So why *did* the chicken cross the road?

[DancePoet]

i took the original chicken dancing last sunday night. first time i've seen her since october. no big deal.
Did the chicken try crossing the road? ;)

[DancePoet]

Well, according to Heisenburg, the chicken neither is nor isn't across the road until it is observed. See, the act of observing causes the chicken's particle-wave function to collapse to a point in three-dimensional space, which on this particular occasion happened to be across the road. If a quantum encoding is applied to the chicken, then it can occupy any or all points in space at any given time depending on the spin-axis orientation of the observer. On this occasion, it caused a non-local displacement of the chicken which caused it to appear on the other side of the road without actually crossing. So the whole point is moot. I hope that was perfectly clear.
:lol: :lol: :lol:

[DancePoet]

I did not take the time to read all the response to this post, so my sincerest apologies if this is a repeat:

...to show the armadillo it could be done!

(This was a big joke when I lived in Texas)
:lol:

[DancePoet]

Hmmm ... perhaps, just maybe, the chicken crossed just to get to the other side?

( :doh: Lovely, DP, like that hasn't been mentioned before.)

Yeah, I know. :( :oops:

[tsb]

i took the original chicken dancing last sunday night. first time i've seen her since october. no big deal.
Did the chicken try crossing the road? ;)

no. she started teaching high school math & had to go home to get up early (it was a sunday night).

[DancePoet]

i took the original chicken dancing last sunday night. first time i've seen her since october. no big deal.
Did the chicken try crossing the road? ;)

no. she started teaching high school math & had to go home to get up early (it was a sunday night).
Ah, understandable. ;)

[Sagitta]

:)

[tsb]

on a different note, i have since learned that the chicken was forced to jaywalk at the age of 14. what made this abominable act even more, er, fowl, was the fact that she was betrayed by her best friend who set her up. as a consequence this chicken forsakes the company of other chickens and has really never trusted another member of the species gallus ever since and would prefer to study maps.

it's strange as you'd expect chickens to want to avoid roads in general after such an experience. but some respond by jaywalking indiscriminately after such an incident.

[DancePoet]

Tsb is back.

And so is the chicken thread. ;)

[SDsalsaguy]

DP is observant! :lol:

[DancePoet]

I got it!

Maybe the chicken crossed the road looking for the 2005 Dance-Forum Awards.

[peachexploration]

..... as a consequence this chicken forsakes the company of other chickens and has really never trusted another member of the species gallus ever since and would prefer to study maps.....

it's strange as you'd expect chickens to want to avoid roads in general after such an experience. but some respond by jaywalking indiscriminately after such an incident.
:lol: :lol:

[DancePoet]

I recall having read some books entitled ... fish do the strangest things, anaimals do the strangest things, dinosaurs do the strangest things, etc.

Now I'm thinking ... chickens do the strangest things ... ;)

[Vince A]

I got it!

Maybe the chicken crossed the road looking for the 2005 Dance-Forum Awards.
LMAO . . .

However, the chicken's immediate thought was to "get away from the guy in the purple suit who is supposed to produce that awards list."

[DancePoet]

I can see the chicken now as it crosses the street in a confused fashion ...

"Awards list? Where? What awards list?"

Beeeeeeeeep! :car:

"Eeek, a car!"

Then the chicken runs off to the other side of the road before the list has been found in the middle of the street. The car swerves trying to avoid the chicken, the chicken unintentionally kicks up the list, the list hits the car's window, and the car crashes in a firey explotion which burns the list and it is never seen again. :(

[Vince A]

I can see the chicken now as it crosses the street in a confused fashion ...

"Awards list? Where? What awards list?"

Beeeeeeeeep! :car:

"Eeek, a car!"

Then the chicken runs off to the other side of the road before the list has been found in the middle of the street. The car swerves trying to avoid the chicken, the chicken unintentionally kicks up the list, the list hits the car's window, and the car crashes in a firey explotion which burns the list and it is never seen again. :(
WOW . . . I personally thenk you for telling me what happened! I can sleep peacefully now, and not wonder about the 2005 DF Awards.

