biggest part of what hurts so much is knowing that my Granddaddy will never dance with me again. And I'm sure that that hurts him as much as it hurts me -- because he's the *entire* reason I'm dancing. I just wish I'd been able to dance with him again, I mean, once I'd learned some Dances, not just learning the basics with him. I wanted to be able to do the Viennese Waltz with him (as I'd mentioned, his favorite dance). I know it would have meant so much to both of us.

All I can hope is that I can get my Dad (who *DOESN'T* dance, at ALL) or my older brother (with whom I DON'T get along very well -- mostly it depends on his mood, apparently) to learn the VW, maybe just the basics and an underarm turn or something, so that I can show my Granddaddy at Christmas I can do it, and he can see it in person, instead of my making a videotape of a lesson or something like that. I know he'd love it if he saw that, so... Now I suppose I need to bring this up to Dad or Nahum...

*grins* Yeah, Pacion, my Granddaddy's somethin'! I'm sure he knows what I'm up to, and we call them after my lessons anyway, 'cause they love hearing what I've done next! (Of course, I think my Dad keeps them up to speed that my teacher still knows where my "scapula" is... :oops: :oops: My poor teacher... *hangs her head and shakes it* ) So, all I'm hoping right now is that he keeps fighting until Christmas and we get down there; if it's not too much for him.

(EEP! I got waaaaay long again! Sorry guys!!!! :oops: )

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

[Pacion]

(EEP! I got waaaaay long again! Sorry guys!!!! :oops: )

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

:roll: :roll: Does anyone remember seeing anything that set a word limit on posting? :roll: :roll: I don't remember seeing one so Sakura, don't worry about it :wink:

Thanks for the explanation. I understand better now. What is wrong with video tapes? It is almost as good as the real thing and that way, you don't have to ask your Dad or brother anything they don't particularly want to do :wink: If you do manage to persuade them and to dance for him in person, that would be a bonus :D

Do you have any cousins that are going to be there at Christmas, that you could perhaps rope in to do a mini concert for your grandparents?

[Sakura]

Having had a somewhat repressed childhood and younger adulthood, there's something amazingly liberating about being able to move with confidence - even practice stuff in a public place while waiting for a dance partner and not even care that people are watching.

:shock: :shock: :shock: Ooh! I can feel for you on this one, Chris. :)

I've always been the "odd one out," so to speak, in my family. I'm veery different, in all of my interests, things I love to do, how I act, etc, etc, etc... Any example of something to be different you could think of, I bet I differ from my family in!

So, you're right in every sense of your words! Dance just seems to let you be free, self-loving, and just anything and everything good about being you -- so long as you pluck up enough confidence to take that first step onto the dance floor.

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

(PS- :D :lol: :D Practicing in public places is the best! =^__^= I was practicing Salsa in front of my driver's ed. school when we were on break (to "Smooth" by Santana and Rob Thomas -- *NEVER* try to do Salsa to that song when you're not on a proper surface and without good shoes! You have to cound *DOUBLE TIME* for that song to even *get* a Salsa count!). Well, on the last day of class, it was sorta our party day, and we were on a break, and it was raining pretty hard, and I was walking in the rain (I like rain). Well, I came back under the over hand to turn my Mini-disk player back on, and one of the kids in my class came over and went, "Hey... Umm, my friends and I were wondering if you could do some of that dance stuff you were doing the other day for us... It was... Umm, Salsa, right?" It was very funny. I did a basic or two for them, to some cheers, and then I went back inside. But, yeah, public places are awesome to practice in! :mrgreen:)

[Sakura]

(EEP! I got waaaaay long again! Sorry guys!!!! :oops: )

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

:roll: :roll: Does anyone remember seeing anything that set a word limit on posting? :roll: :roll: I don't remember seeing one so Sakura, don't worry about it :wink:

Thanks for the explanation. I understand better now. What is wrong with video tapes? It is almost as good as the real thing and that way, you don't have to ask your Dad or brother anything they don't particularly want to do :wink: If you do manage to persuade them and to dance for him in person, that would be a bonus :D

Do you have any cousins that are going to be there at Christmas, that you could perhaps rope in to do a mini concert for your grandparents?

