Intimidating Dancers

[pygmalion]

Have you ever danced with someone you found intimidating -- either a well-known dancer, a really good dancer, or, for whatver reason, someone who intimidated you? How did it happen? How did you handle it? Thoughts or reflections? 8)

[Sabor]

i'm intimadating.. so they say.. but then i've always been so to other people wether in dance or in general.. tho i think this originates from personality and how u express yourself primarily and not just specific to how good your dancing is.. but surely dancing may accentuate it

so, i think i am, yet in an overall +ve way.. ie.. adds to the dance.. when the other party is naturally confident .. and shares the flava.. makes u rise to new levels.. but i can certainly hold back if the one i'm dancing with responds negatively..

[Sagitta]

Depends on how I'm feeling. Right now I could dance with a world famous Argentine tanguera and not feel intimidated in the least just doing the walk. That's right!! Just walking... No ochos, no crosses, no embelishments...nada!!

[youngsta]

I choked...because I was trying to impress them too much instead of just dancing. But that was a long time ago, I'm game for anyone these days!! :wink:

[etchuck]

Nowadays, I pretty much think: what the heck. I have no shame. ;)

[Laura]

I get very nervous if it's the first time I've danced with them. But if it's someone I've gotten to know, I just have a good time!

[Doug]

I used to NEVER ask intimidatingly good follows to dance. Figured that I couldn't possibly entertain her for an entire 3 min. Now that I am a better and more experienced dancer, I realize that there are a LOT of things a good follow can do to entertain herself as long as my leads are clear and I give her space. So that she will feel like she has danced and not simply been danced.

So now I have no qualms about asking any follows to dance due to intimidation. OTOH, there are a number of follows that I don't ask to dance because I can't deal with them. But that is a different problem altogether.

[danceguy]

If the lady looks friendly, I'll always ask for a dance. It all depends on their personality...if they have great skills and a great personality...well then it can be a lot of fun! If not, then at least most songs are only 3-5 minutes. :wink: :roll: :)

Good or bad, its always a learning experience when you dance with someone who is very advanced compared to yourself. That's how I met my current teacher...when I first danced with her (not knowing she was a teacher), I was soon to find out that my sloppy technique wouldn't work with her. She was an amazing follower and didn't backlead, but I became so frustrated when dancing with her that it really inspired me to become a better dancer. There's always something to learn if you keep an open mind and a humble heart. :oops: :P

So you never know unless you try. Ask em' all I say. One dance can't kill you (well maybe). 8) :D

SG

[vey]

Being an insecure little thing :wink: , I'm generally intimidated dancing with instructors. I know, I really need to get over myself, but I just don't dance my best with them.
As for advanced dancers, it depends...., if a person gives me supportive vibes or simply enjoying the dance - great, but if I get a "critical vibe", I get easily flustered. :cry:

[Anonymous]

My ex.
He was GOOD, but geez, he was rough- really curt, stiff, and threw loose, klutzy me all over the floor with spins and dips and crazy stuff. Oh, I loved to WATCH him, but I just couldn't cut it. I'm too much of a farmgirl, and all my partners have four hooves instead of two feet- maybe that was the problem- although you gotta be pretty darn quick with Zumi..

Now, I'm not really intimidated, I'm kind of mildly ashamed, as I just don't have "the knack" for it - I have to have constant repetition, slow practice, and rote to get anything from dancing to memorizing things to get things right. I can't just "get it" in a few tries. When faced with something new, my brain clams up and forms a protective wall, not allowing thought in OR out.

But then, if you'd eaten two windshields and the showjumper footing at the KY horse park, you'd have a tough time rememberin' stuff too! LOL

[huey]

Have you ever danced with someone you found intimidating -- either a well-known dancer, a really good dancer, or, for whatver reason, someone who intimidated you? How did it happen? How did you handle it? Thoughts or reflections? 8)

Me? Oh no, never :wink:

Er - yes.

My (female) teachers, who have occasionally asked me to dance. Because I know they taught me and that seems to get in the way of me enjoying myself. I can't shake off the feeling that they are examining me.

Fabulous followers who sometimes ask me. Because I have seen them dance brilliantly with other people, and I struggle to justify why they should dance with me. If they happen to be good-looking, it's worse.

The (Lindy Hop) music plays a big factor. If it's very fast, I can panic. If it's medium-paced, at least I can find comfort in some standard 6 and 8 count moves, and these will get me through.

But, to answer your question 'Have you ever danced with someone you found intimidating', if I am feeling intimidated by someone, I don't ask them anyway, and the dance will only happen if they ask me and I accept. I normally try to avoid them, and stick to people I feel safe with.

[squirrel]

intimidating leads... yes I get intimidated the first time I dance with somebody who is far better than I am... but otherwise, I do not really care...
And I guess I am an intimidating follower, since I'm an instructor... :oops:

[tj]

Ok, I'll admit it. Dancing with some of the more "famous" or reputable dancers/instructors can be intimidating to me (like Edie, Liz Lira, Anna, et al.). Thing is... most of them will be "professionally" courteous at least, so it's silly to feel this way.