[DancePoet]

WOW . . . I personally thank you for telling me what happened! I can sleep peacefully now, and not wonder about the 2005 DF Awards.
No problem. ;)

:lol:

[DWise1]

I recall having read some books entitled ... fish do the strangest things, anaimals do the strangest things, dinosaurs do the strangest things, etc.

Now I'm thinking ... chickens do the strangest things ... ;)

Chickens would do the strangest things. But they're chicken.

[DancePoet]

Well, that might just settle it. We've managed to wrap up why the chicken crossed the road, and why the 2005 Dance Forum Awards haven't been reported. ;)

Wait ... are my eyes decieving me?

Hmmm ... :nope: ... there goes that chicken again ... :roll:

[caityrosey]

To get to the other slide *ducks and runs for cover*

[DancePoet]

To get to the other slide *ducks and runs for cover*
:lol:

Yes, but that is far too simple of an answer ... there must be something more. ;) :raisebro:

[and123]

.... to get away from the whack-jobs on "Survivor". Did you know chickens could swim?!? Did anybody watch that? If nothing else, it was hilarious to see these racially-grouped people deny that race makes any difference, yet it was pretty darn clear that many of them quickly settled into culturally familiar attitudes and actions.

[DancePoet]

Nope, the whole idea turns me off, no desire to watch.

[DancePoet]

The chicken crossed the road to cheer for the World Series winners! :car:

[elisedance]

the other chicken crossed the road to avoid them

Actually, the chicken crossed the road because he saw Joe coming and was afraid to be consumed as poor-man's koala meat ...

[bordertangoman]

maybe its a Zen koan........

because he heard one hand clapping

[elisedance]

one chicken hand??? Tall on tales methink..

[bordertangoman]

as in hen's teeth?

[elisedance]

as in tall-on....... gotcha...

[bordertangoman]

you raptoridacious woman

[elisedance]

you raptoridacious woman

Thanks. I think :?: :)

[DancePoet]

Ok, my newest theory ... the chicken crossed the road because Mozart got rid of it. ;)

(See Happy and/or Random Thoughts thread #3, post #1625.)

[cornutt]

Ok, my newest theory ... the chicken crossed the road because Mozart got rid of it. ;)



That was only because he couldn't Handel it.

[LucyDiamond]

That was only because he couldn't Handel it.
:doh:

[bordertangoman]

then it came Bach!

:doh:

[elisedance]

all Straussed out...

[bordertangoman]

chased by De Bussy

[bordertangoman]

and a little Brahms and Liszt
Birtwhistling a tune and Chopin wood

[DancePoet]

That was only because he couldn't Handel it.
Close. :cool:

[DancePoet]

then it came Bach!

:doh:
:lol:

Closer still. :cool:

[DancePoet]

all Straussed out...
:lol:

[DancePoet]

chased by De Bussy
Well ... the chicken made it to the other side, dodging De Bussy. ;)

[elisedance]

Unfortunately, it was hit by de bussy - A flat Hendle songata

[bordertangoman]

Wait a minuet, a B morris minor stops and picks him up and a black m Aria takes him off to to hospital

[elisedance]

yes but they get his chart mixed up with a cat's and he accidentally gets orchestrated

[cornutt]

It was a hep cat and he was really swingin'!

[elisedance]

Actually, its all a big mistake. We appologize to all the tens of thousands of people who have tried to answer this question: the chicken did not really mean to cross the road at all, he was just practicing his forward right rhumba locks. :roll:

Oh, and by the way, he crossed back again with the lefties...

[pr]

I think it was because the chicken wants you to have something to talk about. ;)

[NielsenE]

because it wanted to be the punchline of a bad math joke

[DancePoet]

I'm wondering how many times the chicken has crossed the road. :lol:

[elisedance]

yes, I mean whats the odds of doing it that many times without being hit by a car - and being carried home as edible roadkill....

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was just too far to get there going the opposite direction.....

[pr]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

:idea: Because he wasn't chicken lol :p

[bordertangoman]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

For a zen chicken the concpet of 'road' includes 'non-road' and the introduction of differerentiation: what is the difference between a dead chicken on the road and a dead saxophonist: A: there are skids marks in front of the chicken.