Heh, heh... *sweatdrops* No word limits! 8)

I like videotapes -- it was my original idea to do those for my Granddaddy. However, the one we'd made so far only really had my teacher showing me some new steps, so there wasn't anything with "compiled dance," just going through all the steps. So, I need to try again with that. I just personally thought that doing something like a dance in person, so he could *really* see me dance, might be something really nice to do for his birthday and for Christmas, you know?

As for the cousins, we (my two brothers and I) only have one other cousin on my Dad's side of the family. Charlie (he's much older than us -- 26, last time I checked. Nahum (my older brother) is only 18 now). Which happens to be why I'm so precious to my Granddaddy and Nana -- I'm the only Granddaughter -- hence the name Princess. Mum and Dad say that I've had him wrapped around my finger since I was 3-4... *grins* Anyone who wants *that* story, just ask, and I'll give you one of those, "AWWWWW! *laughing madly*" moments. :wink:
--So, no, I don't think the concert bit would work... Thanks for the idea though! :friend:

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

[Genesius Redux]

Hey Little Zephyr!

Cool avatar--that makes you kinda like my lil sister! 8)

And Sakura.... :friend:

[Angelo]

I started dancing for some pretty geeky reasons but now I do it just because I enjoy it

[Genesius Redux]

I started dancing for some pretty geeky reasons but now I do it just because I enjoy it

Oh, yeah! Another Simpson's avatar! 8)

[Sakura]

Thanks Genesius! :mrgreen: And hey! Look at you! You're just bringin' the entire gang around now, aren't ya? =^_~=

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

[Pacion]

As for the cousins, we (my two brothers and I) only have one other cousin on my Dad's side of the family. Charlie (he's much older than us -- 26, last time I checked. Nahum (my older brother) is only 18 now).

If you are in contact with Charlie, ask Charlie! Even though he might be 26, there is nothing wrong with being older :wink: :lol: Besides, if you don't ask, you don't get right? :lol:

Hmmm Nahum is 18. Maybe he still has to realise that there are GIRLS in dancing? :wink:

[Sakura]

As for the cousins, we (my two brothers and I) only have one other cousin on my Dad's side of the family. Charlie (he's much older than us -- 26, last time I checked. Nahum (my older brother) is only 18 now).

If you are in contact with Charlie, ask Charlie! Even though he might be 26, there is nothing wrong with being older :wink: :lol: Besides, if you don't ask, you don't get right? :lol:

Hmmm Nahum is 18. Maybe he still has to realise that there are GIRLS in dancing? :wink:

One thing to get cleared up first, you had asked if I had any cousins that I could get together for a mini-concert. To me, as a Band Geek, concert = musical instruments. Were you meaning it in that sense, or in a dancing sense?

No, I don't get to talk with Charlie except for when he comes to family get togethers. :( It's too bad really; he's quite a bit of fun. =^__^=

As for my brother... :x For the most part, the only thing HE'S interested in is his Saab (car, for those of you not familiar with the Sweedish manufacturer). He'll tell you everything you ever wanted to know (or didn't) about that thing, but the second you start talking about something else, he's not listening to you. :evil: Very irritating. And right now, he's on the, "I'm 18, so I can do whatever the hell I want to, and I don't give a damn what you think!" kick. (He comes out of it for about 10 seconds at a time every so often. I wish he'd stay in 10-second mode. It'd make things quite a bit easier on everyone here... :? But he's off for college at the end of the summer, and then I take over the basement! :twisted: :wink: )

I hate to sound negative, really I do! :shock: :oops: :shock: 'Cause your ideas are wonderful Pacion! But, *theatrical sigh* I'm the odd one out in the family *especially* when it comes to dance. Far as I can tell, it's only my Nana, Granddaddy, Aunt Tacy (Dad's oldest older sister) and her husband, my Uncle Jeff, that are intersted in dance....

:D Everyone else doesn't know what they're missing! :twisted:

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

[mellody43]

Love of the music ... always been involved with/performing/listening to/etc all kinds of music.

