Arm styling epiphany

[dancin_feet]

:idea: :idea: Had a bit of an epiphany last week, thought I would share with you all.

As you know I have been having trouble with arm styling and trying to make it look good and feel comfortable. Most of the time I just opt out and do the least I can get away with, despite my instructor telling me if I want to maintain my exam scores I have to get this working.

Last week I had a lesson with the owner of the studio, and I am assuming that he has been talking with my instructor because he decided to focus on arm styling. He showed me a few options and watched patiently, taking in my reaction and what I was doing. After the lesson he sat down with me and talked to me about it. He said that over 95% of people don't use their arms to their full ability or impact (this is at a social studio, so very different to a comp studio). This hit home with me. He also said that I "play down" my ability a lot, rather than work with it. :oops:

The way I approach my dancing is not to stand out but that I want to be different to the "normal" dancer. I also want to dance to the best of my ability. In fact, I realised that my attitude to doing this arm styling was that it was going to make me stand out, which is why I have been reluctant to give it my all. :x I am now approaching it from a different angle to create armstyling that is not the "norm" and to my ability. Now if it makes me stand out, I can live with that because it is a by product, not the main goal. I feel I can now make it work for me. Not that it will be completely comfortable straight away, but at least I am now prepared to put in the effort. :wink:

Sorry for the elongated story, but it has amazed me how much one short conversation has changed my whole attitude. I'm curious to know if this has happened to anyone else. Where people have told you until you are sick of hearing that you have to do something, but then one moment or comment changes a lifetime's worth of thinking in relation to your dancing.

[Purr]

Congratulations! That's a great, inspirational story! 8)

[tsb]

my attitude is pretty much the same concerning arm styling. as my primary concern is my partnering skills, the only reason i can imagine that i would pursue concentrating on my styling is if i were dancing regularly (as a partner) with someone who did a lot of arm styling - i might feel a desire to complement her styling so as to make her seem less 'out of place/different' as most of my dance circles are primarily social ones who are similarly unconcerned as i about paying that much attention to arm styling.

[MacMoto]

The way I approach my dancing is not to stand out but that I want to be different to the "normal" dancer. I also want to dance to the best of my ability. In fact, I realised that my attitude to doing this arm styling was that it was going to make me stand out, which is why I have been reluctant to give it my all. :x I am now approaching it from a different angle to create armstyling that is not the "norm" and to my ability. Now if it makes me stand out, I can live with that because it is a by product, not the main goal. I feel I can now make it work for me. Not that it will be completely comfortable straight away, but at least I am now prepared to put in the effort. :wink:

Sorry for the elongated story, but it has amazed me how much one short conversation has changed my whole attitude. I'm curious to know if this has happened to anyone else. Where people have told you until you are sick of hearing that you have to do something, but then one moment or comment changes a lifetime's worth of thinking in relation to your dancing.
This is a great story, D_F. Thanks for sharing it with us.

I understand where you are coming from -- as I wrote before, I also had a problem with arm styling because I didn't want to draw attention to myself. Then I had a :idea: :!: moment at a workshop, and now I'm much more comfortable about it and have been experimenting with where and how to style.

[pygmalion]

Great story, d_f!! :D

[ShyDancer]

Good on you d_f! :D

That was a fabuloys thing to read....I am guilty of the same thing. I can use my arms well but I dont because I really dont want to stand out in a crowd. Even in class with the teacher teling me to use my arms I dont do it to the best of my ability.

Im glad you shared your story! Its given me a bit of inspration... thank you.

[dancin_feet]

Glad I could spread the joy!! :lol:

[Gumby]

I am waiting for my epiphany :cry: - I don't have any problems with arm stylying mine is bowing. I was watching my video from this weekend and when it came time for the introduction in our multi-dance I looked like a baby bronze dancer that had wandered into the wrong event. Or as my daughter put it "Dude - she even beat you on bowing." So my teacher and coach have decided that sometime between now and our next event we are going to do a whole session on walk on/off and bowing.

[Vince A]

Thanks d_f . . . good info, and I can understand, as I had 'weak' arms as well. My Pro told me over-exaggerate my arms styling, hand shaping, and where my fingers were in relationship to the rest of hand, so that when I actually "had to do them in competition," I probably would have a tendency to significantly hold back usage of the arms. The compomise worked out well . . .