Then again, I don't particularly like to seek out "trophy dances" like this. I'm much happier just having a "normal" dance with a good follow.

[Katarzyna]

I get intimidated anytime I dance with a decent latin guy... My latin is just soooooo bad, that I feel the guy must be suffering to dance with me... :( :( :(

[pygmalion]

Ok, I'll admit it. Dancing with some of the more "famous" or reputable dancers/instructors can be intimidating to me (like Edie, Liz Lira, Anna, et al.). Thing is... most of them will be "professionally" courteous at least, so it's silly to feel this way.


I would be scared stiff. Anybody who's famous enough to be instantly recognizable by the first name is too big for me. :oops: :lol:

[salsachinita]

I used to feel that way too, until I actually danced with them :D !

Ok, I don't always follow them 100%, and I do mess up :oops: ......but these 'trophy dancers' are often very courteous if not down-right nice!

[tj]

Pardon the hijack, but this just came to mind (talking about dancing with someone famous):

I was at a congress, and a famous salsera was teaching a workshop. She asked me to partner with her, and I accepted, assuming that she was going to rotate me out. But no, she just kept me the whole time, which was an honor, but…

Midway thru the pattern she was teaching, the follow was supposed to do a double free spin, and waddya know, she fell when I released her into it! I was like :oops: :shock: :oops: Did I do something to cause this? But no, she was wearing boots w/tassels and her feet got tangled in the tassels. Luckily, she was ok, but it was a nerve-wracking couple of seconds when it first happened!

[Sabor]

the more intimidated u are/get.. the more u psyche yourself out.. the more the chance u will not perform as u could.. this is true in all aspects of life..

for those who do get intimdated .. set your mind free.. let it take a break and bring your soul out for everyone to enjoy.. this is not about how good u can dance but more about how u vibe.. its chemistry.. so get positive and get confident while always maintaining sensuality and passion for your partner.. i guarantee u.. it never fails .. even if u do the basic of basic .. even if u need more skills.. you will still come across as a *******ment to who u are dancing with.. its attitude and vibes mostly.. the rest is easy :wink:

feel good.. feel confident that u are unique .. because we all are... just need to press the right buttons .. thats all.. trust me.. let go.. let go .. let go.. its the only way u will truelly dance!! :D

[tj]

I would be scared stiff. Anybody who's famous enough to be instantly recognizable by the first name is too big for me. :oops: :lol:

Thing is, that usually, these first name famous folk are generally lots of fun, and not intimidating at all once you get to dance with them.

[dancin_feet]

I was so intimidated and scared the first time I danced with the owner of the studio I go to. He was doing a fill in for one of the other instructors at a party and I had never even met him before (but heard a lot of not so complimentary stories). I had been at the studio about 4 months.

He obviously had heard about me though, because pretty much the first dance of the night he grabbed me and introduced himself. It was an Argentine Tango and I was terrified. :shock: I'd had my very first AT lesson the night before (knowing about 4 steps) and remember thinking "man he is going to think I am such a klutz!". He was very patient and gave me a quick lesson in where my weight should be in certain steps and even continued into the next song, still giving me little tips.

Later on, we did a progressive jive and when I got around to him, he asked me if I had done rock 'n roll dancing. I told him that I had been at a competition studio when I was younger and we did a lot of jive. His eyes just lit up and he started calling me "jive girl" after that.

Now whenever a swing, triple swing or cha comes on at a party, he grabs me. And I look forward to it! :wink: A lot of women find him intimidating, but I absolutely love dancing with him. It's a different challenge every time.

I even have a private lesson with him tonight!!! Only 12 hours to go!! :D :D (Can you tell I'm excited??) :lol:

[salsachinita]

Owner/head of studio can have that effect :wink: !

I remember feeling that way many many moooons ago. There were only two people who truely intimidated me in my dancing life: Fabio Robles (the one who officially trained me) & my mentor/ex.

:? I guess being young & inexperience had everything to do with it......

[dancin_feet]

I have been thinking about this and the thought came to me of how a more experienced dancer can make a newbie feel less intimidated (other than the usual encouragement).

Personally I tone down the technique side of my dancing and just move with them. I can think of nothing more intimidating than being a newbie and dancing a rumba or cha with someone using full cuban motion technique and style! :shock:

Any other thoughts?

[Sagitta]

I have been thinking about this and the thought came to me of how a more experienced dancer can make a newbie feel less intimidated (other than the usual encouragement).

Personally I tone down the technique side of my dancing and just move with them. I can think of nothing more intimidating than being a newbie and dancing a rumba or cha with someone using full cuban motion technique and style! :shock:

Any other thoughts?