Dancing gets me out of my head, and into my body. BIG deal for me. I'm an over-thinker.

Love connecting with another person.

Self-esteem -- Lots of social attention when I go out dancing -- as much as I want, or as little as I want, really -- so ego-boost + control of the situation. I typically go out alone (always know SOMEONE there) so feel very in control of my destiny.

Melissa

[Genesius Redux]

As for the cousins, we (my two brothers and I) only have one other cousin on my Dad's side of the family. Charlie (he's much older than us -- 26, last time I checked. Nahum (my older brother) is only 18 now).

If you are in contact with Charlie, ask Charlie! Even though he might be 26, there is nothing wrong with being older :wink: :lol: Besides, if you don't ask, you don't get right? :lol: :wink:

Charlie don't surf!

:D

[Sakura]

As for the cousins, we (my two brothers and I) only have one other cousin on my Dad's side of the family. Charlie (he's much older than us -- 26, last time I checked. Nahum (my older brother) is only 18 now).

If you are in contact with Charlie, ask Charlie! Even though he might be 26, there is nothing wrong with being older :wink: :lol: Besides, if you don't ask, you don't get right? :lol: :wink:

Charlie don't surf!

:D

*blink blink* Ehhhhhhhhhh?!?! *is confused* When did we start talking about surfing?? =^_^=;;

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

[DWise1]

As for the cousins, we (my two brothers and I) only have one other cousin on my Dad's side of the family. Charlie (he's much older than us -- 26, last time I checked. Nahum (my older brother) is only 18 now).

If you are in contact with Charlie, ask Charlie! Even though he might be 26, there is nothing wrong with being older :wink: :lol: Besides, if you don't ask, you don't get right? :lol: :wink:

Charlie don't surf!

:D
She might not know the movie.

That's one of the things that got me hooked on "The Simpsons"; all those classic movie references they'd sneak in.

------------------------------------
I love the smell of Lindy in the morning. It smells of ... swingouts.

[DancePoet]

Melissa:

Doesn't look like you over thought on this one! In fact very concise.

Your brevity is powerful. Music, connection, self-esteem, self control. Wonderful reasons painting an understanding beyond where too many words might not succeed as succinctly as you do. I am impressed!

[Sakura]

She might not know the movie.

That's one of the things that got me hooked on "The Simpsons"; all those classic movie references they'd sneak in.

Nope! =^__^= I can be pretty oblivious sometime! :roll: :D :roll:

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

[Chris Stratton]

"I love the smell of hair spray in the morning"

I don't just mean it as a silly movie quote adaptation... it is after all the smell that starts a comp day...

[salsachinita]

My X-factor for Salsa......?

Apart from my love of the music/culture/lifestyle/people :shock: ........?

It completes me. Like I've been re-united with a long-lost part of my being.

P.S. I had to do a double take when I saw this topic. If anyone is familiar with the Aussie show Strictly Dancing, you would know that X-factor stands for the unspoken connection between the two partners :shock: .

[pygmalion]

Um... I'd love to see the show, but American TV prevents me. :wink: :lol:

[salsachinita]

Umm, Jenn, I really can't confirm this, but Taita (our resident lurker) had been able to catch most of it on line some where.......?

He should be able to tell you more :wink: !

[Pacion]

One thing to get cleared up first, you had asked if I had any cousins that I could get together for a mini-concert. To me, as a Band Geek, concert = musical instruments. Were you meaning it in that sense, or in a dancing sense?
I did mean in the dance sense :lol:

No, I don't get to talk with Charlie except for when he comes to family get togethers. :( It's too bad really; he's quite a bit of fun. =^__^=
You don't have to answer this here but, what is to stop you getting in touch with Charlie and saying "Hey Cuz, you see you and me, we need to do something this Christmas!" That of course depends on whether he is going to be there or not. :roll:

For the most part, the only thing HE'S interested in is his Saab (car, for those of you not familiar with the Sweedish manufacturer).
:roll: I think I can see his point :roll: The Saab is a nice car :lol: :wink: Still, he is going to have to find a girl to impress, no?

