How to improve confidence?

[El Hombre]

We are always told how important is to look confident in the floor, but how do you achieve this? any tips?

people said "mental coach", but were do you find one and how do you make it work...

[contracheck]

We are always told how important is to look confident in the floor, but how do you achieve this? any tips?

people said "mental coach", but were do you find one and how do you make it work...

Practice, practice, and more practice.

[latingal]

I've read a couple books that touch on this subject, and mostly they talk about building confidence through achieving successive goals (which can be small or large) related to, and the daily reinforcement and notice of things you do "right" in regards to the skill. To me, it makes sense to build a true confidence in one's skills in such a manner.

However, there's always the "fake it until you make it" method until you get there.

[millitiz]

haha. I like the "fake it until you make it" method. My coach said that, it really doesn't matter what you think (though it was applied more generally), the judges don't judge what you think, they judge what you look like. Of course, if one is confident in oneself, in general, one would look confident.

Although I think in ballroom dancing, confidence was taken in some specific context. IMHO, it is about taking space. Taking space on the floor (with moving), taking space with one's frame. Also, for instance, when looking down (which is normally the sign of not confident) also will diminish/distort the frame. So if I am going with one word explanation, it will be looking Large (I lied, it is two-word explanation =P)

[ireniecat]

I've read a couple books that touch on this subject, and mostly they talk about building confidence through achieving successive goals (which can be small or large) related to, and the daily reinforcement and notice of things you do "right" in regards to the skill. To me, it makes sense to build a true confidence in one's skills in such a manner.


Yes, and the key is to know your goals and acknowledge them. If you just dismiss your achievements as you reach your goals, and only focus on what you haven't yet achieved, you will be worse off.

Also beware of the difference between "confidence" and "arrogance". Confidence comes from within. You own it, regardless of who else is on the competition floor. "Arrogance" comes from comparison. You can be confident without being arrogant. Does this make sense?

There are also some good books on mental technique. I personally enjoyed "The Mental Edge" by Kenneth Baum, if you can get past the author's gloating in the first few chapters.

[latingal]

I think in ballroom dancing, confidence was taken in some specific context. IMHO, it is about taking space. Taking space on the floor (with moving), taking space with one's frame. Also, for instance, when looking down[...]

This is so true. In ballroom the context of "confidence" usually takes on a very visual form.

[latingal]

Confidence comes from within. You own it, regardless of who else is on the competition floor.

Nice!

[Leonid Turetsky]

Confidence comes from within. You own it, regardless of who else is on the competition floor. "Arrogance" comes from comparison. You can be confident without being arrogant. Does this make sense?
.

That is an awesome line!

I also think the following 2 points can help with confidence:
1. The actual skill/knowledge can be huge confidence boost. This is gained through taking lessons and learning how to dance.

2. The experience...The experience of competing, the experience of "showing up", the experience of training for years.

[fascination]

I've read a couple books that touch on this subject, and mostly they talk about building confidence through achieving successive goals (which can be small or large) related to, and the daily reinforcement and notice of things you do "right" in regards to the skill. To me, it makes sense to build a true confidence in one's skills in such a manner.

However, there's always the "fake it until you make it" method until you get there.
ditto...you treat it like a neccessity, just like every other dance skill

[debmc]

There are alot of sports psychology books and references that address this subject. Deep breathing, positive self talk, visualization all help. Also, look up and smile! That always works! And my favorite is also the "fake it until you make it"!

[Standarddancer]

One of my coaches have said "when you dance, you should always have the image/belief that you look good on the floor"

[madmaximus]

We are always told how important is to look confident in the floor, but how do you achieve this? any tips?

people said "mental coach", but were do you find one and how do you make it work...

I think I wrote this here before:

Confidence comes from truly and absolutely knowing what to do--on the floor, with your partner, when you're blocked in, when you have the floor to yourself.

No amount of trickery, mental-buttressing, juju, or mentorship will give it to you--you have to find it within yourself.

Powerful confidence comes from knowing in yourself that you can handle any situation you will face--gracefully.

This applies whether you're on a social, competitive, or informal floor--and any other context for that matter.





m

[Dots]

Confidence is not given, it is developed over time. In my case, I found that the following helped:


1 – Knowing your steps: learn them and do what you need to remember them (take notes, film videos, whatever you need).
2 – Practicing your steps (a lot): self explanatory, but the more partners of varying skill levels you try them with, the better. You can learn different things from each of them and by looking at the results.
3 – Putting them in practice with people you don’t know or normally dance with. There is probably no better confidence booster than trying a step with someone you don’t know and getting it right. At that moment, you truly feel like you mastered something (even if there’s always room to improve).


I hope this helps!

[Josh]

I think I wrote this here before:

Confidence comes from truly and absolutely knowing what to do--on the floor, with your partner, when you're blocked in, when you have the floor to yourself.

No amount of trickery, mental-buttressing, juju, or mentorship will give it to you--you have to find it within yourself.

+1 Well said max!

I think I may have posted this before too, but one time a brand new lady was dancing a tango with me. She asked me, "How do you get that tango attitude?" and made a gesture that attempted to imitate what she thought tango was supposed to look like. What popped into my head and what I answered was, "First you have to learn tango." Essentially, I believe the attitude (a reflection of the confidence level) organically arises from the confidence in one's ability to perform a dance at that time, both before and during the dance.