Two saxophonists are watching a chicken cross the road; the question for them is not 'why' but ' how would Coltrane have done it'

[jwlinson]

If he was attempting to cross the road in the Matrix, he must first realize there is no road.

[elisedance]

It is written that the chicken came yea before the road: he died 10,000 years ago and is fossilized 100 meters below the earth's surface. And so it came to be that with the interstate building program in the post war years, the road actually crossed the chicken.

[jwlinson]

It is written that the chicken came yea before the road: he died 10,000 years ago and is fossilized 100 meters below the earth's surface. And so it came to be that with the interstate building program in the post war years, the road actually crossed the chicken.

And forevermore the road was haunted by the ghost of one very upset chicken who, just for spite, continually crosses the road.

[chachachacat]

That's right! It's just the ghost of a chicken.
Ghosts don't need reasons.

[DancePoet]

yes, I mean whats the odds of doing it that many times without being hit by a car - and being carried home as edible roadkill....
I suspect the chicken has been crossing the road for many years before the existence of cars. :lol:

[elisedance]

See, its like this, I'm walking down the street and I see this cafe with a blackboard sign sayin' 'whole chicken $3.99' so I think thats a great deal and go and tuck in and eat my fill on that there chicken. i eats the entire thing. then I comes out of the cafe and what do I spot but an ice cream shop on the other side of the street with a big yellow sign that says 'all you can eat chocolate fudge almond ice cream, which is durn it my fave. and so I go right over there and tuck in, you know.

So why did the chicken cross the street? because I wanted a chocolate fudge almond ice cream fix.

[bordertangoman]

See, its like this, I'm walking down the street and I see this cafe with a blackboard sign sayin' 'whole chicken $3.99' so I think thats a great deal and go and tuck in and eat my fill on that there chicken. i eats the entire thing. then I comes out of the cafe and what do I spot but an ice cream shop on the other side of the street with a big yellow sign that says 'all you can eat chocolate fudge almond ice cream, which is durn it my fave. and so I go right over there and tuck in, you know.

So why did the chicken cross the street? because I wanted a chocolate fudge almond ice cream fix.

So why did the chicken cross the street? projectile vomit!!

[elisedance]

the tale was written long, long ago in the early era of KFC so historians are not sure. Projectile vomit is one theory, oesophagal transport is a second and the third, probably correct, is that after the ice cream binge the chicken was carried accross the road in the cadaver on the way to the morgue. I guess we will never really know.

[DancePoet]

The chicken crossed the road because there weren't many more days till Valentines day and it wanted to buy a card for the rooster. :D

[elisedance]

You raise an important issue DP. The deeper, metaphysical question is 'why did the rooster not cross the road/'. We know the outcome, of course, without a valentine card he was as good as giblets to the chicken...

[jwlinson]

The rooster sent the chicken over first to make sure it was safe. If the chicken made it across without getting hit, the rooster would follow.

Therefore, the answer to "why did the chicken cross the road?" is "To scout the way for the rooster."

[sambanada]

...to get to the other side!

[cornutt]

...to get to the other side!

Nah. Discussed about six pages back. We all agreed that idea was silly. :D

[QPO]

He was sick of playing chicken in the middle...

[elisedance]

his agent told him he'd make him famous...

[cornutt]

his agent told him he'd make him famous...

Old music-industry joke: "Because that's what the Beatles did!"

[PretzelsAndBeer]

Because it was frozen and fired out of a cannon into a jet engine on a test harness to assess the engine's ability to withstand bird strikes at cruising speed.

The engine survived the collision intact but, well, it didn't make the chicken's day.

[Captain Jep]

:)

... Because those rooster boys were hotter on the other side

... Because she'd seen all the shops on that side of the street

... Because there was a handbag in the sales for $29.95 and she couldnt afford to miss out on it

... Because she simply felt like it :p


(And that's why I enjoy going shopping with a chicken!)

Puts on flame coat and awaits roasting ... :cool:

[elisedance]

because he was invited to the celebrity roast
(put that also in the 'people who don't understand the concept' file)_

[BananaDance]

:banana:

[BananaDance]

:carrot: :taco: :pepper: :pickle: :banana:

[elisedance]

Hi BD - I hope you have a little more to share :)

[BananaDance]

:carrot:

[BananaDance]

:banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: lol

[latingal]

Okay, either BD posts more than dancing bananas and odd words or we zap him/her. And I'm only half joking....