Far as I can tell, it's only my Nana, Granddaddy, Aunt Tacy (Dad's oldest older sister) and her husband, my Uncle Jeff, that are intersted in dance....
Okay, how about Aunt Tacy and Uncle Jeff? He is a son in-law so maybe you can rope him in?

Some men are just pure shyness :roll: or self conciousness. One of my brothers-in-law is like that. He and my sister have a baby who is just under a year old. My nephew has already displayed a liking for dancing/movement and music. When I said to the b-i-l that it looks like he is going to be into dancing, I got the response - no he is not! - :shock: :lol: Well, I have already started teaching my nephew the clave rhythm. :twisted: I can see it now. When he has his interview for day school and they ask him: so, what's you name? His response with be: pa-pa-pa, pa-pa or they will ask him to count and his response will be: 1,2,3, 5,6,7 :lol:

[Sabor]

k.. now that we discussed the X-factor.. time to focuss on the Y-factor for a few.. u know.. fair is fair..

[Pacion]

k.. now that we discussed the X-factor.. time to focuss on the Y-factor for a few.. u know.. fair is fair..

Talking in Biological terms, X = Female, Y = Male. Given your liking for females, I thought you wouldn't want to talk about anything else :wink: :lol:

[mellody43]

My X-factor for Salsa......?

Apart from my love of the music/culture/lifestyle/people :shock: ........?

It completes me. Like I've been re-united with a long-lost part of my being.

P.S. I had to do a double take when I saw this topic. If anyone is familiar with the Aussie show Strictly Dancing, you would know that X-factor stands for the unspoken connection between the two partners :shock: .
This is a VERY real thing, salsachinita, as I'm sure you know! You either HAVE IT with someone, or you don't. You can still have fun with people with whom you don't share that special connection -- but when you do have it -- wow. There are few things as powerful for me. I feel transported -- like I am in synch with that person, and therefore in synch with the universe! Eep!

And I'm not a metaphysical type. LOL!

Melissa

[mellody43]

Melissa:

Doesn't look like you over thought on this one! In fact very concise.

Your brevity is powerful. Music, connection, self-esteem, self control. Wonderful reasons painting an understanding beyond where too many words might not succeed as succinctly as you do. I am impressed!

Aw :oops: I'm flattered, Dancepoet! I made an effort to be brief. =)

BTW, I love your username -- I love words, I love music, and I love dance. To me, each one is a language. So your ability to express your 'poetry' through dance makes total and complete sense to me! (Not that I think *I* quite do that but -- a girl can dream!)

=)
Melissa

[Sakura]

k.. now that we discussed the X-factor.. time to focuss on the Y-factor for a few.. u know.. fair is fair..

Talking in Biological terms, X = Female, Y = Male. Given your liking for females, I thought you wouldn't want to talk about anything else :wink: :lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: She's got you there, Sabor. :twisted: :wink: Any reason from switching the attention from the glorious Females? :mrgreen:

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

(PS- Pacion - I'd have ask my Uncle Jeff if he can do the VW... I know he and Tacy do Latin dances (But, to think! Neither have done Salsa! :shock: ), so I'd have to ask him. It might work. Then I'd have to see about dancing in such a tiiiiiiny space... Hmm... Maybe we could get my Granddaddy down into the parking garage below the condominium... There's tons of room there!

....Of course, there's still the tiny fact of *my* learning the VW; which my teacher had put off because, "I want to work on some other dances with you before we get to that... That way, it'll be easier when we start the VW." (Of course, and not to my chagrin or anything, those "other dances" seem to be all Latin. =^_____^= Wait... I think that's my father and mother's chagrin! :twisted: )

[KevinL]

What x-factor got me interested in dancing? The double X chromosome factor. Women dance, and after I got divorced I wanted to meet women.

Then I started dancing, and it was hard, but I kept dancing because even if I messed up and thought that I sucked, the woman I was dancing with (and holding in my arms!) smiled at me anyway.

Eventually I got past the dancing as a way to touch women. Now I dance because it is something that I'm good at, and something that gives other people pleasure, and something that gives me pleasure.

It's still nice to touch/ hold women, though, 8^).