I'm a believer that in real life situations, no one can fake confidence, sincerity, or anything for that matter. You either are confident or you aren't--you really are being sincere when you ask "how are you today?" or you're not. People are intuitive and can smell fear just like they can smell a lie.

[tanya_the_dancer]

I'm a believer that in real life situations, no one can fake confidence, sincerity, or anything for that matter. You either are confident or you aren't...

I am not sure about this. Quite a few times I received comments that I looked so confident on the dance floor, and inside I felt anything but confidence, but somehow I was able to show the opposite.

And in other life situations, like job interviews, or parent-teacher conferences, or presentations, I somehow learned to hide the nervousness deep inside, so that I at least appear competent, even if I don't feel that myself.

[fascination]

for me this is a yes and no moment...while I agree that the best way to effect authentic confidence is to be well prepared, I think there is a way to walk and present oneself that puts out confidence in spite of insecutities...and I think that understanding that it is neccessary is a reasonable first step...maybe not the ultimate ideal but a good first step...

[Leonid Turetsky]

I think visualization really helps. Many times I would see an image of me dancing the way I want to dance - After repeated rehearsals it would start transferring to my body. And finally the performance in my head would become a reality.

[danceronice]

Eh, I'm going to disagree with the psychobabble. "Fake it 'til you make it" really does work. If people waited until they thought they really knew what they were doing well enough, no one would ever do anything. You're never going to be as prepared as you WANT to be. You just let it go and accept you're as prepared as you CAN be, all things considered. Wait until you're ready and you never will be. (Yes, I belong to the deep-end school of instruction.)

And all emotions can be convincingly faked, if you're a good enough actor. Confidence is one of the easier ones. Really, all you need is to keep your head up and smile with your eyes (not the fear rictus with all the teeth showing--that's a primate threat gesture and never looks appealing.) If you are smiling and look as if you're enjoying what you're doing, people will think you're confident. Especially at the lowest levels the worst-looking dancers are the ones who look grim and terrified.

And just consider, what's the worst that could happen? As far as dancing goes, nothing very bad.

[Josh]

Eh, I'm going to disagree with the psychobabble. "Fake it 'til you make it" really does work. If people waited until they thought they really knew what they were doing well enough, no one would ever do anything.

Who said anything about waiting to do something until they are ready? I say go for it! That's the only way to gain confidence. Add familiarity with many repetitions and it's much easier.

I'm saying that I believe "fake it until you make it" serves its purpose--it gets someone who's nervous about something to go through with it, which builds confidence. But in the process of "faking it" no one can really convince the majority of people who are perceptive that the confidence is real.

[danceronice]

All depends on how good an actor you are...everyone seems to think I actually enjoy Smooth, for example.

[ireniecat]

All depends on how good an actor you are...everyone seems to think I actually enjoy Smooth, for example.

Do you think your dancing would benefit if you actually did enjoy Smooth? I think Josh's point is that true confidence trumps acting on many fronts, not limited to one's perceived enjoyment of the dance.

[danceronice]

Do you think your dancing would benefit if you actually did enjoy Smooth? I think Josh's point is that true confidence trumps acting on many fronts, not limited to one's perceived enjoyment of the dance.

As I overall tend to score better in it, apparently my likes and dislikes have no bearing on it or I'd be doing better in Latin than anything else. (Though I've only had one competition there yet, and the marks showed a positive trend.) Ability to project confidence doesn't have a lot to do with actual enjoyment or task skill, just an ability to act and ignore your own feelings on the matter. Goes for everything, not just dance, it's just more obvious in a performance sport.

Like riding. I don't have to actually NOT be nervous, I just have to convince the horse I'm not. My actual feelings on the matter are only relevant if I don't keep them under control. Do that long enough and I won't be anymore. (Of course, the answer to "What's the worst that can happen?" in dance is mostly "You lose", while in riding it can be "You're paralyzed" or "You're dead." Relaxing is not easy, but when the alternative is 1200 lbs of nervous wreck with hooves under you, you learn to deal.)

[madmaximus]

Until mastery is attained, HAVING confidence and LOOKING confident will be 2 different things.

The first demands metier in dance, the other in poise and acting.





m

[Warren J. Dew]

Also beware of the difference between "confidence" and "arrogance". Confidence comes from within. You own it, regardless of who else is on the competition floor. "Arrogance" comes from comparison.

Of course, ballroom competition is all about comparison.

Eh, I'm going to disagree with the psychobabble. "Fake it 'til you make it" really does work. If people waited until they thought they really knew what they were doing well enough, no one would ever do anything.

In particular, it's the look of confidence that one will win that counts in competition. Only an unchallenged world champion can honestly be confident that they'll win any competition they enter - the rest of us will have to make do with faking it.

[latingal]

Only an unchallenged world champion can honestly be confident that they'll win any competition they enter - the rest of us will have to make do with faking it.

But one can show confidence in their skills and the ability to bring them to the arena (rather than a confidence associated with winning).

[Warren J. Dew]

But one can show confidence in their skills and the ability to bring them to the arena (rather than a confidence associated with winning).

Hey, if you're only going to use the skills you actually have, you might as well forget the "look of confidence" and just try to win on the quality of your dancing!

[latingal]

Hey, if you're only going to use the skills you actually have, you might as well forget the "look of confidence" and just try to win on the quality of your dancing!

ROTFL! what a novel idea.... *grin*

[danceronice]

Lol, come on, that NEVER happens! ;)