Actually, in Waltz, I 'felt' very feminine during some arm movements, but on tape, I matched my partner in some movements, and it looked SO GOOD! I wouldn't use those arm movements in a rare (for me) social Waltz.

[Anonymous]

For what it's worth, I'll add my two cents here. Bear in mind, I'm NOT someone to take advice from.

When I was learning to show horses, one of the disciplines is called "Showmanship at halter"... it's really your ability in poise, grace, and appointment that gets the score.

I never excelled in it at all. I hated it. I felt stupid and dorky. They told me how to stand. How to hold the leadline. How to smile. How to position my hat. It didn't make sense, until one day, an exasperated (yet very patient and kind) clinician told me "It doesn't matter how stupid you look- there will always be someone out there who can outdo you, so you might as well go ahead and try."

I started picking up local, then regional, then state wins with my showmanship style, because nobody else wanted to take the leap and try "getting into it".

Now if only I could do this dancing. Back to my Killian's and twinkies while I ebay. Night, y'all.

[Sagitta]

Night!!! :shock: You got to join the IRU club. You are missing out on the happenin' part of df!! Where things get explored, things get showed. Late nights, good company, a little drink, some good music and a dance or two... :? df or afterparties? Only difference one is virtual and one is not! :wink: :)

[After that poetry who can resist joining the IRU club?]

[MacMoto]

Not to mention running commentaries on Iron Chef! :lol:

[After that poetry who can resist joining the IRU club?]
I'm not eligible... always in bed well before midnight. When I'm up late on weekends, I go straight to bed when I come home from dancing.

There's always ERC... :wink:

[Sagitta]

bah!

[Kitty]

I got yelled at for my arms (mostly by my boyfriend, a little by my coach). My bf complained they looked unnatural when I did try to hold them up and do something that coach told me, and that I didn't use them other times, esp. if no one told me "in this move do this with your arms".
Whenever my coach tells me how to hold and move my arms in a move I 1) can't get it from descriptions, even if it is shown to me a bunch of times. Just can't do same thing. Something is always wrong.
2) it looks forced when I do try to do that, no matter how much I practice it
3) it doesn't feel right, just never feels like my thing

and what I recently realized (like in past 3 months):
1) I get arm movements best when I see other people do it many times and like it (if it is a specific move). That is usually not the only thing I borrow: it comes with the attitude, the character of the move.
If I am told to do something while not understanding how and why, I will not get it. But if I first see and like it, and decide to borrow it myself, I will get it much easier as it will make sense to me.
2) lots of coaches teach that even when you are walking and doing the basic, your arms shouldn't just hang there, they should be up. However, if you just stick your arm in the air and hold it there that doesn't look particularly good (and doesn't feel good either). But the more advanced people make this look good just having straight arms up in the air in every move, how? The key is not in the arms at all: it is in the upper back muscles. If they are flexed, shoulders down, and if you are feeling that you are trying to take up as much space as possible, horizontally, spread to the sides, the arms by themselves stop dropping down, you don't have to put any other effort into holding your arms up, and they look good, very powerful. I believe arm movements are not isolated, but are a part some more general body movement, position, feeling... 3) If you are falling over, don't have good posture, balance and vertical axis in the move, never bother with arm movements yet. They come automatically (or at least much easier) when you have your horizontal axis, to say nothing about vertical. But imgine learning arm movements for multiple spins when you are falling over every single time :shock:

[Sagitta]

Good advice about the arms not existing by themselves, but belonging to the body Kitty! :)

[Kitty]

Good advice about the arms not existing by themselves, but belonging to the body Kitty! :)

just making my own conclusions and explanations while trying to understand my teacher's lectures :D (group classes = lectures :D ) he is not easy, he rarely says the plain truth, just over exaggerations (either way, he can say something, and then say the opposite half an hour later :shock: ) but after I figure it out... I know it was worth it

[pygmalion]

I'm so confused. Is this guy a good teacher who's speaking deeper truths for you to comprehend later, or is he not good by virtue of being confusing? :?