Kevn

[DWise1]

I've been holding back on this for fear of being a real downer, something I never want to be in anything related to dancing. But since I already slipped up in another thread, ... .

The "X-factor" that keeps me motivated is different from what had gotten me started in the first place. I had started learning to dance in order to give my wife and me a common activity that we could both share. But now as our marriage is disintegrating and she treats me with ice-cold disregard at best, my motivation for going out to dance and to dance class is the way that it lifts my spirits again in a way nothing else can. I feel that a lot of it is the positive social contact with women who actually seem to be glad to see me, which has a definite healing effect on me.

And my motivation for improving my dancing skills is in large part in order to make dances with me as pleasant an experience for my partners as I can make it. I feel that I really owe them a lot (and will end up owing them much more) and that is the very least I can do for them.

Though of course I am also motivated by my growing love for the dance itself and for the music (swing and Lindy mainly, though I'm also branching out again into Salsa). But then that was not the question.

[KevinL]

But now as our marriage is disintegrating and she treats me with ice-cold disregard at best, my motivation for going out to dance and to dance class is the way that it lifts my spirits again in a way nothing else can. I feel that a lot of it is the positive social contact with women who actually seem to be glad to see me, which has a definite healing effect on me.

I was the same way when I started dancing. Having positive interactions with women was very healing.

I see a lot of guys come to class after divorces/ separation as a way to meet new people and develope a new skill, and they usually leave happier and more relaxed, even if they don't "meet" someone new.

Hang in there.

Kevin

[Pacion]

Having positive interactions with women was very healing.

:notworth: Thank you, on behalf of all of womankind. Now get back in the kitchen :twisted: :D

[Sakura]

Having positive interactions with women was very healing.

:notworth: Thank you, on behalf of all of womankind. Now get back in the kitchen :twisted: :D

:lol: :twisted: :lol: :twisted: :lol: :twisted: :lol: :twisted: :lol: :twisted: :lol: :twisted: :lol: :twisted: :lol:

Pacion... :notworth: :notworth: :notworth: :notworth: :notworth: :notworth:

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

[Genesius Redux]

I definitely hear you, D_Wise, though in my case many of the interactions you talk about came through theatre. Sorry to hear about what's going on in your marriage. Believe it or not, though, however things turn out, it's usually for the best.

Keep dancin!

Best,

Genesius

[Sagitta]

Having positive interactions with women was very healing.

:notworth: Thank you, on behalf of all of womankind. Now get back in the kitchen :twisted: :D

I'll stay in the kitchen and cook if you're interested. You can go to work and slog all day. :wink: :)

[DWise1]

But now as our marriage is disintegrating and she treats me with ice-cold disregard at best, my motivation for going out to dance and to dance class is the way that it lifts my spirits again in a way nothing else can. I feel that a lot of it is the positive social contact with women who actually seem to be glad to see me, which has a definite healing effect on me.

I was the same way when I started dancing. Having positive interactions with women was very healing.

I see a lot of guys come to class after divorces/ separation as a way to meet new people and develope a new skill, and they usually leave happier and more relaxed, even if they don't "meet" someone new.

Hang in there.

Kevin
Well, I've got dance (mainly classes) scheduled for five days out of the week (one afternoon, the rest evenings) and I could also schedule a sixth day. If anybody tries to object or criticize, I'll just tell them that that's my therapy.

[MacMoto]

I'll stay in the kitchen and cook if you're interested. You can go to work and slog all day. :wink: :)
Will you marry me if Pacion turns you down? :lol: :lol:

[pygmalion]

Well, I've got dance (mainly classes) scheduled for five days out of the week (one afternoon, the rest evenings) and I could also schedule a sixth day. If anybody tries to object or criticize, I'll just tell them that that's my therapy.

Therapy? That's a good idea. Maybe I'll start telling my family and friends that, too. It's cheaper than a psychologist. Hmm. Wonder if Blue Cross offers health care reimbursement for dance lessons? :roll: :wink:

[KevinL]

Well, I've got dance (mainly classes) scheduled for five days out of the week (one afternoon, the rest evenings) and I could also schedule a sixth day. If anybody tries to object or criticize, I'll just tell them that that's my therapy.