I agree with you dancin_feet. Recently I have noticed that some followers tend to get intimidated with some styling that I do. I do my best to make them less noticeable and relax the follower. Sometimes a smile, sometimes an explanation that nothing is wrong, that we don't do what is expected that is fine. That is the fun of dance - improvising. That no matter what move we do I'll be there for her. As sabor said once the trust is there, once you let go it just flows. :)

[Anonymous]

This should likely be a completely different thread that I'm posting here, but it was this thread here that made me wonder:

What books would you suggest for newbies, to help out? I have a book I bought on clearance many years ago called "Let's Dance!" and I thought it quite informative- if only I could get it back from the boyfriend, LOL. The ex was a wealth of knowledge on dancing, but like I said- he was really, really arrogant. Big fish, little pond kind of thing.

Any others?

[passion]

I remember when I first started dancing being incredibly intimidated to dance with anyone good. Even now I still get intimidated. I freeze up and get stiff and my dancing suffers as a result. I'm not quite sure how I'll get over that... :?:

Currently, I'm in the middle. I still get intimidated, but I also intimidate people. That's quite a switch for me, and it makes me uncomfortable. I really dislike that feeling of causing someone discomfort. However, I use my own experiences as a tool to help those who are intimidated. I love to see their face when they're relaxed and enjoying themselves!

I just let go and get into the dance so that we're flowing together, smoothly. That allows the both of us to get into it and enjoy. I also make sure that I let them know how much fun I had. That type of natural encouragement is visible without being told.

[love2swing]

There is this one guy who comes to studio parties every once in a while. He just moved to the area this past year, and has been dancing for well over twenty years. He also danced professionaly, competed all the time, has several books, videos, etc out, has been on 20/20, etc. Since I really just started dancing in February, I was terrified to dance with him. But, since I've had a few months of coaching, and a few great discussions (and fun dances) with him, he is now one of my favorite people to dance with. He is great, makes it fun, and laughs with me when I screw up.

[Lita_rulez]

Ok, I'll admit it. Dancing with some of the more "famous" or reputable dancers/instructors can be intimidating to me (like Edie, Liz Lira, Anna, et al.). Thing is... most of them will be "professionally" courteous at least, so it's silly to feel this way.

Then again, I don't particularly like to seek out "trophy dances" like this. I'm much happier just having a "normal" dance with a good follow.

Funny, but I have the exact opposit reaction.

Sure, they are intimidating to watch. But I do not see dancing with them as "trophy dances", I see it as a "normal" dance with an unbelievable follow. Hence I do seek out those dance when I feel like I can dance nicely on that day.

And I don't expect them to be "professionally courteous" with me at the end of the dance. If they are, then I'll be intimidated the next time I get a chance to dance with them. But the real challenge is to get more than that.

Getting a sparkle in her eyes. Or a natural smile that comes floating on her lips like she did not expect it there... Or sending her in a patern and faking a move so that she does not go where she expected, but yet is not thrown out of her groove, and turns to you like "what did you just do there ? I should have been facing that way at the end of that move ???"


Now, I'm not saying I do not get intimidated, for I do (at least for the first dance ever) but being able to connect and play with that kind of follow is trully wonderfull. But honestly, having danced with quite a few "great-top-performers-first-name-recognizable-type-follows" there are only very few names that will intimidate me (two I can think of right now actually : Edie and Griselle).

I believe I would actually get more nervous dancing for the first time with an unbelievably gorgeous woman than with a famous follow. (beeing an incredibly shy guy).
Now of course, if the gorgeous woman happens to be a famous follow, than I'm toast (see above list :oops: )



Funny thing is I have discovered I could be intimidating :roll:
Now that is something I had never thought about. Though I know I can dance pretty much allright now, I am still looking up to so many dancers, and I feel such a gap between them and my self, that I can not think of me as anything more than a "rather OK intermidiate"

But having someone comming up to you asking you if you could invite her friend over there because she is too intimidated to dare ask you will change that perspective. Well, for that evening at least, for the next day you still look up to the other dancers :wink:

[MacMoto]

Whether or not I get intimidated depends on how I'm dancing on the night. When I feel I'm off, I am too intimidated to ask famous or very good dancers for the first time (or good dancers with whom I had a bad dance before). When I'm on, nothing scares me. That's when I go around asking good dancers and instructors and sizing them up to see if they make onto my "favourites list".

I must say I have not yet had a good dance with a famous dancer (I haven't danced with many famous dancers, so no surprise here). My definition of a good dance is not a flawless dance but a dance where I really click with the partner, and this connection seems to require a really good interaction -- the leader focusing on me and responding to my dance as well as me responding to the lead. I haven't experienced this sort of connection in any of my "trophy" dances. But I know that, when I do get it, I can have a really wonderful dance no matter what the skill level of the leader is, and even when I'm off and making mistakes. Knowing that has made me less intimidated by good dancers.