[elisedance]

I'm all for making banana spit... ;)

[Captain Jep]

hmmm... I think we need to barbeque him .... yumm

Why did the banana cross the road?
Because he was adopted by a broody hen

:)

[elisedance]

Why did the banana cross the road?


the sidewalk was too crowded with indecisive chickens...

[Captain Jep]

... because he was a cantankerous little sod and wanted to leave his coat in the middle of the road

[cornutt]

He knew he shoulda made a left toin at Albuhquiokie!

[flashdance]

chick chick chick chicken... lay a little egg for me...

[Captain Jep]

... to get away from the scarey bunny rabbit :tongue:

[elisedance]

are we back on chicks or still on idling bananas?

[Captain Jep]

it's a slippery road from one to the other...

maybe we should run over the banana

:raisebro:

:car: :banana:

bang crash mush ...

[soshedances]

If a car ran over a multitude of bananas, would it have the same effect as a person slipping on just one banana peel?

[Captain Jep]

depends whether there was anyone in the forest to hear it

[flashdance]

Why didn't princess Anna Banana return to the Kingdom of Musa?

- A royal edict to Ban Anna forever.


What do you call the Banana that gets all the girls?

- A Banana Smoothie


P.S. this is anna banana

http://www.aroma-dough.com/images/coloring-book/anna-banana.jpg

[elisedance]

OK that does it - back to the chickens I think. Before we mix in the auction and end up in the banana custard...



banana custard? now there's an idea for my new custard pot.... :)

[cornutt]

P.S. this is anna banana


Was she in Bananarama?

[Captain Jep]

No not enough lipstick ...

(Werent we going back to the chickens?)

[elisedance]

to get away from the banana jokes...

[Captain Jep]

Normally, chickens cant cross roads as they get distracted by something on the way. Then they get run over by a passing car. However, with the help of banana skins, scientists at Purdoe University have managed to make the chicken *cross* the road. Yes, folks, this is a major scientific breakthrough. By tieing banana skins to each foot, the chicken was able to ski from one side of the road to the other. The banana skins were so slippy that it was unable to get distracted and instead kept moving in a straight line. Scientists are hailing the discovery as a "once in a lifetime technological breakthrough".

Lead scientist Mr P N Beer was available for comment, but was unable to express himself without talking about quantum mechanics.

Scientists are now hoping to harness banana power in their quest for a renewable energy source.

[soshedances]

:uplaugh:

[elisedance]

OK so has anyone actually slipped on a banana skin? I tried it once (I know, you might have guessed). Its like trying to slip on one of those rubber bath inserts.

So where did the myth of slippery banana skins actually come from? (now if thats not a new thread I don't know what is...)

[waltzgirl]

Did you have the skin side up or down?

[elisedance]

good question.
[back to the laboratory...] stick, stick, OOOOPS

[Captain Jep]

and repeat 100 times!

[elisedance]

"100 times"
OK, so now what

[emeralddancer]

So between chickens crossing roads, bananas (with no mention of monkeys BUT mentioning slippery ones), quantum mechanics, oh and cannibals ....Um what next I say? What next?

(btw ... don't monkey's AND bananas go together? Much like Pretzels and beer?) ;)

[Captain Jep]

"100 times"
OK, so now what

Errr .. is that usually how you conduct your experiments?!


So between chickens crossing roads, bananas (with no mention of monkeys BUT mentioning slippery ones), quantum mechanics, oh and cannibals ....Um what next I say? What next?

(btw ... don't monkey's AND bananas go together? Much like Pretzels and beer?) ;)

OK then clever - why did the monkey *cross* the road ?

(Assume that he is not duct-taped to the chicken :cool: )

[emeralddancer]

OK then - why did the monkey *cross* the road ?

(Assume that he is not duct-taped to the chicken :cool: )





Errr .. is that usually how you conduct your experiments?!


Smart *Bleep*:cool::p

[Captain Jep]

And proud :p