It's also way better than spending the same amount of time in a bar!

Kevin

[squirrel]

hmmm... aren't bars a form of therapy too?! :roll: :? :shock: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[MacMoto]

Some men are just pure shyness :roll: or self conciousness. One of my brothers-in-law is like that. He and my sister have a baby who is just under a year old. My nephew has already displayed a liking for dancing/movement and music. When I said to the b-i-l that it looks like he is going to be into dancing, I got the response - no he is not! - :shock: :lol: Well, I have already started teaching my nephew the clave rhythm. :twisted: I can see it now. When he has his interview for day school and they ask him: so, what's you name? His response with be: pa-pa-pa, pa-pa or they will ask him to count and his response will be: 1,2,3, 5,6,7 :lol:
:lol: :lol: It's never too early to train a salsero! :D Way to go Pacion!
:idea: What we need is salsa teaching at playgroups and nurseries. Think of the bright future it will bring to the salsa scene...

[Sagitta]

Well, I've got dance (mainly classes) scheduled for five days out of the week (one afternoon, the rest evenings) and I could also schedule a sixth day. If anybody tries to object or criticize, I'll just tell them that that's my therapy.

It's also way better than spending the same amount of time in a bar!

Kevin

Yup. I never drank as much as my friends. And now I drink even less. Almost not at all!! :)

Sagitta wrote:
I'll stay in the kitchen and cook if you're interested. You can go to work and slog all day.

Will you marry me if Pacion turns you down?

A passionate salsera!! Anyday! But, I probably drag you to AT, zydeco and half a dozen other dances too. You have advance warning. (I like a challenge. At the local dances I go to a lady just has to show a little reluctance and say I don't really know how to dance and sudenly she is out on the dance floor having a good time! :) )

[DancePoet]

Melissa:

Thanks for the positive comment regarding my username!

I agree with you regarding words, music, and dance. The three combined can be magic, yet even the tangos without words provide ample opportunity for poetry without the words.

You may not think you can be a dance poet, but I feel we can all do this if we try. Don't just dream it, do it!

Poetry is about creating an image, a feeling, and a state of higher awareness in our minds through whatever we do. Poetry can be with written words, music, dance, art, work, play ... and even something as powerful as expressing love to another person ... and I mean that in all it's varied methods of expression.

Poetry can be beautiful, and since this is true, we then can believe in our own ability to create it. I am very much a beginner with dance and therefore my skills at creating poetry with dance are limited, but I keep trying anyway. And with improved skills, I believe I can improve, and I believe anyone can!

P.S. Your expression of your "X" factor was poetry!

[Doug]

Twelve years ago I met a woman (Betzi) who told me that if I wanted to go out with her, I would learn to dance.

I tried ballroom lessons (I am not graceful), CW (I hate cowboy boots, big hats and CW music!), Salsa (me clunky middle aged white guy - latin hips hard!), WCS (Body rolls and other other wierd things I can not do! Nevermind that I do not like the pop music that WCS is often danced to), Argentine Tango ( Love the music, but Betzi has foot problems that prevent her from wearing high heels, and she refuses to go dancing in her keds when ALL other women are in 4" heels).

Finally, five years ago (meanwhile we got married - but under the condition that we continue to search for a dance we could agree upon!) we discovered Lindy and Balboa. We both love jazz, Keds with leather soles are quite common for women, these dances require athleticism more than graceful movement, and the motions are entirely natural with no stylistic overlay required. My kind of dance.

So that is why we do what we do. Oh, and my X-Factor is/was my girlfriend/wife.

[Sagitta]

I'm glad to see that you guys found what you were searching for. :cheers:

[pygmalion]

I love your story, Doug. :D

[salsachinita]

Un, moderators, Doug's story is so good......me thinks it deserves to be copied & re-posted in other relavant threads so people browsing those threads would not miss it :D !

[DancePoet]

Great story Doug!

[Doug]

Why thank you all, but it is more Betzi's story than mine. After all, she was the one who kept driving this particular train 'till it finally found the station. :)

And I am very glad that she did!